View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
Miss_McKenna
02-15-2012, 09:11 PM
When you stock up on a ton of babywipes because there's a sale on, and the cashier asks how old your little one is and you give her a weird look and tell her that you don't have a baby... and it takes you a minute to realize why she's giving you a weird look back.
Timor
02-18-2012, 05:32 PM
I'm wearing dancing-monkey pajama bottoms, a ratty old hoodie, no bra or underwear, and walking around my house in brand new 6inchers to break them in. God help the neighbors if they decide to be nosy.
JessicaCM
02-19-2012, 05:14 PM
You forget to take your money band off until you get home cause your so use to wearing it on stage!
GlitterBexie
02-19-2012, 06:38 PM
you have a very low tolerance for men (ITC and OTC) who try to be clever by being sarcastic and all you can think is ....fail.
GlitterBexie
02-19-2012, 08:54 PM
your facebook "suggested friends" list is made up of about 40% exotic dancers from your club and the other three in town and you have to go a looooong way down the list before you start getting to "real" people!
charlie61
02-20-2012, 08:02 AM
I'm wearing dancing-monkey pajama bottoms, a ratty old hoodie, no bra or underwear, and walking around my house in brand new 6inchers to break them in. God help the neighbors if they decide to be nosy.
YESSS!!! Love this. I can so relate!!
JessicaCM
02-20-2012, 11:39 AM
you have a very low tolerance for men (ITC and OTC) who try to be clever by being sarcastic and all you can think is ....fail.
Exactly!!! My tolerance is lowered. Our job is to talk to men/women all night to get money, I tend to zone people out in conversation nowadays.
pruttyeyez
02-28-2012, 06:28 AM
Yeah, i feel that way alot of times.
Timor
04-05-2012, 10:07 PM
You fondle yourself more than the produce when you go grocery shopping. My roomie's been slapping my hand away from my boobalas saying 'bitch, you're not at work!'
ShayBaby
04-06-2012, 11:31 AM
you know you're a stripper when...
you go to a strip club with buddies and make them spend money because it's rude not to
you never gave a shit about tanning until now and you can see how a tan makes the 'problem' areas look better
you are all of a sudden an expert at flirting
your hair is limp and crazy from too much flat-ironing
you can master wearing heels that you would have never dreamed of wearing before you stripped
ShayBaby
04-06-2012, 11:33 AM
YESSS!!! Love this. I can so relate!!
oh yeah...you do fond yourself going to the grocery store in P.J's....well, I do at least lol
Your phone goes off for a text message, and your heart jumps hoping it's your guy du jour, but it ends up being some annoying customer asking if you're working....
bollywood baby
04-18-2012, 09:03 AM
You're taken in a cop car for questioning over a fite with your BF and you suddenly realize you've given BOTH cops lap dances last month! And they were very embarrassed you outed them! true, happened to me two weeks ago! LOL
hottiecooteratti
04-21-2012, 12:11 PM
You feel totally comfortable being naked with only shoes and a choker on, bent over with your legs spread and looking another female straight in the face and asking ,"You can't see my string can you?"
You catch yourself doing a string check when you are not working.
You have a handheld blacklight that you take stripper shopping with you so you are positive b/4 you buy that the outfit really does glow.
You know more doctors, lawyers, politicians, and businessmen of the top of your head than anyone.
truth!
GlitterBexie
04-23-2012, 04:51 PM
When you go into a shop changing room to try stuff on with a dancer friend, are both in g-strings with the curtains open and dont realise its not ok to be naked in public until a girl walks past and nearly walks into the wall shes so shocked at your brazen-nosity. We were also talking about who's new boobs are best ...so yeah...when more of your friends have fake boobs than real...
22lligm
04-23-2012, 05:12 PM
When you play spot the stripper OTC
Omg I do this and once I noticed a girl in one of my lectures who was just wearing a sweatshirt and no makeup on and for some reason I wondered if she was a stripper, then a few days later at work I saw her walk in the DR snd she had an AMAZING body and I was like 'omg! this might be weird, but are you taking history 101??' haha. I was a little buzzed or I probably wouldn't have said anything, but we exchanged numbers and are gonna study for our final together. Haha!
Flickdreams
04-23-2012, 11:32 PM
I walked up to a woman with her teenage daughter at the shops, complimented her on her immaculate grooming and asked if she had ever worked on King st Melbourne (stripper district). Yes, she was a stripper. Asked how I knew, I said your grooming is impeccable.
Fantasia89
04-24-2012, 01:57 AM
...When you only shop at ;)
Flickdreams
04-24-2012, 04:49 AM
^No ONE who's anyone shops there.... unless they are trolling!
aussiebelle
04-24-2012, 06:45 AM
I walked up to a woman with her teenage daughter at the shops, complimented her on her immaculate grooming and asked if she had ever worked on King st Melbourne (stripper district). Yes, she was a stripper. Asked how I knew, I said your grooming is impeccable.
I'm surprised you could tell from her grooming! I swear half the girls I work with these days look like they crawled out of a hole before they started their shift (my club is going to shit). Loving that there are still immaculately presented strippers around though.
Flickdreams
04-24-2012, 06:47 AM
^ Bar20? I been hearing bad things...
aussiebelle
04-24-2012, 06:50 AM
^ Oh gosh it's the worst! I feel like it's turned into the club where strippers go to die...
EmilyMichelle
04-24-2012, 06:54 AM
when you go to the bank with 1000 ones... this is me today lol. so awkward!!!
Annastasi
04-24-2012, 04:45 PM
You get verbal diarrhea whenever anyone outside the club asks how you're doing, because it's SO NICE to be able to talk about yourself or have an opinion for a second instead of nodding along to men's diatribes.
Samistiletto
04-25-2012, 06:06 PM
When you move a thousand miles away and you can get guys you used to dance for to still give you money
glitzy
04-26-2012, 05:40 PM
You get verbal diarrhea whenever anyone outside the club asks how you're doing, because it's SO NICE to be able to talk about yourself or have an opinion for a second instead of nodding along to men's diatribes.
YES. couldn't have put it better, lol
charlotte_ai
05-04-2012, 01:33 PM
..you get to the last page of the "You know you're a stripper when.." thread and are disappointed there are no more...
Aslinn
05-05-2012, 11:02 AM
^ Oh gosh it's the worst! I feel like it's turned into the club where strippers go to die...
ROFLMAO I got this mental image of strippers slinking off to dark corners like some type of wild animal on national geographic.
kaiarose
05-05-2012, 02:28 PM
Your regular sends you $100 in a card every month :)
charlie61
05-05-2012, 03:54 PM
"Heeey babe, where are my legwarmers?"
"I think I accidentally washed some of your stuff the other day. Which color are you looking for?"
"The black ones!"
"The black woolly ones or the black knit ones? Do they have buttons or patterns?"
So many legwarmers, so little time...
Nuclear Martini
05-05-2012, 07:45 PM
*You are always looking for new beauty ideas or tricks
* If you go to college you study either something business related (marketing, accounting, finance), Law, nursing, or medical school.
*You can have a conversation with some of the most socially inept people ever
*You watch youtube videos of Brazillian women dancing to get new ideas
* You prefer your hair color dramatic: Either as light as you can pull-off or as dark as you can pull-off
* You have some amount of disdain when discussing your hometown
* You work as a bartender when you are burned out from stripping
That all I can think of for now, KEEP EM COMING! :D
Nuclear Martini
05-05-2012, 07:59 PM
...when you go into a public restroom, start to pee, and realize you didn't close the door -- only after people start walking in.
Guilty, I did this at an elegant steakhouse after my 2nd glass of wine.
When
Memoirs of a geisha is a motivational movie for before work.
When it just doesn't feel right if you don't wear lashes at all times outside your home.
Your bf peels off lashes off your back while making "breakfast" that you apparently took off in your sleep.
You spend $50+ on strip lashes a month. So you have to put them in your monthly budget.
You check the jail bookings everyday and can find no less than 10 people you know. Either IRL or work.
When you say you want my lipgloss to look like you have "blow job lips in pussy pink".
Have wanted to garter your "real" heels to stay on better.
You've drunkly redrawn your eyebrows perfectly
WOW. I thought I was the only one who though memoirs of a geisha was motivational. I sware that movie speaks to me on so many levels. "I didn't choose this life, it chose me"
when listening to a random dude try to make small talk makes you want to punch him in his fucking face because bitch youre not paying me!!!!
Men have lost their mystique.
When you don't have a clear definition of breakfast, lunch, or dinner anymore.
When you know all the words to every Gucci Mane song despite never listening to him on your own time.
When you have picked up an anxious habit of popping your ass...and hope noone saw you doing it in line at the store.
When -- despite being shy -- you constantly have to censor yourself in public because you're used to dressing room antics.
Anxious habit is the best way to describe my random ass popping. I even caught a woman doing this at the movies in line waiting for popcorn, and I just KNEW she had to be a dancer.
anouk.oui
05-06-2012, 12:57 AM
when you and youre friends complain to each other that you cant seem to respect man anymore. you either only see a penis or a wallet.
Money_Worshipper
05-06-2012, 01:07 AM
when you are not shy in approaching men at normal dance clubs for drinks. you got thick skin from rejection.
when you can approach men you find attractive easily otc.
Nuclear Martini
05-07-2012, 07:13 PM
ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!!!!
The flirting with random people is very true for me; the last time I went to my command for muster, I found myself "flirting" with a chief by accident. When I realized I was in flirty mode, I apologize, and I told him that I just remembered I'm not at my civilian job. He said "don't worry, as long as you don't do drugs or have sex with customers, you're good". Nobody knows that stripping is my civilian job; he's brilliant. Well, he's a sailor, so he knows about strippers a whole lot!
You sound like a phony to me. Yes I used the word phony. I have been studying politicians from the Great Depression for finals and they called each other phonys.
I drive an old Toyota, but I have lots of money for my retirement.
There are more important things than expensive cars.
What the fuck?
miamia4me
05-13-2012, 01:53 PM
Work Friday and Saturday make like 1300. Feel sick around 3am and don't get home until 6am. Don't sleep until 11am I feel like I have the flu or strep throat. Sore throat, body aches & chills...pain. still worried about getting on cam. I hate wasting time and not making $ every day.
when you buy baby wipes in bulk ...
you can always spot a former stripper....or even one that has probably dabbled in dancing
you can spot ass shots a mile away
miamia4me
05-13-2012, 11:19 PM
I only buy a pack of wipes every two weeks :-/ and I have no idea how to spot an ass shot. What is it? I have been dancing for 5 years.
I only buy a pack of wipes every two weeks :-/ and I have no idea how to spot an ass shot. What is it? I have been dancing for 5 years.
its typically when their butt is not in proportion with their thighs.... u cant have stick legs & thighs and then have a 42'' behind
miamia4me
05-13-2012, 11:42 PM
I have never witnessed this type of body. Most girls around here are big tits and not really a nice ass.
luscious sadie
05-14-2012, 01:58 AM
I think that she means "ass augmentation" injections.
tempest666
05-14-2012, 06:07 AM
I have never witnessed this type of body. Most girls around here are big tits and not really a nice ass.
which part of PA are you again?
...you get in trouble at your other job for "flaunting & flirting" around too much .....
*Jade*Love
05-15-2012, 05:54 PM
Today before my sociology final, this guy in my class bought me a bottle of water. He wouldn't take the money I offered for it and went back to his seat. So not really thinking about it, I got up and did a slinky dance-walk across the room to him and stuck a dollar in his shirt. As my professor and students were filing in and sitting down. She has a pretty good sense of humor and went "Ohhhh-kay..." and just laughed but looking back now I'm kinda embarrassed. I didn't even think twice about doing it! *facepalm*
nessagolightly
05-15-2012, 09:20 PM
...when you get a cash tip at your day job (hairdresser) and immediately tuck it into your bra; only to forget and pull it out at the break room table while everyone stares in confusion.
miamia4me
05-15-2012, 11:55 PM
Central PA
Cammi
05-16-2012, 10:43 PM
Your commuting home when everyone else is commuting to work
It's a beautiful summer day but you still leave the house wrapped up in multiple layers because you know you'll be coming home in the middle of the night
ShayBaby
05-17-2012, 03:12 AM
When you walk around naked not really thinking about it with the blinds open and realize that perhaps children, elderly people, guys, girls, the President and his mother all saw you naked but you think 'ah well' and absentmindedly do it again in the near future.
When you would be happier being able to shuck off your clothes in the middle of a store to try something on rather that have to go all the way to the dressing room to do so.
miamia4me
05-17-2012, 04:41 AM
I second the trying clothes on in the store! I hate waiting on a sales lady to unlock a door for me then ask if I need anything 5 times. I just wanna try it on in the store it will take 20 seconds!
sukilions
05-17-2012, 07:08 AM
I was in the bathroom of a nice restaurant the other night...and while standing in front of the common mirror I completely pull down my tube top, exposing my breasts for, you know, a quick adjustment...and a lady walks right in and sees me.