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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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ShayBaby
05-17-2012, 11:16 AM
Work Friday and Saturday make like 1300. Feel sick around 3am and don't get home until 6am. Don't sleep until 11am I feel like I have the flu or strep throat. Sore throat, body aches & chills...pain. still worried about getting on cam. I hate wasting time and not making $ every day.

lol. The company that make Airbourne must be rising in stocks because of me!

anouk.oui
05-18-2012, 09:48 AM
- when you watch amateur go go dancers at night clubs, get bored and imagine how you could dance SO much better

- when seeing a large price tag/cash prize etc somewhere you automatically deduct the house fee %

HarleyQ
05-18-2012, 09:56 AM
You know you wanna/should be a stripper when you're on the train and realize you've been gyrating on a pole on in the face of the guy sitting in front of you.

Annastasi
05-18-2012, 05:19 PM
...when you're getting a tattoo that requires you to wear a thong/no pants for a few hours, and think it's sort of cute how the tattoo artist is so overprotective of your privacy.

He kept making sure the curtain around us was SO tightly shut, even when there was no one else in the shop, and apologizing for the "embarrassing" situation of having to put his hand on my butt for balance. It was really kind of sweet and refreshing.

Although I found myself a little impatient when he made me put pants back on to walk to the bathroom about 4 feet away. It was like, "I have a thong on, I'm covered!" What a waste of time!

Flickdreams
05-19-2012, 08:08 AM
You make omfortable cconversation with the people who are paid to look after your Vagina (Doctors, Waxists, Piercers etc), while they are looking at your vagina... and can tell they aare unused to it....

When I got my clit hood pierced I was chatting with the guy about why I decided to get it done, after he had done the deed he said something along the lines of "You have a good shape for hood piercing" and being used to compliments about my unclothed parts I was already saying "thankyou" on autopilot because I thought he was basically telling me I had a nice pussy- awkward expressions were had by all.

Timor
05-20-2012, 09:11 AM
...when you're getting a tattoo that requires you to wear a thong/no pants for a few hours, and think it's sort of cute how the tattoo artist is so overprotective of your privacy.

He kept making sure the curtain around us was SO tightly shut, even when there was no one else in the shop, and apologizing for the "embarrassing" situation of having to put his hand on my butt for balance. It was really kind of sweet and refreshing.

Although I found myself a little impatient when he made me put pants back on to walk to the bathroom about 4 feet away. It was like, "I have a thong on, I'm covered!" What a waste of time!
I got my leg tattoo finIshed up recently and the artist was apologizing for me needing to take my pants off. 'im really sorry but I'll need you to take your pants off for this'
*shoonk* *pants on floor, proceed to walk around in thong, forgetting that the shop is in a rather large and rather high-traffic mall, nearly gives old lady a heart attack*

hottiecooteratti
05-22-2012, 04:22 PM
you frequent the same target every night around 9 and buy sally hansen leg makeup in the darkest shade and seeing the same cashiers and the puzzled looks on all their faces because you are snow white

GlitterBexie
05-22-2012, 06:42 PM
When someone compliments you on your figure/outfit/how you look and you go "thanks, you should see me naked"....before you remember that you are not AT work or on the way TO work and therefore self/club promotion is unnecessary....whoops lol

Aslinn
05-22-2012, 08:25 PM
When adult stores are stripper stores in your mind.

tempest666
05-24-2012, 04:37 AM
When you're walking down Broad Street in Philadelphia lugging a suitcase bigger than you oblivious to the shocked stares of passerby. (Parking sucks on South Broad so to avoid having a nervous breakdown I just paid for parking on South St. My fat ass needs a workout anyways)

Su Su
05-24-2012, 08:58 AM
You know you're a stripper when you get shitty table service at a restaurant, throw a few seductive looks to the waiter then suddenly get great table service.

tempest666
05-26-2012, 05:28 AM
You think nothing of pulling down your halter dress in a regular bar and invite a female to inspect your BA, then are puzzled as to why they are shocked.

mia_fey
05-27-2012, 09:57 AM
When you do the cooter/crack check in a public restroom and get puzzled stares.
I'm naturally brown, but I actually feel better and more confident when I spray tan or tan in the sun even though I don't need to.
When your favorite mathematical equation is...wearing yellow=big $$$$

smeca
05-27-2012, 10:54 AM
You meet friends for a meal/quick drink before you 'have to be somewhere' dressed nice, great hair, in mega makeup & lashes with bulky gym bag in tow.

You can now go out looking like crap because, well, nobody's paying you to look nice for them!

charlie61
05-27-2012, 12:32 PM
I was telling my SO about a cool-looking club I saw while wandering around in Portland for business. The club had tons of poles in it, but it wasn't a strip club...it was just some sort of adult nightclub. I was thinking it'd be a cool place to go, just to watch drunk people be silly on the poles.

My SO was like "Yeah, I'd love to go there with you...you'd put on quite the show!" I looked at him like he had just sprouted a second head. "Seriously? You think I'd be doing that shit without getting paid?" Him: "Oh. Duh." ::smacks himself in the face::

Warped
05-28-2012, 08:14 PM
When you are trying on bras and garters at a high end lingerie store and dont think twice about having a full conversation with your sales woman in the dressing room with the door wide open...

GlitterBexie
05-29-2012, 05:57 AM
when you introduce yourself to your new male neighbours with "Hi, its nice to meet you Im Anna, err, no, Becky, err...Hi..." dammit, gave the game away a bit there...

Su Su
05-29-2012, 08:57 AM
^ Oh I find that very useful when it comes to losers that try to pick you up after work. I have a name and a story to go with, and be very genuine about it :)

TheWeirdOne
05-29-2012, 11:39 AM
[QUOTE

You can now go out looking like crap because, well, nobody's paying you to look nice for them![/QUOTE]

LOL I say this too.

Friend," are you going to brush your hair? Why are you wearing a tracksuit? You look frumpy."
Me,"Im not making a lot of money. I dont feel like doing ANYYYTHING to alter my appearance."

hottiecooteratti
05-31-2012, 02:20 AM
You know you're a stripper when you hear the bouncer mention rain and the first thing that comes to mind is making it rain money when in reality he was actually talking about the weather... haha

stormy_nola
05-31-2012, 12:58 PM
when you start clapping your butt standing in the line at walmart

tempest666
05-31-2012, 02:54 PM
You call in to a radio contest at 5 in the morning and win but you introduce yourself by your stage name and the DJ is like "WTF kinda name is that"

Jacquelynstarr
06-07-2012, 04:48 AM
When the doe-eyed seventeen-year-old dressing room attendant asks you, "may I take this to the register for you?" and you blurt out, "I'll pass, it doesn't come off easily". Her mouth crashes to the floor in astonishment.

(My friend, Serenity, did this in Myrtle Beach, Summer 2012)

Mad Max
06-07-2012, 06:24 AM
When you wake up at seven, realise you are running late to get on the floor! Rush to have a shower and get ready, grab a cab to work and arrive around eight. You buzz to get in go upstairs to get changed, and someone comes into the chnageroom and tells you that you are super early and day shift doesnt start until eleven...and you work nights. You misconceived that the people were going home from work and the sun was setting - whereas it was actually in reverse. Needless to say, I was pretty tired at work that night after three hours sleep. Definitely the blondest moment I have ever had. I have now changed my clocks to 24h format.

melb_oz_n00b
06-10-2012, 09:18 PM
^^^ Haha, I think I've done something similar, but thankfully realised before getting to work.

ally446
08-10-2012, 12:39 PM
this is too good.

hollywood6
08-16-2012, 05:59 PM
When on your time off or down time you think of the money you could have been making during that time period.

You wear your stripper g-strings around because they are more comfortable than regular thongs.

You realize how unbelievably horrible some girls look when they are trying to dance "sexy" at a non-strip bar or club.

eethere
08-19-2012, 11:18 PM
you don't tell a guy what you do for work because you don't want him knowing you make more money than him.

eethere
08-19-2012, 11:45 PM
*~ Your find yourself saying "Yeah, it doesn't work like that." When you see strip club scenes in movies or on TV. Then proceed to explain why.


i get really excited when i see a strip club in a movie and i'm like, "OMG, I USED TO WORK THERE WHEN I WAS 22!!" i can seriously point out what club almost every strip club scene is shot in.

hollywood6
09-25-2012, 06:28 PM
You are cleaning and you find at least 10 pairs of fake eyelashes in weird places. (this just happened to me)

miss1dancypants
09-25-2012, 06:34 PM
You are cleaning and you find at least 10 pairs of fake eyelashes in weird places. (this just happened to me)

omg this happens to me all the time cuz i just rip them off and throw them random places. one time one got in my hairbrush and i didn't realize it and it ended up in my platinum blonde hair. stayed there most of the night. LOL

zola
09-25-2012, 06:39 PM
When weird guys ask you for your name you instinctively say your fake "real" name, even if not in the club.

Joanna_Kaary
09-25-2012, 06:43 PM
I do the ass popping/clapping thing while standing in line in random places all the time too! And I think I do it better there than I actually do it onstage!

hollywood6
09-25-2012, 06:50 PM
@ miss1dancypants ^^^Lol!!

revanluv
09-25-2012, 10:25 PM
... While flying back after Christmas with the family, your new platforms win you a "random" search, and you just smile winningly when the TSA security woman drawls "nice shoes".

True story. But on the positive side, my bestie bought me the most fabulous shoes for xmas. All pink and black with a T-strap and a big pink bow. So worth being called out in front of the entirety of a small town airport.

Tsepmet1
09-25-2012, 10:34 PM
When you can't wear skirts or shorts from all of the bruises on your legs.

mia_fey
09-26-2012, 08:48 AM
When you keep a bulk supply of rubbing alcohol and Sanitizer at home.

Pandora is your resource for new music to dance to.

You have an appropriate item in your wardobe for any event.

ChefKitty
09-26-2012, 10:08 AM
When being "fully clothed" means your nipples, vagina and butthole are covered

jasminebg
09-28-2012, 12:55 PM
When you have loose dollar bills in random areas in your house like kitchen drawers, dressers, garage, laundry room maybe in pant pockets

when you go to the bank and deposit hella ones and your paranoid that the banker knows your a stripper

mia_fey
09-28-2012, 04:20 PM
When you refer to your dance shoes as KISS boots

TrophyStripper
10-02-2012, 03:20 PM
When going through your money from the night & get annoyed by the 1's....throw them in a pile to go through later.

Randomly finding garters you used as a scrunchie when coming home.

Going shopping or anywhere in public just seems like to much effort if it means putting make up or a bra on.

Vyanka
10-02-2012, 05:21 PM
When the person you're sleeping with notices your streaky self tanner during sex. LOL. I didnt have time to buff that shit off.

JessicaCM
10-03-2012, 03:05 PM
You leave work with your garter on!

JessicaCM
10-03-2012, 03:11 PM
When going through your money from the night & get annoyed by the 1's....throw them in a pile to go through later.

Randomly finding garters you used as a scrunchie when coming home.

Going shopping or anywhere in public just seems like to much effort if it means putting make up or a bra on.

Girl yes, especially the crumpled ones. I also hate having to count them a million times.

JessicaCM
10-03-2012, 03:12 PM
When you spend hundreds of dollars like it's nothing.

SuperJa
10-03-2012, 05:44 PM
When you can't wear skirts or shorts from all of the bruises on your legs.

+1

Also, you see a girl on the street with bruises all over her legs and you are like "OMG do you poledance too?"

MissJ
10-04-2012, 04:27 AM
Hahahaha I love these!

When even on your days off you instinctively cut the string off your tampon without thinking

When you go out with your friends OTC you know how to handle the guys that try and talk to you and you don't fall for any of their cr*p because you've already figured out what kind of customer they would be ITC!

Whenever you hear a new song you automatically think about how you could dance to it on stage

When nothing shocks you anymore because you've pretty much seen it all!

When you find glitter in the strangest places

Flickdreams
10-04-2012, 07:45 AM
You wear tracks and cap, with suitcase in tow, to enter/exit work (incognito outfit)

The shoe salesgirl comments that the heels you're trying on are very high yet you put them on and swivel like a catwalk expert.

Eyemasks and earplugs are your best friends.

SuperJa
10-04-2012, 11:14 AM
When even on your days off you instinctively cut the string off your tampon without thinking



I HATE when I do that.

Flickdreams
10-04-2012, 09:42 PM
^finger diving time