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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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TrophyStripper
10-05-2012, 12:53 AM
Netflix & take out food in your sweats is the perfect night off.

A 4 figure night off means you can treat yourself to an extra night off from work that week.

TrophyStripper
10-05-2012, 12:54 AM
Netflix & take out food in your sweats is the perfect night off.

A 4 figure night off means you can treat yourself to an extra night off from work that week.

smeca
10-06-2012, 06:31 AM
^ For me it makes me more determined to stick to my nights so i can pull in a huge weekly haul! lol greed kicks in

alvida
10-06-2012, 11:23 AM
When you have a hickey and someone at work asks if you were attempting a shoulder mount on the pole.

spartaca
10-08-2012, 02:28 PM
When you refuse to dance in normal clubs because it's full of girls dancing in a way they think is sexy and if you went and did it properly you'd give yourself away.

Liv.
10-09-2012, 08:24 AM
When you refuse to dance in normal clubs because it's full of girls dancing in a way they think is sexy and if you went and did it properly you'd give yourself away.

Exactly lol ... And the concept of paying to go to a night club and dance on guys with no profit gain is a absurd to me .i tried to dance in the club and after one song I thought about the money I would have just made smh

countcrabula
10-19-2012, 04:17 PM
when you forget to take your money off your garter at the end of shift and head to the nearest 7-11... then duck in a corner/bathroom to take it off so you can pay at the register without stares

charlotte_ai
10-20-2012, 12:58 PM
When you can lose an entire nights wages by stashing it somewhere wierd for safe transport home, and not even notice it's missing until you find the money weeks later...

Purrfect
10-21-2012, 08:21 AM
Exactly lol ... And the concept of paying to go to a night club and dance on guys with no profit gain is a absurd to me .i tried to dance in the club and after one song I thought about the money I would have just made smh

Omg this x1000000. I used to love nightclubs and now all I think is 'what? I need to pay to get in, pay for the drinks, stand in the queues and deal with stupid drunk jerks without getting paid? naah, i'd rather stay home and watch movies.' :D

MissFoxxx
10-26-2012, 10:10 PM
When you walk into a normal bar and start scoping out the room for guys to hustle.... Or worse start peeking at guys watches to see how expensive they are

When you start booty clapping when you are bored in line without thinking about it

When you can't figure out if that guy on the bus is staring at you because you look hot or if he's seen you naked already

When guys have been handing you money for years and you can't remember their names!

When you shop at stores in the mall where you are the only one in the dressing room who is over 15.... cuz thats where the best stripper clothing is

When you wake up to find your cat's face covered in glitter. And when all your laundry has glitter in it somewhere.

Cammi
10-29-2012, 12:54 PM
When you realise you can recycle your Halloween costume for work if you just cut off the devil hood.

AnthroGirl
11-01-2012, 11:54 PM
When you start booty clapping when you are bored in line without thinking about it



Oh my god, YES-- or popping alternate butt-cheeks. SO EMBARASSING.

tempest666
11-02-2012, 03:21 AM
When you pay for a 3 foot tall stuffed penguin in crumpled 1's because you forgot to change them in last night.
When you raid the Halloween store the day after Halloween and you have a basket full of stockings. wigs, eyelashes etc and you pay for them all in 1's.

Yulia Konfetka
11-08-2012, 04:50 AM
This is a great thread! I love it!
A quick one from me - You know you are a Stripper when...

1) At work, you look totally hot and amazing. But when you're not working, it's sweats and a hoodie complete with messy ponytail/bun! (This was a everyday thing for me!)
2) When you lie awake at night thinking - if only I had got to that guy sooner, or maybe I should get up real quick and try that new pole move before I fall asleep and forget, or I knew I shouldn't have said anything to the other dancer about her hair extension falling out (now she hates me for thinking I was picking out her "flaws" when really I was just trying to help!) or I can't wait to travel over a few counties and check out that new club (oh I'll go next friday for sure :/ never happened! lol)
3) When you have Thanksgiving at you're house, all the kids are hanging off the x-pole set up in you're living room! Make it spin Auntie!
4) When you see a girl from a rival club across the street, the dirty looks & stink eyes start flying!
5) When you're out in public & an overly excited patron spots you and you make a beeline for the nearest exit!

Well, those are just a few things that I remember from when I danced. I am a full-time escort now, but I bet I could come up with a pretty good list for a "You know you are a Escort when..." thread if one ever pops up! LOL

zivlet
11-08-2012, 05:56 AM
When you get home from work, pour a drink then spend the next hour and a half in half-hour intervals trying to get your 'unstringed' tampon out!

Cammi
11-08-2012, 07:15 AM
When you realise every item of regular clothing you own is covered in Sally Hansen and it WON'T WASH OUT

:(

tempest666
11-09-2012, 04:21 AM
When the most visited tabs on your computer are SW, The Other Site We Do Not Mention For Fear of Offending The Powers That Be, tuscl.net, and stripclublist.com

GlitterBexie
11-12-2012, 06:42 AM
When the taxi driver home is being loud and aaall you can think is STFU, if youre not paying me, i am not being pleasant, spent the evening pretending to care what men think, take me home and keep quiet!


Cammi --- Home bargains/pound shop/savers (that kind of place) has this stuff called OxyWash or something similar, like vanish powder but better! I put two scoops of that in with my dance stuff and it gets EVERYTHING out, sally hansen, rimmel, st.moritz etc, its amazing, and far far cheaper! I no longer have the shit stain effect on all my clothes!

msincredible01
11-15-2012, 02:52 PM
When, unlike the rest of the country, you look forward to Mondays! :D Because it means sleeping in til at least 2 and treating yourself to a nice dinner out as a reward for working the weekend.

Nuclear Martini
11-15-2012, 08:56 PM
When you feel like paying to get into a club and paying for your own drinks all night is absurd.

When you notice your girlfriends buying rounds of shots at the bar for a group of guys and girls and feel sorry for her.

mia_fey
11-19-2012, 11:51 AM
I'm sorry but, even before I started dancing I never paid for a dudes drink. Call me spoiled but I don't think that's right.

tempest666
11-19-2012, 11:42 PM
When you are on the stairmaster at the gym and involuntarily caress your boobs while listening to songs on your workout playlist that double as your work playlist. Snap out of your trance and find several elderly male members leering at you. :O:O:O:O:O/:O

SuperJa
11-21-2012, 02:32 PM
When you are on the stairmaster at the gym and involuntarily caress your boobs while listening to songs on your workout playlist that double as your work playlist. Snap out of your trance and find several elderly male members leering at you. :O:O:O:O:O/:O

Ugh this is so true. Workout playlist cannot = work playlist, or I'll involuntarily start doing stripper moves to it.

JemmaJade
11-21-2012, 08:39 PM
At the grocery store, the cashier is out of ones, and you have a fat wallet to trade her out with

hollywood6
11-21-2012, 11:01 PM
At the grocery store, the cashier is out of ones, and you have a fat wallet to trade her out with

Haha I did this at my day job once. It was a small business and we would run out of 1$s often, one day I was just like hey do you need some ones for the till? Lets just say my day boss didn't know I was a stripper and gave me a pretty weird look (:

SuperJa
11-22-2012, 04:42 PM
Haha I did this at my day job once. It was a small business and we would run out of 1$s often, one day I was just like hey do you need some ones for the till? Lets just say my day boss didn't know I was a stripper and gave me a pretty weird look (:

Lol.

I've finally started trading in my fives (Canadian, smallest bill we have) at work, but I've gotten so used to having a fat stack of small bills, that I'll look in my wallet and it's small because large bills, and I'll think, "Oh, I have like no money."

Which has been good for helping me not frivolously buy things... but then I'll count it and be like "OMG I've been walking around with $2500 in cash on me..."

JemmaJade
11-28-2012, 12:56 PM
Haha I did this at my day job once. It was a small business and we would run out of 1$s often, one day I was just like hey do you need some ones for the till? Lets just say my day boss didn't know I was a stripper and gave me a pretty weird look (:

Love it!

JemmaJade
11-28-2012, 12:57 PM
Haha I did this at my day job once. It was a small business and we would run out of 1$s often, one day I was just like hey do you need some ones for the till? Lets just say my day boss didn't know I was a stripper and gave me a pretty weird look (:

Love it!

I actually first experienced the weird look from $1 bills from a yard sale. I kept thinking that song by T.I. rubber band man. Its hard to keep those from falling out and flying away at first. Then you learn how to handle it!

Tsepmet1
11-28-2012, 01:09 PM
When you think to yourself, "Only $200? Might as well have stayed home."

mia_fey
11-29-2012, 02:49 PM
When its easier to handle the customers and your coworkers at the club than the customers and coworkers at your day job.

smeca
11-29-2012, 04:23 PM
when you revert to this smiley loud attitude when dealing with 'blokey' types at your day job. This coarse bawdy-joke laugh came out the other day when schmoozing to get some work done for me, I only ever do it when laughing at dirty jokes with customers!

smeca
11-29-2012, 04:24 PM
oh and when your eye wanders to the topless calendars in said men's offices... but you're checking them out not disapproving.

TrophyStripper
11-30-2012, 12:55 PM
You watch magic mike & think they are doing way to much work for dollar bills on stage!

charlie61
11-30-2012, 10:21 PM
^At least the boys get to wear kneepads! They don't make it super obvious that they're wearing them, but you can see the kneepads if you're looking for them!

NYC_Niya
12-01-2012, 09:19 AM
I found this list on the web - a tongue-in-cheek guide for guys:

"Here, from experts, are 10 signs that your lady is a closet lap dancer:

VAMPISH WALK. A once-awkward, wholesome, girl-next-door type who now swivels her hips in an exaggerated manner -- and has no trouble strutting about in six-inch heels -- fits the profile of a stripper.

COARSE LANGUAGE. If your lady starts cussing like a sailor, it's a good bet she picked up the bad habit from her low-class "colleagues" backstage.

FAVORS SEXY UNDERWEAR. A gal who used to complain about how "uncomfortable" she felt in thongs and suddenly has an undies drawer chock full of them may now be used to wearing a G-string hours at a time.

SLUTTY BODY LANGUAGE. When your mate has to pick up something from the ground, does she kneel like a lady -- or bend over, flaunting her wares?

SUDDENLY HAS MONEY FOR "LITTLE EXTRAS." She starts showing up with fancy earrings, designer shoes and other items you didn't pay for.

OVERLY FLIRTATIOUS WITH YOUR PALS. You may spot her perched on a buddy's lap at a cocktail party, making small talk. This could be a position she's grown very comfortable with.

ALWAYS HAS PLENTY OF DOLLAR BILLS ON HAND. Or when she gets change back at the supermarket, she may reflexively tuck it in the band of her underwear.

DANCES DIRTY. A gal who wiggles around in the laps of strange men for cash is likely to fall into raunchy, groin-to-butt moves on the dance floor.

WON'T TELL YOU WHERE SHE WORKS. Says she has a "great new part-time job working as a cocktail waitress," but won't tell you where she works.

ODDLY IMMODEST. In the past, she never even undressed in front of the dog, but now she waltzes by the window nude without a second thought.

I haven't even started dancing yet and am guitly of almost 50% of this.

gogo1
12-04-2012, 08:59 PM
You know you're a stripper when you are dancing at a regular club, and have to stop yourself from getting on the ground to do floorwork.}:D

smeca
12-05-2012, 12:54 AM
you struggle to come up with a burlesqu routine for class because your sexy dancing is just too slutty nowadays. you don't want to perform burlesque anymore unless every audience members pays you personally for seeing you.

Nikki21
12-17-2012, 02:45 AM
1) you daydream about routines in your head while driving
2) you swing by to pick up a new outfit for work before a shift
3) you regret losing your money because you were way to drunk the night before

Cammi
12-17-2012, 08:42 PM
...random guys tell you about how they were beaten as a child and how they've never felt alive just because they heard a rumour you might be a stripper

mia_fey
12-23-2012, 06:54 PM
When you find fake hair in your stack of money.

summerbre
12-23-2012, 11:27 PM
^Ewwww!

When someone is blowing their nose/sniffling in a public restroom and you instinctively assume that they are doing a line of coke.

And, from years ago -- when you're shopping with your also stripper roommate and find a $450 pair of Gucci sunglasses that fit your "most-sunglasses-suck-on-me" face, turn to her in front of the department store sales woman to nonchalantly request that she front you the money and you'll pay her back tonight after work, and she shrugs and whips a fat stack out of her purse and starts counting out 20s. Consequently, that's also how you know you have a good roommate.

summerbre
12-23-2012, 11:55 PM
When you run out of scrunchies and put up your hair with (clean) stripper thongs because they're so gosh darn stretchy


LOL! I thought I was the only one...

I love this thread :S

tempest666
12-24-2012, 12:47 AM
When you stumble into the pet store to buy mice and rats for your snakes at 9am wearing dark sunglasses. Proceed to pay for rodents by uncrumpling and unfolding mangled $1's. Teenage boy asks "Are you a waitress?" "Ask me when you turn 21, sweetie"

arielbriel
12-24-2012, 01:18 AM
This thread is the tits !

summerbre
12-24-2012, 11:38 AM
When your hairdresser offers you a hand mirror to go check out your new highlights outside in the natural sunlight, and you hesitate before deciding it would probably be weird to ask if she has a black light, instead. }:D

ChloeCummings
12-24-2012, 05:33 PM
Hi guys I'm a complete newbie (like I started 2 days ago) and I appreciate this site sooo much! But so far "I know I'm a newbie stripper when I didn't get home til 4 am and literally couldn't walk the nxt day because of the bruises on my knees, my feet being unbearably sore and my back aching.) Ladies please tell me it gets better!

charlie61
12-24-2012, 05:44 PM
^ It gets better. Stripping for the first time is like not preparing for a marathon and then running it on cold legs. Your body will catch up! And there's really no way to prepare for doing 8 hours of stage dancing, lap dances, and walking around in supertall heels.

ChloeCummings
12-24-2012, 07:22 PM
Thnks girl. Tht makes me feel better! I can't waiiitt until my body catches up! :-*

tempest666
12-24-2012, 09:12 PM
It gets better eventually but you should stretch before and after work. That helps me a LOT.

arielbriel
12-25-2012, 10:46 PM
Start taking Iron. :)