View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
GingerLin
06-25-2013, 04:07 PM
^ Oh I find that very useful when it comes to losers that try to pick you up after work. I have a name and a story to go with, and be very genuine about it :)
I wondered what story you use. Always have a hard time coming up with a good one
mia_fey
06-26-2013, 09:41 AM
When your former stripper Co worker is now your boss at your day job and she makes the mistake of calling you by your stripper name. Out loud. In front of your other coworkers. Happened today and I had to play dumb and pretend that she mistook me for her cousin lol.
charlotte_ai
07-02-2013, 10:04 AM
Whereas normal people find coins when they do laundry, you find notes everywhere, crumpled and forgotten in the padding of bras, or shoved drunkenly into a pants pocket and forgotten. Doing laundry can be quite profitable...
Or you find wads of notes in odd pockets of your bag, shoved there unsorted after stages, before you raced off to find that customer who wanted a VIP/lapdance.
sierra.
07-02-2013, 10:17 AM
Whereas normal people find coins when they do laundry, you find notes everywhere, crumpled and forgotten in the padding of bras, or shoved drunkenly into a pants pocket and forgotten. Doing laundry can be quite profitable...
Or you find wads of notes in odd pockets of your bag, shoved there unsorted after stages, before you raced off to find that customer who wanted a VIP/lapdance.
So true... I think you just motivated me to do some laundry!
Chrissy562
07-05-2013, 09:59 PM
You picked this apartment because they let you pay in cash.
lynn2009
07-06-2013, 02:51 AM
When your previously oh so cautious driving style goes out the window when it's 5 am and you just want to go the fuck to sleep. And you pray and pray a cop doesn't stop you going 80 in a 45 zone but you just can't help it....
charlotte_ai
07-06-2013, 04:06 AM
When your clothes to go to and from work are such that, several times, bus drivers have thought you were a guy until you said hello.
When you switch into full on combat mode when someone touches you at a regular bar, ESPECIALLY after work.
When you know how to make your boobs look 5x bigger with makeup alone, and that's BEFORE you even get into the push up bra.
When you've been awake for 8 hours and have already had 6 showers... (Our club has a shower show)
When you used to be rubbish at maths, but can suddenly add or multiply the price of any VIP/lap dance into any length of time.
When *giggle, bat eyelashes, doe eyes or boob jiggle* mean you can get away with ANYTHING...
tempest666
07-06-2013, 11:57 AM
When your bf sees the new pile of lingerie and asks "Is that for me or work?"
when you have no patience to talk to males once you leave work.
the idea of dancing on a guy in a regular nightclub seems absurd ...so im going to dance on you in the club for 3 songs for free ...Hahahahahaa!
charlotte.
07-15-2013, 10:29 PM
when you flirt with guys for free drinks at the bar and then pass the drinks to your non stripper friends.
yinyang
07-16-2013, 12:53 AM
when you have to resist doing spins while holding onto the pole on the subway train.
tempest666
07-16-2013, 02:19 AM
When your boyfriend mentions certain friends and the only way you keep them straight is by asking "Have they seen me naked?"
When you find hundreds of dollars stashed away somewhere you forgot about cause you couldnt make it to the bank one day.\
When you stripper dance just out of the blue and have to stop yourself from doing it in public. LOL really the other day, this song came on that I like at the gym and I started to make my ass clap a little bit and was like wait, WTF then looked around to see if anyone saw. haha, who does that.
When you pause at introducing yourself to a new person cause you have to remember which name your gunna use.
When your not embarrassed at all to be naked infront of friends but they go to the bathroom to change cause apparently nakedness is frowned upon by some vanillas.
When you find hundreds of dollars stashed away somewhere you forgot about cause you couldnt make it to the bank one day.\
When you stripper dance just out of the blue and have to stop yourself from doing it in public. LOL really the other day, this song came on that I like at the gym and I started to make my ass clap a little bit and was like wait, WTF then looked around to see if anyone saw. haha, who does that.
When you pause at introducing yourself to a new person cause you have to remember which name your gunna use.
When your not embarrassed at all to be naked infront of friends but they go to the bathroom to change cause apparently nakedness is frowned upon by some vanillas.
luscious sadie
07-16-2013, 02:06 PM
All of those ava$!!!!!!
Nina_
07-17-2013, 07:33 AM
When your stripper friends call you by your stage name in public. (My friend did this in front of my dad a few months ago! He doesn't know I dance!)
Nina_
07-17-2013, 07:42 AM
When you COMPLAIN about a "bad night" but you still made more money in that night than your "normal" friends do in a week!
mia_fey
07-21-2013, 07:40 AM
You're an expert at packing light luggage and still have everything you need.
Nina_
07-21-2013, 03:48 PM
When you are extremely annoyed by men.
tuesdaymarie
07-23-2013, 03:08 PM
You accidentally go into stripper-makeup mode when planning to just moisturize, wake up sometime between the smokey eye and brows, then figure you may as well go to work tonight since you're already mostly ready and don't have plans otherwise.
Odette
07-31-2013, 01:15 PM
Don't know if this has been posted yet but:
You know you're a stripper when...you own a bunch of calendars full of half-naked co workers...pasted over with pictures of cats!
mia_fey
08-04-2013, 12:26 PM
When there is finally a name for the condition that you have and you're so grateful to Charlie61 for coming up with CSB Chronic Stripper Burnout.
tempest666
08-10-2013, 04:22 AM
When you find your pet alligator playing with one of your gstrings.
When u go to a bar buy one drink and then a guy comes up buys you 5 more and pays your table . Using you Strip club hustle in the bar gets tabs paid all the time
Addison
08-11-2013, 03:04 AM
... when you rationalize all your purchases according to the corresponding amount of lap dances.
"Hmm.. I wanna buy this skirt, it's $60, that's only three lap dances ... yeah, I'll get it!" lol
tempest666
08-11-2013, 03:31 AM
When the people at the porn shop/stripper store know you by name and clothing size and preference
Addison
08-11-2013, 03:50 AM
... when you size up random, regular guys in normal everyday life and try to determine what they'd probably be like as a customer.
(at the zoo) "Ew! There's no way I'd dance for him!"
(at the grocery store) "Wow! He looks like he'd be pretty good!"
mia_fey
08-11-2013, 05:12 PM
When you wear glitter lipgloss at your vanilla job just to feel halfway normal.
You miss waking up at 10 each day.
You have dreams of going back to work.
The only thing stopping you from going back to the club is the time of year. Summer blows
You're already thinking of what your new dancer name would be once you go back.
^ha, I have dreams of being on stage or talking to certain people I talk to at work all the time, I wake up and have to think, did that really happen? Did I really get that good on the pole!? Then I realize, hell no you dont even do pole it was only a dream...too bad cause in my dream it felt amazing to be so talented on the pole and I looked fab, too bad..
miss.a.p1600
08-11-2013, 07:39 PM
You can bounce your ass/twerk good enough to put twerk team to shame
Telling 'white lies' when someone asks you about yourself comes surprisingly natural
You love the feel of crisp 20's, 50's, and 100's
You've seen more women naked or half naked than any bi or lesbian you know
You have a keen sense of time that goes by song increments
You have less patience for cheap men
Written in the Skye
08-15-2013, 01:30 AM
... when you witness a fellow dancer pumping breast milk in the dressing room...
mia_fey
08-15-2013, 03:53 AM
When your regulars call you to see when you're coming back to the club.
arielbriel
08-16-2013, 03:49 AM
When you go to breakfast after work and you two are ranting and raving about the night in full makeup and hair still with sweatpants on.
summerbre
08-16-2013, 07:38 AM
When most of your ATM deposits occur between the hours of 2 and 4 AM.
When you run into 10+ coworkers at your local sex/fetish convention.
When you want so badly to tell the gorgeous young girl that works at the tanning bed, that always looks pissy and bored, to GTFO and get naked instead.
arielbriel
08-17-2013, 04:49 PM
When you stockpile VS body spray during the semi-annual sale.
tempest666
08-20-2013, 12:55 AM
Your pet alligator uses your favorite wig as a chew toy
Written in the Skye
08-24-2013, 04:05 PM
you have to hastily fix your broken heel using nothing but eyelash glue, nail glue, and hairspray
mia_fey
08-25-2013, 05:33 AM
You accidentally do the foot drag while in heels in front of your male coworker.
You take a half day from your vanilla job to go do some auditions.
summerbre
08-25-2013, 12:45 PM
you have to hastily fix your broken heel using nothing but eyelash glue, nail glue, and hairspray
That worked?! I would've been terrified to wear my shoes after that. I'm impressed!
Written in the Skye
08-25-2013, 02:16 PM
yup, i've had two nights of work since it broke and it's still holding strong!
oh, btw, i'm talking about the strap broke on the side, not the actual heel part itself.
zivlet
08-26-2013, 11:18 AM
I had to fix my pleaser with nail glue last night lol
Odette
08-28-2013, 12:18 PM
When your roomate asks why your friend Serena is always leaving her leftovers in your fridge!
tuesdaymarie
09-01-2013, 01:46 AM
Your friend tells you the translation of the word your angry Russian VIP customer called you last night when you wouldn't marry him, and instead of getting offended, you can't stop laughing your ass off.
shluha
Russian word (pronounce like shlew-khah with stress on the first syllable) for a...
1. ...female that fucks around with too damn many people.
2. ...jade, whore, prostitute.
(literally: train station whore) lmao
carmen_b
09-01-2013, 03:10 AM
When you see a guy getting a cash withdrawl at the 711 and your mind instantly starts doing the calculations such as :
" Ok ... it'll probably be a $300 daily limit there but he probably has a credit card the bar can run for more " ..... and then you snap out of it and realize it's none of your business at all ( this time ) what the dude is doing at the ATM.
Flickdreams
09-01-2013, 04:46 AM
^ Yep, and checking to see if it's before or after midnight (next day of trade) so he can access more $$$
xStacey
09-01-2013, 09:09 PM
When you're wearing a new extremely revealing outfit for work and your coworkers go : that's really cute!
DaniLee
09-02-2013, 11:35 PM
When you're at a vanilla party teaching the other girls some new dance moves and are suddenly glad those pole dancefitness classes are so mainstream!! "Oh yeah, there's an um, studio up the street!!"
summerbre
09-05-2013, 08:53 PM
When you go to hang out with a girlfriend after work, she hugs you, makes a face and says: "You smell like stripper."
Obvious one, theeeere's your sign.
Aniela
09-14-2013, 04:14 AM
When you have a bottle of ibuprofen in your dance bag that's covered in rhinestones b/c the damn things stick better to the plastic than they do to your clothes.
You come home & fish numerous ones & occasional twenties from between your multiple layers of thi-hi sox as you remove them.
Your neighbour who's a 'Vampire Diaries' fan sees you outside on your day off & congratulates you on finally getting a daylight ring.
tempest666
09-14-2013, 04:27 AM
When you can pinpoint the location of a SC from 4000 feet in the air.