View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
mia_fey
09-14-2013, 07:04 AM
When your mom asks you for $1s to break a $20 so she doesn't have to go to the bank.
Your best friend sends you a care package complete with new work shoes and thongs.
Your boyfriend subtly suggests new clubs in his hometown to try.
Pretty much all of your loved ones want you to go back to dancing because you were happier there than at your miserable vanilla job.
Your boss, who is also a former stripper, shows you her dance bag and says it's time to go make some real money and time to leave the vanilla job lol.
Charlotte CA
09-14-2013, 12:10 PM
When you wake up at noon and complain because you know its waayyy too early for a Saturday and you are for sure going to have to nap before work.
arielbriel
09-15-2013, 12:11 PM
When sleeping till 3/4/5pm is normal and god help the person who wakes you before then.
Aniela
09-15-2013, 08:57 PM
When sleeping till 3/4/5pm is normal and god help the person who wakes you before then.
Hell yes! My family & friends all know not to ever call me between the hours of 7am & 3pm unless my house is on fire, & even then rethink it.
JoJoX
09-15-2013, 09:54 PM
When your stripper dresses become summer time day dresses or swim suit cover up.
arielbriel
09-16-2013, 01:48 PM
When your friends ask you if you're working tonight and you say "IDK yet..Idk if i feel like it. I really should..ugh IDK illl tell you later" LOL.
Charlotte CA
09-18-2013, 01:20 PM
When your in public and every good looking girl that enters the room or store you are in you hear a dj stage intro in your head.
"Coming to the stage the one, the only <insert name here>" smh or may be it just means your around too many club djs lol
summerbre
09-18-2013, 01:33 PM
When your in public and every good looking girl that enters the room or store you are in you hear a dj stage intro in your head.
"Coming to the stage the one, the only <insert name here>" smh or may be it just means your around too many club djs lol
Lol! I've never done this before, but I will now, just for my own private entertainment. :D
Oh! I have one.
When you've regularly been called by, at one point or another:
Your cousin's name, your favorite ex boyfriend's name, the name of your favorite book character, and the name of your friend's pet.
DaddyslilHeaven
09-18-2013, 02:18 PM
When you are out in public eating with your boyfriend and you hear your stage name yelled out in public and you look around.
When someone yells your real name to get your attention and you don't realize they are talking to you.
ANY new song you hear, you immediately start envisioning the way you would dance to it (I quit dancing in July and I still do this).
Flickdreams
09-21-2013, 11:55 PM
Lol! I've never done this before, but I will now, just for my own private entertainment. :D
Oh! I have one.
When you've regularly been called by, at one point or another:
Your cousin's name, your favorite ex boyfriend's name, the name of your favorite book character, and the name of your friend's pet.
Actually I will bite on this one:
Daniel, Ryan, Elspeth, Gismo. LOL Interesting selection.
yinyang
10-09-2013, 02:58 AM
When you count cash in the shower stall.
...Or am I the only one who does this?
The two things i always want to do right away at the end of a shift are A) take a shower, and B) count my cash, so I usually do both at once (since we have showers at work). Waste no time! I've gotten really good at not getting my money wet.
mia_fey
10-09-2013, 09:48 AM
Or you wash your money :D
Written in the Skye
10-09-2013, 01:27 PM
When you count cash in the shower stall.
...Or am I the only one who does this?
The two things i always want to do right away at the end of a shift are A) take a shower, and B) count my cash, so I usually do both at once (since we have showers at work). Waste no time! I've gotten really good at not getting my money wet.
i've found money in the shower... i had just gotten home from work and i swear i had emptied out ALL money from my garments and everywhere, and had even changed all my clothes before i went home. got in the shower, was shampooing my hair, and LOOK a dollar bill in the tub... now where did THAT come from???! haha i still don't know!
GummyBear
10-09-2013, 02:23 PM
When you need to find a new dr's office because the breakaway thong you wore last night flung out of your purse when paying your copay. And you only realized after getting home.
tuesdaymarie
10-12-2013, 11:09 AM
You got out for coffee for the first time in forever, and you accidentally sexually harass the barista because you're used to being suggestive...
"Would you like the hot or cold version?"
"Ooh, I dunno. What do you recommend?"
"I've tried both, and I like the hot one."
*stripper eyes activate* "I like the hot ones too."
I apologized profusely and walked away.
Jasmine.Doll
10-12-2013, 11:28 AM
When you hear people whistling, honking car horns or making sexual comments and assume these actions are being directed at you.
I went to a wine bar the other day and walked past some random guys and overheard someone say, "Look at those legs!" I spun around with this "excuse me" look on my face only to realize they were talking about the wine. Opps.
luscious sadie
10-12-2013, 12:01 PM
When you hear people whistling, honking car horns or making sexual comments and assume these actions are being directed at you.
I went to a wine bar the other day and walked past some random guys and overheard someone say, "Look at those legs!" I spun around with this "excuse me" look on my face only to realize they were talking about the wine. Opps.
could be that they were talking about you but trying to play coy. Hate it when guys do that *roll eyes*
Jasmine.Doll
10-12-2013, 12:33 PM
^^As much as I'd like to think so, they were all staring at a glass of wine one of them had just swirled and was holding up. And I was wearing jeans.... Not even skinny jeans. Kinda ugly jeans. But thank you for trying to give me some hope on that one!!!!
whirlerz
10-12-2013, 01:13 PM
^^As much as I'd like to think so, they were all staring at a glass of wine one of them had just swirled and was holding up. And I was wearing jeans.... Not even skinny jeans. Kinda ugly jeans. But thank you for trying to give me some hope on that one!!!!
Nah, I don't buy it, you're just that HOT!:)
freckles
10-14-2013, 07:07 AM
When you are out in public eating with your boyfriend and you hear your stage name yelled out in public and you look around.
When someone yells your real name to get your attention and you don't realize they are talking to you.
ANY new song you hear, you immediately start envisioning the way you would dance to it (I quit dancing in July and I still do this).
Take it from someone who quit dancing 15 yrs. ago & just went back... you will continue to do that 15 years from now. :)
Odette
10-14-2013, 09:52 AM
You're grabbing dinner with a coworker after your shift and you realise your shirt is inside out and alllllmost go to just whip it right off in the middle of the restaurant to remedy the situation...and then are annoyed when you realize you gotta walk all the way to the bathroom just to take your shirt off...
summerbre
10-14-2013, 05:57 PM
When your Uncle confides that he's thinking of getting a vacation house in your area and you immediately try to convince him that your area sucks and the market is terrible there because you never ever want to risk seeing him in your home club.
Jasmine.Doll
10-14-2013, 06:11 PM
When you feel like a frumpy old lady in heels under 5 inches.
Raelee
10-14-2013, 06:26 PM
When you can no longer visit new/other clubs and successfully pass yourself off as not-a-dancer.
tempest666
10-15-2013, 03:20 AM
When you have to remove one of your false lashes from your pet gator's mouth. (VERY delicate and LENGTHY process)
arielbriel
10-18-2013, 06:23 AM
When it feels like all you eat is grilled chicken and salad lol.
NakedNerd
11-17-2013, 07:31 PM
When your famous assets get you free cheseburgers and breakfast sandwiches after work.
Jasmine.Doll
11-17-2013, 07:35 PM
^^Yes, although I'm never sure if it's my "assets" or just the abnormally large tips I feel compelled to leave for almost everyone!
yinyang
11-20-2013, 04:38 AM
...when you trip and fall at 1am during a busy shift, you bounce back up immediately and dont even bother checking for damages because it's peak time for selling dances.
*rosalie*
11-20-2013, 05:52 PM
When your co worker gets fired for having a pimp.
mia_fey
11-24-2013, 03:21 PM
You've been out of the club for a year but everything you own dancerwise still smells like it.Even after several washings.
You still groom yourself like a stripper, ex color extensions, fake nails, tanning, waxing etc. Even after retirement.
MomoMania
11-29-2013, 06:18 PM
. . . when you really do not want male attention because you're not on the clock.
. . . you go to the grocery store and dump all you singles to a very upset cashier!
Odette
11-29-2013, 06:42 PM
When your civie girlfriends just know not to make you go to douchey dance clubs anymore because a fight between you and some grabby asshole IS inevitable. What can I say I get pissed when jerks grab my booty when it's not on duty.
And when your best idea of a good time is dancing your face off at a dive/gay bar and not giving a flying fuck what you look like doing it! Whoo friday night off excited:D
Warped
12-21-2013, 06:19 AM
When you go to CVS after work to get razors and tell the cashier to "have a good night', and it's 7am :/
When you wash your hair multiple times and it still smells like cigarette smoke. I'm envious of you ladies that work at nonsmoking clubs
deni.dee
12-21-2013, 07:34 AM
You automatically face any dollar bills that come your way, at work or not, so you have nice neat piles.
charlie61
01-03-2014, 12:43 PM
When you haven't danced consistently in years, yet you still think about the industry every day.
mia_fey
01-03-2014, 12:57 PM
When you're having a rough day and you log onto SW just to be among like minded people.
tempest666
01-09-2014, 01:45 AM
You know you are a stripper when: Your pet gator doesn't react to the sound of food but snaps to attention when money starts getting uncrumpled.
My pet gator is watching me as I type.
Your baby crocodile sees you with a wig on and freaks out. (Crocodilians are pretty smart. They recognize faces and voices)
audrey_k
01-09-2014, 02:41 AM
Your local CVS remembers you every time you come in because your nightly purchases are:
2 packs of wine coolers
fake eyelashes
baby wipes
and
when you go to a strip club with a group of friends and spend the whole time annoyed because you want to be on stage/doing dances cause being in a club makes you feel like making money.... and a random guy in line for the ATM machine asks you if you will give him a lap dance and after you inform him you're not a stripper at the club he says "really? sorry thought you were!"
lynn2009
01-16-2014, 09:07 PM
When you step out of the shower and are like damn it I forgot to shave my vagina!
Aniela
01-16-2014, 09:18 PM
When your idea of a 'business casual' outfit is a see-thru tank layered under two see-thru blouses, a miniskirt & 5" closed-toe heels.
tempest666
01-17-2014, 05:55 AM
You pull into a CVS parking lot at 3 in the morning to take off your wig and carefully repackage it.
ToeOfTheCamel
01-18-2014, 04:42 AM
When you catch yourself using a goddamn dollar bill for a book mark! I rolled my eyes at myself sooo hard! Like seriously? Jeez.
Aniela
01-18-2014, 05:35 PM
^^^^ I have caught myself doing that on occasion. Hey, whatever's handy! :D
deni.dee
01-19-2014, 01:04 PM
You know you're a stripper when you have a "meeting" with management and all the dancers care about is better food in the club, a more private place to take a shit, and getting a water cooler in the dressing room.
hollywood6
01-20-2014, 05:14 PM
You get nervous about introducing yourself to people outside of work because you are afraid you are going to let the wrong name slip out.
OliveJardin
01-20-2014, 05:46 PM
...when the washing drying on your balcony consist of (apart from the usual lingerie, yoga pants and pj's) long blonde hair extensions (it's been 40 something degrees here...the wind is faster than a hair dryer lol!) ;).
When your on the train to your vanilla desk job and that guy keeps staring at you like he knows you. Yeahhh you've probably seen me naked . now u see me in a business suit . lol
Odette
01-23-2014, 08:35 PM
The first thing you think when you find out your ex boyfriend is going to be at the same party as you tonight is: "alright, big guns: time to bust out the work hair, makeup, and bras."
LostGirlFeral
01-29-2014, 01:18 AM
... You invite all your close friends to hang out with you at work and they don't even blink an eye while saying yes.
... Your boyfriend suddenly becomes a god among his friends.
... You go to the park and immediately find the fireman's pole.