View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
OliveJardin
01-29-2014, 01:47 AM
[QUOTE=LostGirlFeral;2585888
... You go to the park and immediately find the fireman's pole.[/QUOTE]
^Lol, I have friends that have been known to do pole tricks on street signs after a big night out *face palm*.
LostGirlFeral
01-31-2014, 01:21 PM
^Lol, I have friends that have been known to do pole tricks on street signs after a big night out *face palm*.
Lmao, sounds like my kinda crowd! Really though. I've gone places with friends and they can't help but stop and say, "wow. Strippers are weird people." It's always a compliment.
Odette
01-31-2014, 02:00 PM
^Lol, I have friends that have been known to do pole tricks on street signs after a big night out *face palm*.
Hey that's definitely how my broke 19 year old ass learned my first few pole tricks! Miss those days sometimes, ohhhh the shenanigans :P
mia_fey
02-04-2014, 02:34 PM
When you write your shift goals on your bathroom mirror in lipstick.
When getting back on a pole after a year long break is just like riding a bicycle.
When paying for your entertainer license both sucks (it's expensive) and brings you joy at the same time (I'm coming back!)
audrey_k
02-04-2014, 02:54 PM
You pay for a $228 purchase in ones... YEP I DID IT! lol.
When it takes you 20 minutes to deposit $550 in the ATM machine because it's all in ones (don't ask, stupid customer paid me $800 in ones this weekend and thought it was adooooorable)
ScarletKitten
02-10-2014, 10:02 PM
When you wash your hands every time after handling money, and you never did before becoming a stripper.
When you start grinding your hips in a circular motion (without realizing it) every time your boyfriend spoons you in bed.
When you space out while other people around you are talking, because you're tired of listening to people chatting.
While you're spacing out, you're thinking of new dance moves, new hustle methods, new outfits, new shoes, and new music to dance to.
When the greatest feeling in the world does not come from sex or drugs.....but from counting a big, fat, huge pile of money at the end of a long shift! .....and then you wash your hands. ;)
Dancer_maria
02-11-2014, 12:05 AM
When you go out on a "real" date after a lunch shift and sit down on a cold seat and realize you still have that comfy thong on!!
When you go to tip in a restaurant and your "ones" look as bad as the "ones" the waitress has!!
When your Boss at a regular job wants a meeting but just bullshits and keeps staring at you.
When you cant stop walking with one foot exactly in front of the other....
arielbriel
02-11-2014, 02:15 AM
When your favorite hobby is counting, sorting, and piling your money.
blairish
04-07-2014, 06:35 PM
When you forget to take off your work jewelry and come home in jeans, t-shirt and bling. I do this ALL the time!! LOL
Aniela
04-07-2014, 06:50 PM
When you are on your way home at nite, even from a vanilla job or other 'straight' venue & see the same pair of headlights following you for more than two turns, you immediately get suspicious & alter your route.
wednesday86
04-09-2014, 05:40 AM
When you run all your errands in PJs/yoga pants/sweatshirt/ponytail/no makeup and don't give a fuck. I looked hot all night for work and I just want to be comfortable damnit!
carolina6
04-09-2014, 06:21 AM
When you are running on the treadmill and listening to a great song that you would dance on stage to, and you almost fall off the treadmill because you start moving differently.
When you have to constantly filter your real life conversations because no topic embarrasses you, but other people would feel really awkward if you said what you were thinking.
Selina M
04-09-2014, 10:54 AM
When you forget you're not in the dressing room, and hike up your dress to adjust your thong, in the bathroom of a bar... and don't realize what you're doing until a civilian girl comes in
When you're out with a friend (who knows what you do) and his friend (who doesn't) and you both keep alluding to your job... and his friend looks extremely confused but seems afraid to ask!
Aniela
04-09-2014, 11:34 AM
When you have to constantly filter your real life conversations because no topic embarrasses you, but other people would feel really awkward if you said what you were thinking.
Was having one of these ^^^^ at the recruiter's office last wk, but sm things ... let's just say they got thru the filter. :blush:
simone87
04-09-2014, 06:13 PM
when you hear your friends talk about going to strip clubs but not getting any dances, and you give them some very heated lectures about why that's just an asshole thing to do!
when you walk out on your porch naked like its no big thing, just cause you're so used to nudity. ( not sure if i've added that one before, but it actually happened to me * face palm*)
tempest666
04-10-2014, 03:39 AM
Your pet alligator has a $100 leather pet carrier. You walk into the Petco to buy assorted reptile supplies in piles of mangled bills of various denominations.
HustlaBustla
04-10-2014, 04:07 AM
tried sending you a chat message :) Im thinking I didn't do it correctly.
blairish
04-11-2014, 01:49 AM
I have to add one more, I just did it this past weekend. Worked four days in a row, by Sunday I was beat. Got home, removed makeup, took out clip-ins, showered (with shower cap to protect the tape extensions), ate, crashed. Looking forward to my three days off.
Tuesday, I'm in Barnes and Noble, delving into some book about the Paleo diet, absentmindedly twisting my hair. I'm like ... wait ... what's that? OMG, I forgot to take out one of my clip-ins! So I start poking around on my scalp (thankfully it was pretty dead at B&N, lol) and lo and behold, I found another one! I ALWAYS take them all out. Apparently now, you know you're a stripper when you forget to take out some of your clip-ins and don't even notice!
cleopatra216
04-11-2014, 12:29 PM
You're always on stripper web;D
Aniela
04-11-2014, 03:43 PM
Trying to flatten out all those notes for atm deposit at 3am, you start to think seriously abt ironing them first.
audrey_k
04-11-2014, 04:38 PM
You have to seriously think about your name everytime asked...
Aniela
04-11-2014, 07:31 PM
You become super anal abt emptying the washer/dryer promptly so your roommates (or landlords, in my case) don't find your work stuff.
Trixia
04-12-2014, 02:31 PM
When going in at 8pm seems really and it's 2pm and u just wanna sleep.
AlenaRoza
04-12-2014, 03:11 PM
..when your SO hates when you wear shorts in public because your legs are bruised from stage and he doesn't want people to think he's abusing you
MISS_TENAY
04-12-2014, 05:11 PM
when you go to cvs after work to get razors and tell the cashier to "have a good night', and it's 7am :/
when you wash your hair multiple times and it still smells like cigarette smoke. I'm envious of you ladies that work at nonsmoking clubs
omg soo true ooh and i hate when they smoke cigars ughhh worst lingering smell ever and way harder to wash out!!!
whirlerz
04-12-2014, 05:40 PM
omg soo true ooh and i hate when they smoke cigars ughhh worst lingering smell ever and way harder to wash out!!!
How about dry shampoo? I used to come home smelling like an ash tray also, I washed my hair daily. Now it's so dry, I wouldn't want to do that. I find the dry shampoo gives some volume too
simone87
04-12-2014, 06:29 PM
wow i didn't think there was a place in the entire country where you could smoke inside anymore!! i used to always hear " smoking or non?" as a kid..haven't heard that in around 15 years.
Brandi_Lynn
04-20-2014, 05:34 AM
When you go to use the lou @ breakfast after work & find sequins stuck on ur genitals. Lol! :-)
zivlet
04-20-2014, 06:45 AM
Trying to flatten out all those notes for atm deposit at 3am, you start to think seriously abt ironing them first.
Lol I iron mine with hair straighteners!
When you scrub yourself in the strippy room 'cause some arsehole sucked his finger then tried to touch your genitals. Ugh! I didn't see what he was doing as was facing away and when I turned round he had his finger there and touched just the top part of it with his salivery finger yuck yuck yuck. I freaked out and ran off and scrubbed myself, convicned I've caught something-I know It's over paranoid but I'm so anal about that sort of stuff!
Aniela
04-20-2014, 11:42 AM
Lol I iron mine with hair straighteners!
When you scrub yourself in the strippy room 'cause some arsehole sucked his finger then tried to touch your genitals. Ugh! I didn't see what he was doing as was facing away and when I turned round he had his finger there and touched just the top part of it with his salivery finger yuck yuck yuck. I freaked out and ran off and scrubbed myself, convicned I've caught something-I know It's over paranoid but I'm so anal about that sort of stuff!
I hope you gave him a resounding slap across the face b4 you ran off ...
SexyForMe17
04-21-2014, 02:14 AM
Let's see...you know you're a stripper when you hear a good song and start doing the booty clap in a public place. You know you're a stripper when you need something big, instead of thinking of insurance or a 401 K you think about what you have to wear to go meet a sugar daddy.
zivlet
04-21-2014, 04:50 AM
I hope you gave him a resounding slap across the face b4 you ran off ...
I kicked him and got him thrown out lol.
It grosses me out, It's happened to me before where I catch them sucking their ****ing manky fingers-WHY do they think you'll want them to finger you. Grrrr
BarbieNYC
04-21-2014, 11:28 AM
Let's see...you know you're a stripper when you hear a good song and start doing the booty clap in a public place.
lol I know this all too well. Good ass clapping/twerking music is hard to ignore. lol
hellkitty
04-22-2014, 10:21 AM
When clubbing no longer seems worth the effort.
When money is always on your mind.
SexyForMe17
04-23-2014, 01:27 AM
Yes! Very true! Forget you have all that make up on!
SexyForMe17
04-23-2014, 01:28 AM
Yeah, Florida is all non smoking and I heard Michigan has become that way.
SexyForMe17
04-23-2014, 01:29 AM
I agree! I do that all the time! And it is usually razors too! Lol cuz I know I am going to shower and remembered just in time that I am out.
SexyForMe17
04-23-2014, 01:31 AM
Yeah! Or when you start looking at everyone in a regular club as to how much money they have/would spend if they were a customer. Or if they would be a good potential customer.
SexyForMe17
04-23-2014, 01:34 AM
Or when you hear the word sugar daddy and automatically wonder which strip club the guy "rescued" his girlfriend from.
kaninchen
04-25-2014, 12:41 PM
When you develop the habit of making almost everything a graceful floor work move and are constantly busting out random hair flips.
As in, you're lying in the grass on campus and when you go to stand up, you roll onto all fours with one of your legs pointed up. Or you bend over at the waist to re-rack a weight at the gym, straighten out with one hand caressing your hip, and flick your ponytail.
You bump into people on accident in public, then you squeeze their shoulders and purr, "Oh, excuse me, sexy!"
Your expression can go from wrathful death glare to sugary sweet sex goddess instantly and automatically.
Trixia
04-25-2014, 03:17 PM
Haha love that. Nothing like calling your vanilla co worker baby doll, much to his confused stare
Warped
05-16-2014, 12:58 AM
Yeah, Florida is all non smoking and I heard Michigan has become that way.
Florida is not all non-smoking. I have been working in Palm Beach County and Fort Lauderdale for the past ten years, all of the clubs allow smoking. Smoking is allowed in bars based on food sales. So if food is a small enough percentage it is allowed and most of our clubs sales are alcohol.
Aniela
05-24-2014, 07:44 PM
Out at a regular bar, when you see the guy at the nxt table w/ his phone up your first thought is 'Oh shit is he recording!?'
audrey_k
05-25-2014, 04:30 PM
When you develop the habit of making almost everything a graceful floor work move and are constantly busting out random hair flips.
As in, you're lying in the grass on campus and when you go to stand up, you roll onto all fours with one of your legs pointed up. Or you bend over at the waist to re-rack a weight at the gym, straighten out with one hand caressing your hip, and flick your ponytail.
You bump into people on accident in public, then you squeeze their shoulders and purr, "Oh, excuse me, sexy!"
Your expression can go from wrathful death glare to sugary sweet sex goddess instantly and automatically.
This is so me on the tube. There are poles all down the carriages and quite a bit of space around them, it kind of looks like a small stage! Whenever I have my music on and am holding onto one of the cause there's no seats I find myself doing stripper moves and getting really strange looks from people...
Trixia
05-25-2014, 05:02 PM
Haha. When every pole you come across becomes a battle with your inner stripper to not get up on it in front of your co-workers, friends, strangers, whoever who don't know your night job.
sexsells
05-26-2014, 11:21 AM
When you don't know wether or not to use your day cream moisturiser at night or the night cream during the day.
audrey_k
05-27-2014, 02:58 PM
When you have to make shopping lists for the pharmacy so you know what to buy, and your list looks like this:
fake eyelashes
eyelash glue
baby wipes (buy 2 packs the yellow ones)
travel sized deodorant
anti bloat pills (the ones in the blue box)
body spray (not vanilla)
travel sized toothpaste
one of those packs with like 10 things of gum
travel size hairspray (buy 2)
I always get the same guy at Boots and he totally knows I'm a stripper. So did the guy at my CVS in LA, I mean who else buys a bottle of Fireball whiskey/pack of wine coolers and fake eyelashes EVER other day?
kaninchen
05-29-2014, 11:59 AM
^^ What are anti-bloat pills?!?! How do they work? Do I need them? The people at my CVS always greet me with, "Hello Miss Bartender!"
Also:
… When you're totally cool with browsing g-strings on Yandy in the middle of a crowded lecture. Sorry awkward nerdy dude next to me!
audrey_k
05-29-2014, 02:50 PM
^They're designed to help with bloating during your period but I just take them all the time. Those and cranberry pills so I smell nice down there are my stripper vitamins, lol.
audrey_k
05-29-2014, 03:36 PM
When your friend posts a picture of her on her bf's new boat and everyone is oohing and aaahing over the boat and your comment is "have you been working out? your abs look awesome." I spend WAY too much time looking/obsessing over mine and other woman's bodies....