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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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KikiGem
06-03-2014, 08:14 PM
When a well-meaning construction worker tells you to "Smile" and you want to pull out a machine gun and go crazy.

When you shave the calluses off your toes and heels then go to town with a pumice stone because you *refuse* to be the stripper with the nasty looking feet.

When every inch of your body is shaved at all times. Every. Fucking. Inch.

When nothing embarrasses you anymore. Not your dress blowing up in the wind, carrying 20 thongs around Wal-Mart while you decide which one is best. In fact if legal troubles were out of the question you would probably enjoy going streaking every once in a while.

When most of your wardrobe consists of dancer attire and stupidly high heels.

When most of the people you text are customers.

audrey_k
06-03-2014, 08:29 PM
^I used to wear heels all the time, now I don't wear them unless I'm getting paid. ;) I would have to be going out on a date with Jared Leto (the 90s version) for me to be willing to strap my feet into heels outside of work!

kaninchen
06-04-2014, 11:18 AM
^I used to wear heels all the time, now I don't wear them unless I'm getting paid.

On that note: You see girls on campus wearing stilettos, Daisy Dukes, and crop tops, with their hair and make-up completely done, and you think, "Giiirl, you're not even getting paid for this!"

audrey_k
06-06-2014, 10:31 PM
When you say 'good night' at 6:30am to the receptionist at the b&b you're staying at for travel dancing and she just awkwardly hangs up...

lynn2009
06-07-2014, 05:23 PM
when you go through a period where you aren't working & are single and you half struggle to go to the gym because no one's going to see anyway

kaninchen
06-12-2014, 04:33 PM
When it's laundry day and your last pair of clean underwear is a neon leopard print side-tie y-back.

Andygirl
06-12-2014, 11:31 PM
When you change outfits without taking your shoes off, lol.

Aniela
06-12-2014, 11:36 PM
When you change outfits without taking your shoes off, lol.

Hehe my bf has commented on that very action. I'll be slipping out of a dressy pair of pants & into jeans & he gets that snarky look & says 'So do you wobble around that much when you're getting dressed in your stripper shoes?'

sandyb
06-14-2014, 04:41 AM
I definately check out girls more than guys to the point where a guy I was seeing thought I was bisexual
I pay for almost everything cash
the only time I care about my appearance is at work
In public I am always thinking I see a custy of mine
In public all men look like potential custys
When a random guy talks to me in the real world I have to keep reminding myself that he is not a custy so try not to flirt with him
I dont really feel like clubbing any more cuz work is clubbing

kaninchen
06-16-2014, 11:01 AM
Having an ingrown hair on your butt is a legit reason to call in sick to work.

audrey_k
06-16-2014, 05:46 PM
When you spend more at the pharmacy than you do at the grocery store.

Seriously it's ridiculous how much of my money goes to the Superdrug here... it's like there's always some product I need.

Trixia
06-18-2014, 02:59 AM
You find $100 bill in your purse and you can't remember who gave it to you.

kaninchen
06-18-2014, 01:10 PM
You find $100 bill in your purse and you can't remember who gave it to you.

I just found $237 rubber banded in a plastic shopping bag that I was about to throw away! I have no idea when or where I earned it.

lynn2009
06-30-2014, 04:14 PM
When it's a million degrees outside & you wish you could be naked all of the time

spartaca
06-30-2014, 06:35 PM
When you're hostessing in a regular bar and you let a group of 12 guys in thinking "That's £300!" then get shouted at by the manager for letting in a big bunch of guys and you remember "Oh yeah, this isn't a strip club, i ain't making shit outta them :("

lovelydancer
06-30-2014, 07:45 PM
When you go to the beach and have to check to make sure your tits aren't out of your bikini top (since obviously it isn't a big deal at work if a nip slip happens, lol).

kaninchen
07-03-2014, 02:57 PM
You forget your PIN, because why would you ever need to withdraw cash?

mia_fey
07-12-2014, 06:10 PM
^^I went for a solid year without a debit card because all I had was cash lol.

Apryl
07-23-2014, 06:47 PM
When you have to hide your stripper heels from your family members
- when you pay the cashier with one dollar bills
- when you can save a large amount of money in no time
- when you start dancing to whatever is playing on the radio
- when your bedtime is when the sun comes up

Aniela
07-24-2014, 01:58 AM
You fall asleep infinitely more easily in a well-curtained room in the middle of the day than you do in a perfectly darkened bedroom at nite. Struggling w/ this, literally right now.

arielbriel
07-24-2014, 02:04 AM
^Black out curtains are a must.

Trixia
07-24-2014, 07:45 AM
When the most important decision when picking a new place to live is making sure there is enough room for your pole in the living room!

HallelujahHopkins
07-24-2014, 11:49 AM
When you go to a bar and instead of politely disagreeing with the asshole mouthing off about how recycling is a scam, you loudly tell him he's fucking ignorant and proceed to cite current statistics. Because fuck sugarcoating to support the belligerent male ego.

When you get the mentality "Not my customer" and when someone on the street says "Smile", you say "Oh, is my face offensive to you?"

When you go to a party and women use the word 'stripper' to describe someone as a lower echelon of society, i.e. "She was so trashy, I swear to god she was probably a *gasp* Stripper!" and then seeing the look on their faces after they ask what you do for a living, and the long awkward backpedaling.

When you can't get through a TV show or movie without focusing on the soundtrack and wondering "should I dance to that?"

When you start calling the cat in from outside in your underwear without caring what the neighbours will think.

When you miss being taller than everyone and want to find a way to secretly wear 8" heels under pants or a long skirt.

When you hear female acquaintances daring each other to get drunk and go to the club like it's so hardcore and they're sooo risqué and you just roll your eyes and think about how you'd hate them as customers.

When you're considering going on a "Gin Diet" because you have so much free time during the day that you end up boredom eating and at least liquor is a low calorie oral fixation that takes you a few hours to drink straight.

When you only shave above the knee. (Thigh highs at work)

Aniela
07-24-2014, 12:42 PM
^^^^ I still have the 'only shave above the knee' habit. Only now also a couple-inch margin above the ankles in case I have no socks on w/ my jeans.

Selina M
07-24-2014, 08:22 PM
When you forget to empty your dance bag into your laundry and have to hand wash your thongs... leaving them hanging all over the bathroom to dry. It looked like a segment of Oprah Giving (or whatever it's called); "YOU get a thong! YOU get a thong!"

Good thing I grabbed them all today before boyfriend had friends over }:D

SexedUpCat
07-24-2014, 10:28 PM
You practice yoga in your heels so you'll be able do some of the sexy flows in the club.

ImmoralAllure
07-25-2014, 01:15 AM
deleted

kissykins
07-27-2014, 04:06 PM
When you start calling the cat in from outside in your underwear without caring what the neighbours will think.
I do have some pretty lucky neighbours. The Other day boyscout came by 13ish I'd guess, I think he lives a could houses down from me. he was peddling something. I was dressed at the time but all he could do was blush and mumble and then he jogged away. It was adorable I'm guessing he's seen me run out to get the mail!

kaninchen
08-03-2014, 10:46 AM
You get mad because you made $990 and not $1k. Most people would feel so grateful to earn that, but all you can think is, "Ugh, if I had just gotten one more fucking tip/dance/stage/drink commission!"

22lligm
08-03-2014, 02:39 PM
When you take a picture with your non-stripper childhood friend and realize how different you two look!! My blonde highlights, super long extensions, fake eyelashes, fake tan and butt facing the camera }:D Which one's the stripper?

Your hair gets longer & blonder, you get tanner, your boobs get bigger.. you get hotter!

okay i'm done :D lol

lynn2009
09-16-2014, 08:22 AM
When you try to give a very kind stranger on the street who gave you directions $5.

xcatxbrownx
09-16-2014, 05:46 PM
When you take two weeks off work because you can.

wednesday86
09-16-2014, 06:27 PM
When you go grocery shopping and notice any and every man that looks at you (I was oblivious to this before) then feel annoyed because you can't hustle him and he's looking at you "for free."

misslovely88
09-18-2014, 03:22 AM
when you meet men socially outside work and you look good and they are just an average guy and they slow in buying you drinks or paying you compliments,just kinda playing cool trying to feel you out if they gonna get something back from you…makes me feel so disgusted,i think omg stick your drink up your stupid ass,i can buy my own so get lost,you not worthy of my companionship,pay me to tolerate you boring bastard lol

when you dont care if other people find you attractive in everyday life.i have a bunch of handsome neighbours.they almost never seen me with my make up on or hair done.because they dont tip so why should i try to impress hahahah lol

wednesday86
09-18-2014, 08:38 AM
^Or when you go out with Non-stripper girlfriends and they enjoy getting attention from men at the bar, where it just annoys you.
When a guy at a bar buys me a drink and I have to resist the urge to tell him to give me the change. (I do this at work all the time with guys who buy me drinks but won't get dances. lol)
When you've been forced to chat to dudes in a beer garden (again thanks to non-stripper friends enjoying male attention) and you think about all the money you could have made off them...
Basically all interactions with males other than your S.O. feel like a waste of time outside of work! Lol

wednesday86
09-18-2014, 08:41 AM
When you're getting dressed and you instinctively sniff your panties before you put them on.

PrincessWhooty
09-19-2014, 02:10 AM
When you can't take no for an answer!

ava$
09-19-2014, 09:11 AM
LMAO, wednesday86 and miss lovely88, I so feel the same! If I feel a man thinking if he can get something out of me for a drink, ugh it just disgusts me so bad and yes I am put in these positions from vanilla working friends too. I wonder why they love male attention so much, I guess I used to also but I just blamed it on my age..

azaleanola
09-19-2014, 10:01 PM
When you can't quite wrap your head around why some women wear makeup/do their hair/shave FOR FREE.

wednesday86
09-20-2014, 06:30 AM
When compliments become empty.

Some guy's like "you're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen!"
And I'm like, *YAWN* Like I haven't heard THAT 8,247 times before...

xStacey
09-20-2014, 08:51 AM
When you tip your personal trainer...

aperfectseal
09-23-2014, 12:44 PM
When you tip your personal trainer... I'm glad I'm not the only one! I always feel compelled to tip EVERYONE, I almost feel bad walking out of the dentist's office without leaving a tip.

kirakonstantin
09-23-2014, 05:56 PM
When some guy in 7 Eleven tries to chat you up and you end up convincing him to pay for your Rockstar and a pack of cigarettes.

When you look in the mirror sans makeup and... it just looks weird.

Selina M
09-24-2014, 10:37 AM
I'm glad I'm not the only one! I always feel compelled to tip EVERYONE, I almost feel bad walking out of the dentist's office without leaving a tip.

Hahahaha, yesterday at a coffee shop my bf (who is a bartender, so also relies on tips) insisted on tipping this girl for bringing him a rag to clean a spill. She was so confused and just went "Ummm, thank you?"


When part of the reason you don't go to work is because you hate the DJ who works that day.

Danni
09-24-2014, 01:23 PM
When your friends ask you what your doing that night and you say "I'm not sure, I haven't decided if I feel like working yet or not."

You don't go to bars or clubs because if your getting all done up and staying out late you might as well go to work and make money.

The distinct smell of eau de strip club in your hair/clothes when you get home. Unique blend of perfumes, lotions, sweat and smoke.

One night of work requires a recovery day.

augustATL
10-26-2014, 08:09 AM
when you say things like "ugh i ONLY made $300"

Prettyglitter
10-26-2014, 01:19 PM
When you'd rather wear stripper heels than regular heels because they have way more support and comfort.

LexiConn
10-26-2014, 03:42 PM
When you can sprint on carpet in 8" heels with a hearty buzz and not even stumble

lynn2009
10-30-2014, 03:25 AM
When you're bored at the airport and you have to stop yourself from approaching all the men in suits

Odette
11-06-2014, 03:12 PM
When you go to a party after work and are out in the backyard smoking a bong with some cool people, realise your hair extensions are poking you, and promptly remove them and throw them in your purse amid confused stares. To which you answer "yeah sorry, I can only manage long hair for 8 hours a day max. too annoying."