View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
tempest666
11-07-2014, 06:49 AM
When you're getting fucked by your boyfriend in a luxury suite with mirrored ceilings and all you can think is "Damn I hate the way my belly fat jiggles at this angle!"
xStacey
11-07-2014, 08:05 AM
When you go to a party after work and are out in the backyard smoking a bong with some cool people, realise your hair extensions are poking you, and promptly remove them and throw them in your purse amid confused stares. To which you answer "yeah sorry, I can only manage long hair for 8 hours a day max. too annoying."
LOL I have the bad habit of doing that during sex. My hair is always tied up in my everyday life, I only wear my hair extensions to work and on dates. When I get home I just want to remove them right away but I like the way I think I look during foreplay with my hair extensions. I hate how long hair get in the way during sex and the idea of getting them all sweaty and tangled with all the action so before intercourse I always tell my partner hm wait a min I gotta remove my hair extensions and throw them on the nightstand. Girls always think i'm wierd when I tell them that but the guys never complained...
SuperJa
11-08-2014, 11:40 PM
When you take time off and you're excited to have body hair for a few days. Forgot what that looks like.
Aslinn
11-11-2014, 08:03 AM
When you want to dye your hair but don't know if that will be profitable or not.
Aniela
11-11-2014, 11:41 AM
When your dog comes up to sniff your bum & you give a little flex/clap/twerk just to mess w/ her.
HallelujahHopkins
11-11-2014, 01:00 PM
When losing your underwear is an occupational hazard- and your bosses don't think twice about you asking if anyone's seen it.
Warped
11-15-2014, 04:23 PM
when you say things like "ugh i ONLY made $300"
Lol I literally just posted in the "my last shift thread" bitching about my slowest night this year (walked with $280). I guess I shouldn't really complain but I feel like it was a waste if a night!
Odette
11-16-2014, 01:09 PM
When way too many of your contacts in your phone are in the format "name/name name of club"
lynn2009
11-22-2014, 07:04 AM
When your apartment requires parent-proofing
Selina M
12-12-2014, 10:47 PM
You get pulled over for expired tags, and instead of being mad about paying the actual fine... you're just mad that you couldn't hustle the cop out of it.
I literally was going "I KNOW his TYPE. If I had him for 15 minutes, I could have gotten out of it" the whole way home.
Flickdreams
12-14-2014, 01:00 AM
... your feet are all sorts of wrong (even when they get lots of care).
... you own multiple heat styling tools for hair.
... you have to edit the sexy out of your real world conversations.
... you see the world in terms of stripper fat vs realworld fat.
Selina M
01-03-2015, 05:36 PM
You get annoyed and call an unfamiliar girl names in your head when she takes your spot in the dressing room.
skripper
01-03-2015, 06:47 PM
Your vanilla friends can't compete with your bank roll OR your sex appeal.
Graci
01-04-2015, 03:10 PM
You go out drinking with your cousin, and realize halfway through the night he's giving you a funny look because you've been hustling his friends for drinks without even realizing it. Oops.
Graci
01-09-2015, 10:00 PM
You get to work, start to get changed, and a coworker tells you there are fake lashes stuck to your ass.
kaninchen
01-09-2015, 10:10 PM
^ Or when you scream in terror at the hideous baby tarantula on your bathroom floor only to realize it's the eyelash you lost.
Odette
01-14-2015, 10:27 AM
When you need to sneakily hide your time sheet from your "other" job in your purse to throw out later and fill out a new one because you accidentally wrote the wrong name on it... But are thankful you caught it before having to have a very awkward conversation with your boss...
charlie61
01-14-2015, 11:16 AM
...When you casually wonder if you'll need a knee replacement sometime in the next ten years.
DollHouse
01-17-2015, 08:56 AM
if you can't find a hair tie that garter left in your pocket book works just as well
I have used one of my freshly laundered thongs to tie my hair up on several occasions in the club and at my vanilla job as well.
lynn2009
01-24-2015, 07:04 AM
When you are childless but still want a baby wipes warmer because makeup removal is always a cold and unpleasant experience.
LexiConn
01-26-2015, 04:24 AM
When you stop at the 24 hour coffee joint after your shift and automatically flirt shamelessly at the coffee boy only to snap to and realize he's taking it way too seriously and you're still in stripper mode
he totally filled my stamp card though
SassySecretKey
01-27-2015, 02:35 PM
You know your a stripper when you wake up in the middle of the night at home thinking your in the middle of giving a lapdance ;p I been working to many nights
OliveJardin
01-29-2015, 12:06 AM
You know you're a stripper when...you pay for your BA in cash and the receptionist exclaims as she counts, "Ewww, it's all sticky" :O.
whirlerz
01-29-2015, 08:37 AM
You know you're a stripper when...you pay for your BA in cash and the receptionist exclaims as she counts, "Ewww, it's all sticky" :O.
Money's money b*, she needs to just take it & STFU!^
Aniela
01-29-2015, 08:56 AM
The forced-handjob & forced after-dinner sex scenes in Wedding Crashers turn your stomach bc you've been 'that guy' who got violated & then blown-off bc of the so-called hotness factor.
Songs like 'Am I Wrong' get on your nerves bc they sound more like anthems of entitlement than innocent 'Let's see where this goes' suggestions.
I know these are kinda dark but Īve been stewing over them for awhile.
xStacey
01-29-2015, 09:48 AM
You know you're a stripper when...you pay for your BA in cash and the receptionist exclaims as she counts, "Ewww, it's all sticky" :O.
I wanted to pay for my tuition in cash but my uni only accepts check or debit :(
kaninchen
01-29-2015, 10:17 AM
^ Mine accepts cash but I've always paid by check. The due date for my last bill is coming up though, and I'm sorely tempted to hand over $5k in twenties!
xStacey
01-29-2015, 08:33 PM
^ Mine accepts cash but I've always paid by check. The due date for my last bill is coming up though, and I'm sorely tempted to hand over $5k in twenties!
Do it!
charlie61
01-30-2015, 09:46 AM
Just remember, tuition is now tracked by the IRS (similarly to how car purchases and whatnot are tracked).
xStacey
01-30-2015, 10:15 AM
I am aware :)
It's just so much more convenient paying in cash rather than having to walk to the bank, make the deposit, write a check, send the check, wait for the school to receive it... When I could just go directly to the school after class and pay the full amount in cash.
I also hate going to the bank so I like to wait and go once every few weeks now that I don't work as often. I don't have much money in my checking account and I avoid transactions with my debit card because I would have to withdraw from my savings account and a transaction is very expensive!
sessik86
02-23-2015, 03:05 AM
I buy douches by the cart full. Almost where i contemplated buying them online. (people say they are bad but i have had no problems)
GirlDelux
03-17-2015, 09:15 AM
When your tired of being a stripper. Lol.
kaninchen
03-17-2015, 11:00 AM
You find yourself thinking, "Hey, I have the same thong!" or, "Ooh, I bet those shoes would make me so much money" when you watch porn.
GlitterBexie
03-21-2015, 07:53 PM
When you move house and save so you can have a few months off after the move and nobody can understand how you're managing money.
When you then go back to do a shift in a new club and silently have a hair funeral when shaving after fanuary and febuhairy. Im breezy down there now and sad about it lol, had to leave a landing strip just to remind me of the good times of no shaving!
GlitterBexie
03-21-2015, 07:54 PM
When you move house and save money so you can have a few months off after the move and nobody can understand how you're managing money.
When you then go back to do a shift in a new club and silently have a hair funeral when shaving after fanuary and febuhairy. Im breezy down there now and sad about it lol, had to leave a landing strip just to remind me of the good times of no shaving!
charlie61
03-21-2015, 08:01 PM
When you never stop identifying as being a stripper, no matter how long it's been since your last shift.
Flickdreams
03-21-2015, 11:08 PM
^ Im moving house too! had a month off so far (did my first private party last night, only 2hours).
charlie61
03-22-2015, 04:57 PM
When you have at least one shelf dedicated to sex worker books.
lynn2009
03-29-2015, 06:14 PM
you know youre not a stripper anymore when two glasses of wine make you drunk
Disclaimer: I realize not everyone (re: smart girls) drinks at work. This is only pertaining to me.
kaninchen
03-29-2015, 06:52 PM
When you're so burnt out that the home pole you were once so excited about is now just used for tying up kitty toys.
Odette
03-30-2015, 02:14 PM
When you are constantly using anecdotes from the club when it comes to making vanilla business decisions... such as telling your lazy business partners that if they were baby strippers you would be giving them shit for sitting on their asses at the bar with time wasters drinking free shots instead of hustling trying to find those whales.
baer45
03-30-2015, 03:08 PM
When you see a stack of dollars and you immediately think about...
NightGoddess
03-30-2015, 03:39 PM
When you wink at your cashier at Walmart and call them "boo".
Selina M
03-30-2015, 04:12 PM
When you say things like "oh I popped into work for an hour" and pull a $100 bill out of your work purse.
#thingsthatmakebfjealous
crystalize
04-05-2015, 06:06 PM
When the girl at your local stripper store goes "look at these shoes and we have them in 9" when you enter the store. (She remembers my size, I felt flattered lol)
Southernpassion
04-05-2015, 06:12 PM
When you move house and save money so you can have a few months off after the move and nobody can understand how you're managing money.
When you then go back to do a shift in a new club and silently have a hair funeral when shaving after fanuary and febuhairy. Im breezy down there now and sad about it lol, had to leave a landing strip just to remind me of the good times of no shaving!
LOL I died
Selina M
04-06-2015, 12:05 PM
Whenever your bf complains about his job or the customers, your solutions are not exactly viable... because whenever anyone annoys YOU at work, you either cuss them out or walk away, and if your club sucks, you quit without notice and find a new one the next day.
JessRyan
04-06-2015, 08:58 PM
When your feet feel BETTER in high heels!
miss.a.p1600
04-07-2015, 08:50 AM
You develop really good peripheral vision (perfect for covert wallet / bankroll checks) and
[email protected] near have eyes in the back of your head (perfect for defensive dancing).
Flickdreams
04-08-2015, 06:23 AM
You develop really good peripheral vision (perfect for covert wallet / bankroll checks) and
[email protected] near have eyes in the back of your head (perfect for defensive dancing).
This....http://media4.onsugar.com/files/2013/09/27/947/n/1922283/bb9eb71d02ddc5ff_Excorcist2.gif