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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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charlie61
04-08-2015, 11:09 AM
When you overhear 'civilian' girls giggling about their 'scandalous' parties (where they kissed another girl! on a dare!), and you're having flashbacks to work where you spent half the night feeling up your coworkers for cash.

LadyJezebel
04-08-2015, 12:55 PM
When an old party dress shrinks in the wash and you're not even mad-- it just became perfect for the club!!

Legz541
04-18-2015, 01:18 AM
Although none of your outfits have sequins it's totally normal to find one stuck to your leg when you get home from work.

You've mistaken a renegade lash for a giant spider at least once.

carmen_b
04-18-2015, 11:24 PM
When you are at a concert at a well known artist with great seats but it's approching 10:30 and you think " man , if this doesn't wrap up I want at least $20 a song past 10:30!"

( I hate being up late but I made it through haha )

zoezoebelle
04-23-2015, 02:43 PM
When you start to think of walking in 4 inch heels as "casual dress."

kaninchen
04-23-2015, 03:09 PM
When you start to think of walking in 4 inch heels as "casual dress."

Haha! Or when you see a chick trying to walk around in 4 inch heels, totally struggling, and you just roll your eyes at her ineptitude. I always think, "What are you, a baby?! Learn to walk bitch!"

zoezoebelle
04-23-2015, 03:58 PM
Haha! Or when you see a chick trying to walk around in 4 inch heels, totally struggling, and you just roll your eyes at her ineptitude. I always think, "What are you, a baby?! Learn to walk bitch!"

Haha yes! Yesterday my friend was watching some dumb chick struggling in 4 inch heels and she said, "Damn, don't try to walk in those things!" I was like, "That's nothing. Try 6 inch ones." Now I'm getting nostalgia thinking back to my first pair of 1-inch heels when I was 14 and how hard I struggled tripping all over myself. x3

hollywood6
04-27-2015, 11:16 PM
You find yourself putting foundation on your buttcheek just to cover up a bug bite.

You have a permanent callus on the inside of your palm.

charlie61
05-07-2015, 07:26 PM
Two hours before shift: Hair frizzy, no makeup, belly pooched out, tank top with sports bra and gym pants, haven't shaved in a week, granny panties, nails look like a five-year old did them, Netflix, chowing down a bowl of something.

Thirty minutes before shift: Goddess.

zoezoebelle
05-07-2015, 09:48 PM
When you find yourself automatically ogling the bald, 55+ year old man in slacks walking down the street, and completely ignore the hot 20 year old guy in jeans right next to him.

Legz541
05-07-2015, 11:33 PM
Happened today:
When you're doing laundry and find $200...most people are excited to find a twenty

xStacey
05-08-2015, 07:55 AM
Happened today:
When you're doing laundry and find $200...most people are excited to find a twenty

Yeah happens to me too! Finding a couple of hundreds when I open an old book, once I found $500 in a purse and it's been there for weeks, couldn't believe I was just throwing the purse around and leaving it without surveillance.

MelissaRenee
05-08-2015, 05:16 PM
When you're on the train and see a guy looking at you and your first thought is "Oh, I'm going to go over and see if he wants a dance!"

When you hear one of the songs you dance to in public and can't help but start dancing a little bit or getting all excited and telling the person you're with "THIS IS MY STRIPPER SONG!"

When you haven't had sex with someone for months and when you do, you find yourself groping your boobs in a matter that more resembles a lap dance.

When you take cabs everywhere, even if it's just to the grocery store.

buttonpop
05-08-2015, 07:48 PM
When you haven't had sex with someone for months and when you do, you find yourself groping your boobs in a matter that more resembles a lap dance.
this made me crack the fuck up

i almost did the boobs-->face thing with a guy i was seeing... my boobs were eye level to him, so i pushed em together with my arms and damn near rubbed them on his face out of instinct before I realized what I was doing.
then tried to cover my tracks and pretend thats not what i was about to do.

charlie61
05-08-2015, 08:36 PM
Customer at work: Woah, you're so gorgeous! You have the best tits I've ever seen!
Me: Cool, yeah, thanks... -_-

Dancer at work: Woah, you're so gorgeous! You have the best tits I've ever seen!
Me: OMG REALLY?!! Do you think so?!! Thank you soooo much!!!

xStacey
05-09-2015, 10:56 AM
When you go out and your civilian friends (or your date) tell you : whoa people keep looking at you!! And you reply : really? I didn't notice anything.

Aniela
05-09-2015, 04:39 PM
During bootcamp PT, hearing Chief yell at a male in your unit to tuck his string [drawstring workout shorts] sends you into a giggling fit.

tempest666
05-09-2015, 07:57 PM
When you wander outside talking to a fellow SW member about the time they overheard you having loud sex with your boyfriend, oblivious to the elderly neighbours next door. Whoops!

BarbieNYC
05-10-2015, 09:53 AM
When your dog rolls around in your money pile. And then runs away when you make it rain on her.

kaninchen
05-10-2015, 10:06 AM
Finding a couple of hundreds when I open an old book

Haha, love this! I can never find bookmarks but I can always find a bill. Whenever I return books to the library I always have to shake them out in case I left $20s in them!

milani666
05-11-2015, 12:26 PM
When you notice the stripper knuckle on your toes xD

charlie61
05-11-2015, 09:15 PM
You order $100's worth of stripper clothes online, and the 'package' you receive in the mail is a small envelope. Stripper clothes are so tiny!

kaninchen
05-11-2015, 10:50 PM
You see a McLaren in a parking lot, and you seriously consider waiting for the owner so you can somehow get him to come to the club and give you $$$$.

xStacey
05-20-2015, 02:31 PM
When shopping for work clothes is really fun!

Glamourmilf
05-20-2015, 02:51 PM
When You pay for everything with one's, tens, and twenties!

Aniela
05-24-2015, 07:39 AM
When you still cringe on the inside when a customer at your vanilla job tells you he's from Houston or Detroit.

Nina_
05-24-2015, 11:38 AM
...you're out on the town getting food and drinks and can't tell if the guy staring at you is just hardcore checking you out, or if he remembers seeing you at the club.

miss.a.p1600
05-24-2015, 06:21 PM
...you're out on the town getting food and drinks and can't tell if the guy staring at you is just hardcore checking you out, or if he remembers seeing you at the club.

OMG! I wonder this sh*t ALL the time. Everywhere I go, Like [email protected] I hope this motherf*cker don't remember me from the club.

Neonsugar
05-24-2015, 07:21 PM
Your leg looks like this.
41732

charlie61
05-24-2015, 08:03 PM
Your leg looks like this.

Yesss...so accurate!! Like 25% of the reason why I can't work multiple days in a row is because of the bruises I acquire during a single shift.

crystalize
05-25-2015, 06:28 PM
OMG! I wonder this sh*t ALL the time. Everywhere I go, Like [email protected] I hope this motherf*cker don't remember me from the club.

THIS. ALWAYS. At the mall too

crystalize
05-25-2015, 06:31 PM
OMG! I wonder this sh*t ALL the time. Everywhere I go, Like [email protected] I hope this motherf*cker don't remember me from the club.

THIS. ALWAYS. At the mall too

zoezoebelle
05-25-2015, 10:28 PM
Uhhg. I got shaving bumps for the first time in my life and realised that shaving over them was just making them worse! >.> Going to have to put on some thick stockings and pray they don't fall down to reveal my week of extreme Jewish leg hair growth. Between that and the bruises I can't ever wear dresses!

Nina_
05-26-2015, 05:45 AM
H
OMG! I wonder this sh*t ALL the time. Everywhere I go, Like [email protected] I hope this motherf*cker don't remember me from the club.

Right! I was out to eat at this trendy bar with my mom the other day and this guy was checking me out so much, like his eyes were glued to me. When he left my mom's like "damn he couldn't stop checking you out!" I was like yeah it was kind of weird that he was staring THAT much (does he have any self-awareness at all?)... then I started wondering if he was staring so hard 'cause he remembered me! ahh!

Prettyglitter
06-01-2015, 07:34 AM
Going to a strip club on your day off is considered giving back to community.
When you hate going out to regular bars and clubs because guys hitting on you for free disgusts you.

zoezoebelle
06-01-2015, 11:42 AM
When it's really hot out, and you think to yourself, "I only have 3 really dark bruises on my lower legs; I think I can get away with a dress."

Flickdreams
06-02-2015, 11:37 PM
^ I counter with;
when I get a dark bruise on my bum and its upsetting because unlike working a 9-5 job, everyone is going to see that bruise and its in one of the first places that people will be looking! ....... stupid bed frame which I keep running into in the dark!

tempest666
06-03-2015, 01:46 AM
You're posting on a thread about BA's while at the gym and start involuntarily squeezing your own enhancements, much to the shock of the pensioner on the elliptical nearby. Whoops.

Dakota Pink
06-03-2015, 08:10 PM
When the only thing that has gotten me away from my Netfilx Sons of Anarchy binge is SW and rereading old posts and this OT

MelissaRenee
06-03-2015, 10:01 PM
When you sprain your foot and are completely helpless in terms of not being able to work -.-

Bad_Wolf
06-03-2015, 11:23 PM
THIS. ALWAYS. At the mall too

I still have a vanilla job at the mall 2 days a week and LEMME TELL YOU, the awkward looks are so real. I have blue ass hair so I stand out of a crowd big time. The looks. They know, I know, they're trying to pull their wife out of my store so fast, it's hilarious.

reginanew
06-04-2015, 10:13 AM
YOUR ROOMATE knows you're a stripper when:

1. You accidentally leave your handwashed g-strings hanging up to dry in the bathroom. Ya know, the blinged out variety.
2. You are always carrying a huge duffel bag with you to work at your "bartending" job.
3. You come home with rubber bands around your ankle because you forgot to take them off at the end of your shift.

Oops...

Likethis
06-04-2015, 01:35 PM
You know you're a stripper when people around you talk about how they're taking pole dance lessons at a studio as if it's so very naughty, controversial and sexy and so on and you can't help rolling your eyes.

Sansa
06-08-2015, 09:40 AM
You know you're a stripper when people around you talk about how they're taking pole dance lessons at a studio as if it's so very naughty, controversial and sexy and so on and you can't help rolling your eyes.

You go to said pole dancing class and listen to a bunch of girls defending themselves, righteously saying it's not a "stripper" class. It is for me...

Sansa
06-08-2015, 09:41 AM
You know you're a stripper when people around you talk about how they're taking pole dance lessons at a studio as if it's so very naughty, controversial and sexy and so on and you can't help rolling your eyes.

You go to said pole dancing class and listen to a bunch of girls defending themselves, righteously saying it's not a "stripper" class. It is for me... :party2:

Selina M
06-08-2015, 01:07 PM
Whenever you don't like something, your first urge is to get up and walk away.

I hate group work and last week the lab instructor started the first class with "You WILL work in groups". I rolled my eyes and had to restrain myself SO bad from getting up and walking out.
Anytime anyone says anything I don't like, I have a really hard time quelling the automatic eye roll and/or witty sarcastic response :/

SexedUpCat2
06-09-2015, 04:44 PM
When you start trying to tip everyone who helps you out ~ turns to male friends "Thanks for walking me to my car! Here's some...oh...wait"

SexedUpCat2
06-09-2015, 04:45 PM
Your neighbour who's a 'Vampire Diaries' fan sees you outside on your day off & congratulates you on finally getting a daylight ring.

Ahahahaha I love it

Legz541
06-10-2015, 11:08 PM
You can count cash faster than most bank tellers!

Aniela
06-11-2015, 03:53 AM
When even your ibuprofen bottle is blinged-out. (Iron-on rhinestones popped off a pair of work knickers & stuck better to the plastic bottle than the fabric)