View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
winter2003
12-09-2003, 06:20 AM
[quote]
When you can repair anything with concealer, a garter, three rubber bands and a large safety pin.
Ah Macgyver!
Miss Azuredee those were also fantastic!
--When you find yourself massaging your breasts in the middle of a sushi resturant! ;)
Spanky
12-09-2003, 06:39 AM
your laying in bed with a guy and talking and you don't realize that your playing with your tits!!!
Holly,
Yes, I love it when you girls do that!
azuredee, those were phenominal!!!
Lilith
12-09-2003, 08:00 AM
When you always keep a couple hundred cash on hand at work, just in case either the costume lady or the cops show up.
When someone whistles at you in the mall and you start longing for your bouncers.
Lilith
12-09-2003, 08:32 AM
When a good-looking man with a great job asks you for your name, phone number and a date... and it annoys the piss out of you.
When you spray perfume on yourself to get ready for a dinner date with your SO and automatically spray your kitty.
tranquil_waters
12-09-2003, 10:40 AM
when you have to give back your 5 year old daughter shorts you stoll for hot pants at work :-/
When at Wal-Mart you catch a guy stareing at your ass, and instead of ignoring it you drop something, bend over so he can check out the good's, look at him, giggle and wink.
When you bang up your knees real bad and the first thing you think is "Knee high's? or thigh highs?"
themuse
12-09-2003, 06:29 PM
I just had to jump into this one!
.....when your cell phone address screen looks like this
Bambi (Jen)
Aspen (Misty)
Celeste (Debra)
Raven (Melissa)
Desire (Stephanie)
themuse
12-09-2003, 06:33 PM
And...
When you have to be really careful what name you call your friends in front of their children.
"Mommy, why did she call you Candy?"
"Oh, that's just my silly nickname, sweetie!"
themuse
12-09-2003, 06:35 PM
Just one more...
When you will only buy certain kinds of deoderant because they won't glow under the blacklights.
nikki
07-23-2004, 12:51 AM
Well, its been awhile since a posted last on here. Its nice to see some new ones added. Awesome Girls! Well here's a few new ones from me...
You know you're a Stripper When.....
1) You have a collection of bills, $1's, $5's and so on, shaped in all different designs like..Frogs, Rings, Bowtie's, Playboy bunnies, and so on.
2) You have to use industrial strengh apoxy to put the soles or straps of your boots or shoes back together, cause you've been working so much.. You just don't want to go buy another new pair a shoes this year.
3) You have a permenent scar on your wrist from all the pole tricks you do. Cause you practiced so much to get it just right that you ended up with blisters so bad.
4) You use a big tool box for all your make-up, hair products, body products and so on. For that just in cause moment you need that odd item.
5) Its great to finally not have to wear your contacts for a day or two. I hate wearing my contacts all the time. Its such a releaf not to wear them.
6) You realize that your 10x more felixable in that dream you had last nite about that new pole trick, you just can't bend you're leg back that way or that far. GRRR!! I will find a way to do that trick though, it was a good one.
7) Its a releaf to finally sleep in your own bed, with your own pillows...Hotel rooms get old and expensive, especially during that bad week.
8) After the hour an half drive home, all you want to do is go to bed, yet your man is already home in bed, so you gotta find the energy to take a shower, so ya don't smell like the club!
Ok girls thats all for now. time for bed. take care and enjoy.....
Madcap
07-23-2004, 01:08 AM
When your boyfriend is like "How come you never dress up for me?"
*Obligatory Puppy dog eyes follow*
onlythebest
07-23-2004, 01:16 AM
....when you go out in public and catch strange people pointing you out as if you're a minor celebrity.
....you have two separate sections of your wardrobe and makeup - one for your 'regular' self and one for your 'stripper' self.
....every pair of shoes you own has some sort of high heel.
....12pm is a REALLY early hour to wake up.
....6am is a normal hour to go to bed.
....your concept of 'tomorrow' is far different from that of everyone else you know.
....your pet has glitter in its fur.
....you speak of retirement at an age when most other people are just getting revved in their careers.
....you drop $100 on cheap plastic shoes without batting an eye, but scoff at paying more than $25 for a decent pair of leather shoes.
....you can walk into any crowd in any situation and command the attention of everyone present.
Those so apply to me!HAHA!
Madcap
07-23-2004, 03:26 AM
When you take your boyfriend Lingere shopping, and he gets irritable .
(Yes, i have been a Dancers man a few times)
alexisgold97
07-23-2004, 12:40 PM
...when you're on a first name basis with the entire 3rd shift crew of Waffle House, IHOP, and Denny's.
mercedez
07-23-2004, 01:10 PM
when someone in your AP class points out you have a piece of sequince stuck to your leg!!!
Prina
07-23-2004, 03:24 PM
True story... First day of class...You and your professor make eye contact many times (out of 250 students)...thinking to yourself he looks familiar..holy sh*t I gave him a LD. I sat in the back the rest of the year. :o
bambiblue
07-23-2004, 04:23 PM
You have to "think" when you introduce yourself
when your out shopping for clothes and you forget you have to put your clothes back on before getting a different size.
Mercury_Deep
07-24-2004, 04:04 AM
You know you're a stripper when you get to the bank and hand the teller rubberbanded stacks of money that smells good.
NikkiD
07-24-2004, 05:26 AM
.... You have to pause when someone asks your name, because Bambi isn't REALLY your name, at least not in the real world.
kellyallstar
07-24-2004, 06:59 AM
when you tie your hair up with your garter.
Prina
07-24-2004, 12:46 PM
You are excited when it rains the night of your shift!!
Bad weather=busy club
mercedez
07-24-2004, 01:16 PM
You are excited when it rains the night of your shift!!
Bad weather=busy club
just what I was thinking....it's raining here!!!!!!!!!!!!! :highfive:
You automatically flirt with people you don't mean to flirt with.
kellyallstar
07-24-2004, 08:32 PM
you adjust your g string putting your hand down your pants, and don't care! when your waiting at a crossing to cross the street. (you're so used to doin it at work)
Prina
07-25-2004, 09:59 AM
you adjust your g string putting your hand down your pants, and don't care! when your waiting at a crossing to cross the street. (you're so used to doin it at work)
:laughing: I did that in the gym today
Gynger
07-25-2004, 02:13 PM
Nice thread- glad someone brought it back to life!
1. You say "Good morning" at 7pm
2. When shopping for jeans and a t shirts, you wonder how you can modify them to work in
3. You touch yourself frequently subconciously.
verfolgung
07-25-2004, 05:48 PM
... you've got dozens of people wishing they could "rescue" you, even though you never really felt the need to be saved.
... you can look a guy strait in the eye after he says something like, "Wow, you have the most beautiful kitty I've ever seen!" and still smile to make him feel as though he said something charming.
... you have moments when the only thing you want in the world is a little piece of paper towel with some rubbing alcohol on it.
...you just can't seem to get the glitter out of the upholstery in your car.
...you can listen to a guy make the most obtuse remarks, but as long as he gets a CR you think he's not so bad.
...you've ever flirted with a guy because you thought you could bum a cigarette off him or he could give you a light.
...you've almost gotten into a fight with another dancer because she bummed a cigarette from you're pack while you were on stage without asking permission.
...you have problems like renting a car while on vacation because you can't do anything that requires credit without a co-signer.
...you pay $5 for a pack of smokes at the local convenience store and consider them cheap.
...you've ever had the waitress tell you that the customer you're sitting with can't buy you a drink because you've already got three drinks on three other tables.
... you know guys will have to come up with some other way to verify your natural hair color.
...Objects in mirrors no longer appear backwards to you.
...you're constantly using gift certificates given to you by customers which are addressed to your "alternative" name.
... you have two or more seamstresses or dressmakers sending collectors after you.
... you consider squatting down while wearing your platforms as a comfortable position to relax in.
... you get solicited on a regular basis with offers to buy your thongs or g-strings for obscene amounts of money. (You have to keep yourself from both laughing and being disgusted because you know they'll pay more for them unwashed!)
... you consider platform shoes and an ID as standard items to bring to a job interview.
... you've ever been in a grocery store and had to quickly think up an excuse for being in the neighborhood because you told the guy, who just spotted you, that you "really" lived three towns over.
... you're comfortable having a five minute conversation with a guy who never looks up to make eye contact with you.
... you can be involved in a conversation while also being acutely aware of everyone who enters or leaves the room - especially if it looks like they may be a big spender.
... you're no longer comfortable going to basketball games with your boyfriend because those break-away warm up pants just always seem to irk you.
... you consider it a normal snack to have a powerbar and a glass of champagne.
... you visit the United Nations and wonder how those flag patterns would look on a little two piece outfit.
... you've ever vacuumed your house in a pair of platforms because you needed to break them in before work that night. (Bonus points if you've vacuumed in your platforms just becuase you considered them the most comfortable shoes to work around the house in!)
... you instinctively check the clock or see who's on stage before lighting another cigarette.
... you have no children, yet you buy more packs of baby wipes than the local maternity ward.
... you consider any song over 3 minutes as just too damn long.
... you think the last thing you want to hear as your walking with a customer over to private dance area is, "Hey guys, get yourself a 2 for 1 for the next 10 minutes!"
... you invite your co-workers to a special occasion (b-day party, wedding, baby shower, BBQ, etc.) and have to remind them which name to call you. (INVERSE - You've ever been invited to a co-worker's place and had people stare at you curiously because you just called to your friend with her "alternative" name.)
... you have to have briefings with your dancer friends to get updates on their "lives" just in case one of her customers should come up to you and ask about her.
... you wake up in the morning, hop in the shower, go to shave your legs and realize you still have your garter on from the night before.
... you've ever tried to use a scruntchie in place of a garter in a quick pinch, but then realized you were cutting off the circulation to the rest of your leg.
... you're an expert at showing your friends how they can have a complete night out on the town, get completely wasted, and not spend a dime.
... you have a mysterious bladder problem where the phase "2 for 1" causes you to immediately head for the nearest ladies room. (This phrase has also been known to cause muscle failer. It has been observed on numerous occasions that dancers who were about to get up, upon hearing the phrase "2 for 1", immediately collapsed back into their seat.)
... you watch beauty pagents with some minor cynicism because you know if those girls worked with you, they wouldn't be able to use all that tissue and tape.
... you realize that you'll NEVER had a problem coming up with a costume for Halloween. (In fact you probably have at least one outfit for every holiday!)
... you use more luggage for a day at work than many people might take on a weekend getaway.
verfolgung
07-26-2004, 06:19 AM
Hey everyone, I took a few moments and compiled most of the comments from this thread into one document.
I've been bringing it with me to the clubs I visit, and it always seems good for a laugh.
Anway, If you would like a copy e-mail me and I'll be happy to forward you one.
bloodydewdrop
07-26-2004, 06:51 AM
verfolgung,
these are hilarious baby! and very true. send me that attachment :)
...when the guy at the drivethrough hands you your change, you smile, wink, and say "spank ya, babe."
brandys
07-26-2004, 06:16 PM
you know more 50-70 year old men then your mother.........
Samantha_Ray
07-26-2004, 09:08 PM
You have half and quarter used makeup, eyeliners, eyeshadows ect. floating around in your makeup case even though you just went out and bought new makeup, you might just possibly run out of the new stuff or can't find something right!
Gynger
07-26-2004, 09:18 PM
you know more 50-70 year old men then your mother.........
OMG!
How funny and how true!
One more:
You own more bikini's than underwear
verfolgung
07-27-2004, 05:04 AM
... your tattoo from your rebellious high school days, which you thought no one would really ever see, is now a common topic of conversation.
... you commonly get splinters on parts of your body that would make others say, "How the hell did you get one there?"
... you've ever had a decent night financially ruined by a chipped nail. (You know the cost to have them done over has just put you back in the hole.)
... you've been told several times that, "You'd be great at selling cars!", but are never quite sure if you should take that as an insult or compliment.
Verfulgung, I'm sure we'd all love to see these in one document... why don't you copy/paste them and start a new thread?
verfolgung
07-27-2004, 09:09 AM
Lena,
I've already compiled them into one document (it's now 11 pages). I tried to attach a .pdf earlier but it wouldn't take. I've already e-mailed the doc to a couple of people who have requested it. Let me know if you'd like a copy and I'd be happy to forward it along.
BTW - I will try your idea shortly.
Anyone, is there another way to attach a document to be downloaded? Please let me know. Thanks
verfolgung
09-01-2004, 06:46 AM
I figured since I started a new thread "You Know You're A SC Regular When...", it wouldn't hurt to refresh this one as well.
Don't forget if you would like a copy of the consolidated list just use this link:
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?p=316470
I'll update the consolidated list as new lines get added to this one.
Cheers. :)
kitana
09-01-2004, 07:44 AM
You know your a stripper when you adjust anything in public without caring who sees. And if they do see and give you a funny look, you get mad and call them out on it.
.....if you have to make an effort to shut the bathroom stall door in public.
.....if you have at least 1 pic of your kid in one of your outfits or shoes for work.
.....if the people at the Super Wal-Mart know you on a 1st name basis 'cause it's the only thing open at 3am.
.....you have to make up an excuse where you work when your parents come over and see your work bag.
......if you have gotten out fo a speeding ticket cause the cop is one of your regulars. (true story happend to me)
that's all I can think of now, I'll try to post more later.
Kitana
verfolgung
09-05-2004, 06:03 AM
....You're so comfortable taking about your alternative life, you could pass a polygraph without a problem
voodoo
09-05-2004, 10:16 AM
....You call off work (or just don't go in) for reasons your friends scoff at.
....You consider working five days a week over time.
......All your male friends can't wait to meet your co-workers.
.....You get irratated at your boyfriend because you're getting more gifts from strangers then him.
....you feel bad for someone making $10.00/hour.
....the "normal" way of quitting your job is giving two days notice.
....when you dance for your boyfriend you remind him "no touching" out of habit.
....having to pay for a drink seems outrageous, but tipping the cocktail server a $5 or $10 is mandatory.
heidi
09-05-2004, 12:06 PM
i love this thread... i'd love to see it compiled to one big list... i brought this into work awhile ago and one girl said to me... as she was using a g-string to put her hair up they should add..
...when you cant find a hair tie... so you improvise and use a garter or g-string.
lol
xoxo
heidi
verfolgung
09-05-2004, 05:16 PM
i love this thread... i'd love to see it compiled to one big list... i brought this into work awhile ago and one girl said to me... as she was using a g-string to put her hair up they should add..
...when you cant find a hair tie... so you improvise and use a garter or g-string.
lol
xoxo
heidi
Heidi lol, it is compiled. Look back a few posts and you'll find a link to a thread I created with the consolidated list.
Also I have a word doc or a pdf I can e-mail you if you like. PM me and I'd be happy to forward it along. :)
verfolgung
09-05-2004, 05:18 PM
great additions voodoo, I'll have to update the lists. ;)
here's another....
....You're out dancing at a normal bar or club and there are moments when you feel lost without a pole.
heidi
09-05-2004, 06:49 PM
aahhh... i see verfolgung... thanks :)
verfolgung
09-06-2004, 10:29 AM
....You consider it to be one of the most evil substances known to man - BABY OIL.
Element
09-25-2004, 12:01 PM
Thanks verfolgung these are hilarious I have heard some dancers tell me stories from the list.
verfolgung
09-25-2004, 12:15 PM
Thanks verfolgung these are hilarious I have heard some dancers tell me stories from the list.
You're welcome, but don't thank me. It's the ladies on the board who composed the list and made it what it is.
Don't forget a consolidated list is also available in another thread. (you can find a link in one of the previous posts ^)
Paris
09-26-2004, 12:34 AM
When you can count money faster and more accurately than any bank teller
When you know a counterfit bill just by touch
When you can guess within a few dollars how much money you have wadded up in your hand
When you see your plastic surgeon more often then you family Dr.
When all your female family members ask you to teach them strippers moves instead of signing up for that class at the health club
When you can type faster with long fingernails than with short nails
.... when you pay for all your bills in money orders