View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
Vyanka
07-08-2015, 10:10 AM
That is nooo joke, girl. If you're a full-time dancer, it's much easier to adjust to scheduling when you eat and sleep. But if you only work 1-2 nights a week and spend the rest of the week on a normal schedule, it is legit HARD to get a normal amount of sleep and catch up on eating enough calories.
Not for me :(
My breakfast was at 1'sh yesterday, got ready, long commute, worked passed 4am, and ate two corn tortillas when i got home before sleep. I barely ate yesterday, bc i got busy without a break.
I usually take a break to order dinner at work. My shifts are 8 hours. Sometimes longer if I'm doing a late room. :(
wednesday86
07-08-2015, 12:01 PM
When the ash trays at work are littered with cigarette butts with red lipstick stains on them. lol!
OliveJardin
07-10-2015, 12:19 AM
...when you are casually blow drying your new shoes in the lounge room while watching tv ::).
Prettyglitter
07-11-2015, 08:11 PM
Your criteria for choosing a grad school is:
-program strength
-nearby profitable clubs
-nearby potential sugar daddies
Flickdreams
07-11-2015, 11:15 PM
Feet at start of shift.......42118
Afterwards.......42119
and then next shift........42120
littlefox
07-12-2015, 11:57 AM
When you're grateful for the hour in your club you can take off your dress because you're so much more comfortable hustling in your lingerie!
Nyla19
07-13-2015, 09:19 AM
When your doctor asks you why on earth you'd got implants when you had big boobs to start out with?
lilylilylily
07-14-2015, 11:40 AM
When a chick comes up to you in the dr and shows you her pussy and casually asks if you can see her tampon string.
crystalize
07-15-2015, 07:46 PM
Not sure if this has been said already, but you know you're a stripper when you wish you could just wear your stripper shoes when you go out with your girlfriends/on a date because they're so much more comfortable than regular heels!
I so wish we could! And I recently realized its party because of the cushion/padded insole and I just wish all heels were like that. And the platform contributes to it too I know
carmen_b
07-19-2015, 04:16 AM
Your first two sales of the week at your day job added up within a few bucks of what you spent on advertising and you immediately think " Ok, I've paid my house fee , now let's get busy! "
lilylilylily
07-19-2015, 11:36 AM
I have way more fun buying stripper clothes than regular clothes. I seldom even buy new regular clothes but I can spend hours looking for stripper gear on line cuz I love switching it up but regular clothes, I pretty much stick to the same few things when I go out.
Odette
07-20-2015, 07:50 PM
You know you have encountered a (moonlighting/ex/(semi)retired) stripper working at a regular bar when:
-customers are looking at their bills wide-eyed at the end of the night...and tipping 25% anyways because the ex-stripper has skilllz at 1) upselling those doubles and 2) getting people drunk without them realizing;)
-wins at shooting hard liquor and still managing to do their job...math and all
-kicks your ass at every round of "spot the escort"...yeah there's nothing out of the ordinary about that totally average dude with the perfectly done up 21 year old hottie at the bar...except maybe an extraordinarily fat wallet full of kaching
-sasses the thugs that all the other patrons/staff are scared shitless of
yeah, I'm loving my new gig quite a bit. Similar, still fun, good $, but customers DO NOT fuck with the hand that pours their liquor ;)
Sansa
07-29-2015, 06:48 PM
You hesitate introducing yourself OTC because you can't remember which name you're going by.
MetalRoses
07-30-2015, 06:25 PM
When your apartment manager emails your "income verifucation" form straight to your managers office and since none of the management is interested in fillingbout such forms because:
1. They dont know how much you make
2. They dont know you by your real name anyway
anyway
3. Theyd rather just not deal with paperwork unless there's a $ incentive.
4. Theyd rather you forge their signature than do deal with it lol.
Hi Im new to SW just wanted to say hello and conteibute to the discussi
MetalRoses
07-30-2015, 06:28 PM
Sorry for the typos, my touch screen phone is crap.
Aniela
07-30-2015, 06:31 PM
Your straight-industry guy friend mentions feeling 'thirsty' & your first thought is he's talking abt being $$$$-hungry … then you think maybe he's horny & feel really uncomfy for a few seconds … bc it doesn't occur to you that maybe the poor guy just wants a freakin soda.
AlysonRose
07-30-2015, 06:52 PM
When you realize you're considered a "veteran stripper" compared to some newbies and new girls start asking you for advice. Also how you realize you're not shy to walk around the locker room nakie anymore like when you first started. Only realized that cuz the girl who started around when I did knew I always kept to myself and would rarely ever venture out of my locker area. Now I'll change before sets and just walk over across the room naked without thinking twice. She mentioned that to me the other day how I've changed so much.
charlie61
08-08-2015, 06:51 PM
...when you're aware that your vulva looks different depending on the temperature in the club and where you are in your cycle.
charlie61
08-08-2015, 06:51 PM
...when you shave your asshole in five seconds flat.
culitos
08-08-2015, 07:39 PM
When you have all these rubber bands lying around at home from work.
Aniela
08-08-2015, 07:58 PM
When you find yourself constantly 'gun-gripping' the mop w/ your bottom hand, as you would for an ayesha or lift on the pole ITC.
When your male vanilla-job coworker tells you to stop flirting w/ the customers … yet you have the higher sales records indicating that hey, flirting w/ the customers gets results!
Aniela
08-14-2015, 04:13 PM
You can manage 5" heels on uneven grassy terrain w/ broken feet & no stumbles.
kaninchen
08-14-2015, 04:21 PM
When your friends are obsessed with "bikini bodies" during summer, while you're much more interested in looking supremely hot during the $$$ months of November-March.
MetalRoses
08-14-2015, 10:09 PM
When you walk out your front door to walk to the corner store in your VS active wear and you realize your black sequin bra is stuck to your bright pink hoodie....
Selina M
08-15-2015, 01:37 AM
You have the ability to tune out even the most obnoxious rap music.
lilylilylily
08-15-2015, 02:24 AM
When you listen to customer's bs and pretend that you believe it.
xStacey
08-19-2015, 07:16 AM
When you tie your hair up with a garter because you can't find any hair elastic.
SuperJa
09-14-2015, 08:58 PM
When you spend your night off hand washing all your thongs and realize you've run out of doorknobs to hang them on
Aniela
09-16-2015, 07:52 PM
You see a notice for a chance to enter a drawing where the grand prize is a $200 gift card for Dick's Sporting Goods, & your first thought is 'OMG think of all the liquid chalk, athletic tape, & ice packs I could buy w/ that!'
You know you're a SW stripper when the cat-shaped trinkets in your vanilla store have a big flower painted right in the middle of their bums, & you think of the 'Buttplugs ITC' thread.
NYC.Bianca
09-18-2015, 01:05 AM
When you go out and your civilian friends (or your date) tell you : whoa people keep looking at you!! And you reply : really? I didn't notice anything.
YES!
And... I don't know if this is just me but...
...when you first meet new people and they almost seem to instinctively know that you're a stripper.
Maybe it's just because I am a hustler in every area of my life, and people thought I was a stripper long before I ever danced.. (grew up performing, dancing, etc),
but it's really weird.. even when I meet people with very little make-up on and casual clothing they seem to guess but only say something if I mention it.
Maybe it's because stripping gives you this "I don't take any BS" impenetrable level of confidence very few women in the "real world" ever seem to possess.
Selina M
09-18-2015, 08:45 PM
When $50 bills annoy you bc they interrupt your counting of $20s
When you're trying to sort out your car/credit card payments, savings and spending $$, and the best way to do it is to spread bills all over the living room floor... and you then can't resist the urge to throw the money on your dog.
Leica
09-20-2015, 06:15 AM
Hahaha. I'm throwing my money over my dog every night I dance from now on lol.
charlie61
09-20-2015, 09:07 PM
...when you stop feeling the need to smile at people all of the time OTC, and you begin to fully embrace your bitchy resting face.
AlysonRose
09-20-2015, 09:13 PM
When you spend your night off hand washing all your thongs and realize you've run out of doorknobs to hang them on
That's hilarious! Even more so when you do that and you don't expect your roommate to bring over her cousin and the cousin sees your thongs hanging up on about 10 different things in the house.
Sansa
09-20-2015, 11:32 PM
...when you stop feeling the need to smile at people all of the time OTC, and you begin to fully embrace your bitchy resting face.
Still working on embracing my bitchy resting face. But I think it's a necessary life skill.
OliveJardin
09-20-2015, 11:53 PM
...when Sally Hansen Airbrushed Legs is on sale and you buy ALL of it...and the check out chick says "Stocking up? Is it good, do you have to put it on your legs or can you put it anywhere?" and I reply "Sure, I put it erry where ;)".
charlie61
09-24-2015, 08:19 PM
Good night at work: I am so blessed, so thankful, this work is my life, and I shall be forever grateful to earn a living from my art...
Bad night at work: whelp, guess I'm a piece of shit...never gonna set foot in a club ever again...
Odette
09-24-2015, 08:37 PM
Watching the new mission impossible movie...tom cruise just shoulder mounts and shimmies up a pole to flip dismount and lands feet first in some dudes face...
To Buddy(who happens to be mr dj at a club you work at): Did you see that?!?! So....real life situations where pole skills are an asset: escaping restraints and torture. Yes?
wednesday86
09-25-2015, 02:46 AM
when your husband grabs your boob and you instinctively slap his hand away
Trena
09-25-2015, 11:18 PM
How about when you're standing in line or whatever, and you hear music and subconsciously start moving your body to the music??? I catch myself doing that all the time
charlie61
09-26-2015, 10:13 AM
...when your idea of "taking some time off of work" or "taking a vacation from work" involves not working for weeks or months at a time.
AlysonRose
09-26-2015, 10:49 AM
When you're getting ready for a night out with your friend and you both are getting ready together. Then you take some glitter and throw it on you and your friend is like "wtf". Then you realize what you've done.
wednesday86
09-27-2015, 10:08 AM
when you buy 3 different Halloween costumes: One "normal" costume for trick or treating with your kid, and two slutty costumes for the Halloween parties at work. ;)
Sansa
09-30-2015, 10:27 AM
When you can't figure out why the cable guy is awkwardly standing in your doorway. Then you realize he's trying to process the pole right in front of him.
Odette
10-01-2015, 04:02 AM
When you find this...4322243223 At the bottom of your closet one day...my weirdo kitty cat!
whirlerz
10-01-2015, 08:12 PM
Can't see the pics^! :(
Edit: Thank you! Awwwwwwwwwwwww, so CUTE! :)
Elle:)
10-01-2015, 08:38 PM
When at your day job you count correctly from the 1st time in less than 2 minutes 800 dollars(in different bills) and your boss is staring at you open-mouthed.
Aniela
10-02-2015, 07:54 PM
When at your day job you count correctly from the 1st time in less than 2 minutes 800 dollars(in different bills) and your boss is staring at you open-mouthed.
LOL :thumbsup:
In the same vein … you count out the closing amts at your straight job, & even tho the computer programme does all of the 'X number of Y denomination = $ZZZ' maths for you … when it's time to figure the deposit, you can do it all in your head quicker than it takes most of your coworkers who get the same totals thru guesswork.
Nina_
10-02-2015, 08:30 PM
When you have all these rubber bands lying around at home from work.
Yet when it's time to leave for work you can't find a damn one.
lilylilylily
10-03-2015, 04:47 PM
When your stripper outfits are starting to take over all your drawer and closet space.