View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
Nina_
10-03-2015, 04:52 PM
^Omg luckily I have tons of closet space 'cause my dance outfits are taking up like half the drawers in my dresser! I need to get rid of some.
angelt
10-06-2015, 07:54 PM
You wouldn't be able to pick out your laundry detergent based on the smell of the clothes in your work bag because everything in your bag smells like cig smoke, antiperspirant, body spray, and febreeze
SuperJa
10-19-2015, 06:06 AM
You're feeling super stressed out about something so you go count a pile of money and instantly feel better.
sexsells
10-19-2015, 07:42 AM
You're feeling super stressed out about something so you go count a pile of money and instantly feel better.
OMG YES this a million times over! I think I swear I think I get mildly aroused when I have amassed lots of cash and start counting it.
Flickdreams
10-19-2015, 07:50 AM
^ And the opposite applies- not feeling happy when there are no stacks (but I guess most people tend to feel that way, not just dancers).
YKYAASW- a vagina infection is a disaster (its over now thank god).
Aniela
10-19-2015, 09:28 AM
Vanilla-job custie seems mildly embarrassed to be paying for his purchase in mostly singles: 'I apologise, I know it looks like I just came from the strip club' Your immediate response is a sincere 'What's wrong w/ going to the strip club?' You only realise the gravity of what you said when you notice the sideways look from your coworker, + the downright homicidal look from the custie's wife :blush:
Flickdreams
10-19-2015, 06:47 PM
42932
lynn2009
10-25-2015, 12:57 PM
you see a pair of sparkly, platform Steve Madden's on consignment and you simply must have them
SuperJa
10-26-2015, 12:28 AM
I think this applies to the whole family, not just strippers but:
Friend posts an article on facebook about "9 nail tips for the perfect first date gel mani" and i"m like "LOL if i'm paying for fresh nails for a date it better be with an older gentleman who has decided he wants to pay all my bills"
Literally wore sweat pants first date with current bf. Can't be bothered to spend time on looking attractive without being paid for it anymore tbh
MetalRoses
10-26-2015, 03:02 PM
When you're out on your first non-work Friday night out downtown and you peek into the first real nightclub to see if they just might have a pole.
Aurora14
10-27-2015, 11:41 PM
I washed my bedding today, found about $40 in 1s and 5s... Only positive thing from stumbling in and passing out without changing.
SuperJa
10-29-2015, 06:29 PM
When it's been a good week and they pay you out all in large bills, and you're looking in your wallet thinking you don't have much money cause it's thin, and then you count it and you're like, "sweet jaysus I need to go to the bank"
kaninchen
11-06-2015, 10:28 PM
You know you are a StripperWeb stripper when you've only danced in your home state, but when a customer starts giving you unsolicited advice on how the clubs are in Florida, Texas, or Las Vegas, you know his details are dead wrong.
MisMissing
11-07-2015, 01:26 PM
You know you're a stripper when after like a week or 2 of working for the first time you start wearing sweat pants and a t shirt with some sneakers instead of looking "dolled up all the time" before work also when you're just going somewhere in general most of the time lol.
miss.a.p1600
11-07-2015, 05:50 PM
Someone calls your stage name and your reflex is to instantly pay attention.
Flickdreams
11-07-2015, 10:45 PM
The faces of men in your city look familiar and you can't pinpoint if a custie .....
Odette
11-08-2015, 03:35 AM
When you find this...4322243223 At the bottom of your closet one day...my weirdo kitty cat!
fixed it finally! my furry little guy loves to cuddle my shoes...
MetalRoses
11-08-2015, 12:55 PM
...when your SO has mentioned more than a few times that I'm "A glamour Barbie at the club" but that all he gets is the "plain t-shirt and Nikes version at home"...lol
MetalRoses
11-08-2015, 12:59 PM
Oh I guess Mis already mentioned my bad...but this has been an ongoing topic of controversy between us
hollywood6
11-10-2015, 02:43 PM
When you look down at your feet and realize your toes have actually molded into the shape of stripper heels. :o
sexsells
11-11-2015, 12:45 AM
for introverted strippers: you want literally every.single.person to shut the fuck up and not talk to you under any circumstances anywhere, actually I don't even want them to make direct eye contact with me. The only acceptable thing they could be doing is of course...giving me money.
xStacey
11-12-2015, 11:19 AM
When you use baby wipes to quickly clean your boots before leaving the door...
charlie61
11-12-2015, 03:17 PM
When it's literally unthinkable to you that civilian women wear lingerie and sexy-dance for their partners for free.
(I know there are some rockstar do-it-all ladies on here with high sex drives who enjoy doing that kind of stuff for their SOs, but...hellz no for this girl.)
MetalRoses
11-13-2015, 03:02 AM
When it's literally unthinkable to you that civilian women wear lingerie and sexy-dance for their partners for free.
(I know there are some rockstar do-it-all ladies on here with high sex drives who enjoy doing that kind of stuff for their SOs, but...hellz no for this girl.)
^^Lol this reminds me of when I take my routine "work clothes" trips to VS and noticed there were a lot of civilian girls with their boyfriends which I guess is common? Idk...but I personally feel uncomfortable bringing a SO with me in there. I understand the agendas aren't the same (duh) but still. I don't like the idea of wearing something that I feel belongs on the stage with someone I'm IRL having sexy time with.
kaninchen
11-19-2015, 12:26 PM
When you're out shopping for civilian underwear and can't find anything, because everything looks like huge granny panties in comparison to the thongs you're used to.
Similarly, when you're shoe shopping and you see "sexy" three inch heels and just laugh and laugh at them.
whirlerz
11-20-2015, 06:01 PM
Similarly, when you're shoe shopping and you see "sexy" three inch heels and just laugh and laugh at them.
^I can't get over how badly most shoes are made, compared to strippah shoes
charlie61
11-26-2015, 07:53 PM
...when you try on 'civilian' thongs, and they feel like diapers compared to your work thongs.
SuperJa
11-28-2015, 02:43 AM
You've had a conversation with your night shift working neighbor when you both walk into the elevator, and you're holding burlesque fans, 8" heels, and wearing a pirate hat.
Glamourmilf
11-28-2015, 03:23 AM
for introverted strippers: you want literally every.single.person to shut the fuck up and not talk to you under any circumstances anywhere, actually I don't even want them to make direct eye contact with me. The only acceptable thing they could be doing is of course...giving me money.
This is so me. Yesterday, today, and everyday.:yes::shhh:
Odette
11-28-2015, 03:34 AM
...when the guy you are seeing walks into your bar.
...and the guy you were kind of seeing before walks into the bar right after him.
...and then one of your regulars walks into the bar...orders a ginger ale...and watches the whole awwwwwkward ordeal.
My fucking friday night.
Selina M
11-28-2015, 10:26 AM
When you come home smelling of hand sanitizer, because you put it all over yourself in an attempt to deter any guy who thwarted your defensive dancing and managed to lick you :ill:
MissLouboutin
11-28-2015, 10:38 AM
When your #1 spot of running into customers is the local airport.
ThunderStorm
11-28-2015, 12:58 PM
When you realize none of your clothes are really what you call appropriate for public places
when you realize you should stop doing isolation booty control standing in line at the store
when you walk better in heels than you do in tennis shoes, tennis shoes have way too much grip on the floor, ive actually fell because of it
when you put a fistful of ones in the collection plate at church
when you have to match your body jewelry no matter where you go, but skip panties and bra all together
this one happens to me a lot but your taking a picture and without realizing it you've cupped your boobs, or bent over... this just happened at thanksgiving and i have been hearing my mothers mouth ever since smh...
Sansa
11-28-2015, 04:21 PM
You avoid makeup/nice clothes/styled hair just to make sure no one recognizes you OTC.
when you realize you should stop doing isolation booty control standing in line at the store
^I cannot stop doing this.
lilylilylily
11-28-2015, 05:23 PM
When you count your money after your shift and you actually made a lot more than what you thought
simone87
11-28-2015, 05:26 PM
can't remember whether or not i already added this but..i can size up any stack of ones by eyeballing it for a second. my bf had a wad of ones in his hands and just by glancing i could tell it was 10 bucks.
HallelujahHopkins
11-29-2015, 08:56 AM
When you hate people introducing themselves at your vanilla job because you resent telling anyone your real name.
whirlerz
11-29-2015, 09:18 AM
When you get the "side eyeball" cause you're wearing glam-ass makeup, but plain sweats & a hoodie after a shift. & you basically scarf up the menu @ the 24/7 dinner
Odette
11-29-2015, 03:46 PM
You avoid makeup/nice clothes/styled hair just to make sure no one recognizes you OTC.
THIS. I made friends with my driver and he makes sooooo much fun of me when we hang out on non work days that I look so different and is always like "you should spend on yourself and be pretty" and I'm always like "yeah....no." He doesn't get that we spend so much time being appreciated for just our appearance that it's nice to know people want to hang out with the au naturel version of yourself as well.
ThunderStorm
12-01-2015, 01:22 AM
...one of your favorite songs to dance to comes on the radio, or plays at a party, and you find yourself subconsciously launching into your routine...
yassssss lol and i have a problem of finding my groove to almost any song with a nice bassline
cw2324
12-04-2015, 11:45 AM
When you are walking your dog late at night and pass by a street sign that you can't help but grab and wrap a leg around, about to go into a simple spin, but suddenly realize that you might actually be defiling government property, and now your hands and leg are covered in soot and dirt.
SuperJa
12-04-2015, 02:56 PM
When you have an early appointment and they ask you, "so what are you doing after?"
And you answer "going back to sleep?" like what else would a human be doing at 9am?
whirlerz
12-04-2015, 03:01 PM
When one of the retail workers asks you, "Are you doing anything fun this week"? & gets confused by your smirking.
angelt
12-19-2015, 11:31 PM
Your friend is proud of making $8 an hour at a new job and you're just thinking "it will take you 8 hours to make what i make in less then half an hour"
MelissaRenee
12-20-2015, 01:21 AM
When your #1 spot of running into customers is the local airport.
I totally did this!
The day after I worked and did a few hours VIP with a guy who told me he was flying back to NY the next day, I was also flying to Boston and awkwardly made eye contact (though not sure if he recognized me without the makeup but he probably remembered my tattoos!) and was internally like "YEAHH GOING ON VACATION WITH YOUR MONEY!"
Selina M
12-27-2015, 11:34 PM
When you're out shopping for civilian underwear and can't find anything, because everything looks like huge granny panties in comparison to the thongs you're used to.
Ohhh I second this, I couldn't find anything at the mall today. I could honestly wear the Body Zone thongs comfortably every day. Don't even get me started on 'hipsters', so much fabric and totally not sexy *barf*
Adding on... when no bra is ever enough cleavage/push up for work purposes. MOAR CUP SIZES!
charlie61
12-27-2015, 11:56 PM
When you're out shopping for civilian underwear and can't find anything, because everything looks like huge granny panties in comparison to the thongs you're used to.
Similarly, when you're shoe shopping and you see "sexy" three inch heels and just laugh and laugh at them.
...when you try on 'civilian' thongs, and they feel like diapers compared to your work thongs.
Lol. Just realized that I wrote almost the exact same post like five minutes after you posted this, kaninchen. Haha. Sorry!!
Adrienne7
01-02-2016, 11:02 AM
...When you are at a strip club with some friends but as a customer, and have to keep reminding yourself to stop scanning the crowd for potential sales :D and just relax and enjoy the show, and pay TRUE attention to your friends, not the half-listening with eyes constantly scanning. Can't help mah self!
kaninchen
01-02-2016, 02:42 PM
Lol. Just realized that I wrote almost the exact same post like five minutes after you posted this, kaninchen. Haha. Sorry!!
Great minds think alike! :flirt: :flirt:
samanthamx
01-02-2016, 04:51 PM
...When you are at a strip club with some friends but as a customer, and have to keep reminding yourself to stop scanning the crowd for potential sales :D and just relax and enjoy the show, and pay TRUE attention to your friends, not the half-listening with eyes constantly scanning. Can't help mah self!
A variant when you are at a strip club as a customer: after going to the rest room thinking "this dressing room is miserable" and/or "this panties are not sexy enough for the stage".