View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
RiotGrrlTease
01-06-2016, 12:50 PM
You know you're a stripper when...
You reach into your pocket to pay for something and realize you shoved your panties in there from the dryer.
You really don't care if you wear make up or not when you go out because you're not getting paid to look good.
You have dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner.
You lose every instinct to budget
You hoard money and count it to get a boost when you've had a slow night
rhaenys
01-06-2016, 04:19 PM
when you "retire" from stripping but keep your favorite pair of shoes "just in case." ;)
lynn2009
01-06-2016, 05:59 PM
you see another young woman also paying her rent in cash and the both of you share a look
Dancer_maria
01-06-2016, 08:49 PM
When your Date asks you to dance FOR him on the second date, and you havent been to bed yet...Yes Men do Gossip!
22lligm
01-08-2016, 06:06 PM
When you look like the bum of the complex because you roll out of your apartment to walk your dog in sweats & uggs drinking coffee at 12 pm.
Then you take her out again around 5 when everyone else is coming home from work in business clothes and your still in the same sweats & uggs they saw you in earlier. My neighbors are probably like 'does she work??' lol
samjadejess
01-08-2016, 07:18 PM
Going work clothes shopping means checking out Victoria's Secret :)
charlie61
01-08-2016, 07:32 PM
...when flattening your money in or under a book is a satisfying post-work ritual. Pulling out bills the next day that are perfectly flat...ahhh bliss..
whirlerz
01-09-2016, 10:42 AM
When your bldg's laundry's broke, it's Sat morn & you need clean clothes..you got one pair of black semi sheer footless tights, 1 blk lace thong & black top that doesn't cover the butt
Everyone @ Joe's dumpy laundry givin' you the side eye, except that men, that can't stop checkin' you out, but you DGAF.:)
luna93
01-11-2016, 05:37 PM
your elitist ass music taste is slowly becoming softer for top 40 and cheesy r&b
Gia2608
01-11-2016, 05:39 PM
You have 400 nail polishes but NEVER do your own nails (opt for salon)
kleptomaniac
01-15-2016, 04:20 AM
You are pouring yourself a cup of coffee at 1pm and find a pair of eyelashes stuck to the bottom of the cup.
Legz541
01-15-2016, 05:17 PM
You are pouring yourself a cup of coffee at 1pm and find a pair of eyelashes stuck to the bottom of the cup.
I've found countless renegade lashes while cleaning house. Can't even tell you how many I've smashed thinking from a distance they were a huge spider!
zivlet
01-16-2016, 10:54 PM
You're having sex and your false eyelashes fall in your partner's face
glitteredgarter
01-16-2016, 11:10 PM
You hold your bills between your fingers, no matter what situation you're in.
charlie61
01-17-2016, 05:59 AM
You have to take a minute to remember what day it is, because your schedule is so messed up.
charlie61
01-18-2016, 04:34 PM
You only work a couple of times a week, but your sleeping schedule is completely fucked for the entire week. Like, fucked. Just...seriously fucked.
NicoRico
01-19-2016, 10:40 AM
When you look like the bum of the complex because you roll out of your apartment to walk your dog in sweats & uggs drinking coffee at 12 pm.
Then you take her out again around 5 when everyone else is coming home from work in business clothes and your still in the same sweats & uggs they saw you in earlier. My neighbors are probably like 'does she work??' lol
This is me! Except I either look like a scrub or I'm walking my dog looking fly as hell about to go to work with full makeup and extensions!
charlie61
01-20-2016, 05:21 PM
You're genuinely and unreasonably irritated that you're the only one who's awake and eating dinner at 3 am.
whirlerz
01-20-2016, 07:01 PM
When you're shopping Walmart late after a shift, cart piled w/lingerie, swimwear, baby wipes& makeup, suddenly the floor cleaning guy just HAS to be cleaning where you are, craning his neck all the while (
Odette
01-21-2016, 05:09 PM
...when you lose your atm card and can't be bothered to drag your beautiful ass out of bed before 2pm to get to the bank and replace it before they close...so you're like "meh...pillowcase..."
for 2 weeks.
ScarletKitten
01-21-2016, 09:24 PM
When you haven't stripped in over 6 months, and yet obsess about when you can strip again.
When you have a love-hate relationship with your job. "Ugh, I hate these annoying customers who try to push my boundaries." Then "OMG I LOVE being a stripper, I can make a vanilla job's week worth of pay in one night! And I'll take the rest of the week off!" then "Ugh, I'm so bored just lying around the house, fuck my muscles hurt so bad. Fuck being a stripper." And round and round we go again...
Selina M
01-21-2016, 09:36 PM
You're genuinely and unreasonably irritated that you're the only one who's awake and eating dinner at 3 am.
Me every Saturday night: "Pizza only delivers until midnight? What the fuck! Why did we leave Major College Town?! Everything was open super late there! I miss Vegas! Everything is 24 hours!" Then end up at McDonalds.
When you have a robotic, monotone reaction of "Bartender" when someone asks what you do... followed up with "Oh an uh, adult establishment... yeah..." with no eye contact, to dissuade them from pursuing the conversation.
Coupled with hoping they don't ask a question that reveals you do not actually know the first thing about bartending.
tempest666
01-22-2016, 03:39 AM
When you discover a new metal band and immediately think "I'm dancing to that!"
charlie61
01-22-2016, 05:40 AM
When you masturbate, you come with a completely expressionless face and minimal noises. Faking pleasure for a living has certain effects...
kaninchen
01-22-2016, 12:14 PM
Me every Saturday night: "Pizza only delivers until midnight? What the fuck! Why did we leave Major College Town?! Everything was open super late there! I miss Vegas! Everything is 24 hours!" Then end up at McDonalds.
Such truth. My old neighborhood had a 24 hour Subway, Jack in the Box, and a Del Taco on my route home. My new neighborhood has literally nothing open past midnight.
So. Fucking. Unfair.
Tourdefranzia
01-22-2016, 03:29 PM
This happened to me last night:
When your vanilla friends start talking about the sex trafficking problems of your town and how the club I currently work at (they don't know I strip) is at the center of the sex trafficking ring and I have to resist calling them a bunch of uninformed dumbasses.
When I bring up my doubts that the sex trafficking problems are as bad as they say, they are like "No, really TourdeFranzia, my friend is a deputy sheriff and he swears that the only people who go to those places are pedophiles."
Must. keep. mouth. shut.
*I need new vanilla friends.
charlie61
01-22-2016, 04:12 PM
When seeing girls passed out in the dressing room doesn't phase you at all.
charlie61
01-22-2016, 04:13 PM
When you start to feel sick of mundane things like taking showers and putting on lotion because you do it twice on workdays.
whirlerz
01-22-2016, 04:25 PM
When you're cleaning, & you find bags of brand new thongs you forgot you bought..
whirlerz
01-22-2016, 09:37 PM
Such truth. My old neighborhood had a 24 hour Subway, Jack in the Box, and a Del Taco on my route home. My new neighborhood has literally nothing open past midnight.
So. Fucking. Unfair.
Ooh, Jack in the Box, we had those a long time ago, but no more. :(. Come to think of it, there's not a whole lot open by me past midnight. I think yea, 1 McD's by a damn casino, that thinks it's the shit. (they don't participate in special promotions that the other ones do)
charlie61
01-22-2016, 10:56 PM
...When you feel a soul-deep level of disgust for kitten heels.
SuperJa
01-23-2016, 12:45 AM
...When you feel a soul-deep level of disgust for kitten heels.
Jfc yes!
If you're going to wear a 1" heel just wear cute flats! Kitten heels literally add nothing, they don't do any of the butt lifting, posture perfecting that real heels do... all they do is scream "I can't walk in heels!"
One dancer I worked with described the feeling of wearing heels that short as "trying to walk around with a rock in your shoe."
charlie61
01-23-2016, 12:56 AM
Jfc yes!
If you're going to wear a 1" heel just wear cute flats! Kitten heels literally add nothing, they don't do any of the butt lifting, posture perfecting that real heels do... all they do is scream "I can't walk in heels!"
One dancer I worked with described the feeling of wearing heels that short as "trying to walk around with a rock in your shoe."
Even on civvies, I'm like...what. are. you. wearing.
If I have to wear heels for something, they're at least four inches tall, and I get constant comments like "OMG yer feets don't hurt??!" "Wowz ur so tall lolz!" and I'm like....r u fucking serious rn.
tempest666
01-23-2016, 02:11 AM
Such truth. My old neighborhood had a 24 hour Subway, Jack in the Box, and a Del Taco on my route home. My new neighborhood has literally nothing open past midnight.
So. Fucking. Unfair.
Omg I miss Jack in the Crack and Del Taco!
Sansa
01-24-2016, 08:50 AM
When you're laughing inside because a male (vanilla) coworker just joked about how he makes more money as a stripper... And you were just thinking the same thing.
Tourdefranzia
01-24-2016, 10:46 AM
When your tolerance for men's advances drops to zero outside of the club. Shouting "fuck off" as a rando dude in public when he attempts street harassment, and the ladies near by applaud your chutzpah. :)
kaninchen
01-24-2016, 01:57 PM
When you dress like a grungy tomboy outside of work, yet are still consistently a 10.
charlie61
01-25-2016, 03:55 AM
When you wake up with your knees covered in bruises of varying shades and nonchalantly think to yourself "eh, I've seen worse.."
charlie61
01-25-2016, 02:58 PM
When, on your non-work days, you walk around the house lol-ing that you make money off of your appearance.
Aurora14
01-25-2016, 03:25 PM
When you masturbate, you come with a completely expressionless face and minimal noises. Faking pleasure for a living has certain effects...
On the same note, your job affects regular sex too. Because after a rough night of dealing with a particularly rough crowd, you flinch when your significant other touches you. Then it starts a big fight because it was an involuntary reaction and they have a hard time understanding.
The waitresses in Denny's look forward to nights you are drunk because they will get entertainment and cookies (the next visit once sobered up). In return they assure the table full of city and county cops that you most certainly ARE NOT driving (I have babysitters on these nights) and keep you from getting a public intoxication citation. (My life is in a rough spot, don't judge me)
charlie61
01-25-2016, 05:45 PM
When you have alarms set for bizarre times (e.g. 1:00 pm, 6:30 pm).
DreamsInDigital
01-28-2016, 08:15 PM
When your boyfriend is going to a friend's bachelor party, and your first reaction is, "Oh, I guess there will be strippers there? Well, you better tip them a lot!!" :D
Natalya
01-29-2016, 01:39 PM
When you're out in public with your bf and you awkwardly interrupt conversations to point out every single time you see a girl sporting hair extensions, wigs, injected lip fillers, boob jobs, botox, fake ass etc, etc just because you know what they look like.
...then bf's dubious response is always like "really? ...nahhhh...." Like he would know.
charlie61
01-29-2016, 04:02 PM
When your straight-job friends brag about the hourly rate they get paid, and you have to search their faces for clues to tell you how to react.
I recently had a counselor friend tell me that he found a job that paid $40/hour, but he didn't give me any clues for how to react, so I just tentatively was like, "that's...good? Right?" Awkward.
nekothekitty
02-17-2016, 09:50 PM
1.) you buy so much food at mcdonalds or taco bell and know you'll just lose it off when you go back to work
2.) not caring about whipping out 200 1's from your pocket when paying for something
3.) not thinking twice about the bruises you get, it's normal.
4.) you get pissed off when guys try to hit on you outside of work because you're not getting paid for it
5.) $300 is a shitty night and you make that in only 7 hours
6.) think about who is a stripper when you go to the mall
7.) loving your job, while others degrade it
SuperJa
02-17-2016, 10:24 PM
^^
Oh man I am so much #1... a few bookings ago a girl was freaking out over my "perfect body" and I was like I have literally eaten at Denny's 6x this week... but honestly people don't realize how hard the job actually is physically. When I'm not working I eat pretty healthy, but some places I end up doing 9 shows a night, there is no way I can get enough healthy calories in to not look emaciated by the end of the week.
whirlerz
02-20-2016, 06:30 PM
When your bldg's laundry's broke, it's Sat morn & you need clean clothes..you got one pair of black semi sheer footless tights, 1 blk lace thong & black top that doesn't cover the butt
Everyone @ Joe's dumpy laundry givin' you the side eye, except that men, that can't stop checkin' you out, but you DGAF.:)
^^^:)
Tara Christine
02-23-2016, 08:49 PM
You know you're a stripper....
- when you have random rubber banded money folds in your purse....after all you can only fit so much in the wallet
- When you have bandaids on your toes (too excited to wear those new shoes before properly breaking them in)
- when regular lingerie is so boring to you
- grabbing the nearest pole like structure in a regular club and being a little to comfortable
-trying to do your makeup "normal" and walking out the house contoured and lashed to bits!
Legz541
02-23-2016, 09:54 PM
While the majority of the population views coins as change, you consider $1 bills change.
Like I even have a stripper piggy bank that I put all my bills less than a twenty in after every shift. This is a great way to save money btw. I never miss the money and it adds up fast especially with the fives and tens.
charlie61
03-21-2016, 09:35 PM
When you see the camgirls' threads on 24-hour-camathons and 30-day work challenges, and you're just like....how. Then you have to remind yourself that camming is a sliiiiiightly different job! :D