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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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Nyla19
03-21-2016, 09:39 PM
When you leave your house in sweats, hair in a ponytail, no makeup. Then come home with your hair done, tons of makeup on, fake lashes but you're still in your sweats.

whirlerz
03-21-2016, 09:45 PM
When you leave your house in sweats, hair in a ponytail, no makeup. Then come home with your hair done, tons of makeup on, fake lashes but you're still in your sweats.

Yes!^

When you have so many 'regulation black thongs', but when you see one in the store, & you just have to buy 1 more.

LilLadyLux
03-26-2016, 11:15 PM
Maybe this is just me- but when a guy offers to buy your panties and you start quickly calculating the cost of an entire new look, minus the fact that your over the current ones color +creep factor =$250... no sale? Go fuck yourself then.

LilLadyLux
03-27-2016, 08:22 AM
Go to work smelling like perfume, leave reeking of cologne.

tempest666
03-30-2016, 03:09 PM
You leave your car with keys to get a front end alignment and hit the gym meanwhile. Give them your real name only to remember that some random perv paid for your gym membership under your stage name, much to the bewilderment of the Planet Fitness employees.

arielbriel
03-30-2016, 06:36 PM
Everyone says you go on vacation SO much and you just think to yourself "not enough".

fallyn_love
04-02-2016, 08:48 PM
When your getting a pedicure before work and you ask the little cute asain lady if its ok to do your makeup while shes doing your feet because you want your running late and you want to cut the time you spend in the dressing room.

carmen_b
04-02-2016, 09:09 PM
You open a storage bin from a few years ago and find random 1's scattered in with everything else.
( I scooped them and got a spa pedi with them !!)

hippiechick
04-19-2016, 10:58 AM
...you have a dream about finally finding the perfect, smudge proof mascara, and wake up genuinely disappointed that it wasn't real life. Lol

whirlerz
04-19-2016, 11:29 AM
...you have a dream about finally finding the perfect, smudge proof mascara, and wake up genuinely disappointed that it wasn't real life. Lol

Try NYX 'topcoat' :) you put it over any mascara, makes it w/proof

Me: always running into more bags of new unworn thongs - which's a great thing when it's laundry time. :)

kaninchen
04-19-2016, 11:44 AM
4pm, every Saturday afternoon: time to finally get out of bed.

LoveyDovey
04-20-2016, 10:51 PM
....you know the Hair Dryer Trick (for heels)
....One side of your hands look elegant with your acrylic nails, the other side looks rough with calluses and orange spray tan.

lilylilylily
04-21-2016, 07:40 PM
When the songs you hear at work keep playing in your head when youre trying to get to sleep.

LoveyDovey
04-21-2016, 07:49 PM
When the songs you hear at work keep playing in your head when youre trying to get to sleep.

This happens to me all the time.

summerskye
04-24-2016, 07:22 AM
When your mother in law talks about how she misplaced a bunch of cash and you think she must have been a stripper

fallyn_love
04-24-2016, 09:09 AM
When you dont even carry a wallet anymore, you strap your money inside your thong while out shopping

whirlerz
04-24-2016, 09:57 AM
When you dont even carry a wallet anymore, you strap your money inside your thong while out shopping

How you do that??

charlie61
04-24-2016, 12:05 PM
When someone IRL tells you that you're beautiful, you're just like, nodding at them. They're looking for you to have some reaction to this statement, like, "thank you!" or "really? You think I'm beautiful?" But instead you're just like, yeah...a hundred people tell me that every week...come up with a better compliment plz?

SuperJa
04-24-2016, 05:03 PM
When someone IRL tells you that you're beautiful, you're just like, nodding at them. They're looking for you to have some reaction to this statement, like, "thank you!" or "really? You think I'm beautiful?" But instead you're just like, yeah...a hundred people tell me that every week...come up with a better compliment plz?

They really don't like when you respond "I know"

Selina M
04-24-2016, 05:40 PM
When you stash cash in multiple spots around your house and car, as a method of earmarking it for certain purposes, then forget where it is.

Similarly, paying for anything means pulling money not out of your wallet, but any random part of your purse, much to the cashiers weird looks.

arielbriel
04-24-2016, 09:00 PM
20% is never enough.

hippiechick
04-25-2016, 06:52 AM
20% is never enough.

YESS!

arielbriel
04-26-2016, 12:05 AM
You made $650 and you wonder why did you even leave the house lmao

whirlerz
04-26-2016, 07:06 AM
When shoes are like porn to you..

charlie61
04-26-2016, 07:49 PM
When you basically have two full sets of toiletries in the shower: one set for pre-work, another for non-work days.

fallyn_love
04-26-2016, 08:48 PM
How you do that??

I straighten all my ones together put them in my thong then fold them over in half.

SuperJa
04-26-2016, 09:01 PM
When you read in a fashion magazine that velour tracksuits are "back in" and you're like "but when did they leave" because at least one girl every night has shown up in one regardless of the club for the last 5 years I've worked

arielbriel
04-27-2016, 02:25 AM
You help customers sort out their money or credit card issues so you can make more money.
You know each individual banks' policies regarding late night/questionable transactions.

hippiechick
04-28-2016, 10:16 AM
When you basically have two full sets of toiletries in the shower: one set for pre-work, another for non-work days.

I just had to explain this to my new boyfriend. I have so much crap in my shower! Lol

charlie61
04-28-2016, 11:07 AM
I just had to explain this to my new boyfriend. I have so much crap in my shower! Lol

It's actually a big deal for me to smell different when I'm not working. My pre-work toiletries smell sweeter, and my non-work stuff smells more herbal, more grounding.

whirlerz
04-28-2016, 01:08 PM
You help customers sort out their money or credit card issues so you can make more money.
You know each individual banks' policies regarding late night/questionable transactions.

Hahaha, we're Financial Advisors! :teacher:

whirlerz
04-28-2016, 01:09 PM
I straighten all my ones together put them in my thong then fold them over in half.

Ok, I still don't get it..how do they stay?

fallyn_love
04-28-2016, 01:53 PM
Ok, I still don't get it..how do they stay?

Straighten them out really good, put them halfway in my thong then fold them over so the ends meet. They just stay because most of the time i wear jeans, pants nd my thongs are fit really well to wear my money doesnt come out.

LoveyDovey
04-28-2016, 08:59 PM
When you read in a fashion magazine that velour tracksuits are "back in" and you're like "but when did they leave" because at least one girl every night has shown up in one regardless of the club for the last 5 years I've worked

That would be me. I'm wearing one right now. Juicy foreva!!! Lol!!

arielbriel
04-29-2016, 03:39 PM
Your stripper thongs need their own drawer.

fallyn_love
05-01-2016, 12:09 PM
Rubbing alcohol nd baby wipes are an expense

22lligm
05-01-2016, 05:10 PM
When you get tired of lying about your job and when someone asks what you 'do for a living' you just say 'work' lol. I am so tired of coming up with excuses thats my new answer.

kaninchen
05-02-2016, 11:26 AM
You used to dislike trap music, but now you love it and find it really motivating for cleaning your house or working out, because it reminds you of all the $$$$$$$$ you make.

kaninchen
05-02-2016, 12:24 PM
When your diet is like:

Breakfast: Organic coffee with almond milk, 6 ounces of fresh squeezed juice that cost like $9, an egg white omelette, multivitamins and supplements

Lunch: Arugula with olive oil and balsamic vinegar, brown rice, 4 ounces lean protein like grilled chicken or tofu

During work: Veggie sticks and a protein bar plus lots of reverse osmosis-filtered water

After work "snack": An entire pizza with extra cheese and every topping, two milkshakes, four pounds of fries, a bottle of wine, a joint, Ambien

Canadiangoingsouth
05-04-2016, 07:00 PM
You know you're a stripper when you take outfit ideas, makeup ideas, and your slang from RuPaul's Drag Race

fallyn_love
05-05-2016, 03:22 PM
You find random dollars everywhere

lynn2009
05-05-2016, 04:03 PM
reverse osmosis-filtered water



Is this really a thing?

kaninchen
05-05-2016, 06:34 PM
Is this really a thing?

Yep! I read it once on a bottle of water and the phrase has just remained in my memory since.

ETA: Although I just looked it up and it would appear that it's fairly common as far as water purification goes, so I don't think it's anything special or high-tech.

hippiechick
05-06-2016, 07:48 AM
Yep! I read it once on a bottle of water and the phrase has just remained in my memory since.

ETA: Although I just looked it up and it would appear that it's fairly common as far as water purification goes, so I don't think it's anything special or high-tech.

I've worked in the water treatment industry before. RO water is super purified, by pushing water through very very fine filters, basically. It's needed for people with kidney issues, who can't deal with any hardness in their water. It's also used in high temp, high pressure boilers. Any impurity will drop out in those onditions and damage equipment. Your body actually needs the minerals often found in water. RO is totally unnecessary for dietary purposes in 99.9 ish% of people.

lilylilylily
05-07-2016, 03:39 AM
When you're treated like a Goddess at work and a normal person every where else.

hippiechick
05-10-2016, 02:10 PM
Your drugstore purchase consists of 4 bags of epsom salt, 3 bottles of nail polish, and 2 new makeup brushes lol.

rareaspasia
05-25-2016, 12:26 PM
You find a pair of brand new back Ellie stripper shoes at goodwill and realize half way through trying them on that your bent over with your skirt riding up with your ass hanging out with your loose tshirt hanging down in a way that shows your bra and cleavage, basically leaving nothing to the imagination, and all the little old abuelas and their grandchildren are staring at you. Whoopsy. Guess putting on stripper shoes made me slip into stripper mode without even thinking about it. And the shoes didn't fit, BTW.

kaninchen
05-25-2016, 02:03 PM
Your drugstore purchase consists of 4 bags of epsom salt, 3 bottles of nail polish, and 2 new makeup brushes lol.

I was literally just thinking about this earlier, except mine was Epsom salt, baby wipes, and fake lashes. Just the essentials!

kaninchen
05-25-2016, 02:05 PM
When you can crack the knuckles of your toes more than you can crack your fingers.

bbloveee09
09-12-2016, 02:55 PM
When you're pissed at your roommate for using all of your Dr. Teals Epsom salt foaming bath bubbles!

When everything seems expensive because you know the value of a dollar. But other times you splurge without thinking.

When you aren't afraid to speak up for yourself no matter who the person is. You aren't afraid of telling someone no and meaning it.