View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....
ScarletKitten
11-22-2017, 06:27 PM
When it's strange to you that some civilian women pay to enter night clubs to dance all night for free.
daisydukez
12-31-2017, 10:45 PM
Trying to hide the fact that you have a packet of gum on you from all of the girls in the DR
Once one knows, they all know!
carmen_b
12-31-2017, 10:54 PM
When you love to hire an assistant to go through your old computer and be your social media person for your business but then you CANT.
( my photo feed is something like 50% day job work and 50% my butt / boobs / nudes ect. )
I guess I'm on my own. I really had had so idea I took this many photos in the peak of my dancing, ha.
AlwaysAutumn
01-01-2018, 08:38 AM
When every otger number in your phone had either two first names or a description.
EX ) Mary/Morgana Club
555-555-5555
Gary Foot Fetish Good Tipper
555-867-5309
yeah that’s what my phone looks like...
come on it isn’t just me is it? Lol
Elle:)
01-01-2018, 09:51 AM
When outside of the club you randomly look at a guy, imagining how much he would spend if he was in the club.
Scarlett Monroe
02-21-2018, 05:45 AM
When you hear a popular song on the radio and you turn it off because you have heard it a million times in the club. Oh and that song becomes your most hated song of the year.
WendiStarr
02-21-2018, 12:38 PM
You order a pizza and when the delivery guy shows up, you pay him $20 in one dollar bills just because you have so many of them and want to get rid of some.
LoveyDovey
03-07-2018, 05:02 PM
*You learn the fine art of doing hair/makeup with ear buds in.
*You go into a dressing room and it has a wet thong drying on a fan. Ew.
Litch
03-08-2018, 08:52 PM
your jaw drops to the floor when a guy you're dating gives you a non-judgmental reaction to when you finally tell him what you actually do for work and you don't need to bust out the powerpoint slideshow on why what you do is an acceptable way to make a living and you are NOT a prostitute or a gold digging bimbo and you have a degree and an IRA and plenty of redeeming qualities
when all the references on your resume are just friends (read: other dancers) that are willing to lie for you if need be
LoveyDovey
03-08-2018, 10:40 PM
^^Lol!!!
trustfundkiller
04-05-2018, 12:42 AM
When you complain about having to wake up at 10AM, slightly oblivious to the fact that 10AM is a perfectly acceptable business hour to most everyone else.
Legz541
05-23-2018, 03:29 AM
Vagina issues are a legit reason to go home/call off. One of the girls left early tonight because she has BV. “If I can smell it, they can smell it and I refuse to be known as the girl with the smelly pussy.” Pretty hard to argue with that lol.
Ladycaxe
05-26-2018, 12:22 AM
you use your pleasers as a hammer.
Ladycaxe
05-26-2018, 12:22 AM
you find no point in dating broke men.
Ladycaxe
05-26-2018, 12:23 AM
if ANY man you meet doesn't treat you like an absolute goddess, he gets cut off real quick xDD
Ladycaxe
05-26-2018, 12:26 AM
When you hear a new song and your first thought isn't "i like this" but "I could dance to this!"
You need a second opinion on dresses for civilian occasions because you will either end up in something way too conservative or looking like a total slut cause you can't gauge what's "appropriate" anymore.
You crack up when your massage therapist makes you hold the blanket/cover places with your hands cause you're totally comfortable just being naked.
the first one ! tooooo true
Ladycaxe
05-26-2018, 12:34 AM
You know you have encountered a (moonlighting/ex/(semi)retired) stripper working at a regular bar when:
-customers are looking at their bills wide-eyed at the end of the night...and tipping 25% anyways because the ex-stripper has skilllz at 1) upselling those doubles and 2) getting people drunk without them realizing;)
-wins at shooting hard liquor and still managing to do their job...math and all
-kicks your ass at every round of "spot the escort"...yeah there's nothing out of the ordinary about that totally average dude with the perfectly done up 21 year old hottie at the bar...except maybe an extraordinarily fat wallet full of kaching
-sasses the thugs that all the other patrons/staff are scared shitless of
yeah, I'm loving my new gig quite a bit. Similar, still fun, good $, but customers DO NOT fuck with the hand that pours their liquor ;)
haha spot the escort....a skill I never thought I would have acquired
Elle:)
05-26-2018, 11:25 AM
When you drive through a really wealthy area and decide google search if they have any clubs.
Ladycaxe
05-30-2018, 04:08 PM
you regularly leave work feeling like u just fell down 2 flights of stairs ::) :-\ ::) :-\
Piper328
05-30-2018, 08:56 PM
When you complain about having to wake up at 10AM, slightly oblivious to the fact that 10AM is a perfectly acceptable business hour to most everyone else.
This is so true. Even 10AM could be considered sleeping in to a lot of people. I usually sleep in til like noon
chanzep
05-31-2018, 07:30 PM
When the holidays and school being out are a big deal because they can really effect your money.
ScarletKitten
06-01-2018, 12:07 PM
When you take a small stack of ones from a huge stack and estimate it to be about $27, which is what you need. You count it and it's exactly $27!
mz_melanie048
06-04-2018, 12:10 PM
When you’re watching a movie with nudity and a nipple is out and you’re wondering to yourself “where’s her duct tape?” (Because my club makes us wear duct tape as pasties :-P)
lucy-lou-who
10-05-2018, 06:16 PM
when you instinctively want to tell people they can't be on their phones in the main room and then remember you're just at a regular bar
kirakonstantin
10-06-2018, 11:10 AM
When you choose your outfit for a Monday class based on the leg bruises you got over the weekend.
allthatglitters
10-06-2018, 01:28 PM
OK, ladies and gents. I thought this would be a fun thread to start. I'll go first
You know you are a Stripper when........
1) You are in a public place, and a guy calls out your stage name, as you start to respond you realize he's not even talking to you.
2) You start to think of your future purchases in lap dances. Example: it's gonna take 5 lap dances for me to buy this new bracelet
Come on guys, start thinking. Let's see how funny, realistic or whatever this can get! 8)
I absolutely break down my nights like that!!! I need to do 12 dances for my phone bill, and then all money after can be for new jeans.. Ha!!
allthatglitters
10-06-2018, 01:28 PM
when you choose your outfit for a monday class based on the leg bruises you got over the weekend.
omg yes!!!
beverly_worldshaker
11-17-2018, 01:08 AM
when you spend too much on good razors so you use a new blade for the pussy, switch out the new one for the old one for the legs/pits. It's slow season, so it's time to save money but we KNOW if we use that dull razor on the pubes, it's gonna be folliculitus up in here & youll be out a week or 2. Oooh the weird little things we (or maybe just I) do.
kimbe
11-27-2018, 02:13 PM
When so very often lying to new people when they comment the nice tan and ask where you have been on vacation.. I figured that the best option was just to make up some exotic destination, hoping they hadn't been there and would start talking about it...
indiegirl
12-01-2018, 12:56 PM
When you see so many nude strippers on stage over time to the point it doesn't phase you when a new girl is naked. Then you start to think to yourself "I can't even understand why guys come here?!"
When women come into the club and say "wow I wish I had the balls to get naked on stage in front of strangers"....and I thought to myself, Oh I forgot I was naked right now.
Ladycaxe
03-08-2019, 02:07 PM
you use your pleasers to make money, as a hammer, and as a food processor when necessary
Ladycaxe
05-01-2019, 05:28 AM
When you wash your thongs with you, in the shower. Or Just me..?
SnuffleUffleGrass
05-01-2019, 06:28 AM
When you wash your thongs with you, in the shower. Or Just me..?
I've done it, saves time.
Adrienne7
05-01-2019, 07:25 AM
When you tell your sweetie your instructor at school must be doing quite well because you noticed his watch, and your sweetie starts laughing at your stripper radar
I always say hey, you can take the stripper out of the club, but can't take the club outta the stripper :D
arielbriel
05-01-2019, 01:20 PM
When people always ask you how you can vacation so much.
carmen_b
05-01-2019, 09:56 PM
You spend $2.50 to let a single black thong spin in the hotel dryer ..................
Gotta get through that last night. HAha.
305gurl
05-01-2019, 11:12 PM
Able to live in a nice condo and leasing a Lexus while giving vague answers on what-do-you-for-a-living questions from regular people.
asiangem001
05-03-2019, 11:29 AM
Haha I love this one, true
allthatglitters
05-06-2019, 11:39 AM
you use your pleasers to make money, as a hammer, and as a food processor when necessary
To open wine bottles, because no one brought a cork screw.....
whirlerz
05-06-2019, 03:19 PM
Damn, this thread makes me want to go back dancing!!!:boobies::dance::(
mz_melanie048
05-07-2019, 09:20 AM
You know you’re a stripper when you call everyone babe because it comes so naturally, including to the girl who held the door open for me at spin class. Then I felt stupid LOL
lilylilylily
05-07-2019, 12:31 PM
So true! It took me a very long time to get out of the habit of calling everyone babe, I even once called my mom babe lol
mz_melanie048
05-07-2019, 12:39 PM
So true! It took me a very long time to get out of the habit of calling everyone babe, I even once called my mom babe lol
I’m glad you feel my pain, BABE!!! Lol I was just in a good mood and it slipped today oopsies!
StellaRose
05-07-2019, 12:46 PM
When you work a vanilla sales job and have to avoid snickering when a man tells you “I’m interested, but let me ask my wife. Her opinion is more important.”
Elle:)
05-07-2019, 08:57 PM
When you do a big part of your grocery shopping right after work in the middle of the night.
Scarlett Monroe
05-08-2019, 06:15 AM
When you try to stop dancing for good but end up back dancing because it's what your good at lol
whirlerz
05-08-2019, 07:03 AM
When you try to stop dancing for good but end up back dancing because it's what your good at lol
Yea, this^
charlie61
05-12-2019, 07:07 PM
When you constantly notice mainstream fashion trends / outfits that look like stripperwear, and the double standard pisses you off. (Like, for real, VS models are given so much positive attention and respect as serious models, but half of what they wear looks like it came straight out of a strip club...yet strippers get judged...)
305gurl
05-13-2019, 05:45 AM
Your BS detector is keen.
When applying for a regular job, like retail, seems like a waste of time.
When you see, or know, a good-looking girl with a nice body working as a cashier and you empathize her and say to yourself "Girl, stop wasting your time and quit this shit, and strip."
Able to get $500+, cash, in a matter of half an hour though you don't think being thankful for it when the majority of people can't even make a quarter of it and living paycheck-to-paycheck. These days and being older, I'm totally super-thankful! :)
Scarlett Monroe
05-13-2019, 10:50 AM
When you do a big part of your grocery shopping right after work in the middle of the night.
I've done this tons of times!! Walmart was always my jam. I would sometimes spend like 3 to 6 hundred after work. What made it nice too is like 90% of the time it was the slow hours so barely anyone there .