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View Full Version : You know you are a Stripper when.....



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Taylorlila
08-09-2007, 07:03 AM
...when you get mad at your bf because the whole time you've been listening to this song thinking how you NEED to dance to it, but you don't know what its called, then he proceeds to talk over the DJ saying the title and artist.

sunnie
08-09-2007, 09:50 AM
...unless you're in a good mood, you tend to snarl at men hitting on you
...you have a day every week or two that you don't leave the house or answer your phone
...you have a secret hiding place for cash
...you have to lie to family members about how you're able to afford your vacations/free time/big TV's/etc

and yes... grocery store trips involve flip flops... and who wants to waste that make-up anyways??

Holy crap Bella...this is on point for me.



How about:

When you have to have a damn good reason to go out on a weekend night because you would rather be making money.

When all you money stinks like an ashtray.

You have worked with people for months and can't remember their name.

You wear ankle length dresses more often than anyone you know.

StrawberrySwitchblade
08-09-2007, 07:35 PM
When you would kill for a baby wipe to freshen up on a hot day, but kick yourself because they are all in your locker.

Roulette
08-11-2007, 12:24 PM
You have worked with people for months and can't remember their name.

...or just dont know their name.

when someone asks to get something out of your purse that doesnt know your a stripper you have to pause and think if there is a garter or flashy thong in it.

you feel like you're 80 when you crouch down to get something off a shelf.

you have odd bruises all over your body that you cant explain to everyone.

you sometimes forget to put clothes of when the food delivery guy come to the door.

sitting in a bar in only your underwear isn't weird at all to you.

britt244
08-11-2007, 12:34 PM
When you have to have a damn good reason to go out on a weekend night because you would rather be making money.

and your friends dont understand why you can't just take a saturday night off!

Lysondra
08-11-2007, 05:09 PM
^Nobody understood why it was such a big deal I took a Friday night off for them. It sucked. :/

Serendipity7
08-12-2007, 11:37 PM
oh, oh, oh,

when you have 3 names:

your fake name
your real name
and your fake real name.

Hahahaha I literally laughed out loud when I read this. SO true. :P

madmaxine
08-13-2007, 04:14 PM
...your reward for working out is...a cigarette.

...3-5 extra pounds of weight is a crisis

...you can spot PL type dudes a mile away, in any setting

...you think Tonalin CLA is the best thing EVAR

...your friends tell you to quit absentmindedly fondling your breasts...You're in public!!!

shane333
08-13-2007, 08:25 PM
Ahh, I've finally worked long enough to have some of these relate to me!


When you go to a nightclub and someone comes up to you while you're dancing and asks if you're a stripper. (I was actually mildly embarrassed by this.)
Baby wipes, power bars and mascara are the most important item on your grocery list.
When you're with your boyfriend and every thing he does makes you think, "That's at least worth a dollar."
When it comes to drinking, you are no longer a cheap date.
No one can understand unless they are or have danced.
Everything gets evaluated as stripper clothes.

blaze_n_hot
08-13-2007, 08:45 PM
When you're at a nightclub, and someone sticks a doller in your pocket when you're dancing! ;D

Windy
08-14-2007, 04:32 AM
- you make your b/f to count your pile of ones cuz u dont like it ha
or u tell your little sis if she counts all of your ones and puts them in stacks, you'll let her have 50 of em.

-bikinis have two purposes. beach and work.

- when u laugh to yourself when other girls/friends say they could never wear those "huge stripper heels"

-you laugh because a friend said she'd be embaraased to wear her thong bikini to the beach or a too much of a "revealing" outfit on a night out (this is nothing to you ha)

-money is never an issue

Lysondra
08-14-2007, 04:36 AM
- you make your b/f to count your pile of ones cuz u dont like it ha
or u tell your little sis if she counts all of your ones and puts them in stacks, you'll let her have 50 of em.

-bikinis have two purposes. beach and work.

- when u laugh to yourself when other girls/friends say they could never wear those "huge stripper heels"

-you laugh because a friend said she'd be embaraased to wear her thong bikini to the beach or a too much of a "revealing" outfit on a night out (this is nothing to you ha)

-money is never an issue

And they're talking about the 5" ones and you can't help but laaaauugh.

KiwiDan
08-14-2007, 04:36 AM
If Walt disney knew what you were packing into that little mermaid suitcase he'd be shocked.

Delight
08-14-2007, 08:59 AM
You tell time by number of songs. Instead of saying you will be at the lake in 20 minutes, you say you will be there in 4-5 songs.

Lysondra
08-14-2007, 05:54 PM
Ugh, I had one happen to me yesterday.

I bought a shirt I thought was SUPER cool because it said 'New York Dolls' on it. I was happy because I thought it was the strip club New York Dolls, so me wearing it would be funny. I was later corrected that the New York Dolls my shirt refers to is, in fact, a band.

RoseWhite
08-14-2007, 06:20 PM
^^ The New York Dolls ruled, however (if you're into glam a la T-Rex and Bowie), so you win either way!

Minette
08-16-2007, 10:04 PM
Whenever men look at you when you're out at public, you become convinced they must be a customer. :spy:

Also, you get pissy about it - 'I'm not at work right now, so don't look at me dammit - if I'm not getting paid, I ain't smiling.'

dancersrights
08-16-2007, 10:31 PM
...you don't think twice about changing in the middle of the public bathroom while all the other women become a gasp...

...you understand and can relate to why the beautiful girl in front of the grocery line has many bruises on her knees...

Lysondra
08-17-2007, 03:56 AM
Whenever men look at you when you're out at public, you become convinced they must be a customer. :spy:

Also, you get pissy about it - 'I'm not at work right now, so don't look at me dammit - if I'm not getting paid, I ain't smiling.'

I hide in the toilet when I arrive early to a paid shift. I am not talking to them for free. Nu-uh.

Roulette
10-02-2007, 08:58 PM
And they're talking about the 5" ones and you can't help but laaaauugh.
Oh sooo true!! and all you can think is It's harder to walk in low heels... Sad thing is I owned three pairs of dance shoes before I even started dancing and one pair of patent leather thigh high stilettos.

when people have to tell you that taking a garter off on the sidewalk is not necessarily the best idea.

when people look at you funny in the diner because you just got off work, you're hungry, your makeup is intense and you're wearing yoga pants and a tank top and you're separating singles into stacks of hundreds.

when you convince yourself a garter will look the same as an old school scrunchie... it won't, it never does, but whatever - still did it.

when you go perfume shopping and almost everything smells like the dressingroom.

when you find yourself absentmindedly dancing with the pole on the subway a little too sensually - or all out pole dancing when no one is on the car, then notice the people in the next care staring at you.

Gypsy74
10-02-2007, 09:13 PM
when you find yourself absentmindedly dancing with the pole on the subway a little too sensually - or all out pole dancing when no one is on the car, then notice the people in the next care staring at you.

I did this when i took the red eye and was half asleep and delirious switching planes in the atlanta airport. the subway underground is full of perfect stripper poles and I was absentmindedly twirling around it and dancing with it.. looked over to the car in front of me and all the people were staring

Taylorlila
10-03-2007, 06:51 AM
-When eating dinner with your boss and coworkers in a thnog and nothing else is an everyday occurence.

pseudomonas
10-03-2007, 06:33 PM
you have odd bruises all over your body that you cant explain to everyone.

you sometimes forget to put clothes of when the food delivery guy come to the door.

YES. omg.

my right leg is one giant bruise. my left leg, not so much. i must favor landing on my right to do floor work or something.

but also, the guy from bw3's came the other day with my boyfriend's and my food... i was in the bedroom and wasn't even thinking when i told my bf i'd get it, so i went to the door in just panties... omfg. i don't think the guy minded, but then a couple days later the same delivery guy came back, and my bf got the door... he looked terrified.

Gypsy74
10-03-2007, 08:39 PM
-When eating dinner with your boss and coworkers in a thnog and nothing else is an everyday occurence.

lol so true. I never thought I'd have the confidence to eat in a room surrounded by mirrors in a g-string!!!

sun child
10-03-2007, 08:42 PM
You know you're a stripper when the prospect of $300-400 a night just doesn't matter anymore because it doesn't seem worth the effort and tax on your soul it will take to get, so you don't work for a month and live of the thousands you made the month before.

Gypsy74
10-03-2007, 08:48 PM
You know you're a stripper when the prospect of $300-400 a night just doesn't matter anymore because it doesn't seem worth the effort and tax on your soul it will take to get, so you don't work for a month and live of the thousands you made the month before.

OMG THIS IS SO ME RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!

Fawn
10-03-2007, 09:47 PM
^^^ Yeah, I'v ebeen having to blow off work for studying and I'm just like, eh, I'll make it up after exams, thank god I have savings.

Andygirl
10-05-2007, 03:52 AM
-When eating dinner with your boss and coworkers in a thnog and nothing else is an everyday occurence.


This used to bother me a lot. I don't know why. When I first started dancing I'd see the girls eating and I just couldn't do it unless I was at least wearing one of my costumes. Now I don't really eat anything at work so I don't have the issue.

But, unless you are in the dressing room you should never just be lounging around topless! That's giving it away.

hustlebunny
10-05-2007, 06:20 AM
You know you're a stripper when the prospect of $300-400 a night just doesn't matter anymore because it doesn't seem worth the effort and tax on your soul it will take to get, so you don't work for a month and live of the thousands you made the month before.

LOL...i've been trying to get my ass into work for two weeks now

When you walk around the dressing room of the gym/spa naked with ease all tatooed up and women are agast

When you are never available to socialize and people think you are soooo busy

when you go shopping and think well it only costs x amount of dances or x nights of work

you have a collection of origami dollar bills on a shelf from "BARTENDING" wink wink ;)

veronicavale
10-05-2007, 06:28 AM
...you point your toes subconsciously like you're doing floorwork. But you're not doing floorwork, you're stretching at the gym. (I did this last week and freaked out when I realized it!)

Taylorlila
10-05-2007, 06:29 AM
This used to bother me a lot. I don't know why. When I first started dancing I'd see the girls eating and I just couldn't do it unless I was at least wearing one of my costumes. Now I don't really eat anything at work so I don't have the issue.

But, unless you are in the dressing room you should never just be lounging around topless! That's giving it away.


We eat out back, so its not really giving it all away to anybody besides coworkers.

britt244
10-05-2007, 09:18 AM
^ haha, i used to think it was so weird that i didnt mind getting naked in front of my boss & coworkers. its still weird to think about how it doesnt bother me.

IvyLee
10-05-2007, 10:12 AM
you have a collection of origami dollar bills on a shelf from "BARTENDING" wink wink ;)

haha im looking at my dollar bill armadillo, boot, bunny, hat, and rabbit.
I also have a collection of $2 bills. Jefferson is on them

Cassandra39
10-05-2007, 11:58 AM
^ haha, i used to think it was so weird that i didnt mind getting naked in front of my boss & coworkers. its still weird to think about how it doesnt bother me.

OMG I know the other night I was out with friends and saw my club owner out with a couple bouncers at a regular night club and realized "wow, all of them have seen me naked." Being outside of the club and realizing this was so weird.

AudreyLeigh
10-05-2007, 01:11 PM
:rotfl: :rotfl: This actually happened to me....SO EMBARASSING!!! You know you're a stripper when... you go the Doctor's for a physical and when he tells you to bend over and touch your toes, you turn around...put your ass right to his face and bend over and touch your toes thinking nothing of it...until he clears his throat and says to you...."Um... ma'am, could you please face me?" Luckily he was the only Doctor in there....LOL! :rotfl: :rotfl: DDdddddeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! UH....Sorry, Doc!!!!!!!!

This freakin kills me.... hahahhahh

AudreyLeigh
10-05-2007, 01:19 PM
When youre at a store and all of a sudden you smell the "stripper smell"... that happens to me... someone will walk by and all of a sudden I have dressingroom flashbacks.

ExoticEngineer
10-05-2007, 04:55 PM
When someone in a group casually makes a negative remark re: stripping. ie, "she's dressed like a stripper" and you give them a dirty look.

When you put your make up on and then have to take it all back off and do it over because you realized you were going to the movies, not work! :P

miss marina
10-05-2007, 05:03 PM
When someone in a group casually makes a negative remark re: stripping. ie, "she's dressed like a stripper" and you give them a dirty look.


hahah true. I give out the evil glaring eye alot!!

Lysondra
10-05-2007, 05:24 PM
When someone in a group casually makes a negative remark re: stripping. ie, "she's dressed like a stripper" and you give them a dirty look.

When you put your make up on and then have to take it all back off and do it over because you realized you were going to the movies, not work! :P

I always have to check my makeup for being overly stripper. I use glitter and purples for work... and have now realized if I'm not at work, just use the brown and white palette so I don't get confused anymore.

Roulette
10-08-2007, 09:40 PM
When youre at a store and all of a sudden you smell the "stripper smell"... that happens to me... someone will walk by and all of a sudden I have dressingroom flashbacks.

^^^ Too true!! Sometimes if I mix one of my shampoos and conditioners I get that smell and then it's in my hair and it's all I smell!!


When someone in a group casually makes a negative remark re: stripping. ie, "she's dressed like a stripper" and you give them a dirty look.

^^^ OMG this guy I work with talked shit on strippers so hard and I ripped him a new asshole then realized I sounded super defensive. I tried to cover with "My best friend was a stripper and she's nothing like you're little stereotype... ya fuck!!"

You know you're a stripper when with every song you hear you think about how you can work it on stage and what song would be good to follow or precede it.

You know you miss dancing when every pole you pass you reach out for as if to spin yourself around it... God I do this waaaay too often. If no one is around I play around for a minute.

iambonbon05
10-08-2007, 10:20 PM
When you're bored and watching tryouts for Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders on CMT and keep thinking DAMN that would make a great stripper outfit when seeing their workout outfits/costumes.

I saw a sequiny tie bra thing that I really want, lol.

Taylorlila
10-09-2007, 07:11 AM
I always have to check my makeup for being overly stripper. I use glitter and purples for work... and have now realized if I'm not at work, just use the brown and white palette so I don't get confused anymore.

haha me to. I either wear mascara and eyeliner or my "stripper face" so sometimes I have a hard time finding a happy medium if I'm going out or something.

Victoryx0x0
10-14-2007, 08:34 PM
- you have mastered the smokey eye and can complete it within 2 minutes.
- your bathtub has to be scrubbed clean every 3 days to get rid of that glittery bronze ring
- you have severely jealous (swf type) ex-best friends...
- always have to tell a sales clerk you are a bartender while concealing your embarassment
- jump at the chance of giving change for a $20 to someone standing in front of you at a vending machine.
- dance with your hands against the wall and your booty tooted out while at a normal dance club (closest resemblence to a pole)
- your boyfriend's part time job is an accountant/body bronzer/hair curler/personal stylist/makeup specialist
- you have to replace your money bags every month because it has torn apart and busted its seams
- you now permanently arch your back, suck in your stomach an sway your hips while you walk
- you get asked daily if you are in an abusive relationship from all the bruises all over your legs and yet you are still stumped when thinking of a reasonable excuse
- you get nervous when out in public with your hubby when some fat ugly looking dude does a double look (did he see me naked before??ugggh)
- you spend more money on dancing outfits and shoes then regular clothes and shoes
- you think a good pair of dancing shoes as a wise investment
- a broken heel is a life ending and dangerous crisis
- you know how to make a stumble on a slippery lotion (grr) lubed up stage look like a new dancing move.
- when you wish you had a twin who was walking the bar making more $ while you were busy dancing on stage to a crowd of non stage tippers
- Buy something and say "wow, not bad that only cost me 4 dances
- you no longer blush while feeling a new boob job on one of your co-workers
- you have a pumice stone for your feet at your day job and use it every morning
- run from anyone who has bad breath/b.o on clock or off clock
- Have a stash hidden in your home seperated into $1's, $5's, $10's, $20's, $100's
- wished your bouncer was your own personal bodyguard for when ur off the clock
- dream about new moves on the pole
- nightmares about that super ugly guy who comes in regularly just to see you

rozz
10-15-2007, 07:38 AM
- you get asked daily if you are in an abusive relationship from all the bruises all over your legs and yet you are still stumped when thinking of a reasonable excuse


Three words: I play rugby. Works for me.

ajbaer
04-25-2008, 12:45 PM
This happened yesterday, my fav thong to my outfit I wanted wear was dirty. I only had 20 minutes left to leave for work. So, I handwashed and rinsed it really quickly, hung it on my seatbelt with the window down and drove to work (1 hour) plus make a few stops. It worked, and got a kick outta it from some girls at work :P

vivianbear
04-25-2008, 01:02 PM
When someone in a group casually makes a negative remark re: stripping. ie, "she's dressed like a stripper" and you give them a dirty look.


Funny. I see women dressed in what are literally stripper costumes (cheesy bright colors, neon lycra) in night clubs and I think, why is she dressed like a stripper? Not out of negativity but more out of curiosity.
I know I'm a stripper when Halloween comes around and I have a set budget for costumes, make-up, props, ect at the Halloween superstores. I can't remember the last time I dressed up for the actual holiday, though.

Bella21
04-25-2008, 02:29 PM
You regularly wake up at noon, feeling like you've been hit by a truck, but you haven't been drinking the night before.

Bella21
04-25-2008, 02:31 PM
Three words: I play rugby. Works for me.

"My midget bf beats me" Then I laugh at them. I have no social etiquette... none.

Gypsy14
04-25-2008, 02:38 PM
When youre at a store and all of a sudden you smell the "stripper smell"... that happens to me... someone will walk by and all of a sudden I have dressingroom flashbacks.


This one completely hits home for me. I smell the "dressing room" smell and it drives me CRAZY.
There is also a very strong perfume that one girl wore at the very first club I worked at a few years ago, and to this day, I still smell that smell and it gives me such a rush of nostalgia, it's unbelievable.

noelle
04-25-2008, 04:24 PM
Yeah, whenever I smell a lot of body sprays and perfumes I get a stripper flashback. Particularly Lovespell... ugh!