View Full Version : Lap Dances are cheating?
toxicgirl
02-28-2005, 01:13 AM
as long as both parties are honest about it and it's ok with both, then it's not cheating.
Bunny
02-28-2005, 11:32 PM
My boyfriend actually used to go to stripclubs a lot when he was with his ex because he was very unhappy and being very much mistreated by her (she was cheating a lot) but he didn't want to cheat. So he'd go to strip clubs to interact with other women and kind of have a thrill but not actually cheat. Now I can barely get him to go to a strip club with me (he used to go constantly) and the one time we went he wouldn't get a dance in front of me. He said he was worried he'd be too touchy feely with the girl in front of me and I told him it wouldn't bother me but he still wouldn't do it.
Stipperella
03-02-2005, 02:13 PM
I didn't read all the posts but i don't think its cheating and well maybe a gf or wife would think its cheating but really come on maybe the guy goes in there thinking one way, but we all know that pretty much all the dancers are there just to work not because they really like the guys. So therefore, i dont' think its cheating. If my bf or husband would go i'd be like big deal you idiot those girls are after your money not you. But of course a good dancer isn't gonna let him know that.
LovelyLaura
03-02-2005, 02:53 PM
I don't think its cheating at all...but to each their own, everybody is different and has their own perceptions on what they view is right or wrong.
If my hubby wants to go to a strip club and get hot lap dances from the girls, who cares?? Hes cummin home to me baby! As long as I get details, and vice-versa! But then again, we are a pretty, umm, openminded couple. We are best friends and tell each other EVERYTHING and thats why we can do the things we do, and not have any hangups about it. :)
ironjocelyn
03-02-2005, 09:14 PM
As others have said, each couple has to define their boundaries and respect them.
That being said, I have no problem with my BF going to a club and getting dances, and I make sure they tip well. However, I am from the 'look but don't touch' school of thought, and if this was a club where you get a dancer to grind over your dick, I would not be happy about that. A little touching if the dancer is cool with it is ok, but being basically fucked through your clothes is not kosher to me, it just seems really skeevy. And I don't want to date no skeeves. Also if my BF was spending significant amounts of time and/or money I'd be pissed. He should be spending his time and money on me dammit ;)
edited to add: I don't think dancers are skeevy, I have no problem with dancers doing their job even if that includes a very up close and personal lap dance. They're just providing a service, it's the customers who get those that I consider skeevy for creating the demand.
kryssy
03-03-2005, 12:31 AM
Everyone has their own opinion of cheating and here is mine. I would rather my Husband go to a strip club than I would for him to go to a normal bar. At the strip club he can look and get dances yes, but it is not going any farther. At a regular bar, there are woman that will take things alot farther. There I said it. WWWWHHHHHHHOOOO.
Madcap
03-03-2005, 01:08 AM
I wasn't aware masturbation was cheating, since that's about what it boils down to. Unless someone is loose and someone is listening to the tiny head...
choochick
12-04-2005, 06:11 AM
I don't think that a lap dance qualifies as cheating. Of course people measure cheating differently, but cheating to me would mean crossing a line of intimacy which involves real feelings. When you share a part of yourself with someone other than your partner or spouse. A lap dance is basically a service, yes a very enjoyable one at times, but a service, a customer pays a dancer to dance for him. How would that qualify as cheating?
:-\
skyy_blondie
12-04-2005, 09:52 AM
i think it all depends on the context of the dance...in a way i guess it is cheating, cause i'm not sure i'd want my bf getting a dance...but i understand it's a hustle more than anything also. if a person is uncomfortable about it then it would be cheating i think, but if it's okay with them then whatever goes i guess. glad i'm single 4 right now cause i'm sure it would def be an issue in most relationships....
auburnengineer
05-24-2006, 08:02 AM
It all depends on the particular situation. I don't think that a guy should go to a strip club at all if the girl disapproves. Beyond that...the details will vary based off of what the girl is comfortable with the guy doing. I think that a simple innocent couch dance should be fine in any case that a girl approves of the strip club atmosphere, but anything above a no contact dance is getting into that gray area. Check with your partner first because there is no right or wrong answer here. It's about respecting your partner.
southstbabe
05-24-2006, 08:48 AM
Sleeping with someone else besides your wife, husband, bf, gf is cheating. I don't think going to a SC is cheating or getting a lap dance is cheating. Not telling the person in your life what you're doing or where you're going, ie hitting a SC, is lying and undermines trust, it's not cheating. If you're getting extra's, that's cheating.
pipermarau
05-24-2006, 11:45 AM
i believe that what happens in a couple's bed is sacred and not for judgement. now a days the bed extends beyond the bedroom. if a couple engages in three somes and all parties are consensual it is acceptable. it says so in the bible (if should any of you read it and follow it with faith) and i believe that is true. i believe that for many couples strip clubs are a form of foreplay and the stumilation they get from them is taken to the bedroom, back seat of a car, alley, laundry room, etc. for couples who don't agree on strip clubs it can be viewed as a betrayal for either partner. i know of men who think their women are cheating when they buy toys or go to strip clubs (either men or women dancing). i'm going with the more common response posted in this thread: if you hide it and sneak around, it must be wrong, and is therefore cheating. there are kings that have been known to bring other men and women to their matromonial bed to conceive a child as the heir to the throne when one could not produce children. orgies...lots of them flow through history and only now is it taboo (granted that some people were looked down upon for it, it still was more widely accepted then because it was for "breeding" purposes)
terra
10-15-2006, 12:58 PM
"Sorry, I can't have a lapdance with you, I'm married - it would be cheating. But I would like to take you out for dinner ;)"
Getting extra's would be cheating in my book. Getting a dance without extras would not be cheating. If the guy is getting a dance without the wife knowing, but no extras, it's not cheating but it's underhanded. If the wife has expressed she doesnt want him going and still does anyway, then it's a breech of trust. The extras would no doubt constitute cheating in my mind. But on the same note, the married man who comes in and trys to establish the GFE, is just as much of a cheater as someone who goes for extras. Emotionally cheating is just as much cheating as physically cheating is. In all honesty emotional cheating can be far more dangerous to a relationship than physical cheating can be.
Bob_Loblaw
10-15-2006, 07:37 PM
I was thinking along the same lines as Terra. To play devil's advocate, for those of you who feel strongly that it is cheating, how would you respond if a customer declined a dance because he said he was married or in a serious relationship?
Bob_Loblaw
10-15-2006, 07:40 PM
Lap dances or not, customers who take off their wedding rings are cheating IMHO. Sat across from a guy once who fumbled in his pockets looking for change to pay the waitress and dropped his wedding ring in her tray by accident.
lola025
10-21-2006, 09:31 AM
I was thinking along the same lines as Terra. To play devil's advocate, for those of you who feel strongly that it is cheating, how would you respond if a customer declined a dance because he said he was married or in a serious relationship?
I would totally respect that and move on.
Yekhefah
10-21-2006, 09:36 AM
Cheating isn't about sex, it's about secrecy, betrayal, and lies. Lapdances (or even sex) aren't cheating if both parties in the relationship are open and honest and okay with it. But they would be cheating if one party would consider it a betrayal, and the other one goes behind her back and does it anyway.