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lenny_nero
09-16-2005, 03:15 PM
Yes, it's wrong to blame the dancer for the gentleman's indescretion. However, I've seen bachelor parties (only at the clubs I've worked at-I've never done or been to a private) at which the groom's friends get him completely wasted and then throw him into VIP with the raunchiest girl in the house. A man's general reasoning skills are....a little compromised at best. So...it's also the friend's faults when a guy like this strays at the bachelor party. A sober man who does it will likely do it again anyway.

I have to disagree. If you can't keep your junk in your pants when you're wasted, don't go out and get wasted with a dancer around (or in a singles bar for that matter). These guys know ahead of time when they're going to get into a compromising situation, so just avoid it--stay sober or keep your wits about you. The ones who don't wanted to get away with something to start with.

To me that's like someone sleeping with an ex, then saying that they had dinner and some drinks and went home to chat and had some more drinks and then were drunk and wound up in bed--there's a reason you don't bring an ex home alone to your place and get wasted, and if you do then you can't blame things on the situation. You let the situation develop in the first place.


I've also seen girls at the clubs reach over the rail to grab the bachelor and shove their tongues down his throat on stage, while the poor guy is struggling to get away, so....sometimes the dancers are a little more sexually agressive than they need to be at a bachelor party.

I agree. At that point the guy's not acting improperly. If they kept trying to be persistent I'd say he should bail so he's not in that environment, but if they're just getting a little feisty and they back off when he lets them know the boundaries that's another thing.

Kinda like the guy who wants to touch you during a dance; if you say no and he respects that, that's okay. If he keeps trying and won't take no for an answer, you probably ought to bail if you don't want it to escalate.

naughtynaomi
09-16-2005, 09:31 PM
To me that's like someone sleeping with an ex, then saying that they had dinner and some drinks and went home to chat and had some more drinks and then were drunk and wound up in bed--there's a reason you don't bring an ex home alone to your place and get wasted, and if you do then you can't blame things on the situation. You let the situation develop in the first place.

I think that's kind of different...in a bachelor party situation a man isn't alone with someone he already knows, bringing them home, and then proceeding to sleep with them...he's surrounded by friends who, at the parties I've been witness to, are egging him on to drink more than he should ever drink in the first place. Now, I agree that a man should be able to exercise some self control and refuse to succumb to "peer pressure" and stop drinking when he feels he should, and I'm not saying that it's OK for a guy to do something classified as "cheating", but most people want to place the blame soley on the bachelor or the dancer....my point was that sometimes it's the groom's friends that get him into the "improper" situation in the first place, if that makes any sense.

Vixen608
09-28-2005, 01:05 PM
I think you can't always blame the strippers..but yes I would not like my man to have a private party, a strip club is fine..but kissing or anything past that crosses the line and it would be off. I mean he is suppose to love you, and getting nasty with a stripper is not love. Lap dances are cool, I mean I buy my bf those and I have fun watching him but anything else that is a big no no!

cinammonkisses
09-28-2005, 02:19 PM
Also, my former husband did in fact cheat on me the night of his bachelor party. Not with a dancer, but with the girl that eventually sang at our wedding.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I hope you whopped both their asses Amethyst! >:(

liah
02-17-2006, 04:47 AM
Hmm. Tough subject. I am a stripper who doesn't go the mileage...and suppose even if it would bother me that he would go to the strip club, I have absolutely no room to talk! I guess the things that bother me about it are:

1. By having to have a "final fling" before marriage kind of negates the fact that you have been together or living together for --insert time fram here--, and have been committed for that time.
2. Suposedly this is their last chance to do things that could be considered cheating before he gets married; the problem is that recent stats show around 60 percent of men cheat on their wife....

I guess I won't put much more thought into it seeing that at the rate I'm going I'll never get married. haha!

exotisch23
02-17-2006, 04:54 AM
Those women from theknot.com talk about how they don't want their men going to strip clubs because they don't trust them or their men don't go to strip clubs but the guys probably DO go behind their backs..

. I have nothing wrong w/my man going, as long as he takes me with sometimes, he can't have all the fun!!

KittenCaboodle
02-19-2006, 01:58 PM
The last bachelor party I did the brides father informed me his daughter sent him along to make sure things didnt get "outta control" ,I told the father to reasure his daughter because I'm not intrested in her fiancee only his money!

I'm gonna be a bride in june & dont care if my fiancee has strippers on his bucks

swtoppua
02-19-2006, 02:25 PM
WAYYYY overanalyzed.

Male perspective at bachelor party: Yeeee hawwww. Girls......hahahah yipeee.
....
[Next day]: Dude, where's my car? Dude, where's my wallet?

Seriously that's about it for us. Stop nagging us already. It's the nagging that'll make us leave you, not another woman. ;D

Gia2608
03-02-2006, 07:18 PM
LOL- Lots of women hate strippers even though they've probably never in their life met someone who danced in a titty bar. One time, I was getting my hair extensions done and my stylist was busy so her cousin was taking my old hair out . Somehow the topic of a strip club came up and the cousin said "Strippers need Jesus", my stylist was so embarrased- it was pretty funny actually.

As far as bachelor parties go I feel bad for a guy who would marry a woman that is so jealous she wouldn't allow him to have a bachelor party. Good luck dealing with that insecurity for the next fifty years!

scarymary77
03-02-2006, 11:09 PM
i dont hate dancers, they are just doing their job. i put the responsibility on the guy (or girl) i'm with. but i dont believe in bachelor parties. most of this is because many of the weddings i went to were from different cultures where bachelor parties were not practiced. it's not just the stripper aspect, i dont like the idea of marriage being viewed as a 'dread'- it should be far from it. no wonder why the divorce rate is so big here compared to the many friends of my family who are from different cultures: hindu, hasidic jew. if someone 'dreads' marrying me, then s/he is not worthy of me.

my biggest concern is that i come from a dancer's perspective. i am in fear that the guy will do something to the girl she is not cool with and will likely do something bad to me. it's just from my experiences. sorry, but i cant get over that.

i do also think that the parties should be a mutual agreement between the partners. i dont think it's very nice to go and have a wild night behind your lover's back.

Pure
03-06-2006, 06:57 PM
I'm having a co ed bachelor/ bacholerette party.We both are young and want to have a good timw w/ our friends. It doesn;t have to be this traditional bullshit- our night will include the stripclub where we will both enjoy some lapdances but not be centered around it. That said- if my man were going to have a bachelor party OTC, i would be slightly worried. Obviously I understand the confines of the club and that is a safe atmosphere. Some hotel suite is different. My fiancee is young , very attractive, and not cheap. It would be different if I were marrying a 37 yr old guy with crooked teeth and a beer gut. Maybe not fair but true.

tori1982
06-10-2006, 11:40 PM
its silly but i refused to let my boyfriend go to a bachelor party in vegas because of strippers, im a dancer and i know its all about the money but i couldnt handle him giving money to other girls if they went to a strip club. he doesnt even really have the money to spend on me so i didnt want him going to a strip club. hell he has a stripper at home! its ridiculous but hey we're girls! i had a mormon bachelor who was getting married who wanted to 'run away' with me. i think that ruined it all!

fancygirl
06-11-2006, 12:23 AM
I've done bachelor parties, as well as the other typical types of parties (and not so typical; the funniest excuse for a strip party was a competition between a group of guys on who could grow the longest mustache -eyeroll-) for about two of the three years that I've danced. I can agree that fiancees shouldn't lie about having a party, but there seems to be a big chunk of the men who's women know their at a stag party, so it's not something that I'm overly worried about.
I do think that while the stag parties for both sexes have bad connotations at their roots about being wild and crazy before being dragged down by the ol' ball and chain, a lot of people don't take that very seriously. The hookers posing as strippers is very wrong, and that does cross a line. I think even heavy grinding crosses the line. Yet, because I tend to give zero mileage in and out of the club, I find that party clientel to me are safer (with security, and an address) and don't press my boundaries as much as the club clientel. Bachelor party guys, for the most part, are getting a kick at being mildly naughty.
There have only been a really small percentage of the parties where one or a couple guys have asked for extras. I think only once has that been the actual bachelor himself.

I have to agree with whoever was posting about the culpability of the groom's friends. Think about it: when you go out to drink with friends for a celebration that's based on you, you KNOW you're probably going to get shit faced, but you're OKAY with it because you expect your friends to protect you and that includes keeping you from embarrassing yourself with the dancer (granted, not like the friends would be in VIP, but there's still a level of control.) There have been several times where groups of guys have set me up with one of the guys in particular because I'm not the barracuda out to suck dick. I'm sure there are some groomsmen who find it hilarious to seek out said barracudas and sic them on the groom. And that really sucks because that's a violation of trust, ESPECIALLY if the groom really isn't the type to do that. imagine the guilt there...though, I'm sure the dancers realize just how drunk the guy is and shouldn't be doing extras on someone that out of control of their facilities.

Back to the original question: Would I be okay with a dancer dancing up on my boyfriend or for my fiance? Yes. Most likely I might be a little hesitant about the dancer, so I would probably recommend (if I was still in the biz at that point) the good dancers who I know would give the party a good time but also still have boundaries.

I'd be okay with the shower show, the babyoil rub down, the candle trick, possibly even the pearl and the lollipop thing. I wouldn't want him licking whip cream off of her breasts or coochie, and I'd most definitely be okay with the paddle or the belt.

I wonder how many brides have gotten pissed of at me for biting their fiance's nipple through a dollar? I don't break through the dollar, and I tend to let up when the guy starts to scream. I think I've only had one complaint and that was from a repeat customer. he was one of those tough guys who wouldn't make a sound, so I gave him what I thought he could take (the game is called "man or boy" by the way.) I saw him months later and he was like, yeah, don't do that to me tonight. You left a scar.

Whoops.

Lysondra
06-11-2006, 12:32 AM
Whoa. Old post revived. o_o

noshi
06-11-2006, 02:30 AM
This is a trust issue. If the SO was worried that her boyfriend might do something dishonest (cheat, break up, whatever) then the ultimate problem is NOT the guy it's the woman. Paranoia isn't a healthy trait. She will be constantly doubting her husband of what he is 'really' doing. She might even cheat on the presumption that he is probably cheating as well (see where paranoia gets us?). I don't have any opinion about whether a bachelor(ette) party is right or wrong but throw some distrust or low self worth and you have yourself a relationship just begging to blow up. As for that argument 'men cheat', well lets admit it. Everyone cheats (I don't mean 'everyone' as in all people I mean both men and women). You can live in fear that your SO will cheat or do the right thing and TALK about it. You have a mouth and a brain. Use them.

Djoser
06-11-2006, 03:32 AM
Bachelor parties are the most inane of all the many traditional wedding rituals.

If you are a groom, what do the guys who are supposed to be your best friends do? Have you completely and utterly humiliated onstage?! Get you a blowjob or get you laid by a prostitute the night before you pledge your eternal love to the woman that means the world to you?

It's utter bullshit...

Seriously, I know all the stupid jokes to tell while the guy is getting whipped and beaten by 15 girls in front of the entire club. But it's probably my least favorite thing to do as a DJ.

I've said it before, but if I ever have a bachelor party, my future wife will be the dancer on my lap, lol...

Silver Phoenix
06-11-2006, 11:38 AM
Heehee, I'm changing one poor girls opinion of strippers and dancers. Her boyfriend and mine are friends and co-workers and she's come over a bit with him to hang out at our place. She's seen me try on my new outfits for my BF and seen exactly what my lapdances consist of. We've talked about bachelor parties in my club and my BF told her about parties outside the club. She's warming up nicely and hopefuly by the time they do set a date he'll be able to have his party and I can take her out for one of her own.

-=Phoenix

ChristyWild
06-11-2006, 12:20 PM
No, I don't think that jealousy's the main issue, per se, though it is part of the problem...it comes back to the fact that most brides are insecure about something or another and deep down don't think that they're good enough for their man to stay should he see a better model. That, and yet, there is jealousy because the men are glorifying the fact that these women (strippers) are confident enough in themselves to get up and strip, and the brides don't like the fact we can do it with confidence and they can't...either that or they're frigid....ran into that a few times.

mickey22
06-19-2006, 12:52 PM
It kills me how insecure and stupid some women or "girls" are. So what if he does all of that - it's just for fun. I'm married and insisted my hubby go to Vegas for his bachelor party. Not because I wanted to have fun at my bachelorette party - but because it really is supposed to be the last time you have fun before it's monogamy time - ya know! Soooooooo stupid to over react. I love the chicks that forbid their grooms to be to have a bachelor party - it's like wow - you really have no trust or self confidence do you?

naughtylilminx
07-11-2006, 05:22 AM
I think its wrong to try to keep your hubby or soon to be hubby away from SC or dancers in general. It only makes them want to go and be there more. I think it depends on the girl and guy. If you know your guy and know that he just goes for fun and you have enough confidence in yourself then it should be fine. Now if you know your man is a SC junkie and spends his WHOLE paycheck on one girl then you shouldnt be with him or planning to marry him period. As far as bachelor parties go I mean its a part of the whole shebang when your getting married. Ive gone to some bacherlorette parties that are 100 times worse than bacherlor parties!!! I think some guy dancers can get alot more raunchier then girls can!!!

Andygirl
07-11-2006, 06:04 AM
No, I don't think that jealousy's the main issue, per se, though it is part of the problem...it comes back to the fact that most brides are insecure about something or another and deep down don't think that they're good enough for their man to stay should he see a better model. That, and yet, there is jealousy because the men are glorifying the fact that these women (strippers) are confident enough in themselves to get up and strip, and the brides don't like the fact we can do it with confidence and they can't...either that or they're frigid....ran into that a few times.

Eh, I'm not any of those things and I wouldn't want my guy having a bachelor party outside of a strip club. I really wouldn't be terribly thrilled about him having one in a club, but I wouldn't make a big deal about it. I think most women would have a problem with random women rubbing all over their man. I personally don't understand the tradition.

Bella21
07-11-2006, 10:18 AM
I wouldn't want my guy to do that. He can go to strip clubs all he wants... But I don't want him doing that the night before we get married. :( (Um, that's when they do bachelor partys, right? The night before?)

Whenever I hear ppl. calling strippers names and all that.... It pisses me off, but I know that at the same time, if society accepted us, more women would be strippers than there already are... and we'd have less money.

Did I say that right? I just woke up. :(

kittenkat
07-11-2006, 12:17 PM
Well, I don't mind my SO or myself going to SCs. That said, I'm not a fan of bachelor parties. I've gone to many of my friends' bachelor parties, have always gotten along with the dancers. It's just not my cup of tea. Same goes for male strippers at bachelorette parties.

If my SO and I get married, we're gonna just scoot to City Hall. No wedding for me. White isn't my color anyway, and I'm not a fan of veils. Funny, as he wants a wedding more than I do, but that's not saying much at all.

threlayer
07-12-2006, 11:25 AM
Bachelor parties are the most inane of all the many traditional wedding rituals.

If you are a groom, what do the guys who are supposed to be your best friends do? Have you completely and utterly humiliated onstage?! Get you a blowjob or get you laid by a prostitute the night before you pledge your eternal love to the woman that means the world to you?

It's utter bullshit...

......

I could not agree MORE with Djoser ! Hell, take him bowling or to a ballgame with the guys and pay his way. Whatever...

georgiapeach
07-12-2006, 11:46 AM
I wouldn't want my guy to do that. He can go to strip clubs all he wants... But I don't want him doing that the night before we get married. :( (Um, that's when they do bachelor partys, right? The night before?)


the guys who've come into my club for bachelor parties are usually getting married a week or two later. i've never had a bachelor come in the night before the wedding...

hyzenthflay
07-12-2006, 01:02 PM
All the forums I've ever been on (except this one)...someone eventually posts about strippers and 1 out of 100 really dislike us. It's one of the only threads that will go on for days and days.

manchester
03-10-2007, 12:48 PM
dude.

when i get married. i'm going to have a FAT double bachelor/bachelorette party.

at MY strip club.

and i will hook it up FAT and sick my ARMY of strippers on my husband. and it will be glorious. and i will laugh. and it will be wonderful.

ViolaStrings
03-10-2007, 12:55 PM
All the forums I've ever been on (except this one)...someone eventually posts about strippers and 1 out of 100 really dislike us. It's one of the only threads that will go on for days and days.

I wanna see some of those threads

Katrine
03-10-2007, 03:30 PM
This reminds me of that show that Dave Navarro and Carmen Elektra had. They had a duel bachelor/ette party with lots of strippers and even Dita Von Tease, in Vegas.

If I ever got married, I would be so up for that. But the guys do need some alone time as well for the bach party tradition. No big deal and I don't even know if this is the thread topic, lol! I'm just already planning the party!

Zabrina
03-10-2007, 06:37 PM
This reminds me of that show that Dave Navarro and Carmen Elektra had. They had a duel bachelor/ette party with lots of strippers and even Dita Von Tease, in Vegas.

If I ever got married, I would be so up for that. But the guys do need some alone time as well for the bach party tradition. No big deal and I don't even know if this is the thread topic, lol! I'm just already planning the party!

Me too! That's totally what I want, if I ever decided to get married, and the bf would agree. It would be a much funner, raunchier party with me there than if it were just him and the homies. I'd be the one licking whip cream off nipples and egging him on. I'd be part of the tag team giving him dances. He could have another party with just the guys, but the joint party would be so much better.

Kali Doom
03-10-2007, 09:29 PM
If my man got extras from a stripper (or anyone else for that matter) wedding = off. I don't want him anymore.

What I've seen more often, though, is his FRIENDS begging dancers for extras. WTF? What kind of friends try to ruin a marriage before it even starts?

Also, I don't buy that "last night of freedom so he can do what he wants" bullshit. His last night of freedom was the night before he told me he loved me.

He can certainly watch, and I don't mind if he gets a lap dance or silly boobies in his face, but if he has any sort of sexual contact that could spread to me, it is so over.

Sunshine73
03-10-2007, 09:47 PM
If my guy went to a strip club to have a bachelor party & did the whole getting-up-onstage-to-get-embarrassed-by-the-strippers- thing, I'd be OK with that. Hell, I'd even love to watch and get a good laugh out of it. BUT...I would not be OK with blow-jobs, hand jobs, or sex acts of any kind. I don't perform those kinds of services while I'm at work, and it would break my heart if he crossed that line. But I do not feel that he would ever cheat on me anyway, because we are THAT strong.

As for brides hating strippers...well, yeah, they are threatened by us. They don't know what it is like to be a stripper so they automatically assume the worst about us.

Bella21
03-11-2007, 11:05 AM
Women are in general very intolerant of thier men being around dancers, especially outside the Club. We provide dancers for alot of bachelor parties and the only problems we ever have is if the bachlorette party shows up. I still have fingernail scars from stepping in front of a charging "Bride".


:laughing:
Wow!

Really, if you can't trust your guy at a stripclub (or to have a stripper at his bachelor party), you shouldn't be with him. ::) What happens when some random chick at a bar offers him a one night stand? Shit, we're just selling dances!

EDIT: Hhheey! This is an old thread! Lol, I just read my post from a year ago... My, how I've grown! :)

Bella21
03-11-2007, 11:09 AM
Also, I don't buy that "last night of freedom so he can do what he wants" bullshit. His last night of freedom was the night before he told me he loved me.


I never understood that "last night of freedom" crap. Nothing about that phrase makes any sense.

ExoticEngineer
03-11-2007, 11:25 AM
Just now catching up to this thread.....

I think if my hubby had asked a stripper for extra's I would be most hurt because I am a stripper, and he knows how it feels to me when guys ask for extras...so it would be insulting, not just to the relationship (duh) but to me personally.

But, did I tell my man to have a Bach party? Yep. Did I tell him to have strippers? Yep. And did I ask him anything about it when it was over? Nope.

I think of it like this.... it's a two way street, he goes out, he has to be responsible and trustworthy enough to not do anything that he thinks would hurt me. But....likewise, I have to give him my trust and if a woman can't do that, I truly don't feel she should be marrying.

my .02

Katrine
03-11-2007, 12:23 PM
Unfortunately, and I have seen it first hand, a lot more does go on in private bach parties. Particularly those outside the club. Often the buddies are enouraging the bach to do verboten things with the stripper. Or the bach is a private scumbag himself.

I had a lot of trouble being able to respect men as a whole after a private bach party experience. And you would never think that these types of guys were animals, they looked very normal.

If he does have a boys only bach, I would prefer they not have strippers at a hotel, but rather in the club.

kaiarose
03-11-2007, 05:23 PM
Double standard bitches! The women hate female strippers but let me tell ya, they LOVE male dancers. My club has male dancers upstairs and female dancers downstairs. Whem the women have to wait for the next show to start upstairs, management brings them down by us to wait. They all sit in their little groups and talk mad shit about the girls and make a point to laugh loudly at us when we're onstage. We even have to share the bathroom with the girls that come to see the guys. It's horrible because I'll be in the stall (they don't know I'm there) and they'll start talking about us dancers. I just wait til there gone to come out, but it just floors me. So sometimes management will let the girl dancers go up and watch the guys if it's slow and that's where the double standard b.s. comes from. These bacholorettes are absolute whores! They'll be in the corner with one of the dancers, grabbing his dick, trying to suck his dick, pulling her titties out, etc.. When they give a tip to a guy onstage they'll put it in their mouths and I don't know how many times I've seen girls trying to french the guy when he goes to take it. And if you want a free shot up there you have to show your tits, and let me tell ya, they lose alot of hard liquor on the weekends. So to all you hypocritical brides, "Shut the fuck up!!!!"

kaiarose
03-11-2007, 05:25 PM
Just wanted to add that my club fired a dancer after they found him fucking one of the bacholorettes in the bathroom. Hmph, and we're the whores??!!