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Cheeta
08-26-2003, 09:12 PM
Hey Ladies,

I just have a few questions. Do any of you have boyfriends? If so, was it before or after you decided to dance? How do they feel about you doing what you do.

I'm fired up and ready to start making some money, but my boyfriend is not in favor of that idea. I've tried explaining to him that there is nothing wrong with dancing, and I don't plan on doing this forever.

I need some advice from you all. Should I handle my business and not tell him or should I keep trying to convince him?


Thanks sweeties :-*

NoaSummer
08-26-2003, 09:41 PM
I have a boyfriend myself...well actually we're in the middle of a break-up... not because of me wanting to dance but just because we can't get along anymore.
but about the dancing...he doesn't approve.... he says he's too jelous and even when I asked him to come with me to the club everytime I have to dance he didn't want to. He know's I won't be having sex with any of the customers but still he couldn't get used to the idea...untill I started telling about the money.....
noe he's kinda changing his mind....
I 'm still doing it anyways even if he wouldn't approve.... maybe because our relationship is at the end anyways.....

Juliette_deSade
08-27-2003, 01:32 AM
Hi!
I'm dating more than one person right now. they all seem to approve-the one I live with always tries to take my money and report my earnings. I will be leaving him here alone very soon. The other one just wanted help with bills and food and whatnot.

Sexually, one is turned on by the idea. he's very happy that I own certain heels and costumes so I can play dress-up for him. The other hates sexual stuff anyway.

I was married when I started dancing. Two years llater I am not married anymore. Does this profession affect relationships? Tremendously.

Juliette de Sade

Pamela
08-27-2003, 01:52 AM
Had a Bf, knew about my life, and wanted to change me. (it seemed.) Told me to get a hobby. Told him i had one!!

Needless to say, it was fine for him to go see strippers, but not ok for me to even do phone sex, or pose nude let alone dance.

I did not get it, now i do, so i am so over it. Pamela

maya
08-27-2003, 02:07 AM
I think the most important thing is TRUST i wasn't dancing when I first met my boyfriend but, he knew from the start that that's what I wanted to do and it took me forever to convince him that there was no real reason to be jelous because i was treating it strictly as WORK and that I was coming home to him at the end of the night with plenty of cash that we both could use to build a future with together and buy a house and car with and...so 3 years later we're still together.[/color]

Theresa
08-27-2003, 05:15 AM
I just got a new boyfriend, we have been together about a month, and he knew I was a dancer before we started going out. I considered quitting, not because of anything he said, but because I felt weird going to a club and flirting with and dancing for all these guys when I had a boyfriend. So I mentioned one day that I was thinking of quitting, and he asked why, so I told him because I was afraid that it might bother him. He thought it was SO cute that I was thinking of quitting for him, then he said that it didn't bother him and even if it did he would just have to grin and bear it. Then he went on to say that he likes me the way I am and I don't have to change anything for him. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world. ;D

I only work about every other weekend now because I like spending that time with my man and I don't even care about the money I am missing out on. (I also go to school). However, I have found that since I got a boyfriend I am a LOT less tolerant of guys coming into the club and trying to get me to go out with them, I can get downright bitchy with them at times. Oh well.

I really think that many guys have serious issues with their girlfriend dancing, they may seem cool with it at first but after a while it eats them up and they give their girl a hard time about it. I don't know much about your relationship, but I would really advise against going behind his back and dancing after telling him you are not going to do it. If it bothers him that much where it is impossible to convince him to be open minded about it, and you really want to do it that bad, it might be time to choose one or the other.

Bridgette
08-27-2003, 07:06 AM
Gosh it seems like a lifetime ago when I first started dancing! I was only 22. I had a boyfriend at the time and I didn't even think for a second about how he might react when I decided I was going to start dancing. I had already gotten hired and was going to start the following week when I told him. He didn't get all weird, just said he guessed we may as well break it off since we were 'going in different directions'. I thought that was a bit strange at the time but I knew I wouldn't be marrying that guy, so I didn't sweat it. I went to work and never looked back.

Once I started dancing, it definitely made it difficult to have a relationship, but I attribute part of that to my own inexperience with picking appropriate potential mates. After age 25 I found the level of quality in guys I attracted/was attracted to significantly improved, and so did the quality of my relationships....and with that the jealousy and petty bs about my job went way down. Now it's still somewhat of an issue, but moreso because of my crazy hours than because of the job itself. The guys I'm interested in work daytime, so that makes it hard to find time to be together. Also the club I'm working in makes a huge difference - everyone here knows this club is not sleazy at all, and that seems to make it easier for guys to justify dating a stripper who works there. Finally, my own attitude helps things for me. Everyone can see I'm a very normal person outside of work, and I can't even be attracted to someone who isn't open-minded enough to see me for who I am rather than my job title.

My advice to a newbie with bf problems would be to evaluate how serious the relationship really is. Do you think it may be serious and long-term enough to sacrifice your job choice for him? Would you be willing to make that kind of sacrifice? If not, try your best to reassure him you are still only his, and you'll just be dancing to make some good money for bills, school, savings, etc - and that you won't be doing anything you shouldn't. He may come around, and the relationship may end. If you're set on dancing, this is something you'll have to learn to deal with. If in the future you are single and beginning to date again, always be up front about your job. It will save alot of unnecessary grief later by weeding out those who aren't willing to even try to deal with it, and by avoiding the disaster of having him find out in a bad way.

Tina
08-27-2003, 11:29 AM
Any guy who has a problem with his lady dancing doesn't understand the business. If he worked in a club he most likely would not be jealous. Plus any guy worth a damn would see that if dancing offers more income than a traditional job, then continuing dancing would be a wise choice.

Any guy that doesn't understand that we are just going table to table selling dances and only see each guy as a customer just as a car salesperson does , is not worth the time of day. We as dancers are in a beat the system career, and we must have guys in our lives that have a beat the system mentality and not a fit in the mainstream one.

Ignorance of the business is the biggest problem. If chauvinism is the reason your guys don't want you dancing then they aren't worth the time of day anyway. As Bridgette says dancers making poor choices when it comes to guys is the biggest problem they face. Find a guy with an entrepreneurial mind who is not jealous by nature when seeking a relationship. Any present boyfriend who can't handle your dancing has been to clubs before and bought dances and has a low opinion of dancers.

Cheeta
08-28-2003, 01:50 AM
I love my man very much and just want him to see how beneficial this can be to both of us. I also think it can add some spice to our relationship. He is very jealous and sometimes when we argue I just want to say fuck it and just handle mine, and then I think it would be much easier to not let him know until the money starts coming in and then MAYBE he'll come around. I also don't want more time to pass and say I could have made a nice amount of money and did alot more in that time and now I have to start all over getting up the nerve, finding a place to work and making it happen.

toxicgirl
08-28-2003, 07:08 PM
behind every successful woman is a trail of dead men that tried to get in her way.

Tina
08-28-2003, 08:31 PM
Cheeta, your guy needs to go to clubs and see what the business is all about.

Will he go with you to audition? When you get hired, can he take you to work and pick you up? That way he can see all the girls leaving work and get the feel that it is just a job. Plus he sees everyone going home alone including you.

He needs to understand that each guy is a customer that you are spending time with for money and not beecause you are interested in them.Once he understands that this business is not a party but a job, and he meets some other people who dance or their guys he could possibly be ok.

We fear what we don't understand.

Amaya
08-29-2003, 02:07 PM
Be prepared to choose the man or the job. ts a possability

Cheeta
08-30-2003, 03:09 AM
I never really asked him to help me find a club or come to an audition. When I bring up the topic he starts to get upset but I tell him FAST MONEY NEEDS TO BE MADE AND I'M GONNA MAKE IT. I do think that if he were to come check out a respectable club he might change his mind.

SexyBooty
08-31-2003, 03:28 PM
my man is all about me working, so he doesnt mind at all, The saddest thing is that after he started making money, he wants to separate. He is a male dancer too, It hurts to hear that because we have been trough so much, but am sure dancing will help me to mature up and live on my own and own things my own with no Male help.

Do we women become like that too?

SexyBooty
08-31-2003, 03:29 PM
we married, and he wants to divorce lol am like ALLRIGHT

Juliette_deSade
08-31-2003, 04:43 PM
Sexy Booty-

I feel you. I am 4 days away from leaving a jacked up relationship. After a while, if they keep baiting you, you'll bite back. Dancers understand that they can be independent enough to not take ANYONE'S shit. I sure don't!

It's best to be with someone because you really wanna be. No other reason really. And if you want it bad enough you will go to any length and it won't feel like as much of a sacrifice.....more like love, ya know? Why settle for less?

Jenna
09-03-2003, 01:02 PM
I started a post like this a few months ago... My boyfriend did his best to support me even though he HATED my job. I was with him a year & a half before I started dancing. I took him out to steak dinners & even got him a PlayStation2 with a bunch of games to show him how he would benefit from my easily making all this money. He acted fine with it but every other nite he would tell me how he drives himself crazy at nite & every once & a while, an insult would "slip" out of his mouth. I also tried taking him to a strip club (which has been against everything I usually stand for in relationships - ya know, if the guy loves me, why would he need/want to see another woman naked?) but that point didn't stand for long.

Well, we just broke up about 3 weeks ago, and have been on & off every other day since then. Now his ultamatim for us getting back together is my quitting. Sorry but no... I am in college here in NV (I'm from CA) for another 9 months, then I graduate & will move on. Who knows where we will be then. I am happy being single & free & have been seeing people since the day after he moved up (one of the guys is actually one of the owners of the club, is that bad!?) I am doing fine on my own. A few of my friends have boyfriends but want to try dancing but the boy is in their way. I guess it could be a mistake or a blessing to dance while being in a relationship. To me, it was both. But I don't have any regrets, right now at least. OK I am done rambling on, I have to go to work now...
~Danielle -aka- Jenna

Cheeta
09-03-2003, 01:23 PM
I'd hate to have to go behind his back but I have to do what I have to do* It's too many things that I have going on right now and the part-time job that I have now isn't cutting in at all. I just went back to school and am not going to give that up for a job that's not paying anything. I would probably make twice as much money dancing in one week than I would at my job , and we get paid every two weeks.

He just doesn't understand where I am coming from or he is just too jealous to realize.

Bella21
09-29-2003, 01:48 PM
I feel where you girls are coming from! There's no such thing as easy money and relationships are one of the drawbacks. I've been with my guy for 3 years and I've been dancing for about 3 months. I love it andI could never ever go back to a minimum wage job where someone can boss me around and take up so much of my schedule. But, I haven't told him and I know if I don't, one day he will find out.

shay22
09-29-2003, 03:56 PM
My boyfriend was like that at first, acutally he was all against it and threatend to break up with me. But i did it anyway, he was mad for a few days but he got over it. The money is good and realizes that. The best thing is to just be honest from the start. Lying only makes things worse!

Kobi
09-29-2003, 05:15 PM
My story is similar to Shay's. At first he was a little insecure and jealous, although he supported my decision to do it. He hated it if I told him anything that happened at work. He just didn't want to hear about it. Now he is cool with it and realizes there is nothing to worry about. I'm a good girl! :) He doesn't mind if I talk about my night either. We live together so lying was never an option, but even if it was, I would've told the truth. A good relationship is based on acceptance and truth. If he can't accept what you choose to do, and if you can't be honest with him, then what kind of relationship is there? The sooner he knows the truth from you, the better.

Naomi_Tx
09-29-2003, 05:44 PM
Men will come and go through out you entire life. Nothing and nobody remains consistent. The only person that will be with you, every step of the way until the day you die, is yourself.

When you make life altering changes, for the sake of a relationship, keep in mind that when he's gone, your life is still altered.

sexyred0020
09-30-2003, 08:41 AM
Well I hooked up with mine when I first started work and he thought it was cool, then he starts to fall in love and he didn't want me to go back. Of course I'm out of work and he can't supports us, I let him know that he can't support us and he sees that. It's not that I don't love him. The thing is, if he can't support me who's gonna do it if I can't do it? He saw my point and found out what time it was. [idea] ;)

Shayden
09-30-2003, 08:45 AM
My boyfriend, TJ, is the one who actually talked me into dancing. I had always thought it was an option but never gave it serious thought then he took me to the Bunny Ranch one night and he wouldn't leave it alone after that. He thinks it's a big turn-on for me to be in control, making money, and being sexy, I guess. He takes me to work and picks me up too. But right now we're in the middle of a break up, not related to dancing though. He's always been very supportive and eager to help me.

By the way, I was talking to some guys in my history class the other day about dancers and all they had to say was bad stuff about us. They were saying it's nothing personal or anything, but they couldn't date a stripper because doing something like that as a career reflects badly on her as a person blah, blah, blah. Needless to say I left that conversation quickly. What's up with some guys not wanting to date dancers, we're people too?!

Shayden

Kobi
09-30-2003, 08:56 AM
I think a lot of guys will say that until they are actually put in that situation. Say their girl tells them they are going to start dancing. They can either give up on the relationship or give it a shot. If they give it a shot they might figure out that their girl is the same girl she was before she started dancing and it is not that bad.

It sounds like these guys are talking about things they don't know that much about.

Then again, there are some guys who can't handle our extreme sexiness and independence. ;)

Vicki-Valentine
09-30-2003, 02:16 PM
Quite honestly, if you have a strong stable relationship, he should be able to trust you and trust that you will do the right thing. Will he agree with it? Maybe not at first but maybe never. You'll find your comfort level in time and hopefully your relationship will work out.

I really don't think you should hide it from him. I don't think it's fair.

Ara
09-30-2003, 04:43 PM
My ex-boyfriend I met when I wasn't dancing, started again while we were dating, and it was tough. One of the main reasons he is an ex. His friends gave him a tough time, "how can you let her do that", etc., and he had a really tough time with the idea that I was sharing myself with any chump with a couple bucks, felt that the private naked me should be reserved for just him. He tried to be supportive, but he hated it. I used to buy him gifts, take him for meals, etc., so it would benefit us, not just me, but then I began to feel resentful - like he had such a problem with the job, but not with the money. One night he came to pick me up, and he was early, so he came inside and saw me flirting with a customer, and that really messed him up - it was just way too personal. This was a couple years ago, and we're still good friends to this day, funny thing is that he actually saw me dance on stage for the first time not so long ago, and it still bugged him! He said it was weirder/more uncomfortable than he expected it would be, and we have been just friends forever now - go figure.

My boyfriend now is absolutely amazing! He knew I was a dancer right from the start, and he's okay with it. He knows that I am just trying to support my girl and myself, and he's mature enough to understand that. He never lets me pay for a thing, treats me like gold. He lets me tell him funny stories about the industry and the customers, and he gets a kick out of it without being jealous or petty. The funny thing is I think it bugs me more than it does him, where I used to hang out between my stage shows and chat with customers, maybe sell some dances, I rarely do that anymore, mostly just hang in the changeroom until my next show (paid stages, so a girl can do that). I found out that my boyfriend's brother has seen me dance, and I've never even met him - that kinda freaked me out. He told me about a friend who couldn't believe he was ok with my dancing, and although he was laughing about it, I felt sad that he had to defend me, and himself.
Crazy business, this is!

Tia
10-01-2003, 03:45 AM
I started dancing a couple of months after starting a new relationship, and I talked to him about it before and a few times after I started. This is because I really care about his feelings and I don't want to hurt them; if he is feeling jealous or worried or left out I want to know so I can address it. He was a little worried, but I got a cell, took him tomeet my boss, etc, and he's fine with it now. He says he isn't jealous because he trusts me, he knows that it's a job, and he feels secure in our relationship. He doesn't like stripping (He went to a club with me about a month ago; poor guy; I will never take him to another) but he likes that I have a job that I enjoy so much. I would say to try and find the problems that your guy has with it, and try to address those specifically. If he is insecure, for example, try to reassure him how much you love him and that you're with him because you want to be with him and no one else. Truth is that for some guys it will never be ok, for some it will be ok with time, and some are completely understanding. I don't think you should lie about it; everyone needs a spouse who can respect and accept them for who they are. If he can't do that, it's probably not for the best. Besides, if you lie, some things will get suspicious, and he'll probably find out eventually. Like some of the other girls said, it may help if he is more involved with it so he can understand it (and you) better. Or it could be like mine, who would rather keep it at a respectful distance. Depends on the guy I guess.

Meadow
10-01-2003, 03:54 AM
My old man loves it when I play dress up for him....... ::)

MeganS
10-01-2003, 04:29 PM
You know, ladies, I have a wonderful man who respects my job and what I do!! In all respects, it's a matter of respecting yourself and not so much giving a shit about the man, unless he can support your decision, and support you too!!!!!!!! If you feel good about what you do, than why can't he also?! My god! Take charge! Be strong independent women! My husband loves me for me, and dosen't "let" me dance, but realizes it's my job and knows I'm contributing to the household income. AND! he's so secure with my dancing, he not only comes to watch me, but, sits with the other customers to tip me as well! Let's hear it for the boys!

Kobi
10-01-2003, 05:50 PM
Amen!!

My husband loves me for me, and dosen't "let" me dance, but realizes it's my job and knows I'm contributing to the household income.
That reminds me...

When I used to tell customers that I have a boyfriend, the next thing they would say is "And he lets you dance?" WTF?! I have to have his permission? No, he doesn't let me do anything. I do what I want and he supports me. :)

Shayden
10-03-2003, 03:24 AM
I think one of the main reasons my man (or kinda ex-man right now) is ok with it, is his best friend, Paul, married a dancer. I used to ask Paul the same question before I became a dancer "You let her dance?" He just looked at me very calmly and said it's her job, not her life, besides I can' t tell her what to do I'm not her dad I'm her husband. I was like wow.

Another thing, I think when you get in a new relationship and you tell them you are a dancer, it's a little bit harder than if you are already dating someone and you want to become a dancer. This is how my friend put it "There is a difference between saying, I'm dating a stripper, and saying, my girlfriend is a stripper."

Shayden

heidi
10-07-2003, 02:38 PM
I just started and bf is ok with it sofar, he's been pretty supportive, but all of the other dancers i work with keep telling me horror stories about them being ok with it for awhile and then like freaking out and thinking you're cheating on them and stuff...
i hope that doesn't happen... b/c i really love my bf
we've been together for 4 years.... i'm gonna
*cross my fingers*
i guess i'll find out soon enough...
xoxo,
heidi

Destiny
10-07-2003, 04:16 PM
Met a great guy, told him what I did for a living. He said he was totally cool with it. Dated for a few months, things seemed to be going great. One night he came to the club and saw me dance. End of story and end of relationship.

soybeangirl
10-09-2003, 06:59 AM
I tried the "keeping it a secret thing" It worked for almost 3 years but it always comes out in the end. I'd just tell 'em.

vrmr22d
10-10-2003, 06:24 AM
I agree that you should tell anyone that is really close to you and would affect their lives. Better that they hear it from you and not from the grapevine.

luv207
10-13-2003, 04:41 PM
I am not a dancer yet but I am currently looking for a good club in my area(Philly) to work for. I am engaged and my fiancee is totally against the idea of me doing anything that has to do with other males gawking over me. I try to talk to him about it and let him know i'm only doing it for the money(which we need really bad) and that it's only a job not a life but no matter what i say he's not haven it. Just today he told me he won't be with a stripper or dancer of any kind no matter what. Pretty much what he's sayin is him or the job. I dropped out of high school in the 10th grade and left home, so i don't have any other job options that would pay me that much at this time. I really wanna dance but I really love him, we've been through so much I just don't know what to do.

destiny36
10-14-2003, 05:54 AM
I AM MARRIED HAPPLEY,MY HUSBAND IS OK WITH MY WORK. I STARTED DANCING AFTER WE WER MARRIED HE BACKS ME 100%. SO DONT LET YOUR BOY FRIEND RULL YOU.HE IS NOT YOUR HUSBAND.MAKE YOUR OWN DECISHIONS.LOOK OUT FOR YOUR SELF.THE KEY TO A GOOD RELASHIONSHIP IS TRUST.SO ILL SAY SHAKE WHAT YOUR MOMMA MADE.

jordankeywest
10-16-2003, 10:09 AM
ya know boys just cant win w me. if they dont want me to go to work im pissed cuz i feel like theyre getting controlling jealous or possessive. if they encourage me to work im like that ass he doesnt care about me. how can he be ok w me dancing naked for other guys!

Kobi
10-16-2003, 10:15 AM
ya know boys just cant win w me. if they dont want me to go to work im pissed cuz i feel like theyre getting controlling jealous or possessive. if they encourage me to work im like that ass he doesnt care about me. how can he be ok w me dancing naked for other guys!
Lol Jordan! I know exactly how you feel! Damn, us women are so complicated.

Emily
10-16-2003, 10:21 AM
I feel the same way! He's got to be territorial, but not jealous. A very fine distinction!

This is why I'm convinced I have to stop dancing on my own before I really get serious with someone.

Nina_Horning
10-16-2003, 02:47 PM
Yes, ohmygawd I thought I only felt this way. I tell my husband all the time you must not care about me to let me do this. But I know if he was saying no don't do it, I'd be pissed that he was trying to control me. Is he really that secure with himself?? Maybe he doesn't really think I'm good enough for another guy to actually want to be with me with me?? What's up with this?

alex75
10-16-2003, 08:44 PM
I have a problem with boyfriends! I have been dating/talking to this guy for about 4 months. He,by far,is the coolest guy I have ever met and I mean that. Anyway,when I told him I was moving back to Vegas he asked me if I was going to be a stripper(really bad stereotype about vegas) and I said I was afraid of never being able to find a cool boyfriend as a dancer. He said that he thought it would be cool to have a dancer as a girlfriend and he said that I would make a lot of money as a dancer because he thinks I'm hot. Well,I have yet to tell him about my new gig at Olympic Garden in Vegas and I am scared to death. I know he said it would be cool but I'm afraid his opinion will change when he finds out I'm doing it. I mean,I really like him and I won't quit dancing if he tells me he doesn't approve but it still sucks. I am really such a good girl. I never go out and I dance because I like it and I like the potential money but I still like to please and I am not sure if I should tell him. Ugh!!! I hate men sometimes. But I love them also.Damn!!!
Alex

alex75
10-16-2003, 08:46 PM
BTW,I need all of your advice but if my girl Kobi sees this please HELP!!!! I trust all of you but as a mutual Vegas dancer I need advice. You are awesome!!!

Emily
10-16-2003, 08:59 PM
Worry about yourself first. You can make it happen.

But one thing, never let him come to the club, even when you're not working. He doesn't need to know what happens. Also, do not talk about how much money you made. Not only does it bother a lot of guys if you make more, but he will think bad thoughts if you make crappy money one night and great the next....i.e. "what are you doing differently?"

Guys love the idea of dating and having sex with a stripper, but not getting serious. Try to downplay the job as much as possible so he sees you for who you really are and not just some novelty girlfriend.

And yes, guys' opinions of the jobs does change. They try to be Mr Joe Sensitive, but a lot of them cannot handle it. My advice is to tell him though. Honesty can't hurt you the way lying can.

Nina_Horning
10-16-2003, 09:44 PM
I agree with Emily when she says "honesty can't hurt you the way lying can". My husband also said he thinks it would be cool if I was a stripper. I'm afraid he's going to change his mind after some time goes by, but until then it's all good. But also when Emily said something about being a novelty girlfriend, I think that's what my husband wants. But I think after he tells all his friends I'm a stripper they're going to either tell him I can't believe you let her do that, I would never want my wife to put her twat in some other guys face (that's just the way they talk), or they're all going to be pigs and all walk in together where I work. Oh what to do what to do??? Good luck Alex, I agree with Emily just be honest and go with it. I'm sure kobi will have some more advice for you though.

Devastating Divyne
10-17-2003, 04:43 AM
I've noticed that lots of the girls who have steady or stable relationships have partners that still make them feel needed at home occassionally. Like if he never says anything and you work all the time, you wonder if he cares. If you hardly ever work, and he's asking when are you going you feel rushed. The inbetween is the guy who will make you late occassionally doing sweet things for you,like dates or him cooking dinner for you b/4 your shift, and who will call you on a busy nite or a slower nite and ask you to come home early b/c they miss you and wanna still be awake when you get there.

Kobi
10-17-2003, 08:09 AM
Worry about yourself first. You can make it happen.

But one thing, never let him come to the club, even when you're not working. He doesn't need to know what happens. Also, do not talk about how much money you made. Not only does it bother a lot of guys if you make more, but he will think bad thoughts if you make crappy money one night and great the next....i.e. "what are you doing differently?"

Guys love the idea of dating and having sex with a stripper, but not getting serious. Try to downplay the job as much as possible so he sees you for who you really are and not just some novelty girlfriend.

And yes, guys' opinions of the jobs does change. They try to be Mr Joe Sensitive, but a lot of them cannot handle it. My advice is to tell him though. Honesty can't hurt you the way lying can.
Alex, I agree with Emily, that's very good advice. Absolutely do not lie to him. Treat it as a normal job and hopefully he will treat you the same as he did before. Take it one day at a time. It may take awhile for the idea of you being a stripper to wear off. My fiance hated it at first. He was scared and couldn't see that this is a job, not sexual enjoyment for me. After a month he started getting used to it. Now he doesn't care. He is careful who he tells, as am I. He told one of his buddies at work (who I think is a dildo) and he said that all the strippers in Vegas do dirty stuff to make money. Not true! Dildo's had one experience at a Vegas SC so that makes him an expert. My fiance defended me and knows I am a good girl and that I make my money with my brains. Reassure your guy that you are a good girl too.

Remember the best thing that Emily said: "Worry about yourself first."

Kobi
11-07-2003, 02:33 PM
No, it's not fair. It's not fair of him to make you feel bad because of your job. He doesn't sound secure. Did he pressure you into quitting? It sure sounds like it. A good man will not pressure you to stop doing something you enjoy and then make you feel bad about ever doing it. None of this was fair even before he went to your old club to hang it. He sounds manipulative.

If it were me, I would say "Honey, I love you, but I am a dancer, and if you can't accept that then you can't accept me, and we shall go our separate ways."

Anala
11-22-2003, 10:41 PM
my fiance suggested i try dancing. also we have a friend who's a phone sex operator and she's married with 4 kids (3 still living at home). what we want to know is if i get a job at this one club can he be a bartender there? that way he wouldn't worry about me and i'd feel a little better knowing he's there for starting off. he's not insecure about me being with other guys- but more to make sure i'm safe and don't freak out, :-/ya know? and also since i'd be getting out late and we don't have a car we could go home together of course. i wonder if that's an issue?