View Full Version : Afraid To Start Out

09-23-2003, 09:02 AM
I know that there are a lot of posts like this and they all contain good sound advice but I just felt it would be nice to actually have people talk to me.

I have recently decided that I want to get into the profession. I am not really overweight but I do have a bit of a stomach. Some of the girls at the club I go to keep asking when I am going to get on stage, but the have yet to see my naked stomach (it doesn't look as bad underneath clothes). My question here is should I just go for it or should I wait and try to get it toned.

Another issue is that my husband wants to go and watch when I audition. I feel that I am going to be nervous enough as it is the first time and don't really want him to be there. I just don't know how to bring it up to him or how to convey my feelings to him without making him feel rejected.

The biggest problem I have though beyond those mentioned above is that I don't know how to dance. A couple of girls were suppose to come teach me but neither have come through for me as of yet.

I don't want to wait too long to start because I really want to dance at a particular club and I will be moving next spring/summer.

Any advice that could be given both in response to this and any thing else that might be wise advice to know starting out or any advice you wish you would have known before you started would be much appreciated.

09-23-2003, 12:18 PM
If it were me, I wouldn't want my SO watching me audition. You are nervous enough as it is, ya know?

As far as your stomach, as long as you are confident then it shouldn't be a problem. Most dancers are not perfect and some are far from it. A lot of guys like a belly.

Watch other girls to learn how to dance. Move slowly and just act sexy. Don't do anything to complicated like pole work until you know what you are doing. If you go up there and look confident and act sexy, guys don't notice if you can do a bunch of tricks or not. Eye contact is very important.

My advice:
Auditioning or starting out is very nerve-racking, even if you've danced before. Do it and get it over with. After you do it you'll feel great because you did. Each day it gets easier.

09-23-2003, 02:20 PM
If you are looking for "body business" type of advice... seek out that folder. It has a whole heap of information in there that will help you tone yourself up. I personally vouch for and do a mixture of pilates, skipping and walking.

Like the Nike slogan... JUST DO IT.
That's all you can do.. also your hubby won't feel rejected if you explain you'll be nervous enough as it is and he'll just make you even more nervous.

INSTEAD... practice with him as your "judge". Do it in your living room like you are on stage... don't worry about any tricks or anything. Just be able to know your body and move sexy in it.

Have you watched other dancers dance? That's one of the best ways to know what moves look good is by watching and trying them out yourself. That's still the main way I learned.

09-23-2003, 05:39 PM
You can wear a dress if you want to hide your tummy. I knew a girl who didnt like her mid section and she wore tube dresses. She would during the 1st song pull the dress up to expose her bottom half, and then when it was time to take off her top she just pulled the top half down, the dress stayed basically around her middle, she was a very sexy dancer.

09-24-2003, 05:56 AM
Thanks for the good advice, please don't hesitate to keep it coming.

Good news, my husband is finally going to go with me to the gym today after he gets off work!

I guess the biggest thing is that I just need to get over my shyness and get started.

No poles at my club thank god. I don't think I have what it takes for that. I have a real respect for those who do it, but I think I'll pass.

Yes, I have watched other dancers to see what they do. I just haven't tried practicing them out yet on my own. I thought maybe somebody could give me different advice then that because I always figured that there is a difference from seeing how to do something then actually doing it.

Amaya, your idea was killer. I think my club requires you to get completely naked on stage but I'll ask if that would be an option instead.

Another question I just thought of was in regards to waxing. I just got waxed for the first time last weekend and so I was wondering about how long it'll last. Also since I know you have to have a good length of hair grown back in to get waxed again. What do you do about the hair in between when it starts getting stubbly and when it is long enough to wax again?

09-25-2003, 09:35 AM
really high heels, though a bitch to walk in, will tilt your torso and significantly shrink that belly. I have a little belly too, but arching your back and lifting your ribcage can make it look like you lost 3 or 4 inches.


09-25-2003, 11:24 AM
How high of heel do you recommend Charisma? I have yet to buy my shoes. I plan to when my husband gets paid on Monday or Tuesday so that I can practice walking and dancing in them for a couple of weeks before I decide to contact the club to audition.

Arching my back and lifting my rib cage does make a significant difference in the shape of my belly but not quite as much as a want to especially concerning the lower area of my abs. However trying to keep up that posture has always been hard for me to hold longer then 5 minutes and usually less then that before I start slouching again.

New question, how to get customers to want a lap dance from you. Do you let people approach you? Do you approach them, if so, what do you say?

09-25-2003, 11:38 AM
Approach them. It is nice when you get approached, but you will make a lot more money if you take the initiative. I usually walk up to the guy, sit in his lap, and strike up a conversation. After 3-5 minutes of conversing, I say "Can I dance for you next song?".

I think for posture you should suck that belly in, like you were getting a picture taken of your abs and you want them to look good. Its hard to do, but the good part is that it actually works your transverse abdominals. It will get easier with time. A good exercise to work the same muscles is a plank position. Lay on your stomach. Go up on your toes and your elbows with your palms and forearms on the floor. Suck in that gut! You should be a horizontal line. Hold for 60 seconds and repeat. I do this myself.

09-25-2003, 11:54 AM
That seems like a good idea Kobi, but what do you talk about during that first 3-5 minutes?

I try to go to my friends house and exercise with her every day. First we just started doing a walking video she has, then we added a Pilates video, then most recently we started doing crunches. I hope to add in weights soon too.

Thanks for your advise,

09-25-2003, 12:03 PM
I always ask them "Where are you from?" because I am in Vegas and 9 times out of 10 the are tourists. I also ask them what they enjoy doing, if they come in often, how was your day/week/weekend. Just very general questions. Most of the time they will ask you questions, or start their own topic. Time goes by pretty fast. If the conversation is dull, I will spice things up by talking about how hot the dancer is on stage, or how hot the waitress is, etc. They seem to like that.

I just started doing a pilates video myself and I like it! It is supposed to be awesome for the abs. I have been lifting weights for four years and it is my favorite form of exercise (besides hiking if I get the chance). I hope you give it a shot. Good luck on dancing and working out! :D

09-25-2003, 12:35 PM
Thanks for the info. I am currently residing in Alaska so pretty much everyone is from somewhere else, originally that is. Anyways, that seems easy enough. That was one of my biggest hang ups being that I know that lap dances are what brings in the money each night.

I am really excited and except for getting shoes and practicing dancing in them a bit I think I am ready to strike out.

One thing nobody has answered though is my waxing question. What do you do about being hairy in between waxes? Should I just start shaving now that the major work of hair removal is done or should I just let it grow in and be hairy for a while to get re-waxed?

Thanks again Kobi,

09-25-2003, 01:37 PM
I just thought of some other questions that I would like to ask.

One, does any one here live in the Anchorage, Alaska area? I would really like some one to work out with. My husband and other friend keep flaking out on me. That and she needs a lot of motivation from me on the days she does exercise with me. I don't mind helping out but I would like some one who would equally motivate me. I am pretty good about motivating myself....but there are just some days, if you know what I mean.

Two, what kind of songs do you prefer to dance to? Slow and sensual or fast and upbeat? Which do you find easier?

09-26-2003, 01:00 PM
Is anyone besides Kobi ever going to reply to me? I feel so sad [cry] every time I check in to see that I am still the last one to have left a post. Please I beg you out of the bottom of my heart with cherries on top, don't just look at my topic, read the posts and respond.

09-26-2003, 02:53 PM
Hi Ravin,

What club are you planning to work at? I was assuming PJ's, cause they didn't have a pole when I was there, but then I heard they got one? I'm sure things have changed a lot up there in the last few years.

Waxing is painful and expensive. I just shave.

You should dance to whatever music makes you feel like dancing.

The difference between seeing and doing is only in the doing. Just do it.

I don't know about now, but PJ's used to be a very good place for a girl to start out at. They pay I think like 3-400 a week, and the other girls will help you out a lot.


09-26-2003, 03:04 PM
Where is PJ's Lena? I've never heard of that one. I am planning to audition at the Great Alaskan Bush Comany.

I don't think that waxing is too expensive but GOD your right that it is painful. I am probably going to try and stay on top of the upkeep of shaving it.

I know, I know, I should just bite the bullet and get on with auditioning and all but it is hard when you don't have any confidence in your dancing capabilities. Any recommendations?

09-27-2003, 09:22 AM
Alaska Bush is nude? I thought that it was only topless. Probably not where you want to start out, as this is the top club in the city, and could be unforgiving to a brand new dancer. I have danced in Anchorage, and the girls there can be very difficult to deal with, and ruthless to new dancers. Also it is very competitive to get hired in the top paying clubs in any city, but Alaska Bush in Anchorage is the best of the best in that city, and world famous to boot, so it draws the best dancers from all over the country.

If I were you I would try to befriend a dancer and get the inside information on the clubs in the area. When I danced there I worked for The Showboat and there were a lot of prostitutes working in that club, but that was back in 1999. Prostitution was even encouraged by management, so I left with a bad taste in my mouth for Anchorage.

Hate to be devils advocate, but just wanted to let you know what you are up against. Good luck to you and take care.

09-27-2003, 11:25 AM
Yeah, they get completely nude for the stage shows at the Bush. They have to keep some form of panty on for lap dances though. Hmmmm, all the girls that I've ever talked to have always seemed so nice. They ask me all the time when I am going to start dancing and I just keep saying soon. Even on of the DJ's made a comment.

Showboats is still skanky by the way.

09-29-2003, 06:24 PM
Just wanted to make a quick update on my progress for those of you who care.

My stripper friend came through for me today and so we went to the gym together with her boyfriend. It was a blast. They were both very helpful in making sure I was using the machines correctly and that I was doing enough reps. If all goes well, we will go again on Wednesday.

She also offered to help me learn to dance, whooowho!

I plan to go get some shoes tomorrow or the next day so that I can start learning how to walk in them.

If all continues to go well, I should be ready to start dancing in a month or two.

09-29-2003, 07:24 PM
Glad to hear things are going well Ravin!

09-30-2003, 01:28 PM
Kobi, thanks for your continued support.

I had another problem develop. Ok, well I guess it is actually an old problem that I had thought to be resolved.

My husband is being difficult. On the one hand he wants me to dance on the other he doesn't. I keep telling him if he doesn't want me to I won't. But, he won't tell me not to because he wants me to be happy. I don't know what to do because I really want to, I think it'll be a lot of fun and we could use the money.

Any suggestions on how to handle this issue would be appreciated. I hope that others will join this thread as I would like multiple opinions.

09-30-2003, 01:52 PM
About that belly: I have one too! I LIKE it. People I have gone out with, customers, etc have rubbed it, pinched it, patted it. All fondly. There is a difference between a belly and a gut, though. Be conscience of that.

About your husbands hangups-You want to do it, he does not.....I assume you have tallked about it. What I think is that yur marriage is FAR more important than stripping. Come to a compromise. See if he will let you do just stage or internet shows. The only prob with this is there is a limit as to how much $$ you can make. But he was your life first and foremost. And he is prob just worried about you.

Juliette de Sade

09-30-2003, 02:32 PM
He wants me to dance because of the money.

I think what makes him most uncomfortable is that it turns me on to think about other men getting turned on by me. I assure him that I will be good and that nothing will happen. At the end of the night I will be coming home to him and he is the one who'll get laid by me.

10-01-2003, 03:25 PM
Does anyone have any advice for strengthening the mouth muscles?

I know a big part of making money is from being friendly and smiling a lot.

My problem is that I have a hard time doing so for an extended period of time.

10-07-2003, 04:48 AM
About that belly: I have one too! I LIKE it. People I have gone out with, customers, etc have rubbed it, pinched it, patted it. All fondly. There is a difference between a belly and a gut, though. Be conscience of that.

Juliette de Sade

me too!! and i just started out and men seem to like it sofar... one thing i've learned is men like women of ALL body types really... it's true... if you're self concious about it... just suck it in a little when you're bending over... or dancing on the floor... but i bet you'll find a lot of men like it... like Juliette said!! and i swear, in my opinion i feel so much more self-confident since i started... i actually feel sexy!!! best of luck hon... ;)


10-07-2003, 12:02 PM
Thanks for your words of encouragement Hedi.

I am not sure when I am going to start dancing for sure. I'm thinking either the first of November or December.

10-07-2003, 02:28 PM
whenever you're ready sweetie... you'll just do it...
i used to say to myself.... ok next month... or when i loose 15lbs... i never did... i've been saying all of this since july... and i just finally started yesterday....
one day you'll just be ready...
until then my advice to you is to keep getting as much information as possible from this and other sites...
some one's that helped me a lot and still do are www.feministstripper.com and http://stripper-faq.org which you may have seen already... they're all very helpful...
also i talked to a lot of the other girls in here...
i went to strip clubs with my bf and watched the girls dance ;)...
i watched corny movies like striptease and showgirls... and i read some good books
Ivy League Stripper by Heidi Matteson (my stage namesake.. lol)... Strip City by Lili Burana... and Bare by Elizabeth Eaves
Hope this helps a little.
When you're ready you'll know it...
Best of luck hon.

10-07-2003, 03:18 PM
Heidi, my biggest hang up is that I don't really know how to dance.

Since I am married I have been wondering if it is ok to wear my ring or should I leave it at home? I don't know if my husband would appreciate it if I did leave it at home though, haven't asked him yet.

10-07-2003, 04:05 PM
Ravin: I hate to say this, but wearing your wedding ring may lower your earnings. A lot of times you are selling a fantasy. The fantasy that perhaps, you just might, could be, their girlfriend. It's hard to maintain that fantasy with a wedding ring on. While it might not be an issue with the "old pros" of the club scene, I think for some guys it would be a turnoff. A while back there was a thread called, "should I tell customers that I have a boyfried" or something like that. You should read that for thoughts on issues with SO's and customers.

10-08-2003, 06:37 AM
I thought so, I just wanted to see what others would say.

10-08-2003, 09:31 AM
i wear my rings, they rarely if ever notice. i think ive been asked about it twice in almost 3 years. i do however sometimes turn my engagement ring around so the diamond doesnt stick out so much, pointing down instead of up.

10-08-2003, 11:40 AM
I don't wear my engagement ring any more as it is too big and has a gold band.

My wedding ring is a simple white gold band with diamonds inlayed.

10-08-2003, 02:47 PM
i could never take off my rings, but thats just me.

10-08-2003, 02:54 PM
At my husbands work (USAF) they are not allowed to wear their rings because they work on ejection seats.

10-10-2003, 11:56 AM
don't worry about not being able to dance!!! i could'nt dance at all either... just watch the other girls dance... and copy them... i'm sure they'll help you out some... one girl on my first day showed me how to do this butt shake thing... lol ;) good luck hon...

10-11-2003, 04:07 PM
One of the girls from the club my husband and I go to (the one I hope to get hired at) is suppose to teach me how to dance.

10-12-2003, 09:20 PM
Hi Raven, I'm wondering who you are because I use to live in Alaska. I know you won't say who you really are in the post, but maybe you'd consider emailing me sometime or something. I feel like i'm in the same situation as you. [email protected] Good luck Ravin, I think you'll do great, you have such determination.

10-12-2003, 09:53 PM
Nina, I've only lived in Alaska for two and a half years so you probably don't know me. PM me and tell me something about yourself and the situation you fill like you are in. Maybe I can pass on some good advice I've been given from some of the girls beyond this post.

10-13-2003, 03:40 PM
Thanks, I'll do that.