View Full Version : what % of dancers are single+into men
anabolic
05-02-2003, 06:34 AM
my girlfriend is a peepshow stripper. her best friend is also and she and her boyfriend are constantly fighting over his trust problems. he doesn't like what his friends think of it('she's a slut or might as well be a hooker')and is worried about her cheating on him(with a guy that pays to wank over her-why would she?).
it really doesn't bother me, i love her completely and trust her so. strangely though i wouldn't like it so much if she was stage dancing, the glass seems to make a big psychological barrier for me, even though the shows are more explicit and the guys are masturbating over her. strange maybe?mean no disrespect to stage dancers, just how i feel personally.
also none of her dancer friends have or would date a customer, we met just like any one esle does. i think alot of guys forget that its just a job, she is completely like anyone else, and a wonderful mum to her daughter.I'd be fascinated to hear your gf's thoughts about her work-and about the men who pay to jerk off in front of her-she must really have some strong opinions about men-I would also like to know if she has EVER seen an attractive man come in to see her. And specifically, I'd like to know if she automatically assumes EVERY guy who comes in CANNOT get a girl in real life-
it really doesn't bother me, i love her completely and trust her so.
We should keep in mind that guys who peruse SC message boards are lot more liberal than the average joe or jane. I think there is still a stigma that comes with dating a dancer.
Cute_Guy
05-27-2003, 10:45 AM
Wow...you girls responding here make it sound like you're all money grubbing evil people who do nothing but try to take guys money or screw them over in some way.
I know this isn't the case, but from reading 4 pages of replies, this is the impression that I got. I suppose if I had to take my clothes off for dirty old men all night, I'd have a low opinion of the opposite sex as well.
Question: How DO you find the guys you date, if not in a club? Just at random?
My ex-fiance was a dancer and I love her very much. I still do. There will never be anyone in this world that I will ever love quite like that. And yes, I massaged her feet every night, as well as her back. She deserved it. And I met her in a club....
Emily
05-28-2003, 01:01 AM
Wow...you girls responding here make it sound like you're all money grubbing evil people who do nothing but try to take guys money or screw them over in some way.
I know this isn't the case, but from reading 4 pages of replies, this is the impression that I got. I suppose if I had to take my clothes off for dirty old men all night, I'd have a low opinion of the opposite sex as well.
Question: How DO you find the guys you date, if not in a club? Just at random?
My ex-fiance was a dancer and I love her very much. I still do. There will never be anyone in this world that I will ever love quite like that. And yes, I massaged her feet every night, as well as her back. She deserved it. And I met her in a club....
Yet another myth. Dancers don't hate men. Some do, but they do not last very long in the business. We see guys at their worst and we can still do what we do with a smile on our faces. What does that suggest to you? Sure, we love money and we like to get as much of it as possible. If we were fishermen (fisherwomen?), we'd like to catch as many fish as possible. Same theory applies.
I believe a stripper is human (GASP!) and needs love and companionship just like every other woman. We meet men to date everywhere (the guy I've been dating recently I met while waiting in my car at a red light). We even might date guys at the club, but you have to understand it's important for our jobs to keep that strictly business. It's also important for our current and potential boyfriends too!
Honestly, it annoys the hell out of me when men come in there to ask me out. First, the missed the entire concept of the business and my job. Second, they are falling for a character. What a turn-off for me to have a guy attracted to me for something I'm really not. Third, it's distracting and it puts me in an awkward position to have to say no. I either have to walk on, ask them for dances, or waste my time talking to them.
Mariana
05-28-2003, 03:10 AM
The love of your life was a striper, and you're trying to find a girl as close to her as you can. But maybe this is not the best way to do it... As many said, this is just a job. It just happens that, at the time you met her, she was a striper...
I don't want to be mean, but... I think you are loosing your time. First of all, because you said that you're not even over your ex yet. And second, because you will meet the love of your life when you are not waiting for, when you are not trying to "force" it to happen.
Want advice? Just live your life, do things that make you happy, go to places you like, and think about yourself.
I thought that I could only be happy after meeting the men of my life, but the men of my life came to me when I learnt that I can be happy alone.
Good luck anyway ;)!
Mariana
Cute_Guy
05-28-2003, 09:43 AM
Thanks, I'll do just that. I don't go to strip clubs too often, in fact very rarely, but you make a very good point, Mariana.
However, I AM over my ex. But I won't ever stop loving her. I've had several girlfriends since then and only one other love of my life (totaling 2). I loved each in a different way. And I never stopped loving them, even if I came to the realization that it was over and we will never get back together. I'm a realist. I won't "pine for the fyords".
You're right tho, I don't need to try to find another dancer, just find someone ;)
Hey dude, if you have to go to a strip club board to get dating advice, you're in trouble.
Cute_Guy
05-28-2003, 11:58 AM
I didn't need dating advice. I'm fine there. I came here, mistakenly, for advice on how to date a stripper. Thank you drive thru. :P
Hm, well, what characteristics did you like about her? I mean, if you liked her booksmarts, maybe you should look in a library, or if you liked her party attitude, maybe you should look in a regular club, you know? Make a list of the characteristics you want in a potential partner (and I promise you they won't all be stripper characteristics) and think where someone like that would hang out.
I'm an animal person and a social services type person. I've met people at Schutzhund trials, dog training seminars, Multisystemic therapy seminars, while volunteering in the day care of a womens shelter, and on the internet. Those are just the places where I've met people who share my values.
Lena
Emily
05-29-2003, 12:09 AM
I didn't need dating advice. I'm fine there. I came here, mistakenly, for advice on how to date a stripper. Thank you drive thru. :P
Why was it a mistake to come? because we didn't tell you what you wanted to hear? You know what I'm tired of hearing (in a strip club)? "hey, what time do you get off work?", "do you ever date guys you meet here?", "what's your REAL name?", "I think you are too good for this job", "you are such a nice, smart, caring person! I see through your facade", etc
Cute_Guy
05-29-2003, 03:45 AM
No, it wasn't a mistake to come, I was mistaken in WHY I came. I was going about this the wrong way. Fortunately, there was good advice thrown my way and I can read between the lines well enough.
I really enjoy reading the posts in these forums. I've found out alot of things that I wouldn't have ever known about you... ;D
Emily
05-29-2003, 04:14 AM
I really enjoy reading the posts in these forums. I've found out alot of things that I wouldn't have ever known about you... ;D
I'm curious....like what?
Brandi
05-29-2003, 04:33 AM
lol,
this is an entertaining thread...
Emily,
oooh I hate that "what time do you get of" thing too.
here's some more annoying ones:
.....you're too nice to be a dancer
.....I'll take you away from all this
.....how much do you usually make a night
On a side note I hate it when someone who considers me an ATF expects me to sit with them when they're in the club and not pay me, of course I'm going to make the rounds if it's more lucrative for me!! This one man acts as though I should be flattered that I'm his ATF. :P
I get the vibe that the men who want to date me are the cheaper clients who want the milk without having to buy the cow. lol Or better yet kidnapp the cow so they they don't have to pay the premium for the milk like eveyone else.
Emily
05-29-2003, 04:47 AM
I get the vibe that the men who want to date me are the cheaper clients who want the milk without having to buy the cow. lol
You've got to train them from the beginning that time is money!
Cute_Guy
05-29-2003, 09:42 AM
I'm curious....like what?
I've learned more about the thought processes that go on in your heads about the men that come to the club and why you do what you do. As well as what steps you take in your appearance (clothes, surgeries, etc), how you practice, how you hustle, etc.
I've learned that I was very wrong in why I wanted to date a dancer. And thats just the tip of the iceberg...;)
I've also learned that some dancers are jaded and some are not, but how some stave that off, I don't know yet...perhaps just personality.../shrug
sadbuttrue
06-24-2003, 12:12 AM
This is an old thread, but I thought I'd throw 2 cents in.
Emily is right about training them early. Some clubs don't have a culture where girls feel they should even hint at getting money for time. You go into another club and some girls are out with it. Sometimes it just doesn't occur to a guy to do it - DUH!
About the best thing that a girl can do (save being direct about it) is gently break away mentioning someone they saw or some other excuse to educate the customer that time is money.
You may be extremely surprised if you ask a dancer what she thinks is fair for an hour of her time. Your jaw may find a new home on the floor or you may end up negotiating the national debt. Trust me they want all of your money. I eventually evolved to an hourly rate with one girl when outside of the champagne room and on off-peak which we can both live with. The relationship is consistent and casual. The way it ought to be.
-Sad-
laplover69
08-01-2005, 05:47 AM
I have know and dated many dancers over the years some very casual "friends like" dates and others more serious. many have turned out to be good "platonic friends" while others just moved on or visa versa. As far as my experiences, I have had no problem in getting real phone numbers from dancers, (some are casually single and some are married) the key is to know whether or not they give your personal info for the sole sake of becoming their "regular" source of income INSIDE the clubs... Sometimes it takes a while to tell, and I always will let it be known upfront if I am sincerely interested in her that I would prefer to spend time in another environment than at your work. If they do it's more than likely not ALL about the $$$.(unless your JUST a sugar daddy to her) BTW many of ther dancers I know constantly change their phone #'s because "customers" often are expecting more than being just their "regular" inside the club.