View Full Version : What do you all think????
Bridgette
02-24-2004, 12:15 PM
Wow, seems like alot of people are getting riled up unnecessarily. No one is saying rape victims are to be blamed for anything. But the point some are trying to make about not putting yourself directly in the line of fire is valid. Parents teach their daughters not to be out alone late at night, or to walk alone (or in small all-female groups) in certain areas or after dark, etc for a reason. The same way we're taught not to get in cars with strangers, or put ourselves in other situations where we'd obviously be very vulnerable and have little to no option to escape....it's not that a woman is EVER to blamed for being raped, but that we ALL need to learn from what happens to others, to be careful not to be easy targets. Men will always rape, no matter if we all walk around in gunny sacks and bhurkas - they will still look for the ones who strike their fancy (appearance, attitude, habits, etc) and who appear to be easy targets (walking alone in secluded areas, for example).
What some have mentioned about being stalked is also totally valid, and we can take steps tolower our risk there as well. Don't always take the same path to/from home at the same time of day, especially if going alone. Be aware of your surroundings and who's there - look around when you're walking to/from your car, before going out the door, etc. Park in lighted areas and preferably in guarded areas or high traffic areas where there will be other people around. When going home from work late at night, get someone to walk with you to your car. Don't walk to the 24-hour corner store at 2am, espeically not alone. Don't walk ANYTIME in an area known for robbery, rape, etc.
Yes we all have 'rights' to do as we please, go where we want when we want and all that. But unfortunately crime exists and people do bad things to each other, and as a result we have to employ common sense strategies in order to lower the chances something bad happens to us!
Kelli
02-24-2004, 12:22 PM
That is some of the worst bs i have ever heard! Being raped has nothing to do with the way the victim dresses. Becoming a rape victim is just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, running into the wrong asshole.
Lurker_001
02-24-2004, 12:39 PM
I didnt hear the show and the original poster was kind of sketchy but sounds to me like there was no justice served for this poor man.I mean maybe the only thing he got out of the police was "what was she wearing?".Its very sad that this guy has to deal with this in that manner but maybe its all he has left....
lestat1
02-24-2004, 12:47 PM
Ok, forget my posts in this thread. Bridgette explained my entire argument better than I managed to do.
seraya
02-24-2004, 02:23 PM
I do believe that when a woman dresses provocatively that she is attracting rapists and bringing out the rapist side in men.
I'm sorry but i totally disagree with this statement.....
A rapist is a rapist there is nothing that i women can or cannot do to bring that side out of him. If a man is going to commit rape, he is going to do this regardless of whether you are wearing a mini skirt and heels or a full length coat and glasses. Rape is not about sex or being sexually aroused.... when i man has rape on his mind a womens attire is the last thing he is thinking about or probably even notices.
I am getting confused because i thought this argument was about rape victims and their clothing.....
Obviously you wouldn't put your life at risk by walking through a dark alley at midnight or by getting into a strangers car or by leaving your drink unattended at a rave. This is because a number of things could happen... you could get jacked, beaten, abducted, killed not only raped. However this has nothing to do with the topic at hand so i don't understand the argument.
Are some of you saying that the rape of a women who is dressed provocatively is justified or more expected than a women who isn't ... Are some of you saying that women should be more aware of what they are wearing so that they do not attract rapists? ... Wasn't this the original question?
Seraya.
tragic-beauty
02-24-2004, 04:21 PM
here some number for yall...
*they are a few years out of date but just to make a point... *
1 out of 8 females are raped by the age of 16
over 60% is by a family member or close family friends
my mom was raped at the tender years of 10 *so sympathize with rape victums*
its a sick world, no matter where you are.. what age you are, how Safe you are.. anything can happen.
Im sure a grown woman could of taken those words alot better then a 13 year old.
most people that talk like that ARE assnine
no matter how far forward we go i still sometimes think that we are back in the time where whitches where burned and women are pieces of property.
Bridgette
02-25-2004, 05:26 AM
To answer Seraya's question:
Well, I think that to some extent a woman's attire does attract rapists on some level. NOT that she is EVER to blame, but if a rapist is out on the prowl, do you think he would target the plain jane looking woman walking alone through the parking lot or the hot chick in a short skirt and heels just getting out of her car, apparently coming from a club? It's late at night and there are few people in the vicinity. The guy has picked the location because he knows it's low traffic at that hour and there's a 24-hour convenience store across the road. All he has to do is sit and wait for a woman to come around alone. If he sees a couple of potential targets, of COURSE he's going to pick the one in the miniskirt. Of course neither of those women should be alone in a place like that late at night, but the one in the miniskirt is at higher risk here.
Also, I think some assholes target hot chicks as a way of taking what they want from a hot chick they know would never give them the time of day. Kind of a 'punishment' if you will, for the attractive woman who has the 'gall' to dress provacatively but to not put out or react positively to his advances. Alot of rapists do so out of frustration. Maybe it's built up frustration, but it's still the hot ones he's after.
Anyway, my main point is that I don't see anything wrong with a woman dressing howEVER she wants. But the same way you wouldn't go walking alone at 2am, a woman should exercise a modicum of caution when going out dressed provacatively. I mean, really, don't we like to dress that way for the attention? And doesn't it make sense that sometimes it could attract the wrong kind of attention along with the kind we want?
Like I said above, men will always rape, no matter what. There is no justification. But we can do things to lower our risk. Flaunting it is fine. Just be aware of HOW and WHERE you're flaunting it, and WHO is watching.
Dreamer
02-28-2004, 10:27 AM
I agree a lot with Farrah. There have been a lot of articles concerning what a woman can do to protect herself against a rape. The replys were as diverse as, carry a gun, kick him in the nuts, carry pepper spray, have adog along, etc. You know the number 1 defense against an attack is? DON'T HAVE ANY ENEMIES! Why wasn't that ever mentioned? I think we all know the answer- because it's practically infeasible! Maybe in the best of all possible worlds, but not in this one. Don't you think I'd be overjoyed if my daughter could walk the streets in total safety to her friends house?
During WWII , the wolfpacks kept sinking allied convoys. The final objective may have been to defeat the axis powers but that proved not to be the easiest task. So we relied upon other tactics such as breaking the enemies code so we could divert them away from the wolfpacks and arrive intact.
Thus we made the carriers more responsible for their actions until we could achieve the final objective. Putting the blame on the enemy did not do anymore good. Saying,"Well the Germans don't honor the rules of war, The Germans have no respect for human life. They don't play fair" did nothing to end the attacks.
Rape is not so much a case of "men vs. women" as much as it is a case of the "strong vs. weak" as it usually is the STRONGER MAN that rapes the WEAKER MAN.
montythegeek
02-28-2004, 12:14 PM
That is some of the worst bs i have ever heard! Being raped has nothing to do with the way the victim dresses. Becoming a rape victim is just being at the wrong place at the wrong time, running into the wrong asshole.
Kelli is dead on. Change the "CRIME word" to bank robbery and it is still a deplorable activity. Banks do not get robbed because of the way the tellers dress. Banks do not get robbed because the pens are crappy. Banks get robbed because the criminal wants something and thinks they can get away with the crime.
on this one i would like to refer to lexis very first posting: even if i run naked in the streets (or make that dancing naked in front of you) NOBODY has the right to try a rape....
man this world pisses me off sometimes. some people are so sick.
Dreamer
03-10-2004, 10:07 AM
Rest assured Lexis because I don't think there is a lawyer or judge in this country that would justify a rapists motive simply on the basis of the victims attire.
No one is trying to justify a rapists actions but if you are standing at a crosswalk, the light is green, the pedestrian walk sign is on, you may well be in your rights to cross the street but it would be good advice to look both ways before you step in case Donna driver is trying to beat the light!
As I said before , rape is more a "bullying" event than a sexual one as many of the rapists are married or have girlfriends. It's just one aspect of their character that they fail to get under control.
As to punishment or safeguards against rapists . I think they should be stringent enough to persuade the potential violator to seek therapy before they choose a victim.
thevalkyrieXXX
03-11-2004, 02:17 PM
I agree with what pretty much everyone has said-rape is an inherently violent act, not a sexual one. Rapists tend to go after women who are alone and look vulnerable. Their attire usually doesn't matter-and neither does age. Although date rape or aquaintence rape is much more common, don't ever go out jogging or walking alone at night. And living on a college campus is also a cause for concern; I go to a fairly large school and while I don't live on campus, the statistics of the occurence of rapes that happen there is frightening. Bottom line: dress very rarely has anything to do with rape.