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RoseLeigh
06-15-2008, 09:32 PM
I think those are fair rules as well.

suprgrl22
06-15-2008, 09:35 PM
Damnit! I just had this long post prepared and accidentally erased it! Anyways.

After reading the most recent post, as in the ones posted this year, it has become apparent to me that ragardless of whether we think we are no, low, medium, or high contact dancers that we all have different definitions of what each of those is. I have always considered myself a no contact dancer but now it appears that other people might disagree.

So here's how I define being a no contact dancer. During a lap dance only the first few seconds of the song are spent standing up. That's when I am dancing in front of him and taking my clothes off. The rest of the dance is spent on his lap whether I have my front or back to him. (Although sometimes I stand on the couch over him- they seem to like that because they can look all the way up at you and your stuff is like right there. Of course, I'm only a topless dance so my stuff stays covered.) He is not allowed to tough me, lick me, suck, bite, or nibble me at all. In return, I do not lick, bite, nibble, or suck him at all and I do not touch him anywhere "where the sun don't shine". I grind the whole lap dance in many many many different positions. Oh yeah, and I totally put my boobs in their face. Usually i sit up on my knees and would touch their nose to my tummy and then slide down so that it ran right between my boobs. For me, all this was normal and I have always thought of it as no contact dancing.

Of course the grinding thing is probably where many people would disagree. But as I said earlier, that's just what I was introduced to when I started dancing. It was the first club I worked at and every one grinded so I figured that was how it was done and I have always done it that way. That's why I didn't see it as actual contact.

(And contrary to what many non-grinders think, they do not cum in like 2 songs. As a matter of fact, in two years at the GC (Gold Club) I think I only ever had one guy cum and the dance ended there. Of course guys get hard but isn't that expected when a girl they find attractive is rubbing her mostly naked body on them? I've done champagne rooms upwards of a half hour and they don't cum.)

So, how do you all define your standards? What do you think of mine? After reading that do most of you consider that no contact still? Or would you call it something else? And when you say you are a no contact or low, or medium, or high contact dancer, what does that mean to you? Let's hear it ladies.:D

RoseLeigh
06-15-2008, 09:39 PM
^^I think that's one way/low contact (my preferred sort of dancing, but hard to come by here!). No contact would, to me, be total air, no grinding.

suprgrl22
06-15-2008, 09:48 PM
:P So would you all think it is safe to say that, for most of us, grinding is considered when trying to decide what type of dancing you do? I feel so silly. After all this time I just never considered it contact.

RoseLeigh
06-15-2008, 10:23 PM
:P So would you all think it is safe to say that, for most of us, grinding is considered when trying to decide what type of dancing you do? I feel so silly. After all this time I just never considered it contact.

Yes, because some places you can't grind, but the guys can touch. It figures into the equation and it's very regional. Like in PA, grinding is taken for granted. I think most places allow at least some, from 'some' up to hard grinding for the whole song.

suprgrl22
06-16-2008, 04:04 PM
Wow! This is all news to me! Lol. I've been so naive. All this time I thought I was the most straight edge a girl could get. Well it's nice to hear other people's opinions. And I'm now thrilled to say I'm a one way low-medium contact dancer. Lol.

dance77
06-16-2008, 06:36 PM
Its all about attitude, it takes time in my experience to get the customer to feel privleged/worthy to enjoy oyur company without offering extras, it is attained through a mixture of confidence and mystique, every dancer will demonstrate this uniquely according to their style. You basically need convince your client that you are worth more than the X-tra girls offer, it's really not that complicated if your in a club full of "extra" girls , it is better if you are in a club full of extra girls, because in that case you can pretend to be more careful and selective, which will draw the guys with the money and the interest to you , most of the time, and you don't need to worry about being more competitive with the other girls who are more skilled and don't put out as much.

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 04:40 AM
Damnit! I just had this long post prepared and accidentally erased it! Anyways.

After reading the most recent post, as in the ones posted this year, it has become apparent to me that ragardless of whether we think we are no, low, medium, or high contact dancers that we all have different definitions of what each of those is. I have always considered myself a no contact dancer but now it appears that other people might disagree.

So here's how I define being a no contact dancer. During a lap dance only the first few seconds of the song are spent standing up. That's when I am dancing in front of him and taking my clothes off. The rest of the dance is spent on his lap whether I have my front or back to him. (Although sometimes I stand on the couch over him- they seem to like that because they can look all the way up at you and your stuff is like right there. Of course, I'm only a topless dance so my stuff stays covered.) He is not allowed to tough me, lick me, suck, bite, or nibble me at all. In return, I do not lick, bite, nibble, or suck him at all and I do not touch him anywhere "where the sun don't shine". I grind the whole lap dance in many many many different positions. Oh yeah, and I totally put my boobs in their face. Usually i sit up on my knees and would touch their nose to my tummy and then slide down so that it ran right between my boobs. For me, all this was normal and I have always thought of it as no contact dancing.

Of course the grinding thing is probably where many people would disagree. But as I said earlier, that's just what I was introduced to when I started dancing. It was the first club I worked at and every one grinded so I figured that was how it was done and I have always done it that way. That's why I didn't see it as actual contact.

(And contrary to what many non-grinders think, they do not cum in like 2 songs. As a matter of fact, in two years at the GC (Gold Club) I think I only ever had one guy cum and the dance ended there. Of course guys get hard but isn't that expected when a girl they find attractive is rubbing her mostly naked body on them? I've done champagne rooms upwards of a half hour and they don't cum.)

So, how do you all define your standards? What do you think of mine? After reading that do most of you consider that no contact still? Or would you call it something else? And when you say you are a no contact or low, or medium, or high contact dancer, what does that mean to you? Let's hear it ladies.:D
i really dont understand why you consider this no contact. no contact is air dances, that is why it is called no contact, emphasis on the word "NO".the boobs in the face and the grinding take it up a lot, and dont you get licked a lot when you do the boobs in the face thing? im always afraid of doing that because whenever my boobs get too close to a guys face he starts to do the sucking mouth position. so gross. what you are doing is medium-full
what you consider low contact is probably full contact
and what you consider medium contact is probably extras
and i dont even wanna know what you consider full/high contact to be.

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 02:30 PM
I wouldn't call one-way contact dances "full-contact."

Her dances sound pretty tame.

the boobs in the face is what is getting me. im afraid of what you consider wild...

RoseLeigh
06-21-2008, 02:36 PM
the boobs in the face is what is getting me. im afraid of what you consider wild...

You can do boobs in the face without coming near the mouth. She already said guys aren't allowed to lick her.And if the guy isn't touching you, that's pretty low contact compared with half the country. You'd really benefit from being a tad less negative towards the other girls. We can't all work in airdance land, even if we'd like to. Full contact means two way contact, generally everywhere but the kitty.

virgoamm
06-21-2008, 02:36 PM
^^::) Seriously (to msonyxorb), you let guys GROPE your tits and ass as work. You know that saying about glass houses? Geez.

RoseLeigh
06-21-2008, 02:41 PM
^^::) Seriously (to msonyxorb), you let guys GROPE your tits and ass as work. You know that saying about glass houses? Geez.

Wait-what? How is THAT airdance land?

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 02:42 PM
You can do boobs in the face without coming near the mouth. She already said guys aren't allowed to lick her.And if the guy isn't touching you, that's pretty low contact compared with half the country. You'd really benefit from being a tad less negative towards the other girls. We can't all work in airdance land, even if we'd like to. Full contact means two way contact, generally everywhere but the kitty.

guys arent allowed to lick me either, doesnt stop them from trying....

virgoamm
06-21-2008, 02:44 PM
It's not. But somehow she's holier than thou because she doesn't grind. ::)

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 02:44 PM
Wait-what? How is THAT airdance land?
when did i say i work in airdance land?i work in LA, its super high contact here....
and i also dont encourage anyone to touch my boobs or ass and now i even tell them to stop, when they try it, i only allowed them to do it before because every other fucking girl in the lap dance area would be allowing it too. i wish i fucking lived in airdance land.

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 02:46 PM
It's not. But somehow she's holier than thou because she doesn't grind. ::)

i also never said in this thread that i dont grind but lets think about this for a second
i see several thread where girls say the guys have cum from their grinding. i have never seen a thread where girls say a guy has cummed from touching their tits...hmm which one is more like prostitution??
not saying its not necessary to make money, im just saying that its not hard to see why i was hesistant to grind when i first started.

and honestly i think if all girls did air dances we would all be making a lot less money doing a lot less work. the only reason why some of us feel we have to grind and allow touching is because no guy is gonna buy a dance from an airdance girl in a club full of high contact dancers.

RoseLeigh
06-21-2008, 02:51 PM
^The prob is you're trying to tell a girl who grinds but doesn't allow touching that she's 'full contact' and implying that her standards are messed up. Some of us grind, some don't, etc. Settle down.

msonyxorb
06-21-2008, 02:56 PM
^The prob is you're trying to tell a girl who grinds but doesn't allow touching that she's 'full contact' and implying that her standards are messed up. Some of us grind, some don't, etc. Settle down.
the way she is defining things IS messed up. im not saying shes messed up for doing any of it, but i hate that she thinks what she does is NO contact. like seriously how fucked up is our society that boobs in the face, full on sitting and touching the guy and grinding is considered the LOWEST contact?

RoseLeigh
06-21-2008, 02:58 PM
the way she is defining things IS messed up. im not saying shes messed up for doing any of it, but i hate that she thinks what she does is NO contact. like seriously how fucked up is our society that boobs in the face, full on sitting and touching the guy and grinding is considered the LOWEST contact?

Saying that what she considers medium contact is prob extras is spiteful and mean. She obviously qualifies contact by people's contact on her, not vice versa. Anyone who didn't dance 10 years ago may never have seen airdances.

i.breathe.in
06-21-2008, 02:59 PM
the way she is defining things IS messed up. im not saying shes messed up for doing any of it, but i hate that she thinks what she does is NO contact. like seriously how fucked up is our society that boobs in the face, full on sitting and touching the guy and grinding is considered the LOWEST contact?

i find it odd the threads your making the most posts on right now are the bunny ranch, the escorting thread and this one. do you have a serious aversion to contact and the people that do so much that youll argue it on 3 forums at once? im confused.

in my best forrest gump voice "and thats all i have to say about thaaat."

exotic0690
06-21-2008, 08:49 PM
I feel molested at work. It is a very high contact level where I work..
I need to be drunk to work..

miabella
06-22-2008, 12:50 AM
i worked in a high contact environment. you don't need to be drunk to work. i found it optimal to drink moderately at work (3-5 drinks per shift), but i did not drink at work the majority of the time, and my money was quite all right (above the extras girls most nights) as a rule. i didn't focus on providing competitive contact-- i focused on dancing for people i liked to be around, who were happy with less contact because it was clear i liked being around them.

i'd hope it is the same in canada, where the money is worth slightly more, at least.

Lexi
06-22-2008, 08:15 AM
Lexi,when you give scores or pec a try,let me know if you still feel the same way( disrespected by cutomers),I dont believe you will feel that way when you are in vip earning 400-600 an hour to just sit,have wonderful conversation and sip on crystal or maybe some lobster or filet mignon,I think you will have a change of heart.Rayana come on you are smarter than to take what some guys on some board are saying as gospel,well ,I dont go on any other sites and most business men are not sitting on some site talking about contact dances and the like.All I can do is qoute things from my experience,but when I did work in a light lap dance club I was highly respected by my fellow dancers,customers and management,for being a clean dancer.


i have heard about this no dancing champagne room thing happening but, i have never seen it. why would guys pay over 400 an hour to talk to a girl? do the girls in NYC not talk on the floor? is it just billionaires who just like showing off? i wish that was common here :-(

4 years later, and guess what?

Scores is being closed down due to prostitution. Ah how times change, eh?
::)

Otoki
09-17-2008, 09:02 AM
No touching. No grinding if possible. I started at a grinding club, and while I got used to it it never stopped bothering me. I don't like customers touching me (although I won't freak out if they pat my upper back a bit and I've danced for them before, knowing that that's where their hand will stay), but I prefer to not be touched.

Fionaver
05-05-2009, 08:01 AM
I understand that it's all about boundaries, but my issue is the guys that just keep pushing past them.

Overall, I don't like to be touched. I don't really like sex all that much and I don't even like hugs. Just... ick... If I'm not in control, fuck off. My limits for VIP are mostly vag/crack/tits are really hands-off. And I ended up dancing for the asshole who wouldn't respect my limits and who i couldn't intimidate. He kept pressuring me to lick my asshole (breaking a hands-down, no fluid-exchange rule - some things in life have to be certain) After being dry-humped and being told to pose in certain ways, I think he came.

Actually, I'm pretty goddamn sure he came. He was much less vigorous of a grabber, he wasn't trying to rub his dick against my asshole, and he had a BIG fucking wet spot in a rather conspicuous place. Which he happened to rub against me for a full 20 mins. after the bouncer failed to do his job and duck in.

And it also necessitated a female communal soap reunion. Disinfectant and baby wipes helped; so did the shower after. I just thank my lucky stars that it's OK if I tell my dude about it. And even cooler (although it makes me feel icky) that drunk, strong asshole paid twice the normal rate.

Porr bouncers. You reap what you sow.

mediocrity
05-05-2009, 08:57 AM
No touching. No grinding if possible. I started at a grinding club, and while I got used to it it never stopped bothering me. I don't like customers touching me (although I won't freak out if they pat my upper back a bit and I've danced for them before, knowing that that's where their hand will stay), but I prefer to not be touched.

I am in the same camp. I actually lived in air-dance land forever and didn't learn how to grind until 8 months ago. :-[ I hate doing it. I will avoid it if at all possible, but if I have to, it's the 1-2-3 count and I keep it moving. I made a blog entry recently about how a guy grabbed me when I had my back turned to him in VIP, I tumbled, he wasn't wearing underwear and tried to grind himself against me against my will. It made me feel disgusted and violated.

I try to distract them but maybe rubbing my cheek on their cheek, smiling while looking into their eyes, that kind of crap. I never put my boobs on them either- I sort of lean over and hover about 6 inches up.

I'm not much of a touchy-feely person in real life either though. And we all know I am going through a phase right now.:-\ Le sigh.

My definitions?:

Airdancing: Zero contact, dancing between their knees, swaying and be-bopping to the music looking sexy.

Light contact: Touching of some "safe" areas, such as legs or sides.

Medium contact: Two way touching of safe areas, plus grinding.

High contact: Touching everything but the kitty, heavy grinding.

Hard contact: Touching everything, likely even the kitty. Licking, boob sucking, heavy grinding.

Ps. I had no idea people could grind facing their customer. Doesn't that hurt? I never thought to use anything but my butt cheeks, but then again we are prohibited from straddling... and I don't want my bajingo on someone's dirty pants.

MarvelGirl
05-05-2009, 09:23 AM
This was an interesting thread.

For me, the contact itself isn't what bothers me, it's some random guy expecting to be able to grope all over my body for a lousy $20. That's just offensive. As for extras... the prices I hear that girls are accepting for sexual favors are much much lower than the going rate. If a girl is going to suck a dick for $20 or $40 in the club, then why not just put an ad on craigslist for $100 blowjobs. She'd still be one of the cheapest girls on there.

But, that'd make her a whore! oh noes! It's just sad, I see girls doing way too much for way too little because they have no concept of the market value of their actions. The hygiene issue bothers me too, clubs are dirty, customers and dancers have been touching money all night, which is filthy. I don't want filth all over my body, and I certainly don't want it inside me.

I don't look down on anyone, I just think it's sad when a beautiful young girl thinks she's only worth a couple of dollars.

MissMynxx
05-05-2009, 11:57 AM
Wow, the judgmental attitudes running around in this thread are amazing. MAY as well throw in my 2-cents.

I work in a VERY high-hard contact club. And an extras club. Not uncommon to find used condoms in the DR bathrooms, or hear girls talking about their "price".

I don't provide straight-up sexual extras, but I too admit that I have a price. Someone laid enough verifiable cash in front of me, I'd be willing to talk. My typical lap dance is high-contact - full grinding, touching the customer and letting him touch me everywhere but coochie and boobs. For a good enough tip up front, they're welcome to grope on my boobies all they want.

I do very well for myself, and feel completely comfortable with being touched in such a way. I get very irate when they go for the cooch, and I lay out the rules fast and I enforce them. Lap dances and the smaller VIP lounge, I allow ABSOLUTELY no contact where my g-string would usually cover. For enough money, in VIP, I'm willing to consider it.

I'm very good at separating work and "normal" life, so I'm not bothered by it, nor do I feel "dirty" when I come home from work. *shrugs*

black_widow
05-05-2009, 01:27 PM
I personally don't have much of an issue with contact. I don't feel dirty afterwards, I don't get upset about it, and I don't really feel violated. I feel like that's just kinda the business I'm in, and that's the product I'm selling and if I'm not willing to sell it, then I need to move to a different business. The club I'm at now is a hard contact club--we are expected to let the customer touch our boobs, we straddle, grind, touch ourselves, all this--and honestly, as long as the customer DOES NOT TOUCH my pussy I'm totally fine with it. The line I draw with contact is for hygenic reasons--I am NOT willing to get infected with diseases for a going rate of $40 a song (the cost of lapdances at my club). As long as the touching won't infect me with things, I don't really care about it. Like, I let men grab, slap, touch my ass and my boobs (as long as they aren't hurting me--if they grab or slap too hard, I WILL remove the priviledge), and I let them touch my stomach, back, legs, wherever and although I refuse to let men kiss me on the mouch (again, diseases), I don't mind if they lightly kiss my neck or my back or wherever. I don't let them suck or kiss my boobs because I have had one too many men actually BITE them (ouch?!) and it's just something that I feel they shouldn't be able to do. I don't allow ANY contact, touching, whatever with anything below my binkini line and personally wouldn't negotiate that at all. I am just scared of diseases and stuff, and even when I'm doing nude dances, I sometimes put down a washcloth that I carry with me so I don't have to rub on their pants (both for them, so they don't get stuff on their clothes, and for me, so I don't get diseases). I do this only when I feel that they are really dirty--which, because the club I'm in gets a lot of really wealthy men, isn't too often, but then I do have days where I'm just feeling neurotic and I do it anyways, and I ALWAYS do it during my peroid week.

I started out dancing in very hard contact clubs, and it's just always been the norm for me. I've neve had any problems with it and maybe that's because I have boundry issues, but I just also think there are some girls out there that honestly don't really mind. I mean, I ran away from home and stuff and grew up in the streets and I've lived a pretty hard life, so compared with girls that came from nice homes and rich parents, I guess I have different rules and morals, but for me, I feel the money I make negates any issues I would have with touching. I don't let random people outside the club touch me, and I'm actually pretty anti-social and I don't really like contact at all--I'm not a snuggly person, and I've actually been described by people who know me outside of work as really "cold", so it's not like I'm naturally inclined to let people do this to me. I just feel like it's work, and that's part of work, and I'd rather let guys touch me for money than work at Del Taco for $5/hr. With dancing, I can finally live the life I want to live, and I can get the things I want, so I don't really feel like it's abusing me or exploiting me at all. If anything, I feel like the girls exploit the men who come in, vs the other way around.

I'm just a very hard, driven person and I'm not dancing for any other reason other than to get money. I hustle hard, and I have to really work to be smiley enough at work to get people to want to buy dances from me. For me, at work, the hardest part isn't the whole sexual touching/no touching aspects, its the pretending that you're not there to make money. I am better now than I was in the past, but I'm just naturally a very straight forward, no non-sense, cold hearted money getting girl and to have to sit and flirt with people and talk and blah blah blah and pretend to enjoy it is way more disgusting to me then letting them touch you. If anything, I go home feeling gross that I had to pretend to enjoy things, enjoy work, then I go home feeling gross that some dude touched me. It's only contact--and not even any contact that will make you sick. I don't see what the big deal is honestly. And it's not like I don't enjoy my work per se--I do like it, I like what it gets me, but like any job, it's a JOB and unfortunately you really have to pretend to just be "hanging out" and "partying" when you're a dancer. You can't just sit around and focus your energy--you have to always put a fake smile on and pretend that you're drunk and laugh and giggle and flirt--that's exhausting!

SO I guess I'm one of those contact girls that's a contact girl because I'm lazy. I don't like playing head games with men, I don't like flirting (I'm bad at in anyways--I'm the sort of girl that just says "Hey I like you, I want you, let's go have sex, and I'll decide afterwards if you're worth keeping around and mabye dating"--I don't DO the sutble little games of courtship that other people do), and working in clubs with no contact or light contact really are all about mind games and flirting and manipulation and suggestion and that to me is more of an effort and more disgusting than just letting some dude touch your boob. It's like, I could work in a no contact club and work for two hours on some guy, doing these elaborate mind games, and then MAYBE I'd get him to do one $20 dance. OR I could work at a hard contact club, walk up to a guy, say "hey wanna grab my boobs for $40 a song?" and within less than a minute, be giving him a REAL $40 dance, and then continuing that for another 30 songs because it's a REAL dance--real touching, real interaction, vs. the mindgames and trickery of no contact clubs. It just seems like a better deal for the men, less work for me, and less stupid BS talking and flirting crap that I don't like and that makes me feel fake to begin with.

Plus--and now, many people will disagree with me on this--but I personally think that MOST men that come into strip clubs come in to see, feel, grab and rub against female bodies. They DON'T come in looking for some girl to talk to them for hours, or some chick to play mind games with them, because they could go to a bar and find that. Hell, most of their wives or girlfriends fuck with them in the head and flirt then don't put out and that's why they come to strip clubs IN THE FIRST PLACE. Men come in to touch and feel and be sexual with women, because they can't get that anywhere else, and when you allow them to really do that, i.e. TOUCH you, they will spend more and they will come back more often. I may be wrong on this but since women manipulate and play mind games with men ALL THE TIME in real life, I just think that the LAST THING men want when they come into a strip club is to have to go through that YET AGAIN. They just want straightforward, no nonsense, female nudity and female sexuality.

Now maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel like it's true, and for me, out of all the years I've been dancing, I've seen this hold true MORESO than the myth that men come in for companionship. I mean, yeah, some do, and some genuinely just want a girl to be interested in them, and some just want to "talk" but those are NOT the typical dudes that come in. You can tell them from a mile away though, and they are nice to have because it is easier to deal with them, but for the majority of men, this doesn't hold true I don't think. Sure, they want girls to be interested in them, but they MORE THAN THAT, want to fondle, touch, be close to the women; plus, and maybe this is just the big cities I work in, most men REALIZE that you're being paid to do this, and they realize that the attention is fake, that you're doing it because you're paid, so it cheapens it, and they really know that even if you're sitting and talking to them, it's about money, so they may as well get their money's worth if they are paying (ie. touching, sexual interactions, not just talking).

I've tried to work no contact clubs, and I've been in cities where there just is no contact allowed, PEROID, but I always make less money there and I hate working them because I feel like I waste SO MUCH TIME talking to idiots who then won't buy a dance because "well, buying a dance is stupid--I don't really get anything out of it". And honestly, I don't blame the guys--as a customer (because I do enjoy going to strip clubs as one), I WANT CONTACT, otherwise I feel like there is no reason for a dance. If I wanted to see a girl dancing semi-nude, or nude, 3 inches or 6 inches or 6 feet from me, I'd just sit close to the stage. There has to be something else about the lapdance that's going to want to make me purchase one. And in air dance/light contact clubs there just isn't, so then you waste all this time talking talking pretending being fake....for nothing. For a 5 dollar stage tip. Yay.

Also, the lighter the contact of the club, the more the men there want you to fuck with their heads. Of all the types of strip clubs, the light contact ones attract the most men who just want to "talk", which makes sense, because regular men who want sexuality KNOW better than to go to air dance clubs because they won't get any. So then working air dance clubs leaves you with these fucked up head case men that want you to mess with their brains for hours and do all these intraciate flirty games and then they end up not buying more than 2 dances, and you leave, mentally exhausted and used and fustrated. For me, TOTALLY not worth the effort, when I can maintain my mental capabilities and my concentration and just dance for straightforward men that come in for the purpose of strip clubs--sexuality.

Now, I'm also a hardcore NO EXTRA'S GIRL--just because I'm ok with hard contact doesn't mean I'm ok with extra's. NEVER EVER EVER am I or will I do that, and although most hard contact clubs ARE extra's clubs, that doesn't mean that all girls that work there are extra's girls and it DEFINATELY doesn't mean that the higher earning girls are all extras girls, although sometimes that is is the case. I personally earn on the higher end in my club, and most of the other girls who make a lot are clean dancers also. We just allow men to touch in "hard" ways and I think because of this, men are willing to tip more, buy more dances, and in the long run, try less funny stuff because they already feel they are getting what they paid for. I have less men trying to finger me in hard contact clubs than in air dance clubs, and I think it's because if you give them at least some of what they want, they will be satisified and less likely to push the boundries than if you just dance around and let them do nothing. I mean, sure, there are the guys that see a vag and freak out and have to be stupid about it, but for the most part, if you allow a man to touch a boob, he's going to think less about trying to finger a vag. If that makes sense.

From my experience, the girls that give extras are the girls that don't last long in the industry--it has nothing to do with the amount of contact you allow men to have with you. The ones that end up sucking dick and all this either freak out and quit and become drug addicts or whatever or they just go into prosititution in the right way or they find a pimp and end up on the streets. The girls that, like me, just like the no BS of hard contact clubs but know better than to whore ourselves out for $40 bucks, can last JUST as long as girls in no contact clubs, and honestly, I think, get LESS messed up in the head in the long run, because our work doesn't require us to play so many mind games and spend so many hours having the dumbest conversations with the most retarded men. I mean, I know girls who have worked in hard contact clubs for over 9 years and they are some of my best friends and most well adjusted and successful women I know. Contact has NOTHING to do with your mental well being I don't think. Sure, it might be somewhat of a "boundry issue" thing, but I'd rather have boundry issues then mental mind playing issues anyday!

I think it's all just your own personal boundries and what you feel comfortable doing and what you're naturally inclined to do. I think upbrining also affects these things, and I was raised in a family with little contact and little touchy feeley stuff, so for me, these aspects of life are not "special" or "initmate" so I don't feel weird engaging in them with people for money. I think if you were raised in a very lovey family and were taught that you hug and touch only people you love, I could see why you'd have such an issue with other random people touching you. But for me, I personally find more problems (and again, I was raised this way) relating MENTALLY to random people and talking to them ect, than any physical contact.

hazel_eyes
05-05-2009, 01:49 PM
*****

Otoki
05-05-2009, 02:41 PM
I am in the same camp. I actually lived in air-dance land forever and didn't learn how to grind until 8 months ago. :-[ I hate doing it. I will avoid it if at all possible, but if I have to, it's the 1-2-3 count and I keep it moving. I made a blog entry recently about how a guy grabbed me when I had my back turned to him in VIP, I tumbled, he wasn't wearing underwear and tried to grind himself against me against my will. It made me feel disgusted and violated.

I try to distract them but maybe rubbing my cheek on their cheek, smiling while looking into their eyes, that kind of crap. I never put my boobs on them either- I sort of lean over and hover about 6 inches up.

I'm not much of a touchy-feely person in real life either though. And we all know I am going through a phase right now.:-\ Le sigh.

My definitions?:

Airdancing: Zero contact, dancing between their knees, swaying and be-bopping to the music looking sexy.

Light contact: Touching of some "safe" areas, such as legs or sides.

Medium contact: Two way touching of safe areas, plus grinding.

High contact: Touching everything but the kitty, heavy grinding.

Hard contact: Touching everything, likely even the kitty. Licking, boob sucking, heavy grinding.

Ps. I had no idea people could grind facing their customer. Doesn't that hurt? I never thought to use anything but my butt cheeks, but then again we are prohibited from straddling... and I don't want my bajingo on someone's dirty pants.
The club where I started had a lot of that. I tried it, and it was uncomfortable, so I just opted to grind facing away. I'm so glad I don't work in that sort of place now.

chitownchick
05-05-2009, 06:04 PM
i thought my club was high contact but after many of you have disussed this im beginning to think its light to medium contact. we can touch the customer, i.e., chest, face, hands, legs, neck, no touching the weiner though. however, the guys cant touch us, except for ( and these are my boundaries, and the laws are similair but i dont know whatother girls really do. personally i have done some dances and the girls allow only touching of their lower leg to mid thigh or arms and neck depending on the customer. they check in on us once every song and they really do look in, we get fined if the curtain is not left opened enough. anyways, i am comfortable with this. if i wwasnt i wouldnt do it. however i dont mind grinding but if they are wearing thin pants and i can really feel their dick i sometimes change my moves up a little bit. i touch their legs and arms, stomach, chest , face and im fine with doing that. if they are a grabby customer i move their hand away and if they start asking why i wont let them touch my tits, pussy whatever even for money i explain that i will lose my job, this is if their relentless, i dontlike to break up the dance by saying somethign like that. eventhough i have done dances with other girls im sure they do different things behind a curtain without another girl their, you just never know. so in conclusion, i follow the laws and only do what im comfortable with. i never knew there were clubs that allowed "hard contact" as defined above in mediocritys message.

chitownchick
05-05-2009, 06:17 PM
i grind facing the customer, didnt know that other people didnt do that...however i usually put one legbetween their legs and rub that leg on their crotch and then pretend to kind grind on their leg, this is only because if they cum i dont want it to get on me, but sometimes i will do grinding on the front, i do it from the back too, i have a bunch of different positions i change up while doing lapdances.m


BLACK_WIDOW:

I just feel like it's work, and that's part of work, and I'd rather let guys touch me for money than work at Del Taco for $5/hr. With dancing, I can finally live the life I want to live, and I can get the things I want, so I don't really feel like it's abusing me or exploiting me at all. If anything, I feel like the girls exploit the men who come in, vs the other way around.
its the pretending that you're not there to make money. I am better now than I was in the past, but I'm just naturally a very straight forward, no non-sense, cold hearted money getting girl and to have to sit and flirt with people and talk and blah blah blah and pretend to enjoy it is way more disgusting to me then letting them touch you.


i agree completely with above statements, i also allow a kiss on the cheek or neck because i dont want to seem completely cold and to me (this only relates to me) i feel like it makes the experience more real if they can at least give me a kiss on the cheek. however i too am a germ freak and if the person seems very dirty or sick i will not even barely grind on them during a dance. their is an attorney who is my regular and he will kiss me on the cheek but he is very well groomed and obviously taken care.

charlie61
05-05-2009, 08:47 PM
SO I guess I'm one of those contact girls that's a contact girl because I'm lazy. I don't like playing head games with men, I don't like flirting (I'm bad at in anyways--I'm the sort of girl that just says "Hey I like you, I want you, let's go have sex, and I'll decide afterwards if you're worth keeping around and mabye dating"--I don't DO the sutble little games of courtship that other people do), and working in clubs with no contact or light contact really are all about mind games and flirting and manipulation and suggestion and that to me is more of an effort and more disgusting than just letting some dude touch your boob. It's like, I could work in a no contact club and work for two hours on some guy, doing these elaborate mind games, and then MAYBE I'd get him to do one $20 dance. OR I could work at a hard contact club, walk up to a guy, say "hey wanna grab my boobs for $40 a song?" and within less than a minute, be giving him a REAL $40 dance, and then continuing that for another 30 songs because it's a REAL dance--real touching, real interaction, vs. the mindgames and trickery of no contact clubs. It just seems like a better deal for the men, less work for me, and less stupid BS talking and flirting crap that I don't like and that makes me feel fake to begin with.



I know you're probably just talking about yourself here (as in, you feel like you're conning people when you sell them no-contact dances), but I feel like I should mention that it is possible to give a sensual air dance to someone without tricking them into thinking they'll get more. I'm a top earner at my nude, no-contact club, and I've never tricked anyone into spending money on me. I have fun flirting, they have fun flirting back, and I rarely have a dissatisfied customer (because they know what the rules are when they walk into the club).

Again, I know you didn't mean to put down no-contact clubs, but I just wanted to put in a good word as a dancer who works in one. :)

suprgrl22
05-05-2009, 09:24 PM
:O;DWhen I first responded to this thread ages ago I just never realized how intricate the subject really was. It's amazing to me to read all the different responses and see all the tiny subleties in the way each one of us dances. Something that one of us might think is nothing is a huge no go for another person, but then that individual might dance in a way that bothers the former. It's wild! Lol.

Otoki
05-06-2009, 08:04 AM
I know you're probably just talking about yourself here (as in, you feel like you're conning people when you sell them no-contact dances), but I feel like I should mention that it is possible to give a sensual air dance to someone without tricking them into thinking they'll get more. I'm a top earner at my nude, no-contact club, and I've never tricked anyone into spending money on me. I have fun flirting, they have fun flirting back, and I rarely have a dissatisfied customer (because they know what the rules are when they walk into the club).

Again, I know you didn't mean to put down no-contact clubs, but I just wanted to put in a good word as a dancer who works in one. :)
Thank you for this, charlie.

I have never felt like I was cheating someone by following the rules and my comfort levels. I feel much sexier working at a no-grind club because I focus on acting and sensuality (and eye contact, smiling, giving the customer lots of attention) without essentially giving the dude a handjob with my leg/butt/stomach/whatever. The way guys react to the latter is no where near as powerful (or as profitable) for me as their reaction to the more sensual, less contact lapdance.

Of course, the lapdances I do now allow me to touch the customer (anywhere but the crotch and butt) and allow me to sit on one leg, but not directly on their crotch. It's between light contact and air dance. I'm very comfortable with it and don't feel like customers are "entitled" to more contact than that. It's illegal in my state (although most clubs at least allow constant grinding) and if they want that service there are plenty of prositutes who deserve their money (and would be within their comfort zones). They make an honest living, too, and I see no reason why I should break my limits in order to make a customer feel like he "got his money's worth". If following the law isn't enough, they can find someone else.

chitownchick
05-06-2009, 06:30 PM
MOST OF THE OPNIONS USED IN THIS CONVERSATION ARE NOT THOSE OF MINE, I AM NOT INTENDING TO OFFEND ANYONE IN THIS STATEMENT I AM ABOUT TO MAKE, THIS WAS A CONVERSATION A CUSTOMER STARTED WITH ME ABOUT LAP DANCES:

i pitced my dance and he said i dont see the point in dance because they just get the guy horny and they dont do anything for me. i was like, yea i have heard this before from customers, but then why dont you go to a regular bar (there was more random conversation before this and at one point i thought i could get a dance out of the customer but after realizing i couldnt i just put in my real opinion) so he goes, well this was the closest place to where i work. and i was like, well you know the girls have to make money, thats why we work here, so if you think lap dances suck and arent going to tip on stage then why would you even want to walk into a strip club, it doesnt make sense to me, can you see where i am coming from. after that he did tip me on stage after this one dollar but still maybe he will tip better on stage next time he is at a club. i also went on to say that lap dances are things that men dont get at home, at least most dont. i said to him "do you have a girlfriend" and he said no. so i went on to say, well maybe just for a change its fun for some men to get things they dont get at home, it seems naughty or "bad" or sneeky anyways, so then he goes into airdances, and how they are even more pointless then a full contact dance because well there is no contact. so i go, well the point of a lap dance for me is that it is sensual, and some people may get off during one,some may get a hard on and some guys may just enjoy having a girl hug them and sit on their lap during the dance. a lapdance is not always about grinding the guy so hard he nuts in his pants, so that would be where an airdance comes into play for some customers. especially customers that are faithful and dont want to feel guily when they go home, im not saying that grinding or contact makes men feel guilty but i did have an ex that would have thought that a full contact dance was cheating so im assuming there are others like that. i have alot of customers that want a dance but for the second or fourth whatever song i will just sit on their lap and rub their shoulders and talk. i went on to explain that contact, shoulder rubs, just running someones back, hugging them (no groping) is very sensual and alot of men seek out this contact over a handjob . he just said, but you can see where i am coming from right?

anyways this is just from one mans point of view....i thought it kind of fit the subject context here....

Otoki
05-07-2009, 07:57 AM
MOST OF THE OPNIONS USED IN THIS CONVERSATION ARE NOT THOSE OF MINE, I AM NOT INTENDING TO OFFEND ANYONE IN THIS STATEMENT I AM ABOUT TO MAKE, THIS WAS A CONVERSATION A CUSTOMER STARTED WITH ME ABOUT LAP DANCES:

i pitced my dance and he said i dont see the point in dance because they just get the guy horny and they dont do anything for me. i was like, yea i have heard this before from customers, but then why dont you go to a regular bar (there was more random conversation before this and at one point i thought i could get a dance out of the customer but after realizing i couldnt i just put in my real opinion) so he goes, well this was the closest place to where i work. and i was like, well you know the girls have to make money, thats why we work here, so if you think lap dances suck and arent going to tip on stage then why would you even want to walk into a strip club, it doesnt make sense to me, can you see where i am coming from. after that he did tip me on stage after this one dollar but still maybe he will tip better on stage next time he is at a club. i also went on to say that lap dances are things that men dont get at home, at least most dont. i said to him "do you have a girlfriend" and he said no. so i went on to say, well maybe just for a change its fun for some men to get things they dont get at home, it seems naughty or "bad" or sneeky anyways, so then he goes into airdances, and how they are even more pointless then a full contact dance because well there is no contact. so i go, well the point of a lap dance for me is that it is sensual, and some people may get off during one,some may get a hard on and some guys may just enjoy having a girl hug them and sit on their lap during the dance. a lapdance is not always about grinding the guy so hard he nuts in his pants, so that would be where an airdance comes into play for some customers. especially customers that are faithful and dont want to feel guily when they go home, im not saying that grinding or contact makes men feel guilty but i did have an ex that would have thought that a full contact dance was cheating so im assuming there are others like that. i have alot of customers that want a dance but for the second or fourth whatever song i will just sit on their lap and rub their shoulders and talk. i went on to explain that contact, shoulder rubs, just running someones back, hugging them (no groping) is very sensual and alot of men seek out this contact over a handjob . he just said, but you can see where i am coming from right?

anyways this is just from one mans point of view....i thought it kind of fit the subject context here....
Thanks for posting this. I hear some version of this at least once a week. I don't have your patience to talk to them about it, so I usually just say something about how I'm there to make money, and walk away. These guys NEVER spend money on me.

KylieS2
05-07-2009, 09:21 AM
I started at a medium to high contact club... grinding, guys could touch my arms and back and at first I was ok with it but after a while I stopped doing lap dances all together and just worked on stage (it was the kind of club where I could make a lot of money on stage). It happened after I was grinding and the guy CAME on me... he didn't make any indication this was happening and I was still relatively new and naive so I just didn't know. I was completely grossed out after that.

Now, I work in very low contact clubs... mostly air dances with the occasional me touching his leg or arm or something and no grinding. I wouldn't mind a little more contact and I don't really mind the customer touching my arms or back or whatever but I couldn't do any grinding again.

I think it's whatever you are comfortable with. I don't hold anything against girls who do grinding/heavy contact... I personally would never let a guy touch my boobs or crotch no matter how much money he was offering me but we all have certain boundaries like other people have said.

dangerousdiva
05-07-2009, 10:22 AM
For me, the contact itself isn't what bothers me, it's some random guy expecting to be able to grope all over my body for a lousy $20. That's just offensive. As for extras... the prices I hear that girls are accepting for sexual favors are much much lower than the going rate. If a girl is going to suck a dick for $20 or $40 in the club, then why not just put an ad on craigslist for $100 blowjobs. She'd still be one of the cheapest girls on there.

But, that'd make her a whore! oh noes! It's just sad, I see girls doing way too much for way too little because they have no concept of the market value of their actions. The hygiene issue bothers me too, clubs are dirty, customers and dancers have been touching money all night, which is filthy. I don't want filth all over my body, and I certainly don't want it inside me.

I don't look down on anyone, I just think it's sad when a beautiful young girl thinks she's only worth a couple of dollars.

^WORD!!!

Contact doesn't bother me as long as I'm getting properly compensated for it. I'll be damned if some guy tries to grope me for a measly $20. Eff that!!

charlie61
05-07-2009, 01:56 PM
I think the problem is that, in this thread, there is a lot of put downs to those who work in heavy contact, ranging from insinuation that they're giving too much away for too little money, that it's dirty, that guys shouldn't want it, etc.

I know it's all just personal opinion, but when you have 5 pages of strippers saying that hard contact is, in some manner of speaking, not as classy as air dances, it gets people's backs up.

I know it never occurred to me that grinding or being touched by a customer was dirty until I read this thread.

Just my two cents.

Definitely. High contact/no contact both have their benefits and consequences, and different types are right for different people. Didn't mean to imply any judgment. :)

Otoki
05-08-2009, 09:46 AM
I think the problem is that, in this thread, there is a lot of put downs to those who work in heavy contact, ranging from insinuation that they're giving too much away for too little money, that it's dirty, that guys shouldn't want it, etc.

I know it's all just personal opinion, but when you have 5 pages of strippers saying that hard contact is, in some manner of speaking, not as classy as air dances, it gets people's backs up.

I know it never occurred to me that grinding or being touched by a customer was dirty until I read this thread.

Just my two cents.
This is definitely true, and I apologize if any of my posts come off that way. When you've only worked at medium or light contact clubs, the thought of doing high contact for the same amount of money can seem strange (and illogical) to many people.

There are some clubs in which you can compete with high contact by doing medium or low contact dances and still make money. That was my first club. I have also worked at clubs where refusing to do medium contact dances lost me money. It really depends on the environment.

I was always sort of bothered by grinding, but put up with it because I thought that was how you were supposed to do dances. As soon as I found out that light contact (no grinding) dances were the only legal option, I was overjoyed because that fits my comfort level much better. I never felt the need to "deal" with grinding, but I'm definitely happy not to do it. Now when I work in clubs with grinding, I do no-grind dances and (usually) make decent money anyway.

It's all about the rules and your comfort level.

Otoki
05-08-2009, 09:50 AM
This was an interesting thread.

For me, the contact itself isn't what bothers me, it's some random guy expecting to be able to grope all over my body for a lousy $20. That's just offensive. As for extras... the prices I hear that girls are accepting for sexual favors are much much lower than the going rate. If a girl is going to suck a dick for $20 or $40 in the club, then why not just put an ad on craigslist for $100 blowjobs. She'd still be one of the cheapest girls on there.

But, that'd make her a whore! oh noes! It's just sad, I see girls doing way too much for way too little because they have no concept of the market value of their actions. The hygiene issue bothers me too, clubs are dirty, customers and dancers have been touching money all night, which is filthy. I don't want filth all over my body, and I certainly don't want it inside me.

I don't look down on anyone, I just think it's sad when a beautiful young girl thinks she's only worth a couple of dollars.
I definitely feel this way. I also get saddened when I realize that certain girls do extra (or even as much as the rules allow, which can be tame) not out of comfort but out of desperation, and need chemical help to deal with what they're doing.

lmiller22134
05-14-2009, 07:12 PM
This was an interesting thread.

For me, the contact itself isn't what bothers me, it's some random guy expecting to be able to grope all over my body for a lousy $20. That's just offensive. As for extras... the prices I hear that girls are accepting for sexual favors are much much lower than the going rate. If a girl is going to suck a dick for $20 or $40 in the club, then why not just put an ad on craigslist for $100 blowjobs. She'd still be one of the cheapest girls on there.

But, that'd make her a whore! oh noes! It's just sad, I see girls doing way too much for way too little because they have no concept of the market value of their actions. The hygiene issue bothers me too, clubs are dirty, customers and dancers have been touching money all night, which is filthy. I don't want filth all over my body, and I certainly don't want it inside me.

I don't look down on anyone, I just think it's sad when a beautiful young girl thinks she's only worth a couple of dollars.
I am with you on this. I have worked at high contact places and dont mind the contact in and of itself. What I do mind is when guys try to get it cheeply. Honestly i dont give a rats ass what the guy is touching as long as its not my genitals, i dont feel anything and i dont get turned on so its nothing to me, but i KNOW I can demand more than 20 bucks for it and when a guy tries to do it for 20 bucks THATS when it pisses me off.

The one thing I dislike about working is not the contact level, but the mind games a lot of guys play and that includes trying to get as much contact for as little money as possible. The only things that are definitely off limits for me is any acts of prostitution, "finishing the guy off" even if its just via grinding, and fluid exchange, and that includes kissing my body! It is sooo grosss and i would rather have a guy grab my boobs than kiss my neck and get his disgusting slobber all over it. Ive never felt bad or molested because of high contact and i think that is a purely psychological thing that you have been taught from childhood to feel guilty about. I dont see boob or ass grabbing as any worse than anyone touching your hand. Right now i work at a medium contact club though and thus do not allow that kind of touching. I always respect the club's rules.

Oh another thing I dont look foward to, selling. I hate selling. I hate rejection, i hate begging. I hate sitting and talking to guys and having to convince them to buy a dance from me. Id rather work at a high contact place where I just go up to guys and they buy from me rather than a low contact place where guys make me work for it and want to know my life story or want me to pretend I'm in love with them. I guess I am lazy.

lmiller22134
05-14-2009, 09:59 PM
I only start undressing after the first song. Top doesn't come off 'til dance 3, if they're good. I find that's been a great way to control giving away too much too soon, for the most part.
I don't work at a club where we have topless or nude dances, but when I do i know customers would feel pissed off and scam if i did not undress right away. You are lucky to work in a place where customers are nice enough to not feel scammed and complain if you were to do this. i know where I live there are no clubs where this would be considered acceptable. When i worked at a nude club i got yelled at if i didnt take off all my clothes on stage (by the managers) so i cant imagine the wrath id get if a customer complained i didnt take my clothes off in a topless or nude dance. unfortunately in the city i work at, customers always come first

NREXM
05-15-2009, 05:16 PM
I prefer doing medium/high contact dances because I can charge more for each dance. My base charge is $20 for one way touching (he cannot touch me) and $40 for two way touching. Surprisingly enough, most men buy the $40 dance over the $20 dance. I do not allow men to grab my privates, undress me, or kiss me. I'm comfortable with what I do and do no find it degrading. I leave at the end of the night being content with myself and my job.

I really believe you should do what you feel most comfortable with. No one should have to force themselves to be uncomfortable just to make money. Sure, I could be making a few grand a night if I offered extras, but it's something I'd be ashamed of afterward. What other girls are doing is none of my business. I'm not one of those catty girls that get upset when a girl is doing extras. To each their own. I make good money doing something I love so I'm in no position to condemn someone for conducting business in their own ways.

ScarletPhoenix
05-16-2009, 05:52 PM
My contact level depends on where I'm doing the dance, and with whom. Icky, grabby, or unhygienic dudes get the least from me. A polite, clean-cut man who doesn't demand raunchiness from the start gets a lot more.

I do low contact on the floor, and make higher contact in VIP a selling point. My grinding goes anywhere from non-existent (when my panties are off) to quite vigorous (panties still on, in VIP, with custies that don't skeeze me out). I don't let anyone touch my pussy or ass crack.

I started dancing in the worst dives of Houston, Texas. I got used to contact REAL fast. It doesn't bother me, and I actually prefer giving a dance with the custies hands on my hips or waist. It feels more personal, and I can better gauge how they like the dance. Poking, grabbing, and licking turn me into an ice queen, though. That's just disgusting, especially during a $20 table dance! Puh LEEZE!

XAnastasiaX
01-07-2010, 05:38 PM
I totally agree with you hun. I personally obide by a torso rule. I don't want anyone grabbing my tits, ass or pussy. I don't mind hair ( especially when you are sexily pulling it) or if you touch my legs ( they go on for days as you know and i wear sexy stockings). I do like someone to keep his or her tongue in their mouth though. eewww

Firewall
01-07-2010, 11:54 PM
It's hard for me to decide what I want to do. My club is SUPPOSED to be 0 contact, but if the cops aren't there, the girls regularly let the guys' faces into their boobs, like its EXPECTED for every dancer to face-boob any customer with a $1 everytime she dances on stage. Then lapdances are like grinding and groping and I'm like ... shit, I don't want to get in trouble, and I don't want to be the least-earning, either. Mehh fucking ROB bitches giving away their goodies and making customers expect it. :( I don't wanna do that!

charlie61
01-08-2010, 10:41 AM
^ I'm a top earner in the exact same situation, and I don't do any of that stuff. If you don't let it get to you, 99% of customers won't mind that you're a no-contact dancer.