View Full Version : Contact Dancers: How do You Feel About Contact?
GlitterBexie
01-08-2010, 06:25 PM
I work in what id call a high contact club in that all the girls grind, but the men do not touch at all, they sit with hands behind backs. Ive only ever worked in that club but we're not required to grind on everyone, it doesnt phase me coz i spose ive never known anything different, if i feel uncomfortable with a particular customer (or they have hurty jeans on!) I wont grind so much! (When i say hurty jeans, i had a lad wearing very expensive beaded/sequined/patterned jeans, i didnt realise why my arse hurt so much till i realised id scratched it all over his adorned trousers and had scrapes all over my booty!!)
audrey_k
01-09-2010, 07:29 AM
I think I'm desensatized.
Because of the California laws regarding age of employment at establishments serving alcohol, I can only work at nude clubs (no alcohol) so I've never been able to work at a no or low contact club. When I first started working I remember feeling uneasy, but it really doesn't bother me anymore. I have boundaries in regard to contact and I don't break them, and I never go home feeling uneasy anymore, but I don't think I would work in a high contact club if I had other options.
amaliasnightout
01-09-2010, 12:28 PM
I work at a high contact club.
When I first started dancing I felt very disturbed and uneasy when guy after guy after guy had their hands all over me, and tried to suck my boobies. I even started bawling once after a guy touched my cooch.
I've definitely let my guard down as time has passed, and it doesn't bother me so much anymore when a guy is crazy with his hands, but I've also grown some balls and won't stand for guys touching the vajayjay area.
If I think about it too much, I won't go in and work though. I have major issues with people touching me in normal, everyday life. I went through a period of my life where I'd have an anxiety attack if people just brushed my shoulder, and hugs from even people I cared about were totally off limits. I just have to turn off my emotions, and transform into the character that is defined by my stage name, and voila - I don't care.
Firewall
01-09-2010, 12:52 PM
^ I'm a top earner in the exact same situation, and I don't do any of that stuff. If you don't let it get to you, 99% of customers won't mind that you're a no-contact dancer.
Thanks, Charlie, that gives me hope. :) These other girls are boring on stage so I hope to be really, really entertaining and get the guys excited to see me work, not just walk up and expect a motorboat to the face. :D :hug:
And, Amalia, that makes sense, too. Outside of the club I've always been very modest, which is a part of the reason why no on expected me to do it. Which is sort of a compliment, i guess. :P So i can just be different inside and not worry about it! :D
charlie61
01-09-2010, 05:54 PM
^ Yes. I can assure you (for the most part)...if you see a decrease in your earnings, it's because you're letting it get to you. Not because the customers care.
The big spenders are not usually guys who like boobs-in-the-face on stage anyway, in my experience. You'll make the big bucks for straight up personality (ability to hold entertaining conversation) and your appearance.
I watch girls go back and grind, make $20, and the guys come back to their seats. I give a guy a $20 air dance, and he asks me to stay with him.
Firewall
01-09-2010, 09:14 PM
^ Definitely. :) All the guys that wanted boobs in face were usually younger and looked like pervy rednecks anyways. All the high spenders, I know they were because the manager said they come in and lay down big $$ all the time, were 40+, friendly and NOT getting cheap boobs in their face for a buck lol.
XAnastasiaX
01-12-2010, 05:39 PM
I find that actually the higher spending clients don't want a lot of contact. A girl who gives a sexy strip tease will always have more regulars than a girl who dances slutty and gives the guy whatever he wants. Remember men biologically are programmed to want what they feel they have to work for and can't have.
charlie61
01-13-2010, 11:37 AM
^ Exaaaaactly.
fortune33
01-13-2010, 12:20 PM
Second Anastasia's post...
I have a regular who refuses to see me do stage dances, won't look at my boobs, and will give me 100-300 just to sit and have a drink or 2 with him sporadically throughout the night.
That being said...
My club is pretty high-contact and is known for having a lot of "extras" girls. While I've never seen anything too bad happening in there, I tend to be consciously oblivious of these kinds of things. I quite honestly don't mind if a man touches my legs or my ass, I don't mind giving a pretty raunchy dance (spreading my legs, bending over in front of them, etc), and depending on the customer I don't mind sitting on their lap/straddling them as long as it's not too excessive. Unfortunately, my competition tends to be a little more lenient...I've had more than one customer want to stop in the middle of the dance because I won't let them touch my pussy or suck on a nipple...These men look truly flabbergasted when I say no and are like, "But the other girls here do it!" I wouldn't mind trying a club where low-contact was the norm, but I've only been dancing for a year and like someone else has said, I was "raised" in a high-contact environment.
XAnastasiaX
01-22-2010, 12:19 AM
" The last girl let me do it!"
Then go dance with her!
loren
01-23-2010, 07:42 PM
I think more than anything once you do this for a while you realize that men want to feel connected to you as a dancer not,rubbed on like they are getting dry humped,I once worked in a club I was told had no contact,took my first customer back and across from me the girl was dry humping,bouncing up and down on this guy in a so obnoxious type off manner,well I just did my thing and made more money than anyone all night.I connect more with a customer,give great eye contact ,a slight touch of the arm and face,I wont grind but I will sit on the lap,lean back and brush my hair or cheeck against his,all this is still incredibly sensual and will get you much farther than mindlessly grinding a guy for an entire song.Rmember connect with the customer,not get him off. Thankyou for this post. I am completely freaked out right now. Vice is cracking down in vegas really hard right now. I have always done high contact heavy grinding vegas style dancing. It has never offended me in the slightest. I did a little bit of air dancing in LA for a brief period of time years ago and no one made any money doing that. Heavy vegas grinding is pretty much all I've ever done. My friend taught me how to do a no contact dance that kind of passes for ok in Vegas. But I feel like I am ripping the guy off when I do this. I got a dance violation warning a few weeks ago and they threatened us with a criminal record if we get in trouble again. I have been so afraid to work and I am so broke. Right now its really tough in vegas. There are a lot of girls not even making their house fee back. e
Even on a friday night (and this is convention season). I just don't know how we are going to survive out here. When guys come to vegas they expect a vegas style dance. I know its not worth a criminal record so I can't do it anymore. Fortunately I have other job skills but It's not like there are a million normal jobs available. We have over 14% unemployment.
loren
01-23-2010, 08:15 PM
Plus--and now, many people will disagree with me on this--but I personally think that MOST men that come into strip clubs come in to see, feel, grab and rub against female bodies. They DON'T come in looking for some girl to talk to them for hours, or some chick to play mind games with them, because they could go to a bar and find that. Hell, most of their wives or girlfriends fuck with them in the head and flirt then don't put out and that's why they come to strip clubs IN THE FIRST PLACE. Men come in to touch and feel and be sexual with women, because they can't get that anywhere else, and when you allow them to really do that, i.e. TOUCH you, they will spend more and they will come back more often. I may be wrong on this but since women manipulate and play mind games with men ALL THE TIME in real life, I just think that the LAST THING men want when they come into a strip club is to have to go through that YET AGAIN. They just want straightforward, no nonsense, female nudity and female sexuality.
Now maybe I'm wrong about this, but I feel like it's true, and for me, out of all the years I've been dancing, I've seen this hold true MORESO than the myth that men come in for companionship. I mean, yeah, some do, and some genuinely just want a girl to be interested in them, and some just want to "talk" but those are NOT the typical dudes that come in.
I agree. There are so many times where I have met a guy who is really angry because some girl talked him into vip and all she did was talk and or give some crappy no contact dances. There are very few guys who will spend $600 for one hour in the vip for conversation and light contact dancing with no grinding at all. In my experience when girls pull that crap the guy tells all his friends that vip is a rip off and then no one can get them to go back.
I am trying to have a good attitude and not be afraid of going to work now that vice is cracking down on dancing but in my experience light contact does not fly in Vegas.
XAnastasiaX
01-24-2010, 04:39 PM
Big spenders don't want a dirty dance TRUST me on this one. A girl who gives you a sensual strip tease is always someone you come back to.
Be an entertainer not just someone dancing with her top off or nude!
loren
01-25-2010, 02:49 PM
I don't understand how I'm going to get a guy to do vip off of airdancing. I don't understand how I'm supposed to get a guy to get more than one dance on the floor. Yesterday I only made $90. Most people I know aren't able to make $$ now because of this airdance crap. The only reason I even made that much is because yesterday a guy niavely went with me into vip and obviously did not know that all I could do was airdances. If I could have done real dancing I know I could have upsold him to a half an hour. That's what I always used to be able to do. I'm completely lost on how to make $$ now. Does anyone have any advice?
KS_Stevia
01-25-2010, 03:33 PM
The only way to keep guys spending money on low-contact dances is enforcement from all the clubs in the area, including the management and bouncers enforcing rules.
Look at Atlanta and Portland. Low-contact is enforced (in most of the clubs), and the male custies are trained to behave. Conversely, strippers are punished for breaking rules and allowing serious levels of contact, especially out in the open.
OTC does happen, it happens everywhere. But its not up to strippers to self-monitor contact. Its up to the clubs to keep it clean. That way, they don't get busted, lose their liquor licenses, or have to payoff the police.
Not sure if that's even feasible in the US in the near future, aside from cities where its already the norm.
Harleigh HellKat
01-25-2010, 03:51 PM
I am ok with some contact... in other words touch my kitty and DIE lol. But for enough money I don't mind some touching. My club has a 3 tier contact/price dances... floor dances are strictly air, nothing else. VIP is light grinding and no contact on the custies end, at least one foot has to be on the floor. In the fantasy room it's anything but touching the kitty/anoos and no touching of the custies weiner.
I like to use grinding as a tool for tease/denial... Grind for a few seconds then stand up and show them a full body view. But I will not grind for less than I think it's worth per song.
I am so gonna use the shoulder rub!!!
Athenathefabulous
01-29-2010, 02:47 AM
I find that actually the higher spending clients don't want a lot of contact. A girl who gives a sexy strip tease will always have more regulars than a girl who dances slutty and gives the guy whatever he wants. Remember men biologically are programmed to want what they feel they have to work for and can't have.
i have to disagree with you for one reason, IME, a lot of the best spending customers are the cuddlers. cuddling is not really a dance per say, but it is contact, and it is in demand.
Otoki
02-01-2010, 02:06 AM
i have to disagree with you for one reason, IME, a lot of the best spending customers are the cuddlers. cuddling is not really a dance per say, but it is contact, and it is in demand.
Oh definitely, but I'm pretty sure she's just talking contact during dances.
I'm very anti-contact, but I love cuddly custies (as long as they aren't trying to feel you up). Sitting there hugging someone is easy money, and they just want the physical comfort of another human being. It's different from the dudes who want contact during dances:)
Case in point: Saturday I had five hours with a customer. He mostly wanted to cuddle, and then do a few dances.
XAnastasiaX
02-02-2010, 03:03 AM
Yes I was speaking of the guys who try to touch your crotch, butt, boobs etc. I was actually at a club last night where the GIRLS/DANCERS were the ones encouraging the touching not the clients. It was unpleasant to me
wanderlust08
02-02-2010, 10:08 PM
i don't mind grinding and all that, but if a guy touches my boobs it's over. my nips are overly sensitive to the point of pain if a guy messes with them. i hate it! ugh.
mediocrity
02-03-2010, 02:40 AM
i don't mind grinding and all that, but if a guy touches my boobs it's over. my nips are overly sensitive to the point of pain if a guy messes with them. i hate it! ugh.
I agree but it's because nipple touching disgusts me. You touch my tits- game over.
Athenathefabulous
02-03-2010, 02:54 AM
Yes I was speaking of the guys who try to touch your crotch, butt, boobs etc. I was actually at a club last night where the GIRLS/DANCERS were the ones encouraging the touching not the clients. It was unpleasant to me
ok fair enough. i guess i find that often the cuddlers are also handsy during the dances. but they are different than the guys who go for the crotch, but and boobs... they are indescriminate with their hands.... i find they often try to hug me during the dance.... i think they just need human contact. usually at this point it becomes obvious that they are a cuddler and will shell out money for cuddling in a more intimate champagne room setting.
and i understand the fucked up ness of the dancers encouraging touching. ive mentioned it a few times on this board before , but ill recap again-- over the summer i went as a customer to cabaret royale in dallas a couple of times... the girl i got a dance from like physiclally took my hands and had me grope her boobs. i also found this unpleasant, even though i LOOOOVE boobs (and she had a nice set).... but i guess since i am a dancer i was bothered that this type of contact was being encouraged ON THE FLOOR. sheesh. why work harder for your money?
loren
02-03-2010, 11:05 PM
I just heard a great saying. If a guy trys to grab your crotch say "You are not allowed to be a cookie monster"
rubyredlipsss
02-03-2010, 11:14 PM
i work in socal so its high contact so i guess im kinda immune to high contact...but my cookie and boobs are off limits (though if/when it happens it doesn't bother me too much i just move their hands and most custies are respectful of when i tell them it's against club rules) and otc i'm super protective of myself...like if a guy grabs my ass i'm ready to beat his ass whereas in the club i'll just act all cutesy and get the bouncer. i actually have a hard time going to regular clubs now after working in the sc's. but i do grind but not the whole time, i do a combination of teasing and grinding and pretty much use the outside of my thigh and ass to grind.
rubyredlipsss
02-03-2010, 11:39 PM
i work in socal so its high contact so i guess im kinda immune to high contact...but my cookie and boobs are off limits (though if/when it happens it doesn't bother me too much i just move their hands and most custies are respectful of when i tell them it's against club rules) and otc i'm super protective of myself...like if a guy grabs my ass i'm ready to beat his ass whereas in the club i'll just act all cutesy and get the bouncer. i actually have a hard time going to regular clubs now after working in the sc's. but i do grind but not the whole time, i do a combination of teasing and grinding and pretty much use the outside of my thigh and ass to grind.
Otoki
02-08-2010, 09:04 AM
Yes I was speaking of the guys who try to touch your crotch, butt, boobs etc. I was actually at a club last night where the GIRLS/DANCERS were the ones encouraging the touching not the clients. It was unpleasant to me
I saw that ON STAGE in the Hustler club in STL. Really depressing. Really, ladies? It's a fucking dollar. Just do some fucking pole tricks for your money.
I just don't see why they feel the need to GET a customer to touch if they're not already. You're making your money anyway. If you're cool with contact, and a customer asks, tell them what they can do, but if a customer isn't trying to touch, they're probably OK with paying for dances where contact isn't needed. They may even be used to that. I had a couple friends from MN get dances in Houston (dudes) and they found it really depressing. They're used to not touching, and they've done a little touching in other states before, but they were shocked at what the dancers were MAKING them do with their hands. They're perfectly happy with low contact/no touching.
It's just a different LD culture, I guess.
Victoria669Jones
02-08-2010, 10:03 AM
Otoki I saw it at the Hustler club in STL, to. Also in Roxy's. Those are the only two strip clubs I'd been to in STL (as a customer), so I left thinking it was standard practice in STL.
Otoki
03-04-2010, 08:40 PM
Otoki I saw it at the Hustler club in STL, to. Also in Roxy's. Those are the only two strip clubs I'd been to in STL (as a customer), so I left thinking it was standard practice in STL.
That's the impression I had as well, from my friend who danced in STL. I did the audition there, so no one was allowed to touch the auditions, but when they said I was welcome to work there I laughed on the inside. Yeah...not for me.
OJenni!
03-04-2010, 09:09 PM
Like many of you, I have worked a variety of clubs, up to and including high-contact ones. For a variety of reasons, iI personally prefer no or low-contact clubs,whenever and wherever possible. How do you feel about contact dancing? Do you simply dislike it and tolerate it, or do you actually prefer it?
In my opinion, contact dancing always leaves me with a bad after-taste: This ranges from slight annoyance to outright disgust and humiliation on the worst nights. However, I realize that other girls are desensitized or simply unfazed...How do YOU feel, and what are your limits? I'm not being judgemental; I'm simply curious :D
Personally I like the $10 table dance clubs. Less drama, less stakes, less hassle.
Athenathefabulous
03-05-2010, 03:29 AM
Personally I like the $10 table dance clubs. Less drama, less stakes, less hassle.
i was totally a fan of 10$ dance clubs when i was a newbie. But after I got more skillz i realized that selling 20$ dances was really no harder than selling 10$ dances. And they also add up twice as fast and give you more time to sell more dances :).
Now, the more expensive the dance, the better... selling 30 and 40$ dances is not a problem for me. once you realize how easy they are, the 'stakes' become much less intimidating and you realize when you properly hustle a customer, the price of the dance is not much of an issue... you might lose one or two dances, but the fact that the dances you do sell add up so much faster than 10$ dances more than makes up for the one or two dances lost on the cheapos.
Same issue with CRs... when i was a newb i almost didnt liek them... i couldnt sell them and it was more business descisions i had to make, as in should i focus selling dances which i know i can sell or should i try to sell a CR and likely fail. Once i realized i could sell them, the CRs because my friend. Until i went to P-burgh with cheap CRs and asshole customers but im trying to forget and repress that part of my life. Then I went to NOLA with the really overpriced CRs and after i sold my first really expensive CR, the stakes stopped intimidating me and i started selling a lot more. its getting past the mental block that makes the difference.
Now i am in 20$ lapdance land.... I miss the CRs and im going on a working trip next week to sell some.
So yea... the point of this ramble is dont be intimidated by 'stakes' or what not. You are worth all that and more.
** ETA: also im not calling you a newb, because i just read my post and realized it could sound condescending. I just dont feel like more expensive dances really guarantee higher contact. And i believe that many strippers, veterans included, do have a mental block where they are intimidated by the prices of what they sell. it was a problem for me for quite a while.
rubyredlipsss
03-05-2010, 02:11 PM
^i'm trying to learn how to sell our cr's, it's already really high contact and we now offer a nude option and i used to only do bikini ld's and now do topless...i have no problem selling the vip area dances but i rarely try to sell our cr's mostly because i'm a little scared...i was talking to another dancer about this and she had the same feeling. maybe it's something about la or something i just need to get over. but also, it's just our cut of the cr makes it seem not worth it when i can do the same amount of dances and get a better cut and in some cases, actually do more dances in the vip area and make more money than the 30 minute cr...however, it's hard to do. maybe it's the types of clubs i've worked in that makes me feel more comfortable hustling that way.
Otoki
03-08-2010, 08:16 AM
^i'm trying to learn how to sell our cr's, it's already really high contact and we now offer a nude option and i used to only do bikini ld's and now do topless...i have no problem selling the vip area dances but i rarely try to sell our cr's mostly because i'm a little scared...i was talking to another dancer about this and she had the same feeling. maybe it's something about la or something i just need to get over. but also, it's just our cut of the cr makes it seem not worth it when i can do the same amount of dances and get a better cut and in some cases, actually do more dances in the vip area and make more money than the 30 minute cr...however, it's hard to do. maybe it's the types of clubs i've worked in that makes me feel more comfortable hustling that way.
Hey, if the money makes it not worth it to you, combined with being uncomfortable with the expected behavior in the CR's, don't do it. You can always make money tomorrow, but you don't want to traumatize yourself by doing something that makes you unhappy or severely uncomfortable.
rubyredlipsss
03-08-2010, 09:54 AM
yeah, with the way la is no matter how much i try to hustle around the 'extra' questions, i can't seem hustle them into one, they want to hear they'll be getting extras of some sort. boob touching is expected in a regular dance along with grinding, though i'd probably be considered very prudish in my dances compared to other girls, but i make more money than they do so i guess i'm getting the last laugh. my club is retarded, for 30 minutes i would make 250...i can make the same amount in 15 minutes...and they wonder why the girls don't sell more cr's.
but i feel like there's a catch 22, a guy that's willing to spend 500/600 on the cr has money and may tip very well and is a sc reg. if/when i sell one i'm not going past my boundaries and have no problem cutting it short if they misbehave, the bouncers and managers are very supportive of the dancers and they pay upfront for the cr's.
charlie61
03-08-2010, 02:21 PM
^ My club has a similar CR: we make less money off of the CR than we would selling 10 dances, so most of us just sell the CR as 10 dances and comp the alcohol ourselves.
Otoki
03-09-2010, 09:33 PM
yeah, with the way la is no matter how much i try to hustle around the 'extra' questions, i can't seem hustle them into one, they want to hear they'll be getting extras of some sort. boob touching is expected in a regular dance along with grinding, though i'd probably be considered very prudish in my dances compared to other girls, but i make more money than they do so i guess i'm getting the last laugh. my club is retarded, for 30 minutes i would make 250...i can make the same amount in 15 minutes...and they wonder why the girls don't sell more cr's.
but i feel like there's a catch 22, a guy that's willing to spend 500/600 on the cr has money and may tip very well and is a sc reg. if/when i sell one i'm not going past my boundaries and have no problem cutting it short if they misbehave, the bouncers and managers are very supportive of the dancers and they pay upfront for the cr's.
While I understand that it doesn't make sense at first glance to make less in 30 min than you COULD in 15 min, the benefit of that CR is twofold:
First, it's a guaranteed sum, rather than hoping after one dance that the customer will get another. Think of all the time you waste hustling a dance, getting back there, doing one dance, and then going back out of the floor. A solid 250 for 30 min is great.
Secondly, it's 250 fucking dollars for 30 fucking minutes. That's a lot of money. Unless the room is so busy you're hopping from customer to customer seamlessly, 250 is excellent.
In addition, it's 250 you didn't have before.
rubyredlipsss
03-09-2010, 09:47 PM
when i talk about making the same in 15 minutes, i don't mean doing one dance and going back out on the floor and getting another...if a guy is undecided between the 30 minutes cr and the regular vip then i sell the vip, which is always in a set of 3, as a set of 6 or 9 before going in. i dunno, i find it easier to hustle guys into the vip area and keep them back there for a longer time and i get a better cut. i should just do both but like i said i haven't been able to get a guy in cr yet. my goal is to get one this week.