View Full Version : Are Guys Discouraged with Clubs ?
All Good Things
02-12-2005, 11:41 AM
I have my own opinion on this, but I saw a short summary by Up2Late elsewhere in the thread that I really admired. Here it is:
What keeps me going to clubs is primarily the social interaction, funny and interesting conversations that I'd never have otherwise, and being made to feel briefly that I'm someone very important and special to the other person. Even knowing it's not "real," it's like seeing a great summer blockbuster. You're taken out of your head & transported to a different world. When it works, the money you paid is immaterial because the experience is irreplaceable.
LilSweetVixen
02-12-2005, 11:42 AM
Joe Lunchbucket Jr. is just too desensitized to naked women. Porn is free and everywhere now. Stripteases don't work on people who are totally dulled, don't feel any sense of breaking a taboo or any sense of excitement about the unveiling. Older men used to go wild over the sight of a little leg at the burlesque places because it wasn't all over the place for free, that's why they patronize these environments. These young college guys are willing to buy you $18 in drinks but not get a lap dance, in the hopes of getting you drunk enough to go home with them. They want to "spoil you outside of here" or "get to know you outside of here", but you know what that means. They try to talk you into sex or else it's curtains.
Casual Observer
02-12-2005, 11:43 AM
I've thought about this lately and I've come to realize that I began going to SCs specifically when I was not looking for a relationship. I thought of it as a "relationship-free zone." It hasn't worked out that way because life is more complicated than that. But that is a different thread.
Amen.
<S> TOO
LilSweetVixen
02-12-2005, 11:44 AM
good quote.
mark45y
02-12-2005, 12:14 PM
Taxi dances. Used to be everywhere. The drill at first was a dime a dance I think it appealed to servicemen during WWII or before. During the 50’s they got sleazy and the girls would back the guys into a corner and grind them. The grinding evolved into FS and most of them were closed down.
LSV makes a good point and I think the same thing is happening with SC’s.
We are in the grind phase now and soon it will be converted to FS and then out of business.
I think there is an alternative somewhere between Hooters and a nude juice bar.
Futurespeak mode on. Table dances will evolve into floor dances and the taxi dance thing will start all over again.
I took my daughters to a lot of teen dances and waited outside to pick them up. My youngest is a kickboxing instructor and has been doing it since she was 8 years old.
The older one has competed in martial arts at a college and Olympic level and started when she was about 10. They are only a couple of years apart in age. When they were 16 and 18 I drove them to one particular club close to where we live. At the club were a number of young males who had come from a South American country and were not completely adapted to American or at least South Florida cultural standards. They were inclined to put their hands in the girl’s shorts or slacks while they were dancing with them at the teen dance. While I was waiting in the parking lot I noticed groups of the un en cultureated young men leaving the club carrying one or more of their group who were unable to walk on their own. I became concerned, thinking that there was booze or drugs in the club. I walked to the door and inquired of the bouncer/mgr. (he was a big Jamaican and seemed like a nice guy) what was going on. He told me "boss, ders a sister act in der dat don like to be grabbed, and damn dey means it. Dey cold cocked the first tree and four and - five dey played wit a little fore dey decked em. I’d stop it but dey don seem to be in much danger and the other girls are clapping so loud every time one of da boys hits de floor I can’t seem to yell loud enough to gets der attention."
The moral to this story is young guys seem to want to play with strangers while they are dancing with them in a standing up position. I am not advocating stand up extras but suggesting maybe the wave of the future to appeal to young men would be a stand up table dance.
Young men don’t seem to realize that any kind of dancing is great even if they are no good at it. So instead of telling them how wonderful their little things are the strippers could tell them how well they danced for the 10 or 20 dollar tips and the young guys could feel they had a date for a while.
phillydj
02-12-2005, 06:13 PM
A question and I guess a statement PhillyDJ.
I am not advocating playing D&B at SC’s.
I am saying with the technology as it is now, remix the tunes you are playing with some emphasis on drum and base mixes.
The D&B parts are what the girls dance to most effectively.
Mix three or two song sets and burn them to CD’s so each girl has a few CD’s of her own to choose from and can set a mood when dancing rather than just go from one song to another with out any consistency.
I have never heard a DJ in a SC do any creative mixing. Maybe it is just this area (FL) and the rest of the world is on track.
To be honest the times I do mix tends to distract the girls ("is this the same song??? Ive only done one) or throw of the guys in the couch dance room trying to keep track of dances via the girls songs ( no matter how clear I announce them, it still throws them off). Also alot of girls dont LIKE the remixes. Sometimes they do and sometimes they dont. In all honesty a SC isnt the type of "constant mix" clubs, there tends to be a varity of customers so there needs to be a varity of music. Ive seen alot of club djs come into this biz and get eaten alive. Im sorry if I snaped at you but , I cant speak but for one other DJ on here (sorry guys, Ive never heard you) but the whole "I dont know why girls tip you" thing was quite offensive as I do a good job of HELPING keep the money in the room. But besides that I must say you make some good points, especialy about VIP areas as one of my old clubs seems to have turend 2/3rds into VIP with no real room for the "avarage guy" and I think that its ruined what used to be the hot spot in Philly.
RedZ28
02-12-2005, 09:19 PM
The reason I continue to patronize my club is that there are a core group of dancers who do an excellent job of making everyone, regardless of how they are dressed or how they look like, feel like a valued customer. From what I've been told from a few members on here, $150 for a 30 minute VIP is pretty reasonable and considering the overall attractiveness and stellar personality of the majority of dancers that work here. The only reason I would stop going is that I have had enough fantasies more or less fulfilled. There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.
deepbubbles
02-13-2005, 11:33 AM
I guess so. For anyway, unless the dancer looks like she's having a good time, or is a VERY good dancer....the thrill is gone ( feel free to start singing b.b. king along with me).
For me attitude/spirit has always been the most important thing.
The_Oceans
02-13-2005, 12:09 PM
deepbubbles, actually the first song that came to mind was The Eagles' After The Thrill Is Gone:
Same dances in the same old shoes
You get too careful with the steps you choose
You don't care about winning but you don't wanna lose
After the thrill is gone
Not that this is how I feel about clubs...far from it...
Dave in Phoenix
02-13-2005, 03:15 PM
Wow, this old thread got reactivated with the same enthusiasm is in 2004 when the thread started.
A major issue to me is the law changes over the years imposed by the religious right groups to make strippers nothing but sex objects to quack at vs much meaningful interaction that some of us old guys seek, not just another naked body we can see anywhere and is no big deal.
To me and I know many others, we enjoy good touch (nonsexual) physical intimacy with an attractive women that we know we aren't likely going to have in "real" life. For example I love to give a nice back massage, and nice breast massage that most women very much enjoy vs the usual grabbing and groping. More and more guys are starting to enjoy this also which many dancers appreciate. We aren't interest in fantasy, or being turned on with no "relief". But for some good intimate non-sexual touch is just as good or better than raw sex.
I know that over the years more and more men are learning to enjoy non sexual physical intimacy. Ten years ago when I discussed my interests and experiences on various boards, I was often attacked as a sissy. The idea of many was real men want to screw not just silly good touch intimacy. But now the situation is very different. Haven't had this sissy reaction for years and more and more guys are finding out they enjoy the non-sexual physical intimacy options. I've even taught some guys with their dancer girlfriends Esalen massage which is a wonderful caring, sensual but non sexual massage technique the cares for the person as a person, via touch, as well as a physical body.
Strip clubs in some cities (such as Phoenix) use to be wonderful for this type of interaction. I had many wonderful experiences over the years until the new non touch laws. Then most of the dancers I knew left the business since they enjoyed good touch interaction with guys and didn't want to be just a sex object on stage or limited contact laps.
The new laws in the U.S. started in Phoenix by a religious right group whose goal is to help 1000 cities across America pass anti adult interaction laws with the excuse somehow this protects neighborhoods and children - how sill y - and are behind most of the new restrictions in many cities in the U.S.}:D
Therefore, I now spend a lot of time in Canada where full contact nude laps are 100% legal per the Canadian Supreme Court as long as no "penetration". There are various local licensing bylaws that restrict in some cities but I discuss extensive my great experiences that many men follow and say they appreciate on sexworktoronto.com and via sexworkniagarafalls.com San Francisco is one of the few major city left in the U.S. with less restrictive laws or non enforcement.
Someone mentioned the taxi dancers. There are still a few of those clubs now called hostess clubs in Los Angeles. I have extensive reviews on them on sexwork.com but haven't updated for a number of years.
However, the ongoing problem at both taxi/hostess clubs and the strip clubs in Canada are that some guys want to spoil it for us that want to enjoy non sexual intimacy. Some guys insist on trying to get more and more which spoils it for us that know the difference between a wonderful nude full contact lap dance experience vs an escort. In Canada and most of the rest of the world except the U.S., there is no excuse since at least outcall prostitution is totally legal and vary reasonably priced.
In Canada I spend less than $US200 for hour of full service sex ;)with a beautiful intelligent women that enjoys it as a legitimate career that benefits a culture by providing a safe outlet for sexual satisfaction and variety. For sex it is easy to go to a great outcall provider. I preach you shouldn't spoil the strip club legal situation by seeking more at a strip club. At some clubs the dancers however are very aggressive wanting to give you oral sex or more. But I never have and such action puts the club at risk (incall bawdy house potential violation if penetration including oral). I tell guys in Canada they are so lucky to have what is available vs. the U.S., and not to go beyond what is legal at a strip club.
Based on decades of enjoying women from around the world it is also clear that American women are usually quite unique in their attitudes. Many have no interest in other than being a sex object with the attitude that they only share intimacy with their boyfriends/husbands. This is understandable raised in a sex negative culture, other than for tease and selling products which equates love with possessiveness and jealousy.
But many foreign women are wonderfully more interested in the type of non-sexual intimacy8)I enjoy in the strip clubs in some cities in Canada. Obviously there are exceptions to this generality but I'm amazed how true it is since I meet women of so many nationalities in Canada.