View Full Version : Do Nice Guys Finish Last?
asian_slacker
08-06-2004, 01:40 AM
So true Asian, but remember the bad guys will be reincarnated as a dung beetle in the next life! While the nice guy will be a hero.
Kitana
I hope for the sakes of those "good people" that there is an after life. This will reward them and punish the bad guys who have gotten away with murder(literally and or figuratively speaking) and are reaping the benefits without suffering any horrendous consequences.
asian_slacker
08-06-2004, 01:45 AM
So what do nice guys have to do, then?
Look, i consider myself a nice guy. I'm not perfect, but i respect women. Hell i get along with women ten times more than i get along with guys. I can be one charming mofo when i want to be, i've had some HOT girlfriends. So i'm not terribly in need of advice, but there are some here that might need it (lestat1, for instance, though he threatened a friend of mine with finding her IP and thus where she was so i'm not sure how 'nice' he is).
Lets think constructively, we can all benefit from it.
There is no good way. "Nice" guys just have to beat the odds. Nice guys have to find a loop hole which is unique for them to sneak through.
Naturally nice guys are at a disadvantage compared to "bad" boys.
Can a fat ugly girl get a wealthy intelligent hot guy? Maybe, but she will sure have to beat the odds and fight off all the hotties who are after that same guy.
kitana
08-06-2004, 01:45 AM
Well, be the best of both worlds. The reason we gravitate to bad guys is that they hold a certain air of mystery about them. Pretend that dating is kinda like poker, never show your hand too early, have a good poker face, and always leave them guessing. Women want excitement and stability both. We want a man that will sweep us off our feet and put us back down in a 3 bedroom house on 2 acre in the good part of town with parquet floors and jenn aire appliances. We waht a man who has that car that will go 210mph, but will only get it that fast if we are on the free way at 3 am on the way to the ER 'caue we are in labor. We want yin and yang. We women are feminine and masculine both and we want our men to be that way too, but not to girlie feminine. Just enought to understand why we cry when Bambi's mom gets shot. But man enough to say "Hun, don't worry about that spider, I will kill it for you!" We want you to excite us, to be our best friend, our protector, our lover, and most of all our friend.
Mad, does that clear things up any?
Kitana
asian_slacker
08-06-2004, 01:51 AM
Well, be the best of both worlds. The reason we gravitate to bad guys is that they hold a certain air of mystery about them. Pretend that dating is kinda like poker, never show your hand too early, have a good poker face, and always leave them guessing. Women want excitement and stability both. We want a man that will sweep us off our feet and put us back down in a 3 bedroom house on 2 acre in the good part of town with parquet floors and jenn aire appliances. We waht a man who has that car that will go 210mph, but will only get it that fast if we are on the free way at 3 am on the way to the ER 'caue we are in labor. We want yin and yang. We women are feminine and masculine both and we want our men to be that way too, but not to girlie feminine. Just enought to understand why we cry when Bambi's mom gets shot. But man enough to say "Hun, don't worry about that spider, I will kill it for you!" We want you to excite us, to be our best friend, our protector, our lover, and most of all our friend.
Mad, does that clear things up any?
Kitana
Kitana, I guess we all can dream. What's a world without dreams?
This is what I want in a woman. A hottie who loves me for me and works her butt off to support me and shower me with gifts of luxury. ;)
I guess a guy can have dreams also. :D
kitana
08-06-2004, 01:59 AM
Yeah Asian, you can but luckily I have my dream, it came true and he's in bed right now one room away. And it's really not that much to ask for honestly.
The one piece of advice my Mom gave me about men and dating and marriage was this;
"Men want a Lady in public and a Hellcat in the bed."
I found out she was soooooooooo right!!! So whats wrong with us women wanting something similar too?
"Women want a bad boy in public and a sweetie pie at home" ~ Kitana
asian_slacker
08-06-2004, 02:05 AM
Yeah Asian, you can but luckily I have my dream, it came true and he's in bed right now one room away. And it's really not that much to ask for honestly.
You must be a total babe with a great personality to land your dream boat already. ;D
kitana
08-06-2004, 02:14 AM
Aww thanks that's sweet, but it took me a few wrong choices to find the right one, and I'm not that young anymore. I know my avatar pic is kinda small but surely you can still see all the wrinkles!
Madcap
08-06-2004, 02:14 AM
Mad, does that clear things up any?
No such thing as "clear," we all live in a morass of a world. What works for you will not work for another girl. Myself, what i have found that works for me is being a fucking gremlin. Mischievous is apparently a panty wetting word.
Never let her know what you are going to do next.
EDIT: I have found that nine times out of ten, if you can make a girl laugh you are 33% in there. The rest is up to you. But if you make her smile and laugh, she likes you.
nychaos99
08-06-2004, 07:06 AM
Nice guys suck. So do A-holes. A girl doesn't want an extreme of anything- hence, 'sweet and sour sauce': not too sweet, not too sour. A girl doesn't want to be with a guys she feels she can kick his ass (a door mat so to say) and a girl doen't want to be with a guy that's a pig either (Sixteen Candles- remember the fiance? What a dick).
Oh, one more kinda important detail- you guys need to be someone attractive and have some 'game'. So, I guess that weeds through almost every human male species on the planet. I mean, if it's not a hairy chest, it's a hairy back/ears/neck- a freakin' gorilla in some relation. Then there's the dreaded 'I have bad taste in clothing and my mom still dresses me' syndrome. Or, mommy is on speed-dial. Or, 'I still live with my mommy, what's wrong with that' syndrome. Or, what about bad teeth? Barf.
You know, now that I think of it, all men suck. Even the gay ones.....
Oh well, back to the trusty vibrator.
onlythebest
08-06-2004, 07:08 AM
'sweet and sour sauce': not too sweet, not too sour.
I'm Chinese,so I can DEFINATELY relate to that!
By the way,that was very clever and cute!!!
lestat1
08-12-2004, 06:08 PM
So i'm not terribly in need of advice, but there are some here that might need it (lestat1, for instance, though he threatened a friend of mine with finding her IP and thus where she was so i'm not sure how 'nice' he is).
Lets think constructively, we can all benefit from it.
I did what? Huh? ???
Anyway to answer the rhetorical/actual question: it simply takes confidence. Which unfortunately usually comes through positive experiences, which are difficult to come by without having the confidence in the first place (a prefectly nasty little catch-22). The nice guys just have to bite the bullet and suffer through the painful part and hope enough good happens to keep the going and slowly build the much needed confidence. So I'd have to agree with several people and summarize as: "get off your ass and do it!"
I'm not alone because I'm "too nice." What kind of bullshit would that be? I don't have the fortitude, self-esteem, or confidence to be willing to try, simple as that. I end up acting like a desperate needy guy who could only possibly attract and equally desperate nut-case of a woman. No one's fault but my own. Maybe someday I'll develop the much-needed skills by getting off my ass and past my fears, maybe I'll be this way forever and live my years wallowing in misery. That's life.
-lestat1
montythegeek
08-12-2004, 06:13 PM
I think most women believe guys who finish last are nice.
twntrbo7
08-12-2004, 06:43 PM
Seriously, I've always been the nice guy....but the test of time has proven to be an interesting one. In HS, I was the nice guy that every girl wanted to have...as a friend. Mike will listen...Mike won't judge...Mike also won't get laid. I have never employed a "strategy" but I have noticed that typically (not always) the nice guys are difficult to locate because part of being the nice guy means that we are also not able to openly hit on anyone very well. We will look at the homecoming queen and think "why bother?" But over the course of time, something interesting has happened. I've hit mid-30's and it seems that I am somehow more appealing to a relatively large number of people. Is this how long it takes for someone to decide that a nice guy is there and perhaps something that is desireable?
This is pretty accurate for me too....so i only have to wait 10 more years to start getting laid? AWESOME :-\
We as nice guys will always finish last....its in our nature b/c we put others in front of us.
Not that im good looking...but im not horrible....and ive seen many more horrible looking guys who are assholes pull a lot more girls than me....and attractive girls at that. And its obvious these guys are assholes and are using these girls, but for some reasn the girls seem to be attracted to it.
I dont know....nor do I really care that much. I dont go out looking to pick up girls anymore....b/c i know it just wont happen(thats why I let Trix do the work ;) ) and its just not my thing anyway. I just go out to have fun with friends ;D
i feel ya on that. im the same way... i just dont care anymore. live my life and be who i am.
btw im new to the forum ;D
twntrbo7
08-12-2004, 06:44 PM
nice to see that there are women who still appreciate nice guys and gentlemen. thats how i am...
mxgirl
08-12-2004, 07:44 PM
I didn't read all these replies, but had to comment.....
My very first boyfriend was a nice guy......too nice.....we dated for 4 years, and i broke up with him because I was bored and there was a whole world of guys out there to meet!
I dated a-holes after that....just always liked them, wasn't experienced enough to sniff them out until it was too late....I even married one!
9 years of being with an a-hole made me appreciate the true "nice" guy....nice guys don't have to be pushovers, or boring....they just need to respect you. I was SO attracted to my (now) boyfriend because of the way he treated me before we were ever together.....he treated me like a queen.....was so sweet....quiet, and sweet......he made me feel like I was important.....and he's a cutie, so that definately helped!
So.....I am one of the lucky few who got a second chance with someone who is truly a sweetheart, truly loves me as much as i love him....and is just an all around, very good guy. The type of guy Karma treats very well....... ;)
Nice guys don't finish last.......not at all!
Pei Mei
08-12-2004, 08:44 PM
Nice guys gets the left overs..... ;D
polecat
08-12-2004, 09:04 PM
Nice guys gets the left overs..... ;D
Absolutely.. It's not considered sloppy seconds.. it's really considered the main event after the dress rehearsal. :D
Pei Mei
08-12-2004, 09:16 PM
Nice guys gets the left overs..... ;D
Absolutely.. It's not considered sloppy seconds.. it's really considered the main event after the dress rehearsal. :D
Kind of like having left over cold pizza instead of fresh ones right out of the box? By the way, the jerks gets all the fresh pizza also. 8)
AinNY
08-12-2004, 09:18 PM
i dont like to refer to myself as a nice guy...
I prefer...loser, dork, geek, lonely bastard....anyone of those work well ;D
madmaxine
08-12-2004, 09:52 PM
Pei Mei, Mae West said it took a woman having to go through a couple bad guys for her to appreciate a good one. Sometimes men turn into jerks after they're with an a**hole woman. I dated a couple that were permanently damaged from women. It goes both ways.
Madcap
08-12-2004, 11:11 PM
I did what? Huh? ???
Honestly you were probably joking, but it's in poor taste to joke about that to a non-computer person. They tend to think Tech people are like wizards or something.
I wasn't there but i was told about it, by a person that wouldn't lie about something like that.
Occasionally, i come off a lot more assholistic online than i mean to be.
AinNY
08-13-2004, 05:36 AM
Pei Mei, Mae West said it took a woman having to go through a couple bad guys for her to appreciate a good one. Sometimes men turn into jerks after they're with an a**hole woman. I dated a couple that were permanently damaged from women. It goes both ways.
Yeah...i just(well a year ago) got out of a relationship with an asshole woman(we're great friends now...but shes still an asshole)....i was pretty fucked up for a while...but i never turned into a jerk :-\
erotictonic
08-13-2004, 06:57 AM
I think it really depends on how BIG of an asshole one is, and how long the person put up with that behavior as to how much damage there will be. I agree with Mae West totally.... nothing but nice guys for me from now on.
StevieSparkZ
08-13-2004, 11:07 AM
hey all i think i got here a bit late but what i learned is that a lot of people confuse things with a nice guy and perceive his kindness as a weakness......
so the nice guy is confused with the sissy :O
tragic-beauty
08-13-2004, 11:52 AM
I dont even waste my time looking at jerks / assholes.. most guys i meet seem to think that the bad boys get all the girls.... Ummm No... Ill take a nerdy glasses waring computer gamer over a badass anyday... My husband is the total nerd and i love it. with a little persistance.. comming last wont be an option
mxgirl
08-13-2004, 06:29 PM
I have always loved guys.....(unfortunately even some of the a-holes)
The way I see it, guys were once sweet, beautiful boys who loved their moms.....(I have a son and I'm his whole world)...they are so open and loving and giving when they are young......then, sometime, somewhere, he will meet HER......the one girl/woman that takes that heart and stomps it into the ground......pretty much destroying any of the little boy that's left. (I have never met a guy that isn't still a little in love with his first love - my case in point). So....what we are left with, as normal women looking for a great guy, is basically finding men with scars and distrust and a warped image of what a guy thinks love should be.
I want to tell my little man to run far and fast when he gets older and the girls start eyeing him....(he's a CUTIE).....he's too sweet to become what some 16 year old girl with a finicky heart decides to make of him!!
Deogol
08-13-2004, 09:37 PM
I have always loved guys.....(unfortunately even some of the a-holes)
The way I see it, guys were once sweet, beautiful boys who loved their moms.....(I have a son and I'm his whole world)...they are so open and loving and giving when they are young......then, sometime, somewhere, he will meet HER......the one girl/woman that takes that heart and stomps it into the ground......pretty much destroying any of the little boy that's left. (I have never met a guy that isn't still a little in love with his first love - my case in point). So....what we are left with, as normal women looking for a great guy, is basically finding men with scars and distrust and a warped image of what a guy thinks love should be.
I want to tell my little man to run far and fast when he gets older and the girls start eyeing him....(he's a CUTIE).....he's too sweet to become what some 16 year old girl with a finicky heart decides to make of him!!
I agree.
Somewhere where that girl who did the heart stomping got the idea she could do this. My first theory is a manipulative mother.
madmaxine
08-13-2004, 10:21 PM
Well mxgirl, I think that's the case a lot of times, but often some guys are just clueless. Or they were raised in a house with a bad abusive male role model, and think that is how they should treat women and people in general. I dated a guy who was a mama's boy but otherwise a straight up fricking jerk.
mxgirl
08-14-2004, 11:33 AM
Yep....yep....good point!!!
erotictonic
08-14-2004, 11:37 AM
Yea, that's only one theory. There are tons and tons of ways people get fucked up. One including genetics. If someone is a born sociopath, they were never anything but a cold-hearted fucker in the first place. Also, you're not factoring in the high risk of abuse by males for not fitting in, and high risk for continual molestation and abuse by one's siblings and/or parents.
Djoser
08-14-2004, 11:48 AM
If you want to go somewhere and see "nice guys" getting squashed like bugs, go to Daytona Beach. I have never in my extensive travels seen any city where the battle of the sexes was more vicious and destructive.
Being a gentleman or having manners is a definite handicap there. The women view such a man as some sort of strange and baffling creature, for the few seconds their attention is detained.
I had a lot less fun while I lived there than anywhere else I had ever been, until I started DJing--and even then I was still way too considerate to be as 'studly' as the average bouncer, DJ, or drug-dealing customer.
What they were getting was not worth playing the asshole to obtain.
erotictonic
08-14-2004, 11:54 AM
If you want to go somewhere and see "nice guys" getting squashed like bugs, go to Daytona Beach. I have never in my extensive travels seen any city where the battle of the sexes was more vicious and destructive.
Being a gentleman or having manners is a definite handicap there. The women view such a man as some sort of strange and baffling creature, for the few seconds their attention is detained.
I had a lot less fun while I lived there than anywhere else I had ever been, until I started DJing--and even then I was still way too considerate to be as 'studly' as the average bouncer, DJ, or drug-dealing customer.
What they were getting was not worth playing the asshole to obtain.
Yea, I know what you talkin' 'bout lol. The bigger of a jerk you are around here, the more the chicks will flock around you. Makes me wretch. Actually, I mainly laugh at them (to their face) because it's an act. And yes, any chick that falls for that shit aint worth the energy it took to get her.
madmaxine
08-14-2004, 02:05 PM
My favorite "Not really a Nice Guy" syndrome is in Northern California. I refuse to date when I'm home because men are very vain and demanding here. Also, it's about social status. The farming people aren't quite as bad, but the cliquishness is hard to fight.
My favorite men are from the Midwest. If I'm fortunate, I'll be raising kids in a split level on the Plains in about five years. With a minivan and a fat butt and too many pets.
lestat1
08-18-2004, 03:00 PM
Honestly you were probably joking, but it's in poor taste to joke about that to a non-computer person. They tend to think Tech people are like wizards or something.
I wasn't there but i was told about it, by a person that wouldn't lie about something like that.
Hmmm, I still can't decide if I'm insulted someone would think me so nefarious, or flattered that I made "the gossip circle." :thinking: