View Full Version : Don't Flame Me-I Need to Say It!
VenusGoddess
09-29-2004, 01:12 AM
...many of the threads I participated in dealt with situations with customers I assumed they wanted both views.
Also I don't wish to stay any where I might not be wanted.
Usually that comes in very handy...but sometimes, we just need to vent after a bad night. :D Kinda like your girl walking in the door from work and starting off, "Do you know what my f*cking boss did today?" We don't necessarily want your opinion...we just need to vent it out and then move on. :D
And, you are more than welcome here...but putting some thoughts into the responses (and knowing if they really belong there) go a long way. This is not to say that you have/have not done this...it would just be nice for ALL customers to think twice before doing that. That's all that we are trying to say. :D
Madcap
09-29-2004, 01:22 AM
And, you are more than welcome here...but putting some thoughts into the responses (and knowing if they really belong there) go a long way. This is not to say that you have/have not done this...it would just be nice for ALL customers to think twice before doing that. That's all that we are trying to say. :D
A few weeks ago, myself and a female poster hijacked a thread by starting a long, drawn out debate over what would happen if Batman and Captain America got into a fight, totally off topic (naturally) so i'm 100% guilty of this. But since then, i've kinda shied away from stripping general. Just not enough, apparently.
kitana
09-29-2004, 04:24 AM
LOL you are right about that Mad!
Anywho I aplaude Kat and Pryce and everyone else who is in favor of this. If I start a rant thread it's because my mgr/bartender is a dick and I just need to let it out. Not that I really want an opinion either way. I just want to bitch about it. (Exactly GV!)
Anyway good post Kat!
Kitana
erotictonic
09-29-2004, 07:26 AM
but as long as the response is cordial, is there something particularly wrong with responding to a rant critically, to merely to suggest they look at the issue at hand from a different perspective?
Of course there is.
Ever heard of the distinction between men complaining and women complaining? Women frequently like to vent just because they find the process itself to be cathartic in nature, whereas men are so solution-oriented and are always trying to fix situations where an actual rectification of the problem isn't what's actually being requested.
Same applies in a forum.
You would be correct on the point of some people needing to vent and others not needing this... but it is based on personality type and not gender. Some men need to vent just like some women do. Some women don't need to vent. And when they vent, they do not want a solution or an arguement, or someone else's perspective. This just makes it worse. They just want a shoulder to lean on, support, others to say they know how they feel.
Katrine
09-29-2004, 01:21 PM
Also, a highly esteemed male member of the site (NOT! ;) ) just reminded me of something:
We have a rants page!! Yup......
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/index.php/stripperweb/exoticdancers/test/t7979.html
Of course many rants are juicy enough for their own thread, but let's not forget about this function as well ladies!
Katrine
09-29-2004, 01:22 PM
Btw, I'm already seeing mucho improvement today!
Thanks boys1 ;)
VenusGoddess
09-29-2004, 01:29 PM
Kumbaya, Katrine, kumbaya...
:D
:grouphug:
DJ_WuLf
09-29-2004, 02:22 PM
Men and women are different (duh) ..... Guys can fight or drink or watch football to "VENT" thier frustrations. Women however are geneticly programmed to "bitch" (read that as COMPLAIN) and since female problems usually result from male actions, its only natural that they are going to attack the male input .....no matter how humorous, logical, or correct it may be. Once you guys learn this ....you're ready for marraige....... OR a job in a strip club.
Working in a strip club (for a male) is like being married to 50 women ..... none of whom you are sleeping with. You get blamed for all the indescretions of the male genre but you get none of the benefits.
As a Loooooong time member here I also admit that I find some of the "customer" comments ........ well ....... typical. OTOH ... I think this is why we created the LADIES ONLY Section.
erotictonic
09-29-2004, 02:51 PM
Men and women are different (duh) ..... Guys can fight or drink or watch football to "VENT" thier frustrations. Women however are geneticly programmed to "bitch" (read that as COMPLAIN) and since female problems usually result from male actions, its only natural that they are going to attack the male input .....no matter how humorous, logical, or correct it may be. Once you guys learn this ....you're ready for marraige....... OR a job in a strip club.
Working in a strip club (for a male) is like being married to 50 women ..... none of whom you are sleeping with. You get blamed for all the indescretions of the male genre but you get none of the benefits.
As a Loooooong time member here I also admit that I find some of the "customer" comments ........ well ....... typical. OTOH ... I think this is why we created the LADIES ONLY Section.
I find this to be some MAD stereotyping... I know several guys who hate watching sports, fighting, or drinking. I know some females who never bitch, or complain. How do you figure female problems result from male actions? I never vent about work when I dance (although I do complain if I don't make enough money or don't want to go - it's never a personal thing about what some guy did or something, as I have accepted some people are stupid assholes).... I don't even remember the comments or bad moments from work... it's not worth it. And I only "attack" things that I personally find illogical, or incorrect. I don't stereotype people based on gender. Too many people have proven me wrong. Like I said before, it has everything to do with personality type and less to do with gender. You take a sociopath female and put them with a feeling type, shy male, and it is going to be the total opposite of what you believe. I never blame anyone for anything until they prove to me they need to be blamed. It is an individual thing for me, I don't go by stereotypes because, like I said, too many times I have been proven wrong. I don't like people that assume I am someone I am not.
Wwanderer
09-29-2004, 03:31 PM
There is a possible, and probably only partial, technical solution: Most bulletin board software systems include a feature for restricted forums. This means a forum which does not even appear on the screens of members who are not in a specified category. Everyone else not only can't post there; they don't even see that it exists and of course can't read it either. If this board software allows that option, there could be a forum that only members who identify themselves as female can access at all.
Of course, guys can still lie when they register and try to assume a female identity...and some surely would. But even then they are pretty well stuck with either lurking or at least not "speaking" in their "real voices" as guys, etc.
-Ww
Madcap
09-30-2004, 01:56 AM
Since when are their such a thing as 'rights' in a strip club? The FACT is that once you walk into an establishment you GIVE UP YOUR RIGHTS.
It's a fact.
Try stepping into the local Denny's and giving up a KKK hate speech. They can stop you. Period. Throw you the fuck out. The first ammendment only goes so far. Try cussing loudly at your local restaraunt, then when they curb you try suing them... You will lose. Once you enter, you have the rights they give you. That's why the local circle-K (Or 7-11, or Quicktrip) can toss you for soliciting signatures for a petition.
You are in a private establishment. You have the rights you are given... Period.
I dunno where the fuck this tangent came from. But i agree with ET. MOAN about 'rights' all you want. You have none when in a place owned by someone else.
Off topic fluff i suppose, and maybe an example of what Katwoman was talking about, but i had to say it.
MojoJojo
09-30-2004, 02:07 AM
I really don't want to see this thread go in this direction. But since my name came up, I feel compelled;
1 - if I remember correctly, several posts from the thread that ET mentioned were deleted as they did not follow the initial post....so I really don't have anything that I can reference.
2 - please, ET...don't take my comments out of context and interpret them for the world...I made it very clear that I did not feel that shortchanging dancers was fair.
3 - I have made my apology to the board for overstepping any bounds and posting in an area where I apparently should not have, and have also apolgoized specifically to Kat.
GoldCoastGirl
09-30-2004, 03:48 AM
This thread was needed... now it is done. No more finger pointing.. or anything else is really needed. I think we all know where most of us stand in re: the stripping general and other "stripping" related boards.
I don't mind the customer comments - when they are sought... therefore Customer Conversation is where we ask those questions generally. There is another thread (a newer one in stripping general) which is also a good example of where the first three responses were totally fluff and not want the original poster requires (she needed to hear from dancers).
I'm not pointing fingers just giving another example that everyone should really THINK before they type. That's all. ;D
Djoser
09-30-2004, 09:12 AM
Keeping customer input limited to "Customer Conversation" and "The Lounge" would go a long way towards solving the problem.
We would still have the inevitable threads about "How do I ask out this stripper?", "Do you ever get excited while lapdancing?", and "Do you prefer dancing for guys with blonde hair or brown?". As I recall, this is not what Customer Conversation was created for, but to a large extent this is what it has become.
So be it--those of us who are repulsed by this drivel can stay out, those of us who are occasionally amused by it can get a laugh now and then.
And we will still get the mutual ass-kissing posts which have been proliferating, in which members can continue pumping up each others sexual egos to their hearts content--but they will be much more easily ignored by those who are getting a little tired of it, as well as threads like "What color is your favorite animal?"
I think the height of the "customer entitlement" wave was reached when we had several of them telling us that economic theory dictated that strippers should be giving them cheap BJs, or go get another job. This we can certainly do without seeing again.
doc-catfish
09-30-2004, 09:49 AM
Keeping customer input limited to "Customer Conversation" and "The Lounge" would go a long way towards solving the problem.
With respect to a lot of the customer comments Djoser, I agree. Now let me throw you a curve ball. Here's a link to a thread that I started and posted in SG.
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/index.php/stripperweb/stripping/exotic-dancer/t13701.html
Now, I'm not a dancer or someone who works in the industry, so I thought long and hard about whether I should put that thread in SG or CC. Why did I choose the former? Because sad to say, it looks better within the context of the other topics that are discussed on SG, rather than the semi-perverted milk and cookies threads that are asked on the CC board.
And I got a fair number of responses from both dancers and DJ's alike, so apparently some dancers/industry workers found value in it. Occasionally, I think we have to evaluate where a topic belongs based on the content of message, and not so much who the messenger is.
That point taken, I think a "Dancer Only" board, similar to the Ladies' Only board, would be an idea to consider.
We would still have the inevitable threads about "How do I ask out this stripper?", "Do you ever get excited while lapdancing?", and "Do you prefer dancing for guys with blonde hair or brown?". As I recall, this is not what Customer Conversation was created for, but to a large extent this is what it has become.
If I remember correctly, on the old forum boards, CC was created originally for dancers to talk about customers amongst themselves. It wasn't exactly taking off in its intended purpose and was being "infiltrated" by customer comments so to speak. When the forums were changed last December, Pryce just went with the flow and made it a place for customers to ask questions to dancers.
And we will still get the mutual ass-kissing posts which have been proliferating, in which members can continue pumping up each others sexual egos to their hearts content--but they will be much more easily ignored by those who are getting a little tired of it, as well as threads like "What color is your favorite animal?"
True. I would say the posts where we have guys fawning over dancers here are getting a bit tiresome, and don't belong in the Stripping discussions, but it doesn't help much when the gals encourage said behavior by respond in kind. Maybe we could deflate the problem by creating a "Am I Hot?" board.
;)
AinNY
09-30-2004, 10:15 AM
i think everyone just needs a hug ;D
cant we all just get along? :rotfl:
The point/s was/were made...lets drop it and move on...
onlythebest
09-30-2004, 10:19 AM
:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:
Bridgette
09-30-2004, 01:34 PM
Doc, obviously relevant customer input is still always wanted. It's the argumentative type stuff or fluff that isn't welcome.
As for the whole "entitled customer" crap, I'd absolutely LOVE to see the roles reversed on those guys for a while. No doubt they'd all go running crying back to mommie ::)
Pryce
09-30-2004, 02:43 PM
Post cleaned as VG had mentioned. Let not let this post about flames turn into a flame itself. :peace:
As for problems with moderators - I'm a click away.
DJ_WuLf
09-30-2004, 02:57 PM
Just my opinion here but ...... Guys *edited* are exihibiting typical PL behavior. They sympathize and agree and generally kiss ass to get attention in an environment where money doesn't buy attention.
Post count may indicate participation but at some point it becomes obnoxiously obvious why these guys are posting Soooooo much. I agree that they need to keep it to the generic areas of the site rather than Stripping Related (which I see as the OFFICE of this club) (Ladies only is the dressing room). Customers just aren't allowed in the Dressing Room or the Office.
erotictonic: You tend to disagree with any MALE poster in a written tone that can be percieved as confrontational. Now most of us know your general opinion of MEN as you have stated it many times. I personaly find your attitude refreshing and challanging in an intellectual manner BUT for those Males who just can't "Let it go" I understand where the Mods are comming from..... Mojo is sent to the corner and YOU got a note from the principal. Take it like an adult and learn that sometimes its best to walk away.
I was VERY good friends with a past MOD (Holly Day) and I know she burned out from all the "issues". I think we have a new crop of FANTASTIC Mods now and I believe we need to support them 100% (Even in Tampa). The MOD Job isn't as easy as it sounds.
DJ_WuLf
09-30-2004, 02:58 PM
Wow ...now my post makes almost NO Sense ..... I'm not insane ...really I'm not.
erotictonic
09-30-2004, 03:14 PM
Just my opinion here but ...... Guys like Mojo and AinNY (and several other GUYS who feel the need to reply to 12-16 threads per day) are exihibiting typical PL behavior. They sympathize and agree and generally kiss ass to get attention in an environment where money doesn't buy attention.
Post count may indicate participation but at some point it becomes obnoxiously obvious why these guys are posting Soooooo much. I agree that they need to keep it to the generic areas of the site rather than Stripping Related (which I see as the OFFICE of this club) (Ladies only is the dressing room). Customers just aren't allowed in the Dressing Room or the Office.
erotictonic: You tend to disagree with any MALE poster in a written tone that can be percieved as confrontational. Now most of us know your general opinion of MEN as you have stated it many times. I personaly find your attitude refreshing and challanging in an intellectual manner BUT for those Males who just can't "Let it go" I understand where the Mods are comming from..... Mojo is sent to the corner and YOU got a note from the principal. Take it like an adult and learn that sometimes its best to walk away.
I was VERY good friends with a past MOD (Holly Day) and I know she burned out from all the "issues". I think we have a new crop of FANTASTIC Mods now and I believe we need to support them 100% (Even in Tampa). The MOD Job isn't as easy as it sounds.
Wow... talk about calling people out....Wow... I have posted many times that I do NOT hate men.... I enjoy the company of several. You must be talking about when I first joined SW and was ranting about an ex. I won't walk away from something where I think I am right.... nada can do. And honestly, your opinion on the matter is not needed, as it was cleared up by Pryce, who pretty much saw the deal as it was. I don't necessarily respond to any male poster in a confrontational way; I am friends with some of the males on this board. I respond as I see fit, according to my moral values and beliefs, and it has nothing to do with male/female.
Katrine
09-30-2004, 04:59 PM
3 - I have made my apology to the board for overstepping any bounds and posting in an area where I apparently should not have, and have also apolgoized specifically to Kat.
Dood, its all good, its just an internet message board! :banghead:
Katrine
09-30-2004, 05:08 PM
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/index.php/stripperweb/stripping/exotic-dancer/t14014.html#lastPost
Which of these posts is not like the other?
MojoJojo
09-30-2004, 05:42 PM
I have an email address, and a PM account.
Feel free to use it.
Gynger
09-30-2004, 06:16 PM
Geeze, I have no idea how to comment on the last two or three pages I just got done reading.. I thought we were all one big happy family...
Dysfunctional Perhaps??? LOL
Abbeynormal
09-30-2004, 09:25 PM
I love the fact that this thread started out as a woman venting about how men speak up too much on this site, and men started speaking up for themselves on this thread, and now it's no better than any other thread that's been drowned out by posters who aren't dancers.
Men: you don't have to fix EVERYTHING. Women just want to bitch sometimes.
Blade
09-30-2004, 09:50 PM
Ok I'm going to beat this point to death... PLEASE clarify when discussing the men posting on this board, some of us ARE bouncers, dancers and/or djs and as industry employees have earned the right to post in every section on the board with the exception of Ladies Only.
I started the industry men speaking up because I wasn't clear on which group of men was being complained about. Please don't lump us all together when complaining about people posting in sections where they don't belong, or posting on topics they have no idea about, it really isn't fair to those of us who have earned our lumps and paid our dues in the trenches right alongside you ladies.
Casual Observer
09-30-2004, 10:07 PM
Men: you don't have to fix EVERYTHING. Women just want to bitch sometimes.
That's all I was trying to say.
CharlotteInTN
09-30-2004, 10:09 PM
My pet peeve around here is men who think they know more about dancing than actual dancers . We have a few of those .
Right. First walk a mile in my stilettos, THEN make an attempt to tell me how to do it. >:(
I have to agree. I put up with enough of those guys at work... it'd be nice to not have them on here... although I am new and don't post too much.
Hmm, Tazer attachment. I'm thinking that would have to go on her elbow. A quick elbow jab and a shock to go with it. Or perhaps attached to each nipple, try to suck, get a shock - much better than hairspray. LOL!
Ha ha. I'd love to have a tazer attachment myself... especially with those guys who try to suck my nipples. I actually had a guy bite me yesterday. I leaned forward a little and he leaned forward and bit me... left a mark. ARGH.
AinNY
10-01-2004, 05:29 AM
Just my opinion here but ...... Guys *edited* are exihibiting typical PL behavior. They sympathize and agree and generally kiss ass to get attention in an environment where money doesn't buy attention.
OK....i wasnt going to say shit...but oh well.
First...90% of my posts are in "The Lounge", "Music", or the "Picture Post" Forums. Occasionally I would have posted in other forums if I have something beneficial to say(do a search and check my posts). From now on I will not post in any other forums anymore at all, I've already stated that.
Second....Yes I post a lot. Im fucking bored a lot too. I am NOT here for attention. I dont even really like strip clubs nor do I hardly ever go to them. I just liked the forum and the people on it(maybe I shouldnt even be on this site then...but thats not my call...if people request that I leave...i will gratiously do so). I've made some damn good friends here already. I dont sympathize and agree to "kiss ass" or to "get attention that money doesnt buy"(i dont understand that anyway...who the hell buys attention?). What the hell benefit would I get from any of this anyway? Its an internet message board :-\
Dont get your panties in a bunch my man. And don't assume that you know anything about me.
*BTW...i dont know what "PL behavior" is. Pathetic Loser? If so...i never said I wasnt.
Sorry for wasting more of everyones time with this(there I go kissing ass again :-\ )
VenusGoddess
10-01-2004, 09:39 AM
Okie dokie. I think this thread has run it's course.
Thanks for participating and have a great day! :D
--Venus