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01-31-2003, 10:27 PM
Before I ask my ATF out to dinner I'd like to know from you guys with experience what are common signs from dancers that let you all know she want to date you. :-/

Chuck149
01-31-2003, 11:41 PM
Gee that's a tough one ??? If your spending a lot of money on her, it may be the money that's keeping her interested. The only sure sign is when you ask, she says yes ;)
To see if it's the money, try going to the club and not get any dances from her. If she still pays attention to you, it might be a sign that she is interested. Good luck !

02-01-2003, 07:38 AM
Dancers aren't shy. If they are interested in you outside of the club, they will let you know and invite you to hang out with them. This is just from my experience.

02-01-2003, 10:35 AM
I've been going to SC for 5 years, and have only dated four strippers. All of them made the first move, they initiated the first meeting. None were the typical first dates really, it was more of just hanging out. But if a dancer likes you, she'll let you know or have her dancer friends pass the message.

chet
02-01-2003, 11:23 AM
Drivers License, I'm with Chuck, take the money out of the equation the next time you visit her at the club, and you'll soon find the answer to your question.

Remember, the club is strictly for business and nothing else. You're crossing into dangerous territory---that of a RIL.

Good luck8)

Sleepy
02-01-2003, 02:18 PM
RIL stands for "Regular In Love"

Here's a page on it:
http://members.aol.com/asscweb/cf001.htm

chet
02-01-2003, 03:29 PM
Sleepy, you da man.

You guys can access all the acronyms and great archives and articles regarding stripclubs and dancers at the official ASSC website. 8)

chet
02-02-2003, 03:35 AM
Just wanted to add that Fusion posted his experience on the ASSC newsgroups several years ago in order to give his insight about stripclubs and dancers and perhaps spare his fellow PL's from falling into financial abyss with his eye opening post. Also, if I'm not mistaken, I think it was voted as one of the best AFTSD posts on ASSC.

If there's one thing I can take out of his experience to be true, it would be when he stated:

"Leave the strip clubs to their true purpose: to entertain us, not to serve as a dating service.":)

Chuck149
02-02-2003, 03:58 AM
Great post Sleepy. I read the article and found that OMG i'm an RIL :o :-[

02-03-2003, 01:26 PM
I have to agree with Snoop Dogg on this one, if a dancer does want to date you SHE will let YOU know. Dancers get asked out all the time and it can get irritating really quick. If you do decide to ask her out and she says no, it could be really awkward for both of you.

whispers
02-03-2003, 05:32 PM
Wife was a dancer........ She told me No the first 10 times I asked but started calling me at home for no real reason other than chit chat.

Girlfriend before her for 4 years was too............ She hung out regularly at a club I owned and always "dressed up" it seemed in a manner I found rather attractive. Never came with a guy and always hung around after the shows.


As was the girl she caught me with in April........... She simply came out and asked if I wanted to go out.


And a few dozen others over the last 20 years.


Quit spending money on her at the club and see what happens. If she's seriously interested in you she will still hang around in between customers and show interest in your day.

Sometimes I'll pull all the stuff out of my shirt pocket and place it on the table right before getting a table dance. There will always be a couple of business cards on top and many a lady has asked if they can take one.

When the phone rings and it's them it's a 50/50 chance they are interested.

Simply ask though. What's the worse your going to hear? No?

Lots more where she came from.

Kittie
04-19-2003, 11:19 PM
Hi everyone. I'm new to the blue site. This is my first post over here. I read through this thread and noticed that there weren't any dancer responses to this question. (Sorry if it was answered already in another thread. I havn't gone through the whole site yet.)
Anyway. You guys are right about the dancer approaching you. generally if a dancer wants to date you, she'll let you know. However, I don't think that most dancers really want to have a serious relationship with a customer. (Now this is just my opinion. I don't speak for all dancers everywhere so don't give up all hope)
I personally like to keep things professional. I don't enjoy having contact with my customers outside the club. That's not to say that I don't appreciate their patronage or that I don't like or respect them as people. But I like to keep my home and work separate. Things just get too complicated when I try to mix the two.
For instance, there was one guy who came in to see me at least three, sometimes four times a week. He always got a few LD's and we sat and talked for awhile when I things were slow. He was really funny and nice and an all around good guy. I really enjoyed his company and looked forward to seeing him. Then one day he asked me if I would like to go out with him sometime. I said sure and we went out for breakfast that morning after I got off work. (We weren't alone. A few other girls and one of the bartenders went out with us also.) We did this a few times and then he quit tipping me in the club. When I asked him why he no longer felt like tipping me, he said that he thought we were past that point in our relationship. What relationship? We had breakfast together a couple times. So what? I do that with my sister and I'm not dating her. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I wasn't interested in starting a new relationship at that point in my life. And to be honest, as much as I liked his personality, there just wasn't any real attraction there for me. So, even if I had been ready, it wouldn't have been with him.
I let him know in as nice a way as I could. He really was a nice guy and I don't like hurting people who've been respectful of me. (That's awful hard to find in this business)
I told him that I hoped it wouldn't stop him from comming to see me at the club. He said that he felt like I'd lied to him the whole time he'd been comming to see me. And that I was a money-hungry bitch.
And that's why I no longer have outside-the-club activities with my customers. Because it can get too complicated.
And while I don't consider myself to be a money-hungry bitch, I was concerned with the income I'd lost when he quit comming to see me. I mean, think about it. $10 a dance, about 4 dances a day, three to four days a week. That's $120-$160 that I had to make up somewhere else. It doesn't seem like that much, but $160 covers my car payment. Or I could use it to cover ALL of my utilities for the month. So, yeah I'd be lying if I said his money didn't figure in at all.
Just remember fellas. We are dancing because it's our job. It's what pays our bills. Of course we enjoy ourselves. And we enjoy being around you guys too. We would be doing something else if we didn't enjoy it. But it's a job first and foremost.
My advice is this: if you really like a dancer, DONT ask her out. For reasons both similar and different to mine this might make her uncomfortable around you. (Plus you have no idea how many guys think that a strip club is a dating agency, and it does get really, really annoying)
If you really like her, let her know you enjoy her company. Be nice. Be respectful. Tip well(she is at work).
And most importantly, HAVE FUN when you're with her. Show her what a good guy you can be, and if she's looking for a date, she'll ask you out!l

electric_head
04-20-2003, 02:09 AM
Hey Kittie,
Thank you for your post it comes at a good time for me ;)

yoda57us
04-20-2003, 02:37 AM
Kittie: Great post, thank you. Too many guys lose sight of the fact that, even if a dancer likes you as a person and enjoys your visits, you are still income to her as well. Any guy who is interested in a dancer needs to remove money from the equation first and foremost. If a girl is still interested she will find time for you in-between customers. I know dancers who date customers and I know dancers who don't. There are no other early warning signs that are relaible except for the all-mighty dollar.

Kittie
04-20-2003, 07:01 AM
That's true. If you stop giving her money you will definitely know if it was money and only money that keeps her around you.
And like I said, don't loose all hope. Because you never know. I met my fiance at the club where I work. He came in and played a few games of pool with me. He had gone to high school with some of the girls who worked there. Others he just knew from some of the other bars he goes to. We talked a lot and one night while I was working, I did something I normally don't do........I complained about my roomate. Ususally I don't bring up anything in conversation about my personal life if I can help it. But on that particular day one of my roomates' kids thought it would be fun to get into the fridge, take out some eggs, and break them open over my bed. I told him about it and I think I said something like, "I have got to find a new roomie!" Well, he had a 3 bedroom house that he bought with his ex before they split and he said he had an extra room if I wanted. One of the other girls I work with was living there already and since he knew a lot of the girls and the bartenders and the doorman and the waitresses, I had a lot of people that could give me a character reference. And he'd always been real respectful and fun so I said a very heartfelt thank you and arranged to move in. (Don't get me wrong here. I love kids, but OMG.....the eggs were the last straw.)
So I moved into the house, and since we now lived together I got to see a lot more of him and I got to know him a lot better than I would have if I'd been dividing my attention between him and my other customers at the club. (And actually he quit comming in to see me at the club after I moved in. **Hence the removal of money from the situation**)
At the time I moved in, he and I were both casually dating other people, but as we got to know more about each other we found that we really fit well into what each of us was looking for in a partner. So we told the people we were dating that it was quits and starting seeing each other. (That was actually kind of weird at first. I mean it's hard to have a first date with someone when you live at the same house. There's no impressing someone with my makeup or hair or outfit because he sees me in the morning.....before I brush my teeth or wash my face. But looking back on it now, I think that maybe it was the best way for us to start a relationship with each other. Cause we both had been hurt before. We both had been cheated on. And when you live with someone and you see them every single day, you don't have to worry about those kind of deceptions. You get to know them for who they really are......really quickly. I've dated some guys in the past who were pretty good at playing games with me, but I can't think of anyone who could keep up that kind of facade 24/7. So, yeah it was weird at first cause neither one of us had ever started dating someone while we were living with them before, but it worked out really well with us.)
Now I'm not saying that anyone thinking of dating a stripper should invite her to move in with him/her. And actually more often than not I can see that being a recipe for a dating disaster. The point I was trying to make with this is that you never know what can happen.
So yeah, I'd follow the advice to take money out of the situation. (And actually, come to think of it, my fiance was never really a customer of mine. He tipped when I was on stage but he never did get any dances from me.)
If she's really interested she'll still stick around after the money is gone.
Good luck with your girl :)

04-20-2003, 08:04 AM
First why do want to date her? Is it because you are interested in her as a person or that you just want to screw her? If it is her personality go ahead and ask her out, the worst that can happen is she says no. If you just want to do her, don't bother just order up an escort instead.

mr_punk
04-20-2003, 11:56 AM
i have no idea if this guy is looking for a "serious relationship" or a not so serious relationship. if it's the former, i'd say don't bother asking. if it's the latter,i'd say ask away.



<snip>
Then one day he asked me if I would like to go out with him sometime. I said sure and we went out for breakfast that morning after I got off work.
<snip>
He said that he felt like I'd lied to him the whole time he'd been comming to see me. And that I was a money-hungry bitch.
And that's why I no longer have outside-the-club activities with my customers. Because it can get too complicated.<snip>

can you blame him? he may have planted the seed, but by agreeing to go out with him. you provided the sunlight,fertilizer and the water.

SportsWriter2
04-20-2003, 01:37 PM
If a dancer wants you, she'll let you know right away. It's a kind of like impulse shopping. And it's a risk for you. I know a dancer who took a guy back to her apartment just to enrage her ex-BF. You don't need the drama of a smashed windshield (or face).... If get into it with a dancer, and you're good, all her friends will know.... If you're looking for good love, volunteer at a food bank.

Kittie
04-20-2003, 02:50 PM
I would like to remind mr_punk that (as I believe I stated in my previous post)when I did go out to breakfast with this particular customer, we were NOT alone.
There were other dancers, the bartender, and one of the bouncers present. Some of the girls had their boyfriends with them too. This was something we all did about 3 times a week anyway. He just joined us on a few occaisions. I drove there in my own car and paid for my own food and went home by myself. I never gave him my phone number or my real name. He didn't know where I lived, so he didn't come and pick me up at my door and take me out. I did not consider it to be dating. And until he said something about our "relationship" I didn't realize that he did either.
I don't think that I led him on. What I think is that this guy read way too much into the situation. I think that because he wanted me to be his girlfriend, he imagined that more was going on than actually was.

mr_punk
04-20-2003, 03:30 PM
I would like to remind mr_punk that (as I believe I stated in my previous post)when I did go out to breakfast with this particular customer, we were NOT alone.There were other dancers, the bartender, and one of the bouncers present. Some of the girls had their boyfriends with them too. This was something we all did about 3 times a week anyway. He just joined us on a few occaisions. I drove there in my own car and paid for my own food and went home by myself. I never gave him my phone number or my real name. He didn't know where I lived, so he didn't come and pick me up at my door and take me out. I did not consider it to be dating.

i got that part. obviously,all of those factors made a difference to you but not to him.


And until he said something about our "relationship" I didn't realize that he did either.

exactly. thus,when he asked you out and you ACCEPTED, he believed that you were interested. his assumption may have been misguided, but you also assumed that he was interested in just being friends.



I don't think that I led him on. What I think is that this guy read way too much into the situation. I think that because he wanted me to be his girlfriend, he imagined that more was going on than actually was.

i don't think you lead him on, at least intentionally. however, how many guys in a stripclub (or in real life) ask you out with the basic intention of just being friends? he wasn't the only one imagining things.





Q: How do you write women so well?

A:I think of a man and I take away reason and accountability. - Jack Nicholson from the movie "As Good As It Gets". ;-)

Lexi
04-20-2003, 06:50 PM
Kittie
Great posts. I had the same problem with 2 guys. One was a $300 regular, and he stopped as soon as I became "too real" because we spoke through email once in a while. The other was one who said he couldnt look at me that way anymore, yet again because of email. I mixed work with my real life. And I rarely ever do it now.

You guys have to understand that we are there to make money. I dance to pay for school. If I lose a regular, it bothers me. I hate when guys say, "take away the money...see how fast she loses interest". Its the same for you. If you continued to work at your current job, yet received no pay, im sure your enthusiasm for work would dwindle, would it not? You'd go looking for a new job, one who PAYS. Same for us. Since my regular left, I moved on to others who would.

mr_punk
04-20-2003, 08:42 PM
I dunno. It seems to me that he meets a dancer within a group from the club, and she drives there herself, picks up her own tab, then goes home herself - to make a romantic connection out of that is real PL material, and the dancer shouldn't be held accountable for the PL's delusions.

it's no more or less delusional than when a dancer assumes that, if a first time customer or regular asks her out,he just wants to be friends. there are simular threads on SW covering this issue and most of the dancers there know that is not the case. which is why most of them don't (at least that's what they say) see customers outside the club. i'm not saying she is 100% accountable, but she does bare some responsibility by not setting boundaries. yes, he may have been delusional,but her assumption that he should have picked up these non-verbal clues maybe equally unrealistic.



I've gone out dining and drinking and dancing with women and never considered those dates. Just friends having a good time. A rational person knows the difference.

so have i and a rational person also knows that there's a big difference between dining, drinking and dancing with women that holds his "interest" (or his "interest" for a night) vs a woman that holds no interest for him at all.




You guys have to understand that we are there to make money. I dance to pay for school. If I lose a regular, it bothers me. I hate when guys say, "take away the money...see how fast she loses interest". Its the same for you. If you continued to work at your current job, yet received no pay, im sure your enthusiasm for work would dwindle, would it not? You'd go looking for a new job, one who PAYS. Same for us. Since my regular left, I moved on to others who would.

i have no problem with that. i'm sure you realize that you can't have it both ways with some of your regulars. you can't be totally honest without losing some them as regulars. it's just the nature of the beast. however, i'm just bewildered by dancers who think that if a guy asks you out or offers you expensive gifts,that his ultimate goal is to be your friend. most of the time that's not the case at all,imo.

GoldCoastGirl
04-21-2003, 02:29 AM
Oh man how I'm actually experiencing this at the moment! Ever since my move to the club I dance at currently... I'm learning a whole new set of lessons! I didn't have regulars at my old club hence I wasn't able to learn thru hands-on experience all of what has been talked about within this thread.

I have two RILs... one is a definate RIL. He's been spending $$ at my club for many years.. he had a dancer which he spent $$ on exclusively prior to me and one prior to her. He did that for 2 years with the dancer prior to me...

The other one has only just recently become an RIL.... I mean like last weekend recent! He usually comes in and gets a VIP dance with me.. well.. guess who was trying to take $$ out of the equation. Unfortunately for him (and to me in the end)... it is ONLY because of the $$ that I show interest in him (flirt with him and listen to him tell me about his work etc).

Granted, I may loose them but there are others who are club regulars... they have a group of dancers who are their favourites hence share their wealth amongst that group. That's a good way to operate.... makes sure that no ONE particular dancer feels she "owns" you .. that you are HER regular.

I'm glad I read about this thread... it helped me with my most recent RIL situation.

;D ;D

Theresa
04-21-2003, 02:51 AM
You guys have to understand that we are there to make money. I dance to pay for school. If I lose a regular, it bothers me. I hate when guys say, "take away the money...see how fast she loses interest". Its the same for you. If you continued to work at your current job, yet received no pay, im sure your enthusiasm for work would dwindle, would it not? You'd go looking for a new job, one who PAYS. Same for us. Since my regular left, I moved on to others who would.



This is a really good point. I think that some guys are under the impression that they are the ONLY customer to ever ask us out. I also hate it when I see the advice, "stop giving her money and see what happens." If every guy who wanted to date us started doing that we wouldn't even be able to be dancers anymore b/c we would be making absolutely NO $$$ at all.

Also, I was recently having a discussion with a shooter girl at my club about guys wanting to date the dancers. She brought up a very valid point: Most dancers are extremely attractive, as we spend a lot of time and money on improving our appearances, due to the nature of our job. I hope this doesn't sound snobbish, but many of the customers who patronize our clubs are average looking, at best. WHY do some of these guys think that they can just walk into a club full of beautiful women and think that these girls are ripe for the picking?

money
04-21-2003, 03:16 AM
I have been out with dancers and have gotten to know some of em pretty good. And after getting to know them, I have a question for the guys that want to date dancers. And that question is WHY? Most of them have issues somewhere along the way. They may look good, but the baggage is incredible! OK, if you just want them for a quickie fine, but to get to know them personally? NO WAY! I wouldnt want my worst enemy to have to suffer the psychological trauma that they would go thru during and after the relationship ends! Anyhow this is just my opinion!

lestat1
04-21-2003, 05:49 AM
This is a really good point. I think that some guys are under the impression that they are the ONLY customer to ever ask us out. I also hate it when I see the advice, "stop giving her money and see what happens." If every guy who wanted to date us started doing that we wouldn't even be able to be dancers anymore b/c we would be making absolutely NO $$$ at all.

Also, I was recently having a discussion with a shooter girl at my club about guys wanting to date the dancers. She brought up a very valid point: Most dancers are extremely attractive, as we spend a lot of time and money on improving our appearances, due to the nature of our job. I hope this doesn't sound snobbish, but many of the customers who patronize our clubs are average looking, at best. WHY do some of these guys think that they can just walk into a club full of beautiful women and think that these girls are ripe for the picking?


I've seen this issue discussed a lot both here and on the pink site. I've thought about it and come up with a humble little theory. Dancers are gorgeous. You have your pick of men. Something as simple as a dating opportunity is not uncommon for you, and has little value. You are "dating rich". For many men, dating opportunities are much harder to come by, and so are much more valuable. We are "dating poor". Much like a poor person who would relish in finding a $10 on the ground while Bill Gates couldn't care less. The dancers who've spoken up so far are clear that you'd much rather have a customer spend $100/week on you than to lose that customer&money and gain the dating opportunity. I can't imagine myself choosing money over a dating opportunity. If you offered me $100/week pay cut in exchange for dating a coworker I might like, I'd take the offer in a heartbeat. So guys, just try to realize that they are drowning in dating offers and your offer means about as much to them as finding a stalk of corn in Kansas. I hope noone was too offended by my gross overgeneralizing and stereotyping.

Theresa, as for why some guys think they have a chance: Sometimes y'all are just too damn good as actresses. I haven't asked out a dancer yet, but I've left clubs before thinking "Wow, she might like me." I manage to crash back down to reality in a few hours, but it's nice while it lasts.

-lestatdl1

electric_head
04-21-2003, 09:36 AM
About this dating thing everyone wants to date UP you always try to do better than last time. To alot of us guys dancers are very near the top of the dating chart.

aggieed
04-21-2003, 10:25 AM
Edited

mr_punk
04-21-2003, 10:36 AM
Just because guys think with their dicks doesn't mean that they should have absolution for doing so.

oh sure. i agree. the guy really didn't handle the situation very well/


Can a dancer and a customer have a just-friends relationship outside of the club and a business relationship inside it? Possibly. But probably not. If you're playing the odds, and in business that's what you do, then don't do it.

you're probably right. however, a business relationship inside and outside the club is a different story.

Alanna
04-21-2003, 08:29 PM
in a lot of ways i'm going to have to go with Punk on this one. although it seems clear in Kittie's situation that the customer assumed too much, i can't say that he's entirely to blame for his feelings. dancers are very much aware that when customers ask them out it usually isn't because they're interested in being her buddy. the circumstances of the "dates" being in a group situation, the tab split and going home alone doesn't necessarily constitute a "buddy" relationship either... after all, that's exactly how most people begin the dating process anyway.

it's fairly reasonable that the customer assumed a relationship that had gone beyond that of customer/service provider... because it did. once the customer/provider relationship is taken outside the club, it's no longer just a customer/provider relationship. not to say that the customer should have assumed automatically that the relationship was becoming a romantic one, but it also should not have been assumed that the customer/provider relationship didn't alter or wouldn't become further altered. actually, it's immaterial whether or not the dancer's intensions were to be friends or lovers with the customer by seeing him outside the club... she should have realized that taking the customer/provider relationship outside the club would change the dynamic of the relationship at that point, and the change of the relationship could (and probably would) effect the business relationship.

it would have been more appropriate for the dancer to make her intensions clear to the customer at the point where she agreed to see him outside the club. if he found that those intensions didn't match his, then both the dancer and the customer could have been spared what happened as a result of too much assuming going on on both sides. i believe in a situation like this, a good deal of the burden of establishing the nature of an altered relationship and what it would entail lies mostly on the dancer since she should be aware that when a customer that sees her naked, who flirts with him and is attractive asks her out he more than likely has sexual or romantic intensions in mind. however, even in the odd situation that his intensions were to become only friends, that still alters the customer/provider relationship in such a way that the business relationship could become damaged... after all, how many of a dancer's friends does she make money from?

McCain
04-23-2003, 01:34 AM
I'm just going to completely side-step the whole Kittie/Punk sub-thread here, and go in for the kill on the original topic. Note: Controversial opinions may ensue... :P

If you are truly interested in a potential romantic relationship, or even simply a friendship, with a dancer -outside of her club - then there is a pretty simple way of getting an answer. If you have her number or vice versa, then arrange for one of you to call the other. If not, then on your next visit, have her sit with you in a relatively quiet and private area. And politely inquire as to whether she would like an actual relationship / friendhip / whatever. She'll most likely say no, but that's the worst thing that can happen, if you have phrased it politely and in a discreet manner.

Note that does not mean asking her "Would you like a date?" - which means something much less positive to us.

If she says yes, then your mission - should you choose to accept it - is to essentially detach yourself as a customer, primarily by no longer spending your money on her within a club. Sad to say, but it's going to be about your only definitive answer as to whether she wants a boyfriend or a sugar daddy. At the same time, however, be prepared to deal with Typical Stripper Mentality. (Any questions regarding the phenomenon of TSM in a relationship? Ask Tre. He deals with it on a daily basis LOL. And he does a very good job of it, might I add...).

There are going to be people who will say that you don't stand a chance in hell, that we turn all guys down, that we only dtae sugar daddies, etc.... Those are reasonable generalizations (if there is such a thing), but they are not absolutes. There is always the chance that you could be that one in a thousand that catches our eye, our interest, or our heart. It does happen. Not all of us prefer the money for a few lap dances over the wealth of a great friendship or relationship - we're just more selective when we make the choice, because we have to be.

My two cents worth.

McCain

lestat1
04-23-2003, 03:29 AM
I'm just going to completely side-step the whole Kittie/Punk sub-thread here, and go in for the kill on the original topic. Note: Controversial opinions may ensue... :P

McCain

I don't think that was controversial at all, but a rational, clear bit of advice; as the straightforward method often is.
So the odds are as good as 1 in a 1000 huh? Hmm....I could probably find 1000 dancers. :)

jennymodel
04-23-2003, 06:27 PM
Kittie-"When I asked him why he no longer felt like tipping me, he said that he thought we were past that point in our relationship."
I love this part! It sounds like he thought he bought the dancer.

Dharmabum
04-24-2003, 08:43 AM
Skipping all the in between stuff and going waaaay back to the original posters question, I'd say don't do it. It doesn't sound to me as if you are secure enough to date a dancer, even if she does say yes. Say she does say yes and you two get serious, how are you going to feel about her dancing for other men? If you aren't secure enough to ask her out, my guess is you're gonna have real trouble dealing with her job. Forget about it!

RealGuy
04-24-2003, 03:59 PM
OK I'll just put this small point in! If a dancer is interested in you she will let you know by more then just a number. They are very forward about great guys who are respectful and appreciative. Usually will come with a whisper in the ear to meet her at a location later that night for a drink. Could be followed by I don't date men who hange out in strip clubs, which is your exit cue and see her later. Think of that one as a test. It has happened to me a couple of times and they have both turned into great friendships and then on to relationships. I was out having a good time and not looking for anything, they liked the energy and wanted to party and hang. so they made that happen and I took it from thier. Always respect and love with lots of FUN! RG

04-25-2003, 03:47 PM
I have never heard a dancer say that she thought a customer who asked her on a date just wanted to be friends. Usualy they say the guy either wants her as a gf or gfe- usualy the later.