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Jayln
04-13-2003, 05:18 AM
So...I have a question for you guys about lap dancing.

When the girl is giving you a lap dance, do you expect her to benefit sexually? I wonder, because a lot of guys have been asking me recently if I am aroused, etc etc. One customer thought I came while I was dancing for him, another assumed that all of the girls must get "really horny" at work. And then yesterday, this jerk tried to finger me and when I told him it wasn't allowed, he retorted "Well, doesn't it feel good?"

Frankly, I have rarely been turned on while dancing for a customer. It has happened twice, and mildly. I think when you are a dancer, you are desensitized to most of it. It's not that I don't enjoy some of my customers as people, it's just not in any way sexual for me.

I fake it well, trust me. Most customers think I am really into it, but it's not true, it's just part of the entertainment. I hate faking it however.

Do you expect the lap dancing to have a reciprocal sexual effect, or do you just assume that she is doing ti for your entertainment? Again, it's not as if I don't like my customers; it's just that I'm not attracted to them.

Help...I feel manipulative faking interest, but also feel it's expected.

sol_de_pr2
04-13-2003, 05:27 AM
Um, well, it's a dancer-to-dancer thing. Like, some dancers will feel sexually aroused when lap dancing, others don't. Even so in both instances it will be clear to most customers that the dancer is doing a very good job and won't have a clue as to whether or not the dancer is really enjoying herself as well (not just faking it). Even the most sexually aroused dancer will make herself clear as to the purpose of the dance (and therefore of her profession) as a means of entertainment and not a sign that something further can arise between dancer and client. So don't feel uptight, Jayln. You ARE doing your job.

electric_head
04-13-2003, 05:34 AM
I don't expect it. Not when laps are only a few minutes long. It takes a lot longer than that ;) But don't be bored to death on the other hand. I want to have fun together.

Prester_John
04-13-2003, 05:47 AM
Do I expect a dancer to be gratified? No, I don’t expect it. The whole situation usually doesn’t lend itself to such higher levels of human pleasure, especially with the desensitize factor. That would fall under the realm of making a SC experience more then it’s supposed to be (gratifying yourself at a SC also falls under this realm)

However, I would love them to be gratified with me, in some way small or great, because that means she is getting some sort of pleasure too. I like to give back what I get, in hypothetical terms, plus if I can make her feel a little better for a little bit, then I feel a little better as well.

I have always thought sexual gratification involving two people, whether it is mild, playful or full on, is an equal, two way street. Its not one person pleasing the other, its both people pleasing each other together. Although SC experiences by nature are us customers getting some pleasurable experience (in the very broadest sense), I can't shake the belief that it would be nice to reciprocate that somewhat with a dancer.

There is nothing wrong with bringing an honest smile to someone face, if you can.

PJ

lestat1
04-13-2003, 05:54 AM
I don't expect her to enjoy the dance in that way. One time I had a friend come back from getting a lap dance and swore she "got off." Needless to say, I was skeptical, and on a later visit I got a dance from her. At the end she picked up the scarf she'd been sitting on and giggled: "wow, I got it all wet, that's never happened to me before!" Same line she gave him. But my friend actually believed her, so there are the clueless guys out there that think you're getting that turned on by giving a dance.

Anyway, I'm not looking for a Meg Ryan performance or a bored dancer staring off into space, just somewhere in the middle. A simple sincere compliment and a smile, or a soft sigh during the dance is enough for me (i.e. a little faking), since I like to think that while she's not being sexually gratified in any way, she at least doesn't hate being back there with me. Which is all I think most of us customers are expecting.

-lestatdl1

Jayln
04-13-2003, 06:10 AM
To clarify...I do enjoy the customers. Many I have a good time with, just not in a sexual way.
My club is sooo high contact though, and I would say that probably at least half the guys try to finger the girls, and they try to justify their actions by saying that the dancer should like it, as if they are doing us a favor! I don't allow them to touch me there because it makes me uncomfortable, and some guys get mad. I guess that is my problem. By acting like I am exually aroused during dances, I think I may be inviting unwanted contact.

electric_head
04-13-2003, 06:18 AM
Tell them up front NO TOUCHIE don't do anything that you don't want too.

radiowinz
04-13-2003, 08:44 AM
Realistically it is a job to the girls and they don't get sexual gratification from it. The gratification should be that their sensuality, eroticism, and sexuality were given to you, even for only a few minutes, and granted for pay, but nonetheless given to you. If she's done her job well you can pretend that you are with her in real life. If you build up a relationship with a favorite girl, you can hope that in addition to the dollars she's getting from you, she also enjoys seeing the pleasure she brings to you. You also hope for their sake that they can separate the fantasy from the club, from their real life relationship.

doc-catfish
04-13-2003, 12:42 PM
Do you expect the lap dancing to have a reciprocal sexual effect, or do you just assume that she is doing ti for your entertainment? Again, it's not as if I don't like my customers; it's just that I'm not attracted to them.

Help...I feel manipulative faking interest, but also feel it's expected.


I don't expect a dancer to get ME off during a LD, so any notion that I'm helping to gratify her would be absolutely silly on my part. Truthfully if a gal seems THAT into it, it can almost be scary and would have me wondering "what the hell is she on?".

What I love is the intimacy and interaction between the dancer and me during a dance. Thats SO much better than any attempt to make the dance feel like simulated sex. And while I'm sure most dancers aren't particularly crazy about doing laps, they all (the really good dancers who AREN'T selfish, drunk, or strung out on drugs in particular) enjoy dancing for customers who behave themselves.

It's always been my philosiphy that dancers do their best work when they don't have to be on the defensive. While I'm not the most attractive guy or the biggest spender, I've gotten many a compliment from dancers just for being considerate and not sticking my grimy mitts where they don't belong.

As far as faking it, don't feel bad. All accomplished dancers learn to bullshit with their customers. If my business (and my manners) are genuinely appreciated thats as real as a dancer has to get.

mr_punk
04-13-2003, 04:11 PM
When the girl is giving you a lap dance, do you expect her to benefit sexually?

you're kidding,right? honestly,the thought never crossed my mind because that would require some effort on my part. if i have to do that i probably wouldn't go to a sc at all. what would be the point? it's supposed to be all about me.



Help...I feel manipulative faking interest, but also feel it's expected.

of course, it's expected. futhermore, if the average PL can't tell the difference between stripper shit and reality. well, he deserves every piano payment coming his way for the next 10 years. i wouldn't worry about it. it sounds like their problem and not yours.

EvilCyn
04-13-2003, 11:04 PM
If I got gratification doing dances the whole club would know I am a screamer......LOL
I don't get horny per say giving a dance, but in a way knowing you are giving a good dance, and that they are really enjoying it is a turn on in that you are doing a job well.
I am not there to get horny and excited, but knowing that we are entertaining well makes our smiles bigger, and easier for the night to flow well if we are enjoying ourselves.......

McCain
04-14-2003, 01:21 AM
When they try touching you, tell them that you are a hardcore exhibitionist and only get horny from guys watching you tease them without touching. The few times I had to use it seemed to work... but you have to be a really good actress to make it fly. Make sure you're convincing, so they'll think you're telling the truth.

Sorry guys, but there are some men who really are clueless enough to necessitate such tactics.

McCain

Prester_John
04-14-2003, 02:29 AM
Sorry guys, but there are some men who really are clueless enough to necessitate such tactics.

McCain

I would hazard to guess "some" could be changed to "a lot" and still be truthful.

PJ

yoda57us
04-14-2003, 12:01 PM
Jayln: Lol, the truth hurts but we all need to hear it! I've seen some great acting over the years but I never allow myself to think it's for real....ok, I may have been fooled a few times. Anyway. I would much rather achieve a comfort/trust level with a girl-actualy enjoy her company and have her enjoy mine, than to have her think she has to keep making all those fake orgasm noises to keep me coming back.

Jayln
04-14-2003, 12:41 PM
Haha...I don't actually do a lot of fake orgasm noises, but act like I am just really into it. With customers I enjoy dancing for, it's not a problem. It's the ones who aren't gentlemen that I have to use the performance on. Some guys have actually expected me to have a real orgasm....hmmm, not likely.

SportsWriter2
04-14-2003, 01:10 PM
I teach young dancers how to fake a suppressed orgasm and deny anything happened. Give guys 10 seconds of the zombie look and they're happy.... As for the real thing, I'm always scared of the reflex response on the other side, especially biting.

Richard_Head
04-14-2003, 02:59 PM
I fake it well, trust me. Most customers think I am really into it, but it's not true, it's just part of the entertainment. I hate faking it however.I don't think you have anything to worry about, I think most people realize you are faking it. I certainly don't expect dancers to get aroused when dancing for me, but then again I realize you are all just doing your jobs while some people may not have grasped that concept yet.

GoldCoastGirl
04-14-2003, 05:48 PM
It's always been my philosiphy that dancers do their best work when they don't have to be on the defensive.

AMEN !!!!!!!! :-D

I just had to say AMEN to that...


As for being gratified... I've rarely actually been totally turned on by a private/lap dance. I do enjoy it when the customer gives back to me in some way: a massage, stroking my back, stroking my neck. I like it when a customer can help me relax. There are spots where if you touch me softly (rough hands don't work).. it just makes me melt.

A good massage is also another one that makes me melt and love you sooo much... in the end I will give you a better dance since I'm enjoying it.

:-)

MaxFL
04-25-2003, 09:19 AM
If I got gratification doing dances the whole club would know I am a screamer......LOL
I don't get horny per say giving a dance, but in a way knowing you are giving a good dance, and that they are really enjoying it is a turn on in that you are doing a job well.
I am not there to get horny and excited, but knowing that we are entertaining well makes our smiles bigger, and easier for the night to flow well if we are enjoying ourselves.......

EvilCyn has the point. If we compare Strippers to any other category of workers, those that perform better are those that in some way enjoy their work. If you just do the job because of the money but you hate what you are doing you would have very little chances to have success. This does not mean the dancer should have an orgasm.... but at least should not feel like she is being punished ;)
I like to know that at least she feels comfortable and she is grateful that I spend money for her.
Faking to give the customer an even better experience I think is ok, but faking when you are completely neutral or even repulsive to what you are doing it's not good for the customer and for the dancer.
Not all the girls are dancers, therefore I would expect that those who goes for this job would be more keen to contact with peole and to their sexuality than others.... otherway they would probably not be able to dance naked infront of a bunch of guys. This said,... I would not expect the dancer to be horny but at least pleased to be there :).