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azdd
03-16-2006, 10:37 PM
Outstanding report GW! The detail in your report is amazing considering the level of impairment.... I regularly drive 120 miles to visit my ATF, although it's usually for a work-related purpose anyway. But, I know what it's like to drive a long distance with great SCJ anticipation, and then just have everything go wrong. So, congrats on a very successful adventure!

yoda57us
03-17-2006, 09:41 AM
Gen: Great TR. It's no secret from your previous reports that you are a true gentleman. You know what works and what doesn't work for you in the SC environment. What impresses me even more is your ability to stay true to yourself and the ladies even when you are shitfaced! I've been fortunate enough to have been in your shoes when the "last dance" rolls around. Like you, I'm never quite sure if it's SS or not but I don't really care. That's all that matters.

Thanks for a great read!

GenWar
03-17-2006, 10:40 AM
Ok..one more quick one, since I have the time...

So I am in the City on business. NYC. The Big Apple. Manhattan. One thing I noticed is that I never hear anything about clubbing in NYC. The review sites have no NYC Clubs in their top lists. I never see a post in Junkie Club Chat about which is the best club in NYC. It always struck me as a little funny, I mean, from a population analysis standpoint, the ladies at NYC clubs should be absolutely top-shelf. I think I always knew, on a subconscious level, that you don't party in NYC because the ROI is so bad. Especially junkies, who are masters are strip club ROI. Still, I never really grasped this concept. After last night, I do.

My ATF works at a club in Philly. It is my favorite club, not only because it is very very high quality, but because, on the night of my bachelor party, I feel in love there. Not with a dancer (though there was a Korean lass named Miss C that night who I will remember to my grave) but with strip clubs. It was the birth of a hobby that I truly believe will last a lifetime. I know I will have to slack off when the mortgage payments start and the kids are born but I am greatly anticipating raising my kids and sending them to California for college and then becoming FBR. :) Anyway, last time we visited her, she told me that she has stopped working in Philly except for random Saturday nights, like the ones in which we tell her we are coming. I asked where she is working and she mentioned that she mainly works weeknights at a club in Manhattan. She told me a little about it and it sounded nice. Manhattan is only 150 miles from home, unlike Philly's 250, but weeknights are tough for clubbing 150 miles from home.

Well, when corporate scheduled the regional training for one of the new products in NYC, I convinced the boss that we would not be able to effectively market, deliver or support the product if we just watch online training. We have to go to the in-person training to do the product justice. (Before you admire/admonish me, ulterior motives aside, the in person training really is superior and I do believe that my advocacy was true.) Then I email the ATF and tell her the date and time I will come see her. "Ok, when you get there, tell them that I left something for you at the desk. I'll leave a pass for you to get in no cover." That was a sweet touch but I didn't think it was necessary. Still, I thanked her and made a mental note.

So last night starts at a Korean Barbeque. I knew the food would be good as we were the only non-asian party in the place. I started in on the warm saki early (so good.) We then went to a bar/soul food place on 23rd st to watch the Mexicans beat USA in the World Baseball classic. (If you lose to the Mexicans, you'll lose to anyone.) After this, the rest of the guys turned in and I wandered down Broadway to the ATF's club. There are about 5 guys in suits milling about on the sidewalk. I walk up to the door and attempt to operate it. And Fail. I push and pull and tug but nothing happens. I turn to the suits and say "Is this an entrance?" One of them breaks off and says, "Of course sir. Forgive me." he jumps up the steps and easily opens the door for me. I tell myself that he has a keyless unlocking mechanism in his pocket and I am not an idiot unable to operate a door. I step inside and another gentleman in a nice suit says, "Good evening, sir. There is a $30 cover charge." "Ah yes, Miss Y left me a pass at the door." The lady behind the desk says, "Miss Y? Excellent. Go right in and have an great time." I step inside. Across a little foyer area is a coat check girl.I give her my black sleeveless fleece vest and she says, "That will be $4, sir." I slip her an abe and turn to look at the club. Yet another suit approaches me, "Good evening, Sir. Welcome to (club name.) My name is Mr. J and I am one of the managers here. Would you like to sit at the bar or can I help you find a table?" I palm another Abe from my wallet and reply, "Table, please." "Right this way." he leads me down the steps into the first part of the club. This part is basically a narrow path between a stools and a bar table on the right wall and the bar, bar chairs and mini stage (built into the bar) on the left side. Huge spotless glass mirrors dominate the walls, making the place look MUCH larger than it is. The mirrors make it difficult to realize the space you are standing in is less than 15 ft across. He leads me past the bar to a table RIGHT next to the main stage. I stop to briefly muse if he saw my planned $5 tip and decided to screw me on the table or if he considered sitting at the stage to be a benefit. It could be the latter, because, unlike a lot of clubs, the chairs do not FACE the stage but face tables NEXT to the stage. I shake his hand, allowing him to palm the Abe and thank him. He nods and turns away, surreptiously checks the tip and returns, saying, "Thank you sir. If you need anything, a drink, a massage, a special girl, just let me know." I nod as though I am used to such service. I'm not. The managers at the ATF's other club have no necks and always surprise me with thier ability to talk.

Mr. J departs replaced quickly by Miss J, the waitress. She is a stunner and I have to introduce myself. She gives me a terrific smile and asks for my order. I give it and she departs. I put all my pocket junk on the table, mints, flask of Ketel One, sunglasses, wallet, etc. I look up at the stage and a nice latino dancer is doing a reasonable job of playing with the pole. She decides to do a spin and springs up, grabbing the pole and spinning. The problem is that her outstretched leg went over my table and then OVER MY HEAD?!?!! It was a bit closer than I was comfortable with and my body language must have showed that, because the dancer gave me a smirk. Miss J returned at this point and sets down my drink. "That'll be $15." she says. "$15?!?!!" I say, in what is only partially mock surprise. "Sorry, Gen," she says with a grin, as if to apologize that I wandered into this money pit. I slip her a Jackson and then give her a couple of the $1s she hands back. She wanders off and I immediately spot a different table. It is next to the stairs leading into the second part of the club. I grab half my junk and transfer it to the new table. I grab the rest and officially move my seat there. Seconds later, the ATF is there.

She is looking terrific, having cut her long brown hair and given it blonde highlights, layering and all that other fancy crap women do to make their hair look great. She sits on my lap and we have a nice long talk. This is pretty odd, as she usually goes with the league minimum chit chat and goes for the dance. She orders a champange with a cherry in it ($15?!!?!!!) and I steer the conversation towards a subtle inquiry about her relaxed state. She tells me that it is dead. It looks busy to me and I say so. She tells me that Thursday is usually the busiest day of the week and there is nothing going on. She points and I follow her finger to see no less than 6 dancers idlying outside the dressing room door chatting and generally doing nothing. I shrug and she then shows me the trick of the mirrors. The room looks MUCH larger than it is. She shows me how to look from the floor up and I see that the room is tiny. The entire main area of the club is about 1000 square feet, only slightly larger than my apartment. It is TINY.

As we are chatting, the DJ calls her name. I realize that she is set to go on stage. She starts to excuse herself and I ask her if it is permissible to tip on stage. I haven't seen anyone do it. She shrugs and says, "It isn't commonly done, no. But you feel free too :)" I nodded and she departed. I waited until the third verse of Kanye's "GoldDigger" before getting up and turning around to face the bar. I see 6 human souls, 2 bartenders, 1 customer, 2 dancers drinking at the bar and Miss Y on the stage. Ridiculous. I head down and slip Miss Y the last Abe in my arsenal. She smiles and sits, scooching over to talk to me. No one notices that she isn't dancing. I ask about the rotation and she tells me that she will do three songs there and then will do three songs on the other main stage later in the night. The third stage, off to the right near the VIP room, was empty and dark. She ended our talk with a polite dismissal (think one of the managers saw her not dancing) and I headed back to the chair.

After a couple more great songs (The DJ was excellent.), she came back and sat again. We chatted some more and she gave me some club details, like house fees and tip out costs. She lamented the 45 minutes she spent looking for parking because she refuses to use the $40 garage. Eventually, she pats me on the chest and says, "I am going to dance for you next song." "I don't get a choice?" I ask. She laughs. "Nope..." "Fair enough." I say. The next song starts and off she goes. Her dances are a cut above, as usual. She is the best light touch dancer I have ever had the chance to experience. She can't compare with Miss M, who is a much more interactive experience. But it isn't fair to...if Miss Y worked at Miss M's club...I shudder to think. After two, she thanks me and gets dressed. She doesn't even ask for a third. This is one of the benefits of having an ATF, being able to operate on an unspoken wavelength.

(to be continued)

GenWar
03-17-2006, 10:42 AM
(concluded...)

She sits a bit longer and finishes up her drink. She then says she is going to walk around and promises to return. She leaves and I relax and exchange some texts with the wingman, who is eating his heart out at home. I get approached by a couple of other girls but the warchest is light. In any event, they are blantant rule #12 violations, so I have an easy time turning them away. A little while later, Miss Y returns and sits on my lap again. We chat some more and enjoy a relaxed silence for a bit before she dances two more for me. After these two, the manager comes over and whispers to her and she leaves, promising to return. I sip some more and lament my lack of cigar. She returns moments later and sits in the chair next to me this time. She asks if we can get another round and I agree. She calls the waitress and orders more drinks. The waitress is back in seconds (It REALLY IS dead.) with $26 worth of 2 drinks. We sit and drink some more. We talk about sales technique because I am noting that there are no less than 6-8 dancers at all times doing NOTHING. There are plenty of guys alone. I suggest that perhaps the ladies would be better served chatting up the lonely guys. Sure, some of them may be fuckos and not tip or buy a dance, but some might be willing to pony up the cash for a little attention. After all, if the guy spends nothing, are they worse off than just sitting alone doing nothing near the dressing room door? She tries to explain to me that most girls don't think that way and begins to let me know that I am an exception in the strip club clientele and not the rule. I disagree and say that I believe strongly that most customers are gentlemen and recognize their debt to girls who invest time in them. From there, the conversation degenerates and somehow we end up in a spirited discussion about the meaning and implication of the sexual overtones in a club. It is a great argument, which I find to be kind of a turn on. Having a beautiful woman focus all her energy on you is cool but having to have an intelligent, involved discussion about a topic of interest is even better! Eventually, after enough loud whispered exchanges that actually drew glances from some of the hovering dancers, she decides to prove one of her points through interpretive lap dancing. She gives me two more phenomenal dances and which point I can only grin, shrug and tell her "you may have a point."

By now, it is 1 am and I have to work in the morning. I tell her I have to go and make her promise not to wonder if I am genuinely upset by our debate. She inquires if I have money for a cab (she knows that I will sometimes give her ALL my money. Rule #1 and all.) I promise that I do and thank her for hanging out with me. She grins and we exchange cheek kisses and she saunters off. I gather up all the crap, head up front to the coatcheck where I find it empty. I scan the club, catch Mr. J's eye and he rushes over and gets my fleece back. I tip him, swing by the DJ to drop a few bucks on him, and hit the door. Outside the coatcheck girl and the doorman are smoking and chatting. I ask the doorman to hail me a cab and I head out into the night, much poorer and much richer for the experience.

-gen

lunchbox
03-17-2006, 12:22 PM
She orders a champange with a cherry in it ($15?!!?!!!)
It probably had sugar in it as well, AKA, Champagne cocktail.

yoda57us
03-17-2006, 01:23 PM
Gen, DUDE! Don't eeeeven tell me you where in NYC yesterday! I was working in Manhattan for the last two days!

I haven't hit a club in Manhattan in ages even though I'm down there five or six times a year. I can't even comprehend a $30 cover charge.....

yoda57us
03-18-2006, 06:12 PM
I'm thoroughly green with envy JZ. You got to ride shotgun with my new favorite retired Russian dancer. :highfive:

The clubs in Austin must be empty, all of the visiting junkies are opting for the Kat experience.;)

GenWar
03-19-2006, 12:19 AM
Gen, DUDE! Don't eeeeven tell me you where in NYC yesterday! I was working in Manhattan for the last two days!

I haven't hit a club in Manhattan in ages even though I'm down there five or six times a year. I can't even comprehend a $30 cover charge.....

Yeah, I was there. Fancy that, small world.

Ended up partying in NYC for St. Patrick's day. (I'm irish by marriage.) Started drinking by three and by 7, I was wandering the streets randomly shouting "Puerto Rico! hoooo!" because the energy of the town reminded me of my visit to the Puerto Rican pride day parade in June of 03. By 10, I end up with a buddy who is active duty Army and just back from Saddam's sand land. He offers me a place to crash and out of gratitude and a need to contribute to the country's efforts overseas, I offer to buy him a lap dance. We hit the atm and I am prepared to choke on the $60 cover. On the way towards the club, I am approached by a housing-challenged individual. I usually ignore them but I am very drunk. Even drunk, I won't do a handout but he inquires as to our plans. I point out the club and he offers to give me free cover passes. Too drunk to see the problem with this, I agree and he gives me 2 passes. I slip him a $20 in gratitude and then remember to threaten him if they don't work. Well, my buddy gets in for free because he is in uniform. But the pass works for me. Long story short, there are ways around the cover :)

Wish I had known you were there, Yoda. We could have at least challenged the potency of our blood pressure meds with a couple of red bull/vodkas. Course the guys I was partying with early in the evening were gay. You know you are drunk when you love everything about the bar from music, to drink prices to beautiful people and it only dawns on you sometime later that there isn't a single woman in the place. I'm told Greenwich Village is just like that *shrug*;) You drink enough and it's all good.

-gen

yoda57us
03-20-2006, 06:56 AM
LOL, I'm a boring drinking buddy Gen. Strip clubs are strictly a sober/reality based experience for me. I'd make a great designated driver if it wasn't for the fact that I always go alone....

Susan Wayward
03-20-2006, 06:04 PM
I would make an excellent designated driver (and cigar girl) for GW. All he'd have to do would be buy me ten or twelve dances from assorted hotties.

GenWar
03-20-2006, 08:03 PM
I would make an excellent designated driver (and cigar girl) for GW. All he'd have to do would be buy me ten or twelve dances from assorted hotties.

Talk about an offer you can't refuse }:D .

-gen

Katrine
03-20-2006, 10:56 PM
Monday, March 20. The Palazi-ho.

First note: JZ, thanks for the TR, its nice to let the other imagine what REALLY happened, hehe....

Second note: Susan, you should have come out, you missed some top-notch drama.

I'm having a crap day at work, might be out 4 large on a small yet complicated deal that shouldn't be causing me grief. The girls invite me for sushi and saki bombs at Umi down south. Resistance is futile. L is my old business partner, former stripper.

N is a current stripper, built like a model, loooong light brown straight hair and the perkiest B's in god's creation.

L has sold N a beautiful long 3 strand freshwater pearl necklace that she has latched onto the belt loops of her capri jeans. This style is one of our original jewelry designs and very hot, especially on the right long legs.

N has been seeing the dealerboy that broke my heart last summer. No suprise, he is running the same game on her. Hence we are bonding, although the bond is my excuse to get between her thighs. This chick is so smokin, she's EVERYBODY's type. So we bond over hot roll and saki chased with Sapporo. N wants to meet her girls at the club, so L and I begrudgingly get dragged along as a reminder of our past, hehehe.... ;D

We get snuck in through the back door immediately into VIP. Within about $5 minutes I've spent $50 on drinks and have tried to pimp out my girls to a guy sitting at the bar ignoring the dancers claiming HE gets paid to fuck. He asks me if I like thick cocks or long cocks. I reply "both!" and he is instantly thrown off his game, unable to answer. Fucking rookie. I'm not on the clock, no one gets answers they want to hear.

We're all catching up with dancers we' ve known from around the ATX when this lovely Braziliam offers me $40 for one dance with her guy friend. I decline and offer them a juicy buff implanted blonde instead. Another blonde and a snake-like latina have caught my eye on Support Hose stage 2 and Support Hose stage 3. Support Ho 2 has been dancing for 3 days and has
Marilyn Monrow piercing above her lip. She moves a bit too well for an amateur. We chat and I invite her to VIP. For the record, Palazi-ho VIP is just a room in the back where everyone ignores the smoking ordinance, nothing to rave about.

I am waiting for Pandemonio Santanico (the latina Support Ho 3) to come closer when the shit hits the fan. This young blonde that I worked with at the P10 is dancing for the Brazilian girl. Both of their shirts are off yet both of them have been in their street clothes the entire time. Suddenly I see a burning cigarette nuzzling into youngblonde's lower back tramp stamp. She is unaware, blissfully feeding off of the garota's bountiful bags of saline delight. To my right, N jumps up, the beautiful freshwater pearls and czech glass beads lambasted all over the floor. Before the lit cigarette landed in youngblonde's back, it had hit N and burned the clasp off of her brand new $200 necklace. It is destroyed.

N and L and a waitress with a flashlight are all over the floor collecting the beads into a plastic cup usually used to collect cigarette ashes since ashtrays are no longer allowed. I hear someone scream, "he threw a lit cigarette at her!"

I look over and a smarmy little kid is sitting in the corner acting coy. I asked him if he just threw a lit cig at youngblonde.

Him: "yeah, what's it fucking to you!"

Me: "you just broke my friends $200 brand new necklace"

Him: "oh shit, I meant to burn my girlfriend."

Me: "so you're jealous of your girlfriend giving another girl a lapdance (added under my breath, needledick!) Why would you do something like that (pretending to be shocked and hurt).

Him: "Oh man, I'm sorry, I'll pay for the necklace!"

So I tell N to talk to the kid, that he's going to to take care of her. She goes over and is back in less than 10 seconds. He was talking shit of course.

Me: "Bitch, you better step your ass up NOW!"

I see manager Bishop, and the most useless manager on earth, Dave Fury, standing in the corner chatting with their thumbs up their asses..I run over and yell "Bishop, we need some help over here!" Of course, as soon as I see this happened, NeedleDick is walking out trying to escape. I yell "HEY" at the top of my lungs and the idiot stops and turns around long enough for Bishop to go after him. Dave Fury is still standing there combing his ponytail so I tell him that this kid owes N money and to help.

So.......... of course N never got her money. Apparently Dave Fury, the ponytail wonderboy of the short-bus circuit, doesn't like her because she won't fuck him. I'd had enough drama and not a single lapdance. I drove through Taco Bell and am now sitting her recanting my tale......

Dammit...I really wanted some slithery Salma Hayek-esque action from Santanico Pandemonio (Support Ho 3) and a chance to break in the new blonde...next time, next time. So, which junkie is coming to Austin next???? }:D

lunchbox
03-20-2006, 11:28 PM
So, which junkie is coming to Austin next???? }:D
Last weekend of April, I'm going on a bender. You should come down }:D

SeppeSai
03-21-2006, 07:24 AM
Kat is like my ATF. They both should have their own reality shows just so TRs like that can be preserved in pristine digital quality.

yoda57us
03-21-2006, 08:26 AM
Dammit...I really wanted some slithery Salma Hayek-esque action from Santanico Pandemonio (Support Ho 3) and a chance to break in the new blonde...next time, next time. So, which junkie is coming to Austin next???? }:D

I'm in Houston in June Kat. I'll rent a freaking ride and drive to Austin. I've decided that my life won't be complete until I buy you an LD or two or ten from Support Ho 3....I'll need to observe of course}:D

lunchbox
03-21-2006, 01:33 PM
I'm in Houston in June Kat.
Briana Banks will be at Sugar's June 2 and 3.

yoda57us
03-21-2006, 01:54 PM
I know I'm gonna regret asking this but who is Briana Banks?

lunchbox
03-21-2006, 02:39 PM
A very talented pornstar, anal pounding to deepthroating, she is a champ.

http://www.freeones.com/html/b_links/Briana_Banks/

Katrine
03-21-2006, 09:00 PM
I met Brianna Banks last fall, we worked together. Well, I was dancing at a club where she was featuring. She doesn't look nearly as hot in person. I have a photo with her on my MySpace page. She attacked me during her stage set and pulled me up on stage with her. She wanted to get together and fool around later but I got too smashed by the end of the night and forgot, so I went elswhere.....

Katrine
03-21-2006, 09:02 PM
A very talented pornstar, anal pounding to deepthroating, she is a champ.

http://www.freeones.com/html/b_links/Briana_Banks/

I just realized she looks just like a nurse friend of mine from Siberia who I've been having a flirtation thing with lately..gulp....

yoda57us
03-22-2006, 06:24 AM
No offense to anyone who likes them but I wouldn't walk across the street to see a porn star dance much less drive to a club and pay a jacked-up cover charge. What she's done to guys on video tape has nothing to do with her ability to titilate me in a strip club. It's a great draw (supposedly) and in theory, it brings in more guys for the house dancers to market themselves to (again, good or bad depending on who you ask) but that's about all they are good for.

I actually turned down a chance to spend an hour with a pornstar turned escort the other day for half price as part of a "secret shopper" program with an incall agency that I use.

I guess that pretty much sums up my feelings on porn stars though I can certainly understand why they would want to party with Kat;)

Docido
03-22-2006, 08:01 AM
In my experience the house dancers don't particularly like them either. All the attention is focused on the feature, plus the type of clientele a feature attracts usually don’t buy privates.

yoda57us
03-22-2006, 08:36 AM
In my experience the house dancers don't particularly like them either. All the attention is focused on the feature, plus the type of clientele a feature attracts usually don’t buy privates.

That's the experience of most of the dancers I know as well. A lot of them work earlier in the week and take the weekend off when a feature is coming to their club. Porn star guys will pay a high cover and pose for pictures with their video wet dream but the don't usually buy dances. The guys who do know it's gonna be customer amatuer night and stay away.

Rip
03-22-2006, 10:25 AM
Chez Paree, SF

After a long & sorrowful dry spell, I finally got enuf scratch together for a small return to the scene. I'd heard good things about Chez Paree, but it had closed! It opened again briefly & I checked it out once, but then it closed again. Someone else bought it & they're starting it up again.

I got there really early (7pm or so) Saturday (my discount card gets me in free before 8pm). I only saw one girl there (Miss S.), & she was molesting some guy on the couch; the stage was empty. It turned out that K. was also there, but she was in a booth or the dressing room @ the time. There were one or two other guys there. It's not a pretty place; lots of concrete, mirrors on the walls & behind the stage, a bedsheet stretched down one wall on which they projected porno movies.

Miss S. climbed on stage -- a very cheery, extroverted Asian, not a great looker or dancer but sweet & friendly. I bellied up to the tiprail, & she came over, came down off the stage, grabbed my hands, & started plastering them on her front. I protested that my hands were still cold, & without batting an eye she said, "I like it!" -- a real pro. So I felt her up. As more girls came in I found out that it's a high-contact stage -- dancers often climb down into our laps & encourage us to get handsy. There were about half a dozen when I left a little before eleven; it was a really slow night. Miss S. was busy on a side couch w/ another guy; finally I decided to buy a dance from her, but she was on her way out -- she said she'd give me a dance ($20 couch dance), but when she did, she didn't even take off her jeans!! Bad timing on my part -- chalk it up to my quota of dumb misteaks.

Then K. came out. She was the only caucasian, absolutely gorgeous, but we didn't hit it off well @ all on the stage. She came over, grabbed my collar & pulled me (rather gently) toward her & said, "Are you gonna take care of me?" I was a bit taken aback but said, "Of course!" & anted up a dollar. She acted as if I had insulted her -- in a later set she actually left $1 on the stage & wouldn't even turn around when I picked it up & waved it @ her. She disappeared after that.

A couple more overweight & not-too-good-looking black girls danced, I let 'em climb on me a bit but didn't go downstairs (or even to the couches). One of 'em was so scary that after that I actually walked *awaY* from the stage when she was up.

Then S. (not Miss S., who had left) came out -- skinny, flat-chested, & not that cute -- but I wuz gonna give everyone @ least one chance to show me their stuff, & @ the first hint of green she came over, leaned back in my lap putting her cheek by mine, & gave out a few little moans. Ah. My kinda girl. I placed a bit more green on the stage to encourage this behaviour, & bye-and-bye she came back, climbed down into my lap again, & squirmed & moaned & all that good stuff, so once again I scattered some green, & once again she gave a six-bar lap dance. Clearly we had an understanding.

I was in no hurry to blow my meager wad, but nothing else exciting was going on, so fairly soon S. had finagled me over to the couch, the better to discuss things. I bought a couch dance from her ($20) & she gave me a really good gfe lite -- didn't jump off my lap as soon as the last song was over, & handed me a great line of SS: I smell really good, I have nice hands. She kept backing it up w/ contact, so I didn't complain. She's cultivating me. She tried to talk me into going downstairs -- she said she could tell me things there that she couldn't upstairs (causing me to suspect that "extras" were pretty standard fare @ that place). In fact my next visit confirmed that the place is actually a whorehouse -- hardly surprising given its location on the downtown edge of the Tenderloin. I split, liking S. enough to come back. Stay tuned.

Docido
03-22-2006, 03:38 PM
I’ve been to the ninth circle of strip club hell and have lived to tell the tale.

The first club I visited is located in a converted garage. On the outside the owners have strung up some lights in a vain attempt to make the place look “festive” or “fun.” It hasn't worked. On the inside this place is dark…dark ….dark with only a few feeble beer signs illuminating the murk. Once my eyes had adjusted to the gloom, I noticed that there was only one dancer on stage. She looked tired, jaded, and twirled around the pole with that thousand yard stripper stare. You know the one that says, “no one’s spending and I’d rather be anywhere else than here.” She was skinny, even waifish, not my usual type. But out of some misguided sense of sympathy, I went up to the stage and sat at the rail. She turned, sashayed over my way, and pulled her garter aside for the tip. Everything seemed fine until she smiled. That’s when I noticed that she was missing approximately a quarter of her teeth. Now, in my part of the woods, skinny, missing teeth, usually equals addict. I have very few clubbing rules, but let’s just say that people who cook crystal meth in their spare time don’t often get my business. I gave her the dollar tip, got up from the rail, paid for my over priced-beer and then left. Strike one for this PL!!

Club number two was more up-scale, with décor that wouldn’t be totally out of place on the Home Improvement Channel. It also has decent lighting, so for once; I didn’t feel like I was descending into the depths of a coal mine.
Inside the club there were about five dancers working the afternoon shift. All of them had their teeth, so immediately things were looking up. What they didn’t have was any clue about how to make someone feel like they were more than a walking ATM. I wasn’t sitting more than several minutes before a dancer plopped herself down in an adjacent seat. Immediately, she began talking about her overdue bills, car insurance, etc…. etc…. etc……then sprang the “wanna do a private” routine. Just a word of advice for any dancer that happens to be reading this, complaining about your overdue bills isn’t the best way to go about building a business relationship. So strike two!!

The third club tonight was where I had my little adventure with sharpie girl. She’s long gone, but the club is still the same dank hole. I saunter in and grab a beer, then sit down at the bar to survey the sights. Again, it’s not more than several minutes before one of the mixers comes over. “Hi, my name is ……..wanna buy a girl a drink?” I look up and see a woman, late thirties to early forties, with glazed vacant eyes, and a severely pockmarked complexion. I shake my head and tell her, “No not tonight.” She shrugs her shoulders in a manner that says she’s used to rejection. Maybe I’m getting too soft-hearted for this, but I almost feel at fault. I nurse my beer, not seeing anyone that strikes my fancy, but then – she’s back!! “Hi, my name is …….. wanna buy a girl a drink?” It’s the same woman that tried the drink hustle before. Evidently she completely forgot about approaching me earlier. Now I’ve gone from annoyance to depression in record time, because here was someone so mentally damaged, their short-term memory was gone. At this point I certainly didn’t want to buy her any drinks, but I did want to get her to the nearest mental health clinic. So strike three and I left for the night.

My last several trips have been complete and utter disasters. Part of the problem is that many of my old favorites; women who were smart, witty, beautiful, knew this job, and did it well, are gone. In their place I’ve found nothing but addicts, ROBs, and the living dead. This is supposed to be fun, a way for me to forget about the real world for a few hours. But instead it’s becoming an ordeal. Maybe this is karma’s way of telling me it’s time to move on.

ld_for_b
03-22-2006, 08:53 PM
I met Brianna Banks last fall, we worked together. Well, I was dancing at a club where she was featuring. She doesn't look nearly as hot in person. I have a photo with her on my MySpace page.

Katrine,

Would you be so kind as to point me to your MySpace page? I know its been mentioned before, but I only have a limited time for this kind of browsing and haven't been able to find it.

Thank you

SportsWriter2
03-22-2006, 09:20 PM
She was skinny, even waifish, not my usual type. But out of some misguided sense of sympathy, I went up to the stage and sat at the rail. She turned, sashayed over my way, and pulled her garter aside for the tip. Everything seemed fine until she smiled. That’s when I noticed that she was missing approximately a quarter of her teeth. Now, in my part of the woods, skinny, missing teeth, usually equals addict.
Crack, crystal meth and bulemia will destroy your teeth. Scary when you see them slip sliding away over several months. :-\

Docido
03-22-2006, 09:38 PM
Crack, crystal meth and bulemia will destroy your teeth. Scary when you see them slip sliding away over several months. :-\

Sadly, this seems like it's happening more and more. You just want to grab them by the shoulders and shout - "Stop it!" "Stop it!" “You’re killing yourself." But if there's one thing I've learned, you can't always keep other people from self-destructing. :'(

Richard_Head
03-23-2006, 10:33 PM
PART I (Sunday March 19, 2006)
So about a month ago various members of my family (mother, brother, sister-in-law, brother-in-law) decided that it was time for a family get together, we decided on where other than Las Vegas, NV for our little rendevous. Vegas with my family didn't sound that appealing but WTF, it's Vegas right? Any excuse that gets me to Vegas is alright by me. I figured that it would be a tame trip as their idea of a good time in Vegas is to get up at the crack of dawn, fill up at a buffet, walk from one end of the strip to the other, then retire nice and early so that they can repeat the same the next day, fun group they are huh? So I was off at the crack of dawn on Sunday morning for the 5-6 hour drive (we went from Sunday-Tuesday to take advantage of the lower rates on those days). As I'm pulling into Vegas I had to chuckle at the "$2 BJ" sign at the first casino I pass, you gotta love Vegas, yes I know the BJ stood for Black Jack, still it was funny none-the-less.

Things went pretty much as I had expected they would and by 9:30pm they were all ready to turn in, BINGO, that was my chance to sneak away for some fun, I told them I'd be gambling and disappeared, almost immediately heading over to the Spearmint Rhino. $20 cover, $7 beer, not nearly the crowd that they get on the weekends (but it was still early), still plenty of seating, things were looking good (well except for the fact that I just paid $20 cover and $7 for a beer).

Almost immediately a striking blonde was on my lap, it was a Russian girl, unfortunately not the same one as I had met on my previous visit, but still very attractive, she must have been about 5"7" or so, very nicely toned, she was wearing a white thong/bra and a small little white skirt. My opinion of Russian girls is quickly improving as I have met several recently that I have had a really great time with. Seeing as I didn't want to stay out too late, and not seeing anyone else in my quick glance around the room that I'd rather spend some time with I agreed to a dance, then another, she of course wanted to move things to the VIP room at this point and I was too weak to resist so off we went, we found a corner spot and settled in for the half hour deal, the dances were very good, lots of mutual contact (all with her encouragement), she wasn't real talkative but that was fine as I was enjoying the dances just fine without the small talk. When our time was up I headed back out to the main room.

The place had filled up some at this point but it was still manageable, I decided against taking a seat as I wanted to remain mobile, I circled around the room a bit checking out the talent then finally settled in for a bit near the DJ stand. The fact that you don't have a seat doesn't bother the girls here as I had to fend off several dancers I wasn't interested in before a striking brunette sauntered on over, holy shit this girl was hot, maybe 5'4", thin but curvy, really well done c cups, long brunette hair, she was wearing a very tight little form fitting purple dress, turns out she's half mexican, half asian (Phillipino I think?), it was quite a combination, she had a pleasant personality to boot, she's from Philly, she flies in to dance whenever possible, when she mentioned dances I was all over it, one on the main floor then again off to the VIP for a half hour session. This time we were seated in a somewhat tight fitting spot with a wall maybe 3 feet in front of us, it was a tight fit but it had it's advantages, for one it provided for a nice bit of privacy as it for the most part blocked any sight the bouncer had of us, for another she was able to get some incredible leverage by bracing her legs against the wall while she was grinding away, and grind she did. We took a few breaks along the way to talk and drink, I was really enjoying myself. When the half hour was up she said she'd really love to spend more time with me and suggested another half hour, she was good at the SS and I decided to suspend belief for yet another half hour of time with her. It was more of the same, lots of grinding, lots of touching, even some hair pulling (that she suggested), I was smitten. Towards the end of our time we discussed my next visit to town (tentatively the end of April) and she said that she should be back in town at that time and gave me her number so we could arrange another meeting (in the club). When we were done I emptied my wallet to pay her (with a nice tip included) and she noticed that I was without cab fare to get back to the hotel, I told her that I'd hit the ATM on my way out but she told me that it'd cost me a $20 ATM fee (their ATM's have a $20 fee!) and insisted that I take some of the tip money back instead, I thought that was very sweet of her and it was very much appreciated (and I took it). Damn I love Vegas.

CalifSCVisitor65
03-23-2006, 10:49 PM
Nice report RH. Major SS with the giving $$ back sh*&.

BTW I didn't realize that you were a SR fan. I thought you were more a CH fan.

Rip
03-25-2006, 11:51 AM
Well, even tho' my first trip wuz rather lean, Miss S. showed enuf promise -- and S. had delivered enuf GFE lite -- to bring me back two weeks later, w/ a slightly larger bankroll (still paltry by most people's standards, but po' folk need fun too). Miss S., alas, was not there; K. (the stunning but neurotically aloof Caucasian) was onstage when I walked in, so I decided to up the ante a little & see how she reacted. $2 hit the stage before I hit my seat, & she gave me v. nice eye contact-smile from the other end of the stage -- very pro -- & eventually came over & gave me a fairly decent feel. Then she turned it off like a light switch -- I plopped some more green on the stage, & she crawled by me close enuf to give me a pretty good look but acted like I didn't exist. When her set ended she just walked offstage, put on a fur coat (well, we were having a cold spell), & sat in the back talking to a bouncer. There were mebbe 3 or 4 custies, about as many girls.

There was one new girl who just didn't appeal to me; another (H.), mid-20s, nice figure, wore full-length mesh pants that certainly got in the way & wasn't very enthusiastic. When she got offstage she dressed about a foot away from me (I had moved back from the stage onto a couch by the wall, & there are mirrors almost everywhere in that joint) -- took her sweet time adjusting everything & gave me quite a nice show, even managing to keep one leg in contact w/ my knee most of the time. If I'd had money to burn I woulda grabbed her, but instead I just tipped her $1. Later she made a half-hearted attempt to chat me up @ a table, but it didn't go anywhere.

A while later I noticed S. sitting @ a table; she seemed to be watching the show & gave no sign of noticing me, so I just waited. After a while I walked over, & she said, "Not talkin', huh?" (!) I said, "Yeah, I'm talkin'," sat down, & we proceded to renew our acquaintance. She seemed a bit distant (unsure if I still wanted her?) -- I asked here where the other girls were, & she told me most of them were in the dressing room pouting 'cuz there were no guys & started pitching me to go downstairs. I told her I'm not that fast; she told me she was worried that some other girl would take me away from her. I hadn't seen anyone more promising; I just said, "She'd have to be really good to take me away from you." I still wanted to see who else came onstage, so we waited through another couple of sets. They turned out to be reruns of the same mediocre-looking & -dancing girls, so I said, "Let's go downstairs," & off we went.

As I had suspected, the place is mainly a whorehouse: the booths are big enough to lie down in. It's not a bad deal for the girls: $20 booth fee, no time limit! -- a low-overhead place to turn tricks. She charged me $60 for 3 songs nekkid (a bit steep, but we were cultivating ea. other). I wuz a bit disappointed @ the mileage. She started pitching me for extras (actually nibbled my crotch a bit just to make sure I got the point), & after the 3 songs she pulled a comdom out of her purse & quoted me $80 BJ, $100 FS. I declined. Back upstairs to see who was onstage.

Back @ the tiprail I saw dark brown skin & such a skinny butt that I thot S. had teleported herself back up there, but it turned out to be a new girl (P.) pretty young but not bashful: @ the first hint of green she came over, sat down in front of me, & pulled my face down into her crotch: "Do you like that?" Well, I liked it enuf to augment the greenery a bit, & she responded by boobing me, climbing on me, & doing what dancers do when they smell money. After her set she decided she was gonna get whatever S. hadn't gotten outta me & started dragging me downstairs: "I wanna talk to you!" Apparently the club has a rule against pitching extras upstairs -- gives the management "plausible deniability:" "What!? Prostitution in my club? I had no idea. . . "

It got pretty funny. S. was so Hell-bent on getting me downstairs that she tried to drag me down there for a "tour;" but one of the bouncers came running after us & stopped us halfway down the stairs: "No 'tours,' baby, twenty bucks if ya wanna take him there." By this time I wuz almost laughing out loud; the comic relief was exceeding the sex appeal. I told her I'd spring for a couch dance ($20, 50% to the house). She was determined, so she said, "Nah, let's go downstairs -- just cover the room fee & I'll give you four songs." Well, that did it, so back downstairs.

Of course, she expected to loosen my wallet further in the booth ("Gimme another $20 so I can get naughtier w/ you"), but there were limits to what she was gonna give away on a four-song freebie, so she didn't peel (although she did pull down her top a fair amount to let me inspect the goods, & talked me into taking off my shirt -- not that difficult!) But she ultimately climbed the stairs a disappointed girl. A deal's a deal -- I enjoyed it. Back to the tiprail.

By now, of course, the other girls had seen that w/ enuf work they might get some action outta me, so they started trying harder. S. had gone back onstage, so I encouraged her to get a little extra exercise climbing on & off my lap; she encouraged me to get a little extra practice finding my pocket & papering the stage with green. L. L., who had been working me off & on since I got there, started catching on & joined her; they took turns, having apparently decided that competing over me wasn't working. So I got fairly decent mileage. We continued thus until they cleaned me out; I congratulated them on a job well done & departed. I got work #s for both S. & P. (I doubt if I'll call them, but ya never know -- plus the girls are the ones who know what's happening on the scene).

Well, I'm just about ready to give up on Chez Paree; the one good-looking girl there is so neurotic that I'm unwilling to throw any more money @ her, the management seems clueless (they haven't bothered to replenish their stock of discount cards, & for a $20 cover they need to do better -- they're competing against Mkt St. Cinema, LA Gals, Crazy Horse, etc. w/in a few blocks). Most of the girls are moping around like jilted debutantes (not that I blame them, but still, it's a downer), & although S. & P. have the right attitude, I can call them if I feel the urge. Warmer weather wd prolly help: I suspicion lots of girls are sulking in the dressing room just 'cuz it's pretty cold to be walking around in their underwear upstairs. Still, if they want guys to come in, they just gotta grit their teeth & strut their stuff, even if they're shivering.

I will wait a while & prolly give it one more try (if it doesn't close before I get a round tuit). S. says she's thinkin' about dancing @ Little Darlings (N. Beach) -- a higher-toned place, she'll be up against much better lookers, & they prolly won't let her get away w/ being so friendly @ the tiprail -- but her gfe skills will stand her in good stead.

Susan Wayward
03-25-2006, 01:59 PM
^^^ hey look, a trip report in the style of Lester Bangs.

FBR
03-25-2006, 02:15 PM
Im a retard...I had to Google who the hell Lester Bangs is.

FBR

Susan Wayward
03-25-2006, 10:59 PM
Yr not a retard, FBR, yr just straight, daddy-o.

Rip
03-26-2006, 02:18 PM
^^^ hey look, a trip report in the style of Lester Bangs.

-- Hmmm. . . Dunno whether to take that as a compliment or not. . . but thanks, Susan.

Mebbe I shd try for Mickey Spillane:

"She spied the green & lurched toward me as the music blared & squawked from the peeling speakers, tottering on six-inch heels attached to several pounds of wicked-looking Plexiglass (R). Dangerous. I sat transfixed as the DJ mumbled something about sexy ladies in a voice so tired it seemed to fall on the floor in a heap. A couple of the other girls, sensing something was up, put down their nail files and glared sullenly in my direction. Will she score? It had been a long, lean night, and their purses were aching pits of emptiness. Are *all* the guys in this town gay? The lightweight fuckoes from earlier were long gone, sucked dry & blown away like used rubbers.

"The dancer -- 'Bambi' -- knew what she had to do. Trembling slightly but drawn by the fateful lure of green -- so little but oh, so sweet -- she approached on cruel demipointe, her alignment forgotten, her Seductive Smile #3b slipping down her face like an ill-fitted toupe. I watched warily, still nervous about those shoes but caught like a deer in the headlights of a demented backhoe on crank (she *did* eventually catch me in her headlights, but I'm getting ahead of the story). The DJ's voice crawled the last ten feet to my chair and collapsed, quivering in exhaustion.

"Bambi calculated the percentages effortlessly -- what was on the stage wouldn't even cover her hair spray. Her kid needed braces, & her bf had ruined two of her best outfits auditioning for Tranny Nite. She knew she was gonna have to put out. How to work me? She crawled over to scope me out. Hmm. Needs a haircut (I'm 'between barbers' right now, have to do the best I can w/ beauty school students, & the last one either didn't like me or is *way* behind on her homework). Bambi's other eye scanned the room in search of other (male) life. No dice. Will this song never end? Did that asshole bribe the DJ to stretch 'em out? Is that money in his pocket or is he just happy to see me?

"I sat erect in my chair. Years of pervdom had sharpened my senses, & I could see that she was hooked. I relaxed slightly, managed a weak smile. She prolly wouldn't hurt me too badly with those shoes until she had sounded my pockets more thoroughly. The music writhed & limped in the sodden air; Bambi's nostrils flared with the scent of greenery and she smiled, the smile of a cat contemplating her next canary. We locked eyes and threw away the key.

"Light smashed into the disco ball & splattered across the walls like Tutti Frutti in heat. Bambi sat down on the edge of the stage and spread her legs, surrendering to the primordial urge to suck money out of me. I gaze on her flesh, vague stirrings of lust flicker through me like blind lemurs in ballet class. The DJ's voice struggled gamely to climb into the seat, but Bambi got there first. Women whose legs are bigger than mine always make me nervous, but @ least those shoes were nowhere near my face or crotch. Her flesh bore the ghostly marks of years of PLs' paws & baby wipes as she settled into my lap with the practiced air of a cowhand milking her prize bull. She grabbed my collar (damn! I just ironed that shirt!) and pulled me toward her, her lips parted.

"Got any gum, baby?"

. . . to be continued??

Rip

SportsWriter2
03-26-2006, 03:31 PM
. . . to be continued??

Rip
Can you can do Anne Rice? I want more detail.

FBR
03-26-2006, 03:49 PM
RIP your tongue in cheek post was actually more to my personal liking from the standpoint of your use of grammar. You did say "prolly" once or twice instead of "probably" but thats OK LOL

Seriously, the crowd here is well educated with an excellent grasp of spelling and sentence structure. Most members can do the mental shift and separate their written reports from how they might text message a friend where brevity is all important. But here expectations are high and concise, well written reports are appreciated and complimented.

Having said that, however, continue to post how you want. The site rules clearly state that we're not allowed to criticize anyone for their grammar. So I wasnt criticizing.

FBR

Richard_Head
03-26-2006, 04:17 PM
PART II (Monday March 20, 2006) - Crazy Horse Too, Las Vegas, NV

Pardon the interruption, being that my last TR was part I of my Vegas trip there is obviously a part II. I was still in Vegas on monday, it was much like my sunday in Vegas, again everyone tired out and settled in early, well everyone but me, I was off to gamble, at least that's what I told them, instead I was off to the Crazy Horse Too. I got there about 10pm, $20 cover charge here too, $8 for a beer (WTF?), I found the place to be fairly quiet. There must have be a dozen or so customers, maybe 15 or so dancers there (that I could see anyways).

I grabbed a seat at a table by the bar, it didn't take long for the ladies to start with the hustle, nobody was really impressing me much though so I decided to remain patient. I did notice a table of dancers across the room, there appeared to be a couple of prospects there but they didn't seem to interested in hustling at this point as they were just chatting away, and chatting away some more, and then yet some more. Hmmm, interesting work ethic. Finally I noticed a couple of them get up from the table, one was a slender brunette with a very nicely toned body, target sighted. Much to my chagrin they head right to the dressing room, when they emerged I was happy to see them heading in my direction, I made eye contact, but sure enough an univited blonde plants herself in my lap right as the brunette was passing by, I gave the brunette a "Save Me" look but to no avail as she continued on back to her table to join her friends once again. I dispatched the blonde in no time.

A tall slender blonde stopped by at this point, she was fairly attractive but damn the lack of enthusiasm in her voice about put me to sleep, seeing that she was very attractive I decided to try a dance anyways, not surprisingly that dance also lacked any sense of energy and I only got 1. The brunette and her friends were still sitting at their table at this point, they must have been there a good hour now just sitting and chatting away. I fought off a few more girls before another blonde sat down (uninvited again), she was pleasant enough to talk to, not really my type though, still I got a dance from her, it was okay, nothing spectacular though.

Finally I notice the brunette and another girl get up from their table to start working the room (about time), when they got close I signalled for the brunette to come on over which she did. She was very personable, her body was everything I look for, slender, toned, curvy, great ass, great legs, great abs. We decided on the half hour VIP room, the dances were honestly a bit disappointing, her personality seemed to click into cruise mood and her dances were, well very, how do I say it, defensive I guess, it's hard to explain, she was a real master of keeping her body close, she gave a good grind, yet at all times seemingly she was out of reach or positioned just so that you really couldn't do much more than touch her on the hips or back. She should give lessons to some of the more squeemish girls. After we were finished she told me what a gentleman I was, said she wished more guys were like me and told me it was much appreciated. LOL, I didn't know what to think of that, I guess it's a compliment, I would have prefered things being a bit more interactive though.

Back to the main room I went. The place had filled up considerably by this point and I grabbed a seat at the bar. I scanned the room hoping to find someone else who would pique my interest. I noticed a couple of asian girls at the end of the bar but couldn't get a real good look at either. I just watched the stage for about awhile at this point and the thought of heading out had occured to me, then I notice one of the asians at the bar get up from her spot and head to the stage, hot damn she was good looking, long dark hair, tanned skin, firm little body, she was wearing a tight little turquoise colored dress, I needed a closer look and moved stage side. She looked even better up close, especially when she stripped down to her little white thong. There were a few other people up there but not many, I pulled a couple of dollars out to tip her, I noticed her look over, she didn't come right on over though, she was working the other guys first, towards the end of the song though she made her way over to me and gave me a nice smile and said "you were at the bar earlier weren't you", I told her that I had been and she asked if I wanted her to dance for me when she got off the stage? Yes, very much I told her. Sure enough she stopped right over, she was just a little thing, maybe 5'0" and 100 lbs but damn hot. We then grabbed a spot against the back wall and chatted for a bit, she was incredibly personable and fun to talk to, then the dances started, they were excellent too, very interactive. When she asked if I would like to move it back to the VIP room I nodded in acceptance, dances back there were even more interactive. Good SS too, she told me I had made her night. She was a true triple threat (looks, personality, and mileage) and I will no doubt be looking for her on my next visit.

Damn I love Vegas, I thank God that I did NOT get that job that I interviewed for there late last year though, that town would absolutely break me.

Susan Wayward
03-27-2006, 02:49 AM
Now, see, Rip, I would consider that last one to be more Bukowskian. But I think that we're onto something here. I would like to see more literary reports, less pseudo Forum letters and more, say, Jim Thompson. Or Ross Thomas. And can you imagine a Joycean trip report? I'm counting on you now.

Rip
03-27-2006, 08:50 PM
^^^ hey look, a trip report in the style of Lester Bangs.

-- Actually, Susan, I'm astounded that anyone would accuse me of having any style @ all.

Oh, but I fergot: You're a professional entertainer.

Just can't stop, huh?

Rip

Rip
03-27-2006, 09:28 PM
Can you can do Anne Rice?

-- Sorry, dunno Annne Rice that well.


I want more detail.

-- What kinda detail?

Rip

Richard_Head
03-27-2006, 10:22 PM
Any style you want is fine by me RIP.

Rip
03-28-2006, 02:46 PM
Now, see, Rip, I would consider that last one to be more Bukowskian.

-- I defer to your superior knowledge of English-language lit. I s'poze I'll have to read Bukowski now.


But I think that we're onto something here. I would like to see more literary reports, less pseudo Forum letters and more, say, Jim Thompson. Or Ross Thomas. And can you imagine a Joycean trip report?

-- Well, I can imagine one, but I dunno if I could write one. I do show up faithfully @ the tiprail when a dancer plays "Tales of Brave Ulysses," tho'. But I'm an old Creamhead.

I notice all the authors you mention are male. How abt Dickenson, Plath, or de Beauvoir? Plath especially has potential: "Every custy loves a fasciste -- the Plexiglass (R) heel in the face."

The problem is that I was trained as an academic & then as a radio newsman. Neither genre is well suited to the first-person expository narrative.

The academic approach (educational psychology):

"Research question: Is Chez Paree (SFO) a decent joint?

"Review of literature: Although anecdotal accounts of strip clubs in general are plentiful (e.g., Stevens(2002), SF Weeky 3/27/02, and Wayward (2006a)), few properly controlled studies have been published, and none addressing this specific establishment since the prior owner died. This study attempts to remedy this lack.

"Definitions: a 'stripper' (also 'dancer' or 'girl') is defined as any apparent female who paces and/or crawls back and forth on a raised platform (the 'stage') removing her clothes with the apparent expectation that others present will offer her locally-negotiable currency (US currency in this study) in approximate proportion to the amount of clothing she has removed and/or the closeness of her approach and/or physical contact with the person proffering the currency.

"A 'custy' (also 'PL' or 'john') is defined as anyone who offers acceptable currency to the stripper in apparent appreciation, support, or payment of her stripping. Strippers often also engage in mock courting behavior designed to encourage custies to offer larger units of currency in return for various types of foreplay and/or mating behavior (generally carried out in cramped substructures: 'VIP room' or, in this study, 'downstairs'). This mock courting ('hustling') is also considered stripping behavior.

"Threats to the study: The experimenter's glasses tended to steam up easily, but this did not present a major problem as it was not necessary to read any small print. A more serious threat is the difficulty of constructing valid & reliable protocols for scoring mileage, the response variable of primary interest. It may be possible to reduce the inherent subjectivity of scoring mileage by conducting appropriate measurements of physiological responses, but the attendant equipment would be awkward to transport, and it is likely that typical stripping and/or hustling behavior would move or dislodge the electrodes, causing poor strip-restrip reliability coefficients.

"Procedure: The experimenter entered the establishment ('strip club') at approximately 7:47 pm on a Saturday to minimize the initial outlay of currency (the 'cover'). (Preliminary investigation had identified the establishment as a strip club primarily by the large illuminated sign reading "Live Nude Girls" outside the door.) He seated himself at the edge of the stage and observed an individual engaged in apparent stripping. Initial inspection at a range of approx. 7 meters revealed that the suspected stripper appeared female (had mammaries in the apparent 'D' cup range, wide hips, various pigments applied to her face, especially about the eyes and lips), and was crawling about investigating the small piles of currency on the stage. Four apparent males (not counting the experimenter) were seated by the stage, each attempting to lure the suspected stripper closer with small piles of currency placed in front of him. These appeared to be custies, the natural prey of strippers, so it was tentatively concluded that the target population had been identified.

"In order to confirm this tentative identification, the experimenter placed two of the smallest units of currency on the stage approximately 12 cm. in front of him and regarded the suspected stripper carefully. She clearly found this an appetitive stimulus, signalling her approval by smiling and approaching the experimenter. However, she appeared to suffer from indecision or perhaps neuromotor difficulties, as she stood twitching her pelvis and moving the elastic band attached to her only remaining article of clothing (a small, brightly-colored piece of cloth ('thong' or 'g-string') covering her primary sex characteristic ('pussy')) up and down while gazing at the experimenter. Virtually certain that the subject was indeed a stripper, the experimenter broke the impasse by placing another unit of currency on the stage, certifying his status as a proper PL and his grasp of the prevailing social-economic protocols at strip clubs. The subject broadened her smile and offered a brief review of female reproductive anatomy by momentarily pulling aside her thong, revealing her pussy (prior research has shown that this behavior, known as 'flashing,' is common among strippers and seems to be associated with requests for larger units of currency, although it may also serve to establish a stripper's credentials as an actual female, an issue that is especially in question in San Francisco). Upon seeing a further unit of currency she removed and discarded her thong, then paced and crawled about the stage inspecting the piles of currency associated with the other custies. It was concluded that the target population had been identified and that the experiment could proceed. . . .

[Snip]

"Conclusion: Further research is needed, especially regarding the apparent positive correlation between the offering of larger units of currency and greater mileage. Send your contributions to:

The Institute for Study of Live Nude Girls
PO Box XXX
PL City Ca 696969."

-- But it lacks a certain something, I think. The detail is there, but the narrative never quite gets off the ground. Besides that, getting the proposal past the Institutional Review Board is problematical given the likelihood of encountering members of the Board at venues of interest, leading to further requirements for currency ('hush money').



I'm counting on you now.

-- Okay, Susan -- just remember that if ya wanna count past ten I'll have to take off my shoes. . . well, mebbe eleven, if ya work me hard enuf. . . .

;-) Rip

Docido
03-28-2006, 04:37 PM
I would like to see more literary reports, less pseudo Forum letters and more, say, Jim Thompson. Or Ross Thomas. And can you imagine a Joycean trip report? I'm counting on you now.

Susan, I think that's a great idea. Someone could post a trip report in the style of the Marquis De Sade and call it "The 120 Nights of Houston."

sexysweet
03-30-2006, 06:11 AM
RIP:

"Research question: Is Chez Paree (SFO) a decent joint?

I thought the entire above post was hilarious, gimme more!

Rip
03-30-2006, 10:55 AM
RIP:

"Research question: Is Chez Paree (SFO) a decent joint?

I thought the entire above post was hilarious, gimme more!

-- Thanks, Sexysweet. It's always good to know that someone appreciates the spirit of scientific inquiry. So lemme see. . . that's one vote for Lester Bangs, one for Bukowski (I think), & one for the American Psychological Association. Close race, & I haven't even done the "radio news" TR yet -- tough because so much of the story is visual rather than verbal/auditory. I love challenges, tho' -- help me out, Sexysweet: let's face it, stripping is not new, so it's not news -- gotta come up w/ an angle that @ least sounds fresh. Chez Paree reopened months ago, so it's approaching stale, even tho' this is a slow spell. Mebbe "Old Haunt Tries for New Lease On Life?" Nah. "New Advances In Mileage At the Old Same Place?" Possible, but I'd like to do better. "New Tricks For an Old Doghouse" works for me, but if the girls ever find out who wrote it they might sue (or worse. . . ) If I could sell it as a feature/retrospective I might try "Blonde Bombshell Sulks in Fur Coat As PLs Drool In Vain" or even "Where Are the Johns of Yesteryear?" but editors are funny about these things. Yes, AFAIK "Tranny Nite" is a new wrinkle, but frankly I'm scared -- some of the bruisers I saw billed as 'girls' nearly made me wet my pants in the wrong way (no disrespect, just good old-fashioned fear of being crushed). My editor is awful funny about springing for hazardous duty/combat pay, & my medical-claims adjuster won't count my tips toward my deductible, so I have to be careful. Still, if I can get "Butterfly" to work as a bodyguard for reasonable rates, we might have something.

The Institute For Study of Live Nude Girls (ISLNG) is in a flat part of its funding cycle, so further formal research is on hold. Besides the reticence of the Institutional Review Board to approve more studies, there is confusion about which department will sponsor the Institute: Sociology, Dance, PE, & Criminal Justice all want a piece of the action, especially complimentary admission & dances for "observers" ostensibly to maintain "scientific objectivity" (dammit, that's *my* job!) -- so it might be an interdisciplinary study. It is well known that some strippers administer "discipline" in return for suitable amounts of acceptable currency, but this is regarded as a "specialty" & would raise questions about extrapolating the results to the population of strippers in general. Other potential threats to the interdisciplinary model are the large numbers of sponsorship patches that must be sewn onto my lab coat, complicating the physical contact/frottage phase of the stripping/hustling cycle (central to mileage, the response variable of primary interest, remember?), and possibly leading to significant dermal abrasion of the stripper ("booth rash").

Well, we do the best we can. We'll be back after this word from our sponsor.

Rip

lunchbox
03-31-2006, 08:25 AM
Susan, I think that's a great idea. Someone could post a trip report in the style of the Marquis De Sade and call it "The 120 Nights of Houston."
I would love to help with the research.

afxturnip
04-14-2006, 01:01 PM
Hahahahahaha.

JayZ, I'm sorry to laugh at your misfortunate, but time + tragedy = comedy. I've been there myself more than a few times.

Unbelievable! Her name? Absentia.

-afx

Casual Observer
04-14-2006, 10:05 PM
I go back to my table, and I watch her go from the stage to a table with two other dancers and a guy with a baseball cap on backwards. They all sit there for a while, then my girl goes to the kitchen, comes back to the table.

Sounds like my last trip to the home club. I couldn't give away the money in my pocket and yet they're hanging on the wannabe gangbangers.

yoda57us
04-16-2006, 05:10 PM
Sounds like my last trip to the home club. I couldn't give away the money in my pocket and yet they're hanging on the wannabe gangbangers.

One more reason for my Brazilian preference. They don't hang on anybody that isn't spending and when the spending is done they move on to the next wallet.