View Full Version : A Night at the Office
IACali
04-16-2005, 04:59 PM
Well. I worked a late shift last night, it was my first night working in over a week due to a friend passing away in a car accident earlier this week. I wasn't really in the mood to work, but need the money badly, and it was probably good for me to get out of the house and away from thinking so much, yk?
But of course that means I drank quite a bit. :shy:
Before work, some friends and I hit up a F.A.C. (Friday After Class) house party. None of us are in college anymore, but that didn't stop us!! I ran into an old friend of mine who I hadn't really hung out with in years, so we had a nice time catching up. Mystique and I got into a nice argument with him over the presence of respect in our jobs. He refuses to come see me at work because he "respects me too much and doesn't want to see me naked in that environment." ::) We tried to explain to him that when our friends come to see us, that is actually a way of supporting and validating what we do for a living, and to refuse to come see us is almost an insult. But he didn't get it so we went around and around and around for a while.
A third of a bottle of cuervo and several beers later, Mystique and I left to go to work.
Arrive at work and realize that I don't have any cash on me to pay my house fee. I told the dj that I would pay him after my first set, but he was being a hardass so I sucked it up and bummed the $20 off of Mystique.
I had a few shots at the bar with other dancers and a couple of club regulars, then finally left to get dressed. I put on my brand new red gown - this is so not a gown club, I'm one of the only ones to wear long dresses of any sort, let alone this red gown. We're talking slinky, skin tight, past my ankles length, shiny satiny red. Slit allllll the way up the back, hugs my hips just right so those little horizontal wrinkles show up across my front because it's so tight. Strappy back, and the waist is cut in with half-circles from each side. Horizontal pleats across the bust. Little rhinestone rectangles highlight my breast and my butt cleavages. This dress is smokin', I tell ya. But I was nervous to wear it bc it's soooo out of place in this club.
Oh well. I feel sexy in it, so fuck 'em.
I do my first set to Dido, then work the room a little. I do two private dances for a custy, and have made about $55, then head back to the dressing room to freshen up. I realize that I'm really bored with my hair, it's getting too long and doesn't have any shape. I try to put it up in a twist with a silver clip, but it doesn't look right. I try to leave it down, brushed straight. Yuck. I add some wax to the ends and shape it into a funky shag, don't like it. I pull it back into a low, elegant ponytail. Ugh.
So what do I do? Drunk me? :drunk: I take my scissors, and begin to cut my hair. Yes, seriously. I ended up taking off about five inches all around, and then I proceeded to cut layers into the front. So now my hair's about chin length, and the front is angled up on each side to about nose-level bangs. :dunce:
It actually looks okay. I definitely need to go to a salon and get it trimmed and shaped up a bit, but for the night, for cutting my hair with stripper scissors (typically only used for snipping tampon strings and cutting the lining out of secondhand "street" dresses to make them stripper-worthy) while looking in a mirror in a smoky dressing room and while drunk, I'm pretty pleased. Heh.
So I went back out again, did my second stage set, and did $100 of dances with a regular, Mr. L. Worked the room a little but didn't put too much effort into it. (drunk, remember?)
Halfway through the night, Mystique passes out across two chairs in my dressing room (her spot is in the other room). Well, almost passes out. I finagle a pick-me-up for her, and after one... or two... or three.... she is finally functioning again and manages to finish out the night.
I stayed in my red dress until about midnight, I was liking it so much. Then I changed into a little white romper outfit with silver sequins - it's a tube top that ties in the back, the cutouts on the sides, and a low low bikini bottom with the ruching that makes my butt look so cute. My regular Mr D (a.k.a. Mr foot fetish from previous NATOs and the stoned thread) turns up and after my last stage set we retire to the private area for some dances.
Me, being drunk, strike a deal for after the club. I'm too drunk to drive, so my friend Sassy drives my car home, her boyfriend drives her car home, and Mr D gives Mystique and I a ride to Sassy's house. The deal? I prop my feet up on the dashboard on the ride home and Mystique snaps pics of my toesies with Mr D's digital camera. I charge him $50 for the honor of driving us home and $100 for the pics. Heh. (And Sassy and boyfriend wrote down license number, etc, and were told to call both of our phones repeatedly if we weren't home in 15 minutes, so I took at least minimum precautions).
It all worked out fine and I agreed to meet Mr D for drinks Monday afternoon at a local pub, for an appreciation gratuity of $150. yippees!!
I ended up walking from the club with just shy of $300, typical for the club and the recent weeks and for not hustling very much. Plus my $150 from Mr D in the car.
All in all, a profitable night, me thinks.
Hung out at Sassy's for a while and then Mystique and I went to our friend Bryan's house at 4ish in the morning. Made him get out of bed and play video games with us (I'm a Fight Night addict!!).
Oo, and for some drama at the club gossip, Sassy and her Mr Whipped (previous NATO reference) have had some crazy shit going on. Sass left her shift a little early one night last week to go drive around with Mr Whipped and enjoy some party favors together. She has been extremely clean with Mr Whipped - no extras at ALLLLLLLL, much to his chagrin. Well, when she returned to the club, her boyfriend had shown up to pick her up a little earlier than she was expecting, and he was in the parking lot as Sass and Mr Whipped got out of his vehicle.
Holy schmolies. Boyfriend tried to punch Mr Whipped, Mr Whipped took a swing right back, bouncers came out, etc. Sass was pissed at boyfriend for potentially ruining her future money....
gotta love the drama.
loves
cali
SportsWriter2
04-16-2005, 05:49 PM
SW: Do you honestly think anyone here believes you remember exactly what a dancer said to you back in 1991? And that it just happens to coincide with a NATO report from the same era? As they say in Monty Python, "Go on now, pull the other one."
Read it again, CP. The quote was from May 2001 (in Nic's old club). Nic mentioned PP, so I noted that it meant Planned Parenthood, something guys might not know. I keep a text file journal, so the quote was easy to find. She said it slowly and hesitantly. It haunted me, because she didn't even know my name, and I had not seen her outside the club.
Actually, Nic, after I called him on it, he edited the post to make that change from 1991 to 2001 to make his claim seem more reasonable. All I ask is for something with a semblance of truth to it, ya know?
Read the time record, CP. You posted long after I edited a typo in the quote. Like most users, I accept the SCJ GMT-8 time. I don't even know if you can change that default anymore. For the record, I started talking to dancers in the summer of 1996.
You're giving the guys who actually do go out with dancers a bad name.
Whatever. I don't go out with dancers. I sometimes connect with "girl next door" college students who happen to be dancing. :)
Nicolina
04-16-2005, 06:58 PM
^Yup. I read the post before it was edited and it did say 2001.
Cali, I gotta say....I love your NATOs. They always make me wanna break out the stiletto-heeled platform boots and get back in the SC saddle. :)
SportsWriter2
04-17-2005, 05:41 PM
Cali and Nic, I like the way your NATO reports describe tenuous and spontaneous relationships within the subculture. One can find them in any subculture; read any book by Tracy Kidder, for example. But yours always seem more immediate and real. :)
Moneywise
04-17-2005, 08:48 PM
I'm lovin the JZ/Chili love fest. Rodney King would be proud. ;)
Nice NATOs ladies. It nice to return form a roadie and absorb myself into a couple of juicy NATOs. I hop on the computer before I kick off my shoes. :O
I spent $300 last night in a full nude club in Columbia SC. 10 straight songs. 30 bones each. Afterwards I felt as though I should have given her more..lol
Damn! I'm really slipping into the deep dark abyss of rain. I propositioned her on the sly with no reservations whatsoever. This was after we took the darkest corner of the couch room and practically digitally stirred ground coffee together. I would have easily spent a G on her last night with no questions asked. Her response? "I only dance. That's all." ::)
She did this move where she would flip forward and land with her butt crack in my mouth and her beautiful pussy just inches away from my tongue while standing on her head. That's not fair at all! :O
Katrine
04-18-2005, 01:10 AM
MW!!!!
I thought you weren't going to tell everyone about our session!! ;) ;) ;)
Susan Wayward
04-18-2005, 07:20 AM
She did this move where she would flip forward and land with her butt crack in my mouth and her beautiful pussy just inches away from my tongue while standing on her head. That's not fair at all! :O
That's one trusting stripper for one who just dances.
Moneywise
04-18-2005, 07:47 AM
Susan. We're on the exact same wavelength.
Katrine
04-21-2005, 07:09 PM
Its getting better. 8)
So I worked my first Thursday dayshift. Today is gringo theme day. Lots of cheesy sombreros, tequila specials during spanish music, and a decent enchilada plate for 1.99. :P
I flew into the parking lot after an elationary meeting with my accountant. It appears that I might be able to get some of my tax debt back from those IRS bastids. Unfortunately, the parking lot was looking sparse. We had lots of hotties on dayshift today, including two gems from San Antonio. One of the girl has these long slim legs and zero cellulite anywhere. Since I'm "stubby", that is a great turn-on. Oh, and it also appears that most Austin strippers hate G.W. Bush. Well, no suprise there! Jokes available upon request. :D
I started the day dancing for an arab guy who wanted to pay me $100 for my company at lunch. I rebutted, "$200, and the only thing I'm eating is the food!" Hopefully that took care of him.....
I did a Judas Priest/Scorpions set as I was feeling cock-rockey. :headbange I have a new light blue romper with a rhinestone heart on the butt, and a cutout across most of my stomach, just like this (http://www.candyscostumes.com/BZ/images/850.jpg). :hot:
I nabbed a much older gentleman :geezer: and took him to champagne. During the dance it seemed that he pulled his wang out of his shorts for a minute but I just ignored it. He was a licker too, icky! Anywho, I get down on my knees at the foot of the couch in order to do the throat against crotch hummer move, when my knee lands in something VERY VERY STEEKY. :umbrella:Yup, he had take a moment to jizz all over the floor when I had my back to him and I got it all over my leg. I thanked him and hightailed it over to the dressing room where I sprayed myself down with bleach, LOL! :ill:
Soon after, my favorite regular comes moseying in. He's pretty well-liked at the club, the DJ even announces his name as he walks in. We all love him because he is fascinated with the world of sex work from an observational standpoint. In laymen's terms, he gives me $20's just to hang out. I ate some enchiladas and listened to stories about bank-robbing midget fuckers.:chillpill
As I was going to freshen up, a waitress called me over and said that the General Manager (not working today) requested me to dance for him. WHAT THE FUCK??? I didn't know that management could get dances, they are always very sweet and professional, except the GM, who was very standoffish to me for a while because he didn't know me. So I'm terrified like an employee getting a quarterly evaluation, even though he isn't technically a BOSS boss. I was also afraid that I would give him too much contact and he would get upset and assume that I was performing extras. Well.....the only thing I gave him was some major wood and a big smile on his face...all good in the hood.:bullwhip:
After that I ran into one of the poker playing regulars who is a HUGE drunk. He began drinking at 5am after he got off of work and planned to go until 2am today. At least he has a ride. We did 6 dances and he was so drunk he barely moved. He's a young guy too, and very personable. He also tipped me multiple times at all of my stages after the dances.:drunk:
Before stage, a Messican customer told me he wasn't leaving until I danced for him. We went back into CR, and he immediately began squeezing my boobs like they were stress balls, roughly moving his hand against the grain of my shaved bikini area, and kept begging me to put my hands onto his little pinga. Every ten seconds, he repeated his request, hoping I would miraculously change my mind. I could only take about 2.5 songs. I tried to get him to pay me $60 for my inconvenience, but he started looking for excuses, so I just jetted out of there before I lost my shit.:duck:
The rest of the evening was uneventful. I need to work a nightshift again soon though, our night managers and DJs are kittens, but so are the day staff.
EBT: Exactly $530. Not too shabby ;) Wow, from what I wrote above, one would think I had a crap day, but I left with a smile on my face, geeked out, and bought a new keyboard. This one has stains all over it. :drool:
Just an attention whore note, I have this (http://www.3wishes.com/executiv.asp?engine=adwords%21182&keyword=stripper+wear&match_type=) outfit and it looks HAUTE on me!
GenWar
04-21-2005, 08:23 PM
Wow. This NATO report makes me seriously want to go to a club and spend some money. Luckily, I have a LOT of that planned this weekend ::)
Katrine
04-21-2005, 11:04 PM
When are you coming to Texas? We will care for you like a king!!!
Jenny
06-19-2005, 05:26 PM
Okay, this is not a NATO report (since my last one got so contentious and all) just a funny work story I wanted to share, and I am actually kind of embarrassed to even put in my blog. Just a warning - I am more of a dork than usual in this story. Yes. Even more so. Although (fortunately) I evidently come across as adorable in person. I'm told. And I hope it's true, because really. What a dork. Okay, so most people here realize that I like to talk to my customers. Normally, I keep the conversation somewhat appropriate - light, funny and sort of ... I don't know how to describe it. You really might just have to know me, so let's just go with light and funny. So a guy sits next to me, and I'm at a table, not the bar, so he is almost definitely going to buy a dance from me. So, I don't really feel a lot of pressure, and I chat him up in a kind of leisurely fashion. Somehow - and I must stress, I don't exactly know how this happened, or how we segued into this - I'm telling him about a book I read, but more specifically about a cult. This is a cult led by David Icke that believes that many (if not most) world leaders and many celebrities (including both Bushes, Kris Kristofferson and Brian Mulroney) are giant, blood drinking, shape shifting lizards. Seriously. The pinnacle of the story is a portion of Icke's website that has a link that read something to effect of: "Read the true life accounts of sexual abuse by aliens!". Now (as I said to the guy) once you've read that, you HAVE to click. You can't just pretend you never saw it. So I click, and find (amongst other things) a woman who claimed to have been repeated visiting and (ahem) sexually known by a giant, lizard alien. What made her stand out was that she enjoyed it and felt very close to her alien would-be rapist. The particular line that stands out in my memory is "I realize that this may be very hard for some of the MORE CONSERVATIVE ELEMENTS OF OUR SOCIETY to accept". The more conservative elements of a society of people who believe that they have been sexually assaulted by shapeshifting, blood-drinking lizard aliens (one of which may possibly have been the president of the United States). I don't even want to think about what that is on the right hand of.
So (see, I got sidetracked again!) after this I realize that we have been chatting for a while, so I ask if he wants a dance. He says "Well, I was kind of sold when I sat down, but now that I you've told me about giant blood drinking aliens that sexually assault women, I think we need to go right now."
At this, I actually flop back (we're on one of the bench dealies - you know) with laughter and then lift my head to look at him and say, "I've really GOT to work on this pitch don't I? Because, this (at which I sort of physically indicated our whole interaction until that point) is not a good one at all is it?"
So we danced, he touched me everywhere I don't have a mucous membrane, etc., etc., and he bought several songs, so I obviously didn't alienate (hee) him too badly, he pays me and says that he's out of money because he had no idea that he was going to meet me that night, but he would be back next Tuesday (because at some point I told him I worked sporadically, but I was there most Tuesdays) - and there is a horrible, funny and ridiculous example of the exact right confluence of circumstance in which stories of non-consensual and consensual sex between blood-drinking, shape-shifter alien lizards and humans can in fact make a guy absolutely love you. And, yeah. He probably liked touching me too.
SportsWriter2
06-19-2005, 06:59 PM
Jenny, that was a NATO classic.
There are moments so unique that they can't possibly be fake. I got hooked on a dancer who talked to me about eggplants. :)
Richard_Head
06-19-2005, 08:49 PM
Oh come on Jenny that is too a NATO report, and thank you for it, I was going through NATO withdrawls, what happened to all the NATO reports? Anyways, you're right, you are a dork but that story would have probably had me sold too.
The Snark
06-19-2005, 09:30 PM
Is the book you're referring to Jon Ronson's Them? The last part about his search for the Bilderberg group killed me.
Oh yes, and, by the way, will you marry me?
Jenny
06-20-2005, 05:51 AM
Anyways, you're right, you are a dork I know! Doesn't that just make you wonder just HOW I ever got into this? Like, what made me ever think this was a good career choice? Between penguins, midgets and alien lizards, it's a wonder any club will have me.
Is the book you're referring to Jon Ronson's Them? The last part about his search for the Bilderberg group killed me.
Yes! Did you not find that to be wildly funny yet just a little thought provoking?
Oh yes, and, by the way, will you marry me? Dude! Go marry some nice girl who would never let men pay her to touch her girly parts.
The Snark
06-20-2005, 06:12 PM
Dude! Go marry some nice girl who would never let men pay her to touch her girly parts.
Yeah, OK, you're right. And come to think of it, you have a personal flaw that's far more unseemly than the fact that you're a stripper: you're from Toronto.
evan_essence
06-22-2005, 12:43 PM
Between penguins, midgets and alien lizards, it's a wonder any club will have me.Erm.. and exactly which other profession would make a better fit?
-EV
Jenny
06-23-2005, 11:43 AM
Well, I have high hopes for law.
Jenny
07-02-2005, 09:59 PM
This is not exactly a NATO. It's like a report on the followup. I'll delete it later if I decide I'm embarrassed.
Oh, man. I have a new favourite customer. He was only okay until he emailed me. I just love the way he talks - it's with this polite conversational distance. Like small talk. About the weather or some such similarly banal thing. He gets a dance and during the third song is more or less - or precisely, because I don't know how you would do it less - masturbating through his clothes. I move off his lap because I don't want him touching me while he down there. He asks me if it is okay if he cums, and I ask "Um. Well. Are you going to ... make a mess?" He assured me he would not so I told him to knock himself out but that he couldn't take off his pants. He agreed quite happily to this, and was just looking at me and stroking my thighs as he "looks after himself" and he says (seriously, by the way, this is how he really talked) "Isn't this kind of weird? I just met you, and there's your vagina." I reply "Yeah. Definitely mine. Not weird at all though. I'm used to it" and I'm trying to be casual, but I am a little surprised just at the casual and completely unshy way he is just getting himself off. In like full view of everyone walking by. This is a completely normal thing to do. I'm trying to maintain the casual atmosphere. I give him my Jenny email, informing him that I use it exclusively to let guys know when I work, and that if he asks me for a date I'm just going to say no. (Yeah, I know. At times I seem hopeless. I really do okay though. Just not AS okay as I might do if I weren't... you know. Hopeless.) So he emails me (and this is my favourite part) saying (and again, this is REALLY what he wrote. In fact, I must cut and paste:)
"Hi. I'm the boy you danced for on Tuesday at about 5.30. I'm the boy who masturbated while you danced...tho I'm sure that doesn't narrow you day down very much.
I really loved your stage show...you're a very sexy dancer. and you're incredibly sweet...I loved the way you never stopped smiling, even while spreading your bum apart so I could get a better look at your anus and vagina.
when will you be working again? please let me know if you get this, just so I know that I remembered your address correctly."
I love it. Maybe you have to hear him talk to fully get it. But just like this is all a perfectly normal thing to discuss. And the language! Like, not "pussy". "Vagina." I let him know when i would be working next and he asked if he could have a picture to look at while he masturbates. Again. Masturbates. Not jerks off. He also let me know that he had been thinking about me while masturbated since we met and that he hoped I didn't mind. I'm not quite sure what he would do if I emailed back and told him that I did and I would prefer that he stopped.Do you think he would? Just stop? I showed this to my roommate and she said that it was really sweet. Sweet? I ask. Well, (she says), it's sort of ... creepy at first, but when you get used to it, it's kind of cute that he is just SO comfortable with all of this.
I also had an email from a customer that I dropped because he lectured about the perils of dancing. Email completely out of the blue with a semi pornographic display of very expensive lingere, telling me that I would look good in it. The killer? I so, totally would NOT have looked good in it. Left me kind of going - Dude. Are you blind? You don't even remember what the fuck I look like, do you? Showed that one to the roommate too. She says: Eeeh. Maybe if you were lying down?
Susan Wayward
07-03-2005, 01:33 AM
Two whiggers in the club earlier this week ask me to dance for their morbidly obese friend. While dancing for him, I run my very short fingernails down his arms. He says, "I've got better (read: longer) nails than you!" and proceeds to show me the talons he's grown. Ick. I can barely restrain myself from saying "You've also got larger breasts, but that, too, is not something for a man to brag about."
SportsWriter2
07-03-2005, 06:02 AM
He also let me know that he had been thinking about me while masturbated since we met and that he hoped I didn't mind. I'm not quite sure what he would do if I emailed back and told him that I did and I would prefer that he stopped.Do you think he would? Just stop? I showed this to my roommate and she said that it was really sweet.
He's actually a fetish guy. Maybe he's Catholic and someone caught him masturbating as a child. Whatever, you own his soul.
Tell him he should pay you when he masturbates to his mental video, more or less depending on what he does with you.
Don't give him a picture; give him an assignment. There are zillions of girls on the web. Tell him to find the one that looks like you and send you a picture.
Tell him you can get fined and even fired for letting him masturbate, so you have to charge him more.
Talk to him in his precise language. Use the Latin names for cookie parts.
The more risk he perceives and the more he pays, the more satisfying it is to him. Fetish guys are like that. :O
I had a reverse situation with a dancer going through a divorce. She'd do dances and champagne for half price just to get off (without breaking the rules, I might add). Then she'd send an e-mail telling me what she did with me in her masturbation fantasy. Something very similar happened with another dancer while her mother was dying. Once the crises were over, the fantasies ended.
One last comment: Rookies get overwhelmed wondering why a sweet girl would show all her pink parts on stage for a dollar tip. It seems like an act of caring for socially inept losers. :-\
Mastridonicus
07-04-2005, 12:19 PM
Socially inept loser here!
Susan Wayward
08-01-2005, 06:13 PM
I totally think I pimped someone out at work today. I was talking to a customer and he, completely unselfconsciously, said he was looking for someone to "play" with in VIP. I'm not in a club where I can say, "The girls here don't do that," with a straight face, so I just said, "Well, it's not going to be me you're going to want to take back there."
"Know anyone I can?"
"Uh, well, it doesn't really benefit me to point you in another dancer's direction for that, you know."
And the guy palms me a $20, so I figure, what the hell, and reel off the names of some of the dirty girls in the club. I think that counts as pandering . . .
LMAO Susan
WTH you werent going to do what he wanted. Nuttin wrong with you being paid for sending him in the right direction ;D
FBR
Susan Wayward
08-01-2005, 06:36 PM
Yeah . . . most guys aren't so direct about it, so I kind of gave him points for balls. It's just that I said that, but I didn't expect him to interpret my answer as "give me some money and I'll tell you who might unzip your pants". Oh well, there you go, I guess the waitresses do it all the time. If they're smart.
BTW Roy if it was you I would have done it just to see the horror on your face when I presented you with the options. It's a definite downgrade from what you're used to.
Chili Palmer
08-01-2005, 06:37 PM
Susan:
At my main club (where HM and VHM are the norm, not the exception), one top gal got suspended for a month for doing just that. As much as I would appreciate being the recipient of good info like that, please be careful.
CP
Susan Wayward
08-01-2005, 06:39 PM
HM and VHM????
Yeah, I don't plan on making a habit of it. I was caught off guard.
KC Joe
08-01-2005, 08:28 PM
Susan, I was finally able to access your blog again. Glad to see it up and running.
mr_punk
08-01-2005, 10:30 PM
And the guy palms me a $20, so I figure, what the hell, and reel off the names of some of the dirty girls in the club. I think that counts as pandering . . .all that's missing is for you to say, "the biatch betta have my money!".
At my main club (where HM and VHM are the norm, not the exception), one top gal got suspended for a month for doing just that.it will also get your eyeballs clawed out in the dressing room.
HM and VHM????High Mileage & Very High Mileage.
xdamage
08-02-2005, 10:32 AM
And the guy palms me a $20, so I figure, what the hell, and reel off the names of some of the dirty girls in the club. I think that counts as pandering . . .
LOL. I think you're in the clear. After all you really weren't procuring services for him, just pointing him in the direction of others who might be selling what he wants. The $20? Just a gift of course ;)
MinahSky
08-08-2005, 01:54 PM
My only question is why they had to be "wiggers".
Katrine
08-19-2005, 02:23 AM
Ok, I'm keeping this as Hemingway as possible. I'm actually dead sober and in a great mania high, so ENJOY!
Walk in: School girl dancing to Darling Niki. Stereotype in effect, CHECK!
First customer: Name is Chewy. He's not Messican and he isn't a Wookie. I can tell by the disintegrated straw in his mouth that he's a tweaker. They don't smell so good. But he's a nice lad and likes mutual scratching. My skin raises in huge red welts from even minor scratches. It looks impressive for a few moments.
Next up: Group of old-timers. From Houston. Oh no. One looks JUST like Derek. They end up being really cool though, no extras requested.
I see an old regular walking in. Just as I am walking to him a waitress directs me over the same direction. He beckoned and I came, hehe. Let's call him R. He doesn't drink an ounce but loves the weed. His hair reeks of quality KB. He's a massager too, and buys multiples. I call the breaks. Apparently I got a little naughty with him on my birthday (how quickly selective memory fades.) But he hasn't forgotten and is eager to keep me until his money runs out. Thus, I appropriately clean him out. But first....
I'm getting off of third stage. R awaits his sweaty princess in a lime green bikini with glow in the dark lime beaded thong. A group calls me over. Some guy YELLS, "hey is your name {insert my REAL FUCKING NAME here}. I have no clue who he is, but its not good that he has pretty much let about 25 guys know my name. I played it off with a confused no and casually hightailed back to the corner, crisis averted, at least as much as I can plausibly deny.>:(
R and I are about done when a manager walks over to us and motions for R to come over and talk to him. "Shit, I'm getting kicked out" he says.
"Well fuck, I'm getting fired then, give me the rest of your money!" I say. Turns out, some hating-ass bitch complained that they "saw something." No dice. Apparently some dancer was sitting near us being as useful as the anchor of the Titanic, not making money, and jealous. The only other person in our plain view was a man who had an eye patch on the eye that was directed toward our corner. I SHIT YOU NOT! Seriously, could I make it up???
Manager didn't see anything anyway, and my rep is impeccable, so he had to talk to R just for show. When I asked him, he had already forgotten. Hehehe...I got the rest of the cash without finishing the dances, but it was all about the right amount, I didn't rip him off. He just got off from having to do the dead man's walk to the ATM....{cue horns}.
By now its 1am and the Itty Bitty Titty Contest has ended. I have no clue who won. Perhaps the girl with the fans? The crowd was so crappy I felt bad for the contestants. Those girls put in so much work for the potential to get a cheap boob job. At my main stage, only R tipped me. I ended with a big bow and a double-bird flip, followed by, "fuck all you cheap ass scrubs!" Needless to say, the rest of my stage sets were VERY lucrative. Ironic?
Group of youngsters: I begin to dance, and suddenly the prey begins to freak. "Umm, oh, well, my girlfriend works here and she is gonna KILL me!" Bitch, you should have thought about that before you commissioned me. Now you are getting the most abusive dance of your life while your buddies ridicule you. Since now, I'm about to get my ass jumped by some unknown stripper, her meal ticket is going to suffer for at least 3 minutes!!
Friend of bitchboy: 1. Just got back from Iraq, military= hotness check.
2. Messican=hotness check PLUS. I give him some standard dances and my phone number. He goes back in September, perhaps he'll be good for a couple of romps (doubtful).::)
The evening finishes with some old perv trying to get me to find him a girl to party with him and his friends in their Super8 room. I don't really know which hotel they were staying at, but this sounds amusing. I did a double dance for him earlier with a hottie, and he was waaaaaay too handsy. 'Tard waitresses kept sending me back to him because "girl, he spendin!". Just because he's tipping you $1 on top of every drink doesn't mean I want his spunky hands all over my freshly razor burned kitty kat!
He's urgently trying to find a girl. I recommend the Yellow Pages, under escorts. "Oh NO, I couldn't do THAT, now find me someone fast, I'll pay you a finder's fee." There is about a minute left in the last song of the night.....umkay buddy, let me get back to you on that one.....
All in all, a GREAT night! I'm no longer posting my EBT, but I tipped out WAAAAAY too much, but well worth it considering I didn't get fired or jumped. ;D
SeppeSai
08-19-2005, 02:51 AM
At my main stage, only R tipped me. I ended with a big bow and a double-bird flip, followed by, "fuck all you cheap ass scrubs!" Needless to say, the rest of my stage sets were VERY lucrative. Ironic?
*dies laughing and tips Kat a 20*
doc-catfish
08-20-2005, 07:43 AM
I ended with a big bow and a double-bird flip, followed by, "fuck all you cheap ass scrubs!" Needless to say, the rest of my stage sets were VERY lucrative. Ironic?
Not at all. I keep telling girls that audience interaction always works. I never said it had to be cheerful happy interaction.
The only thing better than that was some years back when I saw a guy tip a dancer two quarters as a gag. Her stage name happened to be Liberty. (If you have a pre-1999 quarter handy, you'll get the joke). Apparently she didn't think it was funny because she motioned the customer to turn around, tugged on his belt and proceded to drop the coins down the backside of his britches.
GiselleQ
08-20-2005, 07:47 AM
After that, she should have told him that if his mama rolled over a dollar, she would get four quaters back.
Casual Observer
08-20-2005, 07:54 AM
At my main stage, only R tipped me. I ended with a big bow and a double-bird flip, followed by, "fuck all you cheap ass scrubs!" Needless to say, the rest of my stage sets were VERY lucrative
Nothing like some quality negative reinforcement to prime the tipping pump.
<S> Kat
The only thing better than that was some years back when I saw a guy tip a dancer two quarters as a gag. Her stage name happened to be Liberty. (If you have a pre-1999 quarter handy, you'll get the joke). Apparently she didn't think it was funny because she motioned the customer to turn around, tugged on his belt and proceded to drop the coins down the backside of his britches.
My son did something along these lines with a dancer once. I wasn't there that night but I heard about it from several people. She's still pissed at him in spite of the overlarge tips he has since given her in a way of an apology (just saying I'm sorry would probably work wonders but he's not that way :-\ )
In this one situation, the apple did fall quite a ways from the tree.
FBR
Katrine
08-20-2005, 02:54 PM
We have some of the Round Rock Express minor league baseball players come into my club and ash their cigars on dancers heads during stage sets, as a tip, ya know. Or so they tell me. If they tried that to me, I hope for their sakes they are wearing a cup cause a 7" spiked heel is going to tear some nuts up far worse than a baseball!
We have some of the Round Rock Express minor league baseball players come into my club and ash their cigars on dancers heads during stage sets, as a tip, ya know. Or so they tell me. If they tried that to me, I hope for their sakes they are wearing a cup cause a 7" spiked heel is going to tear some nuts up far worse than a baseball!
IMO opinion minor league baseball is more fun to watch than the majors. those boys try harder in hopes of makin it to the big leagues. But until they do, they dont have status and dont make jack, relatively speaking.
Kat, would you spike a real pro who came in and did the same thing? Presumably, his tip roll would be a lot larger.
FBR
Moneywise
08-20-2005, 03:52 PM
That was a great NATO kitty. Twas very entertaining and made me feel like the proverbial fly on the wall. ;D
Chili Palmer
08-20-2005, 06:27 PM
We have some of the Round Rock Express minor league baseball players come into my club and ash their cigars on dancers heads during stage sets, as a tip, ya know. Or so they tell me. If they tried that to me, I hope for their sakes they are wearing a cup cause a 7" spiked heel is going to tear some nuts up far worse than a baseball!
Kat:
Ya gotta tell me (please). Was DJ Houlton (last year with Round Rock, now with the Dodgers) one of the Express players who came in? He's a friend of the family and I'd love to drop a bomb on him (away from his parents, of course).
CP
Katrine
08-20-2005, 06:31 PM
Kat, would you spike a real pro who came in and did the same thing? Presumably, his tip roll would be a lot larger.
FBR
I have danced for many NBA, NFL, and MLB athletes before. They have been totally cool. The ones that weren't cool seemed to know better than to even try to get dances from me, they usually try to have me score them drugs instead. }:D
Katrine
08-20-2005, 06:40 PM
Kat:
Ya gotta tell me (please). Was DJ Houlton (last year with Round Rock, now with the Dodgers) one of the Express players who came in? He's a friend of the family and I'd love to drop a bomb on him (away from his parents, of course).
CP
I don't recognize that cat. BUT, a couple of guys I went to high school with in Houston play for them. They all come into the club eventually, its down the street from their stadium. Back then, I was kind of the straight A student who dropped acid every weekend, so luckily they don't recognize me, at least they don't seem to.....8) I stay away from them. I much prefer dealing with the Texans when they are in town. Terrible team, but the players are gentlemen. ;)
mr_punk
08-20-2005, 09:55 PM
Walk in: School girl dancing to Darling Niki. Stereotype in effect, CHECK!welll, i hope she had ponytails and kept her skirt on while dancing. otherwise, the SG outfit is a waste.
At my main stage, only R tipped me. I ended with a big bow and a double-bird flip, followed by, "fuck all you cheap ass scrubs!" Needless to say, the rest of my stage sets were VERY lucrative. Ironic?nope...weak PLs commonly splooge cash in an effort to kiss ass after strippers (in totally calculated move) guilt trip or verbally bitch slap them.
'Tard waitresses kept sending me back to him because "girl, he spendin!". Just because he's tipping you $1 on top of every drink doesn't mean I want his spunky hands all over my freshly razor burned kitty kat!waitresses are worth their weight in gold. hell, i tip my favorite waitresses just as much as the strippers who gets nasty because they can be such a valuable resource. they has the scoop on all the strippers. especially, the new girls and if you're looking for say, a blonde with big tits who gives a mean BBBJCIM. she can get it for you too.
Katrine
08-21-2005, 02:10 AM
.
waitresses are worth their weight in gold. hell, i tip my favorite waitresses just as much as the strippers who gets nasty because they can be such a valuable resource. they has the scoop on all the strippers.
True, true. My partner in crime goes by "Sputnik". She's a russian waitress. We clean up together. She brings me to actual spenders of dances, charges them for GreyGoose while I shoot water, and we can talk all the shit we want about everyone right in front of their faces. There are no other russian speakers at the club. We have a Polachka, but nothing closer. So it works both ways....}:D
Moneywise
08-23-2005, 08:08 PM
my freshly razor burned kitty kat!
Sorry. I appear to have missed the rest of the NATO the first time around. I saw that line and suddenly everything else was out of focus. I had to go back and read it again. :P
Richard_Head
09-26-2005, 07:04 PM
What happened to all the NATO reports >:(!!
I need a NATO fix, somebody help!!
Jenny
10-10-2005, 08:24 PM
Awesome night - most fun I've had (at work) in months.
2 customers, which I hate in some ways because I sit around and worry about what would have happened if they didn't come in, and because even simple addition is beyond me after one drink (now. I drank quite a lot for a while. I don't know if I added any better though. I'm really only assuming that I didn't lose hundreds of dollars. Once my roommate counted my money for me, told me how much I had so I wouldn't lose it and I said Okay. She then pressed it into my hands and I looked at it and said "What's that for?" She then drove me home with my money). The manager pressured me.
So this guy walk by my barstool (which, god. I sound like I should live in a trailer) and says "shall we step into your office?" and I said okay. So upstairs I ask him if he wants me to start right away, and he says yes. This guy - imagine a Sporty that likes to pet you and tell you that you are a very good girl instead of a nasty cum slut. So he asked if he could boss me around bit - boss me around not actually being his term - and I briefly flashed on the pages of conversation here and then considered all the, you know, valuable customer advice I have received here and said "Okay" - seriously.
My roommate laughed so hard when I told her this.
So it started off with just a variance of positions - and yes, bend over and show me your ass did come up, and yes, I did it, without question (now, really, are you all very proud of me?) He then asked me to climb on his lap, and asked me to touch myself. Here I hesitate because that comes pretty close to touching him. But he raises his eyebrows at me and I totally cave (Seriously! This happened! I'm so not tough at all. The feminist won't even want me anymore). He asks me if I am close, and I waver briefly, wondering if I should tell him the truth. He actually says "Just tell me truth," and so I say "No, not at all." (and then he told me a I was good girl for telling the truth. And I smile. (Really!). He orders me a drink (and he insisted on a alcoholic drink as well, so then I'm drunk. So then I'm actually the drunk stripper. I'm imagining it was still charming drunk (cause, really, two drinks) and not obnoxious drunk, but I'm not going to ask anyone because I don't want to know that bad.) He then asks me to climb on his lap again and tells me to close my eyes and stick out my tongue. Here I REALLY hesitate, pull back and say, suspiciously, "Why?" He goes (this is taking a while to type actually; it's sort of oddly funny and painful at the same time) "What did you just say?" and I reply.... "Sorry." And then. I do it. I don't know how many times I need to type "really" to convey this story, but I don't feel I can leave any out either. So... Really. This happened. I did this. Then he told me I was a good girl again and petted me - actual petting like you would pet a kitten. Or a cat. I even did that thing with my head, like the needy cats do (you know the cats. The cool cats give you the look that says fuck off. I am not here for your amusement. The needy cats leans their heads into the petty. I was the needy cat. Not the cool cat).
He then said, very sincerely that he promised he would not do anything that would hurt or embarrass me, or get me in trouble. And this, even in my bizarrely drunk and unusually pliable state, I have to view half ironically. I sat next to him and he handed me a drink and I took it. He then took it back and said "What do you say when I give something to you" and I say (yes! Really!) Thank you. And he hands it back to me. I drink and he then tells me to do exactly as he says without asking any questions. I agree - even though I still know I could absolutely renege and there is nothing that he can do and he tells me to go to the bar get a piece of ice put it in my mouth and bring it back (which, incidentally, I have heard almost verbatim once before. Does everyone know about this except me?) And I do it, and he watched and I give the half shrug to the bartender (you know the shrug - they get it all the time) and put the ice in my mouth and go back up the stairs. He then demands that I open my mouth so he can see the ice, and then demands that I spit the ice into his hand. He then drops it down my shirt and tells me to get it out. He then holds it to my mouth and tells me to suck it. He then rubbed it over my legs and ate the remainder. He sat for a while, petting me telling me that I was a good girl - a very good girl. And dammit - this is long. Although I think it is mostly me typing "really" and "seriously" over and over. But I don't know what is going to happen with that membership with the ball breaking feminists now - do you think I will have to be particularly strident next week to make up for it? (Don't worry - I'll be strident at school. I've been strident enough here to cover any number of gaffes)
And I don't have space for the other guy, except to say that I think he reads this board, because I got MW's line: "Sorry, my hand slipped." As it happened I was (slightly) drunk so I laughed and wriggled away, falling off the couch in the process (because I'm sure I have said before here, that I am a dork, and if there is a way to wind up looking silly I'm going to manage it). I then looked up at him and said "Don't do that again". And he pulled me back onto his lap and I looked at him and said "Seriously - I know I laughed. Do it again, and I will get really pissed off" and then he laughed, and I said "No. Really. I'll get FIRED if that girl over there (and I actually point - like really, it's all her fault, and then by the way, she started laughing because she hears me and then has to explain to her customer why I'm pointing) sees you touching me like that." And then he very seriously PROMISED not to do it again. I vaguely wonder why when I start acting like a prissy girlfriend, they are THAT interested in keeping me around. Anyway - it was definitely my most fun night in a while, and I thought that you guys might love to hear the pinnacle of my strip club junkie re-education.
And I just reread this - my god. I am so not cool. But I had such an awesome time.
Chili Palmer
10-10-2005, 08:42 PM
Post of the year. Nothing else is even a close second.
CP