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Richard_Head
01-31-2006, 09:09 PM
well, I'm fucking paranoid about stuff on this site now for good reason. Thanks a lot asshat, you know who you are. :( Not you Sienna..........did I miss something? do tell more:listen:.

SportsWriter2
01-31-2006, 09:49 PM
Sienna and Katrine, you both showed class and style resolving that disagreement. :)

I have to write my long overdue Dreamy trip report to explain how dancers can do 10-20 contact songs without getting chafed.

evan_essence
02-01-2006, 02:00 AM
Well, on the off chance that I read the TR I roll my eyes at the pathetic lying liars (no offense). And I think I did my fair share of badgering over there - does that mean I have a badger-pass in NATO?Possible retorts:

1. Badgers are such weasels.
2. Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers.
3. I wouldn't know, Jenny. I've always found that if I flash my beaver, I don't need to show a badger pass.

-Ev

contheboyalready
02-01-2006, 09:18 AM
Possible retorts:

1. Badgers are such weasels.
2. Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers.
3. I wouldn't know, Jenny. I've always found that if I flash my beaver, I don't need to show a badger pass.

-Ev
Poetic. Bravo.

Reader's Digest condensed version:

---
Show your puss and you shall pass.

Jenny
02-01-2006, 05:53 PM
Possible retorts:

1. Badgers are such weasels.
2. Badgers? We don't need no stinkin' badgers.
3. I wouldn't know, Jenny. I've always found that if I flash my beaver, I don't need to show a badger pass.

-Ev

Dirty, dirty girl. Flashing your beaver all over town.

All Good Things
02-01-2006, 11:40 PM
Well, on the off chance that I read the TR I roll my eyes at the pathetic lying liars (no offense).

I must encourage you, ever so gently, to reconsider this opinion. Yeah, I know, it's a sideways poke at the boys. You are giving their fictional talents far too much credit, though. Guys in a perpetually aroused state are simply too mentally impaired to be that imaginative.

Also, check out the latest TR. If that doesn't reverse your opinion on the veracity of TRs, nothing ever will.


And I think I did my fair share of badgering over there - does that mean I have a badger-pass in NATO?

Ever since your ice-cube post, you have a lifetime pass in NATO.

Nicolina
02-02-2006, 12:05 AM
Babe, I'm not sure, but I think Jenny might disown me if she reads the latest TR...

Jenny
02-02-2006, 06:06 AM
^^^
I read your trip report. It was cute. Way to dig around for compliments

TOO - of course I posted that before I read Nicolina's. Or else I would have included the standard Nicolina disclaimer.

Nicolina
02-03-2006, 12:32 AM
^^^

Way to dig around for compliments



You mean from you or from the boys?

If you mean from you...no, i actually thought you wouldn't approve. It's not exactly a feminist manifesto. Why do I care? I dunno, I just do...I took some comfort in the fact that you probably wouldn't even read it, til it was mentioned here...but, oh well.

If you mean from the boys, well it's hardly a big challenge to get kudos on a post that mentions throatfucking, porn weddings, cum sluts, and little plaid skirts. oh yeah, and strippers. ::)

But I thought it was an appropriate swan song, before this semester's workload really starts kicking my ass...

{Of course, you all do realize that it's entirely fabricated, right? TOO and Nicolina are fictional characters spawned by a sexually frustrated, overweight, forty-something spinster who's underappreciated in her job as a copyeditor and lives in a cluttered one-bedroom apartment with a vast collection of soft-porn romance novels and a dozen cats. :O ...Or, if you prefer, by a sullen bipolar 16-year-old student at an all-girl prep school in a sleepy New England town. Whatever. It was fun to write either way; the TR is such a specific artform...}

kikin
02-03-2006, 02:15 AM
Spinster...yeah right!
;)

FBR
02-03-2006, 06:14 PM
If you mean from the boys, well it's hardly a big challenge to get kudos on a post that mentions throatfucking, porn weddings, cum sluts, and little plaid skirts. oh yeah, and strippers. ::)



Nic, its good to know that you totally have our number. We are simple creatures ;)

FBR

Docido
02-03-2006, 07:51 PM
Well, on the off chance that I read the TR I roll my eyes at the pathetic lying liars (no offense). And I think I did my fair share of badgering over there - does that mean I have a badger-pass in NATO?

Would it be more credible if we posted some bad trip reports? I could write about the club where a dancer took too much Xanax, fell off the stage, and was carted away in an ambulance. Or that time I walked into a club and saw a dancer pushing nearly 230 lbs on stage. Now that girl shouldn't have been within a one mile radius of any gentlemen's club - ever. I could also tell about the time one of the dancers got so shit-faced drunk she was carted out by two bouncers and slung into the parking lot like an old sack of potatoes. And as the grand finale, I could write about my adventure with the stinky cooter. :'(

These are all true stories and they're certainly memorable, but I don't think anyone wants to read about them. Trip reports are a way to recapture a fleeting moment in time. It gives us junkies a chance to vicariously re-live the smell, feel, and the ambience of the club experience. If people embellish, invent, or distort what happens it doesn’t bother me at all since I think of them like journal entries - the old pervs equivalent of a teenage girls’ diary. So basically, I just like reading them and don’t fixate on whether they are true or not.

Nicolina
02-03-2006, 11:05 PM
Nic, its good to know that you totally have our number. We are simple creatures ;)


Nah, it's not that you lack complexity...It's just that you guys like all the same stuff I do. :P

Jenny
02-04-2006, 08:27 AM
Would it be more credible if we posted some bad trip reports?
No. You're just not credible. And that's what y'all get for being perverts. I hope you're happy.

Trip reports are a way to recapture a fleeting moment in time. It gives us junkies a chance to vicariously re-live the smell, feel, and the ambience of the club experience.

Yes. The term I have used is "circle jerk." I am fully aware of the locker room homoeroticism of trip reports - it's like so you guys can metaphorically jerk each other off while saying that you'd rather have a chick do it, right? I'm open minded; I'm okay with that - until it gets rampantly misogynist or anti-dancer - but don't expect me to, you know, actually BELIEVE all of it. (Except from Nic - because we know that she is the paragon of honesty and virtue). Also, as with any homoerotic activity, I am kind of, by definition excluded. So I feel the need to weasel in, peripherally, by rolling my eyes and saying "Pfft!" I'm a dancer. We are VERY self-centred. EVERYTHING is about me. Or should be.


If people embellish, invent, or distort what happens it doesn’t bother me at all since I think of them like journal entries - the old pervs equivalent of a teenage girls’ diary. So basically, I just like reading them and don’t fixate on whether they are true or not.
Well, then, why argue with me on whether or not they are credible?

Jenny
02-04-2006, 08:43 AM
You mean from you or from the boys?
Well, from me - but you know you have all the reserved validation in the world from me, so.



If you mean from you...no, i actually thought you wouldn't approve. It's not exactly a feminist manifesto.
Oh, come on! What is there even there to not approve of - like the blowjobs, the hair pulling, or the school girl outfit? Seriously - I have never said, or thought, that one SHOULDN'T pull a woman hair, or that women don't like it. I have said that it is not an uncommon, particularly perverse activity. It's kissing - something that pretty much everyone does. And I'm not a 70s liberal feminist - although I don't like to act like everything they thought and did is passe. I just think there is something a little naive about grrl power-spice girls-lipstick feminism (and I'm easily annoyed by people who keep insisting that the only problems people have with dancers is because they are fat, ugly and jealous.). I think there is something sort of empowering and nice about the successful retired stripper being a delightful patron - is that just me?



Why do I care? I dunno, I just do...I took some comfort in the fact that you probably wouldn't even read it, til it was mentioned here...but, oh well.
Are you kidding? I scan the boards daily looking for your name. Of course I read it. I admit that it didn't get me off in class, but I think the guy sitting next to me enjoyed it. (By the way - if you can read this, you are looking too closely at my computer screen. Back the fuck off. Yeah, that's what I thought. Even in Notepad these people are way too fucking interested in what I'm writing. )



{Of course, you all do realize that it's entirely fabricated, right? TOO and Nicolina are fictional characters spawned by a sexually frustrated, overweight, forty-something spinster who's underappreciated in her job as a copyeditor and lives in a cluttered one-bedroom apartment with a vast collection of soft-porn romance novels and a dozen cats. :O
Aww! In a way, that's even cuter. (see? all the validation in the world).

Nicolina
02-04-2006, 10:15 AM
Oh, come on! What is there even there to not approve of - like the blowjobs, the hair pulling, or the school girl outfit?

Nah...It was more the shameless pandering and obsequiousness. Or something. The general lack of anger. When I was dancing, I was much angrier--I swear! But the anger fades....Still, I remember how pissed off I was when I was actually working, when I was engaging in that adversarial dancer-customer relationship all the time, and I sometimes think that the SW girls must get disgusted with my niceness toward the guys....

So, it was more the subtext, not the actual content. If that makes any sense. Which it probably doesn't.


I think there is something sort of empowering and nice about the successful retired stripper being a delightful patron - is that just me?

Jenny, I sooooo wanna come and be your delightful patron!


Are you kidding? I scan the boards daily looking for your name.

*swoon*


I admit that it didn't get me off in class,

Well. I'll try harder next time. :)


but I think the guy sitting next to me enjoyed it. (By the way - if you can read this, you are looking too closely at my computer screen. Back the fuck off. Yeah, that's what I thought. Even in Notepad these people are way too fucking interested in what I'm writing. )

yeah...I get those double-takes in class too...


Aww! In a way, that's even cuter. (see? all the validation in the world).

Thanks, Jenny! I feel so much better now!

Docido
02-04-2006, 10:54 AM
No. You're just not credible. And that's what y'all get for being perverts. I hope you're happy.

Oh my you’re souding like a grumpy, grumpy little caribou this morning, or even worse, a po-mo literary critic. Oh, and I'm happy and comfortable being a perv.


Yes. The term I have used is "circle jerk." I am fully aware of the locker room homoeroticism of trip reports - it's like so you guys can metaphorically jerk each other off while saying that you'd rather have a chick do it, right? I'm open minded; I'm okay with that - until it gets rampantly misogynist or anti-dancer - but don't expect me to, you know, actually BELIEVE all of it. (Except from Nic - because we know that she is the paragon of honesty and virtue). Also, as with any homoerotic activity, I am kind of, by definition excluded. So I feel the need to weasel in, peripherally, by rolling my eyes and saying "Pfft!" I'm a dancer. We are VERY self-centred. EVERYTHING is about me. Or should be.

I can't think of any trip reports except for Nic's and a few others that I thought were even remotely arousing, and as for homo-erotic, not sure where that comes from. I can certainly see trip reports as well as the NATO's being voyeuristic. As for the circle jerk fantasy, that's entirely your own. But if it makes you happier we’ll be sure to invite for the next one. That should take care of our little homo-eroticism problem. And if you do decide to join us please don't roll your eyes too much or say "pfftt" when we get undressed. It's kind of a buzzkill. Finally does anyone else feel like this is Jenny’s world and the rest of us just live in it? ;)


Well, then, why argue with me on whether or not they are credible?

Not arguing but pointing out that veracity seems to matter to you, but to me not so much.

Docido
03-08-2006, 05:14 PM
It's time for some more NATOs folks!!!!!!!!!!! :hyper:

Susan Wayward
03-08-2006, 07:55 PM
Nothing hot here, since I'm in Portland, but I will entertain you guys to no end with a description of our "couch dances" later on tonight if you want.

FBR
03-13-2006, 06:13 PM
Nothing hot here, since I'm in Portland, but I will entertain you guys to no end with a description of our "couch dances" later on tonight if you want.

Susan, tales from the Portland crypt work for me...and I imagine for all the blue guys and gals :P

FBR

Docido
03-13-2006, 06:27 PM
Susan, I second that. Any and all NATOs are welcome here! ;D

Jenny
04-10-2006, 07:26 PM
Not going to do a full out NATO because, well, I don't feel like it. But I thought this was cute. I was talking to a very regular customer. Like a PL, but really a perverted little weasel. A PW. (We could have a new moniker). I told him something about my life, and he responds with
"You're a bad girl! You don't even deserve to wear clothes!" and takes my dress.

And just because I can confess my unending retardation here, here is a nice conversation:
-Come home with me
-No.
-You should just come home with me and have a drink. I promise nothing will happen, I won't hurt you.
-Dude, I could totally take you. I'm not afraid of you, just no.
-Come on, just for a drink, with nothing else. There is a nurse upstairs in case I try anything and you wound me
-What? No. Really. No.
-How about we just go to a bar.
-Okay.

And I go, just because I felt like it (although he was like "should I wait here or.." and I responded "oh, hell no, I am not leaving here with you.") and I make clear that I am not going out on a date - i.e. I am not going to make out with him and end and go home and... I don't know, do whatever it is people do (it's been a while. I forget. I think something goes in to something else...?) We leave, go outside. Where does he try to take me? Home. I say "was I not clear about this? Did I not repeatedly say no? Did I say it in a way that made you think I didn't mean it? I didn't giggle first. So what's with that?"
See, I should totally know better than to do out drinking with the customers.

SportsWriter2
04-10-2006, 08:52 PM
See, I should totally know better than to do out drinking with the customers.
And as a favorite once told me, "NEVER go to breakfast with newly divorced guys."

lunchbox
04-11-2006, 10:02 AM
The drought has ended, ty Jenny.

I don't know, do whatever it is people do (it's been a while. I forget. I think something goes in to something else...?)
I think you're referring to what is known as tossing the salad. I think it's a vegan thing, I'm not sure.

Docido
04-11-2006, 05:12 PM
Not going to do a full out NATO because, well, I don't feel like it. But I thought this was cute. I was talking to a very regular customer. Like a PL, but really a perverted little weasel. A PW. (We could have a new moniker). I told him something about my life, and he responds with
"You're a bad girl! You don't even deserve to wear clothes!" and takes my dress.

And just because I can confess my unending retardation here, here is a nice conversation:
-Come home with me
-No.
-You should just come home with me and have a drink. I promise nothing will happen, I won't hurt you.
-Dude, I could totally take you. I'm not afraid of you, just no.
-Come on, just for a drink, with nothing else. There is a nurse upstairs in case I try anything and you wound me
-What? No. Really. No.
-How about we just go to a bar.
-Okay.

And I go, just because I felt like it (although he was like "should I wait here or.." and I responded "oh, hell no, I am not leaving here with you.") and I make clear that I am not going out on a date - i.e. I am not going to make out with him and end and go home and... I don't know, do whatever it is people do (it's been a while. I forget. I think something goes in to something else...?) We leave, go outside. Where does he try to take me? Home. I say "was I not clear about this? Did I not repeatedly say no? Did I say it in a way that made you think I didn't mean it? I didn't giggle first. So what's with that?"
See, I should totally know better than to do out drinking with the customers.

I may be insane for saying this, but Jenny in real life are you sometimes too nice??!!

Can one of my favorite internet harpies really be a softy at heart?

My mind boggles! :O

Jenny
04-14-2006, 07:39 AM
Docido, you are insane. But not for saying that. As it turns out - yes, I am too nice. And far too trusting in the ability of my customers to understand english. There has been aftermath.

Docido
04-16-2006, 04:09 PM
Docido, you are insane.

Should have seen that one coming! Did I say I've read the DSM-IV just for giggles?


But not for saying that. As it turns out - yes, I am too nice. And far too trusting in the ability of my customers to understand english.

Now I don't know what to say. I'm actually worried about Jenny's well-being and safety. This is not right at all.


There has been aftermath

Now I'm curious, tell me about the aftermath. :D

Jenny
04-18-2006, 06:47 PM
Now I don't know what to say. I'm actually worried about Jenny's well-being and safety. This is not right at all.
Dude I have judgment. My safety is one thing nobody ever has to worry about. My money, on the other hand, not nearly so secure.


Now I'm curious, tell me about the aftermath. :D
Nothing exciting - customer went from trying to pay me for sex to trying to date me. Interesting, fun guy but I have difficulty seeing myself going from being paid to rubbed across his crotch like a washcloth until he comes, to like, going home and being his girlfriend. I'm not sure if that makes me weird or him weird. I'm sure it will all turn out okay.

Docido
04-20-2006, 06:36 PM
Nothing exciting - customer went from trying to pay me for sex to trying to date me. Interesting, fun guy but I have difficulty seeing myself going from being paid to rubbed across his crotch like a washcloth until he comes, to like, going home and being his girlfriend. I'm not sure if that makes me weird or him weird. I'm sure it will all turn out okay.

That's not so bad Jenny. I was afraid the aftermath involved restraining orders or pepper spray. Just like my dates! ;)

red red red
04-29-2006, 01:09 PM
I like to think I'll get a bit slicker at writing these as I gain more experience, but here goes:

--went to hot yoga

--showered

--fell asleep

--was late to work

--got to work and realized i was too zoned out/mellow from yoga to be up to my usual mercenary party-girl par, drank some red bull.

--went out on the floor and sat down with this guy I met once before. told him some (mostly) made-up stories about my steamy lesbo experiences in college. he gave me $20 for chatting.

--was called onstage. Black Crowes' "Remedy" going into Edwyn Collins' "Girl Like You."

--the floor was still dead, so...

--my girl KM and I had a heavy bonding session in the kitchen about our ex-boyfriends, which further put me out of the mood for work.

--changed into my Jessica Rabbit gown to psych myself up.

--took it off and put it back on a bunch of times doing table dances.

--had a drink with some guy from California who wanted to "make love" to me for hours in his hotel room. i was like, "I'm sure you do." he asked what my boyfriend would think if i "made love" to him for hours. i said that he wasn't going to think anything, because it wasn't going to happen. i was not in the mood for this shit, so i got up and walked away.

--did some more table dances.

--went on stage. Joan Jett's "I Love Rock N Roll" into Danzig's "I'm the One." Hotel California reappeared at the tip rail and started waving $20s around. He said, "You know you're dancing for only me, right?" I patted him on the head, took the money out of his hand, and dropped it on the stage like it was dirty (picked it up later). He seemed to enjoy the abuse because he kept coming back for more. This was by far the most entertaining part of my evening.

--went back into the dressing room to pee and a bunch of girls were freaking out about how the other girls were all whores. This is typically translated into, "no one's making any money tonight." I felt a little better about my own earnings, which weren't great, but not bad enough to call anyone a whore over.

--Left early because I was over it.

--My cabbie told me all about how he won't have sex with girls who have their period and expressed horror and surprise when I told him that I'd never had a boyfriend who wasn't down. He's from Africa; his name is George; I have been using him as a driver for almost a year now. We laughed. I paid him.

--Talked to man-friend on the phone for a bit; made plans.

--Went to bed.

SportsWriter2
04-29-2006, 01:28 PM
I like to think I'll get a bit slicker at writing these as I gain more experience, but here goes:
Good read. I like your style. Modular description of a modular night. I'd like to see a TR written like that. :)

FBR
04-29-2006, 03:15 PM
r³...your NATO was concise and easy to read.

FBR

Katrine
04-29-2006, 03:20 PM
Great TR, I like your style lady!

GenWar
04-29-2006, 04:30 PM
QUOTE=red red red:
--went on stage. Joan Jett's "I Love Rock N Roll" into Danzig's "I'm the One." Hotel California reappeared at the tip rail and started waving $20s around. He said, "You know you're dancing for only me, right?" I patted him on the head, took the money out of his hand, and dropped it on the stage like it was dirty (picked it up later). He seemed to enjoy the abuse because he kept coming back for more. This was by far the most entertaining part of my evening.
--------------------------

Great Report, Red. Just Great. LOVED it. Nice detail.

I love how the custy became "Hotel California." I wonder if you noticed this...

"I saw him dancin' there by the record machine
I knew he must a been about seventeen
The beat was goin' strong; Playin' my favorite song
An' I could tell it wouldn't be long, Till he was with me, yeah me, singin'
I love rock n' roll; So put another dime in the jukebox, baby
I love rock n' roll; So come an' take your time an' dance with me

He smiled so I got up and' asked for his name
That don't matter, he said, 'Cause it's all the same

Said can I take you home where we can be alone

An' next we were movin' on; He was with me, yeah me

Next we were movin' on; He was with me, yeah me, singin'"

'I love rock and roll' - Joan Jett and the Blackhearts

"You know you're dancing only for me, right?" I bet he didn't miss it. Still, his night didn't end nearly so optimistic as that nameless 17 year old. ;)

Tales from the club...don't get no better'n this.

-gen

red red red
04-30-2006, 04:12 PM
^^ haha, I hadn't thought of that!

I've always loved how the boy in that song "looked about seventeen." It seems like a neatly smutty reversal of the whole dirty old man phenomenon. While I wouldn't consider myself a dirty old lady at 25, I'd still definitely get arrested if I did like Joan.

kikin
04-30-2006, 04:26 PM
Going forward every TR and NATO report should be written in that style!

[Make like red(cubed): Cut out the romancing stuff]

FBR
04-30-2006, 04:46 PM
Going forward every TR and NATO report should be written in that style!

[Make like red(cubed): Cut out the romancing stuff]

Well, I dont know if the rank and file would agree with your statement. I believe most members enjoy a variety of writing styles. r³ 's was good though.

FBR

Docido
05-06-2006, 04:19 PM
What's fun is reading the unique styles from each poster. From red3's imagist style to GenWar's mini-novels each has it's place. We're all individuals here and what's interesting is deciphering how each personality experiences the stripclub world.

PS. Now I'll make another annoying, desparate plea for a NATO. Bueller! Anyone!

Susan Wayward
05-07-2006, 02:25 AM
a repeat from my blog, then,

I was totally exhausted today but dragged myself in anyhow. I even brought my knitting with me in case I decided all I wanted to do was sit in the dressing room between sets. Right off the bat, though, a customer at the rack from my first stage set was ready for dances. I did a few, we talked a bit, about what we studied in school and what we do now.

"Oh, poli-sci, huh? So do you think we live in an oligarchy now?"
"No, but I think if Hilary Clinton is elected we'll be living in a plutocracy. Oh my God, I can't believe I'm having this conversation here with you."
"Oh, baby, I'll tell you a dirty sex story to make up for it."
"No, it's cool!" Ooh, what a perv. Couple more dances. He was a cutie, too, so it was a lovely way to start off the evening.

And just about the only lovely thing about it. In this club, more often than not, you sell each customer you dance for 2-5 dances. I must have been terrible tonight because I was in and out of the fucking couch room doing one damn dance at a time all night.

But hey, I'm better off that that girl who was back there for ten songs with one guy, only to follow him to the ATM which was busted . . .

I also met two SW members today, one who is dancing at my club and one who is a customer, both of whom are very, very lovely and personable.

And the DJ got drunk and said,

"Hey, can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, man, sure."

"Oh, I don't know."

"No, go ahead."

"Okay . . . what's up with the bush?"

"Uh . . . . "

"Oh, man, I shouldn't have asked."

"No, that's cool. It's my personal preference. Uh, why? Do you find it unusual or unattractive?"

"No! No!"

I threatened to go home and shave it all off in shame, hee hee. I love my DJ.

Also I think it's weird that my three square inches of hair is a bush these days. That guy has no idea what a bush is.

SeppeSai
05-07-2006, 07:58 AM
What would the other girls have said if you were in the DR knitting between sets, Susan?

Susan Wayward
05-07-2006, 10:28 AM
They asked me what I was making (a miniskirt), one expressed an interest in learning how to knit, a couple said they could crochet, and pretty much all of them oohed and aahed over the extremely fuzzy, soft, girly yarn I was knitting with.

Why? What did you think they'd say?

[edit] Oh, also, one of them asked me if I was a minor, since in Oregon, dancers under 21 are allowed to dance on stage and do table dances, but they aren't allowed to be out on the floor sitting at tables, so if they aren't dancing, they have to be in the dressing room. I think the story behind this is kind of interesting; a few years ago, they passed a law banning anyone under 21 from working in or being in a bar. This extends to sitting at the bar in a restaurant that serves liquor.

Well, lots of bars with liquor have bands, and some bands have members under 21, who could no longer play in the bars, so they decided to allow minors to be in a bar for the purpose of performing on the condition that they be confined to the performance space, i.e. the stage. Of course, strippers count as performers, so dancers under 21 were granted the same exception. It sucks a little for them since they can only ask for dances from the stage and can't hustle out on the floor at all or hang out with customers when they aren't actually dancing.

Jenny
06-06-2006, 01:18 PM
Gosh. Let's see. Last night was okay in the end - but, god, I suffered for it. So. Let's see.
Hockey is on. There is nobody there. Like at all. The smoking ban might be hurting us too - I don't know. I try and greet various girls in a friendly way, but I have no idea who any of them are, so I call all of them "honey." "Hi, honey", "Oh, honey, that is a really nice dress". On the upside, last night was the first night that anyone in this bar has addressed me by name. Cool. I've been there two years and finally someone knows who I am. (Actually there was a waitress I was friendly with, but she hasn't been there in like 8 months). Sometimes, I swear, it is full out embarassing to be me.
Customer 1: I sit down and chat. Hi, how are you, are you from Toronto, are you aware that in the Philipines there is bar for midgets, would you like a dance? We go upstairs, I dance a few times, he says he has to go and pays me. He ask what the amount is, and tells me it was worth twice that, and pays me double. (Aww!) I did a "really? Are you sure?" - but I admit I would have been pretty disappointed if he said "actually, now that you mention it, maybe that was kind of a hasty decision..."
So this seems like a nice and promising start? That is what I thought too. So I am prancing around thinking "Gosh, this night is going to be so great..." and I am called on the stage. I like the stage - kind of. Like, I like it, but sometimes I feel .... a little OVER-enthusiastic about the whole thing. You know those kids in high school who were a little too excited about band practice? That is me, on stage. Except without instruments. Point being, I move around kind of fast, and with a lot of... conviction. In the process of this, I stiletto my own foot. Stiletto heel. In my other foot. Not THROUGH my other foot. There is no need for stitches. Just hobbling pain and severe bruising. The four guys in the bar got to hear me yell "Oh BLOODY hell!" Did I mention that I have deformed dancer feet? Like, my feet always hurt a little bit.
Subsequently, I am hobbling pathetically around the bar, and I sit with a customer. He offered to massage my injured foot, but I told him that I couldn't take off my boots because my feet would smell (yeah, I know. I'm hot.) While we are in the friendly chatting stage, the manager or floor scheduler or whatever asks for my attention and directs me to some guy sitting in one of the VIPs. I go in and he asks for a deal. I said no to his deal (which sucked) but offered a different deal (in which I get paid a lot more, but he still gets a freebie. Yeah, I know. I'm cheap. But I have already been hobbled. I need to take what I can get). He agrees, and goes the bank machine and comes back. He was a little soft-spoken Asian guy, with a thick accent. I dance and he tries to touch me inappropriately. Considering that there is like 4 square inches of my body that guys are not allowed to touch, frankly, I think it is a little childish to fixate on those 4 inches. But whatever. I smacked his hand because he was pretending to not understand me. Then there was a lot of heavily accented commentary - "Fuck me, touch my cock" followed by a lot of "no" and at one point a kind of side look with an "absolutely not". We stop after the agreed upon number and I ask him to settle before we do the free one. He gives me 10 less than the appropriate amount.
Me - "Honey. You owe me 10 dollars"
Him - "Oh, just don't do the free one, then."
Me - "Okay. Then you STILL owe me $10." I got it in toonies. And I was not impressed. And I did not say "thank you." That was my small revenge.
I then sit with this foul smelling guy. Ordinarily the foul smelling would not be my first choice, but it wasn't busy, and I didn't want to walk far. More broken english (all the good tourists are clearly visiting Cally. Tourist hog!) We negotiate for a dance - not so much price as what the dance entails. I explain my 4 square inch rule. Using mostly gestures. He then says (although he claimed he had never been there before - the foul smelling liar!) that he wants to do the $10 dances. I don't do the $10 dances, and tend to assume that people are negotiating for the standard dance. So I said no, wished him a good night and went on my way. Or so I thought. I chat up another guy. Local, but okay. He said that he brought limited funds and didn't want to pay the cover, and asked if I would do a 10 dollar dance. Now I know I just said I don't do them. But - again. Not busy. Hobbling pain. Nice customer. So. I agreed to do a zero contact dance for $10. I prefer the lapdances. Gives you somewhere to sit. You get more feedback on whether or not you are doing a good job. I actually want little lapdance comment cards like you have in restaurants. This guy I just told him, after the first song, that I didn't really do dances like this, so he could tell me if I wasn't doing a good job. He said I was awesome, and he should come back tomorrow (now, tonight). I told him to bring money. But I smiled when I said it. We finished a couple more and he said that he would be back tomorrow - I smiled and he said he would bring money,. We leave the area.
Foul smelling guy walks by and grabs my arm and asks me to sit down. I smile and said "May I help you?" He communicated that he was irritated that I had done a 10 dance after telling him I didn't do them. I told him - and how is this for direct - that I really just didn't want to dance for him for $10. He then tried to kiss me. On the mouth. At which point I yanked my arm out of his grip and limped away as fast as I could. He follows. I think at this point, this behaviour counts as "hounding"? Do not hound dancers. If they don't want your money, they have their reasons. This is the moral of this NATO. He catches up with me and apologizes, saying he doesn't speak English very well. I don't want him to think I'm racist, (he was Afghanni) so I accept his apology and forget that in no language at any time did I offer to let hiim kiss me. He informs me that he likes me, and would like me to dance for him. I said "no touching. At all." He wants to touch, just a little bit. No. I walk up to the bar. He follows again. A girl stops him, presumably wanting to do contact dances for $10. I dive into a chair with a customer before he can attack me again. The guy sits are the bar staring at me. I do a couple more dances for a very unpleasant man who was bossy and mean and not in a good way. We are sitting on the couch, and I tell him I will start next song. He immediately tries to shove a hand down my top. I moved his hand and said "Next song" and he snaps "Now!". "No!" He shoves his hand back in my top, and I grab it and wrestle it away. He was actually fighting me, but he was old and I'm healthy. He didn't stand a chance. I had an arm resting on my stomach and he (yes, by the way, I am serious) pulled my arm to enhance my cleavage and then sticks a finger into my cleavage. I was full out disgusted by that, actually - and I might add the dances still hadn't actually started. I should have walked away, yes? Yes. But I didn't. I danced once, and he commences pinching really hard in such a way as I think it was intended to punish me in some way. He wouldn't let go of me until I smacked the top of his head. I didn't do it hard. He was old and frail looking. I was afraid of breaking him. I demanded he pay me, and refused to do more. And, why yes, he actually thought I was going to keep going. You might think that I leave now, yes? No. I head back down the stairs and the foul smelling Afghanni guy is STILL THERE and then he asks if he can touch my arms during a $10 dance. At that point, I'm kind of thinking "Dude. You are really all THAT attached to the extra $10?" I agree. And I should have known better. We go back and he tries to hump my leg. Literally. One of my legs is between his legs - not in a grinding position, a few inches out, and he wraps his arms around my waist and starts rubbing himself on my leg. I shove him away (and yes, I was shoving and smacking people all over the place last night) and he apologizes profusely and promises to behave. I agree, not even because I want his stupid $10, so much as I want him to stop hounding me. He starts hugging me. This weird squeezing hug, like some kind of freaky hug-CPR. I don't think I have ever felt so revolted. I took his stupid 10, refused to do another dance and went upstairs to get changed.
My poor, sad, stilettoed foot was enormously swollen. I was wearing docs, so I could put on my other shoes. I'm not sure, looking at it today, If I will be able to even get my boots on tonight. But I feel duty bound to try. Oh, I didn't mention that betwixt the guys that bought dances in my story I approached like 10 000 guys who all said no. (Full out misrepresenting my popularity there)
So. Cally. Susan. Ladies. How was your night?

Jenny
06-06-2006, 01:21 PM
Oh, and by the way - hi everyone! I've been on a blue hiatus.

lunchbox
06-06-2006, 02:28 PM
Not saying this wasn't a good story, it really was, but it would have been better with a few shots to someones groin, you know?

doc-catfish
06-06-2006, 02:50 PM
Oh, and by the way - hi everyone! I've been on a blue hiatus.
I was wondering why Mr. Punk has been relatively docile as of late, although Ev has been trying her best in your absense.

In any case, welcome back! :hug:

Docido
06-06-2006, 04:35 PM
Thanks for the NATO Jenny! Hope tonight is much better! 8)

SportsWriter2
06-06-2006, 06:06 PM
Wow Jenny, that was Reality SC. I remember a sweet ATF who used to hold on when I had to leave. She'd say, "Please stay, I just wanna be with you. You don't have to give me money." Not that I was so great, but that smelly Afghani was waiting for her. I knew that after she kissed me good-bye, she'd have to be with him. I could never look back. :-\

GenWar
06-06-2006, 09:04 PM
Wow...MY foot hurts after READING that.

Where's the love, my custy bretheren, where's the love?

See, this is why I am an unabashed racist. :)

-gen

P.S.

Oh, and by the way - hi everyone! I've been on a blue hiatus.

Can we assume an end to said hiatus? Just want clarification before I break out my party hat...

Jenny
06-06-2006, 09:27 PM
^^^
I would say that I'm done hiat-ing, for now. Btw - in true deference to the idea that it couldn't possibly get worse, tonight was awesome. Did the best 10 dances EVER for a guy at the beginning of the night. Walked around in an erotic haze for hours. Could not have been easier to sell dances. Went home at 11.15. And, the DJ knew my name. Now I will cut up an apple and eat it with a knife and fork. Because that is just the mood I'm in tonight.

All Good Things
06-06-2006, 10:09 PM
Oh, and by the way - hi everyone! I've been on a blue hiatus.

I could tell you how desperately you've been missed, but it's already the talk of the board. I hate pointing out the obvious.

So, is the foot feeling any better?