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red red red
06-23-2006, 01:17 AM
Wednesday night I went back to the club after a much-needed break, and I wasn't particularly looking forward to it. I've lately been plagued by these strange... thoughts.... or perhaps they're closer to fantasies. They involve waking up at 7:30 (AM) to be... somewhere... by oh, say... 9:00 (AM), having a desk, a lunch break, a bi-weekly salary, and male co-workers who, while they might privately think I'm attractive, are not whatsoever allowed to voice this opinion in my earshot. Whether this is a temporary symptom of severe job burnout or a more permanent perversion of mine remains to be seen. At any rate, I didn't want to go to work. I had three huge pimples was in dire need of both a pedicure and an attitude adjustment.

I ran into my friend S. in the bathroom where I was doing my makeup and she lent me a pair of ornate gold pasties, complete with little dangly parts. We stuck them on with eyelash glue and smoked cigarettes because the club was still empty. I think she thought this would elevate my mood, or perhaps she just wanted my nipples to be as fancy as hers. Regardless, I had sparkly dangly gold pasties on.

Out on the floor, nothing was going on. There was a group of four middle-aged guys sitting around near the stage looking bored, so S. suggested we go talk to them. I didn't want to. I wasn't feeling very conversational. Fortunately, the guy I sat beside said the magic words shortly after I sat down: "Are you allowed to drink on the job?" Why, yes... yes I am. I let the guy dominate the conversation while I gave my vodka and soda the old sorority suck-down. He ordered me another one. It was around then that I finally began paying attention to what he was saying. It turns out that this guy was from the next town over from the extremely small town I grew up in. Despite him having eight years on me, we still knew some of the same people. Normally, this would be kinda weird, but tonight I didn't care about much, so I indulged in a full-blown session about my fifth grade math teacher, the high school wrestling coach, and other quirky community luminaries from my hometown.

Then I gave him a lapdance. The pasties came partially unglued during the course of this and were sticking up around my nipples like weird spiky things. I tried to be slick and not get caught peeling them all the way off and depositing them in my Crown Royal bag in the middle of the dance. This was partially successful; while the customer noticed, the bouncers didn't. I can't say that they were missed by anyone (I didn't even cover up with more latex afterwards (extras alert!!!)). I halfheartedly tried to coax him into the VIP room, but wasn't much in the mood for arguing. I went my way, two drinks happier, only up twenty bucks but certainly richer in hometown gossip updates.

Next I smooth-talked some kid my age into getting a dance by telling him how hot he was. I usually don't use this kind of hustle, but he was kind of cute, and was really really really hyped on getting me to discuss how attractive he was and how much I wanted to make out with him. I just sort of indulged it.

I wandered around aimlessly for a bit before two guys sitting at the bar with a bunch of empty shot glasses in front of them caught my eye. Sure enough, they turned out to be local bartenders, one of whom remembered me from my college stint waiting tables at the Taco Hut. He was stoked that I was now appearing mostly nude for his viewing pleasure, even if I was no longer behind the taco counter. They bought me another drink and tipped me five bucks each. Sweet.

I was pulled away from this little party by one of the club's regulars, who S. and I gave an extremely funny and mutually enjoyable double dance to the week before. We call him "Snatch" because it rhymes with his real name and that's what his M.O. in life is... snatching... things. If called upon for an explanation why Snatch gets nothing more than a bemused slap on the wrist instead of the standard unbridled fury, my best defense is that he's this little older guy who looks like an elf, has a huge gap in his front teeth, reeks of "basically harmless" and is so effervescently enthusiastic about how great I am that I tend to forgive and forget.

Anyway, Snatch dispatched me to go talk to his brother, who was "shy." His brother was a lot younger and also had a gap in his teeth. He was a nice guy, although not particularly eager to get back into VIP. We ended up bonding about british racing motorcycles and he told me all about his dad, who had just died recently. I made the appropriate sympathetic noises, trying not to get bummed out about this. It always strikes me as particularly sad when the customers don't understand that strippers aren't supposed to be real people who sympathize with things like deaths in the family and career confusion. I'm a sucker for it, though. Who can just get up and walk away when this stuff starts? "My dad just died." "Yeah, I think I see someone I know over there," or, "Mmm... that's so sad, baby... why don't we talk about your feelings back in VIP where it's $400 for an hour, $200 for half an hour, and fifteen minutes for the bargain price of $100 an hour? You have to buy drinks, of course."

So I got sucked into the sad tale of Snatch's brother. It was actually really sad. He had me kinda misty-eyed at a few points. Then, he asked me if I'd give him a dance. I gave him two. Afterwards, he proposed. I demurred, and he offered to just have me come live with him so that we could mess around. This is where I drew the line and politely cut the conversation off to look for greener pastures.

I did another dance for the guy who grew up next to my hometown.

I went on stage. While I was there, two guys who were youngish but well dressed walked in and one of them stared hard while I danced. Also at the tiprail was Snatch's brother, who wasn't tipping, but was watching with such awe and reverence that I wasn't going to complain about it. I wanted to hit up the two new guys after I was finished, but Snatch's brother wanted another lapdance. Plus about ten hugs. Oof. By this point, I've had about enough of this guy. He's sweet, but he's also sucking me dry and I'm eager to approach the guy who'd been eyeball-sexing me while I was on stage.

Mr. Eyeballsex is a doll. He hands me a five as soon as I say hello, and after a few brief introductory remarks, I'm dancing in his lap at the table. He's loving it, making that sleepy-cat face some of the guys get when they're appreciating both lapdance as a general phenomenon and mine in particular. We do a second dance and then he asks me if there's somewhere else we could go. It's about quarter of two at this point and the bar is closing. Goddamnit. We give the VIP room a shot, though, and the host tells us we can stay for 15 minutes. Mr. Eyeballsex gives me $200, which is an extra $60 on top of the dances and the VIP fee. I'm in customer love right about now. There are another two songs after the fifteen minutes are up before they close the bar entirely and we stay in VIP and I dance for those, too. Mr Eyeballsex hands me another $100 and expresses regret for not coming in sooner. "I want to get a lapdance for five hours next time," he says. Then he adds that he rarely gets out of the house, he has little kids at home and rarely gets out of the house. Goddamnit again. I tell him he made my night and he says, "believe me, I enjoyed that more than you did." Oh, customer love... it's not like real love, or even a convincing facsimile... but it's something good in its own right.

Which is why I like this job sometimes... every so often you get a good one right at 1:45 when you're just about ready to give up entirely. I'm still having day-job fantasies, and I took tonight off just to make sure I'm not going to dread working the weekend... but I think everything's going to be okay. It might even be worth getting a pedicure for.

GenWar
06-23-2006, 09:24 AM
Good one, red. I love a happy ending. Who DOESN'T love a happy ending? ;D

One for the quote list:

"Fortunately, the guy I sat beside said the magic words shortly after I sat down: 'Are you allowed to drink on the job?' Why, yes... yes I am. I let the guy dominate the conversation while I gave my vodka and soda the old sorority suck-down." - red red red

-gen

Docido
06-23-2006, 04:08 PM
Great NATO red3. I love the term "sleepy-cat face." Glad your night went well.

Susan Wayward
06-23-2006, 04:55 PM
My Wednesday: Same club, same night, different stripper, different guy, same proposal, slightly earlier VIP visit, no drinks. Except I didn't give out any extras 'cause I had something covering my nipples. hee hee.

Also, this guy went to Howard, and I said, "So what happens when a white kid applies there?"
"Well, if you got in you'd get a free ride because you'd be a minority."

I find that totally cool and funny.

R3, you missed the power outage last night (my last night in Philly) that began just before 10. I danced for a guy to the music from a boombox, then Chrissy and I split at 11 and ate Chinese food. No idea if the power ever came back on or not.

red red red
06-24-2006, 01:54 PM
I heard about the power outage... apparently it came back on after a few hours. I'm jealous of your chinese status. Before you leave, we all have to hang out and have a mini-stripperwebfest.

Jenny
06-24-2006, 03:05 PM
Actually, I'm jealous of the food status. Oh how I wish that I could meet Susan W after work for Chinese food. (I'm such a suck up).
Anyway red has inspired me - my wednesday was awesome financially - definitely my best night ever at this bar, possibly in this city. If you start factoring in inflation I don't know how well that works, so let's pretend that there is a static dollar. Or this might have been Tuesday. The whole week was pretty good. So it was Tuesday or Wednesday, and let's say Wednesday to make it easier.

I don't even remember the order of my customers, so bear with me.

This guy (whom I do remember was first) wanted to buy 10 (yes, count them, 10) $10 dances. And at the beginning of the night, sometimes you just want to get the first dance out of the way, but not that bad. Like, that is a lot of time at half price, and I have all the respect in the world for the zero contact ladies, because I would have NO IDEA what to even do for 10 songs without contact. If anyone has any instructions or ideas, please either post or PM. Plus, I'd get tired. One thing about contact dances is it gives you a place to sit down. Just.. no. He asked why not, I explained and said that I was sure someone else would be happy to do them (and are there nights I would have regretted turning away this business? Yes. Definitely. Lucky for me, not that night); he was very set on having me do it. (You know those guys - who are just fixated on what they can't have). This landed us at an impasse, which he solved by declaring he would buy 1 $10 dance and if he liked it, get a few $20s. Now the amount of sense this makes is zero. But whatever it takes for him to feel like the dirty stripper can't tell him what to do. I did the dance and I was half ready for him to tell me it was crap (which would have been a complete lie - 10 songs and I'm at a loss. One song I can handle). He said it was very nice and went upstairs with me.

I came back down and sat next to a wildly attractive bald man (I did actually refer him to this site; I told him that I might mention him and not to take it personally if I said mean things. It was all to amuse. So, if you ever got here, Hi!) who refused (really!) at the end of our dances to take my email address. I was shocked. And appalled. But, ultimately, a little rejection probably helps to keep me grounded. It's good for me. And that is the story I'm sticking with. I did a few dances, and then had to literally run to go onstage (where I danced around with no mishap this time) and then went back up to do a couple more. We finished and I had to go up to the changeroom to fix my hair which had worked itself, in that brief time, into matts. He overpaid (or tipped, I guess, but it was a pretty hefty tip) and because I didn't count (I know, I know) I didn't notice until I got up to the changeroom. Then I felt bad, because I would have thanked him more profusely, and he may not bother tipping the next girl. So, there is my bad karma for the night.

Some guys that I have no memory of, and this guy that looked like Giles from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who didn't get a dance but it was okay because he looked like Giles and tried to do a British accent for me (Hey. Sometimes it's the little things). And another guy who didn't buy a dance but who was either a) retarded or b) doing a lame attempt at the mystery method we've heard so much about. Either one is fully possible. He interrupts me with another customers to ask if he can buy me a drink. I tell him that I am okay, and finish with that customer. Then I introduce myself as Jenny, and he asks me if I've called Jenny. I didn't get it. I raised a brow. He starts to get uncomfortable. I smile, and ask what he means. He is more uncomfortable and repeats the question. I gently tell him that I'm Jenny, and does he need me to call someone? Is he okay? He informs me, uncomfortably, that he meant Jenny Craig. I'm like - dude - could you possibly be engaging more with gender stereotypes? Do I look like someone who feels insecure about her weight? Instead I say gently (because he is uncomfortable and I'm mean) "Why would I do that?" He say that he thinks she could help me. "With what?" I ask. He looks side to side. "Your health" he responds. "Oh, I'm very healthy, I just had a physical" I respond. And then we start over. The guy was so sad I couldn't even get insulted. And I can get worked up over anything. Although later on when I was walking past him with another customer he reached out and grabbed me by the wrist, and THAT bugged me.

This little old guy - or maybe middle aged guy who thrust a wad of twenties at me and asks "how many is that?" Really. How can you go wrong with this? God just loved me last week. This little old guy was like, trying to talk dirty to me, and seriously, not trying to be mean, but it was so embarrassing. And he went and paid me in advance, so I'm trying to be extra nice about this, but ultimately with this LITTLE OLD SKINNY GUY going "You know what I REALLY like - turning a woman on. That's what turns me on. Do you like that? If we were kissing right now we would be puddles on the floor" it just leaves you with a "Uh huh. Yes. Sure. Okay" kind of response. Although that last one kind of turned my stomach.

My favourite: Foot guy. Foot fetishes are like THE new fetish. It's like feet are the new breasts. But I never agree to take off my shoes because my feet smell. This guy really wanted to take off my shoes, and there was nobody else in the downstairs room, so I acquiesced. So I am sitting kind of sideways on his lap and he pulls my legs straight up to unzip my boots and take off my socks. He massages my feet for a while and then pulls a chair opposite his seat and tell me to sit in it. I assume that he wants to, you know, "see" (I am, after all, not wearing any pants). He takes a foot (one of mine) and starts rubbing it up and down his leg; he culminates in humping my foot. His eyes are half closed and he is really into this foot action. I am, honestly, kind of disgusted. Not because I hate feet, but you can FEEL things with your feet that you can't feel with (for example) your ass or thigh. I kind of grin to cover my internal thoughts which are "Should I be doing this? Is this something I should be putting a stop to? Okay - I do it all time with various other parts of my body; is the foot really that much more intimate than my butt?" But like I said - your foot can FEEL things. Ultimately, I kind went with - "Oh whatever. There is nobody else in here to see anything" (and there is a stringent moral code for you).

And finally - little young skinny guy. Adorable. Not in a "wow he's handsome way" - but just - aww! He also thought I was way more into it than I was (and I really try to get into the dances; it's just that sometimes it is harder than others) but he had pierced nipples which facinated me a little, and gave me something to do when I got bored. Somehow, though, when he was talking about being hyper into it, it was cute and not grotesque. Maybe that is an age thing? Anyway we were right next to the DJ booth, and as I was getting dressed, the DJ leans over the side to let me know I'm on next, and we all somehow start chatting. Little guy used to DJ in a strip club in some small town; look, gosh, we all have so much in common. DJ asks if I'm willing to dance to something new, and I, of course, am. He puts it on, I run (run, run, run) down the stairs and leap onto the stage and do that thing that we do. At the end of the second song this one table half heartedly applauds (not generally a lot of appreciation in my bar) and I smile at them, and do a little curtsey and so the whole room breaks into applause. And that's just it - I'm a rock star. I do the third song like I REALLY mean it, got a huge wave of applause and went up to change my clothes.

Susan Wayward
06-24-2006, 07:31 PM
I heard about the power outage... apparently it came back on after a few hours. I'm jealous of your chinese status. Before you leave, we all have to hang out and have a mini-stripperwebfest.

Dammit, I'm gone (in DC until Tuesday, then back to Portland), but I hope to return in September. Chrissy generously offered to host me next time around. And perhaps we could talk Jenny into coming down. I was so happy to work with such cool ladies. Jenny, there is still a possibility that I'll be in TO for the film fest in which case I will find you.

Richard_Head
06-25-2006, 08:11 AM
Then I introduce myself as Jenny, and he asks me if I've called Jenny. I didn't get it. I raised a brow. He starts to get uncomfortable. I smile, and ask what he means. Are you sure he didn't mean: http://www.zenlyrics.com/Blink-182/Jenny+8675309/printfriendlylyric/searchid/306889

LOL, either way he sounds like a tool.

Great NATO's ladies, keep them coming.

Docido
06-25-2006, 08:38 AM
Thanks Susan and Jenny. It's always good to hear the viewpoint from the other side of the pole. .

Jenny
06-25-2006, 05:09 PM
Are you sure he didn't mean: http://www.zenlyrics.com/Blink-182/Jenny+8675309/printfriendlylyric/searchid/306889

LOL, either way he sounds like a tool.

Great NATO's ladies, keep them coming.
Oh, no. He clarified. You just can't respect a guy who tries to insult you and then gets all uncomfortable with the follow through - like if you are going to try to insult and then get all nervous when I call you on it, you know I'm going to twist you under my heel.

Richard_Head
06-25-2006, 05:29 PM
Oh, no. He clarified. You just can't respect a guy who tries to insult you and then gets all uncomfortable with the follow through - like if you are going to try to insult and then get all nervous when I call you on it, you know I'm going to twist you under my heel.Actually, I think he was trying out some bad boy game on you, you know, treat them like shit and you'll have to beat them off with a stick, well at least in theory.

sportsfanonsw
06-25-2006, 05:35 PM
Jenny is the ideal opponent. Highly excitable and prone to premature celebrations. Extremely vulnerable.

See: USA women's olympic snowboard team.

Jenny
06-25-2006, 05:39 PM
^^^
Well, I do suck at tennis. And pool.

sportsfanonsw
06-25-2006, 05:44 PM
Fair enough.

What's your strongest sport?

***

[I see your point. Your avoidance of a simple question seems really insecure...hence less respect. Got it.]

Richard_Head
06-25-2006, 07:06 PM
Actually, I think he was trying out some bad boy game on you, you know, treat them like shit and you'll have to beat them off with a stick, well at least in theory.or the Mystery Method, how did I miss that thread? http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68850

Jenny
06-25-2006, 07:12 PM
Fair enough.

What's your strongest sport?

***

[I see your point. Your avoidance of a simple question seems really insecure...hence less respect. Got it.]
Oh sweetie - don't require your respect, nor does it particularly turn my crank. But for the hell of it - in high school I was pretty good at field hockey.

I kid. Although I do have a funny field hockey story. Never really a sporty person - something about the teams. I did used to ski when I was a kid - does that count?

Jenny
06-25-2006, 07:13 PM
or the Mystery Method, how did I miss that thread? http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68850

I should have a little sign that I carry around that says "I only date for free food."

GenWar
06-25-2006, 07:25 PM
But for the hell of it - in high school I was pretty good at field hockey.

I kid.

Maybe this is humor...but I got a mental image of you in a field hockey outfit and that made it all worthwhile. Damn. ;D

-gen

evan_essence
06-26-2006, 02:22 AM
I've lately been plagued by these strange... thoughts.... or perhaps they're closer to fantasies. They involve waking up at 7:30 (AM) to be... somewhere... by oh, say... 9:00 (AM), having a desk, a lunch break, a bi-weekly salary, and male co-workers who, while they might privately think I'm attractive, are not whatsoever allowed to voice this opinion in my earshot.From one who recently made the transition, I can testify that it's not all the fantasy it's cracked up to be. The first few weeks, I was really going stark raving looney. Now I'm more atuned. Still can't get over being asked to do something without collecting a twenty on the spot, however.

-Ev

lunchbox
06-26-2006, 06:29 AM
or the Mystery Method, how did I miss that thread? http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=68850
I actually read through a bit of the site, he would have never offered to buy her a drink.

sportsfanonsw
06-26-2006, 08:51 AM
Oh, no. He clarified. You just can't respect a guy who tries to insult you and then gets all uncomfortable with the follow through - like if you are going to try to insult and then get all nervous when I call you on it, you know I'm going to twist you under my heel.

The follow through is a tough sell when it's deleted by the eunuch-moderators. Kudos to you Jen for turning these "moderators" into your little cabin boys. Waste of a couple good Y chromosomes.

lunchbox
06-26-2006, 09:42 AM
Bullshit, I demand a chest hair showdown...

CarGuy
06-29-2006, 09:03 AM
OK....I started reading this thread...became enthralled by Lilith's post...and then poof...I can't find anymore of her NATO's. Dang near ready to jump a plane to Jacksonville!! LOL. What happened to her?

aggieed
06-29-2006, 09:30 AM
Probably still involved in legal proceedings.

Comment might make sense if you were around this website during the Super Bowl in Jacksonville last year.

Richard_Head
06-29-2006, 04:15 PM
OK....I started reading this thread...became enthralled by Lilith's post...and then poof...I can't find anymore of her NATO's. Dang near ready to jump a plane to Jacksonville!! LOL. What happened to her?
You'll need to read down a few posts on this link.
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69159

FBR
06-29-2006, 06:07 PM
You'll need to read down a few posts on this link.
http://www.stripperweb.com/forum/showthread.php?t=69159


Thanks for the link, RH. I didnt know what happened to Lil. Ive missed her posts too and wish her well. I never imagined she would go Green Acres but you never know where life will take you.

Carguy sounds like you are out and about without barring her getting bored smelling the roses.

FBR

CarGuy
06-30-2006, 06:02 AM
Well that just sucks...LOL. Well I am off to Virginia today....but from reading the boards it loks like I will be heading to North Carolina for some adventure.....then it's back to Seattle.


Ladies..the NATO's are terrific. Someone should gather them, and write a book.

Somone come up with a name. I bet it would hit Oprah's best sellers list and then you all would BANK!

Docido
07-01-2006, 10:05 AM
Somone come up with a name. I bet it would hit Oprah's best sellers list and then you all would BANK!

The Daily Grind
Spoolgeapolooza
The Men Who Love Lap Dancing
Extras, Extras, Read All About "Em
Sunshine of the Dirty Mind
Hips! Tits! Lips! Power!
Close Encounters of the Lewd Kind
Rememberance of Laps Past
All That Jizz
The Penguin Guide to Pathetic Losers :D

Sorry most of these sound like bad porn titles. I'm bored!!

Jenny
07-06-2006, 08:26 AM
I would be happy to donate mine to Pryce. I like The Daily Grind. Not All That Jizz so much.

A mini-night at the office. A MATO.

"You're just dying to smack my ass right now, aren't you?"
"Yeah, kind of"
"Go ahead."
"Really?"
"Quick, before the song ends."

lunchbox
07-06-2006, 11:11 AM
I like the way you look at me
I like the way you smack my ass
I love the dirty things you do
I have control of you

Docido
07-06-2006, 03:41 PM
Jenny tops from the bottom. 8)

Jenny
07-09-2006, 08:40 AM
Well, he was kind of lifting his hand and then dropping it, but kind of stopping right before he touched me. I do appreciate that he waited for an invitation. I don't like being just smacked out of the blue.

Anyway - I worked a night with Cally. It was fun. We finally got to dyke out on a stage. I was thinking I might see if she wanted to nato it. I will, however, reveal that I ruined the whole thing by giggling like an eleven year old.

Cally
07-09-2006, 10:34 AM
LoL yes Jenny has a yummy pussy.. smells great too... but alas she ruined the moment by giggling like a school girl.

All Good Things
07-09-2006, 10:52 AM
^ You two might have a future in the schoolgirl act. I'd pay to see it. But hell, I'd probably pay to see you wash each other's hair.

Cally
07-09-2006, 10:59 AM
LoL TOO... im tellin ya you n Nic need to make a trip to TO very soon :D

Jenny
07-22-2006, 09:22 PM
Notice how I frequently NATO my bad nights? I wonder how this is going to feed into Gen's hypothesis that all dancers hate all customers. I don't I swear. Just on Thursday. On Thursday I hated all customers. I came home and told my roommate "they are all tools. All of them. Tools. All those times I said I met a cool customer? I was wrong." But then I got a cute email from a quasi regular, and I was all "Aww. Okay, maybe not ALL of them. That guy was okay."

So I get in and agreed to go on schedule (I had a premonition that the $50 they pay me to stay until the end and go on stage unceasingly (it seems like) was going to be important that night. And it was. I'm psychic.) They give me like 3 minutes to get ready, which would normally be enough, but today I was all "but I just bought new insoles. I have to cut...." My insoles had to wait. I go on stage, everyone seems riveted. I come off and sit with a guy at the bar who turns me down. This little guy who looks about 13 years old starts talking to me, and asks when I'd get to him and his friends, and asks if I was planning to work all the old guys in the room first. I replied, "Well... yes, I was. You're 12 years old. I can't have you looking at my naked body. That's a felony." He told me to come over when I was ready - not to be a bitch, but I wasn't. He was like a little kid. So I sat with the other guys - they were okay; we did a few dances and goofed off a lot. At some point when I got off stage and was sitting at the back putting on my pants, the young kid comes up and talks to me, and offered to buy a ten dollar dance. I agreed, and we went back. I did explain the difference between a 10 and 20 dollar dance - namely that you can't touch me for 10. Call me conceited, but I think it is worth the 20. At the end he informed me that his pal had paid 10, and got 3 dances and got to touch the girl. I replied "Well, geez - you should go find her, because that is a freaking GREAT deal. But, if it makes you happy, you can go tell all your friends that I completely sucked you off back here. Really. If it will lend veracity I'll walk out wiping the sides of my mouth." (It's still early. I'm not bitter yet. And I just think I'm so funny. I should have been in stand up. Naked stand up comedy. There is a market for that somewhere.) We walked out to his table and he says that he *might* get another dance, "but you've gotta let me grab something". I doubled over with laughter SO HARD that I hit my head off my knees (I'm really clumsy, and constantly coming up with new way of damaging myself through humour) hurting both my head and my knees.

Anyway. That was ALL. ALL. Until 12.15. And I was working, like hard. I got:
-4 guys that said yes, they would like to get a dance after their friend comes back from the bathroom/after I get offstage/whenever and then "changed their minds" (I might have mentioned that I have a thing with guys pawing me. I'm okay with being pawed, just not for free. I want to know that the dance is going to happen at some point if, as soon as I sit down, a guy starts running his hands up my legs.)
-3 guys who called over to their table (one via the waitress) and didn't want a dance, just wanted to talk to me because I looked so sweet (It's just an act, people! I am, in fact, a vicious harpie!). For free.
-2 guys say that they would, but they didn't want to pay the cover and then start heaping abuse of the floor guy who collects it (who is a perfectly nice guy, just doing his damn job). Then one of them asks me what days I work, so he can come back and see me. My unintelligent stripper brow furrowed and I said "But you just said you didn't want to pay the cover - so what difference does it make?" In a nutshell he would just like to come back and chat with me sometimes. And no, if you are wondering, he is not interested in compensating me for this. (Although, if it makes anyone feel better I did not roll him for his wallet because of this. I told him that I was really more about the selling dances than the idle chit chat and walked away).

I chatted with a girl that I am a little friendly with, and asked her if it was me, or if all the customers were tools today. She said it wasn't me. At about 12.00 this Asian group comes in. I'm sitting at the bar, because I am, at this point, unwilling to subject myself to any more of these guys (oh, I forgot the guy whose table I walk up to, and said Hi, I'm.... at which point he interjected "Turn around and show me your ass." At that point - I've had enough. And really - my ass is not that impressive anyway). So this Asian woman looks over at me at the bar, and I smiled, because she is cute, and enjoying herself and being entirely appropriate. She smiled back, and about 10 minutes later (and you have to know me to understand what it means that I was sitting at the bar, by myself, for 10 whole minutes. Never happens.) She beckons me over. The party informs me that they wouuld like me to dance for this one boy, the cover has been paid and they pay me in advance. I take his hand and we go up the stair and I dance. He is sitting like a stone, and he doesn't speak much english. I put his hands on my hips and he say "Oh, thankyou, thankyou, thankyou". Which, I'd been having the most miserable night and all, but really - that's just so cute. He did that every time I put his hands on me (although it took until like our 5th song before he would move his hands from where I placed them). I found out that the woman who beckoned me over was his MOTHER. Now, is it me, or is that weird? This whole family came out to help this guy find a stripper. I had to go on stage (again) and on way, another guy stops me; I told him that I had to go on stage, but I would like to when I was finished. He said he would wait. This Asian family is all wooing and yelling as I'm dancing - and again - it is so cute, but so fucking weird. I get off and go over to take the guy upstairs, saying to like 6 tables that are trying to hail me on my way "I'll be back, I'll be back" (I lied - I wasn't back). Great customer - just grabs my hips and moves me around. I untucked his shirt and slid my hand under it, but he had these weird scabs and stuff all over his chest, so I promptly removed my hand (honestly, at first not even because I grossed out, as I was concerned about hurting him in some way. It could just be some kind of acne, but I didn't want to ask - hard to phrase that delicately - "Uh, so - these nasty scabby things on your chest - do I need to worry about these?) The kind of dance he wanted was just a consistent, hard grind - I'm like, score, I can totally do that, and did, for like, 10 000 songs. I don't see how anyone can be interested in that for the length of time that I did it, but whatever - his money. I went back down the stairs and the Asian mother (who looked far too young, to me, to have a grown son) stops me and informs me that he has been looking for me. He found me and looked completely betrayed that I hadn't run back to their table as soon as I was done my stage. We went back upstairs and he says forgivingly, "You were tired."

I dance until 2 (which is not long at this point), thanked god for my three customers that night, and went upstairs. Another girl asked me how it was and I replied "I think I'm dying". Everyone in the changeroom makes noises of concurrence - the girl who asked said that she thought EVERYONE was dying tonight.

Richard_Head
07-24-2006, 06:23 AM
LMAO Jenny, very entertaining read :thumbsup:. Yes, we are tools.

CarGuy
07-24-2006, 07:42 AM
Nice report. Another club that that must be put on the list. The asian familiy story was funny, the only thing weirder would be if the mom joined the boy in the back...LOL

FBR
07-24-2006, 08:21 AM
I agree with Jay and RH. Jennys posts are fun to read. God help that PL's that hit her club LOL

FBR

Bridgette
08-25-2006, 04:22 AM
Okie, afterseeing some resurrected thread on pink about "stripper blogging" and it being encouraged in member boards there, and Lilith (miss her posts) pointing out that it's been here for, like, ever, I guess I got in the mood to blog. Or report. Whatever.

Background:
As most yall know I've recently moved to Seattle from Phoenix, and that means a whooooollle new stripping ballgame. I'm sure many of you have read the posts saying how shitty dancing in Seattle is, and how much it sucks, and how bad the money is, and how awful the customers are. Well, granted I've only danced here 2 nights now, and I'm working only busier nights, but still, my limited experience tells me it ain't all that bad.

The contact IS much higher here - with some guys. The house fees ARE much higher here. The clubs ARE way less busy here. (compared to Phoenix) But so far it's quite manageable.

Bridgette
08-25-2006, 05:00 AM
Thursday

One could sum up my night with one word: "Uuuhhhh" Or maybe it was "aaaahhh". You get the point.

After my (fabulous if I do say so myself) amature night win last week, and subsequent hiring with special scheduling priviliges, I have kicked off my stripper return on exactly the right foot.

Was supposed to be in at 6pm but showed up late cuz I got stuck on the 99 drawbridge. Yeah, I knew it was a drawbridge, I just hadn't seen it working yet. Not that I really care about being late for my scheduled shift at Deja Vu (*gasp* I'm working at a Deja Vu again). The GM has already told me I can work when I want. Said I've "been dancing long enough". I suppose I could take that to mean I must be old, but nah. Nice. I get to work whenever I want at the Notorious Wal-Mart of StripClubs.

Long story short, I got in at 6:30, on the floor at 6:55. Checked in with DJ - 10 girls, 5 guys in the room. One guy was obviously a serious reg because he got straight dances from one girl for like an hour. From what I've seen, unless they're regs, they just don't do that here. So, 9 girls and 4 guys on the floor. Great.

With that ratio I knew I'd have to get my hustle on, so I psyched myself up, told the DJ what to play for my upcoming set, and hit the floor. In clubs like this I like to find a good vantage point (stroll there with my ample hips swinging all the way) and scope for a bit to pick a target. There are always girls in this club standing around, milling around, sitting alone in lapbooths, etc. Like, 2 or 3 times as many girls as custies. Anyway, didn't take long to spot a target.

My approach for this kinda club is as follows:
*Scope out target from Vantage Point A. At this club it happens to be a spot next to the dividing wall between stages / rooms (it's a room split in half by a partial wall and a stage on either side of that wall).
*Move to Vantage Point B, swinging my hips, sucking the straw on my diet coke and watching out the corner of my eye for him to turn and look. He looked.
*Spend about 3-10 seconds at Vantage Point B before going in for the kill. But I got called on stage this time. Shit. I was just about to swoop in. With this custy/dancer ratio some other twat will prolly get him to a booth before I can get off the damn stage.

Despite the dismal crowd and glaring lack of energy in the room, I do a decent stage and get an actual LOUD ovation at the end. Good sign. Yay.

Fortunately, Target 1 - Cali Lawyer ::) - was still free and eyeing me more than ever after getting a load of my large boobs, ample hips, smooth moves and spread hoo-ha. It's kinda fun dancing nude again :P
I still don't swoop on him instantly. Gotta hang back a few seconds. He will like it more if I make him wait.

Move in behind him, all sneaky-like. Gently start rubbing the back of his head/neck without saying a word. Just do that a few seconds until he turns around. I do this a lot - dunno why it works, but it does. Sometimes I'll do the rubbing with my ass - I know why that works HA. Anyway, he wants dances after about 30 seconds of bantering chitchat.

I take him to the back corner in the other room (we mostly use that room for "private" dances. After one song and a lot of uuuuuhhhs from him, he says, "that was only 20 bucks???". Shit, I need to start charging more. I say, "well you can always tip me more" grin mischeivously, "we can do another, right?" As I'm nodding my head yes and slowly, ever-so-slightly continuing to grind. "Uuuuuhhh." Me: "yes?" He: (nodding) "uuuuhhhh." Okie. Continued for 2 more songs. At first he was Mr Grabby Bronco Boy but by the end of the first song he was mere putty. I love my job }:D

And all that is with clothes ON. We can't take tops or thongs off during laps. Of course there is flashing. I only show boobs.

Freshen up then back to Vantage Point A. On the way, I spy a youngish dude spying me, and trying soooo hard to be subtle with his spying. I love this kind. I spend a minute or so standing and slightly wiggling my hips and sucking on my drink straw and fondling it with my tongue, to the beat of the music. Watching him out the corner of my eye. He tries not to look. I can see his neck trying to turn. Finally, he gives in and looks. Gotcha!! I wait a second then turn and "notice" him. Stick my tongue out at him. Giggle. He chuckles. He is SO done for.

Slide over to him. He has that head stubble guys get when they shave and let it grow out some between shavings. I rub it for a good 10 seconds. He is trying to withstand. Trying. He finally turns and looks up, and of course gets a good eyefull of my glowing-in-the-blacklights-under-my-hot-white-gown boobs facing him head on. He grins, I move around the chairs to slide in next to him. Put my ass right next to his. Turn just so my ample cleavage is under his chin. He likes. Smalltalk a few minutes. I can tell he's from Back East. Another SCORE for me! I always do well with those boys. Mr Ohio, it turns out, now living in Seattle.

Ready for dances. Again with the uuuuuuhhhh. 3 songs of uuuuuhhhh, and I have to do the cattle call. ::) Deja Vu. He wants me to come back when I'm done, but by that time, some other chick is hustling him. I debate butting in (after all, he told me to come back), but he seems occupied so I decide to find another target and wait for the little girl to leave.

Some tall old guy flagged me for the cattle call special, 2for1 dance. Okay. Finish that (got tipped full dance price YAY), and Mr Ohio is finishing his 2for1 with Little Girl. Really, she looks like a little girl with her cute little pug nose, little girl hair and 2inch heels. Mr Ohio is clearly ready to come back home to mama.

But I linger a minute, go to the soda machine and get myself a cup of water (we're allowed) before sliding up behind him - he's standing there pretending to watch the stage - and fondle his butt. "That feels like a familiar hand playing with my booty!" Giggle and purr in his ear from behind we're going back to play somemore, yeah?" "yeah."

2 more songs of uuuuuuhhhh, and he informs me he only has 3 more left in him and I should go for it. He was actually pretty cute, with his blue eyes, full lips, nice hairy chest which I played with alot, and his stocky little build. mmmm. By the end his shirt was practically off, his belt was off, I was sweating like a pig in heat, and my glasses were so fogged they made my vision worse than not wearing them at all :O

Freshen again, refill water, back out.

Check with DJ, turns out my stage is next, so tell him my songs and move over there to wait my turn. I spy a potential target on the way. My new music fucken ROCKS (which helps me rock the crowd), and again I got a loud ovation from the very small crowd. It's a bit later now and more guys/girls are in, but there's STILL about 2 girls per guy. Whatever, I am on a roll.

Finish my set, dress and watch my target out the corner of my eye. He'd been doing that shuffle in his seat during my stage that says he is just dying to get smothered in my cleavage. I take my time going over, as usual. He needs to know, as the others have, that my attention is special. ha

Again I do the slide-up-behind-and-rub-his-head-and-neck move, and I could see him smiling hugely, even from behind. He's done. I slide in beside and kinda nudge him to the edge of his chair, so I can half sit in his lap / half sit beside him and press my cleavage close to his chin. He likes. Chitchat a couple minutes - he's from Portland, in town on business. Portland! Home of the still-existent totally zero contact airdance. Oh yeah! He is a goner.

I can hardly contain myself from asking him for the dance. Maybe 20 seconds too soon for optimum, but he is clearly itching for a Real Lapdance, and he likes my cleavage. He asks if I'm fun. giggling mishceivously "Are you kidding? Dood, I suck!" He chuckles. "Ok." I grab him by the hand, "let's go". He follows like a good boy.

He is clearly not used to touching, so he immediately starts with the uuuuuuhhh as soon as I lean in and nibble his ear. I have this way of doing it to maximize the cleavage-in-the-face in the process. Too bad there isn't a VIP or champagne room here, cuz this one woulda been soooo there! LOTS of uuuuuuhhh this time, through songs 1 and 2, getting progressively more pronounced. I'm glad I'd lead him back to the back corner. At song 3 he shyly starts to put his hands gently on my hips as I'm riding backwards cowgirl. I bend over and give him a better view in appreciation. Between each song I purr into his ear as I'm riding front cowgirl and shoving the cleavage in his face, "we can do another?" And each time he says, "you think so huh?" To which I always reply, "yep" with my mischeivous giggle. Then he nods and I resume. This one REALLY got into it with his uuuuuuhhhs. 5 songs, he's broke, I'm sweaty again, and I think we'd made a slight spectacle of ourselves what with his increasingly louder uuuuuuuhh-ing and my boobs' bad habit of slipping out the top of my dress. haha

I look at my watch, see 12:30 and decide to call it quits. 6 hour shift requirement. There's a few more guys in and I know I could muster some more cash, but I'm easing back into stripping. Besides, there was a girl in the dressing room crying earlier because she hadn't made house fees in the last 3 days and didn't have the money for food tonight or parking for work tomorrow. Maybe I'll make it easier for some other girls if I leave early. heee

Knock on office door, GM is available and respectful as usual. I see on the clock it's only 11:30. Tell him I had thought my watch said 12:30 and was gonna ask to go home - 6 hours & all. He said no problem, I can roll whenever I want. Very nice. I guess my show of respect helps a bit.

I pay out, tip DJ (who apparently isn't used to decent tips because he is already my best friend) and the dance-counter. Tip doorguy walking me to my car. Comment it was a pretty good night. He says that's nice to hear for a change, and comments that it's all about attitude. I reckon so.

Walked out with $350, not including my $10 parking fee. Not bad for a 4.5hr early shift in Seattle. Not bad at all.

I guess this was a long one. I guess I felt the need to give background info, since it's a new club and all. Hope it wasn't too boring!

GenWar
08-25-2006, 07:01 AM
I guess this was a long one. I guess I felt the need to give background info, since it's a new club and all. Hope it wasn't too boring!

A) Simply posting a NATO makes you a goddess. That's the first rule.

B) Never apologize for length. Trust me when I tell you. I have had TRs go to 6 posts to accomodate the 10K character limit per post. Trust me, everyone is loving the length.

C) After this...


...and eyeing me more than ever after getting a load of my large boobs, ample hips, smooth moves and spread hoo-ha. It's kinda fun dancing nude again :P

I, personally, would be prepared to forgive almost anything.

-gen

Cheif_Bigfoot
08-25-2006, 08:15 AM
After reading that makes me want to go visit Seattle. Then again Jenny's make me want to go visit Toronto. I think I need to move to a coast or something.

Oh and yes length is not a big deal. Reading the whole thing is fun and hell if you get within like a 6ish hour drive of me you would very likely have a VIP/CR already sold. :)

Katrine
08-25-2006, 02:13 PM
B, you are a fucking goddess!!! Ladies and gents, now THAT is how to hustle!

Bridgette
08-25-2006, 02:32 PM
^^Heh. It's not always that easy. I was on a roll and everything just seemed to click last night. Granted there are far more better nights than crappy, but some nights there's just no avoiding the crap.

FBR
08-25-2006, 06:57 PM
B..that was an outstanding NATO. A great read!

FBR

CarGuy
08-25-2006, 08:08 PM
Nice work... I was in Seattle twice in June....I remeber the clothed dances, but they were still friggin Hot. Didn't hit Deja Vu, was at Foxy's when the guy got killed in the parking lot.

Excellent NATO...still chuckling.

Uuuuuhhhhh! Just one more...

Bridgette
08-26-2006, 04:55 AM
Friday


Blind Stripper


Tonight wasn't all that exciting to start out. I rolled in at 9ish and got on the floor around 9:30. This time there were friggin tons of girls, in the dressing room, on the foor, in the bathroom, in the DJ booth...fucken everywhere! And like 8 custies. Great. Another one of those nights. There were so many girls, I only went on stage once all night. 2-3 girls per guy in the room all night. Good thing there's quite a bit of custy turnover or we'd be in some serious trouble.

Anyway, I am seeing a pattern here. You have to really get your hustle on, all the time, in order to make a living in this town. No slacking here, or you'll be like that girl crying in the dressing room last night (who, btw, was making money tonight - good for her).

I hit the floor and strolled over to Vantage Point A to look for a target. Nothing. Every guy either had some chic on his lap, beggin for a dance, or he was with some frumpy, bitchy-looking wife who evil-eyed all the girls. Not a good sign. I did my hip wiggling and straw-sucking for a bit, realized it was futile for now, and wandered off to the empty 2nd room to play around on the empty stage for a while. Doesn't hurt to warm up and I knew I'd have to be on stage in a bit. Perhaps I'll get some boys after they see me bounce my ass, jiggle my boobs and spread my hoo-ha :P

It worked. Just before my set some banker's convention boys from Montana walked in and crowded around the stage. They started hootin and hollerin, and yelling out stuff like "I llllliiiike it!" and "wwwwwwooooooo!!" I was wearing my checker-flag crotchless bodysuit with lime green thong and garter. It's my winner outfit. I got the checkered flag, the winner's circle in the middle, and the green flag in the middle of that. HA. It makes for good opening chitchat. hehe

One of the Montana boys shoved a $20 in my hand before I could even get dressed after stage and told me to take care of his boy. So I pulled my stuff up with one hand, grabbed his ass with the other, and drug him back to the booth. The back corner booth is my Official Naughty Corner now.

He was kinda cute in that Montana farm boy sorta way. With his freckles, shy goofy smile and huge friggin bulge in his pants :drool: He got 3 more songs after the one his buddy paid for, and tipped me well. He didn't uuuuuhhhhh. (It wasn't an uuuuuuhhh night. It was more like a grunt night this time. Lots of grunting went on under Bridgette tonight.) Whatever works. He grunted alot, and I felt like I needed a cowgirl hat for effect as I rode that big-ass bulge of his. Holy shit!

Well, that got me started off right I guess, cuz after that it was a whirlwind of boys and dances for the next couple hours. Nothing really memorable, but I stayed pretty busy. If I didn't have someone asking me for dances, I didn't have a hard time finding a taker. Instead of using the head-rubbing deal, I used the ass-rubbing tonight. A girl's gotta change it up. I'll spot a target, slide up behind him and slide my ass up to the back of his neck. Let it sit for a sec then start to do the butt-muscle jump thing on his neck for a few seconds. Do it with both cheeks simultaneously, then switch from one to the other, in time with the music. It's very hard for the boys to resist the Butt-Muscle-Neck-Rub ;D

Oh, there was one short Tex-Mex dude who, apparently, saw me dancing for someone else on his way to the bathroom, and decided to wait his turn. As soon as that guy left, he was dragging me back to the booth asking for dances. He said I was a dirty girl, and that's why he wanted dances. LOL. I hear that I'm dirty a lot, or naughty, etc. I don't think I'm all that dirty - maybe just good at making the illusion of it. I dunno.

He asked if I speak spanish, even though his english was perfect. I took that as my cue and ran with it. I was purring stuff in his ear like, "Ay papi! Tu eres tan grande y tan duro, y te deseo mucho!" He: "Te gusto? Como te gusta?" Me: "Aaaaahhh, suave papi, suave." He: "Despacito?" Me: "Si papi. Ayy" See, my time in PR STILL pays off. HAHA! He was lovin it. Drooling and grunting like a pig. heee

Around 12:30-1, I hit a wall. Buncha boys still leftover who'd already spent their money, stage-gawkers and guys who'd just walked in. Nada. So I hung out in the dressing room for a few. I was minding my own business, sitting on one of the few stools in there (it was empty when I walked in), when this cunt walked up with a scowl on her face, saying, "hey I'm busy here! this is MY spot". I looked over at the other empty stool and said, "I think THAT's your spot." Yelling - "NO THAT'S MY SPOT!! I ALWAYS SIT THERE!! BLAH BLAH BLAH" At this point all I'm hearing is a screeching version of the Peanuts adult drone voice. I take that as my cue to head back out and hustle somemore - no time for stoopid cunts like that ::)

Spotted a target right away. Moved in with the ass thing. He kinda pushed back against my ass just a little and wiggled in time with a huge grin on his face. Yep, he's mine. Chitchat for a bit, pop the question. To my surprise, he says come back later - he just got here and wants to check things out. Ok, I say I'll come back in a few and for him to have fun. I freshen my drink, mill around a bit with hips a-swayin, looking for another target. Nada. Tough crowd. I spend a couple more songs milling around toward the back, then head back to my dude. I just KNOW he'll buy.

Some other chic is trying to hustle him when I walk up behind him, but he's shooing her away. Yay. I waste no time, slide up and just slide right into his lap. Literally. I like to slide on. Slow, for emphasis. Shove my cleavage right up under his face, and ask him if he's ready to play yet. He hemhaws around for about 10 seconds, to which I say "well you told me to come back", with a slight pouty lip and pushing my cleavage toward him more. He hesitates, I rub his thigh. He starts to come around, I can see it on his face. He says he's still shopping, but I'm on the top of his list. I say "well we might as well go for it then, no need to waste time, right?" As I'm nodding my head yes. "Ok." Me: "Yay!" Grab him and truck his ass back there, fondling his ass all the way. He likes.

One dance and a bunch of grunting later, he informs me he's got $200 with my name on it, if I'll spend the rest of the night with him. There's less than an hour to go and the crowd is less than stellar, so I happily agree. YAY! That puts me just over my goal. yay.

We spend the rest of the time chatting about whatever, with dances spread throughout. He had a sarcastic sense of humour similar to mine, so it was pretty fun. Then, with about 20 minutes to go, I was trying to clean my fogged-up glasses with his shirt tail, and the fucken things broke! WTF?? I am nearsighted and can't see in the dark for shit. I thought about it for a second, and just started laughing. How damn retarded is it, that the stripper's glasses break as she's trying to clean them with your shirttail, and grinding the side of her ass against your boner to the point you're slack-jawed and drooling?

We both just started making blind stripper jokes and cracking up laughing. There was really nothing else to do. I'd said something smartass earlier about being the oldest stripper in the building, so we started joking about the old blind stripper he had to walk to the front at the end of the night because she couldn't see. And how I could duck tape my glasses and be like the Revenge of the Nerd, the nerdy stripper. Etc. I suck at telling jokes, so I'm sure this doesn't seem all that funny. But when a situation is happening, I can actually be pretty funny. In that wise-cracking, smartass sorta way. And he liked it. So fuck YOU if you don't think it's funny :P

Anyway, nice end to the night, even if I did have to drive home with one hand holding my glasses together on my face and one hand on the wheel. I'm sure the guy at Jack in the Box is still wondering wtf my problem was LOL

Walked with $360, and I've superglued my glasses since getting home. Superglue: world's greatest invention!!!

azdd
08-26-2006, 07:12 AM
Good god Ms. B, you are truly one of the jedi masters of stripping..... When you visit Phoenix in November, I hope I have the opportunity for you to use the force on me. Your mastery of all things SS would truly be something to enjoy (along with that incredible ass and cleavage combo you use so effectively......)

CarGuy
08-26-2006, 06:18 PM
I agree....I love the sales approach...it is stellar. I am in sales and the "Nod your head thing" works. It sounds funny and all that...but if you nod your head the other will follow. I love your style Bridgette. The Pinkies should sticky these two NATOS and label it:
How to sell, bank, and keep out of the drama"...Just get to work...LOL