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FBR
12-02-2007, 04:16 PM
When I worked last week I had a customer insist on giving me an airplane ride. I agreed largely because I wanted to know if they would let us. I'm sure everyone in that bar must hate it when I work. I bring out the crazy in people.

So.

I assume he had a pilot so you two could do whatever. I mean here in the US of A if a plane is flying erratically it would draw attention from the radar dudes and ultimately the DHS.

FBR

Jenny
12-02-2007, 04:21 PM
No, I meant in a playroom, goofing off kind of way. You know I would never get into an airborne vehicle alone with a customer. That's just unsafe.

FBR
12-02-2007, 04:32 PM
Jenny, I thought you were frisky and brave enough to take him up on it. I had no idea it was some faux customer crap.

FBR

Jenny
12-02-2007, 04:41 PM
No, no, no - I mean like an airplane - like when you balance a person on your feet.

Yes, seriously. I told you - I bring out the crazy.

Interestingly enough, when he asked, it didn't even momentarily occur to me that he had flown to the club.

FBR
12-02-2007, 04:46 PM
No, no, no - I mean like an airplane - like when you balance a person on your feet.

Yes, seriously. I told you - I bring out the crazy.

Interestingly enough, when he asked, it didn't even momentarily occur to me that he had flown to the club.Jenny, I'm sorry...I totally didn't get that. But I do think that my imaginings of you two flying the friendly skies could be more interesting :)

FBR

Susan Wayward
12-03-2007, 12:17 AM
Well, that's easier than you giving him one, right?

I danced for a customer today who didn't speak a lot of English. The whole time I was dancing for him he kept pointing to his mouth saying "Leeps? Leeeeps?" and trying to get me to kiss him on the mouth. "Leeeps? Leeeps?" I figured it was the only word he knew in English.

Then when we were done and I was putting my dress on, he turned to me and said, "Telephone number?" Hee. Two more words.

Howie
12-03-2007, 07:01 PM
I wish the girls would put a little more effort in keeping us up to date with their NATOs.

FBR
12-03-2007, 07:51 PM
I wish the girls would put a little more effort in keeping us up to date with their NATOs. I agree but the NATOs we do get are pretty entertaining.

Remember Amber76? I just got a PM from her. She stripping again so maybe she will stoke up this thread. She asked me to tell you guys hi.

Amber76 is one of my ATF Blue strippers.

FBR

Susan Wayward
12-04-2007, 02:24 AM
I wish the girls would put a little more effort in keeping us up to date with their NATOs.

And we wish y'all would tip us better when we share them! *rimshot*

Shit, I have a blog, so do twenty other strippers on the site. It doesn't take a hell of a lot of effort to read about a stripper's night at work with a few minutes spent clicking.

Howie
12-04-2007, 05:04 PM
And we wish y'all would tip us better when we share them! *rimshot*

Shit, I have a blog, so do twenty other strippers on the site. It doesn't take a hell of a lot of effort to read about a stripper's night at work with a few minutes spent clicking.

Maybe they could cut and paste? Then again, fuck it. Don't do us any favors. Sorry I asked.

Casual Observer
12-05-2007, 05:34 PM
When I worked last week I had a customer insist on giving me an airplane ride.

Wow. What the hell are they thinking about...?

Mastridonicus
12-05-2007, 07:35 PM
^^ Think more on the noise an airplane makes. :D

MoniD
12-05-2007, 08:13 PM
Hmm...this has me thinking about how awesome it would be to have a fly-in strip club. What a great destination that would be for private pilots.

I can see it now: We have The $100 hamburger (http://www.100dollarhamburger.com/), and The $500 round of golf (http://www.amazon.com/500-Round-Golf-Pilot-Friendly-Courses/dp/0071409734/ref=pd_sim_b_title_2), how about the $10,000 strip club visit!

Jenny
12-06-2007, 01:11 AM
Wow. What the hell are they thinking about...?
Well my thought process was "I wonder if anyone would stop us from doing this." Maybe his was the same.

Jenny
12-14-2007, 08:55 AM
Not last night, but the night before:
C -so how many was that?
J -that was six.
C -that was not six!
J -no, that was six.
C -there is no way that was only six.
J -that was six. I did let you touch me during the break song. Just because I like you and I value your business.
C -that seemed like more than six.
J - Okay; you can pay me for more dances if you want to. I will accept extra money.
C -Well, I'll definitely pay you for more dances.
J -Okay. We'll look upon that as a tip. Thank you.

You know - sometimes these arguments don't go the way you expect them to.

ColetteCalahan
12-14-2007, 09:21 AM
^^^ hahaha... that's definitely the most dancer-positive dance-counting argument I've ever heard. Wow. ;D

Smokeless
12-14-2007, 02:40 PM
They have pedometers for counting steps while walking. You think there might be a market for a lapometer?

mollyzmoon
12-14-2007, 05:11 PM
Not last night, but the night before:
C -so how many was that?
J -that was six.
C -that was not six!
J -no, that was six.
C -there is no way that was only six.
J -that was six. I did let you touch me during the break song. Just because I like you and I value your business.
C -that seemed like more than six.
J - Okay; you can pay me for more dances if you want to. I will accept extra money.
C -Well, I'll definitely pay you for more dances.
J -Okay. We'll look upon that as a tip. Thank you.

You know - sometimes these arguments don't go the way you expect them to.

Wow, you have way more integrity than I do. When they overcount, I silently consider it a tip. I guess I am honest when they ask. Then I will tell them how many dances it actually was. But if they just pay, sans questions, then I let it be.

Jenny
01-04-2008, 10:37 AM
It's been a while since I've done a douchebag NATO.

So last night I actually had to yell at a customer to make him leave me alone. Like not because I was angry or irritable (although I eventually got angry and irritable) - just because he wouldn't leave me alone. As much as you may all think I'm a shrill harpie, it actually offends my sense of the orderly movement of the universe when something just cannot be explained in a way that they will understand without yelling.

So: backstory. Former regular. One day decided that he wanted to take up my time and not buy dances. Needless to say - this does not make a good business relationship. Keep in mind that I do not provide the kind of dance experience that really encourages you to forget that you are paying me. I don't say "maybe, I'll call you, no I swear I'll call this time" when guys ask me out. I say "I can't do that - then why would you bother paying to come back to see me here?" So - the regular does not get any more time from me - I wasn't impolite about (although I admit I was somewhat irritated). Last night he asks to sit down for a drink and I asked "And if I do that, it will be followed by dances?" (keep in mind - dude has deliberately wasted my time before).
Him: "No. Not today"
Me: [smile nicely] Then you know I can't do that; come on - you know how we work here
Him: Yeah I know how you work here. [while clinging desperately to my hand]
Me: Okay then - you have a nice night, okay? [I extract my hand - with some difficulty - and leave]

Now you'd think that this was pretty clear - I mean, reasonably polite (in the context of a strip club - I appreciate in another environment saying "Look, I'm not hanging with you unless you pay me" might not be so polite) but not at all consisting of mixed signals or anything, right? Not so. He proceeds to stalk around the bar all night. He walks by and stops and listens to every conversation I have with every customer. He tries to watch me giving dances. He did this for HOURS. And I pretend to not notice him, because I don't know what to do about it. A customer even said "that guy keeps walking by and staring at you. Does he want a dance?" (And I, rather embarrassingly, had to say "No. He doesn't. He just wants me to sit at his table and share his giant beer.") A few hours later he approaches again:
Him: I know you have to work here. But I'd really like to spend time with you. How about if you meet me after work? Or give me your number?
Me: No. If I give customers my number, they will not likely pay money to come back and see me here.
Him: I know, but I'm like, one in a hundred customers.
Me: No, thank you. I don't want to do that. [because when all else fails I just like to take away all excuses so they have nothing to try to fix. And I realized here that he was just eavesdropping on me talking with another customer with whom I had been social in the past]. I have to go on stage. Have a nice night, okay?

After my stage I do a couple of dances and then I'm sitting at the bar waiting to go on stage again (yes, towards the end of the night I went on stage in rapid succession. All the customers were all: we just SAW her) He comes up AGAIN. The following exchange took about 4 songs - somewhere in the vicinity of 14 or 15 minutes.
Him: I'm a little more sober now
me: Well, good for you.
Him: You're just sitting here. You should be working.
Me: How about if you don't tell me how to do my job?
Him: Okay - I'm not even going to touch that one.
Me: Alright good. Have a nice night, okay? [I know - the Jenny dismissal. You'd think I was trained by Starbucks]
Him: I know I said before that I was one in a hundred customers - how about if I was one in FIVE hundred customers
Me: Look - [no more smiling. I am now very serious in the facial expression] I am not going to change my mind on this.
Him: Okay, you're not going to change your mind. But if you won't give me your number, I'll just get it in a sideways way
Me: I'm sorry [I'm all "did he just tell me that he is going to stalk me?"]
Him: Well I have a friend in your [fake] program at school. I'll just tell her that I met a really nice girl... and I MAYBE won't say what kind of bar it is...
Me: Hm. I don't think it is very acceptable behaviour to get my phone surreptitiously if I've refused to give it you. That would just mean that I would have to change it. [Still using polite tone - but very clear.]
Him: I didn't mean for that to sound creepy.
Me: That sounded very, very creepy.
Him: I didn't mean it.
Me: Okay. Then we'll just forget it ever happened [I'm lying. I'm pissed and I'm not going to forget it happened. Dude just threatened to bust me in my fake life. Makes me glad I'm such a liar. But I don't want to have a conflict with this guy - because conflict just starts a relationship with these people.] You have a nice night, okay?
Him: Okay. Good night, Tina [Tina is not my stage name]
Me: Okay. Good night [Thank god he is leaving! I don't care about the name.]
Him: Come on - give me a name. I just called you "tina" [I don't get it either]
Me: No. Why don't you just tell me your name, and I'll say Good Bye again
Him: It's ___
Me: Okay ___ - Good bye.
Him: I just have one more questions...
Me: No. There are no more questions. There is nothing else you need to know about me. Good. Bye. [I have gotten out the quiet but very serious voice people use when they are trying to not yell at you]
Him: But just five things...
Me: No. Good bye ___.
Him: You'll make more money if you listen to me [and I refrained from snapping "You want to tell me how to do my job? You can't even put on a clean sweatshirt, you idiot!"]
Me: Look. I don't want advice right now. Right now I need you to leave me alone. Good bye.
Him: Okay. [I wait. He fidgets with his coat and doesn't put it on]
Me: Good bye ___.
Him: I'm going [he's not]. I'm sorry I called you "Tina". That was kind of rude.
Me: It's okay.
Him: It was pretty rude.
Me: I really don't care. Good bye.
Him: Just one more moment...
Me: No. No more moments. I need you to leave me alone.
Him: Okay [doesn't move] But if you...
Me: No. I need you to leave me alone. [if you don't feel this adequately fills up 15 minutes you can just insert a further random selection of "But.." and "If you just..." and "Good bye now" and "You need to leave me alone now" in about here.]
Him: Okay. I'm going. I'm going to go sit over here.
Me: Alright. Bye.
Him: Just over here.
Me: As long as it is not with me.
[doesn't move. Again]
Him: You're not normally here this late...
Me: ___! You have to leave me alone. Now. Right now. Leave me alone. [Still not yelling. But I don't guess you could call it polite anymore. And he crinkled up his eyes and looks at me all sad and agonized like - and that just makes me more mad because I'm a wuss and I very readily feel bad when I've made other people feel bad. But come on - dude threatened to stalk me and out me if I wouldn't meet with him. Like feeling bad about that is just not going to happen. It's just not.]
Him: starts talking about whatever he thinks I should do with my high energy; he's sort of talking over me.
Me: No.. Look... stop. Stop it. Please just leave me alone.
[at this point he reaches out for my hand. I snatch it far, far away and actually yell] Just get the fuck away from me, okay?
He does more crinkly eyes and I actually turn my head and put a hand up next to my face so I can't see him. I can see, however, the people sitting across from us who have been witnessing this exchange. Their little eyes and darting back and forth between us - and I sure hope they came in that night to see a stripper being harassed to point of losing it. Otherwise - they were disappointed. When their eyes stop moving, I assume he is gone. I lower my hand and look over. Nope. Still there. Starts talking again. I jerk my head back around and pull up the hand (like a 5 year old. I can't see you. I can't see you.) At that point I'm called to the stage. And I am really, really irritable. I hope down from my barstool, hand still shielding my eyes from the douchebag's person. He stayed until the end of the show and tried to intercept me on my normal route to get re-dressed. I, however, at this point anticipated this and sneakily took another route and just got dressed and went home.

And he's willing to go through all this trouble to get my attention and time rather than buy a stupid $20 dance. Idiot.

Lapaholic
01-04-2008, 11:00 AM
Wow what a drag! Couldn't u have had a bouncer put him out ..? Just curious, I assume thats part of their job - right? U seem very tolerant of douchebags - except on SW of course ;)

lestat1
01-04-2008, 05:28 PM
^^^ I was thinking the same thing.

I love reading about men more socially-inept than me. It makes me feel normal in the same sort of way that watching Jerry Springer does. :)

Jay Zeno
01-04-2008, 05:33 PM
Yeah, lestat, we consider ourselves:

PL




This guy was:


PfuckingL


Entertaining report, Jenny. Good visuals. Holding the hand up to the face, blinder style, putting it down, putting it back up, he's still there.... great stuff.

lestat1
01-04-2008, 05:39 PM
^^^ LOL Exactly!

crizgolfer
01-04-2008, 05:56 PM
Wow...what a NATO...sounds like you had a rough night Jenny. Why don't you sit down next to crizgolfer for a while and relax. I don't want to buy any dances or anything though...;)

FBR
01-04-2008, 06:25 PM
Jenny, I believe you spent all that time with an obnoxious customer (as opposed to just walking away or having a bouncer eject him) so that you could post a NATO about it for our enjoyment. Thank you. To the occasional blue baller who complains about your presence here I suggest that your willingness to endure such unpleasantness for us (almost Christ-like in a way minus the resurrection) slams the door on all their supposed arguments.

FBR

Jenny
01-04-2008, 06:42 PM
Yes, FBR, that was it. It was all for you, baby.

Seriously, it is actually my own vanity. I have difficulty believing in situations that I can't handle by myself. It's usually only an hour after the fact that it occurs to me that I should have fetched me a bouncer and that someone else could have handled it more effectively. The trouble with being a feminist, right?

Katrine
01-04-2008, 07:56 PM
Ugh, that story made me wince. I've been there before. Sometimes you think you have a handle on things until its too late. Yuppers. Hindsight 20/20, right?

Next time he comes in, I would make a scene and make him look and feel like the world's greatest douchebag and leave crying with his tail between his legs.

There is NOTHING in the world worse than a time-wasting uber PL like that.

Docido
01-04-2008, 08:02 PM
Jenny, I think you treated him like a he was a sensible and reasonable human being. The only problem is that approach doesn't work with self-involved asshats who try to manipulate and pressure you. He sounds like a potential stalker to me. Be careful.

Casual Observer
01-06-2008, 06:52 AM
Christ on a bicycle Jenny, why didn't you just have his ass thrown out?

You know, I'm sure there's a clause in the Feminist Manifesto that let's you use Patriarchal power to eject losers from your immediate vicinity, particularly when they're impacting your money.

Jenny
01-06-2008, 10:49 AM
I know. I'm an idiot.

Phil-W
01-06-2008, 12:10 PM
Sounds like Mr PL spent some time rehearsing the conversation in his head before he got to the SC, convinced himself that Jenny would say 'yes' to some of his requests, then couldn't believe it wasn't going according to script.

Also got to have been socially inept not to have gotten the hint that Jenny really didn't want him around.

Next time Jenny, I think you should tell him you have this castration fetish, and could you please meet him OTC to fulfill it?

Phil.

GenWar
01-06-2008, 04:48 PM
And he's willing to go through all this trouble to get my attention and time rather than buy a stupid $20 dance. Idiot.

Well...there's a couple of answers for this...

1) He didn't have $20. Sounds illogical...I mean, who goes to the club when they're broke? But, this is the most likely reason.
2) He's in love. First PL rule when you want to take the relationship to REAL LIFE, as opposed to Dancer<->Customer, is to STOP spending money. She'll never see you as a real potential relationship as long as you are still patronizing her as a stripper.
3) The trouble IS the goal. Maybe he's had enough of the dances. Maybe what he really wants is drama. I mean, this would explain why he didn't drop it after the most stubborn and idiotic of the PLs would have moved on.

No matter how you slice it, this guy is done. Nothing can save him. So, like they said, no need to worry about his feelings. He's abandoned that simple human curteousy quite voluntarily. Kick `em to the curb. Literally.

-gen

Jenny
01-13-2008, 11:43 AM
Have I ever mentioned that during slow periods the girls get batshit crazy?

So. Last week. I was chatting up these two guys; honestly I didn't think they were going buy much, but you know. I'm not proud. I've closed my sale, and at that, like, exact moment this new girl crashes my table. Okay. 2 guys, 1 girl. I was working both of them - but ultimately that is just greedy, and anyway, I know that traditionally guys don't really like to share. So no problem. She tries to upsell them - but, in such a way as we see no increased profit. She is essentially trying to make them pay a higher cover charge of which we see 0. Okay this is stupid. And because she does this we spend like an extra 4 songs making this sale, on what is going to be (I anticipate) a 3 song customer. But again - you know, she obviously thinks that she can sell more if she moves them down the stairs. Okay fine. And of course, I could have just pushed my own sale. I didn't need to be all "we're all in this together". So alright. I can take responsibility for that. The guy told me that he hadn't had a dance since 1989 and asked me what it consisted of. I told him where he could touch and where he couldn't in clear terms that would make sense to a biologist. We all go down the stairs and we begin to dance. He tries to kiss me. I told him that he couldn't do that. He turned to his buddy and says "Is she giving you a bunch of new rules?"
Now. It is true that I didn't say "no kissing." Honestly - I thought that was pretty intuitive. I respond to him "Well, I thought that rule was pretty intuitive." he says something to the effect of "Oh you did, did you?" and we continue dancing. He buys three dances, and gets increasingly agitated. At the end of the third he says "I think we're done here" kind of impolitely. I get up and get dressed and then see what he has been looking at. His friend and the other dancer were... well, not obeying the "no fluids" rule. I was actually a little pissed off - like you crashed my table, nearly tanked my sale and then exchange fluids? Come on. But it was also kind of funny, because the guy was so mad. I started laughing a little; I would normally have said "Well, gosh. This is actually a little embarrassing." But he was actually pretty mad at me so I went with "Okay, you have a good night. Thanks. Bye now" and took off.
In case anyone is wondering - other girl sold one extra dance. Extras at the three song mark don't pay.

Later. A guy agrees to buy a dance and walks up the stairs with me (in case anyone is wondering - there are many stairs at my club). On the staircase, after he paid the cover a girl stops him. Like grabs his arm stops him. "What are you doing?"
Poor guy is... well doesn't know how to respond. I say "We're headed up for a dance. See you later." She stares at him with narrowed eyes. "I was talking to you before." At this point I'm eying the guy a little - like "what? what? Is he a pedophile? Did he try to buy your tampon? Spit in your hair? What? What?" But I'm trying to eye him subtly - because unless it's really bad, I still need the money. Alas - she comes out with nothing so deviant. Merely "You told me that you weren't going to get dances today." Dude is blushing - not because he is inexperienced and shy, but because it is not easy for everyone to be impolite and he doesn't know what to say that is polite to that. I ran my hand down his arm, displacing her hand (although she was holding on) and took his hand and said "Well, you know. I'm very persuasive." And we continued upstairs. I did stop about halfway; turned to him and said "Well. That was weird. Does that happen to you all the time?" (We had been talking about weird exes earlier... it was very funny, just trust me) and he laughed and seemed to forget about it. When he said he'd come back next Wednesday I promised not to do that if he got dances from someone else. I told him I'd just blow up his car without making a scene.

3-Legged Man
01-13-2008, 01:11 PM
Gee, Jenny, maybe you could introduce that second girl to the guy you wrote about last week....

Jay Zeno
01-13-2008, 02:44 PM
I think Jenny gets some kind of virtual award for keeping the NATO reports alive, and with entertaining tales. It'd be nice to see other dancers inspired to tell their stories.

FBR
01-13-2008, 03:43 PM
^^ Agreed. Thanks Jenny :) Visions of her car bombing a customer (in satire) in order to be polite cracked me up :P

We've had several other dancers pop into Blue recently and post. I think they should just take the plunge and lay some NATO on us. If not for our benefit, it would take some pressure off of Jenny.

FBR

Casual Observer
01-13-2008, 05:51 PM
^ Agreed. For all our ostensibly perversion down here in the Blue dungeon, it seems like all the pervy trolls are in Pink as of late.

Jenny
01-14-2008, 06:08 AM
It is true, my friends. While the weeks following New Year's lead to weird and/or wonderful events to Nato I am beginning to feel much pressure. I am now on strike until another girl posts.

I just checked but I can't find a picket sign smiley.

crizgolfer
01-14-2008, 06:15 AM
Here you go....at least you can change your avatar...

Lapaholic
01-14-2008, 08:40 AM
THis?


16311

I_luv_dancers!
01-14-2008, 09:03 AM
Ok, Jenny's on strike - but who's going to go over to the pink side and recruit some NATO's?

That would go over like a fart in church. I for one will admit that I lack sufficient ballage and pinkie respect to do it. Maybe one of you guys who are more popular over in pink.......

Lola Rose
01-14-2008, 12:50 PM
Hi Guys.

my NATO report (btw- it took me like 10 minutes to figure nato means night at the office)

Me and another dancer, who, coincidentially, looks fairly similar to me, are sitting in the back of vip, chatting. it is dead. We'll call her Tina. We're both big breasted brunettes, both with long straight hair, and lots and lots of makeup on. We both have a clearly feminine, higher pitched voice, and are short, with defined hourglass figures. We were often mistaken for one another. We were also wearing black gowns, not the same, but similar.

Some guy comes up to us, and asks if he can sit down. I'm thinking He better spend money. I can tell tina is too. I say sure. I reach out my hand, and say I'm lola. This is my best friend Tina. We start chit chatting, and he asks about vip. We tell him the prices, and the rules, he's an easy sale. She says how much fun it is, and that he should keep us all night. her and I are being more flirty towards eachother the whole time. We can tell this dude is into it.

He agrees, and prepays for the whole night. I'm shocked. He leaves to go to the bathroom, and tina and I talk about how to get this guy to spend more or comeback another night. We're both excited, b/c we just got paid for 5 hours in vip. And 15 minutes before we were hoping to walk out with 250$. lol.

He walks back in, and sort of.... winks.... like wierdly. I ask if he's ok. He says ya. But he's grinning like a fool and winking like an idiot. she asks him what he's in town for, and he says for buisness. All the time, he's still winking like he's got a twitch. I assume that's the case, and don't say anything. We spend the whole time drinking, chatting, dancing. Everyone had fun. He winked the whole 5 hours.

At the end of the night he asks us to come back the next night. Tina asked for a deposit, and he gave us both money to insure we knew he'd actually be there.

Same thing happened. We talked for about 5 min, then went into vip. Same thing, he was normal untill we got into vip, then the winking happened again.

Next night, same deal (it's his las night in town) No winking, untill we're in vip, then it's nonstop..... at last call, I told him we had a going away gift for him. And we both gave him our panties. Then tina asked if he has something for us, and he tipped us both :)

Then, they play the last song of the night, and we say our goodbyes, and I was really sad to see him go. He was so generous, and fun to talk to as well. It was a great 3 nights. He looks like he's got something to say. "wait" we wait. He says...."I don't get it...."

I ask what he doesn't get.

he says he thought he'd get more then that in vip.

I say "well we told you what vip was like the first day you were here. I thought you had fun" (nothing like a little stripper guilt to quiet the call for extras)

"I did"

"Awww, good. I had fun to" I say. Tina said " We had so much fun. I hope you come back to visit us next time!"

He says "But didn't you get the winking!!!!?"

omg. I want to laugh so bad. I just look confused, so does Tina. I don't know what to say. tina said "what winking? I don't know what you're talking about"

I lean in to peck him on the cheek. She gets the other one.

Bye. and we walked away.

omg. I have never laughed so hard! I am amazed I held it back till I got to the DR.

wow.

Lola Rose
01-14-2008, 12:51 PM
wow. That's long.

Howie
01-14-2008, 01:43 PM
And we wish y'all would tip us better when we share them! *rimshot*

Shit, I have a blog, so do twenty other strippers on the site. It doesn't take a hell of a lot of effort to read about a stripper's night at work with a few minutes spent clicking.

Last time I made a request regarding NATOs I got the above comment. I'll never ask a pinkie for anything.

Callyish
01-14-2008, 03:08 PM
Oh boy I have so many stories but this is my latest one that im laughing over. It was originally posted on pink side but I'll throw it over here as well.

So I was doing a one night gig in a town just outside Winnipeg. This is a gig I usually love, the guys are cool, the staff is fun and its just chill(plus they let me do short sets!).

Well I was doing my second show, DJ announces me and no one claps. So I go on stage and jump up n down clapping my hands type deal trying to get guys into it.

No reaction.

I laugh and jokingly say 'you all suck'.

Buddy in front row looks at me and goes 'well what the fuck did you want us to do?'

Yea this was starting off in a bad way.

So show goes on and the girl goes on about how she thinks she could out dance me on the pole and I suck.

I ignore it..

Then as im doing my pole work they start throwing loonies(dollar coins) and quarters on the stage.

Again I ignore it.

Well they kept it up and started calling me a dirty whore.

So with my back to them they start throwing coins at me and I grab them tossing them over my shoulder.

They get pissed off and start screaming 'get this fat talentless bitch off stage she sucks!'

By this point the bouncer had warned them.

I got mad and climbed to the top of the pole and sat there and look at the DJ like 'this isn't gonna work'

Then they start throwing coins at my head.

I got pissed off and stormed off stage still in my thong and bra.

They were kicked out(and banned) from the bar. As they were being tossed out they were screaming how the bar sucks and im an ugly slut and can't dance.

What the fuck ever.

Best part is as I was walking off stage this guy sitting at the side goes 'smartest thing you could do right now'.

Im laughing about it like crazy now and when I went to hang out with the customers after we were all laughing at how stupid some people can be.

Bob_Loblaw
01-14-2008, 08:21 PM
I just checked but I can't find a picket sign smiley.

http://gprime.net/board/images/smilies/protest.gif

Lapaholic
01-14-2008, 08:31 PM
:thanx:

Lola ;) And Callyish

ColetteCalahan
01-15-2008, 05:51 PM
A (Terrible, Horrible, No-Good Very Bad) Day at the Office (well... I suppose I'm exaggerating... ;D )

I do believe that football is a dayshift dancer's worst nightmare. I usually look forward to Sundays... not only are the shifts two hours shorter, but the money is generally fairly decent, and there are often quite a number of regulars. However, it seems lately as though football has sucked the life out of Sundays and left everyone thoroughly hungover for the next day. This Monday was dead as a doornail. Not only were there (at most) six guys in the club at a time, but because of recent firings/quittings/general club dynamism, there are only seven girls left scheduled on Mondays. Seven girls + constant stage rotation + lack of tipping/enthusiastic customers = sore, sore stripper knees and very pissed off dancers.

There also happened to be a new girl yesterday... from her makeup, amazing figure, well-planned stripper garb and ridiculously ginormous implants that could easily claim their own planetary system; it was obvious she was no stranger to the industry. (Unfortunately, her hair was a horrific mass of matted extensions that looked like a rat's nest rubbed through with turtle wax, but I suppose her plan was to divert the eyes elsewhere, and it seemed to work quite well.) How terribly unfair.... :(

The first customer I recognized in the club was 'Sven.' Sven is one of the most annoying, repugnant regulars I believe the club has... a lawyer who will happily tell you about his nightly sexual escapades with different women he meets at work, synagogue, and other rather 'fantastic' (i.e. well-paid :P ) places... Not only must you kiss his ass about how remarkable his career and sexual magnetism are, but you must tell him in explicit detail just what a dirty little slut you are and how much (and in what way) you'd like to do every other dancer in the place.

I abhor guys like that... I can give... 'above average' dances while still selling them on sardonic wit and overextended metaphor... I can't stand the 'I'm a submissive little ho, finger my butt and slap me around daddy!' sales tactic. The men (my club is very much based on regulars) I connect with and end up sticking with (and actually enjoy/tolerate spending time with @ the club) are those whose personalities don't share similar properties with Ipecac.

Since I was not in the mood to deal with Sven and he had recently shorted (a HUGE no-no in my club, where bed dances are 50 and tipping is highly encouraged) two of the other dancers on shift, no one was even bothering to approach him. I tipped off RatNestBreast girl to his preferences ("tell him you fantasize about choir girls") and watched her sweet-talk him on the floor. Of course, I failed to mention that he's one of the guys that lies down on the couch and immediately unzips his pants with a shit-eating grin, revealing a ridiculously flaccid two-inch penis that somehow seems like the obvious ending to a really bad pun.

Three hours passed with perhaps seven guys through the door... RatNestBreast girl continued to make money off of starved regulars (the girls at my club are beautiful, fun, diverse and full of personality- but it is a VERY stable club, so new breasts, er, faces are rare & they usually make money) as the rest of us bemoaned the boring day... I listened to an hour's worth of Stripper-Intuition & Astrological Relationship Coaching in the dressing room, watched my 4'10 heavily-accented filipina co-worker attempt to smoke a cigarette in the bathroom for the first time and nearly die coughing, had a few stage sets where I moved like molasses on stage for the one or two guys at the back of the club and refused to throw in a half-hearted pole trick for free. Finally, around 4, one of my good customers came in and I was finally able to make more than seven dollars on stage. :P

After doing some dances and talking a while, we gossiped with another dancer about various websites and review pages (incl. SCL, Z-bone, etc.) and joked about who got what write-ups and why... my customer jokingly promised to start the rumor that we both gave fantastic head in the back. Gotta love a publicist.

After he left, one of the more amusing people came into the club at the end of his shift, watched my stage set, and left... the Pervy Cop. Yup... there is a rather cute policeman who frequents the club, parks in back, stands by the door, flirts with the dancers, scares the SHIT out of the customers who think the club is getting raided, rants about the idiots he's encountered that day, and leaves.

RatNestBreast seemed to be doing REALLY well with all of the club regs, incl. FannyPackMan who prefers Latina and 'exotic' looking women, and Gym Guy (another dancer's customer who goes to my gym... we chit-chat at 6 am before we see each other at the SC on saturdays... it's a little strange, but tolerable as long as his WIFE isn't at the gym!), who was wearing the one dress shirt he owns (the most ugly maroon thing... the man lacks fashion sense entirely) instead of his usual I-just-went-to-24hrfitness-and-smell-like-it-too!-garb.

During my last stage set, three young guys came in and started tipping heavily. Thank GAWd. I believe when I left there were 8 guys in the club at one time. From the looks of the dance chart, RatNestBreast had made about four times as much as any other girl on shift, incl. all of the hustlers.... I had the second highest dance count, but the disparity was just too ridiculous for anything to matter. Plus, the bitch imported from her old club. Smart.

Moral of the story? Upgrade to DD's like rocket launchers, rob a homeless man of his dreadlocks and rub them onto head so they stay with grease and static cling. Proceed in to work. Bank.

crizgolfer
01-15-2008, 06:11 PM
Very enjoyable reading. Thank you ladies!

You all ROCK!

SportsWriter2
01-15-2008, 06:56 PM
Way to recruit, JZ. You found some real writing talent. I think CC is going to win my Best Namer award for January. :)