View Full Version : A Night at the Office
Jenny
02-13-2008, 11:00 AM
Let me start off by saying: none of you all have any idea how hard it is being me.
Okay. Got that out of the way.
So I'm just going to skip to the best part: this guy - young, cute enough but not, like, crazy was staring at me. I stroll on over, make brief conversation and ask if he wants a dance. He says "definitely later" - fair enough. He's brushing me off or he might (unlikely) grab me later; that's okay, I tell him to have a nice night. He continues to stare a bit, but not such that it is creepy. Like, okay, he enjoys the view. Once when I walked by I leaned over and said "Dude - you're staring" and he laughed and said he couldn't help it. Later on I happen to notice (hey, it wasn't busy; I notice these things) that he got dances from another girl. Again - fair enough. He is allowed to choose which stripper best meets his needs (even if I think he's totally wrong). So, about an hour later the waitress tells me that he wants me. I'm all "Oh hey - the one time "maybe later" pays off."
The "maybe later" did not pay off.
He informs me that he doesn't know what it is, but there is a lot of "chemistry" between us and that he'd really like to see me. At this point I interrupt and say "Im sorry, are you asking me out right now?" He replies in the affirmative. "Seriously?" More affirmation. "And this is why you called me over here?" Yes, it was.
What the hell is with that? The Roommate says that it is because he "respects" me and doesn't want to think of me "like a stripper". Leaving aside the fact that I don't believe that from a hole in the head - who would find that "respectful"? It comes across (as are my thoughts on the matter) that the other girls is the one he needs to pay for whereas I'm someone he should be able to get for free.
Now - I absolutely respect his right to think that; like he is allowed to have whatever ideas he wants on our respective attractiveness. But... doesn't it seem like kind of a losing approach? The "you're not worth spending $20 on... would you like to have sex with me for free? I can just about muster up an erection for you and I doubt you have better options." Who would go for that? I was tempted to ask him how little self-respect I looked like I had; because I'm clearly giving off the wrong vibe. I settled for a "no."
hockeybobby
02-13-2008, 03:21 PM
Maybe the guy is thinking that if he buys some dances from you, you will brand him a customer and a source of income, thereby taking himself out of the game. I think I've read something about that here in SCJ or on the Pink side. The rationale being that the girl (you in this case) will try like hell to keep the money coming from a customer, but if buying dances was never an issue, he might have a better chance to see you OTC, since there is no loss of income.
Now, I think if a girl is interested, she can easily get over the money part, nevertheless, it appears your guy has taken the other tack and got shot down.
What if he shows up again, buys some dances since he's obviously interested in you...then asks you out again. Would you reconsider?
hb
Jenny
02-13-2008, 03:39 PM
Maybe the guy is thinking that if he buys some dances from you, you will brand him a customer and a source of income, thereby taking himself out of the game. I think I've read something about that here in SCJ or on the Pink side. The rationale being that the girl (you in this case) will try like hell to keep the money coming from a customer, but if buying dances was never an issue, he might have a better chance to see you OTC, since there is no loss of income.
And I've said repeatedly that it is a stupid strategy, exactly because it elicits the feelings I outlined above; I kind of wonder what any guy is thinking when he is all "I'll just offend her sense of self-respect (or, depending on how you want to characterize it, pride or vanity) so that she won't worry about losing my patronage as a customer". Losing strategy. Particularly (although not exclusively) when you pair it with actually buying dances from someone else. That is actually a full out "are you KIDDING me?" situation; like how could you possible even think that I would, even briefly, consider going out with you when you reject me in favour of someone else? Seriously - I would never say something like to a guy and expect him to be okay with it. "Hey... I have nothing better to do... yeah, all the guys I'm REALLY attracted to are busy... so can I come over?"
Now, I think if a girl is interested, she can easily get over the money part, nevertheless, it appears your guy has taken the other tack and got shot down.
What if he shows up again, buys some dances since he's obviously interested in you...then asks you out again. Would you reconsider?
hb
No. He offended me.
hockeybobby
02-13-2008, 05:20 PM
Your logic as usual is impecable Jenny.
As interesting as the guy asking you out scenario was/is...I was intrigued as much, or more by this:
Let me start off by saying: none of you all have any idea how hard it is being me.
hb
I totally see Jenny's point and agree with her. If she wanted a date or to give a guy a free fuck she would find another venue for that, most likely.
hb, I don't think Jenny is struggling with self image or anything like that. I'm confident her self esteem is just fine even though she jokes about herself. I just think she finds the approach the guy used annoying and insulting. I suspect she would be more likely to bang him if he paid for her work services as opposed to him coming to a place where money is clearly the whole point and trying to get by on the cheap.
FBR
3-Legged Man
02-15-2008, 04:48 AM
On the other hand, how many times have we read "I'd never go out with a customer"? So this guy may have thought that he'd take his chances against the incredible odds and ask her out before crossing the acquaintence/customer line. He tried, he failed. It wouldn't surprise me if he now starts paying for dances, settling for an ITC relationship, as that's the only option available now.
Phil-W
02-15-2008, 07:24 PM
From my experience of such things, dancers mentally pigeonhole people into two broad categories: "customer" and "friend". The two elicit different forms of behaviour.
If you're in the "customer" category, a dancer has no problem getting naked for you - it's part of the job description, and she has the associated mental attitude to suit.
If you're in the "friend" category, then a dancer has a different mental attitude - it's suddenly a lot more difficult for her to start waving the finer points of her anatomy at you.
I'll give you the example of a dancer I know. I've known her for years, and will help her out with lifts home from work - as a consequence I've seen her naked hundreds of times. She's in a bedsit at the moment, and if she wants to change will ask me to pop outside and get her something at the shop, etc - she's uncomfortable with me even seeing her in her bra outside of the work environment.
So yeah, I think there's a lot of truth in the "dancers don't date customers" adage. Start buying dances and the possibility of a dancer becoming a friend/gf definately starts to recede off over the horizon.
However, knowing that does not make it a good strategy to employ in a strip venue. They're not a dating agency, and most dancers have zero interest in seeing customers OTC for anything other than commercial reasons.
So I can see why Jenny was offended by the guy - if you come into a venue, you're there to indulge your curiosity, not get phone numbers. Jenny's there to work, and she's got a reasonable expectation that if a guy finds her attractive, he's going to be curious enough to buy a dance or two (or three).
And not buying dances from Jenny while buying some from another dancer was definately a losing strategy. Showed he was interested in the T & A on offer (which revealed his motivations) while simultaneously trying to pull a "we have a chemistry between us" stroke with Jenny.
Now he could at least have done her the courtesy of saying "I respect you too much to buy dances from you, but I will pay for your convo".
A better strategy and the way to Jenny's heart?
Phil.
Jay Zeno
02-16-2008, 06:59 AM
If you're in the "friend" category, then a dancer has a different mental attitude - it's suddenly a lot more difficult for her to start waving the finer points of her anatomy at you.
I'll give you the example of a dancer I know.
Another example. The best friend I made with a dancer. Met her OTC a few times (as friends, not for sex). She had no problem waving the finer points of her anatomy at me in the club. In fact, she appeared to relish it.
hockeybobby
02-16-2008, 07:44 AM
<snip>
And not buying dances from Jenny while buying some from another dancer was definately a losing strategy. Showed he was interested in the T & A on offer (which revealed his motivations) while simultaneously trying to pull a "we have a chemistry between us" stroke with Jenny.
Now he could at least have done her the courtesy of saying "I respect you too much to buy dances from you, but I will pay for your convo".
A better strategy and the way to Jenny's heart?
Phil.
I think a dude is going to have to have a lot more going for him than just a clever strategy. I don't think Jenny can be tricked. She's wise to us. ;)
hb
Jay Zeno
02-16-2008, 03:23 PM
I have friends who are lawyers. When I seek legal advice from them, I pay them. The same thing with a couple doctor friends. Yet it's not strange to be friends with them on one hand and respect their work life on the other.
That's about it for me. Feel free to answer, and then let's let the thread get back to NATO's.
Phil-W
02-16-2008, 03:43 PM
^^^
Difficult one, I guess.
We're all different and we all have different ideas of what we look for in friends.
What works for me might not work for you and vice versa.
And now back to the NATO's
Phil.
WhiteTara
02-16-2008, 05:27 PM
This is my first NATO effort. Really it’s more of an afternoon at the office for me because I work day shifts. My club serves food and booze and is a topless club with only bikini dances. We used to get quite a large lunch crowd, but it has tapered off lately. Day shift is still a good time to meet regulars who require a bit more attention, however, and a girl can make plenty in stage tips from the diners.
Arrived at noon to two tables full of blue-collar he-men on their lunch break. They all had a couple of beers in ‘em and were hollering “where the girls at?!” Fortunately, I always arrive fully made up so all I had to do was change and get out on the floor. There were four other girls in the back, but only one was close to dressed.
I like to go on stage as soon as possible when I get to work. It helps me get into character. I usually play something sultry for my first set. Depeche Mode’s “Dirt” does it for me today. The guys are grateful to have someone or something to throw their dollars at before they go back to work so they tip me plentifully and then leave.
I’m prepared for a long night of loneliness because it’s been slow, yesterday was Valentine’s and Monday is President’s. But my favorite, favorite (FAVORITE) regular comes in, walks up to me at the bar and orders an apple martini. Aaaah, happiness! He’s a for sure $200. Also, sexy, polite and sexy. He tells me dirty stories while we lose track of time and stare at each other. I barely move in his lap. Just drape across him and breathe. His eyes are intensely blue; I get lost in them every time. Did I mention he’s sexy? When he’s ready to leave it’s always like “Okay, thanks. See you later!” Strange after the erotic energy we always stir up. $200 and tips me $40. After he leaves I literally have to cool off and take a break.
Around 3 it really starts to pick up. Guys take off work a bit early and start to get their drink on. I get a dance here and a dance there. A couple of young guys wave twenties at me. I get passed around, give them all a dance or two and fend off their feeble, “Let’s hang out” and “What are you doing later?”
A fiftieth birthday party comes in drunk and on their way to a tee time. The boys want to find a cute dancer to ‘take care of’ their buddy. The birthday boy has on shorts which expose legs so hairy I actually recoil at the sight of them. It’s a thick, black, coarse hair like a gorilla. Ugh. Yep, he wants his lap dance from me. Oh, I’m gonna earn my money on this one. And I do, but not the way I think. First thing birthday boy does once we get to the lapdance area is honk my boob like a clown’s nose. Um. No. “Okay, sorry. Didn’t know what the rules were.” Yes, you did, you tard. You even commented about how everything is out in the open here and there are cameras everywhere. So I start again. Birthday boy grabs my bikini bottoms and give me a melvin. “You’re still covered if I do this!” So I say, “Look, you’re going to get me fired. Cut it out.” Then I airdance the rest of the song and say “Thanks” at the end and don’t offer another one. Jerk.
I’m starting to get tired and irritable. The crowd changes the later it gets. They get drunker and want ass-clapping hip hop dancers who suit the rowdy mood a little better. Time for me to go home and soak in the tub. Of course, as I’m leaving dressed in sweats I get the inevitable “Aww, you’re leaving? I wanted to get a dance from you…” Uh huh.
hockeybobby
02-16-2008, 05:36 PM
Nice job WT. I'm a lunch-time dayshift club goer, so it's nice to hear from a lady who works that shift. One of the benefits I like about going for lunch is I never have any competition for a girl. I'm frequently the only guy there. It makes for a very relaxed time.
thanks for the NaTO :)
hb
Enjoyed the NATO, Tara. Thanks :)
Uh, whats a Melvin??
FBR
crizgolfer
02-16-2008, 06:04 PM
Very enjoyable read Tara. Thanks!
FBR...I am shocked that you do not know what a Melvin is!:O
Pssssst.....Tara....what the hell is a Melvin?/:O
Very enjoyable read Tara. Thanks!
FBR...I am shocked that you do not know what a Melvin is!:O
Pssssst.....Tara....what the hell is a Melvin?/:O
Well, criz, I suppose I could have googled it...but I wanted her to tell us...in great detail. Pictures optional but welcome }:D
FBR
WhiteTara
02-16-2008, 06:52 PM
Not much to explain in detail but I'll go slow and whisper: It's a w-e-d-g-i-e.
crizgolfer
02-16-2008, 07:05 PM
Whoa...she spelled it out. Too bad none of us guys down here can read...;)
Bob_Loblaw
02-16-2008, 07:11 PM
LOL, I can't remember the last time I heard it referred to as a Melvin.
Nice DATO Tara
Susan Wayward
02-16-2008, 07:28 PM
I thought a melvin was a wedgie in the front?
WhiteTara
02-16-2008, 08:03 PM
I never knew a wedgie in front was called anything, but I looked it up on Wiki and it said:
• "Melvin", slang for a wedgie that is given in the front instead of the back (or in some circles, any wedgie)
Guess I'm in the 'some circles' category:-\ .
^^ Just a wedgie? Eh, forget the picture request.
Thanks Susan and Tara for the clarification, though. I thought it might have been some illegal sex act }:D
FBR
Jay Zeno
02-16-2008, 09:26 PM
Did you guys never watch the "Bill & Ted" sequel? Well, OK, it wasn't very good, but even I knew what a Melvin is. That's what they did to get the Grim Reaper distracted.
crizgolfer
02-16-2008, 09:56 PM
Jay Z....I would have seen the Bill & Ted sequel...but...I am sure I had "anything" else to do...;D
I only saw the first adventure.
FBR
Jay Zeno
02-16-2008, 10:50 PM
OK. Fine.
You didn't miss anything. I liked the first one. For the second one, I want that 90 minutes of my life back. I'll grant them one minute for telling me what a Melvin is.
Bob_Loblaw
02-17-2008, 12:12 AM
^^ Just a wedgie? Eh, forget the picture request.
Hey now, don't be so quick to dismiss!
Casual Observer
02-17-2008, 12:17 PM
Nice NATO, WT.
<S> WT
On the other hand, how many times have we read "I'd never go out with a customer"? So this guy may have thought that he'd take his chances against the incredible odds and ask her out before crossing the acquaintence/customer line.
But given the odds you've already stated are incredible, wouldn't it be smarter to err on the side of respecting her professional status and/or fiduciary requirements in an effort to curry favor? I'm not saying you need to drop $1K on the girl, but at least don't waste her time.
Besides, you're ignoring the principle that even if you're a customer, if a dancer has non-P4P OTC interest in you, she'll be the first to let you know.
3-Legged Man
02-17-2008, 02:13 PM
Good points, CO. I actually think Phil W had the right idea that in this instance, the customer might have improved his chances by paying for some time that did not involve in actually receiving dances. In any case, the odds are still ridiculously long.
Jenny
02-17-2008, 02:26 PM
Okay, for me, personally -
the odds are somewhat long for the obvious reason that even if I wanted to date a customer every day of the week, it is going to be a fairly small proportional number. It's really more that refusing to buy a dance completely kills any possible chance than buying improves them (and for me, Phil, coming into a strip club and being too good to buy dances doesn't make you look cool. When you walk into the club you are a customer; you don't get to be 'better' than other customers because you're a poser). So I wouldn't recommend buying a dance hoping for a date; I just also really, really wouldn't recommend looking for a date having rejected me first.
hockeybobby
02-17-2008, 02:47 PM
Jenny is in the customer has a chance camp. I suspect this camp is larger than is represented on the pink side, but it's just not PC to admit it over there.
hb
Jenny
02-17-2008, 02:55 PM
Most girls on the pink side will admit to having dated a customer or two. But... let me put it to you this way: if I went around telling customers that, yes, customers had a chance knowing that a customer might have a chance, but that it was pretty damn low, particularly in their case... is that giving off a true impression? Sometimes, for the intent and purpose at hand "we don't date customers" is truer than "we sometimes date customers". I tell lots of guys at work that I don't date customers because I don't want to date them.
hockeybobby
02-17-2008, 03:14 PM
You simply have a sensible point of view about it Jenny, which is likely shared by most of your fellow dancers...because (omg) dancers are sensible people too.
The subject gets micro analysed on SW, but it's an obsession of us junkies.
hb
hockeybobby
02-17-2008, 03:17 PM
Most girls on the pink side will admit to having dated a customer or two. But... let me put it to you this way: if I went around telling customers that, yes, customers had a chance knowing that a customer might have a chance, but that it was pretty damn low, particularly in their case... is that giving off a true impression? Sometimes, for the intent and purpose at hand "we don't date customers" is truer than "we sometimes date customers". I tell lots of guys at work that I don't date customers because I don't want to date them.
I don't think this can even qualify as a fib. It's just a kind way of rejecting someone...while allowing them to have the dignity to continue to be your customer.
hb
Phil-W
02-17-2008, 03:47 PM
(and for me, Phil, coming into a strip club and being too good to buy dances doesn't make you look cool. When you walk into the club you are a customer; you don't get to be 'better' than other customers because you're a poser). So I wouldn't recommend buying a dance hoping for a date; I just also really, really wouldn't recommend looking for a date having rejected me first.
Ah the great catch 22 of the "date the dancer" game.
Not spending makes you look cheap/as if you're rejecting the dancer and spending regularly puts you into the "customer category", which promptly reduces your chance of a date anyway.
Don't know if you've every played that prisoner's dilemma game much beloved of psychologists, but the potted verson goes like this.
You and an accomplice are captured in a robbery and put in separate cells in a police station. Head of police comes in and offers you the same deal that is being offered to your accomplice.
(a) There's plenty of circumstantial evidence, so if you both plead innocence, you'll still be convicted and get 2 years in jail.
(b) If you plead guilty and implicate your accomplice who pleads innocence you'll walk and he'll get 5 years.
(c) If you plead innocence, and he pleads guilty and implicates you, he walks free and you get 5 years.
(d) If you both plead guilty, you'll get a sentence of 4 years.
So - as the game goes - what do you plead? For example, what if you plead guilty in the hope that your partner in crime will plead innocent - meaning you walk free. However, if your partner has a similar idea as well and also pleads guilty, you both get 4 years.
On the other hand if you plead innocent hoping he does also and you only get 2 years, he walks by pleading guilty.
All sorts of strategies there - which to choose?
Must be possible to come up with a similar "stripper's dilemma" game, where you have the potential of getting an OTC date or being treated like a PL depending on the choices both you and a dancer make.
Be interesting to play if someone can come up with some rules.
Phil.
Jenny
02-17-2008, 03:57 PM
Ah the great catch 22 of the "date the dancer" game.
Not spending makes you look cheap/as if you're rejecting the dancer and spending regularly puts you into the "customer category", which promptly reduces your chance of a date anyway. I'm not sure if you are misunderstanding me or just ignoring me; you are a customer when you walk into the club as anything but an employee. If you are a customer who rejects me you have zero percent chance of getting a date. If you are a customer who does not reject me, are someone that I like and find attractive (in more than the generic sense) and someone that I enjoy dancing for your chances for a date improve. This is not a catch-22. It starts off at zero - customer who declines to spend money, regardless of any other personal characteristics and gradually gets higher. I think one would be a pretty stupid human being if one imagines that a woman's interest is excited by rejection; maybe this is a catch-22 for the exceptionally stupid? Well - I don't want to date them anyway.
Phil-W
02-17-2008, 04:03 PM
I'm not sure if you are misunderstanding me or just ignoring me.
(a) Misunderstanding you - but am clear now. Sorry.
and
(b) Was wandering off on a tangent of my own. I've played "prisoners dilemma" on training courses and was suddenly intrigued by an on-line version here.
Phil.
hockeybobby
02-17-2008, 05:31 PM
Is it just me, or is anyone else at least curious about Jenny's face-slap guy experience? I mean, I'm just trying to picture how that negotiation went...
hb
Jay Zeno
02-18-2008, 09:51 PM
Touché! Good catch.
Susan Wayward
02-23-2008, 11:27 AM
This is not A Night at the Office; it's A Morning in the Locker Room.
I'm in North Dakota working a booking at a small-town club. There happens to be an adult rec league hockey tournament in town. One of those teams hired me to give them a very special pep talk this morning, which is how I found myself driving past barns to the local fairgrounds this morning. When I arrived I called the ringleader and they sent someone out to meet me and get me into the locker room.
You guys probably know what a locker room smells like, especially a hockey one. It's pretty, uh, musty in there. There were twelve Canadians in their twenties, a boombox, and a bunch of sticks. Oh, and a lot of beer. This was the kind of game where the players were shotgunning Keystones before playing.
I'd come in wearing my tearaway denim hotpants and gingham bikini top underneath my jeans and sweater, plus there wasn't really anywhere to "change," so I hopped up on a bench, peeled off my street clothes, put my heels on, lit my candles, and started lapdancing around the room for boys in pads. While giving them a motivational talk, of course.
ND clubs are only topless, so the money shot for the private show is the fact that I can actually get naked (Canadians expect nothing less, even though these guys were from the one province in CA with zero strip clubs). So here I was in knee socks and high heels, standing on the benches around the locker room, before it was even 10:30 a.m.
After that, I had a few minutes to take the candles and use them to make little wax molds of my most feminine characteristics, a couple of which were stuck to hockey sticks for luck (the wax, not my bits).
Contrary to the trend I've noticed, the goalie was the best-looking guy on the team, a real cutie of a brunette. I had to pay extra attention to him, being he's the most important guy on the team.
After my pep talk I was handed a jersey and headed out to the bench for the game where my duties included flashing goal scorers. We won!
Best party ever. I doubt I will ever get professionally naked in such an interesting venue again.
Lunarobverse
02-23-2008, 11:31 AM
Wow. That almost makes me want to try out for organized sports.
Hey, are you going to be back in Portland in time for the Shamrock Run? I might need an inspirational talk before that race. :)
Susan Wayward
02-23-2008, 11:58 AM
I probably won't - that sounds like a St. Patrick's thing? I'm going to be in Portland for about four days before I head to Austin for the SXSW film and music fests, so will be there at least two weeks. Yay! More Austin stripperfesting, hopefully.
Lunarobverse
02-23-2008, 12:22 PM
Yeah, Shamrock Run is on March 16th.
Aw, man. I'd love to hit SXSW this year! I'm so jealous.
sun child
02-23-2008, 08:31 PM
Wow you rock Susan!
Katrine
02-23-2008, 09:12 PM
Susan is pretty much my favorite human. She's like a lion and a tiger mixed... bred for her skills in magic.
hockeybobby
02-24-2008, 03:10 PM
Oh man, that is so cool. My buds and I could have used you this weekend Susan. We lacked the appropriate inspiration judging by our sucky results.
That's pretty game of you to go into a hockey locker room and dance for the boys. I mean, most of the change rooms I've been in are gross, embarassingly wretched places.
Thumbs up to you Susan. ;)
hb
Lapaholic
02-24-2008, 05:28 PM
Susan, I admire your ability to work thru the smell - Ive been in a hockey dressing room ( I was a goalie dad - for those who know that's a tuff job!!! ) and saying its musty is being very nice. Blech!!!
Susan is a wordsmith. I enjoy all her NATO's but especially those with a different spin to them. I bet the overeager Canuke hockeyboys whipped it out and started stroking when you were in heels and knee socks and nothing else...you were just too nice to say so. In deference to our Canadian members of course ;)
FBR
hockeybobby
02-24-2008, 05:50 PM
Susan is a wordsmith. I enjoy all her NATO's but especially those with a different spin to them. I bet the overeager Canuke hockeyboys whipped it out and started stroking when you were in heels and knee socks and nothing else...you were just too nice to say so. In deference to our Canadian members of course ;)
FBR
You know, in a back-handed, twisted kind of way, if they had actually done that FBR it would have been an extreme tribute to Susan's hotness. You see, Canadian lads are just too polite for that sort of thing...unless the hotness was simply too much, even for a superior-bred male. ;)
hb
Susan Wayward
02-24-2008, 10:43 PM
No hockey bukakke for me.
They didn't try to lay a finger on me, much less whip it out, very much living up to their national standard of politeness. SK boys don't get to see a lot of strippers; it's the one province where strip clubs are illegal in CA. Though I tossed them my thong before I left, and saw one of them pull it on and start stuffing his junk into it. I thought about hanging out for the showers.}:D