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SportsWriter2
02-29-2004, 10:16 PM
This was a real situation, in many ways a guy's parallel to a dancer being offered a car. I have posted the same situation and question on the Pink Site.

I met a beautiful young dancer who gave me her real name, address, phone number and e-mail address on her dollar bill. We've e-mailed several times, done an IM session, and seen each other in the club. This past week she offered to meet me at a hotel for sex - free with no strings attached. She says all I have to do is pick a time and place. This dancer is younger - not quite 20 - and she's very very nice for the most part. She has told me a great deal about herself, including her sad childhood. I know that she has no STD's and she makes bank, so she doesn't want money.... I guess what I'd like to ask is what would you do if this were offered to you? Part of me feels guilty for even considering it. I have a really nice girlfriend. The dancer knows that, but she has been very caring anyway and just wants to do this to feel close to me.... She also mentioned that I'm the kind of guy she always wanted as a father. I like her, and so do the other girls who work with her. I have had offers from other dancers in the past, but never one so soon and explicit as this. My most serious concern is that she might secretly be psycho.

Oh yeah, one more thing, I did tell my buddies about this, and they said, "This is every guy's dream. Go for it even if she's psycho."

What would you advise?

DancerTiffany
02-29-2004, 10:30 PM
I dont think that you should cheat on your girlfriend. But if you have or are already cheating then go for it. Theres nothing wrong with having sex for fun and you seem to like this dancer. So why not? She's not calling you a hundred times a day or leaving you tons of emails or saying she loves you right? Then she doesnt sound too psycho to me.

Malibu
03-01-2004, 08:38 AM
I replied to this on the Pink site. But I will reiterate - please do not sleep with her. To me, she sounds like little girl lost and those are one of the hardest breeds of girls to get rid of. I honestly don't see this as no strings attached for long. The calls will just get heavier and she'll be in yer face ALL the time! But hey, if you feel the same way about her, then at least break it off with you GF first. I wouldn't sleep with anyone while I'm in a relationship, even if it was on it's last legs.

sander8son
03-01-2004, 08:42 AM
yah, or how about you toss nick a bone. im sure he could play her father figure.

Brel
03-01-2004, 09:10 AM
How could you not? I mean, seriously, your friends are right. She's old enough to make up her own mind, she's not a "little girl". Go for it.

Spanky
03-01-2004, 01:12 PM
As hard as it may be to pass this up, I think that is the safe thing to do. You are in a good relationship, is the dancer worth risking that? She said you are a father figure - sounds like she may be haviing some issues. But it doesn't sound like a basis for a long term relationship, so is short term fling worth risking your girlfriend?

Dude, this is tough. But only you know how you could deal with this coming back and impacting your current relationship.

But it is a nice problem to deal with -- good luck! ???

Moneywise
03-01-2004, 01:56 PM
She also mentioned that I'm the kind of guy she always wanted as a father.


Bro,

You have given good advice my way. Now it's time for me to reciprocate. As much as I am sure we would all like to be in your predicament please proceed with caution. That statement alone tosses up a big red flag. Unless you're prepared for the fallout, which would probably include escalated attempts at communication possibly to the point of annoyance, please be very careful. You just never know where this one could go. Remember the movie Fatal Attraction? That scared the bejeezus out of me. Misery is another one. I know you value your ability to walk right? lol..j/k man. I'm sure you get my point.

MW

Kittie
03-01-2004, 03:43 PM
I would be really wary of this situation if I were you. I read your post over again to be sure I had read right. Okay so this girl:
1. Knows you have a girlfriend but pushes for contact outside of the club.
2. Gave you her real name, address etc.
3. Thinks of you as the father she always wanted.
4. Told you her sad childhood.
5. Wants to fuck you for fuck you for free.

Hmmm........now, I'm no psychiatrist or anything......yet, BUT, if I were you I would RUN, don't walk, away from this girl. Don't get dances from her, shit don't go to that club anymore. Find a new one. And change your email and IM info. ASAP. This chick is a psycho and a half. OMG, I mean, she thinks of you as a father figure but wants to fuck you? Psycho. She said she wants to be closer to you? Okay, but when will your girlfriend begin to interfere with her being as close s she wants to you? And what kind of drama or damage can she think of to get rid of your GF or make your girlfriend leave you when she feels it's time for HER to be your GF?

Definitely stay away from this one. I know pussy's great and everything, but sometimes it's just not worth it.

FBR
03-01-2004, 04:47 PM
This thread has the aroma of a little Sporty humor ::) but on the off chance that it is true Id say just be careful. By raising the possibility, you have already accepted that fact thats shes pyscho or soon to be. I cant believe Im saying this but I think Id pass on this one. You have plenty other women who like their hair pulled who dont have one foot in the loony bin :P

FBR

SportsWriter2
03-02-2004, 11:01 AM
This actually happened to me three years ago. I wrote about it quickly, borrowing phrases and structure from Gynger's "new car" post.

I decided not to have sex with her. The movie "Fatal Attraction" presented a case of borderline personality disorder, sometimes called "daddy disorder" or "emotional hemophilia." Lacking a father's base love, BPD girls cannot modulate their emotions. It's more complex than that, but those are obvious signs.

This dancer had serious BPD. She e-mailed lots of love letters. She was euphoric when she was with me, but other girls would tell her I spent time with someone else on her day off just to make her cry. It was surreal.

I was impressed with the responses on both the pink and blue sites.

* People can become lonely and sexually vulnerable.

* Anyone can say they have no STDs. I would estimate that more than half of all dancers have HPV, the virus that causes genital warts. Several strains, most notably HPV-16, account for all cases of cervical cancer. A lot of HPV goes undetected.

* Free sex can be way more expensive than sex for money.

* If someone has sex to feel closer to another person, it's not "no strings attached."

I helped the dancer understand BPD. She eventually found a psychiatrist who handles such cases, but she fell in love with him and got VERY angry when he wouldn't accept a Christmans present from her. She stopped seeing him shortly thereafter.

yoda57us
03-02-2004, 04:09 PM
On the surface I wouldn't do it. It just sounds like an invitation to trouble. Only you know the maturity level of the woman in question Sporty. If you are asking us it sounds like you have your own doubts.

NikkiD
03-03-2004, 06:12 AM
Or maybe she's pregnant and needs a daddy to pin it on, even if only temporary...