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mobius7
03-08-2004, 05:01 PM
OK, I need you guy's/gal's opinion on this one. I have done a lot of reading on this site about stripper shit, and being cynical....but I think a dancer does like me. Here's why:

1. I've gotten dances from her about 5 times. She always remembers my name, and details about my life, work, etc...

2. She likes the same kinds of music/books as me, and likes to talk about them.

3. She gave me her phone #, and told me not to tell anyone, as she doesn't do that for customers.

4. She told me I'm handsome and fun to be with.

5. She seemed surprised when I told her I didn't have a girlfriend, and couldn't believe it was true.

6. She asked me to visit her often, even if I couldn't buy lots of dances every time, because she thinks I'm fun.

So...I'm finding myself sort of falling for her. I think it may be something real. Am I just stupid, or what?

Happy_Camper
03-08-2004, 05:49 PM
Well the first time she meets you outside the club should answer all your questions.

FBR
03-08-2004, 06:25 PM
Mobius, she may very well like you but if money is changing hands its business, bottom line. Like HC said, if she sees you outside the club and most importantly doesnt charge you, then, and only then, it may be something real. Been there, done that.

FBR

Richard_Head
03-08-2004, 06:52 PM
Hmmm, the cynic in me says she's very good at what she does, she's got you coming back for more and more doesn't she. I'm with the others, the only way you'll know for sure is to take the money out of the equation, try pushing for some out of the club activities (and I'm not talking you buying her stuff) and see how it goes. Don't get your hopes up though.

fishnet
03-08-2004, 07:05 PM
Well the first time she meets you outside the club should answer all your questions.


HC said it all. Let us know how it goes. :)

NVJosh
03-08-2004, 07:35 PM
Ditto...and don't be a wuss about it. Ask her out, take a risk. The worst she can say is no and you have to find a new ATF.

Richard_Head
03-08-2004, 07:46 PM
Josh, you may have answered this before but I can't recall, did you meet your wife at a strip club or was it elsewhere?

SportsWriter2
03-08-2004, 07:58 PM
Mobius, here's a half hour of my afternoon.

1. A pretty new girl on stage smiled sweetly and told me it was her birthday, so I offered her dances.

2. During the first two songs she grabbed my cock, fed me nipples, then humped herself off hard. During the last song she kept the tingle alive while she hugged and kissed me. She said she hadn't gotten off in a looong time, and that was a beautiful birthday present.

3. She told me she got fired from another club last week for swinging a barstool at a customer's face during a disagreement over the number of songs she danced: "I get mad when someone fucks me over."

4. She confessed that she was homeless, lived in a hotel, and just wanted to get laid on her birthday. She said I could do anything I wanted, even come on her face.

5. I touched her face, told her she was beautiful, then said I was so sorry, but I had a previous dinner engagement.

6. On the way to my next meeting, I called the housemom and suggested that she keep an eye on the pretty new girl, because she has borderline personality disorder.

Personal interactions in strip clubs are mostly surreal. Sometimes a dancer's intense feelings come from loneliness and mental illness. I try to have empathy.

sander8son
03-08-2004, 08:56 PM
Personal interactions in strip clubs are mostly surreal. Sometimes a dancer's intense feelings come from loneliness and mental illness. I try to have empathy.


more like, a dancer's intense feelings come from the desire to get your money, and their intuition taps into your mental illness and helps them figure out exactly how to extract your bucks from you.


oh yah, and no mobius she doesn't want you. she may like you...as in, i like having you as a customer. but thats it. "i want you to come in and see me", means i want your money, and you're a nice guy, so i'm willing to take it in little doses.

if she suggests seeing you for free outside of the club...then she likes you. and its not to say it wont get to that point. just very unlikely.

BAH-HUMBUG!

im in a pissy mood, as usual.

mobius7
03-08-2004, 09:45 PM
Wow....I feel like such a noob reading all of these replies. Thanks for the input. I guess years of experience help you keep your head out of the clouds, eh? Now I feel like I've been had....I'll be visiting the club tomorrow, so I'll do a little experimenting to see if I can figure out what she is thinking about me.

Off topic, but I've been checking out the pics of the dancers in the gallery over at stripperweb, and Lilith is SWEET! :)

Happy_Camper
03-08-2004, 10:31 PM
I am sure most of us have learned the hard way. Wish this site was around when I first started clubbing.

yoda57us
03-09-2004, 06:13 AM
Mobius: I consider myself to be a "cynical optimist" (kind of like "military intelligence"....I know, I know). I've heard every line this dancer gave you, I've heard a dancer say it to me and then say it to another customer sitting behind me (OK, she was REALLY stupid). On the other hand, I've formed wonderful and lasting realationships with 2 or 3 women that either did dance or continue to dance. There are no absolutes accept for one. You MUST remove money from the equation-buying dances, paying for time, shopping, paying bills, etc. If the dancer has a problem with this than she may think you are a nice guy, but you are nothing more than a customer to her.

aggieed
03-09-2004, 08:06 AM
Who, us, cynical? Hell yeah...pretty damn jaded too because it happens over and over again.

I have a couple of things to add to this thread. First, have you tried calling the phone number to see if it's real? I'm sure many of us have had a Paper Napkin Phone Number that didn't pan out. My favorite, about three years ago, was to a Floor and Tile company in Belton, Texas about 45 miles north of here. I laughed so hard when I found out I had been duped, but then again I really didn't care. She was a great kisser, and so easy to please. ;)

Second, I would personally rather keep this a business relationship even outside the club. Many, if not all, of these girls aren't looking to date customers. If I were you, I would ask her if she'd be interested in seeing you outside the club for private dances whether in your home or some other place of her choosing (like a hotel). If she agrees, start the negotiation process. Don't let her take too much of an advantage over you...it's like buying a car...never accept the first offer and make sure she understands what all is going to be involved...assuming, of course, if you want more than just dances (which is what I would push for)...whatever the both of you are comfortable with.

I should add that I'm very opposed to dating dancers myself. Been there, done that, and, as far as I'm concerned, will never do it again.

NVJosh
03-09-2004, 12:44 PM
Josh, you may have answered this before but I can't recall, did you meet your wife at a strip club or was it elsewhere?


We first met on an IRC chat. Now, it was a strip club related chat, so I knew she was a dancer from day 1. However, given that she lived 1,500 or so miles from me and because of our age difference, I don't think either one of us was looking for romance at the time. That just developed over time and I think the fact that we we started as friends rather than dancer/customer made the transition to a relationship easier.

The very first time I met her was at her club, and I did get dances from her. However, it was also kind of the only time we had to be together because of schedules and logistical issues, so I'm not sure how many other options we had. And yes, I was very PL and brought her gifts. In fact, her club had a lady who sold dancer clothes and I bought her a dress she liked very much. Last night she was going through some stuff and said "and here's the dress you bought me back when we first met." Romantic or pack-rat...you decide. :)

Niceguy
03-09-2004, 01:35 PM
Don't mean to sound cynical, but all that is pretty standard in regular development. The cell phone number is a necessary business tool for communication.
Remembering your name and details is part of regular customer development. Common interest can be pretended to build affinity. Woman are good at that and men aren't.
Real common interests are of course good. She's not going to say you look like Shrek and smell bad. The more you visit the more chance she has to clean you out and work on you to go to the ATM. Try it sometime and don't take alot of money along.

Conclusion: It's not real. When she doesn't give you her real phone number it means she lives with someone or has a husband. When she gives you a cell phone number that is standard. An e mail account is standard for customer development. More unusual. She gives you her real job e mail. This dangerous for her because corporate e mail is monitored. However its a great way to use someone elses time efficently and communicate with special customers who pay alot. Letting you know where she lives. Very unusual.
Having dinner inside her house. Very unusual. Going out to dinner and brunch unusual. Taking her out on her lunch hour. Means she trusts you to an extent. Meeting her co workers and mother. Now you are in the real world of her life.
If you are kept on the cell phone e mail communications barrier you are a regular in development. Just my opinion
based on some experience.

SportsWriter2
03-09-2004, 02:50 PM
On the other hand, mobius, you have a more caring relationship there in the SC than most married guys do in the real world. Enjoy it.

LapOfLuxury
03-09-2004, 07:24 PM
She may LIKE you, Mobius. But if she is selling you dances, it is extremely unlikely that she has ANY romantic interest in you. If you can't be happy with just being her customer (and possibly a bit of a friend), I'd recommend that you stop buying dances from her.

mobius7
03-10-2004, 07:00 AM
Well, I went and saw her yesterday, and now I'm more confused than ever. First off, I did try the phone # she gave me, and it was her cell phone. We talked for about 10 minutes, and she told me she 'knew' I'd be calling/coming in to visit her, because she'd been thinking so hard about me.

I will post my first trip report today to give more details, but it was the best trip ever! I didn't spend more than usual, but she was all over me! I did bring up meeting up sometime outside the club, and watched her closely to see how she would respond. Without even pausing, she said "Sure! How about lunch tomorrow?"

So, we have a lunch planned for later today. I keep thinking I'm getting a good vibe from her, but from what you all are telling me, it might just be her good stripper business moves. Sigh....we'll see.

sander8son
03-10-2004, 07:40 AM
mobius. I'll tell you, she DEFINATELY likes you. However, i can't say whether or not shes sexually interested in you, or just thinks you're a nice guy(a good guy to have as a regular). i think lunch will tell you more about it....a lot of women today pay their own way, but a customer would always pay for a dancer. so she how see reacts when the bill gets there.

even if she is just interested in you as a nice regular. that isn't so bad, especially if shes willing to have lunch with you from time to time or other out of club activities. but if that really is all, then just enjoy it and dont worry about sex. look for that elsewhere.

wow, whats wrong with me? that was almost an optimistic upbeat post.

Niceguy
03-10-2004, 12:35 PM
The outside lunch (outside of the in club restaurant) is a
fairly good sign. Unless she is psyhic she is not thinking that hard about you. Remember. It is all a fantasy, all a fantasy.

NVJosh
03-10-2004, 02:11 PM
Its funny, as old and jaded as I claim to be (and usually am), I'm also a hopeless romantic. Probably how I got hooked on SCs in the first place. All I have to say is take it as it comes and don't have any expectations. I don't think anyone here is clairvoyant or has telepathy, so they don't know what the future is going to bring or what she is thinking.

Does she like you? I dunno. Is it stripper shit? I dunno. Is she sexually interested in you? I dunno. Do guys fall hopelessly in love with dancers all the time? Okay...that one I know...sure, they do. RIL is a very real phenomenon. I also know thatyou'll find out more at lunch and more as the days go by as to how she really feels.

And...if you're feeling really bold, tell her "Look, I would love to go out with you, as in a date, not in a dancer hanging with a regular. I know we met in the club, and I never expected to develop any sort of feelings, and "boom" here I am."

You could also tell her you think that you're going to stop going to the club, because that's not the sort of relationship you want with her. Then you'll find out real quick where her interests lie.

Spanky
03-10-2004, 03:21 PM
Mobius,

First off, welcome to the site. Dude, if she is willing to meet you for lunch you have got a good thing going. Yeah MOST dancers don't want friends and for them it's all about the money and the friendship is just a game. But I think there are some who are open to being a friend albeit on a limited basis. If she gave you her real number and wants to do things away from the club, what's the issue? ???

Go for it, just make sure you're not commiting to something you're not comfortable with. By that I mean I don't know what your S/O status is. If you want to hide this from your girlfriend or wife be careful, this girl may be too clingy. You don't need Glenn Close cooking up a rabbit on your stove. If you're free than jump in friend, you hit the lotto! ;) Frankly, I'm jealous.

mobius7
03-10-2004, 05:09 PM
Lunch was very interesting....I'm going to put the info in the 'trip report' section as there isn't a 'lunch report' topic yet. :)

fishnet
03-10-2004, 05:15 PM
Perhaps the Drama thread would be more appropriate. I'm sure lunch was filled with drama. We just don't know if it was good or bad yet. LOL. ;)

Richard_Head
03-25-2004, 09:04 PM
Mobius, what's going on with your dancer? You can't leave us hangin like this >:(, that's not cool.

mobius7
03-26-2004, 06:33 AM
I guess I should have updated you all....I haven't been in the best mood about things, so I've avoided this site for a while.

Long story short, things didn't work out.

We did end up going out a few times, and on our 3rd date, I worked up the courage to make my move. We had some AWESOME sex, and I was really thinking things were going my way. However, the next night when I went over to her place, she told me she wanted to try something 'new.' I'm not the most experienced guy in the world, but I said 'ok, what?' Well, out from her room walks 2 OTHER GUYS!!! She says she wants all of us to do her at the same time. This just freaked me out, and I told her 'no thanks,' and left.

To each his own, but I guess I was looking for the more 'traditional' kind of boyfriend/girlfriend thing. I had no clue she was into this sort of thing. Not that there's anything wrong with that, its just not what I want.

We talked a few more times on the phone, nothing nasty was said to each other, but we both knew it wasn't going to work. :(

I haven't been back to the club, looking for a new one now. :)

I'm sure one day I'll look back and find something good to remember about this, but right now I'm still bummed.

SportsWriter2
03-26-2004, 07:36 AM
It's sad when you think you've connected, but it's really only about cock.... You could have claimed her face and walked out if anyone had a problem with that. Then you'd still have rep at her club, and you might meet a good girl who only does two at a time LOL.... Seriously man, I feel your pain. The only dancer I almost fell in love with turned out to be a gangbang girl. She lied about lots of things to connect, but she was so awesome for a month that I'm glad she lied.

sander8son
03-26-2004, 08:50 AM
You could have claimed her face and walked out if anyone had a problem with that. Then you'd still have rep at her club


???? what does that mean?

anyway mobius. looks like i was wrong. guess she did like you, and was looking for more than just money from you. so you can take sollice in that you somehow magically, against all the odds, were a customer who actually "got on the inside" and had sex with a dancer(for free mind you). the fact that shes into something like that isn't a big deal and wouldn't bother me, its the fact that she just sprung it on you in action, not in words. if she had talked about it with you and asked what you thought of that, wouldve been a more reasonable approach for her. hell, i wouldn't have minded if she couldve recruited 1 to 3 more girls for it.

that said, maybe she knew what your reaction would be and planned this as a way to break things off with you without having to actually break up with you. i dont know, just speculating now. but hey, you got laid by a hot girl, who could pretty much screw anyone she wants, congrats. im sure you can get even more girls just as hot as her. given time, you'll be over her and on to the next one. no worries.

NVJosh
03-26-2004, 04:17 PM
"Tis better to have loved and lost than never loved at all." Sorry it didn't work out, and who knows, maybe she'll think that a fellow LoTR geek is more important than three dicks at once.

My question would be, if you had the choice, would you have rather none of it happened? Its gotta ultimately be a confidence boost. So, get back out there and find someone even better.

FBR
03-26-2004, 04:53 PM
Mobius, an interesting end to your story. I didnt expect it...I was in the camp clamoring that all she wanted was your money LOL

I agree with Sandy that things would have gone smoother had she eased you into her predelictions rather than shocking the shit out of you. Im sure you would have still declined but in a more comfortable setting and you wouldnt be feeling so strange about it.

Two other guys, huh? Not my cup of tea either. But at least you got in the saddle once ;D It was just a shorter ride than expected.

FBR

mobius7
03-26-2004, 04:58 PM
I know that one day I'll be able to smugly look back and say "Yep, I had a one-nighter with the hottest babe I've ever seen" but right now I'm still feeling pissed. I actually liked her...damn it. :)

I'm just not into the whole 3 guy/1 gal thing...now if it had been 2 or 3 gals and me, that would be different.

I have no desire to visit any clubs now, but I'm sure that will change soon enough.

NVJosh
03-26-2004, 05:20 PM
Now, if the other 2 guys had been guys you recognized from her club, that would have just been creepy. lol

yoda57us
03-26-2004, 06:38 PM
chances are they were....

mr_punk
03-26-2004, 07:03 PM
she may have done you a huge favor by springing it on you like that, rather than a month or two down the line or she may not have been interested in relationship at all. perhaps, she just needed a third guy for her gangbang. in any case, consider yourself lucky because if you considered that flaky behavior, you haven't met enough strippers. :)

Richard_Head
03-26-2004, 08:27 PM
Damn, I wasn't expecting that. At least you got some hot sex out of it. I guess my question now is why are you writing her off, she's hot, she's into experimenting, just set some ground rules and get right back in there, maybe you could propose the 2-3 girl/one guy thing to her and see how she reacts, if she's into it you've hit the jackpot.

fishnet
03-26-2004, 08:57 PM
Damn, I wasn't expecting that. At least you got some hot sex out of it. I guess my question now is why are you writing her off, she's hot, she's into experimenting, just set some ground rules and get right back in there, maybe you could propose the 2-3 girl/one guy thing to her and see how she reacts, if she's into it you've hit the jackpot.


Now there is a man that thinks on his feet!!! ;D Unlike the man in his avatar. LMAO! ;)

Spanky
03-27-2004, 08:07 PM
RH - way to turm lemons into lemonade! good thinking my man!

SportsWriter2
03-28-2004, 06:18 PM
Sandy, when you're doing a 3on1 gangbang with 2 guys you don't know, tell them you want to fuck her face (that's what gangbang girls call it). She'll remember YOU, and the other two guys rubbing their balls against each other will just be dildos in her memory.... Once she's been there and done that, she'll only need a butt plug, dildo and YOU the next week. Sometimes girls just go through a phase, then they settle down. :)

pathfinder
03-31-2004, 11:11 PM
Anything more than a one-on-one turns me off. Glad you got away from that mess.

Moneywise
04-01-2004, 01:38 AM
Damn, I wasn't expecting that. At least you got some hot sex out of it. I guess my question now is why are you writing her off, she's hot, she's into experimenting, just set some ground rules and get right back in there, maybe you could propose the 2-3 girl/one guy thing to her and see how she reacts, if she's into it you've hit the jackpot.



Now there is a man that thinks on his feet!!!

Hell yeah fishnet! I was reading through all these smug responses and thinking to myself why not twist it up. If she was that hot I would have loaded up on the trojans and gone back in for some aggressive countermeasures.

I understand how you feel though Mobius. In some ways, I feel the same way you do right now. The life of a junky can get so scary sometimes. :-\

Then you wake up and hit the club again with a vengeance and all is seemingly forgotten. ;D

MW

yoda57us
04-01-2004, 05:12 PM
The bad thing about being an SCJ is that you can fall in lust and get your heart broken. The good thing about being an SCJ is that you can do it all over again with a new girl on your next visit...

GurlyGurl
04-07-2004, 09:04 AM
Of course she's going to tell you that she likes you. She's not going to call you a socially defunct, unwashed miscreant.

She's got her game face on. Call her on it.

Then and only then, will you really know if she likes you.

04-07-2004, 10:18 AM
GurlyGurl,

Did you read this thread, or just the topic?
Should he have called her on it before or after the "AWESOME sex" they had on the third date?

-V

yoda57us
04-07-2004, 01:28 PM
Vin: Lots of us respond to the topic without reading every post regarding that topic. I don't think there was any need for that comment.

Welcome GG, good to see you here.

Katrine
04-07-2004, 03:42 PM
tell them you want to fuck her face

coooo, coooo Sporty, my boy told me that last night, it was so H0T H0T H0t!!!!!

:thumbsup: :thumbsup:

sander8son
04-08-2004, 08:55 AM
oh GG is the gurlygurl i know? cool. what prompted her to join here? mustve missed my Sporty-Bashing.

GurlyGurl
04-30-2004, 05:56 AM
Hello Men, It's been a while since I've been on here.. hopefully I'll see you on :)

NVJosh
04-30-2004, 07:40 AM
Your white cat looks a lot like my white cat....so innoncent...until he gets pissed off. :)

yoda57us
04-30-2004, 06:23 PM
GG: Niiiiice Kitty....is that the help wanted or the real estate section?

SportsWriter2
04-30-2004, 08:03 PM
Providence Journal Help Wanted

DANCERS: Could earn $2,500 week. Clubs in CT and Bachelor Parties. 1-203-334-9285.