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Moneywise
03-16-2004, 07:33 AM
I simply frequent one club every Monday like clockwork, see one girl, and usually spend anywhere between $$1/2 and $$$ on her every visit. We have a BLAST and a 1/2 when we're together. Lately I have curtailed my visits b/c she has returned my interest with a mutual interest to see each other outside the club. However, this has not happened quite yet so I have decided to curtail my visits a bit to further promote phone conversation. Whether just to check up on her "allotment" or general concern of well being she calls after having not seen me for awhile.

On average I spend a grand to 1200 monthly on her. What might she consider me when not in my presence? Going straight from what I usually spend monthly to something considerably less is obviously a measured risk I must take. Ultimately I would like to expand on what we already have which is great conversation and a general enjoyment of each other's presence. Might the amount of money I spend on her inside the club affect any sort of relationship outside? ??? I'm just curious as to what your opinions might be. All opinions welcomed. ;)

MW

yoda57us
03-16-2004, 09:16 AM
Moneywise: I can only speak from personal experience here. I maintain friendships with several either retired or current dancers. Although none of them ever expressed concern to me about loss of my revenue if we bacame friends, it is an issue for most girls.
In my case, the meeting outside of the club was a suggestion on the dancer's part and I didn't have to cut-back my attendance or play any money games to get this to happen. I'll be honest here, I don't spend the kind of money uoi do on any one dancer. I made that mistake once and learned a valuable lesson about how neatly friendship and $$$ can be intertwined in some peoples minds....

Once I become close with a dancer outside I stop buying dances from her-in my opinion, if it doesn't feel wierd to ask a "friend" to dance naked for you, you aren't really friends.
As with all other aspects of the relationship, the "no more dances" thing is very much a mutual decision.

hope this helps.

mr_punk
03-16-2004, 11:37 AM
I simply frequent one club every Monday like clockwork, see one girl, and usually spend anywhere between $$1/2 and $$$ on her every visit. We have a BLAST and a 1/2 when we're together.well, at least you feel she's earning your money.



Lately I have curtailed my visits b/c she has returned my interest with a mutual interest to see each other outside the club. However, this has not happened quite yet so I have decided to curtail my visits a bit to further promote phone conversation.so, you asked her out and she stated that she's interested but a date hasn't been set, is that correct? if so, why not? is there a problem on her end or yours? in any case, a phone conversation is just that, a phone conversation. i wouldn't attach too much importance to a phone conversation centered around her "well being". strippers give out phone numbers (to regular customers) all the time.



Might the amount of money I spend on her inside the club affect any sort of relationship outside?that's a sucker move. generally speaking, that's not a good practice and the only person who comes out ahead is the dancer. show some patience at the plate. there is no need to swing for the fences every at bat. dancers make bank off PLs who think spending a lot of upfront money will get him somewhere. futhermore, if a PL doesn't have that idea in his head, then she will try to give him that impression. only spend what you're most comfortable spending. in time, you'll learn how to quickly identify the dancers who really want to earn your money verus the dancers who do not. when you can do that, feel free to swing at the big fat pitch over the middle of the plate for the grand salami. to do otherwise, is about as appealing as starting a bonfire using a stack of $50 bills.

Moneywise
03-16-2004, 12:47 PM
I simply frequent one club every Monday like clockwork, see one girl, and usually spend anywhere between $$1/2 and $$$ on her every visit. We have a BLAST and a 1/2 when we're together.

well, at least you feel she's earning your money.

LOL. Tru dat. That’s surely one way of looking at it. I usually spend approx $ on drinks between the two of us and tips then the other $$ in the VIP room. The $$ VIP money is going to stop. I have totally shifted the mindset after realizing that continuing to buy LDs doesn’t do much to promote any “friendship”.



Lately I have curtailed my visits b/c she has returned my interest with a mutual interest to see each other outside the club. However, this has not happened quite yet so I have decided to curtail my visits a bit to further promote phone conversation.

so, you asked her out and she stated that she's interested but a date hasn't been set, is that correct? if so, why not? is there a problem on her end or yours? in any case, a phone conversation is just that, a phone conversation. i wouldn't attach too much importance to a phone conversation centered around her "well being". strippers give out phone numbers (to regular customers) all the time.
Her. She has plenty that keeps her busy during the day. (kids) She talks about them all the time to me usually after I have asked how they’re doing. I wouldn’t mind meeting them one day. For now they’re more important than lunch with any man. That’s the way it should be.





Might the amount of money I spend on her inside the club affect any sort of relationship outside?

that's a sucker move. generally speaking, that's not a good practice and the only person who comes out ahead is the dancer. show some patience at the plate. there is no need to swing for the fences every at bat. dancers make bank off PLs who think spending a lot of upfront money will get him somewhere. futhermore, if a PL doesn't have that idea in his head, then she will try to give him that impression. only spend what you're most comfortable spending. in time, you'll learn how to quickly identify the dancers who really want to earn your money verus the dancers who do not. when you can do that, feel free to swing at the big fat pitch over the middle of the plate for the grand salami. to do otherwise, is about as appealing as starting a bonfire using a stack of $50 bills.


Perhaps you misunderstood my question or else I didn’t convey it properly. When I asked “Might the amount of money I spend on her inside the club affect any sort of relationship outside?” I was wondering if the loss of income would affect her view towards MW the man/friend vs. MW the “customer”. I already know the answer to that one and will deal with it in my own special way.

Thanks for the replies fellas. ;)

MW

mr_punk
03-16-2004, 02:20 PM
Her. She has plenty that keeps her busy during the day. (kids) She talks about them all the time to me usually after I have asked how they’re doing. I wouldn’t mind meeting them one day. For now they’re more important than lunch with any man. That’s the way it should be.you want to meet the kids? i hope things work out for you. you know, she could drag out "i'm busy with the kids" for months with no end in sight.


Perhaps you misunderstood my question or else I didn’t convey it properly. When I asked “Might the amount of money I spend on her inside the club affect any sort of relationship outside?” I was wondering if the loss of income would affect her view towards MW the man/friend vs. MW the “customer”. I already know the answer to that one and will deal with it in my own special way.sorry about that and to answer your question that's the general theory around here. if she likes you, then she won't take your money. of course, that's not quite true. strippers always need someone to pick up the check and you'll pay for the rest of it by putting up with her flakey behavior :). of course, you can always get around that by becoming unemployed and learning to play a musical instrument ;).

so, you're friends now, you want to meet the kids and she hasn't, at the very least, met you for lunch? i might be wrong, but strippers usually have very flexible schedules. of course, i may be wrong in this instance. however, you seem to be putting a lot of faith in a woman whom you know little about other than what she told you in the club or over the phone. a little paranoia is good attempting to deal with dancers on a more personal level. it just means you're being careful.





From: Trevor
Subject: ASSC: Dancer Dating REAL Horror Story.
Newsgroups: alt.sex.strip-clubs
View this article only
Date: 2000/06/18


You call that a horror story? Being stood up? Get a life. Anyone who
hasn't been stood up by a dancer has never asked one out. But you did
get me to delurk after many years. Let me tell you a REAL horror
story. All names and places are omitted because I know she's on the
net.

I travel a lot, and SC a lot, all over the country (Tampa being one of
my faves, but it's not in this story), and have for years and years
(and so knew better). A couple of years ago, on a trip about 500 miles
from home but in a city where I used to live, I met a dancer at an
upscale club known for a very high proportion of university students
18-24, and she was in that age range. She was smart, she was funny,
she was exactly my type. We really, really hit it off, and were
finishing each other's sentences by the end of the evening, but her
brother was in the club with some friends and I had to share her time
that night (her half-brother had inherited a lot of money when his
father died, and was using it for dances and drugs, and he eventually
ended up in rehab). So I made a special trip back a few weeks later to
see her again, and it was even more fun. We spent one night telling
each other our life stories, and it turned out I had acquaintances in
common with her mother (whom I used to check her out). On my next
trip, a month later, we started dating. I visited monthly, and saw her
every night I was in town, sometimes in the club, but more and more
out, even hanging out with her friends on occasion.

In all that time she only stood me up once, and she explained that her
friend with AIDS (whom I had met, and who had encouraged me to ask her
out) had been rushed to the hospital. And in all that time, she never
asked me for money (although I did insist she take $1000 once when she
was evicted from her apartment, and I did have to insist several
times). After six months, she went to visit friends in another state
and just kind of stayed there, so I would fly her in to meet me in her
hometown, or fly her to my city. On all of these trips, we would spend
24 hours a day together. We would also talk on the phone (or play
phone tag) almost daily on a cell phone that I had bought her and was
paying the bill for (and seeing everyone she called). While she was on
her extended visit, she would occasionally ask me to wire her money
(usually $100 or so), but that was the extent of it (that and the
plane tickets). It wasn't like any relationship I had ever had or
heard about with a dancer. We started talking about getting married.
She decided to stay where she was now living for six more months
trying to make a go of her acting career (OK, so now you can narrow
down the cities she could have been in), then give up, move here, and
marry me.

So we started making plans. We continued our monthly visits, usually
in her hometown, so she could also see her family. Then came the month
(almost a year since we had started dating) that I was trying to plan
The Proposal (with ring; while we had talked about it, it wasn't
official). First I was supposed to fly to where she was, and finally
meet her friends I had been hearing about for months, then she changed
it to her hometown, and told me I didn't even have to buy the ticket,
because her mother had. But I needed the date, so I could fit the trip
in with other plans, and I couldn't get a hold of her for several
days. So I called her mother, who had no idea what I was talking
about.

Her mother knew who I was, but knew nothing about a plane ticket.
After a long talk with her mother, I found out that she was a
pathological liar, and almost everything she ever told me was a lie.
She had no brother, half or otherwise. She hadn't been going to the
university when I met her. Her gay friend didn't have AIDS. She had
never been evicted from her apartment, because she lived with her
mother right up until the time she stole her mother's credit card and
moved to the other state (not just for a visit). And on and on, with
hundreds of details I've omitted. After all, this was over a yearlong
relationship.

Now THAT is a dancer dating horror story. So I don't want to hear any
more puling about being stood up. And for those of you who keep score,
I calculate that the whole thing ended up costing me about $5,000 to
$10,000 over what I would have spent SCing during that year and a
half, what with the plane tickets, the occasional loans, and the
jewelry (hey, there were birthdays and a Valentine's Day in there). Of
course, there were non-monetary damages, like the fact that I will
never trust another woman as long as I live, but hey, I'm the one that
dated a dancer.

Moneywise
03-16-2004, 04:04 PM
haha. Thanks mr_p. Sometimes people just need a swift kick in the rump to set their minds back on track. It's best that I stay away for awhile and see what, if anything, materializes outside of the club.

So the paranoia is good. ahhhh I feel better now. ;) Seriously, thanks for the response.

MW

fishnet
03-16-2004, 04:52 PM
Damn good story Mr._P!!!! Thanks for posting it. :)

Moneywise
03-16-2004, 10:06 PM
TR on the way. :)

NVJosh
03-18-2004, 02:00 PM
BTW, it shouldn't matter to you what the loss of your spending in the club will do to her income. Its not like she's your wife or even your girlfriend. Its not your responsibility to provide her with a living. What if you moved out of state or woke up one morning and realized you were gay? She'd lose your income that way, too. She'll just have to find another customer to replace you.

Geez, guys...if you're interested in a dancer, you gotta stop thinking about yourself as a customer and her as a dancer. You're a guy, who likes a girl...period. If the reason you're interested in her is because she is a dancer, you're just setting yourself up for a fall.

Katrine
03-18-2004, 02:09 PM
See.....I fucking hate that!! Women's indiscriminate scamming of men is part of the reason why misogyny continues to be propogated and even becomes acceptable and funny, ala Howard Stern, Details., etc.....

Its all about the value proposition, Money and boys. Punky understands that as much as he likes to be controversial.......sorry buddy, just RUN AWAY!!!!!!

Moneywise
03-19-2004, 12:38 AM
Geez, guys...if you're interested in a dancer, you gotta stop thinking about yourself as a customer and her as a dancer. You're a guy, who likes a girl...period. If the reason you're interested in her is because she is a dancer, you're just setting yourself up for a fall.


I probably thought of her as a dancer the first couple of times I went to the club 9 or so months ago. Then I began to just find her to simply be an interesting woman that intrigued(s) me in more ways than one.

It's funny. I have never thought of myself as a customer. I might have viewed myself as a friendly source of income but never as a customer. Who knows? Most dancers, from my limited experience, refer to marks, tricks, etc, as customers. For all I know she could consider me one of her better "customers". I just get the feeling there a little more going on though. ( omg someone slap me. PLitis setting in. ;D ) I'll keep chasing that angle.

MW

Happy_Camper
03-19-2004, 06:31 AM
.... ( omg someone slap me. PLitis setting in. ;D ) I'll keep chasing that angle.

MW


:crossfingers: :sarcastic:

mr_punk
03-19-2004, 06:59 AM
i hope things work out for you. i really do. OTOH, if it doesn't work out for you. remember, you're obligated to tell us. i'll keep a bag of microwave popcorn handy. :)

Moneywise
03-19-2004, 07:19 AM
Regardless, I'll keep you updated and continue to frequent this site every freaking day. Some get up first thing in the a.m and have a smoke. Some have coffee. Some jack off. Some kick the dog. I log on to this site. :D

Had it not been for this site I would still be aimlessly spending with the misguided belief that the more I spend the better. This site is a savior in more ways than one. At the very least I have a much better understanding of how the game is played and can pick up on things I would have never noticed before finding this site. go go pink & blue. ;D

Katrine
03-19-2004, 03:27 PM
I would recommend that you jack off more ;)

Moneywise
03-19-2004, 07:35 PM
But there's so much more fulfillment in having someone jack me off. ;)