View Full Version : Terrible Songs to Dance To
kitty260
12-21-2006, 12:25 AM
^^^^Oh sweet Jesus...*begins abusing self AGAIN*
Allow me to add "Never Trust a Klingon", Star Trek Rhapsody and Star Trekkin' to the list....although I'll still dance to them for my Star Trek set. Since nobody but me finds Captain Janeway bangable I might as well make a spoof out of the set.
MrChristopher
12-21-2006, 01:18 AM
Awww...c'mon..."Never Trust A Klingon" is good shit! Admittedly, I've never played it at the SC, though.
Uh. That "Chaccaron" song...wtf? That guy sounds like his mom might have drank a bit too much when he was in the womb or something. "MMMMweeemewaaaa MMMaaamwee DEE dA DEEE DING FRIES ARE DONE"
Cally
12-21-2006, 01:45 AM
LMAO its easily the worse song ever!
MrChristopher
12-21-2006, 01:52 AM
It's like when I first heard Biz Markie's "Just A Friend"...I wanted to laugh, but...you know...is he..."special"? Good christ I hope so, there's no other excuse.
scarlett_vancouver
12-21-2006, 04:10 AM
Ok, I'm suprised that noone has expressed ANY dislike for Crazy bitch by buckcherry(?). It's HORRIBLE and I for one refuse to dance to it.
I refuse to dance to it too. I'm glad to hear someone else does, because I get a lot of "oookay, Scarlett" crazy looks.
The worst song I ever danced to was 'To Sir with Love' by Lulu. I love the song, and was just kind of in the mood to hear it...but oh god, it's a horrific stripper song! Obviously, but I'm slow that way, lol.
I third on crazy bitch. I loathe that fucking song! every white trash trailer girl in Indianapolis wanted that on her set... do the math.
I hate all college frat boy/ whitetrash shit period, nicklecrap, hinder, cold, distrubed, buckcherry .. you get the point. All I can picture is a ton of 21-25 year old ballcap backwards wearing, budlight drinking, shorts in winter with some college sweatshirt or if dressed up ..striped untucked shirt and jeans. UGH! and the girls? always some chick that thinks its a great idea to wear those cheap ass mall shirts that are string tank tops made of some shitty shiney fabric . These are the ONLY people that would request this shit and find it "hot". I bet they get together and have sex to puddle of mudd ( cringe)
but yah so that smell by LS is horrid. I have NEVER understood that one. There is a euro girl that dances every night to some r&b song that goes
" i dont want to do this anymore, I dont wanna be the reason why. " its about cheating on her bf and him knowing but she just cant stop and its all slow and super sad
basically all the shit the euro girls dance to at work is getting on my nerves, its all mid 90s electro crap
or that one song thats techno and goes" very very good..." thats all it says! holy god
But this is coming from a girl that hates everything lol. Fuck I dance to depeche mode, rancid, yeah yeah yeahs, scissor sisters and social D. just to name a few. People im sure hate my shit just as much
DylanAngel
12-21-2006, 07:51 AM
but yah so that smell by LS is horrid.
Must be a regional thing. Here in biker/redneck land that song makes us a lot of money, so I dance to it.
no you can make money to it. I live in the midwest. But it still is one of those " man WHO would play that ? "
the entire " smell " factor coupled with half nude girls bending over lol
its comical
DylanAngel
12-21-2006, 09:27 AM
no you can make money to it. I live in the midwest. But it still is one of those " man WHO would play that ? "
the entire " smell " factor coupled with half nude girls bending over lol
its comical
That IS funny.
Makes it easier for me to know that the guys know what it's really about though.
But waaaay funny when you get a young dancer in the bar who doesn't know what it means. The looks on those poor girls' faces...:O
Cally
12-21-2006, 04:19 PM
Okay Tart.. I loved you till you said Hinder sucks :'( I LOVE Hinder.. as for Disturbed and Nicklecrap n stuff nah I cant stand em but I LOVE Hinder.
Reznor
12-21-2006, 07:31 PM
I like stripper by lords of acid.
They took it off (we have a jukebox) but if it were still on there, I'd play it.
awww cally... but you have a sweet ass.. so i'll over look the love for hinder.
TheSexKitten
12-21-2006, 09:35 PM
Ugh I HATE that song! It was such a running joke between me and friends in Mexico.
Susan Wayward
12-22-2006, 03:26 AM
Tart, if you're ever in Portland I hope you'll stop by Mary's because you can hear everything your heart desires there. It's the only place you can hear the Dead Boys and Edith Piaf played in a strip club within minutes of each other.
And Scissor Sisters were made for strippers! They even talk about tipping strippers and Ana Matronic is from Portland and gave Mary's a shoutout at their last PDX show.
holy shit Edith Paif are you fucking serious?!
panties off to Mary's then..
oh and dead boys..now if we could hear the briefs and the vandals Id just die.
JustJayda
12-22-2006, 05:32 PM
There's a girl who dances to Stained and a Perfect Circle...ugh... some Cold songs too. All their sappy love songs. Doesn't make me want to dance, just makes me want to go cry somewhere.
You only feel that way cuz inside you're ugly, ugly like me!
Sorry, I love Stained. Aaron lewis can get it!
sxybrat07
12-22-2006, 06:41 PM
Yup I dance to staind and a perfect circle too. I love it. It's better than dancing to 'you and that monkey, you and that booty". lol.
MrChristopher
12-23-2006, 01:50 AM
^^^There are PLENTY of A Perfect Circle songs that are upbeat and groovy. Staind...eh, fuck that guy. Every single song is "Whine whine whine noooooooooobody loooooooooooooves my bitchy fat ass, boo fuckin hoo, whine whine whine" etc. Keep in mind this is coming from a guy who grew up on the Smiths. That's saying something right there.
^ hey you leave the smiths outta this! or else! Morrisey is the shit.
Although I bet you if my bf reads this thread he'll applaud you for saying that. He hates the smiths and when people hear him say it they get that shocked look ..so he goes " that's right I said it .. they suck " lol.
however, there is something about a fat ass bitching about no love that makes me smile.
MrChristopher
12-23-2006, 02:53 AM
Johnny Marr recently joined Modest fucking Mouse. He is dead to me.
IvytheStripper
12-24-2006, 04:16 AM
I refuse to dance to it too. I'm glad to hear someone else does, because I get a lot of "oookay, Scarlett" crazy looks.
The worst song I ever danced to was 'To Sir with Love' by Lulu. I love the song, and was just kind of in the mood to hear it...but oh god, it's a horrific stripper song! Obviously, but I'm slow that way, lol.
I third on crazy bitch. I loathe that fucking song! every white trash trailer girl in Indianapolis wanted that on her set... do the math.
I hate all college frat boy/ whitetrash shit period, nicklecrap, hinder, cold, distrubed, buckcherry .. you get the point. All I can picture is a ton of 21-25 year old ballcap backwards wearing, budlight drinking, shorts in winter with some college sweatshirt or if dressed up ..striped untucked shirt and jeans. UGH! and the girls? always some chick that thinks its a great idea to wear those cheap ass mall shirts that are string tank tops made of some shitty shiney fabric . These are the ONLY people that would request this shit and find it "hot". I bet they get together and have sex to puddle of mudd ( cringe)
but yah so that smell by LS is horrid. I have NEVER understood that one. There is a euro girl that dances every night to some r&b song that goes
" i dont want to do this anymore, I dont wanna be the reason why. " its about cheating on her bf and him knowing but she just cant stop and its all slow and super sad
basically all the shit the euro girls dance to at work is getting on my nerves, its all mid 90s electro crap
or that one song thats techno and goes" very very good..." thats all it says! holy god
But this is coming from a girl that hates everything lol. Fuck I dance to depeche mode, rancid, yeah yeah yeahs, scissor sisters and social D. just to name a few. People im sure hate my shit just as much
Thank God I don't work at a place with a DJ anymore because it's not on the jukebox where I work but at the place I just quit at they played it all the time. The DJ's don't even like it and don't want to play it. The bartender there, while I was doing my customary blowjob pantomime to it said "oh this is such a good STRIPCLUB song!" I asked her why and she didn't really answer but I think that her reasons for thinking it is are probably the same reasons I hate it and think that it's awful in those enviorns! I don't know why people dance to stuff that is downright degrading. Maybe that's just me though, I tend to play stuff that I like or feel like dancing to and I tend to embody whatever the song is. I've done that when I'm dancing since before I started dancing and I can't self apply something so viscious. You're already pandering to the male animal at it's most feral, it seems to be not just tacky but actually dangerous. On any given night there will be at least one guy of the sort that go to strip clubs JUST to be mean to the strippers and If they think that you think that about yourself, that just feeds the hostility. Right? It's one thing to project a fantasy onto the dancers, but outright disrespect and treating a gal like she's less than you ? Not Cool, not nice and Just bad Karma. That's a bit of irony that I could never figure out. Why if a guy buys into the sterotype of stripper with bad upbringing, abuse issues and no self esteem, whatever have you, would those same guys be DICKS. On a good day I like this job. I get to dance to music, be the center of attention ( I'll bring people up to the rack just because I want an audience), Chat people up and Flirt up cute guys. I suppose I flirt with the uncute ones too but it doesn't come as easy. That's our job, we dance you tip us we come and sit with you and talk you be polite. I'm of the definate opinion that you shouldn't say anything to a girl dancing at a titty bar that you wouldn't say to any girl in a regular bar. Wow...that got away from me!!
Now that song what it is it?? Complete, where the guy starts out you make me come, then, you make me complete then you make me completely miserable...I like that just because of the clever lyrical build.
sunnie
12-27-2006, 03:18 PM
My manager loves to put on "the Carwash"...the old version.
NOTHING makes me feel less sexy than that...maybe an episode of Sesame Street.
^ oh abba can make anyone feel unsexy. Everytime I hear abba all i can think of is a skating rink and sequins
IvytheStripper
12-28-2006, 02:02 PM
^ oh abba can make anyone feel unsexy. Everytime I hear abba all i can think of is a skating rink and sequins
I dunno Fernando IS kinda romantical what with the backdrop of revolution and war.
dlabtot
12-28-2006, 03:57 PM
Now that song what it is it?? Complete, where the guy starts out you make me come, then, you make me complete then you make me completely miserable...I like that just because of the clever lyrical build.
"Miserable" by Lit (http://www.lyricsdepot.com/lit/miserable.html)
IvytheStripper
12-30-2006, 03:33 PM
"Miserable" by Lit (http://www.lyricsdepot.com/lit/miserable.html)
Yeah, I really didn't care but I'm sure impressed with your knowledge of shitty fake ass pretty boy hardrock
I completly agree about Crazy Bitch. We havea jukebox, and sadly this song is on it. I hate the song.
I like stripper, but didnt realize it was making fun of strippers, can someone please explain that, it is going way over my head.
I dance to all kinds of fucked up shit. We have an odd club and if they are not tiping or buying, I dance to fucked up shit. I refuse to entertain them with being sexy if they refuse to pay good money for it. Sometimes we will have a packed house and the fuckers are glued to the chairs or something.
So here is my list .. Although I am guilty of playing a lot of them, I somehow pull it off and it often makes our DEAD crowds come tip and buy dances:
Hampster Dance - unknown artist
Tuty fruity get on the floor if you got that booty- no idea who sings this
Anal sex- david alan coe
detachable penis-
Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice
Cant Touch This- MC Hammer .... YES I dance to this ... Its funny
Now .. I dont usually dance to this garbage, just when the crowd sucks beyond repair.
Most of the time I dance to Madonna, Prince, Micheal Jackson, good techno, all kinds of junk
IvytheStripper
12-31-2006, 02:26 AM
you know I've given this some thought and in most places I've worked especially the quote unquote gentlemens clubs they make a point to play to the taste of the customer first which isn't a bad concept in and of itself but in situations like you describe and even in busy times I think it's best to throw the customer a curveball. Switching it up and playing something a little off the wall or goofy keeps them on thier toes. If they become too comfy and catered to they'll either gravitate to the bar or poker machines or jump ship alltogether and go to a club that isn't as boring. After all they can listen to the music they want at home. Like for instance last week I danced to, I kid you not, "jesus walking on the water" by the violent femmes. I think that I got a full rack and a shit ton of tips just for sheer chutzpah!
Kylea
12-31-2006, 02:53 PM
The worst song I ever had to dance to was "Jitter Bug". You know the one. I was working in a club that had six stages and the girl on the main stage had pissed the DJ off, so he kept putting terrible music on whenever she went up. It was terrible! Looking back I'm suprised the manager didn't say anything to the DJ about it.
IvytheStripper
01-01-2007, 05:30 PM
The worst song I ever had to dance to was "Jitter Bug". You know the one. I was working in a club that had six stages and the girl on the main stage had pissed the DJ off, so he kept putting terrible music on whenever she went up. It was terrible! Looking back I'm suprised the manager didn't say anything to the DJ about it.
No, I don't. If you mean wake me up before you go(go?) by wham, that's not even a bad song let alone a "terrible" one. Maybe a little difficult to stripper dance to on account of it being so fast, but there are far worse and more innappropriate songs that could be played in that venue.
Blasiancutie
01-16-2007, 01:41 AM
I can't stand when "Tip Drill" is played and "Dear Mamma" by 2Pac. OMGoddess!
Lisbeth
01-21-2007, 01:00 PM
Just a hint I've picked up...If the DJ is in a mood for practical jokes, its better to go back home. I learned this the hard way after having to dance to Fat and Flintstone Rock, both by Wierd Al. I've heard some bad ones, but damn...
Vampira132
01-21-2007, 01:20 PM
Not sure if this has already been mentioned but.....
Right Said Fred - Im Too Sexy...
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts"
Oh god,lmao....
TigersMilk
01-29-2007, 01:28 AM
I must share this awful song with you guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqBZCs4wo68&eurl=
PookaShell
01-29-2007, 05:17 AM
I must share this awful song with you guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqBZCs4wo68&eurl=
:rotfl: Haha, I liked it!
PookaShell
01-29-2007, 05:43 AM
This entire thread...is like...the DJ at my club's playlist.
Haha. Thank bobs you guys don't hafta work there. I agree on most of em....
But I do like some...I will guiltily say I like "Crazy Bitch", and Hinder, and some of the other dorky ones listed.
Oh, and had to add...The "Night Moves" by Bob Segar...someone up there said it was about a young girl practicing to be a stripper in her room? I could be wrong, and haven't dissected the lyrics or anything, but I always gathered that it was about two young adolescents "experimenting" with sexual play, for the sake of practicing for when they were older. I'll google the lyrics some day and actually read em, cause like I said, I could be wrong.
Nicolina
02-03-2007, 11:37 PM
At least none of you guys have ever had to lapdance to "Dominic the Donkey" ("...the Italian Christmas Donkey, hee haw hee haw...") WTF??? The owners at one of my old clubs used to make the DJ play this during 2-for-1's around Christmas time....I don't know what they were thinking.
Also, during showcase at Private Eyes in Tokyo, the DJ would play this bizarre redneck-punk version of "Cotton-Eyed Joe." Not sexy. Not sexy at all.
I've danced to lots of horrible songs in my day; I've cursed many a DJ for tormenting me during stage sets, but these are the two that really stand out in my mind after all these years....
PaigeDWinter
02-03-2007, 11:46 PM
I must share this awful song with you guys.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqBZCs4wo68&eurl=
Awwww man I loved the original. Damn them for fucking it up!
At least none of you guys have ever had to lapdance to "Dominic the Donkey" ("...the Italian Christmas Donkey, hee haw hee haw...") WTF??? The owners at one of my old clubs used to make the DJ play this during 2-for-1's around Christmas time....I don't know what they were thinking.
Also, during showcase at Private Eyes in Tokyo, the DJ would play this bizarre redneck-punk version of "Cotton-Eyed Joe." Not sexy. Not sexy at all.
I've danced to lots of horrible songs in my day; I've cursed many a DJ for tormenting me during stage sets, but these are the two that really stand out in my mind after all these years....
I've worked at a club that's played Dominic. Oi... I thought I had escaped that song when I became an adult. Ugh. And I know a feature that uses Cotton Eyed Joe.... but not a remix of it.
Nicolina
02-03-2007, 11:58 PM
^Ha! I thought I had you all beat with the Donkey song. I didn't even think anyone would know what I was talking about. Nice to know you've lived through the same hell as me, Paige. At least I'm in good company. :)
PaigeDWinter
02-04-2007, 12:28 AM
^Ha! I thought I had you all beat with the Donkey song. I didn't even think anyone would know what I was talking about. Nice to know you've lived through the same hell as me, Paige. At least I'm in good company. :)
Oh hell, a lot of Italian kids, who were little in the '70s or early '80s will know that one. I worked for a guy who named his son Dominic cause he was an xmas baby and thus.... named him after the damned song.
X Evan X
02-05-2007, 04:39 AM
And the guy responsible for that Cotton-Eyed Joe techno song needs to be punched in the mouth. Hard.
-E
Corgan
02-05-2007, 07:34 AM
No, I don't. If you mean wake me up before you go(go?) by wham, that's not even a bad song let alone a "terrible" one. Maybe a little difficult to stripper dance to on account of it being so fast, but there are far worse and more innappropriate songs that could be played in that venue.
i dance to wham regularly.
Nicolina
02-05-2007, 09:30 PM
I'd have a hard time dancing to "Float On" with a straight face....
Krissy Kennedy
02-05-2007, 09:44 PM
My DJ played me Abba's "Dancing Queen" and The Bee Gee's "Jive Talkin'" for me the other night, just for funniness. And then he played me "Rapper's Delight" and "The Double Dutch Bus"...Eeeek!
Allice
02-06-2007, 08:49 PM
Regularly played (or used to be played) at our club:
Angry Johnny
Pussy Control
Jive Talkin
Baby Got Back
I'm too Sexy (me :)
I'd sooo dance to Fat Bottom Girls. Whee...
I hate that fuckin Crazy Bitch song too, reminds me of bad sex with some idiot drunk guy. Nickleback, too. Ug.
We have stage dancing only (3 stages, so 3 girls up at once), so we get away with playing things that might mess up a LD... every once in a while I'll play Cake, the Bloodhound Gang, older SOAD... and I've danced to Slayer before...
My list?
Creed- Higher, ect... I mean WTF? I once had a girl play them her entire set 20 min set!
And HOLY HELL... mngment in love with BIG 'N RICH... we get to be sexxy to: save a horse! comin to your city! rollin'! and other shit like watermellon crawl, honkytonk badonkadonk (yes. seriously), and.... ready? HILLBILLIES LOVE IT IN THE HAY.
MrChristopher
02-06-2007, 09:03 PM
^^I will assume you folks meant the dance version of "Cotton Eyed Joe" by The Rednex. Awful, yes...BUT. I saw at Target tonight there is another Crazy Frog cd. And there is a version of "Cotton Eyed Joe" on there. Sweet Jeebus, I actually want to hear it, to see just how awful it is.
Nicolina
02-06-2007, 09:26 PM
^^I will assume you folks meant the dance version of "Cotton Eyed Joe" by The Rednex. Awful, yes...BUT. I saw at Target tonight there is another Crazy Frog cd. And there is a version of "Cotton Eyed Joe" on there. Sweet Jeebus, I actually want to hear it, to see just how awful it is.
:O OMG.
I guess that Rednex version must be the one I mean; I only recall ever hearing it at that club in Japan, and I never asked what it was....It was especially bizarre to me because I knew the song from one of my Prairie Home Companion CD's--done in a traditional country/bluegrass style....so to hear some crazy techno version of it was just kind of insane, and extremely not sexy......but Crazy Frog. Yeah, that's gotta be even worse (though I actually have the Crazy Frog version of Axel F. on my iPod, for reasons even I don't completely understand.) You be the guinea pig on that one and let us know how unspeakable it really is....
I once knew a dancer who would only dance to Elton John.
And another in Alaska who regularly played that Chuck Mangione instrumental song...I don't know what it's called but I associate it with elevators and the late 1970's....(She was cool though, and a lot of the old Alaskan dudes seem to dig on it....)
Corgan
03-12-2007, 01:33 PM
Lords of Acid - Stripper (this song is actually making fun of us)
i strongly disagree. i love this song. LOA sing about nothing but SEX. SEX SEX SEX! Strippers reek of sex appeal, so why is it so bad?
i dance to this QUITE frequently.
toomuchhomeworklately
03-13-2007, 09:26 AM
Not sure if this has already been mentioned but.....
Right Said Fred - Im Too Sexy...
"I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt
So sexy it hurts"
Oh god,lmao....
OMG I heard this song come on for this girl who'd been dancing for like a week. I went straight to the dj booth & told him, "You're fucking evil. That's just wrong." (I was friends with him & he quite often played shitty songs for girls he didn't like when the club wasn't busy.) She had actually REQUESTED this monstrosity along with Supermodel by RuPaul. I couldn't even laugh.
I've requested some shitty stuff to annoy or piss off lame asses that have been sitting there all night spending nothing on anyone. My favorite was "Fuck you all" by Melendiz (sample lyrics: Fuck you all, you little asses. Fuck you all, You make me sick.) Oddly, I would get great tips to that song. :O
Nicolina
03-26-2007, 09:33 PM
I was always pretty horrified when anyone decided to play "The Lion Sleeps Tonight".