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gypsy_girlchild
11-30-2004, 02:34 PM
Diseases... yuck.
I don't share for that reason especially, plus what's the point, once it's over it's over and just a memory.

bikinigirl04
12-01-2004, 09:49 AM
though you may not want to believe it, men aren't really born to be faithfull. they are tempted by women, there is a small percent though that are faithful. i personally think that cheating is healthy in a relationship. you really appreciate your partner more.
just a theory here, but going on that old idea that men are "biologically built to want to be with as many women as possible" or however that goes, you know what i'm saying right? like up there, men aren't born to be faithful.
well if this were true, doesnt it make sense that women would be inclined to have as many men as possible? why would we be "born to be faithful" while men are "born to cheat" or whatever. not sure if i have said what i mean very well, just something that always comes to mind when people say, oh well men are just built that way.

also, the boys will be boys thing makes me mad b/c, of course a man has these desires, but thats what seperates a person from an animal- the ability to control your desires. just because you're a guy and u have these "instincts" doesnt mean u should behave like an animal and act on your every impulse.
girls are tempted too, and girls cheat, too. i don't think that bangin every girl you want to when your s.o. thinks you are committed is healthy, personally.

lopaw
12-01-2004, 06:35 PM
I totally agreed with you, bikinigirl. I think this "biological" argument is total BS......I believe that it is society's overall influence on the genders that make us tend to behave in certain ways. It's like men are egged-on & encouraged from adolescence to score with as many women as possible, while we girls are brainwashed and told just the opposite .....you know, the old double-standard (promiscuous men are "playboys".....promiscuous women are just "loose sluts"!).

Blame it on our culture...not biology!!

erotictonic
04-11-2005, 05:50 AM
I don't believe that cheating is a man/woman thang, but more of an individual thang. It's based on one's character. That's why it doesn't matter if a man is dating Cindy Crawford or Carmen Electra, a cheater is a cheater. I also don't believe you can say that humans are monogamous or that they are cheaters, but that it just depends on the person.

I, personally, have absolutely no desire whatsoever to cheat, if the person I am with fulfills my needs. I must have a connection with someone in order to enjoy sex with them. A hot body is not a turn-on in the least if I don't share a connection with that person, which really gives me no reason to want to cheat. And I really make a connection with very few people. To say that humans are not monogamous would not include those of us that really are.

toxicgirl
04-11-2005, 09:49 AM
first off, it's not only men that cheat. my friend has studied some psychology. women cheat, too. more often, men tend to talk more openly about it amongst each other than women, who tend to hide it more. our society is more open about men cheating vs. women. it's very subliminal, but look at shows on tv, etc. it is there.

for anyone who considers it healthy, i ask them: have you ever been cheated on? did you really think what that person did to you was healthy? did that pain make you say, 'oh wow, our relationship is getting so much better!'

cheating isnt right for anyone. but there are other solutions: open relationships, polyarmory, swinging, etc. this requires a lot of trust, honesty and communication! if there is something missing in a relationship- speak up! the issue doesnt get better by just running around. try and work it out. if you cant, move on. hmm, pretty simple. please dont tell me this is easier said than done, i've had no problems.

toxicgirl
04-11-2005, 09:53 AM
oh and one more thing: you can keep someone totally faithful to you: chastity belts! they have this great one called the cb 3000. it's comfortable, plastic and a guy can wear it all the time! it's not very noticeable under clothes. he can use the bathroom, go thru airports, etc. he just can't get it off or get a hard on.

toxicgirl
04-11-2005, 10:08 AM
ok i'm writing another post since i've been reading more of this one: stds and cheating. this subject is touchy for me. i got an std from being raped in an alley cause a**hole didnt think he needed to use a condom while he choked me to the point of passing out. i didnt get a CHOICE! that's why i get mad about this. that is a powerful gift: choice. it's so taken for granted. the option of even getting to choose who you have sex with- do you even realize what a luxury that is?! stuggling to even show any affection to someone i'm with is hard enough.

PaigeDWinter
04-11-2005, 08:18 PM
It's also human nature to be attracted to specific sorts of people, eat meat, wear skins, etc. But as creatures with higher brain functions, we have the ability to choose... choose to do so or not to.

Cheating isnt natural. Open relationships are.... at least on a biological level. As society continues to shape our way of thinking, things like monogamy, age of marraige/sexual intercourse, etc changes. It becomes how the mainstream things for a large % of the population. To the mass majority, monogamy is presented as correct, therefore the biological urge to do otherwise is shoved aside.

I, for one, as into human nature as I am, am VERY monogamous.

Concubine
04-12-2005, 04:58 AM
Monogamous here too:). Sure I occassionally (very rarely) get tempted but I have enough respect, consideration and brain power not to give in. I do not have the brain capacity of a dog in heat. lol

I'm not a child anymore and know that my actions have consequences. Even if my partner never found out I would know and I'm not that selfish and disrespectful as to not tell him.

Karma will get the people that think they are dogs in heat in the end.;)

rusdancer
04-12-2005, 12:43 PM
Also monogamous.Cheating is not healthy,it's done in secrecy and means betrayal.Nobody wants to feel betrayed by a person they trust and are in love with.The result of cheating is heartbreak,depression,disbelief,break up,loss of a friend,divorce.......Open relationships definitely do exist,but would you want to date somebody who tells you that they are in one?IMO if you don't feel like you're ready to commit,than don't.Please don't cause other people the pain of discovering infidelity.

tampadancer
04-12-2005, 01:16 PM
yuck, cheating is not good.

as another poster put it, if your SO wouldn't approve, it's cheating.

Sunnsand
04-12-2005, 03:05 PM
There are alot of people out there that think this profession is a bane to marriages and viewing that it's healthy or OK for anyone to betray a partner gives all of us a bad image.

ivy44
04-13-2005, 08:27 PM
How could you *truly* love that person if you cannot be "honest" with him?!?.. Hmm? Just because you feel hes not being honest with you or men in general cannot be honest w/ you doesnt mean you, as a woman, need to jump to their low level. ~ Hey,I say just have 3somes together, atleast you can have your cake and eat it too, in a a sweet, honest way with one another. : )

Pelirroja
04-14-2005, 04:05 AM
Cheating and not telling is bound to be negative. But say you were to go out one night, and your boyfriend gets hit on by a really good-looking air-head. If you both agree that it is ok for him to sleep with her, you may find it is actually quite constructive in the sense that he will remember why he chose to date you, although it is still an enjoyable experience for him.

Also it takes away the 'thrill' of cheating. If you don't make a big deal about having sex with other people and you trust him and know that he only loves you (he obviously desires others, that is normal) it is likely that he will love you more for it. There is no talent in keeping a partner under 'restraints', but to allow a partner to roam freely and do as he or she chooses, that is a great challenge. The reward is when your partner inevitably comes back to you time and again, because that is how you know that YOU are the best!

Pelirroja
04-14-2005, 04:09 AM
I would also like to add that the above method is also constructive because it is one way to know how often your partner chooses to go with others. If he or she is 'forbidden' to go with others then you may live a lie for a very long time, there will be feelings of guilt, and generally it will be a negative experience for both sides. I don't say that ALL guys cheat, but isn't it better to know when and why they do? That way it is something you can openly discuss, rather than have a blazing row about...

screaminpeachez
04-14-2005, 07:26 AM
I think that it is healthy to flirt and fantasize.
If it were mutally agreed that you would be swingers I think that could be potentially healthy.


Cheating is basically treating someone as though you don't think that they are intelligent enough to be honest with them.

Cheating can be a thrill for those who want to do bad things and not get caught.
Therefore keeping all of the benefits of the stable relationship.
It's kind of like stealing from the place you work at.
Sooner or later you are going to get caught.

I think that it's ok to make mistakes.
But if you want a relationship, then you have to be a friend and be HONEST with them.
not necessarily monogomous.

I don't think it's healthy to be a liar.
you are mixing up having a private fantasy life with deluding someone elses.

It's all about the rules that you have established.
Both partners should know these rules.

We are talking about sex which is potentially dangerous. !!!!!
By you lying, you are basically saying they don't deserve the information that could change their life or snuff it out.!!!!!

If you don't treat them with respect you will never have a deep emotional connection with anyone.
And that is one of the things that makes life worth living.

Cianna
04-17-2005, 10:51 PM
Cheating is for insecure, indecisive people who will never be happy with themselves or what they have in their life. They will probably wind up with no one.
Ha ha!