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Jenny
02-03-2005, 09:51 AM
Actually it can be empowering for a man to call you a cunt if you react in a cavalier way and don't shrink or get all bent out of shape about it.
I don't understand this at all - handling yourself with grace and aplomb is, I suppose, always empowering. However the context of this particular discussion is a little more narrow. A man using the word "cunt" will NEVER be using it as a term of empowerment (I know that phrase is stupid, but I beg everyone to let it slide). Like Germaine Greer marching with 60 other women, lifting their skirts up chanting "can you dig it? Cunt is beautiful" is empowering. Eve Ensler getting an audience to chant "Cunt! Cunt! Cunt!" at the Vagina Monologues is empowering. A guy saying "I bet you have a nice cunt" or "show me your cunt" or (god forbid) calling you a cunt is not.


If you call a man a dick, does the situation escalate? Probably not. Why? Because he is above arguing with a woman.
See I would disagree. I think it is because the insult "dick" is not loaded with the social "importance" of the word "cunt". If you called an American guy a "cunt" I think the situation would escalate rather quickly, whether you were a woman or not. Interestingly my family is Scottish - like working class scottish. They use the word "cunt" as just another word for "guy". Like "I work with that cunt over there." I don't exactly know what to make of that.


So it's one thing to say people shouldn't say this or that, and it's another thing when realistically, people will say this or that, and to decide where to go from there.
Well, I'm hardly suggesting illegalizing words I don't like or don't find empowering. And certainly there are people who are simply incredibly ignorant (for example the DJ whose comment started this thread) and those who are a little more deliberate who are free to exercise their right to free expression. All I'm really doing to examining the social currency of these words and terms.

tiamaria
02-03-2005, 09:55 AM
OMG!!!!That's most Definitely a "Nasty" remark and the reason he was kissing your ass was because he realized how bad it was!That is so.. unprofessional and i would let the manager know this..(.HUGS to you sweetie....)

LilSweetVixen
02-05-2005, 08:13 AM
I think it is because the insult "dick" is not loaded with the social "importance" of the word "cunt".

why is that? who makes it so?


They use the word "cunt" as just another word for "guy". Like "I work with that cunt over there." I don't exactly know what to make of that.

me neither.:rotfl:

bigblueyes
02-10-2005, 11:22 PM
His comment was absolutly uncalled for. Had he made a comment like this at any other job it would have been grounds for termination, not that the stripclub setting makes it okay either. It's a shame that management looks the other way so often in our work places in this industry. If this happens again I would take it to management and look into possible legal recourse if they didn't fire him. Harrassment of any kind in the work place is unnecessary and a big deal.

Izzy
02-13-2005, 01:19 PM
Like most people I think it is entirely innapropriate. It still amazes me how much racism and sexism are internalised in our language...they come out in ways we don't even realise. The history of these forms of oppression run so deep that their effects have impacted us almost unconciously...to the point that we express discrimimation every day without realising it...not that this guy didn't realise it neccesarily...

I'm white, and would never assume to understand how hearing that word makes a black woman feel. And I wouldn't be so prossumptuous (sp) as to say one thing or the other about the recclaimation of that particular word. However, many words used to describe women such as cunt and whore actually did originally have positive meanings...which is why we sometimes talk about REclaiming them. Also, the idea goes that until we give these words positive meanings they will always be used against us. However, I sort of think that until those positive meanings start to take over the negative ones, context is very important. Which is the reason I never use words like slut, whore, skank etc. unless I'm joking around with my close girlfriends and we are only refering to each other.

Also, just another thing...I've noticed an upsetting trend of more and more young white males using the n-word with each other...I'm guessing this has to do with the media making hip-hop and black culture more accesible to them, and them feeling like because they can relate to it they have the right to use that word....I don't know exactly, but I find it pretty disturbing to hear 13 and 14 year old, suburban white kids from wealthy families using that word on a regular basis ( I heard it all the time in my -very white- home town...it became a pretty big issue in elementary schools...)

Blade
02-13-2005, 01:38 PM
as a retired dj,all I can say is : That dj is an idiot...If he had 3 blondes up would he have called it the dumb cunt set?or the pick a ditz set? Totally unprofessional!

Katrine
02-13-2005, 07:10 PM
My DJ at an old club once told me he was switching me on the rotation otherwise he would have 3 blondes in a row and he didn't want to make a wind tunnel. That was funny. This was sucky. I am glad you two have resolved it. I admire your strength in how you handled the situation too :)

BigGreenMnM
02-13-2005, 07:22 PM
Where I live he would've been shot... lol...

Where I live,they wouldnt use a gun.

They would insert the bullet manualy.;)