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View Full Version : Why customers shouldn't date dancers:



Thorn
03-24-2005, 05:47 PM
.

Moneywise
03-24-2005, 06:23 PM
Most of that stuff goes out the window when you're blue with tunnel vision. For instance, My ATF wants to hook up Saturday night. Trust me when I say I couldn't care less about anything we've discussed in the past. I'm focused squarely on Saturday night. It's not the first time we've been together alone OTC but it is our first official hookup without it being something that takes place after the club closes.

Whatever happens, I quickly learned long ago to never let it get personal thanks to Ms. L. Just have fun and go with the flow. It's truly all good.

yoda57us
03-25-2005, 06:26 AM
In reading your responses Thorn, I'm not quite sure if you are playing devils advocate or if these are your personal reasons for not dating dancers. My first impression is that at least half of the negatives are based on stereotypes and, if you or any customer believes that crap, you should absolutely never consider dating a dancer. Some of the other negatives deal more directly with a fragile male ego-something no woman can control. There are one or two valid issues raised in your list but they are issues that dancers and their SO's work through every day.

Sh0t
03-25-2005, 10:07 AM
It can be as ackward or as smooth as any relationship. I think jealous people are just gonna be jealous no matter the scenario. Some guys don't want their chicks to work AT ALL out of fear of her finding other guys or wear sexy clothing even to a mall.

The Strip Club just brings out latent traits or provides a less-camouflaging background.

If anything the strip club enviroment might be the best way to screen people heh. If they can handle you being a stripper, they will probably trust you everwhere else as well.

yoda57us
03-25-2005, 06:07 PM
As is many times the case with my posts, a little of both. I advocate for the moving forward of discourse, as I truly think that it is only by interacting genuinely with each other that we find out what is real, and what isn't, about the social situations we deal with day in and day out. Strip-clubs and the things that go on within them, being no different.

Those that have read me for any length of time can easily tell where I am stating a deeply held conviction and where I am playing devil's advocate. As I try to maintain a steady line as to where my center is located [in other words, I try to be an easy read].


Ummm.....OK, whatever....since I don't have the inclination to build a database containing the life philosophies, posting histories and writing styles of everyone who posts here, I'll just stick with responding to your posts as I interpret them. If I'm wrong I'm sure you'll let me know.

NinaDaisy
03-25-2005, 07:57 PM
This is of course, assuming that we don't laugh in your face when you ask us out. You forgot about that wee caveat.

Now pardon me while I smoke some crack, slap around my nine kids, bail my boyfriend out of jail and go to work for a long night of $20 BJ's and finger-banging. Luv ya!

SportsWriter2
03-25-2005, 08:29 PM
Oh dear, ND, now I think we need the OTHER opposite thread:

"The REAL reasons strippers date customers" :O

Jenny
03-26-2005, 12:28 AM
See this is funny - I thought this post was an attempt to inject vitriol into an environment in which men and women and (gasp) dancer and customer actually get along and like each other - I mean a place where you can't possibly claim that the guys just agree with everything we say and we are not humouring the customers and the moderation is minimal and yet we still all manage to engage with wildly different opinions with humour and panache - we can't have that without a little bad spirits as well, right?

In answer to at least some of your questions:

1) If I date you and I still come to the club are you going to be jealous?
Well, yes. That's why this was a topic in the first thread of this nature. Nobody wants to see their boyfriend come in to their club and prefer someone else to them. That would be weird.


2) I'm clean and sober and always have been. Considering the ratio of dancers who use drugs to those who don't, what is the chance that in dating a dancer I am inviting an addict into my life?
Well, if you keep in mind that a recreational user is not an addict slightly higher than average, but still lower than (for example) a doctor, dentist or social worker.


3) Considering the unrealistic expecations dancers get regarding the worth of their physical being, what are the odds that I am going to have to "pay" for physical companionship in our relationship? If not in money, then in some other fashion?
Oh, now this is never going to work. The stereotype we are all working with here (and I think it is rather unfair for you to demand that we all change to suit you) is that dancers date umemployed, semi (or wholly) abusive, addicted musicians that we support. Certainly not men who are in a position to pay us for anything. But other than that - high. When you date someone, you pay - male or female, trust me, you are giving it up.


4) In dating a dancer how likely is it that any sexual activity outside our relationship will be tolerated? You would think that someone whose work is in the sex industry would be pretty understanding vis-a-vis a guy going to strip-club. I find, through me personal experince, the exact opposite is the case. Yes, the exact opposite is likely to be the case (although not inevitably). Dancers are not, by and large, interested in recreational one-night stands. Or if they are, they get over it pretty damn quick. Or if they don't, power to them and their bad selves - don't let the bastards get you down and so forth. Serial monogamy (even rapid fire serial monogamy) maybe.



5) Do I really want my girl-friend to be sexually available to my friends for the price of a lap dance? [I don't have a jealous bone in my body, but I know most folks do, and that includes the female girlfriends of gay strippers, so this is a valid question all the way around]

Well, one would hope that both your friends and your girl would have better judgement than that. If not, I wonder about you, and the kind of people you choose to surround yourself with.


6) Would I want my friends, parents, co-workers, etc, to know that I am dating a stripper? Well, if you were, I would say that ideally, yes, you would.


7) If I met her by paying her to dance naked in my lap, what do I expect our first date to be like well, I would say that this is more a reason for US not to date YOU than the inverse. And, hey, something similar was mentioned in the original thread.


9) I work 12 hours a day to make my way in the world but don't make as much as she does working 16 hours a week. What does that say about how she perceives 'the value of a dollar" and will she respect my efforts since I don't make as much as she does? Then, dude! You are dating a fairly successful girl! She's probably not an addict or embarrassing or anything! Or you don't get paid very much. Interestingly, I think we could extend this particular argument into a good reason women shouldn't date men - I mean if you look at the distribution of wealth in the majority of hetero relationships.


10) Most dancers I meet have a decided negative "custy" stereotype they carry about with them. Since she met me in a strip-club how is that going to impact on her feelings about me? Well, if she agrees to date you, I guess she likes you... unless you are paying her. Are you paying this hypothetical, slutty, jealous, addicted, hooker dancer?


12) If she tells me she loves me, how do I believe her? She makes her living fooling men into believing what she wants them to believe. Again, are you paying this hypothetical girl? What possible motivation could she have to lie to a person who is constantly judging her (as outlined above) unless she (for as yet undisclosed reasons) does in fact hold some affection for this person? Anyone can lie - you don't need to naked for it or anything.


13) She already told me every miserable thing that happened in her life in the first 15 minutes we started yakking in the strip-club. How she can't make her rent, she needs help with the phone bill, they are going to cut the electricity off and her dear old mother, who she is supporting, needs surgery on her gall bladder. What are we going to talk about on our dates? And you asked this poor unfortunate out? Well, you ought to marry her. It doesn't sound like she can take another disappointment.


14) While my life might have its rocky moments it is a better then average chance that yours has even more so and all my dating you can do is bring further instablity into my life than I have to deal with already. And we know that even keel is very important. Which is why we are all dying to date guys that come in and pay girls (and based on this, not inevitably us) for our (ahem) affection and attention. Because they are stable.

So anyway. Thanks a lot. Now everyone who reads this is going to NOT WANT to ask us out. That's just great. Now who will we date? (I'm so lonely).

Jenny
03-26-2005, 12:32 AM
You're making it personal. That is a sign of a weak argument.

All I said my point was that while Colleen's post had merit it should be understood that there is merit to the counter-balancing 'other side of the coin' on the same issue.

If you can't see that, and must take it personally and get nasty in response, then I truly don't know what to tell ya. 8)

See you in the Penthouse VIP. }:D [if she is who I think she is she is a much nicer soul in person, and quite enjoyable up close]

And, by the way - no it's not. It's a sign that she was offended, but not interested enough to respond seriously. You saw how long my post was - that is some serious internet commitment.

In terms of counter balancing - no it's not. The original was innocent, and in light spirits. Yours was not, what with the vitriol and all.

And I think she is stunning, just exactly how she is here - soul and all.

Jenny
03-26-2005, 12:33 AM
Oh dear, ND, now I think we need the OTHER opposite thread:

"The REAL reasons strippers date customers" :O
Oooh! I'll even do that one if someone else starts!

NinaDaisy
03-26-2005, 03:50 AM
I'm so past the point of being offended.

Take it all with a grain of salt and lighten up.

polecat
03-26-2005, 02:52 PM
Hmm.. My feelings about this thread can best be summed up by one image...
http://tinypic.com/2d0z04

erotictonic
03-26-2005, 04:45 PM
I don't care if you wanna date me or not. I don't date guys who go to sc on a regular basis. For bachelor parties, is fine, or we can go together. Other than that, no way. I also don't date guys that hold your ethics.

doc-catfish
03-26-2005, 05:20 PM
An interesting list either way.

However true dancer or customer stereotypes may be, I think I'll go on giving each dancer whom I deal with the opportunity to show me her true colors individually. In my experience that has worked better than making a value judgments of them based on what some (or possibly even most) women in her line of work are like.

Just the same, I don't think that dancers should be making similar judgments of their customers. "Regular visits" to strip clubs don't automatically constitute perversion or patheticness. If two people don't have chemistry for a personal relationship, then they shouldn't date, simple as that.

Moneywise
03-26-2005, 06:01 PM
An interesting list either way.

However true dancer or customer stereotypes may be, I think I'll go on giving each dancer whom I deal with the opportunity to show me her true colors individually. In my experience that has worked better than making a value judgments of them based on what some (or possibly even most) women in her line of work are like.

Just the same, I don't think that dancers should be making similar judgments of their customers. "Regular visits" to strip clubs don't automatically constitute perversion or patheticness. If two people don't have chemistry for a personal relationship, then they shouldn't date, simple as that.

On one extreme you have Thorn. On the opposite extreme you have erotictonic. I'm sure they'll both light this thread up like a chrsitmas tree.

I'm also

http://tinypic.com/2d0z04
.

KC Joe
03-26-2005, 06:07 PM
Personally, I'd never want to date a stripper. I only want to have sex with them.

And then go home.

erotictonic
03-26-2005, 07:44 PM
An interesting list either way.

However true dancer or customer stereotypes may be, I think I'll go on giving each dancer whom I deal with the opportunity to show me her true colors individually. In my experience that has worked better than making a value judgments of them based on what some (or possibly even most) women in her line of work are like.

Just the same, I don't think that dancers should be making similar judgments of their customers. "Regular visits" to strip clubs don't automatically constitute perversion or patheticness. If two people don't have chemistry for a personal relationship, then they shouldn't date, simple as that.

I'm not making a value judgement. It's just not something that I am willing to deal with. I think I deserve better. Those are my rules. It's based on many reasons, but I don't make value judgements on groups of people, generally. I don't want to be with someone who goes to strip clubs alot. It's what I want, and it's what I get.

Katrine
03-27-2005, 12:19 AM
Personally, I'd never want to date a stripper. I only want to have sex with them.

And then go home.

How about that, ME TOO!! }:D

Dude, I wouldn't recommend dating a stripper. That's what I tell customers to get them to leave me alone, " you wouldn't want to date a STRIPPER now would you?? My tone of voice with the word stripper makes it sound like I am describing a neo-nazi child molester. It works every time. 8)

I like these threads, the less they ask me out, the less I hate them and laugh about them in the dressing room.;D

mr_punk
03-27-2005, 09:06 AM
A thread was started on the pink side, by Collen, about why dancers shouldn't date customers. A lot of what she said made sense and some of it seemed to promote negative customer stereotypes.what she is describing only applies to strippers looking for a BF and why not to look for them in a sc. on a side note: why a customer would go into a sc specifically looking to date a stripper is beyond me. if it just happens fine, but some guys do have the idea of finding a GF in a sc. BTW, when i say date. i mean it in the sense of a serious sort of relationship.


Good and bad of it aside, how many of you feel as I do that dancers need to know there is a flip side of the coin to that [as there is to most things in life] and there are some very valid reasons why customers should date dancers.there is a certain amount of flakiness involved when dealing with strippers in general. however, what you're describing is a dealing with a level of flakiness of a much higher magnitude. unless, someone is seriously dating a stripper. a customer would be better off leaving those type of question and problems to her BF or SO. better him than me.