View Full Version : I Need Advice.....
I'm not a troll...... and I don't see the problem with dating young women......My ex is 19... anyways, send me a private message if you'd like to share why you think I have "issues".... I'm sorry you feel that way. Its never been my intent to offend anyone on here.....
Moneywise
06-10-2005, 05:15 PM
Err... the advice is accurate, but is it also an attempt to win an award for stating the bleeding obvious?
Phil.
lmao. I hadn't been to the board in awhile but I had to see if this thread had died a rather appropriate death yet. Is the real name actually Dr. Stating The Obvious? Most of us have already been there:done that doc. I see dating a dancer not different than any other woman. You pick & choose your battles. Take "dancer" out of the equation for a second. Woman have different levels of baggage as do men. The key is wading through the pleather to find the prize. there's nothing like the feel of a fine piece of genuine leather. nada.
I think you're a troll. your posts are becoming progressively more Nestle Troll House cookie cutterlike.
Regardless, enjoy the ride. We can only advise. We can't aim it for you.
yoda57us
06-10-2005, 05:26 PM
Don't worry doc, your not even close to offending me. I just think your full of it, that's all.
Your a shrink pushing 30 and you don't see a problem with dating women who are 10 years younger than you? It's true what they say, most shrinks are more screwed up than the people they try to help.
You posted on a public forum so you got a public response. Sorry but I only PM people that display at least SOME credibility.
xdamage
06-13-2005, 10:30 AM
I don't see any problem with a man only dating significantly younger women (or vice versa) as long as the man is clear-minded about what drives him. Not to say this is you doc, but I have known more than one psych that only dated much younger women. Problem is when it came to themselves they were completely blind to their own motives in the matter. But from an outsiders point of view, it was blatantly clear that they were chasing after younger women because of some pretty basic things.
1.) younger women = sexier or more sexually active
2.) younger women = more naive, much easier to manipulate/control
Younger women do grow up though, as do their men. At some point they tend to wake up and realize that:
1.) they too could have someone younger to have sex with
2.) they aren't so naive anymore, they are 'better', and they resent the control
I too have red alarm bells go off in my head when a man chases after much younger women, women that he wants to fix (aka "help") versus forming relationships with women his own age that don't need to be fixed.
Jay Zeno
06-13-2005, 12:13 PM
Your ex is 19? Interesting. How long ago did you split up? How long were you together?
Jenny
06-13-2005, 02:32 PM
There is something a little off about either sex wanting to date someone either a lot older or a lot younger. When I was a kid (between 16 and 19), of couse, I thought I was SO mature, and special and not like other immature 16-19 year olds. In retrospect... something a little off there.
I mean, I'm 28. I can't even imagine what I would have to discuss with someone 18 or 19 years old. Like, "Hi honey, how was homeroom? How are your college applications coming? What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's weird. Oooh. Like Nip/Tuck. Does anyone else watch Nip/Tuck?
That presupposes a lot of "talking" with the girl
I think guys should go for chicks in their early twenties regardless of their own age.
Like this guy:
Phil-W
06-13-2005, 03:38 PM
I mean, I'm 28. I can't even imagine what I would have to discuss with someone 18 or 19 years old. Like, "Hi honey, how was homeroom? How are your college applications coming? What do you want to be when you grow up?" It's weird. Oooh. Like Nip/Tuck. Does anyone else watch Nip/Tuck?
Horses for courses - over the last 3 years I've developed quite a friendship with a Scandinavian girl I met via her dancing. We go out for meals, are quite happy round each others houses, etc - in short we really enjoy each other's company. We've never been short of things to talk about - I've learned a lot from her interests, and she mine. I'm 47, she's 24.
I'm also in the process of drifting into a relationship with a 29 year old - and it was she who made her interest in me rather clear, not vice versa. The first time we met, we talked for 5 hours solid. I've known her, mainly as a friend, for over two years. We can still talk for hour upon hour on a wide range of subjects without going over the same ground or getting bored.
I just like interesting people - age and other criteria are irrelevant.
Each to their own....
Phil.
yoda57us
06-13-2005, 05:30 PM
I think the diference has more to do with maturity than actual age. I'm 47 and most of the dancers I'm attracted to OTC are late 20's early 30's, the same in clubs. There is typically a 15 to 20 year difference in our ages but we are both mature adults-as opposed to if she where 20 and I where 35 or 40. I don't know WHAT we would talk about and frankly, I think older women make much better dancers as well.
Jenny
06-13-2005, 06:37 PM
What exactly is a course horse anyway?
SportsWriter2
06-13-2005, 07:39 PM
What exactly is a course horse anyway?
"There are horses for courses" refers to a concept in horse racing. There are grass courses and various kinds of dirt courses, plus different lengths for each. Lots of variables, but there's always a horse that does well on one kind of course and not another.
Susan Wayward
06-13-2005, 08:03 PM
The relationship between a 29-yr-old woman and a 47-yr-old man seems to me to stand on different ground than one between a 29-year-old man and a 19-yr-old woman even though the actual age difference is smaller. You know, better a 20-yr gap between a 30 and a 50 than a six year gap between a 21 and a 15.
But I don't think the age difference should really be an issue between a fake psychologist and a fictional stripper . . .
Phil-W
06-13-2005, 09:34 PM
The relationship between a 29-yr-old woman and a 47-yr-old man seems to me to stand on different ground than one between a 29-year-old man and a 19-yr-old woman even though the actual age difference is smaller
It all comes down to respect for the other party - in effect understanding what they want out of a friendship/relationship and behaving accordingly. With any woman I befriend or have a relationship with, I would hope to understand the limits thay were comfortable within and respect them.
Age difference is thus somewhat academic - you can treat someone well or badly irrespective of whether there is a 1 year or 25 year difference in your ages.
Phil.
xdamage
06-14-2005, 09:03 AM
I won't bullshit. Like so many guys I also am attracted to younger women. They are generally enthusiastic, energetic, idealistic, generally sexier, and frankly, because they are a little bit naive and the twisted side of me gets a cheap thrill knowing that I have far more experience in most areas of life. But, and while I am sure there are exceptions, in general I have far more fullfilling conversations with women closer to my own age. Its just much rarer to meet women my own age that aren't burnt out, that still have drive/passion, that are still pushing themselves, that take care of themselves (work out, eat right, etc), that haven't turned into nothing but eating-machines and burnt out moms. I can't cope with burn-outs, no passion, no drive, no nothing but just getting by day to day. People like that I just want to slap and say WAKE THE FUCK UP! YOU HAVE TIME TO DO NOTHING WHEN YOUR DEAD!
So I get the attraction to younger women - but I'd prefer most of their qualities in a woman that is closer to my own age, assuming she isn't a burn-out. A late 30 year old, early 40 year old woman can be very hot, if she takes care of herself.
Some of you are making a lot more out of it than it is....its no big deal. I was with the 19 year old for almost a year....broke up in January. Younger women are better looking, and they like interesting men.....a 20 year old girl will find a 30 year old more interesting than someone her own age. Life experience, a respectable position, some stability, are factors women deem attractive......as far as younger women go, sure, its mostly a physical thing. I'm not out to fix anyone, control anyone, nor use anyone.....Age is just a number....I think the issue some of you should look into is why you're so negative, bitter, and expect the absolute worst in people....lighten up!
xdamage
06-14-2005, 07:43 PM
Age is just a number....
It's "just a number" when your dating a much older woman ;)
Jay Zeno
06-14-2005, 08:23 PM
Some of you are making a lot more out of it than it is....its no big deal. I was with the 19 year old for almost a year....broke up in January. Younger women are better looking, and they like interesting men.....a 20 year old girl will find a 30 year old more interesting than someone her own age. Life experience, a respectable position, some stability, are factors women deem attractive......as far as younger women go, sure, its mostly a physical thing. I'm not out to fix anyone, control anyone, nor use anyone.....Age is just a number....I think the issue some of you should look into is why you're so negative, bitter, and expect the absolute worst in people....lighten up!
So she was certainly 18, possibly 17, when you were going out, and you were ... 28? And that's the story. Got it.
And you're a psych professional stereotyping women's motivations by age. Got it.
Age is just a number. Got it. But some numbers are bigger and more meaningful than others.
I don't expect the worst in people. Actually, when I meet people I assume the best. I'm not bitter. But I do like to dwell in facts.
xdamage
06-14-2005, 08:32 PM
In context (which is what matters) you're a psychologist obsessing over a much younger stripper. In a different context how I perceive the situation would be somewhat different. The bitterness you may detect in my posts doesn't apply to everday life - this is not an everyday situation.
Alexis1313
06-15-2005, 08:46 AM
Okay......I'm not very good with the whole quote function thingy when it comes to referring to several different posts so those of you who want to check this will just have to go back for yourself like I did. Sorry:-[
Anyways. Did anyone else notice that the when referring to the dancers age the good Dr. here first said she was 21 and then changed it to 23??? And in one post he said that the oldest girl he'd dated was 24, but now this dancer at 23 is the oldest girl he's dated???
Maybe I'm wrong here, but it seems to me like this whole thread is just about the Dr. wanting a pat on the back and an ego boost for fucking younger women and strippers.
So here ya go. :highfive: :thumbsup: :cheers: Congratulations on being such a strapping, virile, smart, and wonderful white knight. Have fun with your little princess.::)
yoda57us
06-15-2005, 11:13 AM
Age is just a number....I think the issue some of you should look into is why you're so negative, bitter, and expect the absolute worst in people....lighten up!
Whoaaaaaaaaaaaa, stop the truck Jethro....
You came HERE asking US for opinions.
We may sometimes be negative, We are not BITTER, we are experienced. Do you want the truth or do you want a sugar coated "You go boy, you are different from every SC customer and your girl is different from every other dancer" butt-kissing.
You can do whatever you want. You asked and we responded. That's how a chat board works. If you don't want to hear our responses then STOP posting and go away.
Congratulations DrJM/Troll/Whatever. By telling us all to "lighten up" you have now progressed to the final stage of troll orientation here on SCJ. This is usualy one of the last posts we see before insults and moderation begin to take over the thread. It's been real.
I'm not insulting anyone, and I'm not a troll.....I'm not obsessing about younger women....nor am I obsessing over a stripper....I like her, big difference...and this is my last reply on this thread....I'm not here for conflict...
Moneywise
06-16-2005, 08:55 AM
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Angel1112
07-11-2005, 08:05 PM
well Dr.......you look at it like if you met her in any other bar, i suppose...... give her your phone number, get hers and call her try to see her outside of work on her nights off,ask her out!!...since she is working when you come in so she is still in work mode even if she does show intrest in you so therefore she may still "act " in dancer mode while she is talking to you.I know i am a totally different person outside of work and even if i do meet a guy i like in the club im still in work mode also.
So you really can't tell if she likes you or is just treating you like a special customer, you really need to talk over phone and outside of work and go out on a date to find out who she is and if she is a person with integrity...Good luck.
Derek
08-06-2005, 09:18 AM
Dancers sell a fantasy - (1) that they like u and (2) that they are yer GF. This is true whether OTC or ITC. These gals are great pros at playing this game and manipulating guys to get $. Their goal is to empty your wallet and then move on to the next customer. I play them for my own sport, entertainment, and fun and work to stay within budget. I have had great sex with dancers OTC and this is merely for entertainment and sport. I use the fact that they occasionally need money OTC to pay rent, food, etc. in order to fuck them.
As far as ITC I enjoy the free food and do not spend more than $100 on lap dances per visit.