View Full Version : Breast Feeding In Public
Rhiannon
06-09-2005, 12:07 PM
As for the original topic which has gone way off at this point--- I see absolutely nothing wrong with a woman breastfeeding in public. I think the right thing to do is conceal it all with a blanket, but whatever. You have the choice to look or not to look. If you don't look, you can just shrug it off and go on with your day.
I nursed 2 of my children. I was always wary of doing it in public, so I never did. I'd always head home, or even take the baby into the car if we were out and about.
gypsy_girlchild
06-09-2005, 12:40 PM
Damn.. There seems to be no pleasing some people that don't have children. The portable DVD player kept the child quiet, so there must be something else to complain about. Sorry if this seems harsh, but that's ridiculous. Which would you have preferred? A screaming child kicking your seat, or having to put up with listening to a movie repeatedly? Some parents DO take measures to keep their children under control and happy so they don't disturb anyone, and yet, their methods even bother you.
I was actually making a joke, I didn't think anyone would get so pissy about it.
I could have complained to the conductor about the noise because I am sure you know that on any type of transportation you HAVE TO HAVE headphones. It doesn't matter if it's stopping a child from acting up or not, you must be wearing headphones and the volume should not be heard by anyone else.
I thought it was amusing that the soundtrack followed me into my sleep and wasn't neccessarily bothered too much by it.
BigGreenMnM
06-09-2005, 12:48 PM
lol!!!!!!
yea,you try to keep twin 3 year olds sitting for a long plane ride,and NO,they wont let you store them in the baggage compartment,I asked.They wont let you drug them and its not like Direct TV,you cant just leave them and get a new kid hookup at the new house when ya get there.
Not sure what other options are best for the kids themselves when it comes to PUBLIC cross country travel.I would kill myself,both twins,and a handfull of assorted nearby passengers long before arrival on a bus ride that takes twice as long,and im guessing its the same for trains.Double the cost and double the travel time.
I have seen the shitty parents who let thier kids run wild,so i feel people on this,but for the most part,many are doing the best they can,its kids.
I dont take them to the movies(like im going to pay for them to not watch a whole movie and pee every 15 mins!HA!!)I also dont take them to restaurants or events that are geared towards big kids or adults.
Now if you find us at Macdee's,or golden family buffet house,or at the park on a sunny day,and the sound of my childrens laughter or playing is disturbing your picnic,TFB.
(not directed to anyone here)
Rhiannon
06-09-2005, 12:49 PM
Hmm.. Well, I didn't know it was intended as a joke. Yeah I did get pissy, because it came off as a ridiculous complaint. On one hand, people are complaining about kids screaming, and on the other people are complaining about the way the kids are being kept quiet. There's no pleasing people.
I'm well aware of the headphones rule. Who knows why they weren't used by the people you had to deal with? Ignorance on their part, I guess. Or, they couldn't put headphones on their kids and keep them there? I don't know.
gypsy_girlchild
06-09-2005, 12:57 PM
It's all good, sorry I got pissy back.
I don't mind kids as long as they are cool. I hate the idea idea of being seen and not heard, kids can have great insight sometimes, or just be plain quirky and that's great as well.
As for the babyfeeding issue, I guess it's hard to please people as well. If the baby cries they want it silent, if the mother feeds, they don't want to see it.
As I've written before I don't care about seeing the woman's breast. I can always look away, it's harder to cover your ears than it is to divert your eyes. Plus, the feeding doesn't go on for hours the way a hungry baby can.
I don't watch a woman feed her child, I look away, if only to be respectful to her, I don't find id disrespectful to me at all.
Rhiannon
06-09-2005, 01:16 PM
No harm done, Hon.. I'm apologize as well. My "Bitch-Switch" has been full on for a few days.. It'll blow over.. LOL
Nicolina
06-09-2005, 02:01 PM
This is because of the fact Americans allow disruptive behaviors, as opposed to other countries.
This seems like a ridiculous contention. What leads you to believe this????
nychaos99
06-09-2005, 02:20 PM
It is my own ignorance and strong dislike toward uneducated people, fat people, crying babies, and people who smell bad, and I'm sure there are many others who get on my nerves.
Truthfully, Americans are well-known for their arrogance and true belief that they have the right to sue anyone for anything, as well as take people's children away from them----
God forbid you grab your child's arm, yell at a kid, repremand them in any way and suddenly people are staring at you where ever you are, hissing and making comments.
I am tired from being at work, and I have to stay in my club here tonight, so I am unintensionally and abrubtly ending my thoughts on this. Sorry...will continue tomorrow.
I love kids by the way, my boyfriends' sister has 5 (yes, 5!)-
IACali
06-09-2005, 02:41 PM
Just a quick bit...
2 years old is no where near too old to be bf'ing, or unhealthy for the child. In fact, there are multiple studies which show the benefits of bf'ing toddlers. I can hunt them down in my bookmarks if you'd like.
The AAP recommends 3 years for bf'ing, the World Peds. Assoc recommends 4 years. My 22 month old does bf for comfort a lot of the time, but she's getting nutrition as well. Trust me, you know when your milk supply is depleting, and it doesn't feel good... I wouldn't let her suck on me if I were dry!!
Many toddlers have solid food diets but still receive a bundle of nutrition from breastmilk. How many toddlers have you known that eat from all of the food groups? Most are picky as hell (my cousin would only eat white foods for an entire year when she was 2-3. White cheddar mac n cheese, mozzarella, white bread, vanilla yogurt, cottage cheese, etc....). What a better way to get them their vitamins and minerals.
(Yay to that mom in the pic with the older nursling!!)
IACali
06-09-2005, 02:43 PM
God forbid you grab your child's arm, yell at a kid,
And these are necessary and healthy for the child in what way? Unless the child is in immediate danger, I see no need to grab his or her arm. Parental convenience in the form of discipline. Sad.
showgirlschloe
06-09-2005, 04:14 PM
Wow nychaos99, you are a very opinionated person. I always thought that the French were known for their arrogance. Goes to show I don't know that much, huh? As I see it, all people of any nationality or country has some level of arrogance.
nychaos99
06-10-2005, 07:43 AM
All countries have arrogance- it depends on what kind (or what subject matter)- unfortunately, our country is also obese, which just adds to how others view us. Sad. It really is.
And Cali, you bet your ass I am going to grab my child's arm or shirt when he/she is acting up. I am NOT someone who tolerates a rambunctious disruptive child. Yes, I believe in discipline the way you are talking about, I'm just saying that I am not going to stand by and smile while my kid is ruining everyone else's day.
Wow, I'm pretty angry today. Sorry guys, work has been rough (and I can't even discuss it with you guys because everyone knows where I work) and I'm totally agitated with this stupid-ass Barbara Walters shit and breastfeeding protesters. Thank goodness it's Friday. I pray for sanity.
Pamela
06-10-2005, 08:13 AM
Well we all have our opinions. Just thank God you don't live in Sweden! Lol.
I breast fed my daughter mainly at home, but there had been times i forgot to 'pump' my milk into a bottle before going out. In all honesty i could not cover her head while feeding, she would cry, really.
I would pull my tit out and feed her. This is natural, normal, and if i seen anyone taking pictures i would whip my heel in his face!! This is the chance we take in life.
I am very open, i don't mind obese people, and everyone smells at times, and babies need food for survival! Breast feeding is NOT sexual, and for every pervert who gets a woody for looking needs to learn how to control his thoughts. Again, being an open minded person, there is a HUGE fetish for this. So, i am sure i helped many guys out with their "fetish.'
But do i give a rats ass? Hell no. I will damn well do what i please, as breast feeding is not against the law! Now grabbing a child arm because you are mad, and many people see this can damn sure get you locked up. The only time we should yank or grab hard on our childrens arm is when they are in danger.
I still see a spank on the butt now and again today, and that seems fine enough (hospital i'm at) but when they grab that arm and spank a few times eyebrows are raised...Not good.
But again, having children changes the way many feel who don't have children yet. Kinda like if you got FAT, i think you would think twice about others in the same boat as you.
Kinda like death...it changes one most of the time very much.
Pamela
Rhiannon
06-10-2005, 08:45 AM
VERY well said, Pamela.
Now grabbing a child arm because you are mad, and many people see this can damn sure get you locked up. The only time we should yank or grab hard on our childrens arm is when they are in danger.
I still see a spank on the butt now and again today, and that seems fine enough (hospital i'm at) but when they grab that arm and spank a few times eyebrows are raised...Not good.
I am definitely a person whose eyebrows are raised, and whose blood gets boiling when I see parents threatening to "whoop" their kids' asses when I'm out in stores. I've even gone so far as to bitch a person out because of it, and nearly start throwing punches (That happened a few weeks ago at Walmart). Even my husband, who could give a shit less about anyone outside of our little family doesn't tolerate that. Kids should be allowed to be kids. Shit, they grow up fast enough. Before you know it, their childhoods are over and they're raising kids of their own.
The kid in Walmart couldn't have been more than 4 or 5. He was playing in the toy aisle, quietly. His parents were just at the end of the aisle, and all of a sudden they started screaming at the top of their lungs at him, saying how if he didn't stop playing with the toys, they were going to "whoop his ass" when they got to the car. Nice, huh? My Husband spoke up first, then I did.
There is a difference between discipline and child abuse. People don't realize that, and think just because a child is theirs, they can do whatever the hell they please. They couldn't be more wrong.
I've always been told that I'm a "Hippy Mom", because I will let my kids do just about anything, as long as they're not disturbing others, hurting others or themselves. I've never spanked, like I said. This is their childhood, and I want to make sure they enjoy every second of being little. It doesn't last long, if you blink, you miss it all.
evan_essence
06-10-2005, 08:48 AM
Ok, then. Here it is.
Let me ask you a question: If you were breastfeeding next to me, uncovered, would you be offended if I took a picture of your breast? I mean, you ARE in public. Therefore I have every right (by law) to take photos of you. Would it bother you if I then posted them all over the internet? On porn sites as well as public forums? See, by law, and act performed in public is not subject to privacy (meaning you have forfeited your right to privacy). If you don't believe me, just look at "Girls Gone Wild" as an example. No one was paid, their acts were done in public, and the guy made a LOT of money off of them. So, on that comment, would you be offended if I took a picture? I mean, you really have no choice anyway.I'm not a lawyer so I can only speak from my layman's understanding of these concepts, but basically you've mischaracterized this a bit. At issue in your example is right of publicity, not just right of privacy. The right of publicity is mainly exercised by celebrities because their images have monetary value but it's applicable to everyone. It varies from state to state, but generally you have a right to control the use of your image in certain presentations. If I take a picture of you appearing in public and use it in a news context, I've got a First Amendment right to do that without getting your permission. If I use your public image in a non-news way, especially in a commercial way, such as slapping it on a coffee mug and selling it to the public, you have a right of publicity to stop me from doing that without getting your permission.
The Girls Gone Wild videos probably are defined as commercial entertainment, not news, and I'm not familiar with the details, but I'm pretty sure the makers get some sort of permission from the girls. The girls may be drunk and give verbal permission full of ambiguity, and argued in court later, but it's nonetheless an attempt to at least superficially satisfy the permission requirement. Whether your act of posting photos of breastfeeding mothers would require their permission or not would be a debatable point hinging on whether it's First Amendment protected expression or a commercial venture for fetishists. It's disingenuous to say it's news, but I suppose you could present it as social commentary which would also be protected. In short, these issues aren't always as clear cut as you might think and that's why civil lawyers make so much money.
-Ev
showgirlschloe
06-10-2005, 09:55 AM
I'm thinking this little thread and the other like it might belong in political poo.
Rhiannon
06-10-2005, 10:03 AM
So far, it's been discussed pretty well and hasn't gotten too heated. Politics really haven't been brought into it. However, if politics start to overtake the original intent of the thread, it will be moved there.
showgirlschloe
06-10-2005, 10:04 AM
all righty. I'm really tired of people expressing how much they dislike children. It's really hard for me not to lay into people.
Rhiannon
06-10-2005, 10:05 AM
Hahaha.. I know how you feel hon.. Really, I do.
:hug:
IvyLeague
06-10-2005, 05:15 PM
Ok I asked a lawyer friend about things mentioned in this topic and law states in NYC that if your taking someones picture with the intent of using it in print/web work etc it's illegal to do so without that persons signed consent. So thats out of the way.
I have a 3 month old baby (who i'm actually breastfeeding at this moment) she wont take a bottle at all so I have to strictly let her on the breast. I can say i've fed her in public without covering up because with the chaos of getting the baby out you sometimes forget a blanket or coverup. Also my little one has issues with the heat so to cover her up to feed her in this kind of heat could cause health issues for her. I actually fed her in the diner the other morning while i ate my breakfast and several of the servers made a point to come over and say how beautiful and wonderful that was and to bring me extra water.
I wont feed my baby anyplace i'm not willing to eat my lunch so for the people that think we should go into the restroom to feed think of it in respects of eating your meal there, not so pleasant is it? We do what we have to do when we have to do it.
MsTopaz
06-11-2005, 06:51 AM
i have no problem with women breast feeding in public...but cover up ladies...you don't want to have someone following you home...stalking you...attacking you...or worse...after seeing you feed your child...there's nothing prudish about being safe...don't encourage the pervs...
thank you
242_fair
06-11-2005, 01:44 PM
On the topic of children, though this isn't about breast feeding...
A couple days ago I'm looking off my verandah onto the playground and I see this little aisan kid running around with this long pointy stick. I'm always so goddammed scared that kids are going to hurt themselves in a permenant way, I just couldn't take my eyes off her. Then, she starts going down the slide with this 2 ft stick in her hands, and I'm getting so nervous because it's like a spear and I can just picture her getting hurt. Then, the kid starts chassing another kid with the stick and using it like a sword. So finally I cant take it any more and I put my house shoes on and go down to the playground. I go up to this kid and I'm like 'Little girl, that stick is so dangerous, I came all the way down from my verandah to tell you to put it down.' And she's stunned, like 'it IS dangerous??' and she puts it in a trash bin and walks away like a little angel.
Where the hell are parents?? Why do people think its safe to let a kid play alone at 7 years old outside. They have no judgment at that age as to what is safe. God. It makes me so annoyed.
CuriousJ
06-11-2005, 02:00 PM
Feed the babies !! whip it out... if you dont like it turn your head its a natural thing .
Rhiannon
06-11-2005, 04:22 PM
My newest issue of People magazine came in today (Brad & Angelina on the cover.. blech), and somewhere inside it had a little article on the whole Barbara Walters thing. Seems that a bunch of breastfeeding Moms staged a protest (with La Leche League), complete with their babies nursing right outside the studio.
A little extreme, but more power to ya, girls!
red diving girl
06-11-2005, 08:24 PM
wow, i think this thread is even more controversial that some of the abortion ones! (though it seems the pro-public feeding side has overwhelmed the dissenters).
i think mrchris pretty much summarized my thoughts in one of the earliest posts.
this is partly an issue of where one's personal rights reign over those of the masses -- my rights do end where they start infringing on yours but YOUR rights do not include the "right not to be offended" or "right not to see so-called ugly things." it was not long ago where the "general public" would be horrified to see public displays of same-sex or inter-racial (my mum and pop and her mum and pop! :D ) affection equivalent to acceptable displays by hetero or same-race couples. it is ludicrous now to suggest that they cease that behavior for the comfort of others. humans should have the right to FEED their CHILDREN (those little beings we once all were) wherever need be. if anyone has a problem with it, it is THEIR problem.
this i believe is also an issue of the control over the behavior of women. having children is not inherently a burden and hinderence in mainstream, everyday society, it is only MADE that way by this type of training and repression. women are not only faced with the virgin/whore and pretty/competent dichotomies, but also the sexual being/mother roles that are expected to be mutually exclusive. the breast is so sexual that it must be hidden? always? come on! i am have NOT been carrying around my 34cs for eight years and forseeibly the rest of my life to PLEASE MEN or to look good in a dress (a degrading thought! though --- i will stand to make a few bux off of them that way hehehe - has anyone grasped the irony of this topic on this board!!?), what the hell else are they for?! i once heard a girl say "oh breastfeeding is okay -- but only until the child is still young enough not to remember", as if the memory of being FED as a child would be sexually traumatizing! only in a culture that keeps pounding it in that it is dirty, and wrong, a necessary evil.
if you look at the reasoning of the severe repression of women, for example, in state-sanctioned fundamentalist muslim communities, it is not all that different - women have to be covered because they are naturally sexual and obscene, women cant speak to men they arent related to because it is sexual and obscene, women can't DRIVE because it is too public and that is obscene. the (sometimes) taboo of breastfeeding in public is specific to WOMEN ONLY!
on the other hand, i think this public controversy is a good indication that a significant segment of the population is very pro breastfeeding in general, as it is so psychologically and nutritonally healthy. i know that some women CAN'T breastfeed, and it is good that we live in countries where safe and healthy alternatives are affordably manufactured, but there are many places (i believe some sections of greece) where it is rare that women breastfeed at all, because it "ruins" the look of one's chest. that is the ultimate tragedy.
in conclusion, when i decide to ever have children, i will joyfully breastfeed in public, possibly covering with a blanket if it is convenient and possible to stop the googling of passersby. but if anyone says anything rude or asks me to stop, i will surely whip out BOTH tits AND a middle finger.
velvet
06-12-2005, 01:49 PM
VERY well said, Pamela.
I am definitely a person whose eyebrows are raised, and whose blood gets boiling when I see parents threatening to "whoop" their kids' asses when I'm out in stores. I've even gone so far as to bitch a person out because of it, and nearly start throwing punches (That happened a few weeks ago at Walmart). Even my husband, who could give a shit less about anyone outside of our little family doesn't tolerate that. Kids should be allowed to be kids. Shit, they grow up fast enough. Before you know it, their childhoods are over and they're raising kids of their own.
The kid in Walmart couldn't have been more than 4 or 5. He was playing in the toy aisle, quietly. His parents were just at the end of the aisle, and all of a sudden they started screaming at the top of their lungs at him, saying how if he didn't stop playing with the toys, they were going to "whoop his ass" when they got to the car. Nice, huh? My Husband spoke up first, then I did.
There is a difference between discipline and child abuse. People don't realize that, and think just because a child is theirs, they can do whatever the hell they please. They couldn't be more wrong.
I've always been told that I'm a "Hippy Mom", because I will let my kids do just about anything, as long as they're not disturbing others, hurting others or themselves. I've never spanked, like I said. This is their childhood, and I want to make sure they enjoy every second of being little. It doesn't last long, if you blink, you miss it all.
wait till you see what i saw quite a bit of in memphis. women with actual tree "switches" in their purse!
Katrine
06-13-2005, 03:52 AM
As long as the ladies will continue to breastfeed ME in public, I am fine with any opinion on babies, which are poopy. ;)
Madcap
06-13-2005, 04:07 AM
My mom used to spank the living crap out of me, but then i was a little shit and deserved every whack...
Sasha333
06-13-2005, 04:53 AM
wow, this is my topic. I breast fed both my sons and did it where ever ad whenever they were hungry.
I did not lift off my shirt or anything, I just reached under, grabbed it and fed, usually you saw nothing, UNLESS you were TRYING to look. Sometimes I had those breastfeeding shirts on with the slit...but they were frally frumpy in style, so usually not.
If you saw something wrong with me feeding my baby in public, there is something wrong with you. If you connected feeding my babys to something sexual or gross or perverse because it involved my breast, there is definitly something wrong with you and you have issues.
I absolutly REFUSED to go to the bathroom to feed my baby...would you want to eat in the bathroom, thats discusting!
Most women do it fine without a need to go out of the way to cover up....you can usually see more of a womans breast with a low cut shirt than you can while there is a baby attached to her nipple. Thats a fact!
IvyLeague
06-15-2005, 02:19 PM
WorldWide Breastfeeding Week August 1-7th Activities and fundraisers are goign on all over the world. You can find further info on the LaLeche League website. or by doing a google search for with the topic of "worldwide breastfeeding week 2005" My 3month old daughter will be sporting a t-shirt that states "BURN THE BRAS FREE THE BOOBS"
Miss Courtney
06-22-2005, 05:15 PM
I have had 3 wait staff come up to me and ask me to cover up because I was making other people ucomfortable. I asked to speak to mangement. I asked mangement if they ate with their faces under a blanket. All answered no, so I told them my child shouldn't have to either.
Kryssy I would do the same if someone asked me to cover up. What MrChris said sums it up for me.
I am breastfeeding my 5 month old baby now and I feed him whenever he's hungry, whether we're at home or out somewhere. I have had no complaints from anyone, I feed him in restaurants, benches, anywhere, without putting a blanket over his gorgeous face. I think breastfeeding is totally natural and if people feel uncomfortable they shouldn't be looking.
Some vegetarian people are offended or uncomfortable when people eat meat in front of them but we don't ask them to cover their heads while they eat.