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hannah83
07-23-2005, 10:46 PM
k...have to vent a lil bit, just want to make sure i'm not crazy for thinkin this was weird.

So my boyfriend's friend was having his bachelor party saturday nite and he had wanted me to find girls for it. So i did, it was $500/girl in the door plus tips. For 4 hours...which is pretty decent. but at the last minute one of his "boys" told him that he had some girls that would do it for only $250/girl. So he cancelled on me. Which is no big deal, until i got a call later on tonite. I guess the so-called friend had brought only 1 girl and she was ugly as hell.
I figured they would be asking me to call up the girls i had for them and ask them to come over. But instead of that, they had the audacity to ask me to dance for them!

they are crazy. i'm not about to dance for my boyfriend's friends and pretend like i didn't get half-naked around them when we all hang out.

but i go out there b/c i wanted to see if they were exaggerating(sp?) on how the girl looked. They weren't lying @ all. She was old and looked like a crack whore. I guess the girl was only there for about 45 minutes and she left when i got there. I got all ready to dance, I thought i could do it. I wanted to help out the bf's friend, make his bachelor party fun. b/c he was soooo sad and just looked miserable. but when i got dressed and walked out to the barn. Yep...they were holding it in a barn. With florescent lights and cement floors, and a TON of mosquitos. Not a smart thing to do...but whatever.

i get out there and instantly feel out of place. Like a piece of meat. And while i'm used to that feeling(due to work) i've never experienced it around his friends. So i change my mind and get dressed. I want to leave and go home, tell my boyfriend to have fun and call me if he needs a ride. but he tells me to stay. So i stay but kept getting rude comments from this guy. Keeps yelling things like "Where are the strippers???" and he came up to me and said "well you obviously failed at taking your clothes off, why are you still here?" And if that didn't hurt, he would say loudly "why's the bitch still here?"

guess i want to know if i was wrong for backing out of it. I just wanted to help him out. But it was just too weird. I moved to the town i live in now b/c i wanted a fresh start, i didn't want to be known as the "stripper". I just wanted a normal life. I think i lost that illusion tonite.

What upsets me even more is the fact that my boyfriend called me up asking me to dance for his friends. Did he not think that maybe i'd feel awkward? or did he just want to flaunt around the fact that he's dating a dancer?

i'm sorry this is so long... :-\

Underwhere
07-23-2005, 10:51 PM
It was his fault in the first place.
He shouldn't has asked you. That's just dumb of him.

The rest of the guys being dicks. Well, you should attribute that to it being a bachelor party and them being drunk. Bachelor parties aren't meant for men to be nice to women. It's the exact opposite...which is why your boyfriend shouldn't have asked you in the first place.

Guys are dicks during bachelor parties. That's why they have so much fun at them.

Sorry you're havin a bad night. Props to you for trying to help him out.
In his defense, he probably didn't think it through completely.

hannah83
07-23-2005, 10:53 PM
yeah i know, i've done TONS of bachelor parties, but i've never felt like that before. I've never had guys be so rude. especially since they are our friends! You'd think they would be nice...

my boyfriend has been apologizing ever since we got in the car to come home. (which took longer than expected b/c someone threw my keys into the grass ::mutters:: immature assholes.)

Mia M
07-23-2005, 10:57 PM
Ewww, gross! I can't believe your bf wanted you to get naked for his friends... in a mosquito filled barn no less! What the hell was he doing when the jackass started calling you a bitch? I apologize if this sounds harsh but dump the bf. You deserve someone who's smarter than that...

BTW, this is another case of you get what you pay for.

EffeZX
07-23-2005, 10:58 PM
Maybe this is none of my buisiness, but this so-called BF, is actually no BF.

This is my opinion.

Sparkell
07-23-2005, 11:02 PM
>:(
Maybe this is none of my buisiness, but this so-called BF, is actually no BF.

This is my opinion.


Exactly...what a jerk!

leebay88
07-23-2005, 11:02 PM
Yep...they were holding it in a barn. With florescent lights and cement floors, and a TON of mosquitos. :-\

I'd smack the shit outta my best man if he held my backelor party in a barn. >:(

Sounds like a really weird situation. Terrible planning. It's not that hard to get strippers to dance at a bachelor party.

Paris
07-23-2005, 11:13 PM
1. Your boyfriend should have left the party with you when the guys started getting rude to you for not dancing. How would the bachelor like it if another guest started insulting his finance loudly and publicly.
2. You were right to not dance for them. I understand that you wanted to help out and all, but everyone should have respected your decision to change your mind as you were a party guest, not a hired entertainer.
3. The guys should have to wallow in their own penny pinching misery. There is a good reason why they were able to locate a dancer at 1/4th of the going rate. It wasn't your fault that they just figured that last month's centerfold was on special just for their party.

You are outed now, and you can't put that genie back in the bottle. I'm sorry it was so bad for you, but short of moving again, you are going to be known as "the stripper girl" in this circle of friends. I'm sending big hugs and good vibes in your direction :grouphug: :hug: :goodvibes :goodvibes :goodvibes

Mia M
07-23-2005, 11:17 PM
I'd smack the shit outta my best man if he held my backelor party in a barn. >:(



LMAO!!! Don't forget about the discount stripper!

standupguy
07-24-2005, 12:31 AM
I would never do this. How come nice guys never get the girls?

MrChristopher
07-24-2005, 02:15 AM
First of all, I admire you for trying to "help out". However, I have to say I find it a bit naive to think that inane drunken bachelor party fuckheads (in a BARN, no less) wouldn't be rude to you. And also, fuck your BF. Seriously. Mainly for asking you to dance for his friends in the first place, and secondly for not kicking the obnoxious "why is the bitch still here" guys teeth down his throat immediately. Are you wrong for being offended? Not at all. I'm sorry for the position you are in now, as it sounds like a small-town type of thing. I reccomend having a hardcore discussion with your man, posthaste. If he doesn't understand why you're upset, then perhaps you need to rethink a few things. (I apologize if I sound overtly negative, it's not intended. Best of luck to you.)

Bridgette
07-24-2005, 04:55 AM
I would drop that pathetic excuse for a boyfriend like yesterday's dirty panties, for all the reasons everyone has already posted. He shouldn't have asked you to dance at the party, he should've defended you and LEFT with you when the asshole insulted you, and he should've known better than to let the other guy bring some unknown girl(s) for half the price. All these things prove he's a dipshit who doesn't deserve you. So what if he's been apologizing? If he couldn't do better than that now, he won't be worth the hassle in future.

I agree you're outed and nothing you can do about it. Since this is apparently a small town you'll most likely be outed all over town in short order. Incidences like this have a way of spreading through small towns like wildfire. I'm very sorry sweetie!

:hug: for you

krchab99
07-24-2005, 07:05 AM
Just becuse it was a bacholoer party is very very far from and exuse to treat you badly. Futher more you never have get anywhere if you don't want to. Don't feel bad about n ot wanting to dance. I think these men should be ashamed of themselvs and send you and apolgy letter. (yes i realize they will never send a letter but that is the right thing to do.) but thats just my opione

Mr Hyde
07-24-2005, 07:25 AM
1-Dump the boyfriend

the end

hannah83
07-24-2005, 07:35 AM
k well as for the boyfriend, we've been together for almost 2 years and that was the first time he ever messed up badly. Not going to make excuses for him b/c i'm still upset at him but keep in mind that he was drunk. I haven't seen him that drunk in a long time. That and he is deaf in one ear so it's hard for him to hear when he's talking to someone. When i got in the car to drive him home, I told him about what that guy said and he was really pissed and wanted to know why i didn't tell him about it.

This morning he's been tiptoeing around me, i think he knows that i'm still very upset.

it would be nice to get a letter/call from them apologizing, but that won't happen. And yes, you were right, I was naive for thinking that they wouldn't be rude b/c they were my friends. I won't make that mistake again.

Polekitten
07-24-2005, 07:44 AM
Dump him, dump him, dump him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You are too good for him. No woman should ever be made to feel scared, insecure or "a piece of meat" as you did that night, esp when her supposed boyfriend is sitting right next to her. Sounds like he wants you for a trophy and nothing else, why else would he ask you to parade around infront or his friends in next to nothing? I say dump him, then spread rumours round town that hes a cross dresser! Seriously though, Im so sorry you were put in that situation. Move onward and upward, x

hannah83
07-24-2005, 07:52 AM
lol polekitten, the thought did cross my mind. but i don't really want to break up with him. Yes, what he did was wrong but i think he knows that. He gave me a 2nd chance when i messed up a year ago...i think it's only fair i do the same.

the cross dresser rumor is very tempting though.

cinammonkisses
07-24-2005, 08:38 AM
Ok, what I don't get is why would you even THINK that dancing in front of your dude's friends would work? /:O Something like that, I woulnd't have even considered.


So i stay but kept getting rude comments from this guy. Keeps yelling things like "Where are the strippers???" and he came up to me and said "well you obviously failed at taking your clothes off, why are you still here?" And if that didn't hurt, he would say loudly "why's the bitch still here?"


See with the above quote, I would have to dump my b/f. I'm sorry but that was a major b$%#@ move. He is sitting around and letting this guy disrespect you like that. No offense but, Is your dude a punk, or does he not really consider you as being his girl? I could never imagine a dude that cares about me, not stand up for me. ESPECIALLY when a dude is carrying on, AND calling me a BITCH!! Yea right.

Edit: Ok, just read that you 2 have been together for 2yrs. A lil FYI Hannah...F#@% 2YRS OK?! Two years is not anything. Especially when knowing that you have a man who won't even stand up for you! It's all about R-E-S-P-E-C-T and right about now, you dont have any!

amylynnej
07-24-2005, 09:10 AM
dump him.

cassidykarma
07-24-2005, 09:39 AM
Well, everyone seems to be telling you to get rid of him. I know you may not think it's that simple and are bargaining with yourself and trying to justify it by saying it was a one time thing etc...but if you look back to these last two years...certainly you must be able to think of other times where he just had a blatant disrespect for you and your feelings? Things like this don't just happen after two years...this is horrible...nothing less.

I am so sorry (I think a lot of us have had bfs like this)

Pamela
07-24-2005, 09:58 AM
I can see backing out of dancing for his friends. It's too strange.

BUT, i can't see his friends throwing disrespect at you....Especially in front of him, their friend. It would have been nice if he said "cool it guys, this is my woman!" Or something along those lines.

Man..i would be mad as hell. Dumping him? I don't know. But you need to have a talk with him about the lack or respect that seemed to be going around that night towards you first.

Then fuck (you know FORGET ) his lame ass sorry ass friends. I think they owe you an apology!!!! All of them.

Pamela

CuriousJ
07-24-2005, 10:04 AM
First of all, I admire you for trying to "help out". However, I have to say I find it a bit naive to think that inane drunken bachelor party fuckheads (in a BARN, no less) wouldn't be rude to you. And also, fuck your BF. Seriously. Mainly for asking you to dance for his friends in the first place, and secondly for not kicking the obnoxious "why is the bitch still here" guys teeth down his throat immediately. Are you wrong for being offended? Not at all. I'm sorry for the position you are in now, as it sounds like a small-town type of thing. I reccomend having a hardcore discussion with your man, posthaste. If he doesn't understand why you're upset, then perhaps you need to rethink a few things. (I apologize if I sound overtly negative, it's not intended. Best of luck to you.)
Yes exactly I would of kicked that guys ass for saying shit like that the people couldnt of been good friends because they did not respect you for what you did I mean whooping it up is cool but the cruel remarks are uncalled for ! When I read the story I knew the results were going to be bad when you decided to step in - good intentions but a bad choice . I guess its like a bf hanging in a strip club it just in most cases doesnt work ! But your heart was in it and for that I give you cudos ..

cinammonkisses
07-24-2005, 10:07 AM
Then fuck (you know FORGET ) his lame ass sorry ass friends. I think they owe you an apology!!!! All of them.

Pamela

Ok, I vote to be the first to Issue Pamela a warning for her post ;) Just kidding lady :hug:

**scarlet**
07-24-2005, 10:25 AM
ive been a dancer for 10 years. and in that time ive had 2 bf. these blokes were carefully chosen because of their views on dancers. they didnt want me to get naked infront of other men but the knew if they told me what to do i would do i would show them the door. they loved me and respected me as my own person.for him to even like the fact that you are a dancer seams to me a little strange, but to suggest you take your clothes off for his friends just makes me sick.

it looks to me you are but a symbol on his arm. let me guess,he pumps alot of iron and drives a suped up car and as he drives by he shouts out the window "hay guys check out my stripper girlfriend"

strange how men always go deaf when they lack respect for a woman. u dont need us to tell you what to do,you know what to do!

Mr Hyde
07-24-2005, 10:32 AM
like cinnamon said, why would you think that dancing for his friends would be a good idea? Guys want to be turned on by a stripper and enjoy at least the fantasy that she might want them. With you, unless you have an open relationship and they all know it, that fantasy is not possible. It'd be like loaning your mom to someone for a day so they have some one to mother them.

Honestly, you sound like you're making excuses for him. I'd seriously reconsider your relationship in light of this. Unless you are in an open relationship, his asking you to dance for his friends is...weird...I could see maybe one friend while you're all three drunk, but a group of guys at a bachelor party? That's f-ed up.

Bridgette
07-24-2005, 10:40 AM
Even IF he didn't hear the friends disrespecting you (LOUDLY calling you a BITCH even), no decent boyfriend would ask his gf to strip for his friends. NOPE. NEVER. He's a piece of shit. I don't care if he gave you another chance on something last year or if you've been with him 20 years, that is a clear indication he has no respect for you.

Furthermore, I find it highly suspicious that of all the loud and blatant disrespecting his friends did to you, he didn't hear any of it. BULLFUCKINGSHIT!!!

I agree with cassidykarma, I bet anything if you look back at the 2yrs there are plenty of other times he's acted less than respectful. This very well may be the worst offense but IMO a definite sign of things to come.

I know you think 2yrs is a long time (you're 20-something right?) and alot of investment in this guy to just dump him. But seriously, it's the best thing you can do for yourself. To quote a friend of mine

DUMP THE MUTHERFUCKER

Krazyjane
07-24-2005, 10:43 AM
This is precisely why I never wanted bfs to come to the club or see me dance, ever. Men can either know me in the club or as a friend, not both.

I think that your BF has shown his true colors. It's funny how most guys claim, "I'm not like other guys. I could never disrespect women like that," but get a few beers in him and see the results.

I had the same problem with my male friends seeing me. I danced in a college town, so word got around. The first thing that most of them would ask was, "Hey, you're gonna have to give me a free lapdance/free doorpasses to see you\show up as a feature for my birthday party." I lost a lot of friends who failed that little test. Unless he was an iron will and a heart of gold, guys are gonna lose respect for you when they discover that you are spread a little bit thinner than most girls for whom they have to put up a facade for.

BigGreenMnM
07-24-2005, 10:44 AM
OMG!!!!!!!
Your so lucky!!!!!!

A moment of Truth!!!!
Clarity!!!!!!
bottom line!!!!!!

No more time wasted.

Its just my opinion,but this wont be the man you grow old with.

But you knew that driving over,you just needed to see the proof when ya got there.

I sure hope you saw it.

Congrats.

Paris
07-24-2005, 10:50 AM
I wouldn't nessessarily dump him because of this situation. My husband has been really drunk and humilating to be around, and instead of just "dumping him" I insist that he control his drinking in public. I'm okay if he wants to go an a bender every now and again (like at a bachelor party), but I'm not going to hang out with him while he is pounding beers.

Of course we are married and that is a much more serious commitment then simply bf/gf relationship. But these things would happen before we were engaged. I have also made some judgement mistakes.

I think all of us who indulge in alcohol, even if only ocassionally, have the day after reality check.

(making out with that stranger seemed like just harmless fun, hubby was PISSED!!)

BigGreenMnM
07-24-2005, 10:51 AM
yeah i know, i've done TONS of bachelor parties, but i've never felt like that before. I've never had guys be so rude. especially since they are our friends! You'd think they would be nice...

IMO they were not "our"friends,they were his.

You will see exactly how many,if not all,wont remain in your life(except as high paying customers)after you give this "boyfriend"his walking papers.


my boyfriend has been apologizing ever since we got in the car to come home. (which took longer than expected b/c someone threw my keys into the grass ::mutters:: immature assholes.)
On his knees,in front of everyone there,and its still not good enough imo.

cassidykarma
07-24-2005, 10:59 AM
no decent boyfriend would ask his gf to strip for his friends. NOPE. NEVER. He's a piece of shit. I don't care if he gave you another chance on something last year or if you've been with him 20 years, that is a clear indication he has no respect for you

Ta Da!

The magic words.

Crissychan
07-24-2005, 11:34 AM
Did he say anything while they were saying those awful things to you??

If he didn't then, he never will....

fl1rtyg1rl
07-24-2005, 11:55 AM
I've only done a handful of private parties, but I know that I was pretty scared at every one of them. I don't know if I'm just a little more paranoid than most people, but there was always that "dangerous" element that I felt was there, even if I had "protection".

I couldn't even imagine doing one if front of people I knew, much less with my boyfriend there!

I think you did the right thing in stopping, I'm surprised u were able to get up and do it in the first place.

But, i guess like you, i would give my bf the benefit of the doubt if thats the only "major screwup" in 2 years. Especially since u said he seemed mad when u told him what people said. You'll know for sure if he was really mad if he goes to his friends and says something.

TigersMilk
07-24-2005, 12:12 PM
Not going to make excuses for him b/c i'm still upset at him but keep in mind that he was drunk.

Please please please DONT make that excuse for him EVER again...or youll be using it like it was a natural thing. Drunk or sober I dont care he should have never have asked you to dance for his friends. If he has ANY kind of respect for you he would not have asked you. He may be nice and you have been together for 2 years but that is also no excuse for the way he let you get treated that night. No f*ing way is that ever cool.

Like an animal (needs to be taught) he needs to no he should never ask anything like that of you again. I mean c'mon in front of his friends? No bf would want his friends to see his gf naked.

Just want you to happy, safe and sane.

BigGreenMnM
07-24-2005, 12:37 PM
Please please please DONT make that excuse for him EVER again...or youll be using it like it was a natural thing. Drunk or sober I dont care he should have never have asked you to dance for his friends. If he has ANY kind of respect for you he would not have asked you. He may be nice and you have been together for 2 years but that is also no excuse for the way he let you get treated that night. No f*ing way is that ever cool.

that....

with this.....

He gave me a 2nd chance when i messed up a year ago...i think it's only fair i do the same.

and the amount of times he said......
"me so sowweey"

I see at least another year,with a possible two.




Just want you to happy, safe and sane.
take it for what its worth from someone who either starred as the leading role,or has seen that movie many times and knows the ending by heart,or broken heart,you choose.

TnT
07-24-2005, 12:42 PM
First let me say I'm sorry you had to go through such a yucky situation.

And the guy who was so rude to you, well he's no friend to either you or your boyfriend.

Also drunk is not an excuse for behavior. Drunk may bring it to the surface but it's in a person to begin with so- now you know what these guys are made of ....

Mastridonicus
07-24-2005, 01:48 PM
A relelvent story, A neighbor was married to this dancer girl, she worked at this piece of shit club that is the worst type of club period. Dancers only get 5 dollars per dance, house keeps 15 so they forced into extras. Anyways, this kids friends would all go see her and try to coax her into giving extras to them...

barf.

My opinion, is that you should look at your profession like a doctor or a lawyer, never practice for people you are close too. You NEVER come out 100% there are always draw backs. These are the people that should love you because you're x's gf, not because you're a dancer.

Kick em in da nutz and go home. I agree with Bridg. He's a piece of shit.

grinew127
07-24-2005, 02:58 PM
Well, who can argue with all these people? I hope you are now convinced.

Underwhere
07-24-2005, 03:29 PM
don't dump him. He made a stupid mistake.
His friend's bachelors party was gonna be ruined and he got desperate.
If he's tiptoeing around you, it means he's sorry. If he blew it off and doesn't care...then dump him.

Shit goes wrong in relationships. That's a given. Whether or not people are remorseful shows whether they care.

amylynnej
07-24-2005, 03:31 PM
dump him. take him out like last weeks garbage. cant trust him.

LoveSexMoney
07-24-2005, 03:40 PM
well, look at the bright side of things. Can you imagine how bad things would be for you if you HAD stripped down for all of those wankers?

hannah83
07-24-2005, 04:14 PM
lol lovesexmoney, i'm so happy that i didn't strip for them. b/c i know they'd have been bigger asses than they already were. Mast you're right, i should never dance for those i know, and i've definately learned that lesson. And while you all point out VERY good reasons as to why i should dump his sorry ass, i honestly don't think i will. We've gone through alot these past 2 years, and I'm just not willing to throw it all away because of a stupid incident. I just wanted to know that i wasn't wrong for changing my mind @ the last minute.

Mastridonicus
07-24-2005, 04:15 PM
Hey, I can respect that.

People stay with their SO after abuse or cheating. It could be far worse. In this realm, its still about what you want.

Granted I don't agree with him, it doesn't make him a bad SO. We all make bad decisions.

nadia69
07-24-2005, 04:16 PM
Are you still going to be friends with them??!!

Phil-W
07-24-2005, 04:29 PM
One of those situations that everyone in retrospect knows shouldn't have happened.

(1) You live in a small town, and you just outed youself as a dancer. I think your "normal" life went out of the window and you just became the "stripper". Sorry, but most men beome ar*eholes if they think they can meet/know a "stripper". Expect a load of stupid questions.

Also expect a load of bitchy questions/comments from any women. Half will be jealous because they've not got the body you have, and the other half will look down on you because you take off your clothes for a living.

(2) Your boyfriend is a ar*ehole for telling his friends what you do. I've got several friends who are dancers - the longest relationship going back 4 years. I have never, but never, told my more conventional friends what they do for a living because of the problems in (1) above. I care too much for them to put them in a position where they might suffer disrespect from judgemental people who don't understand the realities of a dancers life.

(3) Your boyfriend is an even bigger ar*ehole for asking you to dance. Most guys are curious about what a girls got under her clothes. If you had've danced, you'd have been on the end of umpteen whispered comments and smutty remarks.

Be under no illusions, you were asked to dance cos your boyfriend's mates were getting really turned on about seeing you naked. There's an erotic charge from seeing any girl naked, but it's far greater if it's someone you know.

My thoughts.

You were not wrong in backing out. I'd fault you for going there in the first place, but at least your motives were good: help out your boyfriend by giving his mate a good bachelor party. OK bad idea, but you were trying to be helpful.

I'd also say your bf is an ar*ehole, (that word again), for not getting you out of there when things started to get ugly. Sure, he's got loyalties to his mates, but he can solve those by getting you out of there ASAP and rejoining the bachelor do later.

I'd give your boyfriend two options.

(a) You dump him;

or

(b) He moves with you to another town where you can get another fresh start as a normal girl, and not the "stripper".

Phil.

fl1rtyg1rl
07-24-2005, 04:48 PM
Hanah

Far be it from be to tell anyone what to do with their bf situation. I've made enough dumb decisions myself.

But you definitely made the right decision in backing out of the party. I think your instincts were right initially, but you decided to try and help some people out. Stick with your insticts. And don't take your clothes off (for money) in front of guys you know. It usually only leads to bad things.

hannah83
07-24-2005, 05:42 PM
no i'm not friends with those ppl anymore and if my boyfriend decides to remain friends with them, that's his business but i won't be around when they hang out. And I can't wait to move, but we bought a house a year ago so we're stuck here for another 3 years.

TnT
07-24-2005, 06:56 PM
I hope for your sake your man drops that bunch of friends.

Not only did they disrespect you, but at least that one fellow disrespected both you and your beau.

Good luck to you, hon :)

Polekitten
07-24-2005, 07:50 PM
I still say dump him but if you really feel you cant, stay with him but spread the cross dressing rumers behind his back. This might give him a taste of how it feels to have everyone whisper about you and judge you behind your back. ;)

Daze
07-25-2005, 12:20 PM
Another angle on this is you might not have gotten into this sitch if you were not so damned nice! Don't worry so much about fitting in or getting along or pleasing someone, especially at your own expense.

It seems to me you kept going back on your better judgement. Your Woman's intuition seemed right on the money on all accounts. All your first assumptions were right and you went against them. Like a curious girl in the horror movie who goes to investigate the blood dripping from her ceiling after a deathly scream; you knew it was gonna turn out bad. Right? hehe.

If somebody disses you stand up for yourself! If a situation seems bad get the fuck out. (which you did, which is cool...) I think your boyfriend would have had a better idea of what was going on if you had spoke your mind as it happened. Me, I would have went off on his friend like a rabid rapper with turets syndrome! It would have been the highlight excitement of the show believe me and I am normally a very quiet, shy girl...

It's fabulous to be kind and helpful, but I could see your willingness to help people be more useful to yourself, if you grew a bit more spine. You can't be in the business and let people walk over you. period. People will almost always take advantage of you given the chance. While you are performing or not. Know what you will do BEFORE you find yourself doing it or you will find yourself in more hurtful and dangerous perdicaments.

I was thinking dump the boyfriend at first too, but since you were so quiet about it and he's partially deaf, I thought this might be the better advice. It does sound as if he didn't know what was transpiring. Although, I think he should stay in the doghouse a little longer for a stupid idea like asking you to do it in the first place! lol.

You can't change the past, you can only change the future. So my advice would be to alter your mindset so that you don't get stuck in any situation like that again.

Take care,