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erotictonic
08-11-2005, 07:17 PM
Great news! E.T. only moderately dislikes us now instead of being completely disgusted. I can't help but feel we're making some progress. Oh, happy day! ::)

Ya' know, you don't have to be so rude when people are just professing thoughts without hurting anyone. You must have a lot of anger inside.

FBR
08-11-2005, 07:46 PM
Ya' know, you don't have to be so rude when people are just professing thoughts without hurting anyone. You must have a lot of anger inside.

ET I think ML has his defenses up because you are usually kicking his ass LOL. TBO, I like the kinder, gentler ET and I suspect over time ML may even come around in his thinking.

FBR

merely_lurking
08-11-2005, 08:03 PM
I just had another fight with my girlfriend and I'm moving all my stuff out again. Everytime this happens now, though, she threatens me that I'll never see my child or she won't give it my name, or she'll give it some ridiculous name or some bullshit. Fuck it, she keeps taking all of the joy out of the experience. It's her kid now as far as I'm concerned. I'll find somebody else to have a family with and just completely forget I used to know this crazy bitch that I mistakenly decided to have a kid with.

xdamage
08-11-2005, 08:04 PM
I'm excited about having a kid (it's a boy, were naming him Donovan), but life is really a grind for the time being.

Yea, this is can be the worst time. Nothing you don't already know of course.

Sorry to hear that she is totally wacking out on you right now man. It will probably all seem a lot different (and better) after Donovan is born, if you and she can keep it together until then (though it sounds like you're on a major down swing again with her - that sucks :( )

erotictonic
08-11-2005, 08:09 PM
I just had another fight with my girlfriend and I'm moving all my stuff out again. Everytime this happens now, though, she threatens me that I'll never see my child or she won't give it my name, or she'll give it some ridiculous name or some bullshit. Fuck it, she keeps taking all of the joy out of the experience. It's her kid now as far as I'm concerned. I'll find somebody else to have a family with and just completely forget I used to know this crazy bitch that I mistakenly decided to have a kid with.

I hate to say it, but having a baby with this chick was a bad idea. I wouldn't have kids now. And if we want to do the right thing for society, we need to have children when we are healthy.

merely_lurking
08-12-2005, 11:54 AM
The thing is, last year when she would talk about wanting kids, she would say anything to get me to go along with it. She said that since she had a trust fund and her dad is really rich, it didn't matter if I didn't feel I could afford a baby, because she could more than afford it on her own. And if we were having sex and I pulled out before I came, she would say I was treating her like a "cum receptacle". Now that she is pregnant, she is bitching at me all the time to give her every dime I have, is always whining about how she needs love and affection, to hold her and be with her all the time, but now the sex is terrible and infrequent, and she is always complaining about me, that I don't do enough for her and the baby. I'm trying figure out what exactly I'm supposed to get out of this deal. I have absolutely no free time to myself and when I finally can't take it anymore and have to get away for a little bit and turn my cell phone off for a couple of hours, she freaks out and accuses me of cheating on her and goes into the directory of my cell phone with a fine tooth comb and asks me for the 20th time who every single person is in there, I have about 80 different phone numbers in it. It just sucks, and she needs professional help. We were seeing a relationship counselor twice a week which I was paying for, until he said there was nothing more he could do to help us. She's wonderful when she can act like a normal person and consider my feelings and make compromises, but that is only every so often. I'm running out of patience.

xdamage
08-12-2005, 12:38 PM
Now that she is pregnant, she is bitching at me all the time to give her every dime I have, is always whining about how she needs love and affection, to hold her and be with her all the time, but now the sex is terrible and infrequent, and she is always complaining about me, that I don't do enough for her and the baby. I'm trying figure out what exactly I'm supposed to get out of this deal. I have absolutely no free time to myself and when I finally can't take it anymore and have to get away for a little bit and turn my cell phone off for a couple of hours, she freaks out and accuses me of cheating on her and goes into the directory of my cell phone with a fine tooth comb and asks me for the 20th time who every single person is in there


Sucks to hear that man.

If she is borderline (keeping in mind I dont know if she is) then unfortunately you may get little or nothing out of it other then some occassional moments here and there when you get see a particular side of her personality that real women don't behave like (mostly because they are normal and have much more moderate personalities). The rest of the time she is probably going to be very needy, very testy (tests you will always eventually fail, if not immediately, then later when she reapplies the tests until you do fail, proving to her that nobody really loves her as much as she loves herself).

If she is borderline you will probably find it difficult to get any alone time (btw, that needy personality trait can really butter up a guys ego until later when your ego has been well bolstered and then it gets old, then later still it becomes downright oppressive). For the borderline, deep seated fears-of-abandonment will result in her behaving irrationally as she imagines the worst possible things when infact all you want and need is your basic human right to be yourself independent of her. But the borderline (in many ways) has the emotional makeup of a small child. They really don't understand your need to be alone any more than a small child understands his/her parents needs to be alone. Small children are infact incredibly self-centered emotionally, oblivious to the fact that their demands can drain others emotionally and physically. But she is an emotional child in an adults body, so when she throws a temper tantrum (because she is not getting her way) it is a lot more severe and dangerous.

So now to get to the point. If she is borderline, she will (almost as sure as the sun will rise tomorrow) fuck up her children emotionally. Borderline people make poor parents. While they can seem terribly nurturing when the children are young, as the children grow and reach ages where they should become independent, the borderline turns into a terrible parent. It's poisonous how they infect their children with their screwed up ideas and emotional needs. So here is what it comes down to. Are you going to abandon your son to be raised by a wack job? Or are you going to be there for him to provide him some balance, some degree of normalacy?

I said if, I don't know if she is borderline, but if she is then your son needs at least one normal(ish) parent to help balance out the crap and emotional guilt trips she is going to lay on your child over the coming years.

polecat
08-12-2005, 01:02 PM
Hi ML,
I seriously doubt she's a borderline as the behaviors you've described are incompatible with the disorder... that is, unless she's actually married, it's not your kid and you are some side fling. Borderlines have an intimacy button, so the sex/heat in the relationship would have been sucked dry about the point when she got pregnant (or 2nd/3rd month) if she were keeping in the tradition of the disorder.

More than likely, and from everything you have described here, she sounds more like a bipolar which, lucky for you, can be GREATLY stabelized with meds and light/cheaper therapy (or in many cases just 2-3 month cheaper pdoc appts. to refill prescriptions). Also lucky for you, a medicated bilpolar can make an excellent mom or parent figure, so that's something. It'll help pull her ups and downs towards the middle since bipolar is a very biochemical disorder beyond her control.

Good for you for being faithful and sticking it out. As there is a new life in the picture, you're going to have to lay down the law and put conditions on this whole thing with a hard-set comittment (with ramifications) if she doesn't agree to a pdoc appt. after the child is born to get on a meds regimen and take them religiously. Im sure in her down-swings, you can insert the importance of this. In her up-swings, your best bet is to detach (assert calmly you are leaving for a while and go) until it's over as it's lose-lose there.

threlayer
08-12-2005, 01:07 PM
(the doctor is IN)

"It just sucks, and she needs professional help. We were seeing a relationship counselor twice a week which I was paying for, until he said there was nothing more he could do to help us."

I think she needs something closer to major therapy. If she has money in her name she should pay for it. You will need conjoint therapy with her occasionally. Biggest problem I see is that she will say she doesn't need anything and it's all your fault. Maybe this is where close friends of hers can help, getting her to see that she ismaking herself miserable and getting better means doing some hard work.

Sex is not your major issue here. It is just your issue of the moment.

(the doctor is OUT)

xdamage
08-12-2005, 01:11 PM
Hi ML,
I seriously doubt she's a borderline as the behaviors you've described are incompatible with the disorder... that is, unless she's actually married, it's not your kid and you are some side fling. Borderlines have an intimacy button, so the sex/heat in the relationship would have been sucked dry about the point when she got pregnant (or 2nd/3rd month) if she were keeping in the tradition of the disorder.


Ill have to take your word on that (re the 2/3 month intimacy decline behavior), but I do agree he'd be better off if she is bipolar. That at least is a biological problem and very treatable.

Personality disorders are often intertwined with biological problems, but they are more difficult to treat because fundamentally it is not a physiological disorder - its really more a set of self-reinforcing beliefs that are incredibly difficult to crack. Each belief reinforces another belief, so that while it all makes complete sense to the one with the personality disorder, they are unable to see things as the rest of us see them. Very difficult to fix, if the person with a personality disorder ever even comes to realize they have a problem (usually they don't unless they are lucky enough to have a lot of people beat them over their head with it and force them to face that they need help, or they reach a point of rock bottom and realize it themselves).

In the end though the one who will suffer the most is the child. And in the end what you do for your son will define you and the mark you leave on the world. Maybe you cant fix the relationship but you can still do what you need to do for your boy.

polecat
08-12-2005, 03:17 PM
Ill have to take your word on that (re the 2/3 month intimacy decline behavior), but I do agree he'd be better off if she is bipolar. That at least is a biological problem and very treatable.

Personality disorders are often intertwined with biological problems, but they are more difficult to treat because fundamentally it is not a physiological disorder - its really more a set of self-reinforcing beliefs that are incredibly difficult to crack.
Absolutely.. and as an interesting designation between personality disorders, bipolar and complex PTSD variants...

Borderline, in a nutshell, can mainly be a psychological condition, whereas some biochemical patterns can make a more likely target of becoming borderline, is almost always instigated or enabled by environment. This is why it's so hard to deal with as there is no magic pill that can un-borderline a borderline. Their moods and behaviors are psychologically based and ingrained. Bad, non-disciplinary, or abusive parenting, most often is the cause.

As an ex-bouncer and been all over, I've had exposure and experience with a number of borderlines... most all female but a couple males- they are drastically different. One of my best friends was in an LTR with one, and another was in a 1-year LTR and 4-month marriage with another. I've known several dozen others and their behavoral patterns are almost like clockwork. Females are more commonly able to 'skate' through life as borderline than males as the gender has more options to enable the disorder. In general, they exist as far detached from reality as possible, under almost total control of impulses, unable to relate/behave at an adult level, and live in a self-absorbed trap of feeding their own wants/needs at any cost. The latter being why they are often categorized as Cluster "B" anti-socials, when they are truly not evil or related. It's just a child-like, unruly and undisciplined nature and no understanding of the impact of their behaviors on others because of it.

A lot of borderline females find their way into stripclubs, mainly because it's an environment that totally enables and rewards their behavior. Many lower/middle end clubs lack discipline with schedule, they are allowed to feed their impulses (be drunk/stoned) and basically be bratty and controlling while getting paid for it. Also, because they are usually so far detached from reality in their natural state, they often lack boundries which makes them favorable to more seedy stripclub patrons (i.e. the gal always doing unprotected sex in VIP and drunk is more than likely a borderline).

Due to the reality detachment and child-like emotionally primitive state, they have great fears of abandonment and intimacy. This is why my stipulation about ML's girlfriend would only make sense if he were a side-fling and not her primary relationship. Once the intimacy/abandonment button is hit inside a 'serious' relationship, borderlines usually start to distance, which creates a supply vacuum, which is often fed with promiscuity (i.e. the fear makes them start feeding impulses, sometimes sexual, with others to temporarily soothe the scary, primary, more serious relationship). Like a child confused, they are running to the candy store for more candy when things at home are pressing fear buttons. Borderline rages are basically adult versions of child-like tantrums, when the borderline isn't able to get what they want. They wish to exist much like a 9-year old, always have their cake and eat it too, and rage/tantrum when things don't go this way. They have become ingrained that fixing a problem isn't an option, but instead it's much better to just ignore the problem and go "have fun!" around it. "Fun" is also sometimes depression for them as it's a coping mechanism to again push emphasis off reality. Again, more signs of failure to relate at an adult level.

Recovery is very, very tough for a borderline. As they are intellectually an adult, once they start getting their head over water and start actually grasping at reality, they have years of questionable behavior to feel guilty about or stew over. Their disorder is compatible with this process so they can remain locked in this partial awareness of reality for years and years until they can adapt radical acceptance and create a definate and abrupt 'change' concept. They have to let go of the 'old' unreality person and become someone new (establish their new, adult-relating, accountable identity), else they will remain in a partial-reality state (and historical wrangling supply form) for years and years.

Anyways, that's why I stated ML's gf is most likely NOT a borderline, and while it's possible (as borderline can also be combined with a plethora of other conditions), it's unlikely as the relationship is still sexual and 'heated' to some degree now that 'seriousness' of being a mother/wife has entered the picture. These are like 99% of the time the conditions that cause a borderline female to start distancing and looking for other outlets to feed the impulses.

This is good news for ML since her VERY bi-polar like behavior can likely be very, very regulated by simple med-therapies... and her ability to carry on a motherly role is much, much more favorable as a result.

Sorry for the novela, but as this is a Stripclub patrons website- I feel it's important some folks here can recognize them in the stripclubs. If I had it my way, sex with a borderline stripper would fall under statutory rape clauses as they are emotionally children and really NOT accountable for their own behaviors. Down the road, when/if they make a shot at recovery, such past debauchery accessorized by their sordid past makes the process more difficult to bear. While it may appear to be consentual, adult sex in these forms, it's truly NOT.. it's a form of victimization as the victim is not working with a full deck of reality, and therefore very easy prey. It is like talking a 7-year old into sex, which is why their lack of boundries makes them favored targets.

merely_lurking
08-13-2005, 06:33 PM
I don't think she's bipolar because she doesn't really have manic episodes. She's been diagnosed as schizophrenic before, but that was when she was coming down off of heavy amphetamine use and was really out of it, many years before I met her. She's been on antipsychotic drugs before, and she said they helped her. However, she is in recovery now and refuses to take any sort of psychoactive drug, even prescription ones.

SportsWriter2
08-13-2005, 08:40 PM
If I had it my way, sex with a borderline stripper would fall under statutory rape clauses as they are emotionally children and really NOT accountable for their own behaviors. Down the road, when/if they make a shot at recovery, such past debauchery accessorized by their sordid past makes the process more difficult to bear. While it may appear to be consentual, adult sex in these forms, it's truly NOT.. it's a form of victimization as the victim is not working with a full deck of reality, and therefore very easy prey.

Yeah, but that's who they are, and it doesn't change much until they're 30-something. Once you're 12-18 in the various states, the law gives you a right to have sex.

BPD's aren't equally messed up. I've seen mild BPD cases who have an intellectual understanding of their problem and impose limits on themselves. So you have an adult dimension watching over the child.

MinahSky
08-13-2005, 11:13 PM
All I can say now is that your child does NOT deserve this. He/she has done nothing wrong and did not ask to be born. And if she is as off her rocker as she sounds, then you should have sole custody of the child until she is stabile and can put the child's needs first. It will be YOU in 18 years that the child comes to and asks why you were not there and left him/her with that crazy woman (not to mention with a head full of BS from her). You are an adult, and you have many choices that do not include leaving a child to exist in craziness with her alone. She is almost ready to give birth, I would get my ducks in a row if I were you.

erotictonic
08-14-2005, 02:09 AM
Yeah, but that's who they are, and it doesn't change much until they're 30-something. Once you're 12-18 in the various states, the law gives you a right to have sex.



It's still true. Just because you have the Right to have sex doesn't mean you are in the right state of mind to take care of yourself.

xdamage
08-15-2005, 11:59 AM
Sorry for the novela, but as this is a Stripclub patrons website- I feel it's important some folks here can recognize them in the stripclubs. If I had it my way, sex with a borderline stripper would fall under statutory rape clauses as they are emotionally children and really NOT accountable for their own behaviors.


I realize you were speaking hypothetically. Unfortunately it often takes many years to diagnose someone with BPD because an objective diagnosis really requires demonstrating a pattern of unstable relationships over many years, going back to early adulthood. Plus meeting several other criteria (such as splitting, intense fear of abandonment, and other key behaviors/patterns-of-thought that have to manifest themselves intensly over long periods of time). Bottom line is that by the time they are diagnosed, they've probably already been dancing for many years and been through many unstable relationships.



While it may appear to be consentual, adult sex in these forms, it's truly NOT.. it's a form of victimization as the victim is not working with a full deck of reality, and therefore very easy prey. It is like talking a 7-year old into sex, which is why their lack of boundries makes them favored targets.

Unfortunately many people with BPD are quite adept at handling the opening moves of a relationship. Like someone who can handle the first few moves of a game chess because they have observed and practiced it so many times, but they really don't understand the game, and they can't hold their own later in the game. People with BPD often appear to be quite normal at the start of a relationship. You may recognize the signs but the average person does not. The average guy may not even be aware that people can suffer from personality disorders, let alone understand the specifics of BPD. Not until later until the relationship starts to change, and they begin to start wondering if they are nuts. There is really good book called "Stop Walking on Enggshells" which nicely describes most peoples experiences with a BPD partner. Things start out fine, often really great, and then go through big up and down swings as the as the relationship moves past the opening move stages.

Point? They are victimized but not necessarily intentionally. That is to say, their partner often doesn't necessarily realize they are dealing with someone who has a personality disorder until some time later. What can really throw their partner is that sometimes the person with BPD can seem wonderful, almost too good to be true, then the next moment and without good reason, the person with BPD can go into a rage (hence the title of the book, walking on eggshells), and then a little later, act as if nothing happened. This can leave the partner really confused and torn about how they feel. Many people with BPD do seem to be hyper aware of some aspects of other peoples feelings and can maintain a relationship for a long time by using guilt, and emotional manipulation to keep the other person from leaving them. Mix in sex, possibly good sex, lack of experience, and the partners are often as confused about whats going on as the person with BPD.

I half agree with your statement that people with BPD are not accountable. Unfortunately for the person with BPD, that's also one of their key personality problems too. The don't accept accountability except in a very selective way. When things go right, you will find people with BPD accept accountability and take credit; its when things don't go right that they don't take responsibility and attribute it to others. That allows them to maintain a nice, simple, all good picture of themselves. In the same way that they split others into all good or all bad bins, they bin up their own self into all good parts that they take accountability for, and the all bad parts that are (invariably) outside of their control, caused by others, caused by drugs, caused by society, caused by circumstances beyond their control, and so on.

merely_lurking
08-15-2005, 02:04 PM
I'm glad to see that we are all such experts on the subject of crazy bitches... :)

cpeters1
08-19-2005, 11:24 AM
She gets violent and throws shit at me, breaks things and punches me. It is difficult to restrain her, because she gets really out of control. ...

Damn you are screwed no matter how you look at it. Society is so fucked up. If you hit her once, you'd be in jail so fast, you'd loose all custody rights, and pay child support, assuming the child is yours. However, she can fuck with you, hit you you all she wants and you are expected to take it in stride and "be a man." Fuck that. You need to run like hell as fast as you can.

You got played bad. Have you seen the documentation for the alleged trust fund, or ever had rich daddy give the happy couple something you needed. A relationship based on untruths is nothing. If she hits you and is violent now, she might do the same to your kid.

As I see it, you either get out of dodge, or you stay to protect the child. If she ever raises a hand to the kid, you and the kid leave immediately, call the police, and hopefully you have a sympathic family member to stay with. Don't start fucking around on her, cause that will get you no where when it comes time for the custody battle. She need medical help asap, if she won't agree to it, then run like hell, take the kid with you. As a minimum never let the kid see you fight, it is very unhealthy for a child to witness that behavior.

Good luck and I am sorry to hear of this.

lucy801
08-19-2005, 09:51 PM
I'm glad to see that we are all such experts on the subject of crazy bitches... :)

You said it, buddy. No shit.

erotictonic
08-20-2005, 04:34 AM
You said it, buddy. No shit.

Yea, psychology is just something for stupid people to think about.... crazy fucking bitches. ::)

merely_lurking
08-21-2005, 06:47 PM
****CRAZY BITCH UPDATE****

Okay, we had that big fight last week, because I was really tired from working all day and didn't want to go to her routine doctor's appointment at 8:30 in the morning in which I would be doing nothing but sitting in the waiting room for about 3 hours on my only day off during the week. Now she changed the locks on our duplex, which lease is in her name, will not return my calls, and won't even let me come over to get my stuff. I called the sheriff's department to try to talk to her and ask her to get my stuff. They rang the doorbell one time, then they put cuffs on me and put me in the back of their car for about 20 minutes while they checked my criminal background and see if I had any warrants. After getting all of that cleared, they said there was nothing they could do for me and told me to leave. I got fired from my sales job the previous day because I was in a foul mood and used the f-word in front of a customer that was being a real ass. She won't answer any of my calls or e-mails, wanting at least an explanation, or to say that she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore or anything. I called a friend of hers to ask her if she would talk to her for me, and she just said she was mad at me and didn't want to talk to me. I wish I still had my job to concentrate on, because I have nothing to do then obsess about this crap. She has my T.V., stereo, a couple of my guitars and other musical equipment, about half of my clothes, and a whole bunch of other stuff of mine. She's never just completely ignored me like this before, and it's driving me crazy. I just want to get my stuff back. I could try to break in, but I think she might be waiting for me to do something like to give her ammunition to deny me custody when our child is born. This whole thing sucks. Never get a whacked out, psycho, former hardcore drug user pregnant, gentlemen, that's all I've got to say. Maybe that should go without saying, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt if they say they have changed their ways. I think I'm going to change my mood indicator from mischivious to sad for awhile.... :( :( :( :(

erotictonic
08-21-2005, 06:53 PM
****CRAZY BITCH UPDATE****

Okay, we had that big fight last week, because I was really tired from working all day and didn't want to go to her routine doctor's appointment at 8:30 in the morning in which I would be doing nothing but sitting in the waiting room for about 3 hours on my only day off during the week. Now she changed the locks on our duplex, which lease is in her name, will not return my calls, and won't even let me come over to get my stuff. I called the sheriff's department to try to talk to her and ask her to get my stuff. They rang the doorbell one time, then they put cuffs on me and put me in the back of their car for about 20 minutes while they checked my criminal background and see if I had any warrants. After getting all of that cleared, they said there was nothing they could do for me and told me to leave. I got fired from my sales job the previous day because I was in a foul mood and used the f-word in front of a customer that was being a real ass. She won't answer any of my calls or e-mails, wanting at least an explanation, or to say that she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore or anything. I called a friend of hers to ask her if she would talk to her for me, and she just said she was mad at me and didn't want to talk to me. I wish I still had my job to concentrate on, because I have nothing to do then obsess about this crap. She has my T.V., stereo, a couple of my guitars and other musical equipment, about half of my clothes, and a whole bunch of other stuff of mine. She's never just completely ignored me like this before, and it's driving me crazy. I just want to get my stuff back. I could try to break in, but I think she might be waiting for me to do something like to give her ammunition to deny me custody when our child is born. This whole thing sucks. Never get a whacked out, psycho, former hardcore drug user pregnant, gentlemen, that's all I've got to say. Maybe that should go without saying, but I like to give people the benefit of the doubt if they say they have changed their ways. I think I'm going to change my mood indicator from mischivious to sad for awhile.... :( :( :( :(

Dude, you should've gotten up and taken her to the doctor. I don't care if it's your day off... it's your kid and you need to take care of it. Now, you could meet in the middle. For instance, when my bf takes me to the doctor, he leaves and goes shopping or to a bookstore or something and when I'm ready, I call him on his cell and he comes back to the office.

Richard_Head
08-21-2005, 07:12 PM
Never get a whacked out, psycho, former hardcore drug user pregnant, gentlemen, that's all I've got to say. LOL, sound advise there my friend.

merely_lurking
08-21-2005, 07:19 PM
Dude, you should've gotten up and taken her to the doctor. I don't care if it's your day off... it's your kid and you need to take care of it. Now, you could meet in the middle. For instance, when my bf takes me to the doctor, he leaves and goes shopping or to a bookstore or something and when I'm ready, I call him on his cell and he comes back to the office.

Well, I'd been to several previous visits with her including one the previous week, and she only told me about the appointment the day before it was scheduled. I didn't say I definitely wouldn't go, but I wanted to discuss it, and this threw her into a fit.

erotictonic
08-21-2005, 08:16 PM
Well, I'd been to several previous visits with her including one the previous week, and she only told me about the appointment the day before it was scheduled. I didn't say I definitely wouldn't go, but I wanted to discuss it, and this threw her into a fit.

What about her being 8 months pregnant do you not understand?! I will tell you what I think: If someone bitched at me about not giving bjs at 8 months pregnant, you would be out the door right then. Do you have any idea how miserable someone is who is walking around 8 months pregnant?! You should be waiting on her hand and foot, after all, she IS carrying your child! Now you should've been a man and taken the responsibility to take that woman to the doctor when she was scheduled to go, because it is your responsibility! Doesn't matter when she told you... it IS top priority! You are bringing a life into this world. And losing your job.... this is a really great time for that to happen. From the way you have described the scenarios here, it sounds as if it were all your fault what has happened and I don't blame her. You don't "discuss" a doctor's appointment with your 8 month pregnant wife, nor do you "discuss" anything... she is having enough trouble just surviving at this point!

MinahSky
08-21-2005, 09:20 PM
Hey M_L...nice to see you've survived until today... ;)

merely_lurking
08-21-2005, 09:54 PM
What about her being 8 months pregnant do you not understand?! I will tell you what I think: If someone bitched at me about not giving bjs at 8 months pregnant, you would be out the door right then. Do you have any idea how miserable someone is who is walking around 8 months pregnant?! You should be waiting on her hand and foot, after all, she IS carrying your child! Now you should've been a man and taken the responsibility to take that woman to the doctor when she was scheduled to go, because it is your responsibility! Doesn't matter when she told you... it IS top priority! You are bringing a life into this world. And losing your job.... this is a really great time for that to happen. From the way you have described the scenarios here, it sounds as if it were all your fault what has happened and I don't blame her. You don't "discuss" a doctor's appointment with your 8 month pregnant wife, nor do you "discuss" anything... she is having enough trouble just surviving at this point!
I never said I bitched about her not giving me blowjobs. I never asked her to give me a blowjob. I just was wondering why she didn't want to give me blowjobs anymore, but still wanted me to fuck her on a regular basis. I posted on here about it, but didn't say anything to her about the issue. Everything is open for discussion as I see, as open communication leads to understanding. Just because you are pregnant and feel miserable doesn't give you the right to be abusive to the father of your child. As far as losing my job is concerned, she gets $3000 a month from a trust fund so I think she should be able to get by.