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SportsWriter2
09-06-2005, 04:21 PM
I used to do the hot wax gothic thing, but it gets too messy to clean after the show.

You can comb it off skin and other surfaces with a pocket comb. Amazing how well it works. Not something you'd imagine beforehand.

cinammonkisses
09-06-2005, 05:09 PM
I recall one stage show where I found it extremely difficult not to laugh. At this particular club, behind the stage was a 4 foot wall covered in mirrors. Well this dancer is acting all sexy as she walked towards the wall and she tries to kick her right leg up so that it would rest on the top. Problem was that she had absolutely no flexibility as she was on her toes with both knees bent and her back hunched over. After one failed attempt, she tried again... then again! She finally gave up but by then it was too late. She had already exhibited the grace of a new born giraffe and killed any desire I had of getting a dance from her.

LMAO that is the funniest thing I've heard all day! Dam, I really needed that ;D

sloppyjoe
09-06-2005, 08:20 PM
i'm sorry but hard boiled eggs smell so bad! and what about the shell? it kinda crumbles. i used to play with candles all the time(not in the southern hemisphere) but i know when i spill that hot wax on my fingers it don't feel too good.

NinaDaisy
09-06-2005, 10:18 PM
Grabbing money with your ass cheeks/pussy. Especially in a nude club. I'm sure y'all know I'm not a big fan of e.coli by now...

yoda57us
09-07-2005, 04:41 AM
Grabbing money with your ass cheeks/pussy. Especially in a nude club. I'm sure y'all know I'm not a big fan of e.coli by now...

Agreed, though it displays impressive dexterity, it's not sexy at all.

SportsWriter2
09-07-2005, 05:12 AM
Grabbing money with your ass cheeks/pussy. Especially in a nude club. I'm sure y'all know I'm not a big fan of e.coli by now...

I'm a big fan of E. coli. Capital E, for Escherichia (genus) coli (species), named after the guy who isolated it in 1885. It lives in our intestines, where it provides our Vitamin K and B-complex vitamins.

The health hazard comes from a mutation, E. coli O157:H7, found in the intestines of cattle. It doesn't hurt them, but it can make humans sick.

So... focus your attention on hamburger. Cook it well and clean the preparation area thoroughly. In theory, O157:H7 from cattle can contaminate anything, but that happens mainly (and rarely) with unpasteurized cider/apple juice.

Me, I like veggieburgers and iced tea. I don't worry about a dancer picking up money with her butt cheeks. :)

Phedre
09-07-2005, 03:33 PM
OMG.
This girl at a club by me does the bicycle to move to each new customer. YEAH... the move your mom used to do laying in bed... ya know with her legs up in the air like she was biking. It's the corniest and ugliest thing I have ever seen. Then she gets on her knees, slams their head into her fakies, turns around slaps her ass and crawls away. OH ITS SICK! She is a meth head, I don't know if she has ever seen herself do this before but it makes her look so tweaked out because it's a move she does in less than 10 seconds!

Malibu
09-08-2005, 09:22 AM
Malibu....This is key....

Was it a coke....or pepsi bottle?

It would always be a beer bottle like Budweiser or Corona or something. Just icky.

WARNING - ICKY STORY: Another dancer friend of mine (I don't know how true this is, I hope anyway her eyes were deceiving her), said that another girl (known in our club for the odd ridiculously raunchy stage show), bottle-fucked herself on stage and she saw a clot of period blood fall down the inside neck of the bottle AND she successfully got a punter to drink from the bottle. I wa gagging at the sheer thought.


I guess its tacky dependent upon the girl... but a girl with no breasts trying, and failing to lick her own nipple.

I would have LOVED to see that!! LMFAO! I did get a guy to spend 70 quid on me this past weekend sheerly for the fact that I could lick, suck and bite my own nipple. He found it a major turn on. Maybe this girls was just trying to delve into your deepest fantasies!! ;D


Well this dancer is acting all sexy as she walked towards the wall and she tries to kick her right leg up so that it would rest on the top. Problem was that she had absolutely no flexibility as she was on her toes with both knees bent and her back hunched over.
A few of the girls in my club do this and I never understand why. It is never done gracefully and the fact they have to contort themselves into this position means that they are not actually so flexible! I'm all for girls learning new moves, but if you can't do a move, then don't do it on stage in front of a room full of people until you can!!

xdamage
09-08-2005, 10:45 AM
WARNING - ICKY STORY: Another dancer friend of mine (I don't know how true this is, I hope anyway her eyes were deceiving her), said that another girl (known in our club for the odd ridiculously raunchy stage show), bottle-fucked herself on stage and she saw a clot of period blood fall down the inside neck of the bottle AND she successfully got a punter to drink from the bottle. I wa gagging at the sheer thought.


Thanks! And I was thinking hmm, it's been a few months, about time to go the club. Thanks to this story my urge has been curbed. I just saved several hundred dollars. ;)

SportsWriter2
09-08-2005, 11:16 AM
I hate it when they writhe on the nude stage telling you about some 9-inch cock they had last night. Why is it always 9 inches? ::)

sloppyjoe
09-08-2005, 07:00 PM
hey phedre. my mom's gunna love that one. that's so fucking funny. ;D

sloppyjoe
09-09-2005, 06:47 PM
maybe they're all talking about the same cock. }:D

NVJosh
09-09-2005, 09:32 PM
I hate it when they writhe on the nude stage telling you about some 9-inch cock they had last night. Why is it always 9 inches? ::)

Because I get around...hey...whoa...yeah.

Okay, I'm not 9" and don't want to be 9"....Mrs. J has trouble enough with what I do have.

NinaDaisy
09-09-2005, 09:40 PM
I guess 9" is just enough to give a guy an inferiority complex without sounding too unrealistic?

McCain
09-12-2005, 10:08 PM
Oh, yes...

I forgot...

Iwould also like to nominate "smoking a cigarette on stage with your nether regions".

Had a girl at my first club who was nailed with an L&L charge by undercovers for that *exotic* display...

~~McCain

Helle
10-10-2005, 04:59 AM
I have to vote 'Licking your own nipple" as one of the tackiest things. Or girls who TRY to ass jiggle but have no ass to jiggle.

But see, I'm an ass girl myself. I like when a girl smacks her own ass or jiggles it. I just like to see the roundness of it jiggling like jelly.

I totally do that crab walk thing someone mentioned earlier. I saw a girl do it before and I thought it looked sexy... Shit, maybe it wasn't lol.

I do the individual ass cheek moving thing too, but I seem to get a good response to it being I'm the only girl in my club that can do it.

Miss. Kristina Lee
10-10-2005, 09:26 AM
oh what a good thread!

We used to have a retired feature working at our club, and she would take 2 flashlights on stage and shine them under her implants. i dont know if you know this or not but implants glow when you hold flashlights under them. theres nothing sexhy about it.

she would also take an excersize ball on stage and bounce on it like she was humping it.

im guilty of the ass smack out of sheer habit, il shall try to stop.
booty shaking is so common at my club i dont think i can stop doing that.

i hate it when girls lick their own nipples i think thats gross!

i do the match trick but only for large birthday parties, it usually goes over well.

threlayer
10-21-2005, 07:01 AM
By far, the alternating chest muscle squeeze, the one that causes the boobs to quiver.

Lilith
10-21-2005, 11:02 AM
The girls who bounce their ass on stage for the entire song. Especially if they can't even do it in tempo.

Sticking their fingers in their thongs. Especially the back of the thong.

There's a girl at work who does one move in particular which makes me wince every time. Back to the pole, one arm holding it and facing away from the customers, she squats and rubs her crack up and down the pole. OMG TEH HORROR!

colleen
10-22-2005, 09:53 AM
I saw a dancer humping the pool table yesterday. Horrid!

playstation
11-07-2005, 07:22 PM
girls who bounce their ass on stage.....BORING!!

smacking the ass.....again,BORING!...rather do it myself!:O

DylanAngel
11-09-2005, 10:59 AM
Hands down, tackiest thing was the lactating dancer who squeezed her milk into a shotglass and fed it to the custies for $$$$. Sometimes when she was bored or to drum up interest, she'd squeeze and shoot milk across the room.

SexySonya
11-23-2005, 09:06 PM
I would have to say the heel slam on the stage followed by the ass-slap then followed by the obsession of the " Vanity Check" in the mirror I cannot forget the infamous finger in the "Wahoo" trick. SOOOO tacky :strip:

dancerchick
01-23-2006, 08:20 PM
The "crab walk", or "bicycle" never looked right to me. Then one night a customer told me the girl looked like a dog dragging it's ass across the floor. I feel sorry for girls when I see them do it

FourWinns
01-25-2006, 08:18 PM
... stage crabbing (?) - I don't know what it's called professionally - but the stage dancer lays on her back and elbows, raises, spreads her legs slightly bent at the knee then rolls back and forth sideways while she moves toward you for her tip. Replusive - reminds me of a crab stuck on it's back.

... for what it's worth - I reported here several months ago a dancer's tacky move and now the same girl is one of my most favorite lap dancers. Live and learn in the SC!

pumpkin22
01-27-2006, 07:41 PM
Ugh, that lactating thing is so nasty. When I was breastfeeding a few months ago, the shit got everywhere and smelled so bad - well, like sour milk. Why would you want to spray it all over the place? And even more importantly, who would drink it?? That makes me want to gag!!

I think the tackiest stripper move is not so much a "move", but it is walking up to guys and just saying "want a dance?" without introducing themselves. It's rude!

Jenny
01-27-2006, 08:53 PM
^^^
But effective. In a busy club that will get the same money that sitting down and talking to people will, but without the pesky talking that, at least half the time, leads the guy acting like he thinks you really like him (and I don't even mean that in a hateful way - I mean that in a "What? A dance? How could you... what do you... No. But you're a really nice person, and I really enjoy talking to you" kind of "thinks you like him" way). I found a club in the states in which I could actually eliminate getting up to talk to the customers by positioning myself at a main walkway on the return route from the bathroom. You put out the leg to stop them, and "Are you ready for a dance from me yet?" I probably got more no's than the other girls, but I got more yes's too.

pumpkin22
01-28-2006, 09:22 AM
I can see where that would have it's uses in a big club, but out here, we don't really have any clubs that huge. Sometimes it works, but it's sort of an etiquette thing out here where a lot of times the new girls use that tactic and wonder why they aren't making any money. It's annoying when the guys think that you actually like them, but most of the guys out here are looking for a little company instead of just a dance. Of course this is not always true, just an observation.

azcustomer
01-28-2006, 05:16 PM
I think the ass slap had it's day back when it was a novelty. In addition to the relatively few fetish guys/gals who really like this stuff - it also used to be that "shocker" that got the dancer attention.
IMO - Now, it's overused both in the club by dancers and out of the club by the general public - I still tell gals I'm dating that it's cute when they do it in public to get some attention -- but I'm lying.

The tackiest I've seen are usually from the relative newbie dancer who tries to do some lame modification of a gymnastics move/flip or cheerleader splits/arm moves.

FourWinns
01-28-2006, 06:28 PM
Just a few months ago I wrinkled my nose at an ass-slap but I'm liking it now. I also now enjoy 'lame' dancer moves.

Bewitched
01-28-2006, 06:50 PM
I'm not a fan of the leg spread... I just think it's overboard and makes you look desparate.

exotisch23
02-16-2006, 03:46 AM
I recall one stage show where I found it extremely difficult not to laugh. At this particular club, behind the stage was a 4 foot wall covered in mirrors. Well this dancer is acting all sexy as she walked towards the wall and she tries to kick her right leg up so that it would rest on the top. Problem was that she had absolutely no flexibility as she was on her toes with both knees bent and her back hunched over. After one failed attempt, she tried again... then again! She finally gave up but by then it was too late. She had already exhibited the grace of a new born giraffe and killed any desire I had of getting a dance from her.


This is why I am afraid to ever try new moves on stage so I do the same boring shit & eventually hate going on stage all together. I need to get a pole!

Bob_Loblaw
02-17-2006, 10:22 PM
This is why I am afraid to ever try new moves on stage so I do the same boring shit & eventually hate going on stage all together. I need to get a pole!

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to add new moves to your repertoire. But I would think most would like to practice a little before whipping one out for the first time. I dunno, maybe experiment when the club is dead?

Malibu
02-24-2006, 05:36 AM
Definitely experiment when the club is dead.Or if it's possible, get the head girl (whose close to management) to teach you moves outside of club hours in the club. Some clubs allow it. Mine does and it means that the new girls practice before they areallowed on stage. It's a neat idea.

stitch132
02-26-2006, 07:52 PM
The worst for me is a dancer who does a kind of downrock breakdance thing -- on her back spinning with legs flying. With those 6" heels, she puts me in fear for my life. When she sees me backing away, she says something like "Don't worry honey, I won't hurt you." Yeah, right.

JadeEnvy21
02-27-2006, 02:52 AM
The worst for me is a dancer who does a kind of downrock breakdance thing -- on her back spinning with legs flying. With those 6" heels, she puts me in fear for my life. When she sees me backing away, she says something like "Don't worry honey, I won't hurt you." Yeah, right.

I almost spit my soda all over my computer screen when I read that? Somebody actally was breakdancing on stage? Oh I woulda paid top dollar for that shit!

Gia2608
03-04-2006, 10:39 PM
This is making me laugh my ass off!

I'm so glad I'm too lazy to try anything crazy on stage. I always say, I've got about six tricks, you're lucky if I pull two out in a stage set.

I think the worst thing I ever saw was at my club now, this train wreck of a day girl with a dyke hair cut; gets up the front of the stage with a bottle of budweiser, walks to the pole, chugs the thing like a frat boy, belches, then takes her top off.

stitch132
03-05-2006, 11:22 AM
Drinks beer AND gets naked?? Wow. My kind of girl! ;D

thechaosfairy
03-06-2006, 04:05 AM
Gia, a girl like that would do really well here -- at least, there's a gregarious tomboy-dyke dancer at my club who makes bank. But then, she also has the best figure I've ever seen on anyone, hands down.

Docido
03-08-2006, 05:07 PM
Don't they all get tacky after a while?

yoda57us
03-08-2006, 05:44 PM
A smile and a hello hug never gets old.

Docido
03-08-2006, 05:57 PM
A smile and a hello hug never gets old.

True dat!! I guess I've been exposed to so much radioactive SS lately that I need to take a break. ;)

stitch132
03-11-2006, 05:12 PM
... With those 6" heels, she puts me in fear for my life. ...As vindication of my fear, comes this story in the news today:

Woman sues club over stripper's kick -- The customer and the club owner have different stories of how her nose was broken by a dancer's high-heeled shoe (http://www.sptimes.com/2006/03/11/Northpinellas/Woman_sues_club_over_.shtml)

Pretty_Penny
03-26-2006, 12:14 PM
am i the only one who's never seen this "match trick" done? someone explain it to me!

SeppeSai
03-28-2006, 03:57 PM
I had one bit the other day that was a real turn-off. A dancer came up from behind me while i was sitting at the bar and climbed onto the barstool step, all the while draping herself all over me and singing along the song that was playing. She then asked me if I wanted any dances and I said no. Not after that.

SeppeSai
06-12-2006, 03:50 PM
Here's a funny bit that happened yesterday.

I'm sitting at the bar watching some baseball when the bartender asks me if I wanted a refill. I reply in the affirmative and she goes to take care of it.

Two dancers plop themselves down next to me and ask me in a stereo seranade: "Are you going to buy us drinks, too?" I look at them both and say no.

The dancer farthest from me let irritation cross her face and she said the following:

"You suck."

I only looked at her, then ignored her and her friend. They vanished shortly thereafter.

Yekhefah
06-12-2006, 06:30 PM
LOL! Sounds like one time when my ex was at the club, sitting quietly with a beer, watching the dancer onstage. A rather homely girl sat down next to him and asked, "You wanna dance?" He said, "No, thanks." She suddenly stood up, red in the face, and with a trailer-park accent straight off Springer, she knocked over his beer and screamed, "AH HATE YEEUUW, MUTHER FUCKER!!"

Surprisingly, that failed to win him over and he left the club. Came home drenched in beer.

dayzed
06-12-2006, 08:27 PM
The other day I had a girl plop on my lap and IMMEDIATELY begin playing w/ my nipples. It was really the immediacy with which she went for the nipples that turned me off. I told her that I wasn't interested in a dance quite yet (this was true, I had literally just arrived) and gave her $5 to thank her for her time and effort (yeah, I know, rookie move, but I just wanted to placate her and get rid of her LOL). She threw my $5 back at me and said she didn't care about a dance, she just couldn't resist coming over and sitting on the lap. Of course then thirty seconds later she asked if I was ready for a dance, I repeated the no, and she hopped up w/ no further adieu.

Overall just a very odd hustle.

easy_e
06-13-2006, 04:19 PM
Not really on topic, but similar to above, only worse:

I was out with some friends prior to going to a regular club, planning to have a few overpriced drinks and see the sights, maybe throw a few $ on stage, and leave. So we all sit down, nothing much happening except the dancers darting around the club as if they are all on some amphetamine-fueled secret mission. Out of nowhere, a tall black girl I've never seen before suddenly plops down in my lap and with her face inches away from mine, the following conversation ensues, accompanied by playing with my hair, kissing my ears and neck and some fondling of poor little _e thrown in:

Her: OMG, I thought I'd never see you again! what's a good looking guy like you doing in a strip club?
Me: (looking around, assuming she's talking to someone else) I've never seen you before in my life.
Her: Well, I could never forget you.
Me: I swear to God I do not know you and I've never, ever, ever seen you before.
Her: I'm so happy to see you again, it's my last night dancing! This must be fate! What a treat to see you on my last night!
Me: (now completely uninterested) We're leaving soon so I won't be getting any dances tonight and I don't want to waste your time. (hint)
Her: That's ok, I'm just soooo glad you're here!
Me: Excuse me, I'm going to tip the girl on stage.
Her: OK, I'll wait right here!
Me: I really wish you wouldn't (tips stage dancer and begs her to save me)

I return to find her camped out in my seat, so I start to sit down in the next one and she jumps up, grabs my arm and tells me: oh no, you're sitting right here, and again perches in my lap. By now my buddies are cracking up and making no effort to help, the bastards. This scenario repeats several times, now I'm offering the stage dancers a minimum of 3 dances to get rid of her, as well as making numerous trips to the bathroom and just walking around. Every time I return, she's still there, like a barnacle superglued to a ships hull. I've determined that she must be clinically insane, and to make matters worse, none of the other dancers will take me up on my 3 dance offer. Finally, her ride shows up and after a protracted and unnecessarily long goodbye, I am free at last.

I look at my traitorous buds and inquire, what the f**k was that? They are too convulsed with laughter to respond. To add insult to injury, now all 4 of the girls I begged to rescue me (like a drowning man grasping at a life preserver), show up at my table at the same time, all wanting their 3 dances. Where the hell were you when I needed you?, I ask. They just shrug and flash their sexy little smiles, so like the PL I am, I end up getting one dance from each.

GenWar
06-13-2006, 07:38 PM
^^^ This reminds me of a time in Detroit with the wingman. One dancer liked him and she just attached herself to him and sat there. And sat there. And sat there. Never made an offer. Never did much but ask for a drink now and again. Didn't even make conversation. but she gave evil eyes to anyone who approached. After about 90 minutes, my lady for the evening got a "babysitter" call and departed. I had to do the Wingman duties and save him. I asked her to come over so I could speak to her for a second and, as soon as she moved, he departed with another dancer. She was, of course, mortified, as she felt she had earned those dances. I had to explain to her how we operate and, when he returned, she asked for the business and off they went. Ironically, I recall he really enjoyed her company after that. Still, I am often heard to say that, were it not for me, he would still be sitting there with her, months later, unable to depart. :)

-gen