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Stringer
08-21-2005, 06:30 PM
Don't sweat it, Lilith. If the girl you were speaking to accepted your apology, then that's all that matters. It is obvious from your posts that your heart is in the right place.

Bridgette
08-21-2005, 07:03 PM
Cristalla, I'd advise you to NOT use the word wetback in conversation. It is definitely used and received in a negative way. ;)

Also, when people call you a WOP they are not being nice...

PaigeDWinter
08-21-2005, 07:25 PM
Cristalla, I'd advise you to NOT use the word wetback in conversation. It is definitely used and received in a negative way. ;)

Also, when people call you a WOP they are not being nice...

Whats weird for me is, the only person I know that acutally uses the term Wetback, is Mexican.... go figure!

I always laugh when I get called a Wop. Most folks dont realize that calling a woman a Wop is literally incorrect.

Cristalla
08-21-2005, 08:08 PM
yeah thanks bridgette,,, thats why i always ask first :) but sometimes learning a new language brings u back like when u were a child and u just repeated the words u heard,,,
i totally want to avoid that mistake!

tampafldancer
08-21-2005, 08:12 PM
ouch... I don't think that you meant anything wrong by it, but you really should choose your selection of words more carefully..

MinahSky
08-21-2005, 08:45 PM
None of those words are good to say to anyone. I dont' are if the person saying it is of that nationality. It didn't start in a good place and isnt' meant to be nice...

Bridgette
08-22-2005, 12:04 AM
I've heard alot of 2nd-3rd generation mexicans use the word wetbacks, and they don't mean it in a nice way either. I never quite understood that, since their parents/grandparents were wetbacks /:O

TJAndDani
08-22-2005, 12:15 AM
oh ,,, ok... sometimes i read all this american slang terms and i need to know if they are bad or not because i might use them in a conversation not knowing and get in trouble,,,
i m italian and sometimes they called me WOP but it just makes me laugh ... i dont take offense maybe because is just a funny word and doesnt have a meaning in my country...lots has to do with being raised with the meaning of the word

http://www.rsdb.org/?2

^ Racial slur database. If you are easily offended I wouldn't read it. its basically a spreadsheet looking database on almost every word I have heard plus a few I havent. And it includes the meanings behind the words, which is helpful in smiting the racist people.

That should help you out Cristalla on some racial terms.

PaigeDWinter
08-22-2005, 12:52 AM
http://www.rsdb.org/?2

^ Racial slur database. If you are easily offended I wouldn't read it. its basically a spreadsheet looking database on almost every word I have heard plus a few I havent. And it includes the meanings behind the words, which is helpful in smiting the racist people.

That should help you out Cristalla on some racial terms.

Cant say for sure for the majority of the slurs listed, but their definition for WOP is mostly wrong. But then again, most folks dont know the real meaning.


Several American dictionaries will tell you that wop is an acronym for "without papers" or "without passport," supposedly formerly stamped on the immigration documents of certain newcomers arrived from Italy. Una sciocchezza! Utter flapdoodle! Poppycock! Nonsense! In all the files of all the various names under which American departments of immigration have been known throughout United States history, there is no record whatsoever of the official issuance of such a stamp. No person has ever brought forward and presented as evidence a single immigration document stamped with such a phrase. Not once.


Be suspicious whenever you are offered a word origin involving a short form or an acronym. The illiterate and the unread don't seem able to imagine language being passed through history, so acronymic pseudo-etymology is often the only path they are able to posit. These are the folks who think that the f word (whose roots are at least 3,000 years old!) is an acronym representing in English "for undue carnal knowledge." What, one wonders, would be "undue" about the carnal knowledge of, say, animals and married persons. I don't put animals and marrieds together on purpose, by the way.

A plausible source of the word wop is the Spanish adjective guapo, pronounced approximately 'wopo' or 'hwopo,' depending on dialect. Its prime and sensuous meaning is 'beautiful' or 'handsome.' As a noun it came to mean 'dandy" or 'foppish male.' Then, says one theory I don't agree with (see why below), Spanish soldiers sent to Sicily took guapo meaning 'dandy' with them where the word entered Sicilian dialect as guappo. The word made its way north in Italy to become part of the dialect of Naples also. Italian guappo turned into a term of affection among Italian men who, when some of them immigrated to the United States in the late 19th century, carried the word to America as a term of male affection.

Then, says this theory, non-Italian Americans heard Italian men referring to one another by this term, so the Americans mysteriously first reverted to the Spanish spelling but made the word wop an insult for Italians in general. The last shift is particularly unbelievable. But this is the origin currently in favour with several of the large dictionaries of English. The earliest usage in the Oxford English Dictionary dates to 1912 and is spelled wap. One American dictionary of slang says the first printed version they can find spells it Spanish-style as guap and guapo. The next OED usage citation is for the year 1914, with the familiar spelling of wop.

The major fact against the Italian guappo is its pronunciation. Guappo is spoken as 'gwappo,' not 'wopo.' The g is hard, the u is a 'w' sound. In no Italian dialect, not Sicilian, not Neapolitan, not Brooklyn, is guappo pronounced 'wopo.'

Think of the Italian word for 'men who make up the watch,' guardia. It is pronounced 'GWARDya." The famous airport in New York city is not 'Lawardia,' is it? No, it's LaGWARDia. But we are to suppose that every single American listening to these Italian immigrants use their word guappo heard them say 'wopo' and not 'GWAppo.' That's crap. It's not merely unlikely. Such a derivation is preposterous and the whole story reeks of folk etymology.

The etymology that appeals to my knowledge of verbal transmission is the one propounded by most Spanish linguistic writers on the etymology of their own words and language. Their basic story is: it all happened in Spain.Guapo was first applied in Spain as an insult for Italian migrant grape workers in Iberian vineyards. Today Spain has more than one million "guest workers." Of course, the country has always HAD to welcome immigrant workers because of population scarcity and density fluctuations at various times in Spanish history. When the first large flood of Italian workers came to Spain at the end of the 19th century and in the early years of the 20th century, Spanish men, with their notoriously sensitive machismo, thought very little of Italian males. Spanish women disagreed—as records of intermarriage attest. Spanish men dismissed Italian men as "los guapos," 'the pretty boys.' They were too handsome. They were pretty boys who had to be watched when they were around virginal and pure Spanish women. British and American residents and visitors to Spain heard Italian men being called guapos. To remind, Spanish guapo is said 'wopo.' Italian is not.

Malibu
08-22-2005, 01:12 AM
I would apologise to the girl (not any of the others) for how the comment may have come across, but make it clear to EVERYONE you are not apologising for the actual comment. Your comment was with good intentions - make sure they understand that.

They were obviously looking for ANY reason to hate on you. You know you are not racist, and I'm sure they know too, they are just pulling this out as far as they can to alienate you and make you doubt yourself. Do not offer them an opportunity to get you down.

pet_rock
08-22-2005, 07:52 AM
From a custy POV, someone needs to tell the DJs to turn up the lights a bit when fairly dark black women are on stage simply so I can SEE them, damnit! Maybe he should clear it with her first in case she's ashy and doesn't want the lighting right then, but it's a visual thing and I won't tip what I can't see!

BigGreenMnM
08-22-2005, 09:04 AM
From a custy POV, someone needs to tell the DJs to turn up the lights a bit when fairly dark black women are on stage simply so I can SEE them, damnit! Maybe he should clear it with her first in case she's ashy and doesn't want the lighting right then, but it's a visual thing and I won't tip what I can't see!

Its something i have never understood,but deal with every time I work.

stunning females!!!
Ones that you would have to search long and hard to find a visual imperfection,demanding low lights.

Doesnt seem to matter what color they are,most want low lights.

When I hear a custie complain about not being able to see them,all i can do is tell them to sit at the stage and tip,not in the back of the room saving money.

Im not saying this applies to you,im saying its rare to find a club where you cant see the girl if your close to the stage,even in low light.

The dj is caught between the lighting the club wants,and what the entertainer insist on 5 seconds before her set.

BigGreenMnM
08-22-2005, 09:12 AM
i m italian and sometimes they called me WOP but it just makes me laugh ... i dont take offense maybe because is just a funny word and doesnt have a meaning in my country...lots has to do with being raised with the meaning of the word

mean no offense,its just because you asked what "wet back"means.

WOP...
It stands for "WithOut Papers"
Its an insult.

Its a slang word that came from imagration into the USA,if memory serves me,i think it was born in New York.

prrfektwurld
08-22-2005, 09:22 AM
i just read your post to my roommate, who is ethnic. she said it was good advice. :^)

Foxey
08-22-2005, 11:42 AM
Hey I didn't say anything about "acting black" I said "PRETENDING to be black" I agree, I don't think it's possible to "act black" but yeah it is possible to pretend to be black. What is with a white girl who won't talk to anyone but black people and looks down on other white people? You can't tell me that she isn't having an identity crisis. And yeah I have worked with girls like that. I think that no matter what color you are you should embrace your heritage and be open minded towards everyone. And ya know what? American "Ghetto" is a new culture to me. I grew up in Vancouver BC. Ghetto is defined by the dictionary as "A section of a city occupied by a minority group who live there especially because of social, economic, or legal pressure" In Vancouver that discription would most accurately describe the downtown east side, or east hastings area. Guess what? People down there don't speak "ghetto" in fact they sound like everyone else in Vancouver. The most predominant minority there are Native Americans (or should I say Native Canadians, First Nations whatever) My point is that I have a hard time knowing "ghetto" when I hear it simpley because it's new to me. I think anyone in Vancouver can vouche for that. If the only people I've ever heard speaking "ghetto" are black people on MTV and so when I hear a white girl speak "ghetto" and I perceive it as her "pretending" to be black does that make me a bigot? No, it just makes me misinformed and hey I will accept that.

BrainyDancerGirl
08-22-2005, 12:51 PM
Lilith,

Hon, relax. You didn't do anything wrong. And even if the other person perceived what you said to be bad, you apologized and meant it sincerely. You shouldn't worry about it.

I'm black myself, and I totally understand what you're saying. Wearing black (unless is has sparkles or is bordered in white) does make a darker skinned girl less noticeable. It's not a mean thing to say, it's the truth! Dark skinned girls should wear bright colors to emphasize the beautiful contrast. I know I do!! :D

MinahSky
08-22-2005, 01:07 PM
It seems as if you're trying to educate yourself, Foxey, which is a good thing. Just remember that the world is a big place and MTV doesn't capture all of it...

SW Siren
08-22-2005, 01:11 PM
I think the better way to have made the suggestion of costume color would have been to say how lovely she would have looked in brighter colors.

it's always better to focus on the positive of a situation, especially when it is constructive criticism

PaigeDWinter
08-22-2005, 03:41 PM
WOP...
It stands for "WithOut Papers"
Its an insult.

Its a slang word that came from imagration into the USA,if memory serves me,i think it was born in New York.


Nuh uh. Check the post I made a page or so back, hun.

cinammonkisses
08-22-2005, 06:28 PM
Hey I didn't say anything about "acting black" I said "PRETENDING to be black" .

Then what the hell do you think actors do?! Acting = Pretend...Sigh..I'm just gonna not speak on this. For you to have been born in my generation..geez girl, you really need to get a clue. :-\

exotica17
08-23-2005, 01:52 AM
Yeah, forget about it. I'm extremely dark-skinned too, and I rarely ever wear any color that isn't white. I even joke about wearing black and might say something like, "Hey, can you see me in this?" I mean, heck, I can barely see a pale-skinned person in black in club lighting! White (and often red and pink) are the two best colors for ANY dancer to wear--I have yet to see a dancer who does not look good in white at the clubs.

Foxey
08-23-2005, 09:06 AM
Then what the hell do you think actors do?! Acting = Pretend...Sigh..I'm just gonna not speak on this. For you to have been born in my generation..geez girl, you really need to get a clue. :-\

Hey did you even read my last post? Maybe you need to get a clue that not everyone comes from the same place you do and not everyone has had the same life experiences. Have you ever even heard of Vancouver? Do you even know where it is? I'll give you a hint it's not a suberb of Toronto...

Amethyst
08-23-2005, 09:43 AM
I feel so horrible, I think I said something that totally came out racist.

This one black girl was complaining how she made no money so I asked her if I could make a suggestion.

I told her that since her skin is dark and she wears black clothes and it's a nightclub, she tends to kinda fade in the background.

All of a sudden everyone was mad at me. I spent the whole night apologizing to everybody and I feel so guilty that I've been throwing up. ;-;

I didn't mean for it to sound mean or anything. ;-;

Was it bad?

Great advice (provided she's a dark-skinned Black dancer as not all Black people are the same color). Your choice of words leave much to be desired though. Maybe just: "I bet you'd look awesome in black or light blue - you'd really stand out!" instead of immediately commenting on her skin color. Are you racist? Nah. I've heard much worse. I also wouldn't worry about the other dancers either. Some girls just love drama, and they'll be mad at someone else in about a week.

Cristalla
08-23-2005, 09:45 AM
yes i knew it meant without papers - i didnt know the whole new wopo theory Paige decribed though -- but still i didnt feel insulted ,,, at that time i was actually without papers except my tourist visa ;) but still i didnt care,,, if i get called slut or bitch then i care and those are insults ... but sometimes i hear black girls calling each other 'nigga' and they seem not to take it as an insult...they laugh and look playful... so i get confused ,,,

gypsy_girlchild
08-23-2005, 09:58 AM
I would apologise to the girl (not any of the others) for how the comment may have come across, but make it clear to EVERYONE you are not apologising for the actual comment. Your comment was with good intentions - make sure they understand that.


I agree w/ this. It atleast covers your bases by making sure that the originial dancer wasn't upset by the commnet, which she obviously wasn't.
I've been told by many dark skinned dancers that they have to wear bright colors or they fade in the dark lighting, It's definitely true in one club I have worked at, even the REALLY tanned caucasian dancers have to wear neon or you can't really see their faces. I think I lent a dark-skinned new girl a red outfit one time because all she had was black dresses and she wasn't making any money.

I'm glad you cared enough to make sure she was fine, but it just sounds like another case of grls starting up the drama train.
It does suck to be called racist, I concider it the worst insult in the world because it's very hard to convince someone you are not, especially when they weren't even there (I'm referring to the dancers that come after the fact.)
I guess this time you have to let it go and be glad that the on you were talking to knows that you were just trying to help.

Amethyst
08-23-2005, 10:24 AM
yes i knew it meant without papers - i didnt know the whole new wopo theory Paige decribed though -- but still i didnt feel insulted ,,, at that time i was actually without papers except my tourist visa ;) but still i didnt care,,, if i get called slut or bitch then i care and those are insults ... but sometimes i hear black girls calling each other 'nigga' and they seem not to take it as an insult...they laugh and look playful... so i get confused ,,,

Those Black girls are idiots. These are the same Black girls that will get pissed off when someone not Black-American will use that word. I get pissed off when anyone uses it.

SthnrnGrl77
08-23-2005, 11:00 AM
Great advice (provided she's a dark-skinned Black dancer as not all Black people are the same color). Your choice of words leave much to be desired though. Maybe just: "I bet you'd look awesome in black or light blue - you'd really stand out!" instead of immediately commenting on her skin color. Are you racist? Nah. I've heard much worse. I also wouldn't worry about the other dancers either. Some girls just love drama, and they'll be mad at someone else in about a week.

ya i think dark skinned girls look great in florescent pinks and even bright whites.

cinammonkisses
08-23-2005, 03:56 PM
Hey did you even read my last post? Maybe you need to get a clue that not everyone comes from the same place you do and not everyone has had the same life experiences. Have you ever even heard of Vancouver? Do you even know where it is? I'll give you a hint it's not a suberb of Toronto...

Child...you really need to get in your place. Yes I did read your post..that is why I responded to it. I dont care where in Canada you are from...you are narrow minded.

You know what..it's not about people coming from the same place as me...do you know WHAT PLACE I AM FROM?! Didn't think so. So please don't speak on it..as if you know me..or anything about me ok.

The problem that I had with your posting is that you said, " " So I dont care if you have come from the big city, or shi, Little House on the Prairie...you were DEAD WRONG!

Oh and for the record..yes, I know where Vancouver is, and yes I can place it on a map...please DO NOT EVER try to insult my intelligence again. ;)

cinammonkisses
08-23-2005, 04:04 PM
Foxey, This is the problem that I had with your posting...

Oh god was it the white girls with the black babies that were offended? A lot of those girls tend to definately have a chip on their shoulder (at least from my experience) I think they are bitter because they are not black so they are trying to over compensate. "OH MY GAWD YOU BE DISRESPECTING MY SISTA LIKE THAT, IMA TELL MA BABY DADDY!" Shut the fuck up already. I'm not racist against black people, in fact I love the black girls that I work with. They are all really cool. I don't like white girls who try to pretend they are black. Get over it already!

Miss Jessica
08-23-2005, 04:43 PM
They're idiots. They just want something to be mad about. Tell them to get the *ahem* over themselves. You said NOTHING offensive, they're just some silly broads so don't sweat it!

MinahSky
08-23-2005, 07:12 PM
Foxey just got put on Ignore by me. If I keep reading her posts I'm going to lose IQ Points (I can afford to lose a lot, but not over her...)

MrChristopher
08-23-2005, 07:21 PM
I honestly didn't read this whole thread because it seemed a bit long etc. I will say, what you said seems fine to me, of course depending on your tone of voice blah blah. People are always looking to be offended anymore, it seems. I will, however, agree that darker skinned girls tend to look/do better in bright colors. Also, to address what someone said earlier about lighting...I have about 30 different lighting programs going. And, yes, I do make different ones for different skin colors. It's a business thing. I personally want every girl to look as amazing as she can while onstage. Some of the amber and blue/green colors that look good on white girls look AWFUL on darker skinned girls, be they black/latino/asian/whatever. If the Dj has the capability and the knowledge, he would switch the lights appropriately for who is onstage.

All in all though,No. It wasn't racist. You obviously did not mean it in any sort of derogatory way. At least as you write it. If it was taken wrong, apologize. If she doesnt accept it...don't worry about it, and move on. There are more important things to care about in this life.

Foxey
08-23-2005, 09:49 PM
Cinnamon Kisses, the reason I made my last post is because you act like I live in a cave. Do you expect everyone in the world to recognize "ghetto" slang? My point was that I didn't understand that speaking ghetto slang wasn't "pretending to be black" because where I come from there is no "ghetto slang" You make it sound like I should have just magically known the differance. What is up with that?

Amethyst
08-24-2005, 02:55 AM
Cinnamon Kisses, the reason I made my last post is because you act like I live in a cave. Do you expect everyone in the world to recognize "ghetto" slang? My point was that I didn't understand that speaking ghetto slang wasn't "pretending to be black" because where I come from there is no "ghetto slang" You make it sound like I should have just magically known the differance. What is up with that?

Not trying to speak for CK, but I would hope that unless one lived in a bubble (or a cave), he or she would know that speaking in the manner you described is not "acting Black". Ever see "The Cosby Show"? Did the Cliff or Claire Huxtable say "Oh my GAWD...I'MA DO DIS, I'MA Do DAT"? I don't think so. How about Oprah? Gabrielle Union? Nia Long? Cuba Gooding Jr.? Tiger Woods Sr (I'd say TW jr, but someone would inevitably come out and say "oh he's mixed, so he doesn't count")? Condi Rice? Colin Powell? Ever hear any of them speak like that, unless s/he was acting in a role?

Since MTV is your window to "Black culture", how about Lauryn Hill, Brian McKnight, Musiq? Even P.Diddy (whatever he's calling himself nowadays) rarely talks like that unless he's in "Diddy"-mode. I wouldn't even call it "ghetto". It's a culture of hip-hop (that encompasses people of ANY ethnicity or social class who lives in that type of culture). You might even notice that not even all hip-hop is the same (east coast vs west coast vs "dirty south").

There's no such thing as "acting Black" or "acting White" or "acting Canadian". Turn off MTV and stop letting modern day minstrels like 50-Cent, Nelly, & Eminem (whoa - he's White, right? hmm..guess that blows your "only Black people speak like that" theory) be the representatives for an entire ethnic group. Watch CNN or something.

Foxey
08-24-2005, 09:09 AM
Fair enough but I've never watched that much TV. My point is that in real life, not on TV, where I come from (Vancouver) there is no ghetto slang. I don't know why that is, but it's true. Besides I never said that all black people speak ghetto slang. That is an obviously stupid stereotype and I have known enough black people to know that isn't true. I'm not sayng that all black people speak ghetto slang, what I am saying is that I've never heard anyone other than black people speak it until I started dancing in the US and heard a few white girls speaking it. In Vancouver there really aren't many black people. The ones who are there are usually of Jamaican decent. Hmmm at the club I worked at the manager was black, the DJ, one of the bouncers, and about three or four dancers. None of them spoke ghetto slang. There was this one white girl who would only talk to them and did so in horrible ghetto slang. They all rolled there eyes at her. That is what gave me the idea she was pretending to be black, the fact that she wouldn't talk to white people even though she was white and the black people didn't like her. What do you think of that scenario?

Madcap
08-24-2005, 09:19 AM
I love how every thread like this degenerates into bickering sooner or later...

cinammonkisses
08-25-2005, 04:32 AM
Foxey just got put on Ignore by me. If I keep reading her posts I'm going to lose IQ Points (I can afford to lose a lot, but not over her...)

You're not the only one :hug:

cinammonkisses
08-25-2005, 04:33 AM
Not trying to speak for CK, but I would hope that unless one lived in a bubble (or a cave), he or she would know that speaking in the manner you described is not "acting Black".

Amethyst when have I ever been upset that you "spoke for me" you know you and I think along the same mind frame hahhaa. Anyway, I read this post..all I could say is, "Tell it girl ;D "

Love ya,
CK

TJAndDani
08-25-2005, 05:15 AM
just let the thread die.

Foxey
08-25-2005, 12:20 PM
Cinnamon Kisses, why haven't you given me your opinion of this?

"There was this one white girl who would only talk to them and did so in horrible ghetto slang. They all rolled there eyes at her. That is what gave me the idea she was pretending to be black, the fact that she wouldn't talk to white people even though she was white and the black people didn't like her. What do you think of that scenario?"

I'm trying to have an intellectual discussion here. I'm trying to learn from your view points. If you put me on ignore all the power to ya but I'm just wondering why you haven't answered my last post as I am curious to your opinion. Or anyone elses for that matter?

BigGreenMnM
08-25-2005, 12:30 PM
It's a culture of hip-hop (that encompasses people of ANY ethnicity or social class who lives in that type of culture). You might even notice that not even all hip-hop is the same (east coast vs west coast vs "dirty south").


Being that im the godfather of Hip-Hop,and im an old,pudgy,white guy,who doesnt spell well,but talks proper american english,I dont think you can blame a speach pattern of a race on a musical movement in history.

true dat???;)

Gabriela
12-12-2005, 02:24 AM
Girl you can't sweat the small stuff. As black people we tend to be really on edge when it comes to a white person commenting about our skin color-be it good or bad- because our skin color determines how we're viewed by others. I think that the other dancer will just appreciate the advice more than anything... for future reference, try to leave any mention of complexion out. Try to say something along the lines of, "you know, you would attract so much more attention if you wore bright colors " and if she doesn't get it it's your choice whether or not to mention why. But know that we're prone to get defensive because we have to be. There are a lot of really racist bastards out there! But thank goodnes you're not one of them!
I don't see why people make such a big deal out of race anyway. I think we''ll all end up being the same color at some point!

JustJayda
12-12-2005, 03:34 PM
I don't have time (right now) to read this whole thread, so forgive me if I repeat what's been said 20 times. You were not wrong to say that! Its the freakin truth, it has nothing to do with race, it has to do with skin tone. It just so happens that many Black people have dark skin. I tell people, in a nice way, all the time what looks good on them. I usually do it by offering them something in that color I don't use anymore etc. Furthermore, I'm sooo sick of girls being pissed off about comments b/c they have a "half Black" kid. There are times when that's valid , but it has NOTHING to do with what u said.

For example, I was in a beauty supply store in Camden, NJ, and this Black lady's daughter asked her mom to buy her a pack of colorful barrettes. The mom told her no, and went on to say that she would look like a Puerto-Rican with all those damn colors. I didn't say anything. Then, the mom saw me and my daughter, and says "oh she's so pretty, where'd she get such beautiful hair?" I replied. "from her half Puerto-Rican scalp, bitch! Now that was a racist situation. The only reason the girls with the bi-racial kids(if they are even telling the truth) are saying anything is to have "something" to Phuckin say.

Let it roll of of your back, the person the comment was made to wasn't bothered, so screw the rest. Hell, u apologized, and u meant it. That's all u can do. I would never be offended by a sincere compliment, criticism or comment, no matter who made it. When someone says something that could be worded better, I tell them just that. I do however, take the compliment at face value. If I didn't, I'd never know how serious some men are when they tell me I'm sure perrrty for a colored girl. I get their money, and laughingly explain to them that Crayola has nothing to do with "all-of-this":)

lgrant98001
12-12-2005, 06:58 PM
I mentioned this thread to my partner, a Black woman who frequently much better insight than I do. Her immediate response: "The remark was benign, but she probably should have phrased it differently." "Why?" I asked. "Because there's cultural stereotype about you can't see Black folks in the dark."

Hmmm...that hadn't occurred to me. Maybe that's why folks were so sensitive about it.

Be well...

Lynn

madmaxine
12-12-2005, 07:10 PM
If I can get over a "tortilla smell" ignorant comment by a co-worker, everyone in the OP's post can get over her boo-boo.

Be glad you live in a nation where we just give eachother dirty looks....some people will get downright inappropriate over similar slights in other countries.

babydolly
12-15-2005, 05:38 PM
Tee hee off subject i had fogotten my makeup one day and was aking my mate to lend me her powder....Dafty here didnt realize why she cracked up laughing...until she pointed out that SHE is black and I am white as casper the friendly ghost!
It had honestly not crossed my mind when i asked her for makeup.....silly me!

Polegal
12-17-2005, 04:35 AM
Oh sweetie, that's awful that they are being so nasty when you are clearly so upset about it. It was clearly a well-intentioned comment and your apology must have made that clear. It seems they are deliberately trying to get mileage out of it - that's why even your apology hasn't shut some of them up. It looks a lot like jealousy - they are looking to find a reason to ostracise you. Try turning the tables. Say 'It's a shame that despite my apology, you are so determined and hellbent on insisting my comment was meant to be racist. That says more about you than me'. Silly bunch of hags!

GoddessofNC
12-17-2005, 09:01 PM
I understand what you said, but some people have experienced different things. Racism does exist and a lot of times it isn't overdone or underdone, it is done too often.

I agree with another lady's comment about race differences being natural, I think the difference is racism being bliss for some people. Saying "Oh this is just my background". That is where it is offensive because you are CHOOSING to be that way.

But no, I don't think what she said was mean spirited or offensive, the person who took it that way may have been through some things and never resolved them, or is just trying to make something bigger because she is jealous of your earnings.

Also, as another poster said. Being black has nothing to do with ignorance, or with the "ghetto"(an originally Italian word for neighborhood, i.e. The Hood). So I take offense when an ignorant white, green or blue person starts being accused of "acting black". I am black (African American, whatever) and I can bet that my I.Q. is a higher number than the average person's and I don't believe I am an anomaly.

Reverse racism sucks as well.

Rodeny King said "Can't we all just get along" Goddess of NC said "Can't we all get a brain."


XOXO,

Jen 8)