View Full Version : Stupid stupid STUUUUPID ANNOYING questions
Bella21
09-07-2005, 05:35 PM
[QUOTE=NikkiWest]I don't care if you paid $20 to get in, so did everyone else. QUOTE]
Gold. ;D I'll be using THAT within the next couple of weeks!
Polo Girl
09-07-2005, 06:31 PM
No no no. He wanted to protect her from all the perverts who come into the club trying to take her home. :)
I think this is called "captain save a ho".
"She want the captain to come on and save a ho" - 50 Cent in "Candy Shop"
xoxoxo
Polo Girl
242_fair
09-07-2005, 11:27 PM
"No, I am not from Rhode Island. I am from Vancouver BC. No that is not part of Toronto. No I do not speak French. No I do not say "aboot" or "eh." No I do not like hockey. It is a lot warmer in Vancouver in the winter than it is here. No Canadians do not hate Americans, most Canadians don't really care either way. No I have never owned a dog sled or lived in an igloo."
too funny
colleen
09-08-2005, 08:58 AM
My favorite questions are about my husaband and my marriage.
"Of course he knows I work here! Where woudl I say I was going every night?"
--OR--
"Of course he knows I work here! Why would I marry somebody I would have to lie to?"
"No I do not cheat on my husband. Sort of defeats the purpose of being married, doesn't it?"
"No we are not swingers. The only time we swing is when we hang up the trapeze in the bedroom."
"Why does he LET me dance? I have been doing this since I was 18. He knew what he was signing up for!"
"I understand that if you were my man you would not let me dance. That is why you are not my man."
"Why does he LET me dance? For the bragging rights. He gets to take the stripper home EVERY night!"
"Does he mind my dancing? Hell no! Would you mind waking up every morning next to what the rest of Chicago can only dream about?"
susan
09-08-2005, 09:35 AM
You're funny....
Some nights, when I was talking to someone who was OBVIOUSLY just a one-nighter (we got LOT of those at Tiffany's), then I'd just make shit up for the hell of it. The real truth (Yes, I'm in college and no I don't do coke and no I don't turn tricks and yes I have a boyfriend and no he doesn't beat me and no I don't come from a broken home.....) was simply too boring most nights.
Then again, at Tiffany's, LOTS of custys (particularly the regulars) truly got off on the boring s--t. Then again, I played the whole "college girl out for a fun romp" bit.
forevernaked
09-09-2005, 02:20 AM
This thread had me ROLLING on the ground laughing! Sometimes, if the club is busy and guys keep trying to ask me lame questions "so how long have you worked here?" etc I just cut them offf and say "Does it matter?" and a lot of times they'll just laugh and reply "no, I guess it doesn't"
then again I am known for being kind of bitchy to my customers, especially the younger ones. Sometimes I feel bad but hey they must enjoy it on some level because I make $$$$$$$$ =)
rusdancer
09-09-2005, 07:35 AM
Hahaha!Very funny thread!I get asked all the time if I work for the KGB,since I'm russian.
This is a little different,but this one young guy asked me last night after tipping a dollar:"Can I get some change back?"
Abbeynormal
09-10-2005, 07:26 AM
Would it be too rude if I just made some pre-printed index cards to hand out to each customer? They would look at me like, "Is she serious?" :-)
Also, it's only once a year, but it gets asked a LOT during Mardi Gras: "Will you accept beads?"
Althena
10-06-2005, 05:12 AM
"Yes my penis is bigger than yours.".. paige i love you. lmfao.....
It's cute how everything on a strip club custie gets bigger, EXCEPT for his wallet ( usually ) - I had guys come in claiming to be from vivid video, but curiously enough could not produce a bisness card or an office number. Of course they wanted me to go back to their hotel room to make a movie.. Unhuh.
There is also the plastic surgon in his payless shoes that also told me he could make me a virgin again. Actually there is a procedure that can do that, then again it is pointless and expensive. Thoes payless shoes kind of gave him away.
My all time most hated question(s) is.. " How do you walk in thoes shoes." The answer is very well obviously, you were looking at my ass.
"Are thoes real." My reply is - Why do you care, your dick will never be in between them.
And the last irritant is.. "How tall are you." ( I know you are waiting on this one.)
I say.. I am so tall you can't climb to the top.
R
bella622
10-06-2005, 11:35 AM
There is also the plastic surgon in his payless shoes that also told me he could make me a virgin again. Actually there is a procedure that can do that, then again it is pointless and expensive. Thoes payless shoes kind of gave him away.
R
Why would anyone want to do that???? :-\
Cally
10-06-2005, 12:11 PM
[QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crow
There is also the plastic surgon in his payless shoes that also told me he could make me a virgin again. Actually there is a procedure that can do that, then again it is pointless and expensive. Thoes payless shoes kind of gave him away.
R
Why would anyone want to do that????[QUOTE]
I think its for the females who were rather sleezey in their past and are getting married to a guy who they convinced ithey a virgin... silly I know but yea..
lunchbox
10-06-2005, 12:49 PM
In some cultures a doctor examines you prior to marraige. If it's busted for any reason all bets are off.
GoldCoastGirl
10-07-2005, 04:26 AM
Here's one I hear that just bugs me to no end... "Do you like anal, baby?"
Actually, I would love to hear that one as I would get them off guard by casually saying.. "Hell yeah! However the thing is most guys just do not know how to do it right." Then I will talk about it. ;D :laughing:
BTW this is a really :laughing: thread.. love it!
thechaosfairy
10-07-2005, 04:39 AM
Hahaha!Very funny thread!I get asked all the time if I work for the KGB,since I'm russian.
Fuck! You really have it made with that one. Just answer "Yees, my real name ees Natalya" and start calling him Mr. Bond . . . }:D
MILFie Baby
10-07-2005, 01:26 PM
I almost forgot my favorite... "How much $ do you make doing this?" (I guess it all depends how much you brought with you? How much is that? ;) )
LMAO, too funny!!!! :worship:
MILFie Baby
10-07-2005, 01:29 PM
This is what I call the "nice shining armour guy" approach. Comes off totally nice but in the end wants to do you in the butt anyways:P
HAHAHA!!! :highfive:
rusdancer
10-08-2005, 07:49 AM
Fuck! You really have it made with that one. Just answer "Yees, my real name ees Natalya" and start calling him Mr. Bond . . . }:D
Yepp,maybe I should try that!
Funny question from last night (after already getting dressed in street clothes).....Are you smuggling watermelons?
KittenCaboodle
08-23-2006, 09:46 PM
customer: So WHY this job?
Me: Why do you think?
customer: Umm, the money?
Me: BINGO!
Maaaaaaaaaaan I go through that 100 times a night!
PookaShell
08-23-2006, 10:30 PM
Foxy...you've never lived in an igloo? What the hell? Girl youve been missing out. I know they look cold. But damn....I'm not gonna lie I'm feeling good in this icy little cave.
PaigeDWinter
08-23-2006, 10:40 PM
No I wont take off the latex. No you cant see the vagina. Yes I have a man. No you cant see the vagina. Yes my hair is real. Yes my ass is real. No you cant see the vagina. No I wont leave with you. No you CANT see the vagina! I dont know why so-and-so does that but I wont. No I'm not in the mob just because I'm Italian and from New York. NO you cant see the vagina!! Yes my penis is bigger than yours. Yes I expect to be paid for this. No I wont do that for a dollar. No you cant see the vagina. Yes I'm sure I really dont want to touch you there. NO TOUCHIE VAGINA!
My mafia vagina didnt seem to help.
No there is no botox in my ass. No you cant see the vagina. Yes I like this club. No you cant see the vagina. No, I wouldnt like it better at the extras clubs. No you cant see the vagina. No... seriously... I dont want to touch your dick. No you cant see the vagina. A dollar will NOT get you a kiss on the mouth. No you cant see the vagina. Why would I want to go home with you? Do you have a theme park in your back yard? A 400 inch TV with 800 channels? A pony? No? Ok then really... tell me why I would want to.... No you cant see the vagina!
PookaShell
08-23-2006, 10:43 PM
Um..Paige..I have a question...I was just wondering if I could see your..the..your um...Oh hell nevermind.
PaigeDWinter
08-23-2006, 11:08 PM
Um..Paige..I have a question...I was just wondering if I could see your..the..your um...Oh hell nevermind.
Well.... for you? :D
PookaShell
08-23-2006, 11:08 PM
Haha. YES!!! I love thee so.
Aprilleigh
08-23-2006, 11:57 PM
YES! i AM a real blonde.... (apart from my avatar)
and i walk in these THINGS by putting one foot in front of the fucking OTHER!!!!
why would i choose a name like Leigh???
so you RETARDS can understand me!!!...it's one fucking syllable and you still manage to fuck it up! it's not leanne, not lynn, not lisa...just LEIGH...and no...do i look asain? (yes folks...they actually think leigh is an asian name)
MY GOD...
oh and yes, i must be the hottest girl in the place, i really do make a fortune and NO i don't get turned on while dancing for you... but i do get hot and flustered so maybe you should keep paying me to see if THAT makes me horny
carolina6
08-24-2006, 12:24 AM
Yes, I'm a psyc major, no I don't try to analyze everyone I come across.
I can sympathize with this one, but I will also raise you one.
I tell people that I was a philosophy major and they ask me if I analyze everyone. PHILOSOPHY is not the same as psychology, idiots! Haha. I wonder if I could put my diploma on a wall and start counseling people, that would be a riot.
colleen
08-24-2006, 12:53 AM
My mafia vagina didnt seem to help.
Why would I want to go home with you? Do you have a theme park in your back yard? A 400 inch TV with 800 channels? A pony? No? Ok then really... tell me why I would want to....
Well...I tried.
I love this one. I will have to remember that. ::)
colleen
08-24-2006, 01:11 AM
Its funny how you hear the same 5 stupid questions for a few weeks, then it becomes a DIFFERENT set of stupid questions.
Lately:
No, you may NOT order a hit on my husband.
No, I am NOT ready to get a divorce.
So you want to sleep with me? Good for you. Take a number.
So you know how to eat pussy. What do you want, a medal?
leogirl876
08-24-2006, 10:48 AM
So you know how to eat pussy. What do you want, a medal?
That one is friggin hilarious!!!! LMAO!!!!!
Or this one
Him: "I would eat your pussy all night long"
Me: "Uh, no you wouldn't, I would never let you!!!!"
chickie
08-24-2006, 11:31 AM
"You are too pretty to work here " always puzzles me......does he think ugly girls should be running around? Or is he implying that I should have figured out how to land a rich husband????
Wierd
obeythegir
08-24-2006, 12:16 PM
Here's one I hear that just bugs me to no end... "Do you like anal, baby?"
"Id love to slide my huge strap on into your tight asshole, honey."
Of course this may make them to nervous to purchase dances from you....
Xiomara
08-27-2006, 09:12 PM
I need a good comeback for "What turns you on?"
Anyone?
"Money" Thats what I say.
Xiomara
08-27-2006, 09:26 PM
"Let me get ur number so we can get together, Ill help you with those bills so you don't have to work so hard"
These r always the guys who were "in the bathroom" when I was on stage, "forgot" their money at home so cant buy a $20 dance, let their sister borrow the new car so they say " can I ride home with u so we can chill at ur place"
Cant even tip me a dollar, but they got my bills!! hahahaha
Whats a good line for these guys other than smackin my lips and walkin away?
chaosraven
08-28-2006, 10:53 AM
How about "You hand over a six-digit figure and I figure you can get my seven digits"
Or
If you don't have dollar for my stage act, where are you going to get two quarters for a phone call?
Or
*actually* roll on the floor laughing your ass off. Get up, start to apologize, burst out laughing again... repeat until he goes away.
PorschaM
08-28-2006, 12:51 PM
I'm assuming these are all questions that come up during lap dances? As a non-dancer I wouldn't think "how tall are you" would be annoying but I guess anything you hear over and over kinda gets to you after a while. I've only been to a strip club once and got a lap dance as a birthday present. I think I talked to the girl about her tattoo the whole time. Would you rather they just shut up?
PM
(I found this forum while looking for something on a google search, but I like it here :) so I hope you all don't mind :duck:.)
not_a_custy
08-28-2006, 03:38 PM
"No, I am not from Rhode Island. I am from Vancouver BC. No that is not part of Toronto. No I do not speak French. No I do not say "aboot" or "eh." No I do not like hockey. It is a lot warmer in Vancouver in the winter than it is here. No Canadians do not hate Americans, most Canadians don't really care either way. No I have never owned a dog sled or lived in an igloo."
Well, yeah.....okay......but do you like The Crash Test Dummies? ;D
IvyLee
08-28-2006, 06:08 PM
I can sympathize with this one, but I will also raise you one.
I tell people that I was a philosophy major and they ask me if I analyze everyone. PHILOSOPHY is not the same as psychology, idiots! Haha. I wonder if I could put my diploma on a wall and start counseling people, that would be a riot.
haha even as a Sociology major i got that question
KittenCaboodle
09-03-2006, 01:39 AM
Customer: I dont wanna dance, I'd rather take you out for dinner!
Me: I'm not hungry!
Customer: OK, listen have you EVER had a one night stand?
Me: yes
Customer: So all I'm asking is a dinner date.
Me: No, Its dance or moving on.
Customer: Slut, you'd rather have a one night stand then dinner with me.
Me: Of course, that guy was good looking
(walks away fast)
chaosraven
09-04-2006, 01:00 AM
Well heck if he wants a dinner date, have him send round a limo and expect to pay for you and 4 or 5 of your friends...
Make an evening of it!
;D
stripperMBA
09-04-2006, 08:39 AM
I. Would you rather they just shut up?
Yes, I would rather they just shut up. Shut up and buy some dances. Because just like in any other business time is money.
I hate it when people ask me, "What are you?" This is the most tacky way possible to ask about ethnicity. I get asked about my ethnicity every time I go to work, and usually several times a night. It gets so old to me. Then they tell me I look exotic.
Katherine
09-04-2006, 12:08 PM
My name is Amber... I know you're a trustworthy guy, but my name is really Amber... Ok you got me. I only say my name is Amber because nobody believes my when I say my real name is Mercedes!
KittenCaboodle
09-08-2006, 09:39 PM
Grrrrrrr........Kathrine I get that one ALL the time my dancer name is Bianca (it sounds real and suits me) but I always get the old
Customer: "Whats ya real name"
Me:BIANCA!
Customer: Yea bullshit!
Me: Its "Rumpelstiltskin"
Customer: >:(
colleen
09-09-2006, 03:56 AM
Customer: Do you do anything besides jsut dance?
Me: Hmmm....Well, I would grind on your cock, but I can't seem to find it.
Only works in a high-contact situation, but you get the picture.
KittenCaboodle
10-10-2006, 08:34 PM
I'm so sick of the lonely older customers suggesting a good (free) conversation is better then a (payed) private dance. Havent they heard of the Rotary Club or an RSL ???
SusieQ
10-10-2006, 10:11 PM
Customer: "Oh no I feel like I know you now" (after making small talk for 5 miutes) "and I respect you too much to get a private show"
Me: "Yeah, I know how you feel. I respect you too much to watch you sit at a desk"
And
Customer: "I don't usually come to places like this"
Me: "awww, me niether"
And WHY do they always ask if dancing "turns us on"??? Yes, spreading my legs while trying not to fall off a teeny tiny table in front of a fat overweight man with bad breath is THE BEST!!!
charliegurll
04-25-2007, 11:07 AM
okay i gotta get in on this its too good!
first and foremost and this is very important please avoid blowing on me knee squeeing me and nuzzling me in the lap dance room and no normally i dont get turned on during a lapdance but its different with you. You're so fun to dance for
custy: how many songs do you want to dance for me?
me: a million 8-) (idiot)
I dont know if this is wyoming specific or not
custy:you need to find yourself a nice man to take care of you and buy you everything you want
me:you seem like a nice guy do you wanna buy me everything i want.
if you can ask for a beer in english you can ask for a lapdance in english and no you cant break the rules just because you pretend you cant seak english (or for that matter if you genuinel dont speak english)
so this girl at my club asks this reglar custy for a lapdance and all of a sudden he can only speak spanish so she ooks at him and goes wat your pein is only this {} big . He poopd right out of his chair and was like "its huge" hehehehe
charliegurll
04-25-2007, 11:25 AM
oh wait my girlfriend just told me to add her personal favorite custy common line
I used to be a bouncer at a strip club *puff out boney little chest try to look tough*
just makes ya wanna pinch there ittle cheeks and tell them they're cute
krp2003
10-10-2007, 10:58 PM
This one drives me nuts and i get it at least once a night:
Him: "How tall are you, like five ten, five eleven?"
Me: "Five Five" then i proceed to take off my eight inch heels
Him: Amazed look like i somehow magically managed to shrink right before his eyes.
So annoying
snow white
04-17-2008, 12:48 AM
I need a good comeback for "What turns you on?"
Anyone?
Money! Money turns me on. Give me all your money and I'll cum all over you!
austinatalie
04-17-2008, 12:51 AM
LOL old thread.
I'm not sure I'd get a good customer response if I told them money turns me on...
Maybe though. IDK