View Full Version : List of things you learn by watching porn.
KamrynAnne
10-01-2005, 06:57 AM
haaa.. thats hilarious.... thats kind of unattractive on a guy..... I'm assuming you probably didn't get a piece from your gf or fuck buddy or whomever that night?????
Prester_John
10-01-2005, 09:44 AM
Your secretary will gladly do you and your associate while bringing in your coffee (of course she has no underwear on and a very short skirt)
Business executives will always have a long meeting table no matter what business it may be - just in case.
Sitri
10-01-2005, 09:47 AM
haaa.. thats hilarious.... thats kind of unattractive on a guy..... I'm assuming you probably didn't get a piece from your gf or fuck buddy or whomever that night?????
Yea, but it tastes GOOoOOoOOD;D
KamrynAnne
10-01-2005, 09:49 AM
i would throw up all over a guy if i had to taste cheetos down in that region.. most girls like a clean guy who takes care of themselves...... mabye you should practice a more cleanly regimen on your body parts.
threlayer
10-01-2005, 11:01 AM
even more...
114. Anal sex isn't stinky.
115. Women are always prepared for anal sex.
116. Women's favorite food is jizz; sometimes they even consume it from glasses or plates.
117. Women don't have to be drunk or stoned to participate in degrading acts.
118. Secretions from genitals have substantial sucrose content.
119. The phone doesn't ring.
120. None of the songs played during sex are recognizable.
ModelRecruiter
04-02-2011, 02:45 PM
I had to show this to my husband and he was laughing too! He told me these are rules I should live by except for the part about other men joining of course ;) LOL
hangin
04-03-2011, 08:33 PM
eye contact with a female means that she wants to fuck and suck you no questions asked.
all Latina women loudly yell "aye papi aye papi aye aye papi aye" while having sex
jack0177057
04-04-2011, 11:30 AM
123. There are only two kinds of women: teens and MILFs.
124. No one has any pubic hair anymore.
125. Men only have hair on their head, and, maybe some on their chest.
126. Except for me, everyone else is making amateur porn and selling it on the internet.
127. Some people are into some very bizarre sexual practices,... some of which, oddly,... excites me very much.
128. I shoot too little sperm, other guys shoot sperm by the bucket-load.
129. The proper way for a guy to reach his climax is to: (1) stop intercourse, (2) proceed to jerk himself off and (3) shoot his half-gallon load at his partner's face.
130. It is not polite to cum inside a woman's vagina, that's what her face is for.
131. In some place, due to contamination of the environment (this is my guess), people must wear protective latex bodysuits and gas masks during sex.
132. Some sexy and attractive women have bigger penises than me. :D
Almost Jaded
04-04-2011, 01:58 PM
(btw, am i the only dirty slut who finds that many of the 'things you learn by watching porn' are, in fact, true???)
I have learned from porn that YES - my sex life IS that fucking good, lol.
GlitterBexie
04-05-2011, 06:52 PM
everyone who goes for an interview "really needs this job" enough to have sex with the boss, on the desk.
Girls dont say "You just jizzed in my eye, aaaargh it stings!" when male jizzes in the eye, in fact they love it and flutter their eyelashes and look coy while aforementioned jizz drips down their nose.
All girls kiss after being jizzed on, and play with jizz on their tongues whilst going "mmmmm"
nobody EVER gets arrested for indecent exposure when they get caught having sex in public.
firemaiden04
04-05-2011, 09:00 PM
Porn taught me that faking orgasms is a LOT of fun.
Almost Jaded
04-05-2011, 09:38 PM
^That's just unfortunate.
lemiwinks31
04-06-2011, 09:36 AM
That pterodactyls are surprisingly well hung